New Kids on the Blecch (Disgusted groan). The olympics come to Springfield and Homer wants to run in the marathon but a prank from Bart leads to an angry mob and Bart joining a boy band and NSync, Subliminal messaging and Lieutenant Smash.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is "I will not buy a presidential pardon."
The couch gag is the Simpsons digging out of prison wearing cartoon prison uniforms as spotlights search for them. They sit on a couch.
The episode starts with the living room table covered with duff beer can rings. Some of the plastic rings were put together to form the Olympics five rings logo.
Homer is sat on the couch drinking beer. Hugo is taking the plastic beer rings and stitching them together to make a net to catch fish.
"And now more great moments of Olympic history." said the TV announcer. "In 1936 Jesse Owen humiliated Adolf Hitler by outracing his zeppelin."
Jesse Owen defeats a zeppelin in a race. Yes a zeppelin...
Hitler in the audience shouts in German and storms off.
"In 1968 Mexico, Black contenders of the Olympics on the podium made Black Power salutes." said the Announcer.
On the Victor podium where the top three olympiads stand to get their medals, the black contestants do black power salutes.
A KKK grand wizard swears and yells incomprehensibly and storms off.
"Also this year was when Ben Beamon shattered the world Long jump record!" said the announcer of the documentary. A black guy jumps really high out of the arena.
"I believe I can flyyyyyyyy-aaaaaagh!" He yells then causes a road accident when he plummets somewhere outside the arena. "Ow!"
An elderly Hitler, based on conspiracy theories that he did not commit suicide in 1944 in his bunker but fled to Brazil, shouts angrily in German and storms off.
"And in 1984, Portugal's Carlos Lopez becomes the oldest Olympic marathon runner at the age of... 38." said the announcer. Carlos is given his medal and falls over from how heavy the medal is to him.
Homer gasps. "He's my age!"
Marge came in.
"Marge, I have given this a lot of thought! I am going to run in the Springfield Marathon!" said Homer.
"Oh please! Homer you get exhausted watching the Twilight Zone Marathon." said Marge and she giggled. "I'm a real Billy Crystal! Hehehehe!"
"She's right Dad." said Bart.
"Well I think running is a great idea! It's good for you and adds years to your life!" said Lisa.
"You stay out of this Lisa!" Homer is being mean to Lisa for some odd reason. Lisa sad, closes her mouth and shuts up.
"Marge I am going to join that marathon tomorrow and I am going to win!" said Homer. "But first Oscar has some more filler and cutaway gags...
The Simpsons sighed and continued watching the Olympics.
"Japan's Yoshimoto made a perfect landing from the high jump on what later was found to be a broken leg." said Kent. A Japanese Olympiad landed on his feet with a horrid crunch and screamed in agony.
"He's faking it..." said Homer as his family members covered their eyes in disgust or winced at the poor Olympiad's nasty accident.
"Going far back in history to the origins of the Olympics now in Olympia, Greece 776 BC. Back when olympiads took part, naked..." said Kent. There were naked men taking part in discus and hammer throwing.
Homer screamed with laughter. "They're naked!"
"Oh Homer grow up!" Marge sighed.
"And here is with re-enactments, the Archery event. Hopeful young Olympiad and Monster slayer Ostus is a dead cent to win after slaying a hydra single handedly." said Kent.
Ostus looked exactly like Oscar.
"Oz! That's you?!" Bart gasped.
"Well he's likely my ancestor. Or I time travelled back to Ancient Greece which I sometimes do to fight monsters." said Oscar.
Ostus was competing in archery.
...
Marge went to the kitchen to prepare lunch or dinner. Homer came in, still insisting that he could take part in the Olympics.
"I'm telling ya I can do this babe!" said Homer.
"And I'm telling ya Sweetie you even get exhausted watching Twilight Zone marathons." said Marge.
In a cutaway Homer was watching The Twilight Zone. The theme played.
"Ooooooh! It's only the titles and already I'm bored!" Homer groaned.
Oscar hushed him.
Some time later.
"I say Death! Why is a raven like a writing desk?" The Episode starring Ed Wynn was on.
Bart grimaced.
Next was... "Spock! I, can not, marry, this, woman! Becausethegypsy, warned, me, about, her, infidelity!" The episode with William Shatner.
Bart was slamming his head against the wall.
"Hey look! Baron Duff VIII is in this one!" said Homer interested.
"No Dad! That's an actor from the 1950s called a Howard Duff... not Baron Howard Duff VIII, CEO of Duff..." Bart groaned.
"Charles Bronson, from Death Wish is in this one," said Lisa.
"Ey! Pally! Watch where you point that!" said a Charles Bronson voice.
Bart groaned and pulled his shirt over his face mortified at my stupid references.
