Chapter 5

When Fade let Neon into her apartment again, the atmosphere was a lot less frantic than it had been in the club. The two agents had plenty of time to get their thoughts and feelings in order during the car and plane rides.

So now that they were truly alone, Fade let out a sigh, "I'm sorry I brought work up again."

"Hazal, it's okay. Really. You were just being realistic," Neon reassured, setting her bag onto the floor by Fade's desk, "One of us has to be."

Fade watched as Neon turned to face her, the smile on her face curving down slightly. That wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all. Fade leaned against her front door and crossed her arms, "What aren't you telling me?"

Neon's smile dropped, eyes widening, "What makes you think I'm not telling you something?"

"You just seem uneasy now that we're actually talking."

"Ah," The duelist hummed, turning back around to run her fingers across the desktop, "I guess I am."

"I'm willing to listen if you're willing to talk."

Neon hummed again before letting out a tiny giggle, "Have you always been this nice? Was I just too mad at you to notice before?"

Fade pushed off from the wall and quickly scooped up one of Neon's hands. The action made the runner turn and meet the heterochromic eyes gazing at her. There was a pregnant pause before Fade forced the words out, "Only you get this side of me."

"And what side is that?" Neon asked softly.

"The side that cares because I want to. Not because Brim asks me too."

Neon's nose crinkled a bit at the bluntness of Fade's statement, but eventually smoothed out into another sad smile, "I'm one lucky girl then."

"Will you tell me now? What troubles you?" Fade asked seriously, moving her free hand to caress Neon's cheek.

"It's just so hard."

"What is?" Fade pressed, trying to reassure her girlfriend.

Neon's eyes softened and she tipped her head heavily into Fade's palm before kissing it, "It's hard to choose between the two things I love."

Fade clicked her tongue, "Is being away from home still bothering you?"

"Hazal," Neon chided, a twinkle of mirth sparking in her brown gaze, "What did I just say?"

"That you don't wanna pick between your two lo–," Fade's mouth snapped shut.

"Did you realize it?"

"I don't know," Fade whispered, feeling her heartbeat pick up.

"I'm sure you do, scary nightmare lady."

"Are…Are you certain?"

Neon placed a hand on either side of Fade's chest and slid them up to encircle her neck, "I am. You don't have to say it back."

"I probably knew before you did."

Neon smiled at that, "Knew what?"

Fade felt her cheeks warm, but she never took her gaze away from Neon's, "I love you."

Before Fade could start to over explain, since she was bound too, Neon surged forward and kissed Fade hard. Her lips rarely pulled away far enough to breathe, let alone give Fade room to think. Maybe that was the point.

When Neon pulled back she was tearing up just a little and that took Fade's breath away for the third time tonight, "I love you too, Hazal."

XOXOXOX

Then the two agents were kissing again. Only this time, there were no more words to say. At least, there were no more words they had to say. Fade quickly took control over the kiss, making Neon whine from every nibble or swipe of her tongue. Neon's hands kept Fade close as they buried themselves in her hair. The dream seer could still taste a bit of salt and strawberry from Neon's night in the club on her lips. She didn't mind it.

The messy makeout session eventually bumped Neon's knees against Fade's bed. Unable to stop their momentum, the initiator let Neon fall but quickly followed suit, crawling on top of her.

"Neon," Fade started, using her free hand to caress the runner's exposed midsection, "I don't want to pressure you."

"You aren't pressuring me," Neon assured, shuddering from Fade's small ministrations, "I knew what I started at the club. I want this. I want you."

"You'll tell me if you change your mind?"

Neon nodded, "Promise."

That confirmation tightened the knot in Fade's belly, but didn't stop her from bending down to start kissing the neglected parts of Neon's body. The kisses were wet and followed up with small nips, soothed by her tongue. Anything to make the duelist under her mewl so sweetly.

