Simpson Bible Stories II The Sunday school teacher is off sick so Bart pacifies Rod and Todd's whining with more Bible stories. And rampant inaccuracies.
PlotOne Sunday late morning after church. Bart had gone home with his family after another boring morning of church to get changed out of their church clothes.
"At last... Now I can watch the rest of Bambi Meets Godzilla..." said Oscar.
Hugo grimaced exasperated.
Bart in his usual orange shirt and blue shorts etc went off to find Rod and Todd because they stayed behind after church crying because there was no Sunday school because the teacher was sick.
"Oh those boys..." Marge sighed.
Bart rolled his eyes and went to check up on them. Because Ned sheltering them made them very vulnerable. In fact Ned asked him to check up on them.
"Bart diddly Arty. Can you do me a favour?" Ned asked.
"Yes Ned?" Bart didn't want to but respected Ned because he was the only grownup that had faith in him that he could be good.
"Can you pop over to the church and check on my boys. They've like lost lambs without me and gosh diddly iddly they're just so upset there was no Sunday School today." said Ned.
Bart rolled his eyes and pinched the top of his nose exasperated. "Okay Ned."
"I'll come with you." said Oscar.
In the church.
"Lord why have you forsaken us?" Rod cried.
"You already took Mommy..." Todd sniffled.
Bart came in.
He rolled his eyes at their blubbering.
"What happened? Did Todd see a caterpillar?" Oscar asked.
Rod shook his head.
"Are you two still upset there's no Sunday school this week?" Bart groaned.
Rod and Todd nodded.
Bart sighed. "I'll be your substitute teacher for today and we'll listen to some bible stories..."
"What do you know about the bible though?" Rod asked.
"I learnt from a few films... and Charlton Heston..." said Bart.
"DAMN DIRTY APES!" Oscar screamed.
Bart winced exasperated.
"Soylent Green is people!" Oscar yelled.
Bart sighed.
"THOSE WHO WILL NOT LIVE BY THE LAW ...SHALL DIE BY THE LAW!" Oscar yelled loudly.
"Oz enough!" Bart yelled.
He tells a few stories.
"Listen up and we'll begin..." said Bart.
Genesis II
There's multiple chapters of Genesis.
The first week of the universe God created the heavens and the Earth.
Ned as God every morning boomed "Let there be light!" Or whatever he made each day. The first day he made light. He called it the sun.
"Yeeeowch! It burns!" said Ned as God. The sun burnt him.
By Saturday he was tired as he had a planet with lots of animals on it and just created Man.
"There were all the loud and smelly animals." Bart narrated.
Adam belched.
"What about the dinosaurs?" Oscar asked glaring. Shhh! Christians don't believe in them!
"Uh... God created them too. All the animals lived together at the same time." said Bart.
"That makes a lot more sense than the Earth being billions of years old with different sets of plants and animals living in different eras." said Rod.
Oscar face palmed at his ignorance.
God created a wife for Adam because he was lonely.
The bible goes straight to him creating Eve from one of Adam's ribs. The Kabbalah and other Jewish scriptures state he had a wife before her called Lilith.
God then took a kip on Sunday.
Adam met a talking pig with a posh accent.
"May I interest you in some of my pork chops?" The talking pig offered him pork chops from himself but felt no pain.
"Thanks porker." said Homer as Adam eating them.
Then Lilith caused problems because she ran away with Samael and wouldn't come back.
"I am not an object!" Lilith yelled.
"Well according to the bible by not being totally subservient to men you're a sinner. What backwards thinking sweaty vest wearing incel wrote the this!?" Homer as Adam explained.
Lilith stormed off with Samael.
Adam cried.
...
Ned as God sighed. "Diddly..." He made a new woman called Eve.
Eve happened to look like Marge.
Marge already dreamt this story in Simpsons Bible Stories. Go read that... It was a tale of dinosaurs, betrayal, branch monsters and cartoon unicorns!
"Hi I'm Adam, you must be Eve." said Adam.
"Yes I suppose so."
"I'm a talking snake, here try the apples." said Snake Jailbird as the snake.
"We dare not! God said no!" said Eve.
But they did eat the apple and got banished.
After God was cross over his unicorn he threw Adam and Eve out. He then has an angel with a flame sword guard the entrance of Eden.
Cue a fierce angel with a flame sword.
