The faces of the Arch Sage and two upper rank devotees of the Third Order loomed in closely to inspect the offending… item... under their supposed guardianship.

There was no outrage or uproar, -yet. Because the Arch Sage had to be careful to be quite sure that this was indeed just a rock, before they officially expressed their rightful indignation over what would be seen by all as an insult of the highest level, requiring diplomatic recompense to be demanded. You see, The Order was one of the highest respected in the land for good reason. It was involved in all levels of society, from legal work to officiating of ceremonies, to the most grave matters such as funerary rights, and war. And at the centre of its belief system and discipline was simply; Seriousness, and their sphere of influence and duty was towards all subjects requiring such respect within.

Historically, because of this level of responsibility, the Order was in turn accorded the greatest respect of all Orders. And this… was looking to be a clear and direct slight by a representative of monsterkind.
Trouble was, you could never be too sure with monsters. Hence the staring contest with a rock.

The Order of The Stoic had been of course involved with recognising the rights of monsters when they reappeared back in the world years ago. The Arch Sage himself had been a leading voice of authority for the rights and freedom to live of the species, the gravity of humanity's duty to morally grow from the wrongs of the past when they had so cruelly warred against the monsters.
Everything had been going rather well in recent years diplomatically.

Then a lower acolyte came in from yard duty with a rock on a lead in their arms, and a look of contemplative, blank confusion on what they should do.
Sans the skeleton had come by that day, and in a jovial tone requested that the Order care for his pet while he made a trip away. On being asked why he had not visited one of the lesser orders, or anywhere more appropriate really, he had stressed that he purposefully picked the Stoic as the most reliable to take his pet care seriously. Serious literally being their core principle.

The skeleton though, as much as they respected his right to be; was notorious for being anything but. He had given the acolyte a container of sprinkles, the rock and the attached lead, petted the rock and stated his request for simple pet care including water, feeding, rest and exercise if they felt confident, and that he felt safe with no one else taking the job. It was surely a prank. And the monsters were as aware as anyone else that such a thing was an unacceptable disrespect to the Order of the Stoic.

It was at the core of their beliefs to give, and as society had determined long ago, be given respect in equal seriousness.
The rock didn't do anything.

It did none the less manage to start a chain of events leading up the ladder of ranks all the way to the Arch Sage and his current headache. The acolyte innocently asking the head acolyte what to do, the head acolyte in shock going to the sub master of their level, the sub master going to the protégé attached to the secretary serving the arch council, until here it was. The acolyte waited politely nearby as summoned.

"We cant stand for this." put forward the Arch Sage. The other elders nodded in relief at a decision being made. "But." He left that word alone for emphasis before continuing.
"-We must make sure of the situation before taking any official steps," he said. "Monsters are weird, we know. How can we be certain that this is what it appears, that is a-" he sighed, "-pet rock, and not some form of monster itself? We must not risk being wrong about what would be an honour if it was a monster ward."

The two underlings looked at each other, then one cleared his throat with a cough and put forward a suggestion; "Perhaps we could take a sample? Have our specialists in animal care analyse that?"

So, the rock was taken to the town lab which dealt with anything connected to the Stoic's business.
The sprinkles were left on the Arch Sage's desk, and he spent the rest of the day having paperwork interrupted just by the sight of the damn thing.

As embarrassing as it was to spread knowledge of the pet rock being given the serious consideration they were duty-bound to give by exposing its existence to more individuals who might talk, the rock was bought back in a box two days later. The lead had been removed while testing took place. The Sage was informed that samples taken were inconclusive. The report had painfully little to it, aside from assurances by the head lab director that every test they could do on a rock or animal had been done, to satisfy their responsibility to at least consider it might not just be a rock.

Now. Finally. He could get angry. Well that was a relief.
The original acolyte was summoned again, and given the lead back to return all items to skeleton when he returned, if he even did, this being a joke.

"Um…" The acolyte had had time to think, and decided they had better at least suggest the possibility to cover themselves as well. They waited until the Arch Sage gave them the go ahead to speak with a raised eyebrow and waiting stance. "Should I, uh, at least just do what he asked and sprinkle some food and water?"

The acolyte shrivelled at the resulting glare. "I -I just mean that we would have fulfilled our side of things at least in case-"

"In case of what?!" said the Arch Sage. His fury was being given a chance to be expressed now. The ire in his voice rose with the volume as he vented. "It's a rock! Are we really going to shame ourselves further in this charade? And what? Take it out for walkies?! What are you going to do?!" He got louder with incredulousness. "Stand there in the yard with a rock on a lead?! The Order's yard for all to see us all as idiots?!"

He picked up the rock in one hand from the top of the box held in the acolytes arms, holding it up beside his enraged face while facing the acolyte. "I have personally wasted the better part of my day giving this damn thing more time than we ever should have had to warrant. It. is. A. ROCK. And we will see about questions as to why that skeleton decided to cause the diplomatic uproar that has to come of this by this." He punctuated his point by slamming the rock down on his desk.
The rock, for a moment, remained a rock, as they both turned to soberly regard it.
Then it turned to sparkly dust.
"Shit."

"Thank you for coming, Papyrus. I believe we owe you a debt for your discreet understanding," solemnly intoned the Arch Sage.

""No, no! It's understandable really," said the skeleton. "These things happen. It's happened before when we were young, I must confess! I made a tiny error of judgement with an assault course for Sans' pet rock at the time to go through, and, well, it didn't work out once it got to the springboard element… " He looked to the side while rubbing the back of his neck. The Arch Sage just nodded. He wasn't about to question it.
"ANYWAY!" Sans never did realise I replaced his pet with another rock. And here is our new friend of today!" He held out another rock in his glove with a flourish.

The Sage dared check; "It, erm, is a similar enough monster rock? -Not a normal rock, that is? If you don't mind me asking."

Papyrus placed the rock on the Arch Sages desk, obliviously close to where the last one had ended. "Yes! It is even of the same breeding stock. Sans wont suspect a thing. He does love his pets but luckily rocks do all look a bit samey." He paused. "Did you say what befell poor Rocky?"

The Arch Sage was prepared for this, and simply lied his ass off, clearing his throat loudly to declare, "Ahem! Yes sadly it fell off a table, you see. We couldn't save it in time."

Papyrus considered the answer. "Hm, funny that,- rocks don't move!"

"Earthquake." improvised the human. "-Groundquake, from a, uh, subsidence issue." He threw in just in case anyone looked at inactive earthquake records for the day. He would just have to have the foundations reinforced in the coming months to cover himself, he accepted in further defeat.

It was a bright, sunny day. The acolyte stood in the yard of the complex, looking down at the rock on the end of its lead. It didn't do much.