Super Nintendo Chalmers The school gets it's first computers so it can finally have IT lessons. Meanwhile Ralph has difficulty saying people's names correctly. Elsewhere Marge accidentally rips the corn cob curtains of the kitchen window when they get stuck in the food disposal. And takes Homer all the way to Ogdenville to get them, all the while he is trying to invent chocolate Duff after Apu told him such a thing doesn't exist.
Plot
On a school archeological dig the second graders are digging when Ralph finds something.
"Prepimcible Skimmed milk! I found something!" said Ralph.
Skinner tried to explain to Ralph his name was Principal Skinner as he went to look at what Ralph found. He found a dinosaur!
"A tyrannosaurus skeleton!" Skinner gasped.
Ralph screamed and ran off frightened.
"Coooool!" said Hugo Simpson.
"I found another angel!" said Lisa. "But this is a statue and it looks brand new..." we find Lisa's angel statue she's dug up is a Weeping Angel from Doctor Who.
Oscar screams when he sees it. "Aaaaaagh! Lisa! Don't blink! Don't look away and don't blink!"
Bart winced at Oscar's silly Doctor Who references while putting sand down Martin's shorts as he slept.
Hugo was singing I've been working on the rail road while digging.
"I've been working on the rail road! All the live long daaaaay! (Singing and humming)"
"Hugo express your self through hard labour! No singing!" Skinner scolded him.
Hugo sulked and stopped singing.
Meanwhile the school got its first computers being installed. Willie thought they were witchcraft though.
"I'm telling ya Skinner! Those machines are evil! Eviiiiil!" said Willie.
Eventually the second graders cane back and Ralph was the first student to test the computers.
"Wow! Impressive!" Lisa was admiring the really old Windows 95 computers.
"Hi Lisa, Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!" said Ralph as he was playing on a spelling programme.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Super Nintendo..."
Chalmers gave Ralph a weird look as if to say, "What did you just call me?!"
Eventually everyone started having IT/Computer lab classes.
Oscar kept shutting his computer down to hear the Windows 95 fanfare.
Dah dah daaaah! It played for the umpteenth time in the lesson.
"Dah dah daaaaaah!" Oscar mimicked it.
"Oscar Tamaki... stop shutting down your computer to play that sound..." Mrs Krabappel sighed.
However Bart was annoyed all the fun websites were blocked by a firewall.
"That's because they have been deemed forbidden Bart." Martin replied.
Bart asked discreetly if he could get past the firewall.
"Yes, but that would be against the school rules!" Martin explained.
"I'll give you five bucks!" Bart bribed him.
"Okay!" Martin agreed to shut off the firewall by hacking. "And... Hey presto!" The Itchy and Scratchy website came up. Everyone yelled in disgust and puked at the gory website.
"Thanks Martin!" Bart sat at the hacked computer and watched Itchy and Scratchy cartoons all lesson.
"Martin can you unlock Pornhub for me?" Oscar asked.
"Eeeeeeew! Oz... no!" Bart groaned.
At second grade. Miss Hoover's class. Ralph was up the front telling a story.
"When the doctor said... I didn't have worms anymore, that was the happiest day... of my life." said Ralph. Eeeeew!
"Thank you, Ralph, very graphic." said Miss Hoover.
In third grade.
Oscar was scooting across the classroom floor on his butt with a pained expression on his face.
"Oz... do you have worms again..." Ace the vampire sighed exasperated.
Later in mixed grades charms class at Springwarts.
Lisa sighed as Bart made a rude face at her in class.
"Manzana Banana!" Oscar yelled casting a spell on Milhouse with his wand. Milhouse's head turned into a banana like that bit in Treehouse of Horror XII.
"Oz don't zap Milhouse..." Bart sighed.
Hugo was writing notes and studying.
A kid called Goofy Carl was eating paper.
Bart winced exasperated.
"Class please pay attention." said Miss Hoover who doubles as a charms teacher at Springwarts for the Barry Trotter episodes.
...
At Apu's store Homer annoys Apu by offering his god, Ganesh a peanut again.
