Dumb Dumbs and Dragons II: Eye of the beholder More Table top RPGs, references to the Dungeon and Dragons movie with Richard O'Brien and Edward Tudor Pole. And Señor Chang wrecks Lisa's RP this time by being racist.
Plot
Chalkboard gag is. "I will not surprise the incontinent." An incontinent person can't hold their bladder or bowels.
"Boo!" Bart yelled at Oscar.
Oscar screamed then winced as he shat himself.
"Oh thanks Bart! I wasn't even wearing my diapers today! I've fudged my underwear!" Oscar yelled.
"Eeeeeeew!" Bart groaned.
...
Continuing on from the events of the last episode. Lisa was still trying to find a cleric.
"I'll be the cleric. Since I was an auxiliary character last few rounds when Bart took shortcuts." said Oscar.
"Okay then that's settled." said Lisa.
"Hold it. Oz did you get changed and cleaned up after Bart spooked you in the chalkboard gag and caused you to mess yourself?" Hugo asked.
"Yes. And as a precaution I am wearing a diaper instead of underwear." said Oscar.
"Oz, clerics don't wear diapers... except maybe Gandhi..." said Lisa.
"I still don't like him getting into this...what if he gets addicted? Or confuses fantasy with reality and hurts himself?!" said Hugo.
Lisa couldn't answer. She hoped none of those scenarios happened.
Meanwhile Leela was wearing a shock collar and having dinner with her mutant parents in the sewers, Zoidberg came along annoying her with his bad eating habits.
Suddenly Bender crashed the dinner while insane thinking dungeons and dragons was real. He fired forks at Zoidberg.
"I cast a spell of fireball!" Bender breathed alcohol fumes through a candle producing a big fireball that set Mr and Mrs Turunga's house on fire.
"Oh no! The house is on fire!" said Leela.
Fry then arrived carrying a carton of milk.
"Has anyone seen Bender? Also smell this milk!"
Bender was laughing maniacally.
Fry grabbed a ladle. "I cast a freeze ray!"
"Fry there's no such thing... do ya mean a cone of coldness?" Bender sighed.
"Yes! A cone of coldness!" said Fry.
"Nooooooo! Fancy men of titanium are weak against cold and ice! No! Nooooooo! (Jabbering)" Bender went stiff and fainted.
"Nooooooooo! When will you learn that playing dungeons and dragons isn't cool!" Fry cried.
"Hey!" Gary Gygax yelled. "Space time continuum defence force! Attack!" Gary Gygax, Al Gore, Lt. Uhura from Star Trek and Professor Stephen Hawkings attacked Fry for insulting the good game of dungeons and dragons.
...
Hal institute for criminally insane robots. New New York, 3010 AD.
The Planet Express Crew, the Simpsons, Princess Bean, Luci, Elfo and Prince Derek went to visit Bender who is incarcerated because he thinks Dungeons and Dragons is real.
"No Author! No Disenchantment! It doesn't exist yet!" Bart groaned.
Project Medieval aka Disenchantment characters vanished.
"We should incarcerate Oscar until he gets over his Dungeons and Dragons obsession..." Hugo muttered.
"How dare you!" Oscar snapped. "How would you like it Hugey, if I let Homer lock you up in the attic again?!"
"Okay I'm sorry! But your confusion with what is make believe and what is real is obnoxious and I fear you'll get yourself in serious trouble or danger, like when you chased after a hippy wagon thinking it was a dragon!" said Hugo.
"Confusing fantasy with reality never was a problem for Christians..." said Oscar smirking.
"Ha! Good one Oz!" Hugo laughed.
"Hrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm!" Marge grumbled annoyed.
The plasma globe headed robot interviewing patients at the robot insane asylum unfortunately and cruelly zapped patients for infractions. Ie Bender still insisting he was Titanius, a robot thinking he was napoleon, Roberto just being Roberto...
Then Cubert's D12 dice turned out to be the legendary dark matter dodecahedron that was created to fuel star ships for far longer than dark matter. Aka Nibbler poop.
And there was an anti Dark matter dodecahedron that would render all dark matter useless if it ever came in contact with the dark matter dodecahedron.
"So Nibbler's poop just becomes useless poop..." said Oscar.
"Precisely." said Professor Farnsworth.
"Why would you want to wreck the economy and render millions of space craft grounded?" Hugo asked.