"Zounds! It's my arch nemesis Dr No!" said James Bond because the episode One Small Pallbearer was on. The one with Joseph Wiseman in it. And may I say the Simpsons must have been sat for hours, perhaps days watching the Twilight Zone...
"Goodbye, Meestah Bond!" said Dr No on the TV.
"And Jaws!" said Oscar hanging upside down from the couch by his legs resting on it.
Jaws bit through a plank of wood with his steel teeth while dressed as an alien.
Bart head butted the drywall again.
"Bart!" Homer yelled.
"And Blofeld!" said Sean Connery as James Bond.
"No!" Bart whined.
"Yup!" said Oscar as Donald Pleasence was a Scientist. Hopefully an evil scientist trying to take over the world with doomsday devices, grappling with British secret agents and um... Michael Myers...
"Oz are you just playing spot the guest star now?!" Bart yelled.
"Shhhhhh! I missed what Donald Pleasence said..." Oscar groaned.
Then King Koopa from that awful live action super Mario movie was in the Twilight Zone!
"It burns!" Oscar screamed.
"Coooool! One of the original Catwomen from 60's Batman!" said Hugo.
"Hugo you don't even watch that show!" Bart whined fed up with my stupid cameos. Well tough! Because they were all true! Look them up!
Then Mickey Rooney, possibly shitting down people's chimneys and stealing scabs. Telly Savalas Blofeld...
"Oh my goodness I'm doomed Miss Moneypenny!" James Bond lamented.
And Disney voice actress the late June Foray...
"No!" Bart whined.
"Yep, yep, and yep!" said Oscar.
Mrs Featherb from Ducktales was on the TV. Probably because Sterling Holloway, the original voice of Winnie the Pooh was in the Twilight Zone too! Damn this insane series! XD!
"Oh bother! Who next? Mickey Mouse!?" Winnie the Pooh groaned.
"Don't jinx it Pooh!" Bart groaned.
Then Terror at 20,000 feet got screwed up because Trekkies rejoice! Not only was William Shatner in it but George Takei was in the Twilight Zone! Well not the same episode but still.
"oh dear God!" Bart gasped.
"You can relax now bub... that's all the guest stars I know." said Oscar.
"Phew..." Bart sighed.
"Until we start the 1985 revival series! Mwuhahahaha!" said Oscar laughing evilly.
Bart screamed.
...
Action returned to the kitchen after that um cutaway.
"Oh yeah...?" Homer squared up to his wife.
"Yeah!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, darling! I bet if I can't compete in this marathon I'll do your job for a day, and you'll do mine! Deal?" Homer asked.
"You got it bub!" Marge shook on it.
...
At the streets of Springfield where the marathon is taking place.
There are banners up and a starting line/lap gate where all the competitors start at. They wore vests with their numbers on.
Kent said something about Jebediah Springfield running across six states to avoid his creditors.
"Dad do you have everything?" Lisa asked Homer.
"Drinking water check! Sweat band, check! Anti chafing nipple tape, check!" Homer had a third nipple somewhere below his actual nipples as he squeezed some flab on his stomach. Eeeeeew! It made a horrible squidgy sound like he bursted a pustule. "Let's go!"
Everyone lined up at the starting area of the race. Chief Wiggum was the starting gun guy.
"On your marks, get set, now get outta here before I change my mind..." said Wiggum shooting his pistol into the air.
The race/marathon started and the competitors ran.
Homer immediately hit a wall. (Got stitches.) although physically hitting an actual wall would have been hilarious...
"Aghhhh! I hit a wall!" He groaned clutching his stomach burning in pain from lactic acid from anaerobic respiration.
"Geek!" said Bart. "Did Lisa help you write that, narrator?"
Smithers was being whipped by Mr Burns and pulling him along in a Chinese chariot. Because Mr Burns was being evil as usual.
"Ow! Sir, is the whip necessary?!" Smithers groaned.
"Silence! You call yourself Chinese?!" said Mr Burns whipping Smithers.
Then Comic Book Guy was dressed as the Flash. A very fat Flash.
"No one can out run the Flash!" said Comic Book Guy. But he fell down a manhole and got stuck because he was so fat! "Curses! One of my many enemies has left a trap I have fallen victim to!"
Then Grampa Abe was taking part!
"Hey look! Grampa is in the marathon!" said Marge.
"That's not Grampa. Dad's just dehydrated." said Lisa.
Abe threw some water on himself and turned back into Homer. Who was exhausted.
"See..." said Lisa.
"Ay carumba!" said Hugo.
Then a Samoan and an Australian were racing as the top two runners. Kent explained the prize was a tour of Springfield...
Bart was up to his tricks again as he joined the race ahead of the exhausted top runners dressed as an Italian racer. Bart laughed as he put on a fake moustache.