Fade started at her neck, trailing down Neon's jaw to her collarbone. The initiator's hands moved on their own to pull the offending crop top off completely, leaving more flesh exposed. Fade quickly returned to peppering kisses ever downward. When she finally got to one of the covered breasts, she experimentally bit the stiff nipple poking into the material.

"Ahhh," Neon breathed out, arching slightly into Fade's mouth, "You're really taking your time, huh."

"Good things come to those who wait."

"I've done plenty of waiting," Neon retorted back, reaching behind herself and undoing the bra, "I've done the whole terrified and patient thing already."

The previously covered mounds were suddenly very easily accessible and it took Fade's entire being not to stoop down and devour them right away. Instead, she forced her eye's to meet Neon's, "There's nothing wrong with being afraid."

"I'm not anymore. I trust you," Neon answered earnestly, reaching out to tug on her girlfriend's shirt, "Touch me. Please."

Fade took the hint and tore her own shirt and bra over her head, flinging it aside. There were no words that could quite articulate just how much the dream seer was burning inside from Neon's honesty. So she didn't say anything. She didn't have too. Fade just let her arousal lead the way and took one of Neon's nipples into her mouth. She swirled her tongue slowly around the bud and used a free hand to mimic her motions on the other breast, all while the duelist moaned soft, broken words into the air.

Under normal circumstances, Fade would have been much more methodical about her foreplay, letting her partner get plenty worked up, about to beg, before moving further. But this wasn't normal.

The two agents had waited a while for this and if their dance at the club was any indication of how badly they wanted this, it was probably a lot.

So Fade left Neon's breasts to kiss a sloppy trail down to her waistline, pausing to bite any spot the duelist's breath hitched at. Between the light, breathy moans and whimpers, Fade's patience was wearing quite thin. Not wanting to stall this even further, Fade moved away from Neon just enough to pull her leggings and panties off. Those joined the other discarded clothes.

Fade licked her lips and met the duelist's gaze again after letting her eyes trail hungrily over powerful thighs and a heaving chest, "You're so fucking beautiful, Tala. Bir tanrıça."

Neon let out a small strangled noise and Fade didn't even let her reply before stepping back from the bed and disrobing the rest of the way. If she was going to feel Neon, it seemed only fair for the other agent to feel her as well. The runner deserved to know how wet she'd become.

Fade crawled back on top of her girlfriend, pressing a thigh against Neon's sex, which caused the girl below to suck in a shuddering breath.
Fade took a moment to smile smugly at Neon before adding even more pressure with her leg, "You are so wet. All for me?"

"Yes," Neon's voice insisted sharply, a hint of a whine behind it.

"Good girl," Fade cooed back. Her heart was thundering so hard in her chest at the sight of pure, unfiltered lust in Neon's darkening eyes. Maybe she'd made the electric agent wait long enough.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," Fade reminded gently, moving her leg just enough for her fingers to make contact.

Upon touching Neon directly, the other agent balled her fists into Fade's black sheets, "Holy F–, Ahh."

"Feel good?"

"So good. So so good."

"Perfect," Fade leaned down to lick the shell of Neon's ear, "I've only just begun."

The next sound the runner made was much louder than anything she'd let out previously. Her moans were coming out less strangled and more unhindered; uncaring of what they sounded like. This was likely because Fade's fingers were starting to find their rhythm rubbing against Neon's clit. Small circles, little pinches. It was all a part of the plan to unravel Neon from the inside.

Minutes passed as Fade continued to play her girlfriend like a violin, eliciting sloppy wet sounds from Neon's pussy. When her fingers were coated in juice, Fade dared to dip her fingers near the electric agent's entrance, only to be met with a small beg.

"More," Neon let out breathlessly, leaning up to kiss Fade as she hovered over her. Their tongues brushed together in a way that caused the initiator to moan right into Neon's mouth. When they broke apart, Neon repeated herself, "More."

"Okay," Fade mumbled in between the kisses she was sprinkling along the duelist's chest.

Her fingers entered Neon and the response from both agents was automatic. Fade could feel how warm and fucking wet Neon was for her. The other agent was just relieved to have some pressure inside. It shouldn't be long now considering the way Neon was wiggling against Fade's fingers.