"Mom has a monopoly on dark matter and she's withholding supply to drive up profits." said Amy Wong.
"And that involves Dungeons and Dragons how... exactly...?" Oscar asked squinting.
"Why don't you go green? It's better for the environment..." said Lisa.
"Lis there's no environment in space..." said Oscar.
"Hmmmmm... we get a lot of green energy and healthy living remarks and protests from the Feministas and the Free the Waterfall family." said Leela. "Frida means well but the rest of her family are nuts!"
"You meatbags are boring... I say let's play dungeons and dragons!" said Bender.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
...
Oscar and Hugo messed with the robot nurses and wards and shut them all down so they could play dungeons and dragons undisturbed.
"Count me out though. You know I am still worried you're getting hooked Oscar." said Hugo.
The Planet express crew played Dungeons and Dragons. The setting was Cornwood.
The characters playing were Bender as Titanius Anglesmith. Fry as himself but he ends up like Gollum because of the dodecahedron.
"My precious! (Gollum sounds)" said Fry holding the the dodecahedron dark matter dice.
The Simpsons were disturbed by his Gollum antics.
Oscar laughed.
There was also Farnsworth as Gandalf.
Oscar screamed with laughter.
"You shall not pass wind!" Hugo yelled being silly and encouraging Oscar who laughed.
"Hugo don't encourage him..." Bart whined.
And Leela as a centaur but the centaurs being a peaceful race banished her for her warrior like ways.
They mistook Zoidberg as a giant tunnelling monster for the tunnelling horror and Leela pulled out and ate his hearts.
"Kali maaaaaaaa!" Oscar chanted being stupid over his Mola Ram obsession. Hugo slapped him for being stupid.
The Planet Express crew then encountered Amy as a water nymph.
Fry now bald and in his Gollum phase imagined clones of himself in his reflection talking in the voice of John DiMaggio and advertising stag horn switchblades.
"Is this the stag horn at this price!?" said a Fry Gollum on the QVC channel.
"That is the stag horn." said another Fry.
"I don't believe it?"
"Now I know what you're thinking... that's got to be imitation stag horn or the inferior manticore horn. But it is genuine stag horn." said a Fry Gollum that Fry was imagining.
Then they encountered an angry swamp hag voiced by Tress MacNeille.
"Get outta my swamp you kids!" said the swamp hag.
Oscar was stupid and used his power staff to turn Bart into Kip Kangaroo, then Chuckie Finster, then Mindy from Buttons and Mindy.
"Knock it off!" Bart yelled, upon returning to normal.
...
Springfield Library. 21st century.
As Promised. Lisa got Oscar some Dungeon Dice Adventure books. She dumped all the Livingstone Fighting Fantasy books on a table.
"Livingstone, I presume." Oscar quipped.
Lisa laughed. "That was a good one! Hehehehehe!"
Nelson leapt on Oscar and beats him up.
After Nelson left.
"Oz are you alright?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah, he just took me by surprise. Oooooh Deathtrap Dungeon! I got the PlayStation game!" said Oscar.
"Yeah I don't know why they adapted that one book and not the others... seems like they could have made a mint..." said Lisa.
"Well, I found the one Jules Verne novel I have been dying to read, Oz did you get anything to borrow?" Hugo asked.
"Just these VHS of season one of Twinkle the dream being..." said Oscar. "And Punky Brewster..."
Hugo winced.
...
At Home. Lisa's bedroom.
Lisa and Oscar were reading Deathtrap Dungeom and rolling dice.
"Congratulations! You decapitated the snake woman!" said Lisa.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
Bart saw them reading, rolled his eyes and went off to his room or something.
"And they only adapted Deathtrap into a video game because it was a commercial failure! It has sucky Tomb raider tank movement controls!" said Bart.
Lisa sighed.
"A wall opens up and you find a treasure chest, what do you do?" Lisa asked.
"Open it of course." said Oscar.
"Alas the treasure chest was booby trapped. It explodes in your face. You have died." said Lisa.
"Nuts! Let's go again!" Oscar sighed.
"Kids! Dinners ready!" said Marge.
"Sorry Oz, but after dinner perhaps." said Lisa.
...
At dinner.
"So I says to Mabel I says..." said Bart holding an idle conversation about something.
"Well D & D enthusiasts... I got something to mortify you... I have here Dungeons and Dragons the movie! With Richard O'Brien." said Hugo.