"That prize is all mine!" said Bart joining the race in disguise.
"And what's this?! A new contender races ahead! Full of gut and courage and sheer determination and gall. All of which he will be tested for after race in the mandatory drugs test." said Kent.
Bart won the race.
"Viva Italia!" said Bart dressed as an Italian.
"And our champion appears to be from Italy!" said Kent.
Italian Bart kisses his rivals in the race. "Mwah mwah! I use up all my English! Mwah! I thank you!"
"Viva Italia little ragazzo! Applause! Thank you so much!" said Luigi the Italian restaurant owner.
Bart went up to the steps of the town hall to receive his prize. A trophy and a coupon entitling him to a guided tour of town.
However a bird squawked and stole his moustache.
Everyone gasped.
"He's fraud!" said the Samoan.
"A phoney!" said the Australian.
"Hey! You're a phoney! A big fat phoney!" said they annoying "You're a phoney!" Guy from Family Guy.
"I demand he race again!" said Mel.
"No wait guys. I have a better idea!" said Moe. "We can have a fun run! On his trachea!"
Bart gasped that Moe openly threatened him.
"Kill him!" Screeched a woman.
"Make him pay!" Shrieked another woman
An angry and murderous mob closed in on Bart, going in for the kill. However his savior, a blond guy in a red sports car arrived.
"Come with me if you want to live!" said the guy. Mmmmmm, Terminator reference...
Bart Simpson considered the options.
"Angry mob, stranger. Angry mob, stranger... Stranger it is." He threw away his trophy and the mob distracted by it didn't notice him slip past and get in the red sports car with the strange man.
Plot 2
Bart was in the car with the strange blond guy.
"Thanks for saving my life, I owe ya um..." said Bart to the man.
"You'll find out who I am when the time is right." said the man.
"Well it says here you're L.T. Smash." said Bart holding an ID card for his driver and savior.
"The time has come!" said Smash. "I am L T Smash! And you are?"
"Bart Simpson." said Bart.
...
Bart was taken home. He was safe from the angry mob there as Smash spoke to him and his parents.
"Thank you so much for saving our little boy from the murderous Mob, mister..." said Marge. "
"L.T. Smash." said Smash.
"L.T. Smash..." said Marge finishing her dialogue now she knew his name.
"No need to thank me, here's the 411: I am a record producer and band manager! I am putting a band together and Bart is just the sort of bad boy image my band needs!" Smash said as he scruffles and tousles Bart's hair.
"My Bart?" Marge asked.
"Yes. That little stunt Bart pulled to day, shows he has the right attitude to be in my band!" said Smash.
"But Bart's not much of a singer." said Marge while Hugo was gnawing on his napkin.
"Are you just ignoring my canon?!" Oscar frowned.
"Okay he's a great singer..." said Marge.
"Singing isn't what brings in the Sacajaweas." said Smash.
Lisa as Sacajawea came in.
"Sacajawea, at your service!" said Sacajawea.
"Bless you!" said Marge.
"Gesundheit!" said Homer.
Sacajawea left annoyed at jokes that her name sounded like a sneeze.
"Anyway... as I was saying. Singing isn't what draws in the crowd, it's the attitude and image. And Bart has the right image for my new band, Party Posse!" said L.T. Smash.
Bart and Homer gasped happily.
"Now hold on, Mr. Smash! I ain't signing anything unless it is a recording contract or to release Bart into your care." said Homer as Hugo was gorging down fish heads.
"Now hold on a darn-tootin' minute!" said Marge.
"Mom please! It's been my life long dream to be a rock star!" said Bart.
"And mine has been to finally get rid of Bart once and for all!" said Homer. "As well as the freak Mutant Bart." That's horrible Homer...
"But..." said Marge.
"How many more lives must you ruin, woman?!" Homer yelled.
"Fine..." said Marge.
"Woohoo!" Homer and Bart cheered.
"Well, then it's settled." said L.T. Smash happy to be working with Bart.
Suddenly the annoying "You're a big fat phoney!" Guy was at the front window.
"Hey! You're a phoney! A big fat phoney!"
The Simpsons, Oscar and Smash grimaced.
...
Bart was taken to have a make over into a boy band member and to meet his band mates.
"Here's your crew, he's smart, he's soulful... say a big what up to Milhouse!"
Milhouse was in the band.
"What up G?" Milhouse greeted Bart.
"And... he'll break your nose and your glasses, and your heart... Nelson Muntz!" said Smash. Nelson was in the band.
"These are just my friends from school... who's next? Ralph Wiggum?!" said Bart.
"I'm a pop sensation!" said Ralph with a make over.
Bart sighed.
"And I'm the Mack Daddy behind this group and others such as New Kids in a Ditch and Boy Nudo!" said L T Smash. Hopefully the second one involves nudity...