The rhythm continued with Fade's thumb circling the duelist's clit, but there was the added pleasure of Fade sliding her two fingers in and out of Neon's pussy. If her brain kept up with how good it felt to fuck the electric agent, Fade would whisper praise against Neon's ear. That seemed to work wonders since the moans always included her name. It was addicting to hear it sound so provocative.

After another minute, Fade could feel Neon's walls tighten around her fingers. It was now or never, "I wanna see you cum for me, Tala."

"I'm close but mmm. I can feel my control slipping a little."

"I've got you."

"Ahhh, shit. You–you promise?" Neon whimpered out, eyes fluttering open to look into Fade's. Her orgasm was getting close.

The initiator smiled, "Most definitely. Let go for me."

Neon's eyes stayed locked on Fades, even as her moans started to rise in pitch, until finally release crashed over the duelist like a wave. Fade could feel the static shocks that Neon's skin let off as she came. It would be a lie to say they didn't hurt, but the blackmailer could hardly fault her girlfriend for letting off a bit of radiance during such a strong emotion. The shocks stalled out as soon as Neon's orgasm drained from her body and Fade's name stopped falling from her lips.

"I told you I had you," the initiator whispered, peppering kisses down from Neon's temple to her jaw, stopping finally on her lips. The kiss was soft and reminded Fade of their first kiss just a few weeks ago. The memory made her smile.

"I knew you would," Neon mumbled, shuddering when Fade removed her fingers, "Did I hurt you?"

"I'm fine. No harm done."

Neon frowned, "You sure? I felt it tingle like…everywhere."

"I'm sure," Fade insisted, running her tongue over her sticky fingers, "Mmm, I'd do it again in a heartbeat too."

"FADE!" Neon squealed, covering her face in shame, "Don't do that!"

"Why not? You taste divine," Fade purred, joining Neon towards the front of the bed. She threw the covers over them.

The duelist's cheeks were pink when she pulled her hands away, "You just say these things and my body burns up."

"I know the feeling," Fade replied, smirking, "You were doing that to me while you were dancing tonight."

That made Neon smile and she turned to nuzzle into Fade's chest, "I knew I was probably a bit out of my element trying to be sexy…but I've been regretting not doing something with you sooner and I wanted to change that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Neon said softly, giving Fade's exposed throat a few kisses, "I've really come to care about you. Valorant is harder when you're not here. You…might not be one day."

"Tala…" Fade said sadly, but the other agent was quick to interject.

"I know I shouldn't think that way, but that's ultimately what pushed me to do this tonight," Neon paused. Fade kissed the top of the duelist's head, then she continued, "None of our days are guaranteed in this war. What if I let myself become so scared that I never got to be with you?"

The blackmailer let Neon's words sink in and it honestly made a lot of sense why everything felt so relaxed tonight. It was a bit worrying at first, but now that she knew why, Fade found it comforting to know Neon cared that much. If only her past self could see her now, falling in love again, with the person she'd hurt the most in Istanbul, of all people.

"Say something?" Neon said, pulling back to look into Fade's eyes.

"Sorry sorry, I was just thinking," Fade started, cupping the curve of Neon's waist under the covers, "I was just thinking that I'm glad you care about me. I'm glad that I have you. I'm…thankful I get to be loved by you."

That made Neon smile a gigawatt smile, "Aw really?"

Fade snorted, "Yes. As sappy as that is."

Neon shook her head and leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, "I don't mind. Like you said. This side is for me and I wouldn't want it any other way."

The two agents laid like that for a while and just as Fade was sure Neon was about to fall asleep, another thought occurred to her, "Tala."

"Mm, yes Hazal?"

"Thank you for forgiving me. Way back when."

A beat passed and Fade suspected the duelist had maybe fallen asleep anyway, but then a soft sentence settled into the silence and it nearly made Fade cry.

"I should've asked you to forgive me."