"Cooooool! The bald guy from Crystal Maze!" said Oscar.
Hugo sweat dropped. "Well that backfired badly..."
After dinner Oscar and Martin and Lisa watched the offending film.
Evil Richard O'Brien as an evil wizard wearing blue lipstick has just killed Snails.
"Nooooooooo!" Oscar screamed.
"Shhhhh!" Martin hushed him.
"Mwuhahahaha! Now to find my Coral Blue number 2 lipstick!" said Wizard Richard O'Brien.
"Actually it's Coral Blue number-Oof!" said the dwarf character but the barbarian character clobbered him on the head with a club for making a Spongebob reference.
"You won't get away with this!" said the hero.
"Oh but I will! Now we must head to the Aztec zone!" said Richard O'Brien leading the heroes to the Aztec zone of the Crystal maze from the Medieval zone.
Hugo face palmed.
"They will get a lock in and no crystals. Because the puzzles here are always hard..." said Oscar.
"Nah, the Medieval Zone ones are far more difficult..." said Martin.
"Nah, Future zone is just plain unfair..." said Lisa.
Hugo face palmed. "Look! Just because Richard flipping O'Brien is in it!"
"Mwuhahahaha! I am Edward Tudor-pole!" said Edward Tudor-Pole.
"Edward you're not even in this movie." said the hero.
Which sucks because he should be. Richard Ayoade was probably just a nipper when this was out and Er he sucks as Crystal Maze host...
"Oh God! Why is the Future Zone designed by Apple crossed with Portal?!" Oscar in the Crystal Maze reboot screamed.
"Would you prefer falling apart, Red Dwarf style shipwreck with humanity stuck in a technological dead end?" Richard Ayoade sighed.
"Yes. And we are an island you snowflake! We can't fit all of Asia and Africa in Britain!" Oscar ranted.
Plot 2
The next morning was Saturday so Lisa spent the weekend inviting Martin, Ralph, Milhouse and Dolph round for Dungeons and Dragons. Sorry Vampires and Vikings...
"We have a new team member. Uh holy Einstein! How dare you wear blackface!" Lisa yelled as Señor Chang turned up with his skin painted completely black.
"I'm not. I'm a Drow... a Dark elf." said Chang.
Oscar laughed.
"You are so triggered! You gonna cry in your safe space?" Oscar teased Lisa.
"Shut up Oz..." Lisa snapped.
"This is gonna be awesome!" said Señor Chang as a Drow in blackface.
"So are we just gonna ignore that hate crime?!" Lewis said annoyed.
"I'm a Drow... a dark elf... not a blackface gag..." said Chang.
"Chang we all know you came here today painted like that to rile a few snowflakes..." said Oscar.
"Uh more like kind and ordinary people Oz!" Lisa snapped.
Oscar made rude face at her.
"Everyone introduce yourself..." Lisa sighed.
A blonde lady introduced herself as a barbarian. "I have a loincloth, a belt... gauntlets..."
"Wait for it..." said a guy.
"Worst intro ever!" said Chang getting up. "I am Brutelicops! The magician! Hehehehe! Magic user baby!"
An arrow goes flying at Brutelicops." said Martin as an archer.
"No team killing." said Oscar.
The attack didn't happen.
later.
"And you come across a troll." said Lisa.
"Well I want to rob the naked guy." said Señor Chang in blackface.
"I attack! I attack blackface!" Ralph yelled.
"No team killing!" Oscar yelled.
"You rolled a critical Ralph. You decapitated him. Brutelicops is dead!" said Lisa.
"What?! Noooooooooo!" Chang screamed.
"You can't change the rules just because Chang's outfit offends you!" Oscar yelled.
"Yeah what Madonna album should I play, and who wants to go to the theatre..." said Hugo being gay to annoy Homer.
"Ha! Gaaaaaaaaaay!" Señor Chang yelled.
"Okay he's dead. Brutelicops is dead." said Oscar offended by his homophobia.
Chang threw a chair and stormed off.
...
Oscar and Lisa were a bit annoyed at each other.
"I was offended because he was being deliberately homophobic! You were offended because he wore blackface to portray a dark skinned character." said Oscar.
"That's cultural appropriation!" Lisa snapped.
"Oh but it's okay for you liberals to demand the next James Bond be played by a black man because equal opportunities!" Oscar ranted.