"I love Boy Nudo!" said Oscar. He paused because everyone gave him an odd look. "As a role model for myself to be one day."
Party Posse were then taught dance moves.
The gay guy who taught Lisa to dance in Lisa the beauty Queen was teaching them dance moves and poses.
"Sneer, sneer. Two, three, four! And thrust!" They thrust. "And grab yourself there!" He holds his own groin.
Bart, Milhouse, Ralph and Nelson grab their own crotches.
"Now let's go and flirt!" said the gay guy. They flirt. He is disappointed in them. "I'm not meltiiiiiing!"
"Okay! Here you go!" said Oscar chucking a bucket of water over him.
"You accursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Meltiiiiiiing! Oh what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a small drop of water would destroy my beautiful campiness! Oh! I'm going oh!" The gay guy cried as he melted and died like the wicked witch of the west.
"Um... okay..." said Bart.
...
"Okay, you have the 'Tudes and the threads. But now let's see you sing!" said L T Smash as the Party Posse were given lyrics to sing.
"We rule the Earth, the greatest band since music's birth?" Bart sung.
"Doesn't this seem rather boastful?" said Milhouse.
"Nobody told me there would be boasting..." said Nelson.
"Plus you stole the rhyming couplets from Jumanji's clue from the episode Mud Boy." said Oscar. "Fools draw ruin from the Earth, the only hope is a magic birth..."
"Look just sing!" said L T Smash.
Bart, Milhouse, Ralph and Nelson sung.
We rule the Earth, the greatest band since musics birth They sung out of harmony and Bart's high pitched choir voice was the wrong kind of voice for the music style.
"Eeeew! Thank NASA!" said L T Smash realising their singing was terrible. He turned on a machine.
Bart sung but realised he sounded in harmony and with a deep manly voice.
"We love to sweat and we love to sing!"
"We're real funky, but not threatening!" Nelson sung in his new voice.
"We're the best band in world!" Next was Milhouse to hear his new voice because of the machine.
"But we would gladly give it all up, for that special girl!" Finally Ralph sung his line in his new handsome voice.
The gay guy who was somehow alive again was wafting and fanning himself because he felt they were great. L T Smash nodded.
Oscar had a perverted nose bleed and fainted.
...
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph had their first concert, at their school, Springfield Elementary.
Skinner headed the show.
"And from now on, anything caught in your trouser zipper will be handled by the school nurse and not me..." said Skinner. Eeeeeew! "Now are you ready for the pop sensation Party Posse?"
Everyone cheered loudly.
"Silence!" yelled Skinner.
Everyone was quiet.
"Let the show begin!" said Skinner as the stage curtains opened and Bart, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph were performing.
"Hey dudes and dames! Our lame principal doesn't want us to perform tonight!" said Bart.
Everyone booed and jeered.
"No that's just not true! I love your inoffensive pop rock!" said Skinner. Everyone booed and jeered again.
"Well screw you man! We're playing anyway!" said Bart.
Then Party Posse played instruments and sung beautifully. Probably because L T Smash brought the Harmonizer with him.
The girls screamed. Because Party Posse sounded so sexy when they sung.
"There is the finest boy band in the land! And you had to hold them back!" L T Smash berated Skinner.
"No I did not! I was for this performance! I even made orange juice!" said Skinner.
L T took off his sunglasses confused. "Orange juice?! What the! Do ya still live with ya mother?!"
"She lives with me..." Skinner retorted.
...
Bart and his boy band were then in a mirror room in bath robes relaxing.
"Tonight's show rocked!" said Bart.
"And I'm in a bath robe! And I'm not even sick!" said Milhouse.
Suddenly they had a guest. N-Sync!
"Oh my god! It's N-Sync!" said Milhouse. On cue, we hear fangirls screaming and squealing in the background.
"Word!" said Justin Timberlake. Then N Sync strutted towards them as pop rock music played.
"What brings you here N Sync?" Bart asked.
"I can't believe I'm meeting Milhouse! Word!" said Chris Kirkpatrick.
Milhouse grunted with approval and boasting.
"Just here to bring some wisdom to a fresh new boy band! And this gift basket!" said Justin.
"Stubble glitter?" Nelson took out a tub of stubble glitter.
"Coooool! A taser!" said Bart finding a taser in the gift basket.
"Yeah they're great for getting past screaming fans to get to your limo!" said Chris Kirkpatrick. He zapped Lance Bass with the taser.
"Ow! Yo!" Lance Bass screamed from being zapped.
"Now we must go dudes! Our clothes are looking a little stale... to the Bandana Republic!" said Justin Timberlake. "Word!" N Sync strutted out and left.
"They're great guys..." said Bart.
...