"Hey Ganesh, wanna peanut?" Homer asked Ganesh.
"Mr Simpson stop offering my god a peanut!" Apu said annoyed.
"You let me though!" Said the squishee lady.
"Yea Becuase we were in a relationship!" Apu said
"Yeah well when God was handing out religions you must have been taking a snoozefest or a whiz Apu..." said Homer insulting his faith.
Apu seethed.
"You worship a freakin' elephant headed man..." said Homer.
Okay let's move on Homer...
He then makes an impossible request for chocolate Duff.
"I'm sorry Mr Simpson but such a thing doesn't exist!" Apu explained.
"Really? I could have sworn I heard of it last night!" Homer replied.
"Perhaps in a dream, Mr Simpson. Now that'll be 6 dollars and ninety nine cents please!" Apu asked.
"All my dreams involve Kali. Kali maaaaaa..." said Oscar invoking Kali.
"Enough of this blasphemy!" Apu shouted.
Homer and Oscar were startled.
But only for a little while.
"Blasphemy eh? That reminds me of when Japanese Sora Perse from Yugioh would call upon the powers of Satan to summon his fusion monsters." said Oscar.
"Demonic claws. Become one with the devil apostle and show us you new powerful form! Fusion summon! Come out! Sea devil that steal freedom and pulls everything into the darkest depths of the sea. Des-Toy Piton Kraken!" Sora in Japanese summoning Frightfur Kraken.
Oscar winced. "Um Japanese Yuya... he's invoking Satan..."
Yuya looked worried and concerned.
Back at the Kwik e Mart Homer winced.
On the way to Homer's pink car.
"So how was school?" Homer asked.
"Well..." said Oscar drinking a Squishee. More insanity happened!
Science lesson at Ms McConnell's class.
"Okay class we'll be learning about Einstein's equation, E = MC squared." said Ms McConnell.
"Booooooooo! We don't want MC squared! We want MC Hammer!" Oscar jeered.
"You leave me outta this! I'm trying to get my B.A!" said MC Hammer.
"Yeah. Your B.A Baracus!" Oscar quipped snickering.
"That's it! I'll kill you!" MC Hammer tried to kill him.
"Nah nananah nah nah! Can't touch this!" Oscar rapped while being strangled.
Jurkle was baffled and exasperated as he grimaced staring bug eyed at this moment.
The present.
"Um... okay..." said Homer driving Oscar home.
"And then I turned Milhouse's head into a banana." said Oscar giggling.
"Uh huh..." Homer had since lost interest in Oscar's silly antics at school.
Along the way they stopped at Lard Lads.
Homer wanted a bear claw.
"STOP EATING TEDDY'S HANDS!" Oscar yelled.
"Not that kind of bear claw, Oz..." Homer sighed.
And Japanese Yuya was trying to perform an exorcism on Japanese Sora.
"(Yuya yelling the power of Christ compels you! in Japanese)"
Oscar winced exasperated.
They left the Lard Lads.
"Oooooooh! They gave me a bagel! The anti donut..." Homer groaned.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
When they got home.
"And then I saw a delightful sparrow!" said Martin talking about birds again.
"That's it we're outta here... come on Oz." Bart left while dragging Oscar by his sweater collar.
...
Bart Simpson was riding on his skateboard. "So Oscar um... what did you dream about last night?" What an odd question!
"I dreamt that Madeline Albright was force feeding me grilled cheese sandwiches. Then she turned into a cat..." said Oscar.
"Uh... okay... forget I asked..." Bart winced.
"You know, the fashion world isn't so great. It's a bunch of self-serving, shallow tramps who starve themselves and backstab each other for expensive clothes no self-respecting person would be caught dead in." Oscar ranted.
"So... You like wearing a tacky, itchy sweater your grandma probably knitted you..." Bart groaned.
"I knitted this myself! Well actually I think Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls made me this. Woooooo sweaters!" said Oscar.
Bart sighed.
They meet Willie admiring himself in a mirrored store window.