"Look I don't want to fall out! Look Critical Role is on! It's a show where celebrities play dungeons and dragons!" said Lisa.
They sat with Martin to watch it.
Ashley Johnson was RPing this episode.
"Coooooool Beans! Pea buddy!" Oscar screamed.
"You rolled a 2. Your attack missed." said Jack Black.
"Oh Brussel sprouts!" Peter Shepherd groaned.
Stalker appeared.
Peter Shepherd screamed and fled the RPG.
...
Meanwhile Dexter was playing Dungeons and Dragons but he kept killing the heroes as Dungeon master. So when Dee Dee wanted to play, Dexter's friends eagerly said yes. And when she wanted to be DM. They were very eager.
Dexter was annoyed.
Then Dee Dee made him the furry wood troll thing.
Dexter got up and stormed off, annoyed at Dee Dee, especially when she made them walk for ages and nothing happen and then she made it rain candy...
Meanwhile Bart was worried Oscar had completely gone over to the geek side.
"The only D12 anyone should be interested in is that rapper band Eminem is sometimes in." said Bart.
D12 were rapping when Bender arrived.
"Bite my shiny metal ass!" said Bender.
Proof shot him dead.
"Proof man! You just shot an alcoholic, swearing robot!" said Eminem.
A nightclub bouncer shot Proof, killing him.
"Noooooooo! Why does tragedy fall upon us!" Eminem screamed.
"Dah... What's up, doc?" said Bugz.
"That cutaway was not funny..." Bart groaned.
Homer had been seeing his friends at college again.
"We played dungeons and dragons for three hours.l." he said as if it was something he was interested in. "Then I got killed by an elf."
Bart groaned.
"I swear if I hear any more about Dumb dumbs and Dragons... I'll scream!" Bart groaned as he lied on his bead and buried his head in the pillow.
...
Meanwhile in Dungeons and dragons the movie which strangely features very little of Dungeons of Dragons.
"Oh come on! Go and fight a beholder already! Or a mindflayer!" Oscar ranted.
Bart upstairs screamed frustrated.
Marge sighed at him getting annoyed by Oscar and Lisa's hobby.
Richard O Brian as Xilus asked the characters in the Aztec zone what sort of game they wanted to play and who would play for a Crystal.
"Snails, (Despite being dead!) And we'll go for a Physical, Xilus." said Marina.
"As you wish." said Xilus.
"Throw a D12!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz shhhh! Look just play spot the celebrity..." Lisa sighed.
"I already know that's Richard O Brian from The Crystal Maze..." said Oscar.
One of the two main thieves, Ridley and Snails, was called Ridley.
"Should be Ridley and Kraid..." said Oscar.
Ridley the space dragon screamed.
"Shhhh!" Lisa hushed him.
Tom Baker made a cameo as an elf.
"Oh my God! The Doctor!" Oscar screamed and ran around the lounge waving a Fourth Doctor scarf about.
Lisa sighed.
Jeremy Irons was the main antagonist. Why am I not surprised...
"Long live the king..." said Scar as the main antagonist.
Lisa sighed exasperated.
Meanwhile, to Get Bart away from all the talk of Dungeons and Dragons and all things geeky, Marge took him to ice hockey where he plays for Wiggum's team.
"Come on Voorhees..." Bart teased Milhouse as he was getting ready as Apu's goal keeper.
"I'm sorry Bart but remember last time? I still have bruises from the hockey puck..." said Milhouse.
"No one tells me to go puck myself..." said Bart annoyed.
"It's go Fu-mmmmmmmmmmmph!" Oscar tried to swear but Hugo hand gagged him.
In Apu's team's changing room. The Kwik E killerz or something.
Homer screamed.
"Look! That kid has bosoms! Someone get me a wet towel!"
He was chasing Uter, who was stark naked, again while whipping him with a wet towel.
"Come ere, Butterball!"
"Don't make me run! I'm full of chocolate!" Uter cried.
Milhouse sighed at the shenanigans going on in his changing room and went inside to get changed.
The Springfield Pigs got dressed without any shenanigans or wet towel slapping.
Everyone was then waiting for Milhouse.
"I wonder where Milhouse is." said Jimbo.
Ki ki ki Ma ma ma... played as Milhouse arrived in his hockey mask.
"Oh look! It's Milhouse trying to cosplay as Jason Voorhees!" said Lewis.