Bart and his friends in his new boy band were eating dinner at the Simpsons house.
"And we got to meet N Sync!" said Bart.
"Word!" said Justin Timberlake.
"Ah yes, well Justin." said Oscar putting on half moon glasses to read something and doing a Stewie voice. "How comes you don't hang around with N Sync anymore except this cameo and only act in movies such as... as that computer geek Mark Zuckerberg who made Facebook... A bald guy... Shrek the Third... a zillion kids animated movies..., Yeah, now why would you think kindergarteners would recognise who you are... Oh yeah, Mommy I wanna see Shrek because Justin Timberlake is in it! Not, Mommy, I wikes the funny green orge and the toilet humour! Poop and farts are funny!" Oscar ranted like Stewie Griffin.
"Oz, shut up..." said Bart.
"Yo! It's me! Lance Bass!" said Lance Bass. Justin zapped him with a taser. "Ow! Yo!"
Oscar was about to rant at him next but suddenly One Winged Angel played.
Oscar screamed. "Aaaaaaagh! Sephiroth!" He ran out screaming.
"I was the voice of Sephiroth once... in Kingdom Hearts..." said Lance Bass.
...
In the living room Bart was getting a massage naked, by a masseuse. He was groaning loudly with pleasure as his family watched TV.
"(Bart groaning with pleasure)"
"Mom! Can't Bart get his massage somewhere else?!" Lisa whined.
"Don't be selfish, Lisa!" said Marge telling her daughter off. There is a lot of Lisa bashing in this episode... which I like!
"Will you two shut up! I am trying to watch my precious V J Prattle!" Homer yelled.
On TV was a slutty pop sensation lady with an annoying voice announcing the latest music videos.
"And now from Party Posse!" said the annoying lady.
"My band! Turn it up!" said Bart.
There was a military themed and patriotic music video called Drop Da Bomb.
Bart and his band were in fighter jets singing and bombing terrorists.
"Cooooooooool!" said Oscar.
"Wow! You flew a fighter Jet Bro?" Hugo was in awe.
"It was mostly just CGI..." said Bart. "I was just sat in a green screen model of a cockpit..."
"Marge and Lisa were horrified the music video was glorifying war.
After the terrorists died, sexy belly dancers appeared and sung, "Yvan Eht Nioj!"
"Yvan Eht Nioj! Yvan Eht Nioj!"
"Yvan Eht Nioj? What does that mean?!" Lisa asked.
"Nothing! It's nonsense like Ramma lama ding dong. Or Supercalifragillisticexpialladocius. It means nothing but has a good rhythm!" said Homer.
"I have a sudden compulsion to join the navy for some reason..." said Hugo, hypnotised.
"Hmmmmmm..." Lisa said feeling suspicious.
Plot 3
"There was something weird about that music video..." said Lisa.
"Well I can tell you, none of those girls had ever had any children, I can tell you that!" said Marge.
"No something else..." said Lisa.
Hugo was acting hypnotized, desperate to apply to join the navy...
"Oh he got like that after he saw that village people song In the Navy..." said Homer. "Snap out of it boy." He slapped Hugo upside the head and he returned to normal.
Lisa was in her room when she found Hugo finishing his fishing net made of beer can plastic rings to hold the cans in groups of six. She gasped.
"Oh Lisa. I took your warning about fish getting caught in these and I thought if one of these sets of plastic rings can catch one fish, a million can catch a million fish!" said Hugo. "And no this isn't for the evils and destruction of the environment like Mr Burns... it's for food so I can catch my own food... I like fish... eating them that is..." said Hugo.
"Grrrr! And I'm a vegetarian! I hate any sort of cruelty to animals! Now get out!" Lisa yelled.
"Fine..." said Hugo taking his beer can ring net.
Lisa decided to watch Bart's music video gain to get some answers.
The video was playing on her TV and VHS player.
"Yvan Eht Nioj... what does that mean..." said Lisa.
She slowed it down. "Wait something is appearing..." she adjusts the TV until the hidden image is clear. "Uncle Sam?! Wait let's play it backwards..."
"Join the navy! Join the navy! Join the navy!" the belly dancers sung.
Lisa gasped horrified. "It's a subliminal message!"
"Oh my god! That's brainwashing!" said Oscar.
"Yes... it is Oz. We have to tell L T Smash!" said Lisa.
"That backwards talk is the oldest trick in the book! Even John Romero used it in Doom II for the Icon of Sin to make it sound like it was speaking in tongues. Apparently if you play things backwards like songs you get demonic messages from Satan or something and that's why he probably thought Demons speak backwards..." Oscar prattled on and on as Lisa ran off to see L T Smash.
...
