Treehouse of Horror XI it's Halloween time again! Homer dies after eating a piece of broccoli and his ghost must do one good deed to get into heaven. Then Bart and Lisa star in a fairy tale based story as Hansel and Gretel. Finally Lisa's kind hearted act of releasing a tortured dolphin from Sea World causes the end of the world as dolphins take over!
Plot
In the titles gag, The Simpsons family are the Munsters. Homer is Herman Munster, a Frankenstein monster being who smashes through his front door accidentally. Marge is his wife, a vampiress. Grandpa is Grandpa Munster, a vampire mad scientist. Lisa is Marilyn, the only human member of the Munsters. And Bart is Eddie Munster, a half vampire, half werewolf boy with a giant slingshot.
However they run back to their porch and cower as angry townsfolk with torches and pitchforks kill them, except Lisa who remains unharmed.
G-g-g-ghost Dad!
The Simpsons are having breakfast when Homer reads the newspaper.
"Hey who cut out my Miss Buxley?" Homer whined.
"Who do you think? Madame scissors..." said Oscar giving Marge a hard look.
"I don't like you ogling her!" said Marge.
"Fine. I'll read the horoscope." Homer sighed.
"Today you are going to die." said the horoscope as Homer read it aloud. Everyone was horrified.
"That seems oddly specific..." said Lisa.
Marge read hers. "Today your husband will die!" Marge gasped.
"Oh come on! That only works if a Taurus is married to a Virgo!" Homer ranted. "Anyway I better get to work."
Anyway the episode is called Ghost Dad but with stuttering so Bill Cosby appeared.
"Zip zop Zoobity bop! Ah Ahahahahaha!" said Bill Cosby speaking gibberish.
Hugo winced exasperated.
"Oh crap..." Bart groaned.
"Well I better head off to work." said Homer.
Homer drove to work, various mishaps nearly killed him. Homer, the bowling ball fell on his head. A giant globe model crushed part of his car but missed him.
"Stupid horoscope!"
A pick axe went flying and embedded itself into his head.
"Blupid blorobope!" Homer replied.
At work he had a rattlesnake biting his arm.
"Homer you should really go to the hospital!" said Carl.
"He'll get tired soon..." said Homer. "Snakes, nature's quitters..."
Carl was concerned.
Lenny drank his coffee. He didn't care about the situation, in fact nothing really bothered him.
"So... what did your horoscopes say?" Homer asked them.
"Eh, that I'll find love..." said Carl.
...
At dinner Homer smugly admitted he was still alive and the horoscope was stupid.
"All that happened was that a rattlesnake bit me and that testicle thing..."
"Meh..." Bart shrugged as he ate his food.
"Well I watched the film Ghost and now I won't sleep tonight because I'm scared of those scary shadow things that take Sam's murderer to Hell." said Oscar.
"Homer eat your broccoli or no dessert." said Marge.
"Fine..." Homer sighed. He ate the broccoli, but suddenly choked and keeled over dead.
"Daaaaad!" His kids cried.
"Oh my lord!" Marge gasped.
"Oh my god! That vegetable killed Homer!" Stan from South Park suddenly bursted into the dining room.
"You bastard!" Kyle yelled.
Bart frowned at them.
The family Doctor Dr Payne came round and examined Homer before extracting the piece of broccoli.
"Another broccoli related poisoning..." said the Doctor.
"But I thought-" said Marge.
"That broccoli was healthy? No! Why it's the most deadliest plant in the world!" Explained the Doctor. "Why it even tries to warn you with its terrible taste!"
The coroners put Homer in his body bag. "They looks so hilarious when they die like that!" remarked the coroner about Homer's painful expression. They see Bart, Hugo, Lisa and Maggie looking sad. "And so sad too." the coroner added in a mournful tone.
"So you see Chubby Franklin lived across the street you see and Chubby Franklin always made a face like this!" said Bill Cosby making a silly face.
Bart facepalmed.
What? He was in Ghost Dad!
"Bill Cosby I am at your command!" said Oscar. Oh crap he drugged Oscar!
"Command? Command? I command you to go to hell and sit on a red hot coal, and wait for me, until it snows!" Bill Cosby yelled in anger.
"Um okay..." said Oscar.
...
Meanwhile Homer's ghost went up to heaven.
"I'm in heaven?!" He remarked. "Woohoo! In your face Flanders! I got to heaven before you!"
