Moenet After being left out seeing a Titan Arum flower bloom (a stinky event that only happens once in a lifetime) Moe contemplates suicide by jumping from a bridge but changes his mind when he inadvertently saves Maggie's life and the Simpsons take him to thank him for all he's done.
Not only have they given him a new lease of life but they then hire him to babysit! What could possibly go wrong?
Plot
The Simpsons are going to a botonical garden. The slogan on the flower garden reads "Our Stamens are pisteled!"
"Hahahaha!" Lisa laughed hysterically. "Anyone here want to know why that's funny?"
"No!" said everyone.
They got out and looked about.
"Why did Lisa get to pick this weekend outing..." Homer whined.
"Because I traded Bart my pudding for it." said Lisa.
"Mmmm! Chocolate!" said Bart eating the pudding.
"I hope it chokes you..." Homer said coldly to Bart.
Marge sighed at Homer.
The first exhibit was a patch of Venus flytraps. They ate a fly.
"The Venus flytrap lures prey with bait into its digestive system." said Lisa. "Those jaws are actually a type of leaf that traps prey." said Lisa.
"Coooool!" said Hugo delighted.
"Still science... still boring..." Bart yawned.
"Stupid prey." said Homer. A large Venus flytrap opened its mouth and offered him a hotdog. "Ooooooh! A hotdog!" Homer bit the hotdog but the Venus flytrap closed shut on his head.
The Simpsons and Oscar grimaced as he fought with the plant while it tried to digest him. Eventually he ate his way out of the plant.
"Homer one. Plants zero." said Homer confidently.
The rest of his family shivered in disgust.
Except Hugo who thought it was cool. He was rubbing his hands and laughing evilly while wearing his science lab coat and goggles. "Cooooool! Man eating plants!"
Lisa sighed at him.
...
Lisa then had to remind everyone the main event was starting a Titan Arum like flower called the Sumatran century flower was about to bloom. It only did so every one hundred years.
"Stupid flower..." said Homer.
The town's folk all gathered in the Sumatran century flower's glade.
Moe was at the bar.
"Where is everyone?" He wondered.
He saw his friends on the news drinking and waiting for a large flower to open.
"My customers! Where are they getting that beer?" Moe gasped.
There was a beer cooler. Oscar sneakily took a beer from it.
"A cooler?! I've been replaced by a cooler?!" Moe gasped.
Meanwhile Frieza came back to life somehow. He was annoyed to find his brother Cooler was the current antagonist.
"Cooler?! I've been replaced by Cooler?!" Frieza yelled.
Cooler was fighting Goku.
Moe decided to close up the bar and visit the flower.
He arrived at the enclosure the century flower was in.
"Wait, this glade is dangerously over crowded!" said Ex Mayor Quimby. "Someone needs to leave!"
"I'll make that decision Joe!" said Mayor West. "Someone will have to leave." he said in a baritone Batman like voice.
Everyone looked at Moe.
"Okay I'll leave... never liked flowers anyway..." said Moe. He left.
"Poor Moe..." said Marge.
"Look! The flower is opening!" said Lisa.
"It's a banana!" Oscar yelled.
Bart winced.
...
The townsfolk watched the flower open.
The flower slowly opened. Everyone gasped at its form. Then it let out a noxious poisonous gas!
"Eeeeew! The flower farted!" Bart groaned holding his nose.
"Bart! Flowers don't- Oh geez you're right!" said Marge holding her nose.
"Uuuugh! That smells worse than Sideshow Mel's bowling shoes!" said Krusty gagging before leaping into a pile of manure. "There, that's much better.
"Eeeeeew! Stinks like dirty diapers!" Oscar groaned.
"Homer we have to get out of here the fumes are too much!" Marge explained. Everyone evacuated.
The noxious fumes from the flower killed every single other plant in the gardens, except one tiny pink flower. However Homer ran back and stamped on it.
"Daaaaad!" Lisa scolded him for doing that.
Everyone drove home to get away from the gardens. However there was a traffic jam.
Homer had gone to sleep during the traffic jam.
"Dad! The traffic is moving!" said Lisa.