Meanwhile Marge reminded Homer of his wager. If he couldn't finish his marathon. Which he didn't, he was one of the citizens of Springfield who did badly. The wager was that if he didn't finish he would do Marge's job for a day and she'd do his.
"Of course dear." said Homer. "Sucker..." he added under his breath thinking his job was harder than Marge's. One week day Homer stayed at home dusting and polishing while wearing an apron. And seeing the kids off to school of course.
"See you later, sweetie!" said Homer dusting and polishing in an apron as Marge left for Homer's work, the power plant.
Mr Burns was in on this wager. He actually supported it because it amused him, and he got to see Marge who he found sexy. As Marge worked in Homer's station Mr Burns watched her on the security cameras and got very aroused. Smithers frowned because he was jealous, he wanted Mr Burns. But he'd never admit that he fancied him...
Meanwhile Lisa ran to L.T. Smash's office. He was there thankfully so she could get some answers.
"L.T. Smash! Thank god you're here! The government is putting subliminal messages into your music videos!" said Lisa.
"Subliminal messages?! Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?!" said L T Smash.
Lisa saw he had an anchor tattoo on his arm.
"A naval tattoo?!" Lisa asked.
"A naval tattoo?! Do you have any idea how insane that sounds!" said L T Smash. "Oh it's hot in here today. He opened his jacket baring his chest. On his chest was a tattoo of a big ship with sails and written underneath "I (heart) the navy!"
Lisa peeled off a full stop from L T's name plate on his desk. "Lieutenant Smash?!" Lt. Smash...
"Yes Little Lady! And I want a "Sir!" at the end of that question!" said Lieutenant Smash taking off his hair, which was a wig. He had a buzz cut of bleached hair.
"Lieutenant Smash?! Sir!" said Lisa obeying him.
Lieutenant Smash pulled cords and they made his trousers flared as naval uniform trousers. Lisa also noticed a bust of his head wearing a Lieutenant's hat.
"Coooool! A former war hero!" said Oscar. "Just like Lieutenant Surge in Pokemon..."
"Ooooooh... Lieutenant Smash... how can you soil the good name of the music industry..." Said Lisa. "Sir!" she added a salute.
"Now Lisa, the armed forces has always used musical stars to recruit! Like Elvis, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts club, The Captain and Tennille, the KISS army." said Lieutenant Smash. Gene Simmons and his band were cleaning out toilets while wearing army camouflage.
"And don't forget The Village People's In the Navy!" Oscar added.
"That wasn't recruitment propaganda... the Village People Just wanted to sing about the navy as one big gay joke..." said Lieutenant Smash.
"But you already have recruitment commercials on TV Sir! Why do you need subliminal messages." said Lisa.
"It's a three pronged attack! Subliminal, liminal and Superliminal!" said Lieutenant Smash.
"Superliminal?" Lisa asked.
"I'll show you." Lieutenant Smash went to the window opened it and shouted out of it at Cleatus. "Hey American! Join the navy!"
"Okay!" said Cleatus going to the naval recruitment office.
"And now that you know all this Lisa, I am afraid you can't leave this room alive..." said Lieutenant Smash but he found she had already left! "Damn!"
Lisa was outside running off somewhere.
...
Lisa told her family everything.
"Wait let me get this straight. Bart's band is brain washing everyone with subliminal messages?" said Homer.
"Wait let me get this straight. My manager L T Smash is actually a military blowhard CO?" said Bart.
The Navy bursted in.
"Private Bartholomew Simpson, report for duty! You have been recruited!" said a sailor.
"What the?!" said Bart.
"L T must have recruited you, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph..." said Lisa.
"Certainly not! Bart's only 10! He can't join the navy." said Marge
"Don't you pull a GI D'oh Marge! We all remember when you and Homer agreed to enrol Bart in military school..." said Oscar.
"But that's different!" said Marge.
"No it's not! A cadet is still a military rank! It's just one a minor holds until they are old enough to join the armed forces... Bart would be in the navy as a cadet..."
"Fine... I knew we should have chosen to medicate..." Marge sighed realising that episode would come back to bite her.
"But I don't wanna be a sailor!" Bart whined as he was taken to join the navy.
"Homer we have to do something!" said Marge.
"Hey, we're the ones that decided putting him through military school was a good punishment for destroying the town with a huge sonic boom! And now we're back peddling?! No way! We reached out to the military to punish Bart, we cannot pull out now! That's Democrat talk!" said Homer.
Oscar was listening to Yvan Eht Nioj on his Walkman.
"Your love is more deadly than Saddam..." Bart's synthesized voice sung.
"Aye bitches! Why am I so high pitched?!" said Canadian Saddam Hussein from South Park with a squeaky voice.
...
The Simpsons were going to Bart's latest gig.
Homer kept pinching Lisa and teasing her about being bitten by the jealousy bug.