"Coooool!" said Oscar as a primitive human. He was naked wearing a fig leaf.
Oscar looked about the now slightly emptier garden with no humans except himself. Naked cherubs flew about because renaissance artists were all pedophiles or something...
God was sickened by this so all the cherubs and Oscar were suddenly wearing diapers.
Oscar accepted this that the lord realised humans need clothes. He went over to visit the butterscotch pond with the cartoon Tress McNeille unicorns. There was a cartoon white unicorn foal with a blue mane and tail sounding like Shelby or Brett Gelatinous Blob.
"Like dude! You're bothering me." said the rough sounding foal.
Oscar went off in a huff waddling in a diaper.
"I'm not painting diapers on the cherubs/putti." said Rembrandt, Raphael and other artists at the time. Yes you will you sick pedo freaks!
There was also the unicorn from the Lucky Charms commercial. He was in a stable eating straw.
Lucky the leprechaun tickled his nose with a feather.
Oscar shook his head desperately begging him silently to stop.
"Ahhhh...Ahhhh...Ahhhhchooooooo!" The white unicorn with a rainbow mane and tail and purple nose sneezed sparkly glitter and snotty streams of snot...
"Eeeeeeugh!" Baby Oscar dripping with snot groaned.
...
Some time later he was clean again and encountered Dino, his baby chomby in the garden. He wondered how Adam and Eve were doing.
"I wonder how Adam and Eve are doing."
Outside where Death and pain exist, Adam and Eve were suffering.
"Oh this is horrible! And I now have the endless anxiety over dying!" Homer as Adam cried.
Later Marge as Eve gave birth to two sons. Bart and Hugo as Cain and Abel.
"Ay carumba... Why Hugo..." Bart groaned.
"They had twin boys..." said Oscar.
They both argued over who was Cain and who was Abel as they both had inclinations to be evil. Bart likes openly admitting he was bad but would soon have a change of heart witnessing actual evil. Hugo had no empathy but in canon he was the good twin in the twist...
Anyway Cain killed Abel. So one of them either Bart killed Hugo or Hugo killed Bart.
"I'm Cain!"
"No I am!"
"No I am!"
"No I am!"
"No I am!"
Etc until one of the twins pulled a knife out and killed the other.
Homer as Adam screamed.
"Oh no! Cain killed Abel! Whyyyyy?!" Marge as Eve cried.
Ned as God soon found out and angrily sent Hugo to walk the Earth alone with deformities upon his face. Ie half of it melting off and a horn on his forehead.
"That just tears it! First the apple, then one of my favourite unicorns and now the first ever murder?!" God yelled.
Hugo as Cain wasn't remorseful for his actions. Also the killing was over his crappy sacrifice not over who was who.
And God melted his face.
"That's just freaky..." said Oscar in the garden of Eden.
...
In Eden Oscar and the Disney voiced cartoon unicorn slid down a hill and landed in the butterscotch pond with a splat.
"Eeeeeugh! So sticky and gooey!" The cartoon boy unicorn groaned messy from the butterscotch and stuck in the gooey syrupy mess as he struggled and squirmed.
"Oz enough of the sappy cutesy wutesyness!" Bart whined. We cut back to the church.
"I like the Cutesy Wutesiness!" Oscar said sharply.
"And stop with referencing Hugo!" Bart groaned.
"I like Hugey!" Oscar said obsessed.
Bart sighed.
After Primitive Oscar and the cartoon unicorn got out of the gooey butterscotch they witnessed Adam and Eve's third son, Seth be escorted into Eden by the angel with the flame sword to retrieve a magic seed of life to populate the wasteland outside with more humans because they couldn't commit incest with their mother.
Bart as Abel laid dead from being violently slain.
Hugo as Cain ended up in the Land of Nod! It's true!
He winced looking at all the clouds as ground, ie cloud ground, and people in pyjamas sleeping and dreaming.
He built a city and Humans as they were born some went to live with him. Probably the evil ones.
Then Adam and Eve also had daughters because The Chronicles of Narnia said so!
Bart winced. Rod and Todd shrugged.
In Eden Oscar was with his pet dinosaur Dino, which looks like a baby Chomby. It was eating the grass. Apparently according to Homer as Adam there was a porno bush with pornographic magazines but this was impossible because God did not approve of that.
There were also green cartoon bear cubs that sniffed Oscar with their big wet shiny green noses.
