Charlie didn't think he'd ever been held with that much care and affection before now, and that made his heart swell and pound in his chest, as his eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill out after telling Nick all about the bullying he faced last year, and his self harming. Feeling Nick's warm breath on his neck helped to ease his mind a little, but Nick moved away to look directly into his soul, it felt like.
'Do you… do that now?' Nick asked, with eyes full of concern and fear for Charlie - god that sent a shockwave to Charlie's chest, and he found it hard to breathe.
'No.' Charlie said, then regretted the lie instantly. 'I mean. Hardly ever, only when things are really bad, and not since we started to… I'm sorry'
He saw some relief in Nicks eyes and body language even though he still looked tense, and felt himself being pulled by two strong arms into a tight warm embrace again. 'There's that S word again. Please, promise me if you feel like that again you'll tell me. Please. I'm your boyfriend, and I really l… care about you'
Was he about to say…? No that's impossible. This was Nick Nelson, rugby king of Truham. Even though Nick was his boyfriend, and he'd always been a constant golden light in his life since they were dating, there's no way Nick Nelson could love him. Wait, Nick was waiting for him to reply.. 'Yeah. Ok.' With that Nick fully relaxed and let him go.
Charlie almost whined at the loss of nick's body heat and comfort, but when he saw the look in nicks eyes as he stared at Charlie's face and body for what felt like hours, he sucked in a deep breath. It was as though Nick was looking at the biggest, brightest full moon for the first time.
Despite this, Charlie was taken back to the bullying, and those self destructive thoughts creeped in, if he looked too long or too closely, he knew that Nick would see his flaws, like his ears being too big or his nose not fitting with the rest of his face, his frame being much less muscular than Nick's. This made him shuffle uncomfortably, and he felt like he wanted to leave before Nick changed his mind about him. Even though they still had an hour before he was due home, he made an excuse of getting in trouble and went to stand, but nick stopped him and took a deep breath in.
'I love your hair' Nick suddenly announced.
'Oh' Charlie stuttered. He knew this, but had never heard Nick say it that way before.
'I'm not finished Char - I love your eyes, I love your body, I love your lips, I love…'
It was like time had stopped, and only Nick and Charlie existed. Nick had that lopsided smile on his face, and a twinkle in his eye that made Charlie melt. 'I love you. I love you so much, and you don't need to say it back. I just want you to know. You're my favourite person Charlie, and I'd do anything for you.'
There were no words, it was everything he needed to hear all at once, and he was trying hard to fathom in what world - Nick who was perfect, lovely, didn't have a nasty bone in his body, and not to mention absolutely stunningly beautiful, loved him, just.. Charlie. 'Nick… you love… *me*?'
'Yeah I do. I think I have since that day in the snow, Char. You've made me and my life so much better just be being in it. It's daft to say, I know we're young but I think you're it for me. Don't - feel pressured to say it back, or anything. I swear ok, I…?'
Charlie thought he heard himself telling Nick to shut up, then realising that sounded harsh he kissed him - 'I love you too, Nick. I have probably loved you since that first time I saw you in form.. I just can't believe that you love me. You're… you and I'm just Charlie', Charlie rushed out, with a shy smile on the corner of his lips.
Nicks eyebrows seemed to leap off his face, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish, trying to understand what he just said. In any other moment Charlie would have laughed, but this was special. 'Just Charlie? There is no *just Charlie*. You have no idea how amazing and special you are, not just to me. Come here'
Charlie felt himself being pulled close to the side of Nick, noting that they were pretty much plastered together at this point, and he started to get sleepy as Nicks fingers gently twisted and entwined themselves in Charlie's hair, while they enjoyed a rare quiet moment of just themselves, whispering, and laughing to themselves.
They both sat up as they heard the door click - Sarah had returned from her night out with friends. 'Nicky I'm home!'
Charlie reluctantly stood up, pulling Nick to his feet and said he had to leave or he'd definitely be in trouble, so Nick walked him to the front door. They shared another slow and soft kiss, that was full of feeling and love that both boys chest felt warm and full when they looked at each other afterwards. A few whispered 'I love you's with foreheads pressed together, and Charlie started off home, knowing that nick would be watching and waiting for him to turn the corner, so he looked back and waved goodbye.
Charlie let himself in the house and quietly locked the door again, turning round and jumping out of his skin when he saw Tori standing in the doorway, as usual sipping a cup of water. He was sure she wasn't there before. 'Jesus Tori, you need a radar or something!'
'Well, that would defeat the object of sneaking now wouldn't it.' She looked at Charlie as if her eyes were laser beams looking directly at his thoughts and emotions, and Charlie's face softened and blushed. 'You told him didn't you? Well… did he say it back?'
'Yeah, we did Tor - I don't know how I got so lucky' Charlie breathed out, noting a slight smile on his sisters face at this.
'Good. But he's lucky to have you, too. Remember that.' Tori turned to leave but then stopped. 'And you know I read true crime, so let him know if he ever messes up I know about 15 ways of unaliving someone without being caught…. I love you Charlie'
'Love you too, Tor.'
'Gross' Charlie heard Tori shout from the kitchen, and laughed under his breath.
Charlie made his way upstairs, and fell asleep almost immediately, after commenting on his boyfriend's new post of course. God he was lucky.