"Dad! Stop it! You're a grown man!" Lisa whined.
Homer gasped offended like Lisa had just accused him of something horrible.
"Behave you two! This is Bart's special little rock concert!" said Marge.
Marge was reading a map for the concert. "Now it says it should be here. On the USS Falcon."
"I think that's it, Mom." said Lisa pointing to an aircraft carrier lots of fan girls and their parents were being let on to.
"Ugh! Figures Lieutenant Smash would choose something military related for Party Posse to ply at..." Lisa sighed.
Backstage LT or Lieutenant Smash was scolding some scientists and techs.
"Have you guys heard of ergonomics?! This is still a box..." he said angrily addressing the voice synthesiser machine.
"Let's get good seats." said Marge.
"Mom it's a standing concert." Lisa explained.
"Oh I don't want stand all evening!" Homer whined.
"Sashhh! The show's starting!" said Oscar as LT Smash arrived on stage.
"Oh look! It's captain Birdseye himself..." said Lisa sarcastically.
"Are you ready to rock?" Smash asked the girls. They cheered.
"I said are you ready to rock?" Smash asked for a louder cheer. They cheered louder.
"Are you worthless maggots ready to rock or not?!" Smash yelled. The girls looked at him in shock. "Excuse me... Party Posse everyone!" Smash excused himself for his aggressive response.
One by one, the members of Party Posse arrived.
"I've been in every port from here to Barcelona!" Milhouse sung as he arrived.
Nelson arrived eyeing his ex girlfriend Lisa.
Ralph arrived in an ejector seat. Milhouse and Nelson sung as they helped him out of his seat.
Bart then arrived singing in a manly voice and riding a gun turret's barrel.
The gun turret Bart was riding fired a blank shot but was nonetheless extremely hot after firing. "Yeeeeeow! Hot hot hot!" Bart cried.
Despite Lisa's anger and disgust that Party Posse were being used as a tool to recruit people to the navy, the new song they were singing right now was called Sign me up. She was smitten by Ralph, Milhouse and Nelson's handsome new voices as a result of a synthesizer.
"Oooooooh! It's like how I imagined my boyfriends! Well except Milhouse. He fancies me but ugh! I could never go out with Bart's best friend..." said Lisa transfixed by her former boyfriends singing.
"Lisa loves Nelson! Lisa loves Ralph! Lisa loves Milhouse!" Oscar and Hugo sung teasing her.
Nelson then invited his former girlfriend Lisa on stage. However Ralph picked a fight with him because he was also Lisa's former boyfriend. Yes, Ralph's fighting with Nelson... Then Milhouse joined in because he fancied Lisa too. Even though they never had a relationship.
"Boys! Get back to singing!" Lieutenant Smash pulled them part and ordered them to get back to singing.
Then part of the song on Lieutenant Smash's directions, the instrumental required the fans to march on the spot like soldiers which he called strutting. The fans in a neat formation marched on the spot.
"Yeeeeees! Protect the country..." said Lieutenant Smash evilly as he rubbed his hands and evil music played. He imagined the fans as marching American soldiers who were suddenly shooting hippies riding giant monster praying mantises! Cooooool!
Giant monster praying mantises roared as the hippies slingshotted flowers at the soldiers and used the power of love! And rainbows... and the giant praying mantises fired lasers from their eyes! Coooool!
"Make love, not war!" said a hippy.
"Down with the establishment!" said another.
"I hate America!" said another.
"Coooooool! Giant praying mantises!" Oscar cooed.
"Oz! That scene is supposed to be LT Smash hallucinating... it's not real and we are not in it..." said Lisa.
"I want giant praying mantises with laser eyes!" Oscar yelled.
Lt Smash was roused out of his day dream/hallucinations by a former colonel.
"Smash? It's happening again isn't it? Your war flashbacks." said the colonel.
"Yes but less frequently." said LT Smash.
"Well I have some bad news. We're shutting down Party Posse." said the colonel.
"What? That's madness! They're the most popular thing right now according to little girls!" said LT Smash.
"Well not according to the next issue of MAD magazine!" said the colonel. MAD magazine was slandering Party Posse by showing them being flushed down the toilet.
"Oh! It burns! Such slander!" LT Smash gasped.
"I'm sorry LT Smash. But this ends now..." said the colonel. He turned off the voice synthesiser.
"No!" yelled LT Smash.
Suddenly Bart, Milhouse, Ralph and Nelson were singing in their usual voices. They wondered why. Uh what's going on? Bart thought as they now had no rhythm.
Meanwhile in live action Nancy Cartwright and Pamala Hayden were in a recording booth singing off key.
"Aaaaaaagh! It's hideous!" All the fan boys and fan girls screamed.