"No it's just Milhouse in a hockey mask built to fit over his big nose..." said Bart.
...
Oscar and Lisa bored of the film, turned it off and invited Martin, Ralph and Dolph round to play Vikings and Vampires.
"Hinger Dinger Durgern!" Oscar chanted wearing a cartoon viking helmet and beard.
Lisa sighed.
Once they all got set up, the game could begin.
We find ourselves in an eerie backwater swamp. There is a swamp hag nearby.
"Let's talk to her." said Martin.
"The swamp hag simply tells us to get out of her swamp." said Lisa as the DM.
"Get outta my swamp! You kids!" said the Tress McNeille Swamp Hag.
Then it was Oscar's turn to muck up the RP.
In the swamp he decided his character walked into some quicksand.
"Where's Oscar?" Martin asked as the group wondered where he was.
"Help!" Oscar cried.
The gang found him slowly sinking in muddy quicksand.
"Ugh! Quicksand!" Oscar groaned.
Oscar was moaning aroused at the table in the basement.
"Oz no! There is no quicksand in the swamp!" Lisa groaned.
"It makes me horny though!" Oscar whined.
Then in another part of the swamp he insisted there were some tree stump trolls or Dark Treants that wanted some pizza but were picky about their toppings.
"No Oz..." Lisa sighed.
Then in game a white chocolate bunny rabbit made Oscar wet himself when it spooked him and he nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Ha! I've never seen someone wet themselves jumping before!" said the white chocolate rabbit.
Oscar the White Mage/Cleric. winced and blushed as wizard Dolph laughed.
"Maybe my character should start wearing diapers..." said Oscar.
Lisa winced.
"No, I don't want that in my RP..." she explained.
...
Meanwhile Bart played ice hockey when he thought he saw his alter ego Cosmos in full geeky apparel. Wearing his glasses from when he had a lazy eye, spikes combed down, misshapen teeth, spots, wearing a shirt and tie and his orthopaedic shoes.
"You call yourself a jock?" said Cosmos breathing with his inhaler.
Bart winced and shook his head.
Plot 3
In the basement Oscar, Lisa, Martin, Ralph and Dolph had sheets of glossary terms and things out. Such as monsters in Vampires and Vikings.
Already typed up read the usual array of Tabletop RPG monsters. Ie beholders, mindflayers/Illithids, Vampires etc.
Oscar put down the following new monsters.
Acromandela: a gigantic black spider with a passion for civil rights. Native to South Africa, one lives in the Forsaken Forest. (An obvious reference to Nelson Mandela.) Causes small but noticeable changes in the past that ripple through to the present but most don't notice or believe these changes. Ie the spelling of things changing.
"Oz no..." Lisa sighed.
Acromantortilla: an Acromandela crossed with a giant taco shell. This rare beast was created by a mad wizard, Sergio of Chimichanga.
Oscar laughed when he read it out.
"Oz no...!" Lisa groaned. "Don't make me ask for you to leave my RPG... we have fun... but please don't make off the wall silly suggestions."
"Sorry Daddy." said Oscar being completely insane and nonsensical.
"I warned you Lis..." Hugo sighed. "He gets obsessed. Can't differentiate between fantasy and reality and eventually his imagination takes over and goes cuckoo bananas..."
"Banana cuckoos... Cartoon green bears with big wet shiny green noses... Hotdog men! Etc" Oscar droned as he wrote down silly or insane suggestions for monsters.
Lisa sighed.
Martin, Ralph and Dolph winced.
Meanwhile during Ice Hockey. Bart playing for the mighty pigs. Mmmmmmm! Mighty Ducks parody... felt a twinge.
"Bart are you feeling that?" Milhouse from the enemy goal asked.
"Uh?"
"I really feel the urge to head off to your house to play tabletop games." said Milhouse.
"Me too. I think my alter ego Cosmos is taking over..." said Bart.
"We are the Superfriends!" Database, Email, Ham etc sang.
"Cease and desist!" Blue haired Lawyer yelled.
A Mindflayer drained his mind with a mental attack.
"Okay that's it. After this game I am embracing my inner nerd!" said Bart.
Meanwhile at Moe's.
"We played Dungeons and Dragons for three hours. Then I was slain by an elf." said Homer.
"Listen to yourself, man. You're hangin' with nerds." A young barfly groaned.