"I wouldn't celebrate so soon Homer." said St Peter. "You haven't done one good deed in your life."
Homer made a nervous sound and ran at the gates of heaven to try to get in. But they zapped him.
"Relax Homer. Tell you what. I'll give you 24 hours to do one good deed to get into heaven." said St Peter.
"Oh ok..." Homer sighed.
St Peter pulled a lever and Homer fell back down to Earth.
Then Patrick Swayze arrived.
"Phew! But I'm not ready to die! I have to protect my girlfriend!"
"Oh that's so thoughtful and kind! Well heaven is waiting." said Saint Peter to Patrick Swayze.
Maude Flanders winced.
Ghost reference!
Demi Moore made clay pots on a clay spinning wheel while Unchained melody played.
The ghost of Patrick Swayze snogged her while they made pottery.
Homer's ghost returned to Earth to do a good deed.
Saint Peter sighed and played with a yo-yo.
Bill Cosby arrived in Heaven.
"Eat shit." Saint Peter snapped at him.
"Thanks I've been meaning to quit." said Bill Cosby.
St. Peter pulled the lever and banished him.
God was watching over his creation, the universe. There was something he made he wasn't happy about.
"What the hell was I thinking..." said God.
...
Marge was mourning Homer. "Oh Homie! I can't believe a piece of broccoli killed you!"
"I can. Broccoli is evil! And yucky!" said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
Homer's ghost saw the piece of discarded broccoli. "What was I thinking..." he remarked. "I'll try it again!" He ate the broccoli again and it killed him again. Yeah somehow it killed a ghost.
Homer's ghost returned to heaven. "I tried the broccoli again..."
St Peter sighed. "You have 23 hours..." he pulled a lever and Homer fell back down to Earth.
Patrick Swayze watched him land in a dumpster. He winced.
Patrick as a ghost wondered about Springfield but no one could see him. He watched a tragic car crash unfold. One of the victims was a mobster in Fat Tony's gang.
The Mobster's soul looked about realising he was dead. He was horrified.
Then those freaky scary moaning shadows from the movie Ghost dragged him away screaming.
"That's what happens to bad people." said the ghost of Bleeding Gums Murphy.
"Zip zop zoopity bop! Pokemon! Frazzle Snazzle!" said Bill Cosby jabbering.
"Best to just ignore him." said Bleeding Gums Murphy.
Homer climbed out of the bin.
"That horoscope was bologna. Nothing happened except the pick-axe in my head, the rattlesnake bite, and the testicle thing." said Homer. "What finally did me in was a stupid piece of broccoli!"
"Well that's just embarrassing..." said Maude's ghost.
Homer sighed.
"Uh Maude... he killed you. Aren't you angry with him?" Frank Grimes's ghost asked her.
"Shut up Grimey..." said Homer.
"It's Frank Grimes!" Frank Grimes snapped.
...
That night he visited Marge.
"Marge... Maaarge..." Homer moaned. "It is me, Homer!"
"Homie?! You came back?" Marge gasped.
"Yes Honey! I need your help! I need to do one good deed to get into heaven!" Homer explained.
"Well you could start by cleaning the garage, painting the house, fixing the roof..." Marge listed some chores he never got to finish in life.
"Whoa whoa whoa! I'm just trying to get to heaven! I'm not running for Jesus!" Homer replied suddenly interrupting her. "Sheesh!"
"Wait before you go Homie!" said Marge.
"Yes?"
"How comes I can see you but in Ghost Demi Moore couldn't see or interact with Patrick Swayze unless he was possessing someone?" Marge asked.
"I don't know!" said Homer rudely.
"I don't know either sistah! I'm in loads of things like a nun! A clairvoyant! A cartoon ice sorceress!" said Whoopi Goldberg.
Marge grimaced.
"Oh speaking of which, I have to help the ghost of Patrick Swayze see his girlfriend one more time!" said Whoopi.
"I communicate with the living via telephone!" said Bill Cosby as Elliot.
"Our job mostly entails trapping you spirits so you don't bother the living!" said Egon from Ghostbusters.
...
Homer flew around town trying find something good to do. He saw Agnes Skinner trying to cross the road, but some Boy Scouts were heading towards her. "Oh no you don't!" Homer grabbed her.
"Oh! What's happening?! People can see my undergarments!" Agnes yelled and wriggled.