"No Oz..." Bart groaned.
"Hotdog people!" Oscar yelled.
"No Oz..."
...
"Okay this story is just getting a tad silly..." said Rod.
"Yeah blame the spastic here. Bart rudely insulted Oscar's disabilities.
"Diiiiieeeee!" Oscar strangled Bart.
Bart wheezed and gasped.
The Flanders boys cowered, concerned by this violence.
King Solomon
King Solomon the wise was dividing up pies and eating them rather than explaining the concept of sharing.
"Um sire maybe you should hand over the pie halves to explain to people to share things..." said Moleman.
"No I'm hungry." Homer as King Solomon ate pie.
"I like pie!" Billy cheered.
Plot 2"Why was that story so short?" Oscar whined.
"Because it wasn't garnished with moronic and stupid stuff happening!" Bart yelled.
Oscar seethed.
"Now here is a story about a young boy who wasted all his dough..." said Bart.
The Prodigal Son/The lost Son
Homer and Marge are the parents.
Bart is the title character. The wasteful son who spends all his inheritance in one day.
Matt tried to make the elder son Lisa... A girl...
"Canon!" He screamed.
"No." said Oscar. The elder brother was played by Hugo.
"Oscar enough of Hugo!" Bart groaned.
"No I like Hugey!" Oscar snapped.
Bart groaned.
Homer as a Pharisee gave his children their inheritance.
"Because grownups sometimes die really young in these times. So here's your inheritance." said Homer.
Bart as the nameless character kisses his bag of money.
Hugo jabbered and dashed about on his hands and feet in a feral manner.
"Uh Dad maybe I should take the role of the sensible brother..." Lisa winced as Hugo was trying to catch a butterfly with his mouth. He growled like a chihuahua.
"No that's silly dear. You're a girl." said Homer.
"Oh and that's preferable to the story..." Lisa sighed pointing to Hugo who was scratching his ear with his foot like a dog does when it has fleas.
Homer grimaced.
"Well I'm leaving..." said Bart going off kissing his bag of money.
"But..." said Homer.
"Eh it's the biblical times. I'm sure it's normal to let him leave home at his age..." said Marge.
"Yeah in the far away town of Pallet Town, kids leave home when they're only ten years old..." said biblical Oscar.
...
Sticking with Bart.
He then meets up with Milhouse as his friend and they go to a primitive arcade.
"My dwarf isn't fighting..." Milhouse whined.
"You have to poke him harder..." said Bart as the prodigal son.
At a ping pong table kids were coughing because of dust in the arcade.
They then went to what presumably was the Kwik e Mart in the biblical times.
"How's your Squishee?" Bart asked Milhouse.
"You can really taste the Myrrh." said Milhouse.
They then visit the famous landmarks so far in this time period. The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah are still smouldering craters.
"This place rocks because of the parties! Endless parties!" said Bart.
Sodom was a smouldering ruins.
"Oh dagnabbit! Well there's still..." said Bart.
Gomorrah was in ruins too.
"Oh for crying out loud!"
Lott is whining to a primitive Wiggum that his wife was salted. Turned to salt. Wiggum thought he said assaulted.
"Your wife's been assaulted?!" Wiggum asked.
"No! Salted! Turned to salt!"
Lott's wife was a statue made of salt.
The cartoon Tress McNeille Unicorn with a blue mane licked her. "Mmmmmm! Salty!"
Bart winced exasperated.
"Who would turn a woman into salt?" Wiggum asked.
Lott explained God turned her into salt.
Wiggum left in a hurry.
...
Bart was telling the story while The Prodigal son and his friend who oddly resembled Milhouse tried to find something fun to do when suddenly Todd screamed.
"Now what are you yelling about?! Did you see a caterpillar or something?" Bart groaned.
"No... a ladybug flew in..." said Todd.
Bart rolled his eyes exasperated.
"Haaaauuuuw! Ladybug..." Oscar squealed. He loves ladybugs.
Bart winced at him.
...
"Anyway..."
Back at the Prodigal Son's family's farm.
Lisa was toiling in the fields still demanded she be the other "son" Just because Hugo isn't canon. And because he was acting insane or scratching himself like a dog.
She sighed as Hugo dug a hole and buried his inheritance like a dog buries a bone.
