Chapter 2

After spending over a week in bed (with both Sage and Brimstone being somewhat scarily insistent about it), Fade was now one hundred percent certain she hated resting more than anything. Sleeping was at least tolerable.

Sure, Nightmare often saturated her dreams with garbled nonsense and legit horrors, some leaving the initiator feeling quite unrested. But that was the usual. No big deal.

But then someone decided to add bed confinement to the activity of barely trying to sleep and not sleep. Fade hated it very much.
What made the whole ordeal even more horrible, was a missing Neon. When Fade was roused awake again from her "sleep", there was only Sage, with her cool hands and kind smiles. The lighting duelist never reappeared, no matter how many times Fade asked after her.

The days went something like this. Fade would "sleep" a bit, to which she would dream of angry blue eyes or Nightmare's taunting voice. Then Sage would gently shake her awake for her check up. The healer would hold Fade's arm up and ask her to move pieces of it. When she was satisfied with that, the monk would cease her small talk for just a few minutes to listen to Fade's heart.

It sounds sure, Sage would say, and that never got less confusing. Fade wasn't sure she'd even understand what the hell that meant if she asked. So she never did.

Then, with as much nonchalance as she could manage, Fade would ask if Neon had stopped by at all. Surely it was possible for the duelist to sneak a few minutes into her mission schedule to see Sage, and by association, Fade herself. But that was never the answer.

The healer's face would pinch with uncertainty. As if the question was pressing uncomfortably against her ribs. With a heavy sigh she would shake her head and just say that all the agents have been very busy lately.

Fade never bought it.

Now, with the final days of her bedrest behind her, Fade was finally free to move about the protocol again and she was eager to work out her stir crazy muscles. To scratch the itch nightmare left in her bones while wasting away in her bed. It had nothing to do with her thoughts always circling back to Neon's sleeping face or the way she almost let Fade in. Definitely not.

So, when most of the other agents broke for lunch or headed out on missions, Fade made a beeline for the range. The walk wasn't far from the barracks and upon entering the brick capped building, the initiator was relieved to see it empty.

With that relief, came the familiar feeling of mist leaving her hand. Next to her, conjuring from the black smoke, Prowler began walking in time with her steps, "We are free from your prison."

"That's a little dramatic, doncha think?" Fade quipped back, pushing through the set of doors leading into the target practice room.

"We could not leave your mind. There were no exits," Prowler insisted, still keeping up with Fade's steps, "To be trapped is to be a prisoner."

Fade ignored the cat's point and instead focused on setting up a phantom with the proper silencer and bullets. It felt good to be focusing on something else. Her mind really was a prison sometimes. Fade's fingers worked deftly across the unload and reload mechanisms, finishing the task quickly before turning around and approaching the bot dashboard.

There was a moment of calm as the blackmailer rolled her shoulders, feeling the wariness churn out of them, like winding a toy upright. Then, Fade snapped the gun to shoot 'start' and the bots quickly began popping up. The 30 seconds flew by and once the final bots head popped, the score read twenty-three.

"You missed several targets," Prowler said lazily from one of the piles of stacked crates. Apparently, with no human fear to consume, the manifestation of Fade's ultimate power had opted to be as sloth as it could. That made Fade snort.

"Did you wanna try using a gun ya 'lil shit? It's harder than it looks."

"We are strong without man-made objects to assist us."

Fade rolled her eyes,"I'm sure you are."

Prowler grumbled unhappily, their misty tail flickering red, "You are mocking us."

Fade lowered her gun and faced her ghostly companion, a look of feign surprise on her face, "Mock you? My partner in crime? Never."

"Be wary of who you speak to, Hazal," Nightmare said this time, the voice coming from deep in her mind. The sound felt serrated; ragged even.
When Prowler came out as a separate entity, it was often just one voice speaking for the object Fade had named "prowler." But when Nightmare spoke, like in her dreams or for her victims, the voice was actually an amalgamation of many voices. Some were very baritone, while others were scratchy and much higher in pitch. They never spoke with any emotion and although Fade never let it be known, it was very unsettling to hear.

Not wanting to converse with the grouchy, yet terrifying monster inside her, Fade returned to the task of practicing her aim. With enough time, she'd get all thirty targets. She just knew it.