"Ugh! Stop wriggling you old bat!" Homer grunted. She fell from his arms. "Whoops!" We hear her cry and hit the ground with a sickening crunch and cars beeping their horns and yelling. "I'm sure she was gonna be the next Hitter! Hellooooo?" Homer yelled up to heaven.
Homer then went to the Kwik-e Mart and stole a squishee. However the squishee went through him. Ha! And people slipped on the blobs of squishee.
Homer then saw Bart being picked on by Nelson who was giving him a noogie.
"Ha ha! Your dad's dead! Mine's just in jail!" said Nelson mocking him.
"That's it!" Homer had an idea to save Bart.
"Woooooooo! Woooooooo!" Homer haunted Nelson.
However Nelson released Bart and grabbed Homer instead and gave him a noogie.
"Ah! Ow! Bart help me!" Homer cried. Bart just looked around confused.
...
Homer eventually sat on the steps of the town hall dejected. Suddenly a woman cried out for help.
"My baby!"
Her baby in his pram was going down the stairs and heading for the road. The baby was crying.
"Will you stop whining!?" Homer grabbed the baby and held him aloft.
"Oh my! It's a miracle!" said the mother.
"Woohoo!" Homer passed the baby back to her and flew off to heaven.
"There I go! One good deed! Open up!" Homer asked St Peter.
However St Peter was reading a magazine. "Oh I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." said St Peter.
"Hey! I thought you saints were supposed to see everything?!" Homer yelled.
"No, you're thinking of Santa Claus." said St Peter.
"Well, I'll be damned!" Homer sulked.
"Yes I'm afraid so." St Peter pulled a lever and Homer fell all the way down to Hell. He saw the devil, who for some reason wasn't Ned this time. Instead they went for an actual intimidating, scary, titan of a being as the devil.
"Wooooooo! I'm Homer Simpson! Wooooooo!" Homer tried to haunt him.
"Silence sinner! Prepare for an eternity of pain and torture!" bellowed the devil. He suddenly grabbed Homer and gave him a noogie. The devil laughed.
Homer cried and screamed loudly.
"Oh be quiet! You'll wake John Wayne!" said the devil.
"I'm already awake..." said John Wayne. No I have no idea why John Wayne is in hell...
Plot 2
Scary Tales Can Come True
Once upon a time- Oh for the love of crap! They went the whole fairy tale hog with this! (Just narrate Homer...) A poor family lived in a pumpkin.
Bart "Hansel" Simpson was watching the fire when it crackled. He cheered enthusiastically.
"Hmmmm! Bart I wish you wouldn't watch that fire all the time! It's so violent!" said his mom, Marge.
"Mom it's the only form of entertainment in these times." said Bart. A rat then bit him on his leg. "Ow! Aw gee! I just got over the plague!" Bart lamented as blue spots appeared where he was bitten.
Homer came home. "I got fired from my job..."
"Hmmmmm! How are gonna afford to feed the kids now?!" Marge sighed.
"Uh, Mom, we live in a giant pumpkin." Bart explained.
"It's shelter or food. Not both!" Homer retorted.
"Well you could always get a job as the village idiot." said Bart.
"That's a great idea!" said Homer. He ripped a page out of a book Lisa was reading.
"Daaaaaad!" Lisa as Gretel whined.
Homer folded up the page into a cone. He stuck it on his head as a dunce cap. "How do I look?" Homer asked.
"Homer! Don't sit too close to that candle!" Marge warned while Hugo gnawed at the fishbones.
Homer screamed as his hat caught fire and ran about trying to put it out. "Oh what's the use! I'm no good at even being an idiot..." Homer sighed.
Marge sighed.
"I hadn't read that page yet..." Lisa as Gretel growled. Also why are they not Uter's family? That would be hilarious!
"Because that's a stereotype, narrator..." said Lisa.
Uter, somewhere in Springfield rolled his eyes. "I am nicht Hansel..."
...
That night Marge and Homer were talking. Homer had an idea to solve their problems.
The next morning he took Bart and Lisa out into the forest and threw them away.
"Say hi to your other brother and sister!" Homer yelled back.
"Other brother and sister?" Lisa asked. She then screamed when she saw two similar looking skeletons.
"Face it, they're not great parents..." Bart sighed.
Meanwhile at home.
"You threw our babies into the woods?!" Marge yelled.
"It was the only sensible idea I could come up with!" said Homer.
"You can march right back out that door now! And don't return until you've found our kids!" Marge yelled.