"This isn't too bad, this little tartan number." said Willie admiring his kilt and Tam o'shanter.
Bart winced embarrassed.
"Go Freddy Krueger Willie again!" said Oscar.
"Ach! Shoo ya wee bairns!" said Willie.
Anyway at this point in canon Nibbles the school hamster makes an appearance and has to deal with lewd comments from Skinner and Willie.
"Quick! Nibbles chew threw my ball sack!" For context Skinner was trapped in the dodgeball sack.
Nibbles the hamster looked confused and disturbed by such a request.
"Haaaaaaauuuw! Nibbles Hammy ham!" Oscar squealed picking up the hamster ball with Nibbles inside.
Bart groaned embarrassed.
"Boys this charade has gone on long enough!" said Skinner still trapped in the dodgeball sack.
Bart laughed at him.
Camel Lisa honked.
Then Bart accidentally skated and fell head first into an open sewer manhole and then I fudged up the story.
Bart's lower half upside down was wriggling about frantically.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Nelson laughed. "Haw Haw!"
Lisa who was now there too, sighed embarrassed.
Nelson offered her flowers.
"No! I will not go out with you!" Lisa replied.
Down in the sewer the Ninja turtles were trying to play poker but were distracted by Bart stuck in the manhole doubling as a skylight.
"Dude! That was our sunlight!" said Michelangelo.
"Santa?" said Raphael. Yes I know in the eighties Mikey was the silly one. In the crap reboots Raph is the silly one, or sometimes Donny.
Oscar and Nelson pulled Bart out of the manhole.
"That was embarrassing. I feel like killing my self." Bart sighed.
Oscar cried.
Bart groaned.
At home Hugo was reading a Terry Pritchett book. One of characters was talking about elves and their granny said elves have no empathy.
Young Link glared at the Granny. "We do too! Well maybe not the Christmas elves..."
Hugo winced.
In the sewers. Oscar climbed down the manhole ladder.
"Oz don't bother the Ninja Turtles..." said Lisa.
"Lisa don't acknowledge his stupid cameos!" Bart yelled.
"As Greek Oscar or Baby Oscar I can do all sorts of things down here. Get eaten by sewer gators, have pizza with the ninja turtles... meet sewer clowns..." said Oscar.
"Oz get outta there... I wanna get home..." said Bart.
Plot 2
At home, Homer is trying to concoct chocolate Duff by mixing drinking chocolate with Duff but can't get it right. Marge sighed as he was in the kitchen mixing drinking chocolate and a can of Duff beer together to make a concoction. He was tasting it.
"Hmmmmm... no that's not right..." He muttered.
Marge sighed.
Meanwhile Marge is in the kitchen washing the dishes when the corn cob printed curtains get stuck in the food disposal as it tried to eat them.
"Aaaaaaah! Homer quickly! Pull em out! Pull em out!" Marge yelled.
Homer got on the kitchen sides and tried to pull the curtains out of the garbage shredder. But it would not let go.
"I'm trying Marge! I'm trying! Stupid thing won't let go!"
"Ooooooh!" Marge lamented.
"Ooooooh! Stupid garbage disposal! Stupid corn cob curtains!" Homer grunted.
"My corn cob curtains are not stupid!" Marge said annoyed. "I made them myself! And I'm rather fond of them!
Eventually what was left of the curtains, shredded remains were retrieved.
"Ooooooh! Now I'll have to get new ones..." Marge sighed.
"May I suggest some tin foil curtains?" Homer asked exhausted.
"Absolutely not!" Marge replied finding the suggestion ridiculous.
Oscar came in singing.
He was singing Lime in the coconut.
"You're insane!" Milhouse who was visiting Bart, yelled.
"No, just stupid." said Bart rolling his eyes.
Oscar glared at Bart. "Hey shaddup!"
"Boys, don't argue..." Marge sighed.
"An Oz what the deuce was with that part where I fell into an open sewer?!" Bart asked.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "That was hilarious! Until you tried to commit suicide."
Nelson was baffled and itching to beat someone up.