Several hours passed and Fade was now steadily getting thirty bots in a row every single time. Once that felt less satisfying and her thoughts started to wander again, Fade turned her attention to the spike simulator. At the far end of the range, through a portal that led to another isolated building, the initiator decided to run her powers through their paces too.

Of course, it wasn't the same rush with bots since the nightmare didn't get any satisfaction from chewing on robot parts, but it was still practice nonetheless.

Prowler made sure to complain several times about not having live subjects, but Fade was determined to wear them out anyways. It only took twenty spike plants and defusals before the nightmare receded on its own.

Small victories.

It was nearing evening now and Fade could think of nothing more relaxing than a hot shower and some coffee, before tackling another session of research.

That was until Neon was on the other side of the range doors. The duelist took a surprised step back when her eyes registered it was Fade, and the blackmailer swore something flickered across them. Without a word though, Neon sidestepped and continued to pass.

Like an overflowing sink finally spilling over the edges, Fade's anger bubbled up. It made sense for Neon to be upset with her, that went without saying, but the effort felt one sided. Fade was actually trying to set things right. All the space, all the time, even the venom spewed at her, all meant nothing if the duelist wasn't even going to humor her proposal; the ceasefire she wanted so badly.

Fade could barely swallow past the welling desire to cry, but she just barely managed it. The next wave brought some fury with it and Fade's voice shook, "You're awful."

Neon stopped, her figure half way through the range doors, "What?"

Fade turned around, her hands balled into fists at her side, "I said. You're. AWFUL."

Neon spun on the ball of her foot and stalked towards Fade, electricity already starting to fizzle out from the tips of her pigtails, "Look who's talking."

"Believe it or not," Fade bit out, her jaw clenched, "You actually have a higher score than me."

Neon scoffed, "How do you figure that?"

Fade narrowed her eyes and put one hand on her hip, leaving the other up, "I gave you nightmares," She held up one finger, "but you nearly killed me, left me to heal alone, then ignored me, just now, as if I wasn't an actual person," Fade put her one finger down, then held up 3 fingers, "Who does that to someone?"

"Last time I checked, you don't need a babysitter," Neon replied, "Plus I already told you what I think of you. Talking to you will always be a waste of my breath."

Fade felt that comment wrap its fingers around her throat. The crying sensation was back, isolated mostly behind her eyes. It clawed at them. They ached, but she would NOT cry in front of Neon. Not when she had such a heavy hatred in her eyes. Fuck that.

"You don't like me? Fine. Don't like me," Fade started, poking a stiff finger into Neon's chest, "But I'll be damned if I let you sit here and pretend like you know me. You don't know what I've been through, you don't know my feelings, and you don't know what I want. You don't know anything! So, how about you take some of that dedication you use to hate me and put it into controlling your powers, yeah?"

By the end of Fade's angry rant, Neon was firmly backed up against the metal doors of the range. Just like all their other disagreements, the duelist's eyes were a furious blue and her mouth was twisted into a scowl so deep, there were lines wrinkling her forehead.

With the conversation seemingly over, Fade quickly retreated back towards the barracks. Her feet stomped against the gravel path, eyes dead ahead.

"Behind you," Nightmare commanded and not a moment too soon. Fade whirled to the left just as Neon's punch swung right. The electric agent shouted frustratingly before moving to try again.

"What are you-," the blackmailer tried, but Neon just kept coming. Her fists were getting quicker and quicker. Below her feet, blue outlines of hot, electrical energy left patches of singed grass in their wake.

This angry dance took all of Fade's focus not to mess up. Angry punch, dodged. Angry kick, dodged. Neon tried to trip her, Fade countered. This is what years of being a bounty hunter does to a person. Not to mention Nightmare never let her falter.

After several minutes of this, Fade saw her opening in Neon's sloppy posture and caught a slowish punch, twisting her to the ground. There was, of course, the leaking electrical energy Neon couldn't seem to restrain, and Fades hand burned at the contact. It didn't matter though, since Neon wasn't resisting.

On her back, with Fade knelt half way on top of her, Neon blew heavy, chest fulls of air out. Her eyes were searching the face hovering above her, before her head flopped to the side. It was a shame Fade wasn't doing anything else right now, instead of wrestling with this pretty, grudge holding, mule headed brat. Wait, what was that first part?

"You didn't attack back," Neon finally said, her eyes closing and breathing still quite labored. That snapped the initiator out of it.