Homer sighed as he went back out to find Bart and Lisa.
"If you were gonna do that you ought to have thrown Hugo out!" said Marge.
"You're a real jerk!" Oscar snapped at her.
Marge sighed.
In some adaptations, Hansel collected rocks the night before and laid a trail of them to guide himself and his sister back home.
Also the mom is evil in most adaptations.
It is the second time their wicked stepmother throws them out that he is unable to find pebbles or rocks so he uses bread crumbs. The birds ate the crumbs. So of course Hansel and Gretel got lost.
Then there's straight to VHS cartoon adaptations with unnecessary filler and singing! Aaaaaaaagh!"
Anyway I was correct Lisa as the most common depiction of Hansel and Gretel is two fat German kids...
Uter frowned. Yeah butterball. You're Hansel now.
"I am eine only child!" said Uter.
"Narrator the show's called the Simpsons. Not Die Zörkers..." said Bart.
...
Bart and Lisa explored the forest. They came to a bridge.
"A bridge!" said Lisa, but she stopped him just in time as a troll Moe lunged at him. "Wait! There's a troll under that bridge!"
Moe lunges at Bart.
"Eep!" Bart yelped.
"This book on fairytales will keep us one step ahead." Lisa explained as she took Bart another way.
"Oh great... I came on too strong again..." sighed Troll Moe.
Three male goats arrived. A baby one, a medium one and a huge goat.
Moe as the troll sighed.
They then found a house. Bart wanted to go inside.
"Wait! Let me consult the book!" Lisa ran after him.
"Forget that! I smell porridge!" Yelled Bart.
On a table were three different sized bowls of porridge. There were three different chairs.
"Hmmm, three bowls of porridge..." Lisa flicked through her book of fairytales.
Bart was too busy satisfying his hunger. He tried the big bowl. "Ow! Too hot!" He tried the medium bowl. "Brrr! Too cold!" He then studied the bowls. "Well this doesn't take a genius to work out!" He poured the big bowl's porridge into the medium one of cold porridge. He then messily began slurping it up.
"Oh no! This is the three bears house!" Lisa realised. She dragged Bart away. They hid as the three bears came in humming to teddy bears picnic. Once the coast was clear they escaped the house and locked the bears in with a chair holding the door shut.
"Wait! Where's Goldilocks?" Lisa asked.
"Beats me." Bart shrugged his shoulders.
Goldilocks got up after a restful sleep to find herself in a house with three angry bears. The bears growl at her.
Goldilocks screamed and ran for the door but it was stuck because of the chair Bart put outside. We hear her desperate cries before she's mauled to death and blood seeps from under the door.
"Ay carumba! How will that ever get past the censors?!" Bart yelled.
"It didn't..." Lisa explained. (Screw you Treehouse of Horror VIII censor!)
...
Homer is wandering the forest calling for his kids. "Bart? Lisa..."
"Oh! Bold gentleman! Please rescue me from this tower!" said Rapunzel.
"Hey have you seen two kids wandering around?" Homer asked.
"Oh nobel hero! I can't help you from this wretched tower! Please climb up here and rescue me!" said Rapunzel.
"How am I supposed to do that?!" Homer asked.
"Climb up my hair!" said Rapunzel lowering her extremely long hair.
"Ok..." Homer grabbed her hair and tried to climb up.
Unfortunately he was too heavy and was hurting her. "No wait! Stop! Ooooh!" Rapunzel cried.
We hear her scream and Homer falls to the ground with a bump having ripped out her hair. He nervously kicks it away into the bushes before running away.
Elsewhere Oscar and Hugo were wandering the forest.
Oscar swatted a fairy and killed it.
"Can you not kill the fairies..." Hugo sighed.
Oscar made a rude face at him.
The gingerbread man ran past. "You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man!"
Oscar ran off after him. Giggling madly.
"Oz! Don't run off!" Hugo groaned.
Oscar chased the gingerbread man. He knocked over the seven dwarves.
"Hey watch it! Ya jerk!" They all sounded like the old Jewish guy at the retirement home Abe lives at.
...
Meanwhile. Bart and Lisa came across a gingerbread house. Well at least they're following the story properly, unlike Billy and Mandy...
Billy rolled his eyes as he ran about fairytale land screwing up the stories.
"Oh a gingerbread house! Yum!" said Bart. There was a house made of gingerbread. This is a fairy tale so building compliance laws don't exist so you can make your home out of food...