"Also I have Stanley, my ferret again." said Oscar carrying a ferret.
...
Marge went to the attic to find some more Corn Cob material to make more curtains. But she had ran out as only a tiny scrap of material was left. Meanwhile spot the Ringo Starr paintings the I Didn't do it t shirts hanging up, a golden B Sharps record and Hugo pulling faces in the background.
"Ooooooh! Fiddlesticks! We've ran out from all the previous times the kitchen curtains got destroyed..."
"Like when Bart used his psychic powers on the cat to turn her into a fire breathing monster?" Hugo asked.
"Yes dear. Now stop pouting. This is the family attic as well as your bedroom..." Marge sighed.
In the kitchen.
Marge was concerned about how to get new curtains for the kitchen windows.
"Marge do we have any chocolate flavoured beer?" Homer asked looking in the fridge.
"Homer there's no such thing..." said Marge.
Homer groaned.
"Oh dear... Homer we need to get to the store to buy some new curtains for the kitchen window!" Marge explained.
Homer was drinking his chocolate Duff concoction. "Do we really need curtains?" He asked. However suddenly everyone in Springfield, particularly Moe, Sea Captain, Snake Jailbird, Sideshow Bob and a cow were at the kitchen window staring in. Homer screamed.
Marge made an order for corn cob material.
The next day it arrived as Marge is taking a package from a lady postman.
"Female carrier Oz..." Lisa sighed.
However Marge didn't get right material as she was insistent upon getting corn cob printed material.
First she got carrot printed material. She didn't want that and Lisa's rabbit wanted to eat the curtains.
The next sample was cans of corn as the pictures on the curtains.
"Oh very funny..." Marge sighed annoyed at the sarcasm the artist who made the curtains must have been trying to put across.
Then someone sent a model Taj Mahal.
"That's not even close to what I asked for!" Marge said annoyed.
Homer on each day that passed with the carrot, canned corn and Taj Mahal model arriving was making chocolate beer.
Marge was annoyed and to take it out on Homer and his disinterested view of her curtain emergency, dragged him off to buy new curtain material.
"That's it. There's a Weaver's warehouse in town! Come on Homer!" Pause. "You too Santa's Little Helper!" She added taking the dog by his collar.
They went off, forgetting one thing... The kids.
"Cool! They left us behind!" said Bart joyfully. Lisa sighed and went to her room.
Oscar went to watch TV. A celebrity fly on the wall show about their lives type thing was on. Apparently it was about Britney Spears.
"WAKE UP BRITNEY! THE DOG WAS PISSING ON THE BED!" Her estranged husband or boyfriend yelled. He got custody of the kids when she whacked a car with a green umbrella.
"Leave Britney alone!" Chris Crocker cried.
...
Marge made things difficult. You see she didn't just want curtains, she wanted corn cob printed ones. Unfortunately no one had any, one store had corn dog printed ones and that was it,
"Ugh! No way!" Marge didn't approve of the design. They would have to go to Ogdenville.
Homer screamed as he hated Ogdenville.
Marge had to fight with him to get in the car like he was an overgrown toddler.
"No! Not Ogdenville! Noooooo!" Homer cried.
Marge sighed.
"Homer get in the car!"
"If maize or corn has ears, can it hear us?" Oscar asked.
"Oscar how did you get here?" Marge asked.
"I am everywhere at once to tell the story." said Oscar.
Marge sighed.
Homer spent most of the trip being very rude about the locals there and drinking his experimental chocolate Duff mixture.
"Homer the least I can do as a mother is keep a roof over our head, three square meals and decent curtains on the windows!" Marge nagged at Homer.
Homer didn't say anything else.
"And keeping me dressed in cute sweaters." Oscar blushed hugging himself as he loves his sweaters.
Springfield penitentiary.
Sideshow Bob was arguing with someone. Probably Ice Pick.
"Oh Really? Well who's dumber me or the one who takes a nap next to some crazy murderer?" Sideshow Bob ranted.
"Do I need to remind you that you were that murderer?" said the inmate who was in for multiple counts of GBH.