Hugo then found a rat scuttling about and a pigeon flapping and settling somewhere to peck at the crops. He smirked and had an idea.
Elsewhere.
Bart as the prodigal son and Milhouse then found the Tower of Babel still being built. They knocked it over. Builders got annoyed at them.
Oddly the builders yelled in different languages.
"Mamma Mia!"
"Pardon? "S'il vous plaît?"
"(Yelling in Chinese which in his speech bubble looked like Chinese scripture.)"
"Uh... I think they all got hit on the head..." said Bart.
...
They then went to the other Tower of Babel.
At the top awaited a Cyberdemon from Doom!
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
"No Narrator..." Bart sighed.
"We're not allowed to play video games..." said Rod. Except that offensive forcefully convert people game you had at your Mom's wake.
Bible era Bart wanted to play stick ball.
"Fine..." said Bible era Milhouse.
Snake then stole Bart's money posing as fortune teller.
"Ay carumba..."
Bart went home sad and poor and explained what happened.
"My son has returned! Marge kill that fattened up ox! We shall feast tonight.
"What?! I toil on the farm all day and save my money and you take him back?!" Hugo ranted.
"You're not canon! Matt wanted to change the gender of the other sibling to give me a role!" Lisa ranted.
"Well that's stupid." said Oscar.
Lisa seethed.
The family took Bart in.
"I can't believe this! He does this every week with his allowance!" Lisa ranted.
In their house they feasted. Lisa was eating vegetables because she was vegetarian by now.
"I made a pigeon rat." said Hugo having stitched a pigeon and a rat together.
...
"That's it?! My story was longer!" Oscar yelled.
"Yeah but it was stupid and went off tangent..." Bart groaned.
"That story is accurate but it doesn't teach a very good lesson..." said Rod.
Then they went on about TV. Rod and Todd said Cable TV was sinful despite that they have a TV with cable. Just that Ned locked out most of the channels.
"Rod, Todd... You watch TV all the time... you're always watching Veggitales..." Oscar explained.
"Next story!" said Bart.
...
The Binding of Isaac
"Coooool! That Indie game on Steam?" Oscar cheered.
"No! Not that overpriced game on Steam!" Bart yelled.
Rod and Todd were confused.
Abraham was Abraham of the bible/Torah. He was talking to Jasper who had plague sores.
Jasper sighed.
God then spoke with a thunderous bellow.
"Abraham! I demand you sacrifice your son Isaac!" said God.
"Uh? Speak up?" Abe asked.
"Abraham! I said, I demand you sacrifice your son Isaac!" said God. "Get your hearing checked you deaf coot! Geez..." He muttered quietly.
"Okay." said Abe. He muttered about God under his breath. Young Homer played the role of Isaac.
During this time Jasper was an unlucky man with plague sores called Job.
"I am Job." He said to Sally Fields.
"Excuse me?" Sally Fields asked.
"I am Job." He repeated.
"Eh?"
"I am Job!"
"I'm sorry the position has been filled."
Oscar laughed.
Bart sighed.
...
For some reason Abe took ages to answer God's demand of a sacrifice that Homer grew up.
"Abe! Sacrifice your son to me now!" God boomed.
"Okay... okay..." Abe sighed.
They had to climb a mountain.
Isaac whined. Well he is portrayed by Homer...
Abraham decided to burn Isaac at stake.
"This Wood will make you burn quicker." said Abraham.
"Uh?" Young Homer as Isaac asked.
"I mean, Burns is a Quaker!" said Abe.
Mr Burns was suddenly a 18th to 19th century Quaker.
"Now that is just historically inaccurate!" Mr Burns as a Quaker was annoyed by the inaccuracies.
"I'm sorry sir." said Smithers as a nun.
Oscar in church laughed hysterically.
Bart smirked. "Glad you liked me jazzing yo the story Oz."
Abe and Isaac climbed up further to the point the sacrifice had to happen at.
"What is this story called again?" Oscar asked.
"The Binding of Isaac." said Bart.
"Oh coooool! There's an Indie PC video game called the Binding of Isaac!" said Oscar.
"Oz no!" Bart whined.
Then Isaac suddenly fled into a cave with flesh monsters and poop and many, many power ups and shot blood projectiles or lasers etc at the monsters.
"Oz no! Stop going on about The Binding of Isaac video game!" Bart groaned.