"I did not," Fade confirmed, Neon's hand still twisted in her grip. She wasn't sure if it was a great idea, but she dropped the appendage a few moments later. Of course, Fade didn't move from her half straddle.

The grass was cool under her knee, and Fade suspected that the air might also be fairly chilly too. It was September afterall. However, neither agent seemed particularly cold, Neon most of all though. Even looking away from Fade, the girl under her was flushed; tousled from exerting herself. It was hard to tear her eyes away.

"Consume," nightmare suddenly commanded, the invisible rope wrapped around Fade's torso tugging insistently. The temptation was strong, but Fade was stronger. She'd learned long ago how to resist most of Nightmare's whims, but just to be safe, the dream seer stood. The distance would help.

When a few heartbeats passed, the duelist slowly clambered to her feet, "Ugh, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" Fade asked, her tone incredulous, "Inanılmaz."

"Look," Neon started, crossing her arms defensively, "I can't really say anything else. Sorry is just what you say."
"Do you even mean it?"

"And I–, wait what?"

"Do you," Fade said more slowly, her head tilting slightly to the side, "mean it?"

Neon's gaze dropped to the ground, each foot taking a turn to kick up dust before she sighed, "Maybe? I don't know."

Fade tsked and shook her head, "That's what I thought. You're lucky I'm not telling Brim about this."

Neon's head snapped back up, "You're not?"

"No," Fade said sharply, "But don't think I'm letting this slide. You need to get your shit together Neon. The glares were one thing, but this?" She shook her head.

"I wasn't…trying–" Neon trailed off, one hand coming up to rub her neck.

"Figure it out," Fade insisted, ending the conversation with a dismissing wave. She vanished into the darkening dusk and Neon did not follow. The crickets were lively and now that the adrenaline had worn off, the evening air was, in fact, pretty cold. Hopefully the duelist didn't linger outside too long.

Fade caught the thought quickly and squashed it, "Kahretsin, get out of my head. I'm done caring about her."

Only the nightmare knew just how untrue that was.

It was another week before Neon talked to Fade again. Ironically, the duelist caught her in the cafeteria again, brewing a cup of coffee. Nightmare had pointed out that someone was nearby, but the initiator had already felt the presence as well. It wasn't until the familiar scent of Neon wafted through the air, that Fade knew who was watching her.

After what felt like a million years, the electric agent quietly pushed her way into the room. Fade was dumping a healthy amount of cream into her mug and stirring it by the time Neon got to the same place she'd been the last time. Cradling her mug, Fade turned to lean against the counter and offered Neon a quirked eyebrow.

Neon's cheeks puffed up briefly before blowing out all the air, "Can we talk?"

"You? Want to talk with me?" Fade asked innocently, though the sarcasm was a bit heavy handed.

The duelist frowned, "You know that's really–,"

"Rude?"

"Yeah. It is," Neon insisted, before reaching up to rub her eyes, "But I suppose I deserve it after how I've been acting."

Fade smirked, "Just a 'lil bit."

Things were quiet for a few moments, before Neon's hands dropped back to her sides and her head bobbed towards the tables, "So will you? Talk with me?"

"How could I say no when you asked so nicely?" Fade replied, her voice still snarky.

The two agents made their way to the closest table, opting to sit across from each other considering the tension. When they were both situated, Fade took a long sip of her coffee. When she placed the mug back down, Neon's hands were clenched tightly together atop the table. The sight softened Fades' resolve.

"You're nervous," Fade offered, making sure to keep her tone neutral. She drummed her rings against the ceramic to fill the silence.

"I am," Neon replied a beat late, but cleared her throat and continued, "But I'm trying not to be."

Fade's eyebrows rose and her hand movements stopped, "Such a change of heart."

A breathy laugh left Neon's mouth before the corner's perked up into a small smile, "Something like that."

What followed next was a tense and hollow silence. One that settled over the whole room like a flapped out blanket. The moment, while somewhat different now, reminded Fade of waking up in that med bay bed again. Fidgety, brooding, anxious Neon waiting in silence for something to happen.

"Fade," Neon finally said, her voice soft and scratchy.

The Turkish agent slipped her eyes away from the duelist's hands to look at her face and the look she was getting scattered butterflies in her belly. Vulnerability was not something Fade handled well. Even if someone took theirs, wrapped it up in duct tape, put it in a box, and wrote fragile on it, Fade would still manage to break it. But the way Neon was looking at her, the way it felt so soft, there was no way it could be anything else. She dared to tread carefully.

