Stop! Just stop!

Kensi/Deeks one shot – not Densi yet.

SATURDAY – MALIBU BEACH

Kensi Blye and Marty Deeks were spending the early morning at the beach. The surf report predicted the swell would be moderate to good for 2-3 hours starting about now. They had been here for 30 minutes, having only a cup of coffee. Kensi would get breakfast burritos from a food truck when Deeks was finished with his runs.

They had been talking, joking, teasing each other – as was their usual pattern of interaction. Once Marty had said something mildly risqué which had earned him a punch to the shoulder – also something not unusual. This time, however, he had noticeably winced and looked at her with a darkness in his eyes she didn't recall ever seeing before. She was puzzled, but hid her surprised reaction. Their conversation continued sporadically until he made a joking comment that really rubbed her the wrong way. This time she punched him hard enough that her fist actually hurt when she drew it back. He jerked his head toward her, the dark look in his eyes had deepened. He turned back around, "are you related to my dad?" he leaped to his feet, grabbed his board and sprinted toward the ocean.

The only time Deeks sprinted to the surf was when he was racing someone; maybe Eric from NCIS-OSP or Detective Matt Bernhart of LAPD (one of his few friends there). He always jogged or ambled, this was unusual. It felt like he was escaping something (someone?) and Kensi noticed – a sinking feeling in her gut. She shook out her hand, trying to forget the pain.

Deeks hit the waves running at full speed; he slapped the board onto the water, jumped on it flat on his stomach. As the first break approached, he rolled and the wave passed over him smoothly. He reappeared and paddled out beyond the break and started his series of runs. Kensi watched him with her usual sense of admiration; he was so good, graceful, totally in tune with the Pacific. Nothing seemed amiss – except that comment. He had never said anything like that before. What did he mean? She wasn't in any way related to his dad! What was he thinking?

Deeks surfed for 2 hours; Kensi did some fetch with Monty and some time swimming in the warm, shallow water. As the 2 hour mark approached it looked like he was slowing down so she wandered over to the food truck and got their breakfast burritos and 2nd cups of coffee. She sat down on their blanket as he came out of the surf and headed her way. He stuck his board into the sand and sat down next to her, accepting the food and drink.

"Thanks Kens."

"Always Shaggy."

They ate in companionable silence until she spoke up. "Deeks, that comment surprised me – about me and your dad. What are you thinking?"

Silence.

"Deeks?"

"Kens . . . I should have told you this before; it's such a deep, dark part of my soul."

"Deeks, I – "

"No, let me talk, please."

"Ok." She reached out to take his hand, he withdrew. She cringed internally.

"My earliest memory is when I was 5 y/o, maybe 4. My dad was drunk and hitting my mom; she was crying and screaming at him. She screamed at me, telling me to go to my room and get out of danger."

"Marty, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I know you didn't. Anyway, that continued and he began turning on me when he was done with mom. I had many trips to the ER with lies to cover up what was really going on. Nobody intervened, ever."

"OMG, you were just a boy!"

"Yeah. My BFF Ray was experiencing much the same at home. Finally, he got a couple of guns (.38 S&W) from a cousin and gave me one. He said if it got bad enough, I should use it to protect me and/or mom. When I was 11 y/o it happened."

Tears are streaming down both their cheeks.

"OMG – Deeks!"

"One evening he pulled down his shotgun from over the fireplace. He was 3 sheets to the wind; he started screaming that he was going to kill us, waving the shotgun around. Mom screamed at me to go to my room, she didn't know I had a gun under my bed."

Clarity was dawning on Kensi.

"I got my handgun and came back downstairs. I pointed it at him and stood there. Mom was terrified; dad screamed at me . . . 'you worthless piece of shit, you don't have the balls to shoot your old man!'"

"I proved him wrong! I shot him in the shoulder, he collapsed to the floor. I ran back upstairs and stowed the gun then ran to Ray's. Mom ended up in a psych ward, dad in the hospital then prison, I entered foster care for 7 years – tossed around from house to house. No one seemed to want me – no one ever has."

"We do . . . I do Marty."

Silence.

"Well, when you slug me . . . what do you suppose comes to my mind, Kens?"

Silence as she hangs her head. "I'm sorry . . . so sorry. I had no idea."

"I know you didn't, and that's on me. Now that you know can you stop, just stop please? Find another way to communicate your thoughts or feelings?"

"I will try, I really will. I'm so sorry, I wish we could have had this talk a long time ago . . . but given the major emotional issues involved I see why you haven't opened up to me about this before. I do wish I could have figured this out sooner and spared you so much pain."

She reached for his hand and this time he didn't withdraw. Their fingers laced together and Kensi took the initiative, bringing their locked hands to her lips and softly kissing the back of Deeks hand. He smiled appreciatively.

"Thanks partner, I really appreciate it," Deeks says.

"No problem partner, I'll do my best to follow up," Kensi softly replies.

In the days that follow Kensi does keep her 'promise' and refrains from violent physical communication. There are times when she starts to punch, then drops her hand to her side; they both smirk. They feel good about this seemingly small step forward.

10 days later there is another opportunity to take a step forward. They just completed a take-down of a weapons sales ring in an old warehouse. Towards the end of the operation one last perp came out of nowhere and attacked Kensi. He got off 3 shots before Deeks could locate him and take him out. Kensi was struck by 2 bullets . . . just grazes to her forearms. At the ER the examining doctor determined that no sutures were needed, only cleansing and sterile dressings.

Back at OSP Sam and Callen lit into Deeks – "you are supposed to have cleared your side of the building, Deeks! Why did this happen?"

Kensi immediately recognized an opportunity to stand by her partner at the mission, something she has not always been good at. She and Deeks do an excellent job of covering their partner's back in the field – at OSP not so much. It's time to step up her game!

"Sam & G, you are wrong. After we came back, I went up to OPS and reviewed the tape with Nell. That last perp came from your side of the building; he literally appeared from out of nowhere. My partner was not at fault. He actually saved my life, again! We need to carefully review the op and see what we all could have done better. Get off my partner's back!"

"We will do that Kensi, thanks for your input," a rather subdued Callen admits.

At days end the partners walk to their cars, occasionally bumping shoulders or hips. As they approach their vehicles their hands find each other's and give brief, gentle squeezes.

Deeks softly speaks, "thanks partner, I really appreciate you stepping up your game. I will do likewise – we deserve it," his smile lights up the parking lot.

Kensi responds, "you are very welcome partner. We do deserve it, I feel good about where we are headed. You?"

"Absolutely!" This time Deeks the initiative, grasping Kensi's hand and softly kissing the back of it.

They both have big smiles as Kens settles in her SRX and drives off towards home. She is stopping one hurtful behavior and upping her in-office support for her partner.

What should she do next to advance things? She will sleep well tonight.

As Deeks takes Monty for his evening walk, he is asking himself the very same question. The progress they have made feels oh so good. He also will sleep well tonight.