Abe wondered why he was chasing Isaac through caves of monsters that looked like body parts or bug creatures.
Then God didn't want him to sacrifice Isaac because he passed the test of faith.
But Abe burnt Isaac anyway.
Then he mentions Christmas despite this being the Old Testament...
"That's it I quit!" Mr Burns stormed off.
"Okay..." said Rod when the story finished.
"Anyway I have no idea how that story holds significance in modern Christianity. It's more about the first circumcision. Which is Judaism." said Oscar.
...
Bart told the next story. It's like they took an anthology episode and Bart hogs all the stories.
Plot 3"Can someone else tell a story..." Oscar frowned.
"Nope..." said Bart.
Noah's Ark
Noah and his family, were played by the Flanders. Ned was Noah, Maude as Noah's wife and Rod and Todd as their children.
"I prefer the Russel Crowe Adaptation with Hermione Granger!" said Oscar.
"Oz no!" Bart groaned.
Hermione was baffled. Yes you're in the Russell Crowe adaptation. When you're done ruining Disney's Beauty and the Beast!
Ned was asked to build an ark.
"Noah. I want you to build an ark." said God.
"Yessiroonie Mr Lord." said Ned as Noah.
"Wow. So much more obedient than that last guy..." said God.
A few days earlier.
"Enoch. I want you to build an ark." said God.
"... Riiight. Am I on Candid Camera?... How ya gonna do it?" said Enoch.
God was outraged with his sarcastic attitude.
"Zip zop zoopity doo! Yeah how are you gonna make me build an ark?" Enoch acted like Bill Cosby.
God seethed.
"Enoch then gave his kids chocolate cake for breakfast." said Oscar.
"Oz why is Enoch Bill Cosby..." Bart sighed.
"Family Guy did it..." said Oscar.
The Simpson family in this story were sinners. They wanted to go on the ark with Ned but he refused.
"Please Noah. Pretty please?" said Homer.
"No!" Ned yelled.
Luckily Homer had a plan. His family killed the griffins and the jackalopes and dressed up as them.
Then hijimks happened that ruined Ned/Noah's attempts to save his family and two of every creature.
"Lions you will stay with the antelopes, Bats you will stay with the insects and Ozzy Osbourne..." said Bart as a jackelope.
"Sharooooon! This bat tastes funny!" Ozzy yelled.
"Bale isn't Batsy yet..." said Oscar on the Ark.
"Okay fine! An Ozzy eats bats joke... that'll be relevant again in say... oh 2020..." Peter Griffin snarked.
Then a goat butted Maude overboard.
"Aaaaaaagh!" She cried.
"Oh no! Mommy died again!" Todd cried.
Then Hugo cross breeding different creatures...
Hugo laughed maniacally.
Bart gawked concerned as he created hybrid monsters.
"What the ding diddly is this?" Ned asked finding a creature that had a penguin's body but with an elephant's head.
"Um..." said Hugo as a jackalope.
"Did you name it?" Ned asked.
"Uh?" Hugo asked.
"Did you name it?" Ned asked in a sharper tone spitting his words.
"Um it's Paul." said Hugo as a jackalope.
"Well it's gonna be a lot harder now because Paul's going the "Blork!" overboard!" Ned as Noah ranted,
Lisa as a jackalope tried to convince the carnivores, ie lions, tigers, sharks etc to become vegetarian.
the vicious carnivores rolled their eyes.
Then Homer ate the dinosaurs.
"Daddy, someone ate the dinosaurs!" said Todd.
Noah gasped.
"And that witch Hermione Granger is here for some reason." said Rod.
"I'm Emma Watson! And I'm allowed to play other characters!" Hermione Granger yelled. "Wingardium Leviosa!"
Also Russel Crowe was there.
Then Rod and Todd sang stupid bible songs.
"God said to Noah... I'm bringing in a floody floody..."
"Now boys, let the sinners drown in peace..." said Ned as Noah. People were drowning in the flood.
Eventually the floods subsided and they could leave the ark.
However, Ned opened the ark to be greeted with people. Particularly Sideshow Bob.
"Why are the sinners still alive?!" Ned asked.
"The leprechauns saved us." said Sideshow Bob.
"Well that boat was cramped, can't wait for some- Nyaaaaaagh! Sideshow Bob!" Bart screamed.
Sideshow Bob's theme played.