"Yes?" Fade whispered, her mouth suddenly dry.

"I'm scared."

The blackmailer sucked in a breath and Nightmare rumbled in her chest. Clenching the mug in her hands, Fade let out a shuddering breath, "I know. But you have to realize that I'm never going to hurt you on purpose ever again."

"I think," Neon started, the corners of her mouth pulling down, "I think i've known that for a while now."

"You have?"

Neon nodded.

"Then what was…," Fade gestured in between them.

The electric agent unfurled her hands and pressed them flat against the table. Then she tipped her head back to stare at the ceiling, "I spent a long time running laps trying to answer that question myself. And, to be honest, it was eventually Sova that made me realize what I was doing."

"The archer?"

"That's the one," Neon's frown deepened, her gaze still focused on the darkened glass ceiling, "He told me that seeing you makes him want to try harder. Do you know why that is?"

"...not really."

Neon leaned back in her chair, before settling her gaze back on Fade, "Because you…well…this might sound kinda obvious actually." The duelist chuckled weakly.

Fade leaned forward, "Merak etme, I'm not here to judge you."

Neon's eyes danced across Fade's features before she nodded, "He said you're a reminder for what's on the line. What he's afraid to lose. And I just…it hit me, yah know?"

Neither agent spoke again, the two of them locked in a staring battle. Fade opened her mouth several times, but couldn't find the words to articulate what she felt. Nothing really could. There was so much to unpack with no time to unpack it. Not with Neon continuing right along.

"You were just a big, ugly reminder of the monster I could become and I hated you for it. But that's not fair….Not to you. Not to me. And I am so sorry," Neon finally finished, a tear freeing itself to race down her cheek.

Fade's hand moved without her consent, softly catching the salty thing before it even reached Neon's chin. The action left Neon's eyes wide.

"Don't cry," Fade whispered, her chest clenching, "It doesn't fit you at all."

Neon snorted and a genuine smile followed it, "You'll be disappointed to know that I actually cry quite a lot."

"Don't tell me," Fade drolled, her tone playful, "Sappy love movies?"

That earned another laugh, "Yep! They're cheesy, but it feels good to watch other people be happy," Neon replied. After a beat, she hesitantly took Fade's outstretched hand, "I forgive you, by the way."

The world seemed to stop for a moment. Fade's chest constricted so painfully that she thought she might actually be dying. The heat that licked up her cheeks and dropped warm embers into her belly reminded her that she was, in fact, still very much alive.

Nothing could have prepared Fade for hearing those words. Especially when Neon was touching her so casually; so plainly. Everything felt both surreal and concrete simultaneously to the point that words wouldn't exit Fade's mind. She was just staring at Neon, eyes bigger than the moon and her heart in her throat.

The ceiling was pouring moonlight through the glass panes above and it felt made for this moment. Neon's light in Fade's darkness.

"Um, Fade?" Neon said shyly, "Did I say something wrong?"

"N-no," Fade stuttered, before clearing her throat and giving Neon's hand a reassuring squeeze, "You just surprised me. That's all."

Neon furrowed her brow, "Why?"

The dream seer clicked her tongue and pulled their joined hands closer to the center of the table. Once there, she unconsciously started to swipe her thumb over the skin there, "Well. When I told you I wanted to fix this back in med bay, I had only intended for you to accept my apology." A pause. "I never expected you to forgive me altogether. That's–" A sudden sob cracked the sentence.

Neon's face softened, her eyes drooping slightly as she leaned forward to rest her head on the outstretched arm, "I didn't realize how much this was bothering you."

"Neither did I," Fade whispered back.

The two agents were once again in silence, with Fade for once being the unsure, anxious one. When her eyes finally dared to look back at Neon, the duelist was still staring. Though, it was hard to decipher what the look was. That vulnerability was still there, but maybe something else was too?

"I forgive you for the fears, Fade. Okay?" Neon mumbled half into her arm. It sounded almost childish in nature, like a kid trying desperately to stay awake.

"Alright. Truce?" Fade said, using her free hand to sip her coffee.

The electric agent smiled wider and nodded, "Truce."

"By the way," Fade started again, a small smirk breaking her poker face, "Do you really think I'm big and ugly?"

Neon had never laughed more than she did just then and even Nightmare seemed to like the sound. That was a really good sign.