A witch came out of the house. "Come in children! The best candy is inside!" said the witch.
"Wait! Let me consult the book!" Lisa stopped Bart.
The witch cackled.
"Nowadays instead of a witch there would be a creepy old man living in that gingerbread house." said Oscar.
"I'm going with my stomach." said Bart. They went inside because the story says so!
Eventually the worse case scenario happens. The witch was of course evil and enslaved Lisa to do all her housework and chained Bart up and fed him to fatten him up.
Bart as Hansel sat with his leg in chains eating lots of yummy delicious desserts like gingerbread, Bundt cake, angel food cake, Battenberg, checkerboard cookies, sweet dessert pies...
Bart eating loudly and rudely. Well he lived in poverty as Hansel so I'm not surprised he's hungry.
"Oh this is terrible!" said Lisa. Bart was eating cake and basting himself. "You do realise she's just fattening you up so she can eat you, right?"
"Can't talk, eating." Bart was now eating a cookie. He's also really fat now.
"Well at least stop basting yourself!" Lisa yelled.
Bart eating and basting himself.
"And now can you eat?! You just had the three bears porridge earlier..."
"No talking! More sweeping!" yelled the witch. "It's almost time for your beating!"
"Why are you so bothered about keeping your house clean? It's not like you have a boyfriend..." Bart remarked.
"I do!" said the witch.
"Oh, what's his name?" Lisa sniggered.
"George, (she looks at the cauldron) ... Cauldron." said the witch.
Lisa giggled. "Right... Maybe I can set him up with Eric Ladel!" Bart started laughing too.
The witch got angry. "That's it! Into the oven with you!" She grabbed Lisa and took her to the oven.
Lisa struggled and yelled.
Suddenly Homer bursted through the wall and was eating his way through. "Mmmmm! Sugar wall."
"Dad! You've come to save us!" said Lisa joyfully.
"Save you, fill my stomach... it's all good..." Homer replied. He bit a giant candy cane that was holding up the house.
"Oooooh! That was a load bearing cane! You clumsy oaf!" the witch yelled as the upper floor caved in. "I will make you pay for that!"
"Well, are you gonna or just keep yakking?" Homer replied rudely.
The witch zapped him. His lower half became a chicken's butt and legs, his head became a fish, he grew bunny rabbit ears and finally his arms became brooms.
"Cool! Why don't we ever learn that at magic school?!" Bart asked.
"You do! You just never pay attention in class brat!" said the witch. Homer was sweeping the place.
"Well, is that all? Huh?!" Homer ranted as he scratched the floor with his chicken feet. The witch grabbed him and forced his head into the oven.
"Mmmmm! I smell fish!" said Homer. "Oh wait that's me!" He realised.
The doorbell rang.
"Just a minute!" said the witch. However Homer broke out of her grip and grabbed the hag before shoving her in the oven and locking her in.
"Oh no! Let me out! I couldn't be in anymore pain! Ooooooooh!" Cried the witch before she died. Her magic except for giving Homer a chicken butt was undone instantly.
Lisa answered the door. There was a man dressed smartly for a date with flowers.
"I'm George Cauldron. Is Suzanne ready yet?" asked George.
"Give her about five minutes on gas mark 6..." said Homer. He turned up the oven and they all giggled.
"But the concert is starting! We'll be late!" said George checking his pocket watch.
...
And so the Simpsons were still poor but they never went hungry ever again.
"Anyone want an omelette?" Marge asked.
"I do!" Bart replied.
"Coming right up!" said Homer. He then made pained noises like he was trying to take a dump as he laid an egg.
The end.
"That raises so many awkward questions..." Lisa rolled her eyes at the subject of Homer laying eggs...
Plot 3
Night of the Dolphin
(Note. Stars a five year old Oscar again. This time being rather silly about dolphins.)
The Simpsons and Oscar were at Sea world.
"Well this should be fun kids. We get to watch the dolphins swim and perform for us." said Marge.
Oscar squealed. "Haaaaaauuuuw! Dolphas! Dolpha!"
Bart groaned. "Mom..."
Lisa thought the show was cruel. Because she's for animal rights and welfare etc.
Snorky the dolphin was leaping about.
The announcer allowed everyone to go swimming with Snorky. The crowd all jumped in at once squashing poor Snorky. Lisa was horrified.
After everyone left for the gift shop Lisa stayed behind to talk to Snorky. "You poor thing..."