"You fool!" LT Smash took the colonel hostage at gun point and took the boat off mooring and it sailed away with all the children on board.
"No Smash! Don't do anything stupid!" said the colonel.
As the aircraft carrier sailed away. Kids and their parents dived into the sea to swim back to shore.
Plot 4
"Okay what did I miss?" said Homer coming back from the bathroom.
"Dad! LT Smash has gone crazy!" said Lisa.
Sinister laughter rang out over the tannoys.
"Who cares. Keep loading up missiles crew!" said Bart loading missiles into their silos. "Man being in a boy and is hard work...
"The Statue of Liberty ?! Where are we heading?" Lisa asked.
"You maniacs!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz shut up..." Hugo sighed.
LT Smash spoke over the tannoy. "Okay boys. There's your target! Destroy MAD Magazine!"
"Aaaaaagh! No! I love their mental hospital humour! Why not call it Everybody Hates Raymond? That's hilarious!" said Homer horrified his favourite magazine was gonna have its printing offices destroyed.
"There already is a spinoff called something similar. It's called Everybody Hates Chris." said Oscar.
"Guys. L T has officially gone nuts! We need a song to mellow him out!" said Bart.
"But we can't actually sing!" said Milhouse.
"Does someone need the ultimate chill out song?" asked Justin Timberlake.
NSync arrived.
"NSync!" Milhouse fanboyed with glee.
NSync danced to rock pop music and matrix froze.
"We're here to help out and kick it old school!" said Justin Timberlake.
"Word!" said Lance Bass.
"Wow! It's Milhouse!" Chris Kirkpatrick fangasmed when he saw Milhouse.
"NSync! You have to help! LT Smash has gone completely insane!" Bart asked them.
Sinister laughter rang out.
"That's why we're here Bart. Read these lines." Justin gave them scripts.
"They are totally slick!" said Lance Bass. Justin zapped him with a taser. "Yooooow!"
"Stop doing that!" Oscar yelled. "Stop zapping Sephiroth! He'll burn down Nibelheim again!"
"Kid. I was the voice of Sephiroth once... in Kingdom Hearts..." said Lance Bass.
"We can't sing without our synthesiser!" said Bart.
"Or radical dance moves!" said Milhouse.
"Why am I here when I could be handing out wedgies..." said Nelson.
"Ok fine, pay attention." said Justin Timberlake. "Strut, strut, crotch grab, twirl with a Jiggy into a slide... and... close with a matrix!" Justin froze in midair doing a matrix.
"There is no spoon!" said Oscar wearing sunglasses.
"You can't Jiggy into a slide then matrix..." Milhouse sighed.
"That's stupid!" said Nelson.
"I wanna twirl!" said Ralph twirling.
"Come on guys we have to try before-" said Bart but a missile was fired at the Mad magazine building and it blew up! "Oops... too late..."
"Nooooooooooo!" Homer screamed.
"My Printing Office!" The weird ugly guy on the cover of MAD Magazine yelled when he saw the pile of rubble and dead employees. I'm not sure if he is just a caricature of someone or an ugly kid with freckles.
LT Smash was arrested by teleporting Irish police men with funny accents. "Well I did it boys. Party Posse is sadly no more but at least I saved you from being humiliated in the press!"
It rained MAD magazines. Party Posse collected some.
"Awwww... We were gonna be on the cover of MAD..." Bart sighed.
"Ha! They called me Smelson!" Nelson cried tears of happiness.
"Ha! Smelson! It's true because you stink..." Homer laughed.
"Smelson. Ha! I could have cane up with that!" said LT Smash in police custody. Somehow the boat was now moored at a docks.
"Yeah sure. Off we go now lad!" said the cartoon Irish police men.
...
"Well we had a lot of fun tonight. At the military's expense." said Justin Timberlake. "But they're out there every day protecting us from Godzilla."
"Coooooool!" said Oscar in awe at such insanity.
"Guys no!" Lisa whined.
"And pirates!" said Chris Kirkpatrick.
"Cooooool!" said Oscar.
"Guys don't encourage him..." Lisa sighed.
"And Jellyfish." said Lance Bass. "Those invertebrates will sting you old school! (Justin shocked him with the taser) Yoooooow!"
"Gimme that!" Oscar took the taser. "Are you trying to piss off Sephiroth?!" He swore.
"So check out the navy for a two or four year hitch." said Chris Kirkpatrick.
"We signed up JC yesterday." said Justin Timberlake.
"What?! Nooooooooo!" JC Chasez screamed as navy officers dragged him away.
"Um okay... so that's the end of the episode? We fought to stop LT Smash using my band to recruit people into the navy and NSync turn out to be yet more brainwashed stars doing the Navy's bidding as its stooges?!" Bart asked.
"Yeah... it's weird..." said Lisa.
The End.