"You take that back!" Homer growled threatening him.
"Homer, please. These guys sound very nice, but they're clearly nerds." said Moe.
"Really? But nerds are my mortal enemy." Homer whined.
"Bobs are my mortal enemy." said Bart in a split screen gag.
...
Meanwhile Professor Farnsworth, Fry, Bender, sorry, Titanius Anglesmith of Cornwood, Centaur Leela and Amy we're trapped in a fantasy world of twenty sided dice and Lord of the Rings references. They had to find the anti dark matter crystal to neutralise dark matter and crash the entire star ship fuel market just to get one over Mom.
There was also that time they parodied Scooby Doo, GI Joe, Anime, and sappy cutesy cartoon cereal commercials.
"Bort." said flying yellow Zoidberg.
"Oh come on now... Bort?!" Bart groaned.
Meanwhile Oscar watched the British news on cable.
"In other news, while the United Kingdom explodes after the DailyMail Newspapers predict their imminent farting crisis." said the news anchor.
Oscar screamed with laughter. "Hehehehe! Farting crisis..."
After heading home from hockey Bart unpacked and got changed back into his usual clothes. He then went down to the basement with Milhouse to beg to rejoin Lisa's dumb RPG.
"There you are Milhouse the archer." said Lisa. "No Bart, you cannot join our RPG!"
"Why not?" Bart asked.
"Because you find it geeky and looooser so I have no idea why you're interested and remember last time when you screwed about..." Lisa sighed.
Bart recalled when he killed the vampire queen before she finished her monologue, him choking the Lisa Smaug and him burning down a ghost house.
"Oh yeah." said Bart. He went upstairs all the way up to his room and sat on his bed and played with his Krusty doll and Mr Honeybunny. He felt left out of Lisa's dumb hobby because even Milhouse was playing but he knew he only wanted to join in to ruin it by being smartassed.
In the basement Lisa started the scenario Out of the Abyss.
"Like a twisted Alice in Wonderland, this one takes you on a psychedelic adventure deep down into the Underdark - a series of tunnels that literally span continents. Here, it's eternally dark (you'll navigate mostly using glowing fungi), and horrifying cults based around spider Goddess Lolth abound." She started describing the world and story.
"Okay so you're all prisoners of the dark elves, or Drow." said Lisa.
Milhouse, Dolph, Ralph as a titan of a man/muscular fellow as a knight class character, Oscar as a gunslinger and Martin as Martina, the female bard... were sat chained up in an organic fungal pit of a cell. The walls and floor were a kind of fungus. There were many other disarmed warriors in rags who got captured too.
"I am Brutelicops! Hehehehe! The magician! Magic user baby..." said Señor Chang wearing blackface as a Drow.
Lisa sighed. "I walked into that one choosing Drow as the enemy..."
The objective was to break out and form a band of escaping prisoner to fight back and escape the UnderDark. Apocalypse Now style.
In the UnderDark, which Oscar kept calling the Underwear... The band of heroes and their new allies subdued the Drow guards checking up on them and broke out of their prison. They broke out by a Hobbit bard, not Peter Jackson's but the original concept of the hobbit, squat short cute little dudes with furry feet, pointed ears and buck teeth that can burrow, The hobbit bard dug a tunnel out and into the fungus filled tunnels. They wandered the dark tunnels of the UnderDark until they encountered a vampire.
"We encounter a vampire." said Lisa. "Any questions or suggestions of how your characters are going to respond?"
"Yeah I have a question!" Ace snapped. "What gives you the right to murder my people and commit regicide!?"
"What gives your people the right to bite humans in the night and make them your slaves?" Lisa retorted.
"Perhaps the same could be said about all religions." said Ace.
"Die monster! You don't belong in this world!" Oscar yelled.
"Mankind I'll needs a saviour such as you!" Lisa as a Druid snapped.
"What is man!?" Ace threw his juice carton. "A miserable pile of secrets! But enough talk! Have at you!"
Then Hugo did something because Lisa and her friends heard this screamed from upstairs.
"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO THERE'S MONKEYS AND FISH EVERYWHERE SOMEONE HELP!" Homer screamed from upstairs.
Lisa winced.
"Is it my turn now?" Ralph asked.
"Yes Ralph. You may roll the dice." said Lisa.
...
Up on the landing.
"Here you go, boy. Soup's on." Homer was going up to the attic after the monkey fish incident to feed Hugo.