Then the Simpsons conned the leprechauns out of their gold. Oscar as a sinner conned them out of their boxes of Lucky Charms cereal...
"Oz..." Bart groaned.
Oscar laughed taking boxes of cereal.
And Noah had to turn his Ark into a single's B and B.
...
"Um I don't know where you got your information from Bart but we're going home..." said Rod and Todd as they went home.
Bart wanted paying but they had no money so he took their bikes.
"You can have Todd's..." said Bart to Oscar.
The End.
...
Bart and Oscar rode home on Rod and Todd's bikes. Oscar took Tood's because he also still rides with stabiliser wheels attached to the bike.
Bart sighed embarrassed with Oscar.
"Well at least this time the apocalypse didn't happen." said Bart.
"Yeah and you soiled yourself..." Oscar chuckled.
Bart glared at him.
However Bart changing bits of the bible ie who survived on the Ark meant the Earth in the present was overpopulated. Particularly with pagans and Baal worshippers. Also the griffins and jackelopes were now extinct.
"Your ancestors just had to dress up as the griffins and jackelopes to sneak onto the ark..." Oscar sighed.
There were also penguin with elephant head hybrids called Paul now.
Bart winced.
"Yeah your biblical times ancestor created a world of monsters..." said Genki.
"Suezo still looks like Mike from Monsters Inc..." Oscar smirked.
Genki throttled him.
"Genki why are you manhandling that boy?" said Liquorice, a black furred Tiger from the monster world. "Tigers" are wolves with horns and elemental powers.
"Zuuuuuuuul!" Oscar yelled.
Later.
Oscar was still annoying his friends.
"No Oz! Stop shipping me with Mona the Vampire!" Ace yelled. "Just because we're both vampires!"
Bart winced. "I guess what you were jabbering about when Grandma Mona turned up makes sense now."
"Also I get the feeling she annoys everyone with ridiculous spooky stories... Like that time she thought there was a living scarecrow eating everyone's brains..." Ace sighed.
Oscar winced alarmed. "Why can't the living scarecrows just stick with singing..."
Bart and Ace winced exasperated.
...
And now for more things that exist now in 2001! (Note fanfiction was wrote long after Season 12. Just bear with me that it's set during that time...)
Mona was in her imagination world with the rugrats.
"Mona why are we babysitting these babies who share our ability to enter a parallel world of pure imagination?" said her blond friend with glasses who dresses up as a bug boy in the imagination or dream world.
Lol! Pure imagination...
"Because the babysitter is an evil robot..." said Mona.
Verne Merlyn of UBOS winced exasperated.
Then "Hey Now You're a Rockstar." played loudly. Kids covered their ears in pain.
Shrek bursted in. Because that friggin exists now!
"What are you doin' in mah swamp?!"
Bart winced.
Also Artemis Fowl books were published.
"Oz you'll like them, it has fairies with guns!" said Hugo.
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
"And Mud Boy. Well Holly calls the main character, Artemis, Mud Boy..." said Hugo.
Mud Boy frowned. "Great... now Mud Boy has to keep fairies away from his bayou..."
At lunch.
Bart winced as the episode was still on going.
"Except it's now Oscar pointing out all the things that he can reference now..." Hugo sighed.
"Oh I can almost taste those chocolate-covered hot dogs." said Inane Brian.
"Eeeeeeeew!" Everyone groaned.
"No! No! No! It has to be chocolate dipped pickles!" said Billy from Grim Adventures.
Bart winced.
"Also I like Captain Olimar from Pikmin. Because he has big round pink nose like Billy's." Oscar prodded Billy's nose.
Billy winced.
"I wonder if Olimar's nose is really snotty too..." Oscar pondered.
"Oz! It's lunch time! Don't discuss gross stuff while we're eating!" Milhouse yelled.
Billy chuckled.
...
Third Grade Homeroom.
Jurkle was spinning his dreidel. Suddenly Draciel went slamming into it, knocking the dreidel over.
"Max! Stop launching your beyblade at my dreidel!" Jurkle yelled.
Max chuckled.
"I'm sure such a situation is not funny and only in very bad taste..." said Third Grade's class nerd. Ie their Lisa Simpson or Martin Prince.
Oscar glared at the nerd. "Yeah Jurkle your Dreidel is getting bullied by a Gay-blade."
"DON'T CALL EM THAT!" Tyson yelled.