Snake sat in his cell rolled his eyes.
"Dudes! Can you shut up!" Snake groaned.
Elsewhere Nibbles was eating a sunflower seed.
"Well Nibbles that was an awful situation." said Skinner.
Yeah now stop making lewd comments.
...
Bart decide to skateboard indoors with a rope tied round him and the other end around the ceiling fan.
"Bart! Don't!" Lisa yelled.
Oscar switched it on and Bart was pulled around the house on his skateboard scratching everything up and leaving scuff marks everywhere. However rope soon ran out and he was pulled off his skateboard and pulled slowly up towards the ceiling fan...
The fan turned into a clown's face in his imagination. "I'm gonna kill ya boy!" said the clown before laughing.
"Ahhh! Having clown visions! Oscar turn it off!" Bart yelled.
Oscar switched off the ceiling fan. Bart eventually untied himself and untangled the rope from the ceiling fan. He decided never to do that again. At least not until a much later episode.
Later he was smug because he found someone who shared his sense of humour. Hugo.
"See? Hugo thinks I'm funny!" Oscar stated.
"Statistically, I suppose someone has to." Bart sighed.
"This is boring... blow something up..." Nelson sighed. He was visiting before the curtain incident.
Milhouse winced.
"How about Diapee time with my teddy bear?" Oscar suggested.
"Hell no!" Bart yelled.
Oscar sulked. "How about we look at my ferret's feet. His claws stick out when you squeeze 'em." Stanley's claws stuck out.
"Eeeeeeeew!" The kids groaned.
"That's so creepy!" Lisa groaned.
At school. Skinner was patrolling the halls. "Lewis tuck in your shirt, Ralph, do up your shoe laces before you trip over."
"Okay Primsipple Skimmed Milk!" said Ralph.
Skinner was baffled by his mispronunciations of his name.
The Simpsons house. Oscar was lounging on the couch, "It's nice to have guests over..."
Ace was hissing at everyone and baring his fangs.
...
At a mall in Ogdenville Marge and Homer still have no luck.
Marge found a corncob pipe material with little corncob pipes on it.
"Close but no cigar."
Homer was drinking his chocolate beer concoction and being rude to the Ogdenville people calling them snooty with high and mighty attitudes.
"Oh Homie stop whining..." said Marge finding another roll of Corn Dog printed material. "Ugh! No way."
"Mmmmm! Corn dogs!" said Oscar moaning and drooling.
Oscar who was there to narrate. Was overjoyed to find a curtain material that matched the design on his sweater. Sky blue material with green triangles with black outlines.
"It's beautiful! Marge can we have this design? Huh? Can we?" Oscar asked tugging on her green dress to get her attention as he pointed to the material that matched the design of his blue sweater with green triangles.
"Absolutely not!" said Marge.
Oscar pouted annoyed.
However someone shady drops a fragment printed with corn cobs.
"Come on Homer!" Marge ran after the shady individual.
They were led to a black market hidden at the back of the store.
"Earwigs! Eyelids! It's a black market!" said Marge.
"Forget the black market Marge. Look at all the illegal stuff they're selling!" said Homer.
Meanwhile at home Bart played about by smooshing mustard sachets under the piano again while singing Jingle Bells.
"Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle bells!" He sung in a stilted manner as he smooshed mustard sachets with a hammer.
Oscar laughed.
"What shall we do next Oz?" Bart asked.
"Drink beer!" said Oscar.
"No.. I don't want to be sick again..." said Bart.
"Oh! I know! Let's get naked!" Oscar suggested.
"No! Absolutely no way!" said Bart.
"I want to be naked!" Oscar screamed angrily.
Bart sighed.
"I agree with Oz." said Milhouse.
Bart glared at him.
"Marge look!" Homer gasped. There was a display selling chocolate Duff.
"Oh my!" Marge gasped.
Eventually they found a merchant selling rolls of corncob printed material.
"I'll take a couple of meters." said Marge.
"Sorry, either buy the whole roll or nothing." said the merchant.