(Growling) Something up there growled and it wasn't Hugo.
"Whoa!" said Homer.
(Whimpering) Hugo was too frightened of whatever it was to return to the attic.
"Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Hey, if you're out here, then who's in there?" Homer asked Hugo.
(Growling) There was a rabid badger up there.
"Whoa, a badger!" said Homer.
"Badger Badger badger! Mushroom mushroom! Badger badger badger! Mushroom mushroom!" Oscar sang memes.
Homer sweat dropped.
...
Bart was so bored missing out on messing up Lisa's RPG he had a pretend tea party with Krusty and Mr Honey bunny.
"And what do you think about me Sergeant Activity doll?" Bart asked his dolls.
"I think you're a big piece of crap!" Bart threw his voice pretending his dolls were speaking to him.
"Eh!" Bart yelled.
Meanwhile Dee Dee kept making Dexter role play as a hobbit.
"Dee Dee! I'm not being a hobbit!" Dexter snapped.
Then she made it rain candy.
Dexter face palmed.
At the Simpsons attic after the badger eventually got chased out.
"Okay... aside from the candy rain, what's so bad about role playing as Frodo..." said Hugo.
"Peter Jackson hadn't adapted Lord of the Rings yet." said Dexter from his universe. "We're talking the original concept of hobbits/halflings.
Squat, cute rabbit like people with hairy feet, pointy ears and buck teeth that can burrow like um rabbits.
"Okay..." said Hugo wincing.
"Yeah that's how we escaped our cell." said Oscar RPing with Lisa, Milhouse etc.
The hobbit bard led them through the monster filled darkness. Also he's funny and goofy like hobbit Dexter.
And in a startling climax Bart hijacked the DM and screwed with everything again.
"Bart no!" Lisa whined as he took the DM card fold out.
"And so you're walking through the forest..." said Bart smirking.
"The forest?! We're in a dungeon! A fungus dungeon!" The hobbit character played by Jurkle with enormous buck teeth yelled. "And what happened to the Underdark story?!
"Oh that's done." said Bart.
"Done?"
"Yes so move along." said Bart.
Jurkle lead everyone as a cute cartoon hobbit.
"And you're walking through a forest."
"Dungeon!" Jurkle snapped.
"Dungeon forest. What ever... and you're walking and you're walking and you're um walking..." Bart ran out of ideas.
"Gimme that!" Lisa yelled. "Sorry folks, ignore everything that happened during Bart's hijack...
They were back in the dark fungus caverns.
"I want to goof off! Come on Oz! For once make clowns or something! Or hotdog men or make everyone wear diapers or something!" Bart ranted.
"No! Oscar's on his best behaviour." said Lisa.
I demand fruit hat dancers!" Oscar yelled.
"No Oz! Please!" said Lisa.
"Go Oz! Go!" Bart cheered.
"No Bart!" Lisa yelled.
"Then this red dragon appears!" Bart made a dragon appear in the RP.
"No! There's no dragons in this story!" Lisa yelled.
The dragon disappeared.
"Okay an ogre." said Bart. A giant typical dumb ogre appeared.
"And..." said Oscar.
"He's crazy and dumb because he's vegetarian like Lisa and scrawny and good and sickly... and he reads..." said Bart.
"So basically he's Grogre then..." said Oscar. The Ogre became Grogre.
"Oh shut up!" Grogre snapped, being there for some reason.
"No Bart! There's no flipping Ogres! Guys just ignore him..." said Lisa.
"Then it rained candy!" Bart yelled.
"THAT'S IT! GET OUT!" Lisa yelled at Bart.
He did a She's crazy gesture and left.
Plot 4
After Bart left.
"Sorry guys, where we're we?" Lisa asked.
"We were fighting cultists of the spider goddess." said Oscar.
"Yes. So we were." said Lisa.
Upstairs Homer and his friends were playing Wyverns and Wizards.
"What's a wyvern?" Homer asked.
Homer's Brain: *pictures Ernest P. Worrell*
"Why Vern?" asked Ernest.
"Who's Vern?" Homer asked.
"Huh?" Barney asked.
"What?" Lenny asked.
"He's doing a dumb media reference..." Bart groaned. "Just ignore him..."
"A wyvern is a bit like a dragon, but smaller and its front legs are its wings rather than separate." said Hugo reading a book on mythical creatures.