Snorky looked longingly at the ocean where wild dolphins were playing.
"You want to be free with your friends..." Lisa sighed. Snorky nodded.
Lisa looked around. She then climbed up to the gate keeping Snorky in his pool. She opened it. However this set off an alarm.
"The dolphin is escaping! Stop him!" Yelled a guard. The guards had guns.
"Quick! Swim!" Lisa told Snorky. He dived deep below the water. Lisa ran along the rocks encouraging him. Snorky then leapt to freedom like Free Willy. But he hit his tail in Lisa's face.
"Eeeeeew!" groaned Lisa as it felt wet and slimy.
Snorky then swam to freedom.
"That girl lost us our most valuable dolphin! Arrest her!" said the head guard.
"Eep!" yelped Lisa as she was arrested.
...
Meanwhile in the gift shop.
Oscar was swimming in the dolphin plushies and screaming "Dolpha! Dolpha!" And occasionally hugging the plushies.
"Errr, shouldn't he be on very strong medication? Or a leash?" Bart gulped.
"Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
"Attention Marge Simpson! Your daughter has been arrested!" said the tannoy. Everyone gasped and stared at Marge.
"What is up with her children?!" said the same mother from Itchy and Scratchy Land when Bart was arrested.
...
The ride home, Marge was very disappointed in Lisa.
"Lisa, I know your heart was in the right place, but did you have to get yourself in trouble?"
"Yes Mom. And I'd be proud to do it again! There was that time I once threw paint over Krusty's fur coat!" Lisa replied.
"Hmmmm! We all remember that dear..." Marge sighed,
Oscar was asleep hugging his dolphin plushie.
...
Shortly after Lisa released him, Snorky was reunited with other dolphins.
"How was your dreadful imprisonment, your majesty?" asked the dolphins in squeaks.
"Terrible. They made me do circus tricks for fish!" said King Snorky.
"Can you ever forget this appalling treatment?" asked a dolphin.
"No!" said King Snorky in squeaks. "Listen up..." He had a plan for revenge. A crab eavesdropped on their conversation and was horrified.
...
That night Oscar was hitting Bart with his dolphin plushie while squealing "Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!"
"Mom! Make him stop!" Bart groaned.
"Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
"Oscar beddy byes! Come on I'll tuck you in." Marge took Oscar to his room.
However Oscar stayed up late hitting his bedroom window with his dolphin plushie while going "Dolpha!" every time someone went past the house.
...
Meanwhile Lenny was night swimming and drinking alcohol when he was surrounded by what he thought were shark fins.
"Ah! Sharks! Tigers of the sea!"
However he was relieved to find they were just dolphins.
"Ah dolphins... clowns of the sea..."
However the dolphins bit him and slapped him before forcing him under.
The next morning Lenny was found dead on the beach. Wiggum identified his injuries caused by blow hole burns and being prodded with bottle noses.
...
The following night the dolphins invaded! An army swam onto the beach lead by King Snorky. They marched across the beach on their tails while making silly squeaking noises. (Seriously it's funny!) A dolphin got stuck in a volleyball net and Snorky had to rescue him. (And slap him for being stupid)
"You chowder head!" King Snorky yelled in dolphin squeaks and whistles.
Captain McCallister sensed something odd about the dolphins but was eaten alive by them.
King Snorky wore the dead captain's hat and held his pipe in his mouth and was doing silly impressions of a cartoon sea captain. The dolphins laughed evilly.
...
Eventually the deaths reached the news.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! A spate of killings has been caused by killer bottle nosed-" Kent was interrupted by a camera man yelping. The dolphins were holding him hostage. "I mean killer bottle nosed Italians!"
"I knew it! I knew it was those Italians!" Homer yelled at the TV.
"It's dolphins!" Kent whispered. "If we whisper I don't think they can hear us!" A dolphin killed him with a beach ball by bouncing it hard at his head.
"Oh my! Homer you better check on Grampa!" Marge gasped.
Homer phoned his dad. However there was no answer.
Meanwhile. A dolphin was trying to swallow Abe whole.
"I'll give your liver such a kicking!" Abe yelled as he was being swallowed.
"He's fine." Homer decided despite not getting an answer.
...
Around town people were being killed by dolphins!
Homer went to Krusty Burger to get some lunch, but Squeaky Voiced Teen's head fell into his car as the dolphins were obviously killing him.
"Trying to get off work huh?!" Homer said to Squeaky voiced Teen's head.