Marge brought the whole roll since it was extremely cheap anyway.
However the problem was what to do with the extra material.
Later at home everyone was wearing clothes printed with corncobs. They didn't approve of their new clothes.
"Gee these are rather cor-" said Bart.
"Don't say it!" Lisa interrupted him.
"Mmmmm! Chocolate Duff..." said Homer.
Hugo sighed.
Plot 3
Later.
"If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong. I love my children equally." said Homer to his kids.
(flashback to this morning) "I don't care for Hugo." said Homer earlier.
Hugo muttering headed up to the attic wearing spare corncob curtain fabric as a t shirt and shorts.
Bart Simpson is in the attic with Hugo Simpson.
He is laying down in a sleeping bag and a blanket (he is holding a bowling ball and a bowling ball is in the process of being rolled in Bart's arms) and his backpack is at his feet.
Hugo: Hey Bart! What are you doing?
Bart: I'm thinking about something really important. Bart was absent minded,y holding the bowling ball.
Hugo: Oh, I saw you eating a pound of snow cookies last night.
Bart: That was like 5 minutes ago.
Bart winced. is my brother forgetful?!
Hugo: Well, that's what happens when you forget to eat anything.
Bart was concerned for him.
Bart: I'm so stressed out! Mom thinks I don't do my homework, so I'm going to end up in juvie!
Hugo: Relax, you can always escape back into cartoons!
Bart winced. Watching cartoons as much as he loved them, was not the answer.
Bart: GOSH! You're weird.
Hugo: So are you!
Bart: I'm not weird.
Hugo: And you're weird too.
Bart: NO! I'M NOT! I'm so stressed out!
Hugo: That's why you're weird.
Bart: I AM NOT WEIRD! YOU ARE!
Hugo: And you're smart.
Hugo smirked predicting Bart's one way answers.
Bart: No! YOU ARE!
Hugo: And I'm funny!
Bart: No! YOU ARE!
Hugo cracked up laughing
Hugo: Got ya!
Bart seethed.
Hugo: ...
Bart: Okay, no more arguments from me! You're weird!
After a minute of analyzing Bart and trying to get him to not be "weird", Hugo asks him:
Hugo: So, what's the big deal? Why are you so stressed out?
Bart: I have math homework! I was supposed to do it yesterday, but I didn't have any pencils.
Hugo: Okay, I'm glad you didn't just throw away your pen so you could go back to watching cartoons.
Bart: Yeah, well, I couldn't find my pencil.
Hugo: That's pretty lame.
Bart: I didn't have any graph paper.
Hugo: That's ridiculous.
Bart: I couldn't get online to order it.
Hugo: You can't get online at school to order graph paper?
Bart: No. You have to buy it at the store.
Hugo: WHAT?
Bart: Yeah.
Hugo: Well, I'm sure your teacher would let you put off your homework if you were really sick.
Bart: No!
Hugo: You're always eating stuff that isn't good for you.
Bart baffled. Bart: Uh no! That's you! Last week you ate a dog food can lid!
...
Downstairs.
"The most epic thing is Wendy's at 4 am." said Homer.
Marge sighed.
"Do they have chocolate pudding?" Oscar asked.
"No. why?" Homer asked.
"For Stu Pickles when he loses control of his life..." said Oscar.
Homer winced exasperated.
"Wendy's is open at 4 am? ...I could use some spicy nuggets right now tho..." said Milhouse.
"Wendy's doesn't appreciate my sense of humour..." said Oscar.
At Wendy's.
"Can I take your order sir?" a high school drop out asked Oscar.
"Yeah what is your version of a regular Krusty Burger?" Oscar asked.
"Dave's Single." said the drop out at the till.
Oscar smirked. "He sure is!"
...
Bart's room
"Anyhoo. Do you think Super Nintendo Chalmers is a European SNES or an American SNES?" Oscar.
"American, definitely American." said Milhouse.
"But the American SNES is ugly!" Oscar whined.
"Guys we are not calling Chalmers Super Nintendo Chalmers..." Bart groaned.