Bart and Lisa we're walking about town when they saw Jimbo being killed by dolphins.
Lisa winced. "I think we have a serious problem with the dolphins..."
"Dolpha! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
Bart groaned frustrated.
The town eventually held an emergency meeting about the dolphins.
"I told you it was the dolphins!" yelled Willie.
However a dolphin flew through the window and through Willie, impaling him. "Ach! Is this a kill Willie episode this year?!" Willie then died.
More dolphins poured into the town hall and King Snorky chased off Mayor Quimby.
King Snorky addressed the crowd.
They gasped.
"Haaaaaauw! Dolpha!" Oscar squealed.
"Surely it can't speak?!" said Sideshow Mel.
"Snorky... Talk." said King Snorky in a high pitched voice. Then he coughed and started speaking in a normal voice.
"Years ago Dolphins used to live on the land." said King Snorky.
"Whattya he say?" asked Jasper.
"He said dolphins used to live on the land!" said Sherri and Terri's grandmother.
"But then your ancestors forced us into the sea!" said King Snorky.
"But you seemed so happy in the sea!" Lisa replied. "You wanted me to release you!" People booed Lisa.
"No! It's cold and wet! And someone keeps dumping their rubbbish in there!" said King Snorky. "I nearly chocked on a beer can ring once!"
"That'll be us I'm afraid!" Lisa said with a nervous laugh.
"That was you?!" King Snorky gasped. Lisa nodded sadly. "That's it! Dolphins will now takeover the land! And we banish you humans to the sea like you banished us!"
Everyone walked out the hall to find dolphins everywhere! Like a scene from the birds by Alfred Hitchcock.
There were also two dolphins by a small yellow cartoon car. I'm not sure what the heck that is supposed to be a reference to. The dolphin leaning on the car was flipping a coin.
Bart winced.
"Haaaaaauuuw! Dolphas! Dolpha! Dol-" Oscar squealed at the dolphins again...
"CRAM IT!" Bart snapped at him.
Lisa saw a baby dolphin sad with a beer six pack ring stuck on its snout.
"Awww! You poor thing!" Lisa took the ring off the dolphin. It bit her. "Ow! Sonnuva!" she yelled.
"Hey! Listen up! Are we just gonna let these fish eating dolphins just boss us around?!" Homer asked. Everyone murmured. "Come on people! We lived here long before the dolphins and we'll be here long afterwards! Let's fight!"
Everyone cheered and a fight broke out between humans and dolphins. Apu was being slapped by a dolphin, Comic Book Guy was having his head slammed in a door and Homer was being beaten up by a dolphin until Bart shot a rock into his blowhole killing him.
"That's it! Aim for their blow holes Bart!" said Lisa.
Meanwhile Oscar was riding on a dolphin and hitting him with his dolphin plushie. "Bad dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha! Dolpha!"
"Someone get this kid off me!" the dolphin said in squeaks.
...
However eventually the dolphins won and banished everyone to the sea. The Simpsons were floating on their couch in the ocean.
"I can't believe I doomed humanity..." Lisa sighed.
"Don't feel bad dear... the dolphins obviously wanted the land more than us..." Marge explained.
A dead Krusty floated past. Marge made a disgusted sound and pushed him away. We zoom out to find all the bodies spell out "The End?"
Trivia In Scary Tales Can Come True where the witch is putting Lisa in the oven there was supposed to be a long chain of very disrespectful political/religious jokes but I can't post that here so I'll have to post an uncensored version elsewhere.
Deleted scene
During the dolphin fight there was a deleted scene where Moe Blows up a dolphin with dynamite and Grampa Simpson stands amongst the dolphin guts. He is baffled by what's happening. Then he starts fighting the dolphins with karate. In another deleted scene. At the water park when everyone crams in the water tank with Snorky Ralph sticks his finger in Snorky's blowhole.
"He likes it Daddy!" said Ralph with dolphin snot on his finger.
"Let's get that hand washed..." said Chief Wiggum taking his son to the bathroom.
In Ghost Dad, Homer's ghost ascends to heaven. A plane wet through him. "Watch where you're flying asshole!" When Homer goes to eat the broccoli again he sees his family mourning him and crying. Bart is crying.
"Oh! Be brave my boy!" Homer is touched he is mourning him.
"Oh Krusty! Why did you have to move to channel six?! Why?!" Bart cries.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.