Homer awoke with a start and accelerated too quickly.
We find that Maggie's baby seat was a faulty brand and the lock snaps. Maggie goes flying out through the open sun roof.
"Oh no! Maggie!" Marge gasped.
"Dad why did you think it was a good idea to open the sun roof when we're trying to avoid a noxious deadly green gas?" said Bart.
"Shut up boy." said Homer.
Meanwhile Moe was contemplating suicide as he stood on a part of the bridge waiting to jump.
"Well, here you go now Moe, nothing more to live for, might as well end it." said Moe.
However Maggie dropped into his arms as he was about to dive. She gurgled happily.
"Whaaaaat?!" Moe gasped.
"Moe! You saved our baby!" Marge gasped.
"I suppose I did." said Moe handing back Maggie.
Everyone cheered and Moe was made a hero and given the town key. Realising how much he was loved he decided living wasn't so bad.
"I'll be at my tavern usual time!" said Moe.
Moe's bar flies Lenny, Carl, Barney, hat guy with glasses and drunk guy were cheering.
...
However one afternoon Marge and Homer want to go out so they call Moe to babysit.
"Wow! Are you sure? You know what I was like when I screamed at that kid at my old restaurant for squirting a water pistol at me... And I haven't seen much of Bart since he was a toddler." said Moe.
"Moe you'll be fine! Besides I trust you because you're my best friend!" said Homer.
Moe teared up. "That means so much! Thank you Homer!" He cried in Homer's arms.
"Oh Homie..." Marge sighed happily at Homer's thoughtfulness.
They left Moe to look after the kids.
Moe went upstairs to read Maggie a story. He decided to make her laugh by talking about an old Mafia godfather and wearing an orange slice cut to look like teeth in his mouth.
Apparently this is a Godfather reference.
Maggie laughed hysterically and clapped.
"Hehehehe! Like that do you? Well let's see... We can't tickle Elmo no more. He tickled Maggie's Elmo doll.
"No means no for Elmo!" Elmo yells before slapping Moe across the face.
"Ow!" Moe whined.
Maggie smirked.
Then more stupidity with her toys continued.
"Hey, Mag. Raggedy Andy over there has been giving you the button eye. I'll get rid of him." said Moe throwing him out. He needs to get out of my f******g bounty hunter meetings! "All right, come on. Out you go."
The Raggedy Andy Doll landed in Oscar's room while he was playing bounty hunters.
"Get the fuck out of my bounty hunter meeting!" Oscar yelled throwing the doll out of his room.
"Oz language..." Lisa sighed.
In Maggie's room.
"Oh a Justin Timberwolf plush!" said Moe holding Maggie's Justin Timberwolf plush.
"Hey! That's a celebrity spoof in my show!" Dudley Puppy from Tuff Puppy groaned.
...
Meanwhile downstairs.
"Oscar there's no point prank calling Moe because he closed the bar to babysit us..." said Bart.
"Ssssh! He's coming downstairs." said Oscar.
"Oh hohoho! Getting up to monkey shines again are we Bart?" Moe chuckled as he scruffled Bart's hair.
"Maybe..." Bart said with a smirk.
"How's about you sing that song of yours and I might have a Krusty Kandy bar for you." said Moe.
"Sorry Moe, but someone at the bar that night the last time I sung was recording me and sent it round the school..." Bart sighed.
"Well they're not here now are they Bart?" Moe replied.
Bart sighed and started singing Teddy bear's picnic. Oscar's teddy bear Teddy joined in.
Bart didn't see Oscar covertly recording him on his mobile phone. After Bart was finished and enjoying his candy bar Oscar quickly sent it to Nelson and switched off his phone.
"Oz why are you acting so shifty..." Bart frowned.
Moe then listened to Lisa play her saxophone. He surprisingly enjoyed it and praised her.
"Ah. Mmmm hmmm! Yeah that's a tune!"
Lisa stopped and smiled.
"You like Jazz Mr Moe?"
"Yeah... um sure..." Or perhaps he's being nice.
Then he decided to teach Bart boxing. (Thank you whoever drew that fanart!)
"I couldn't help but over hear your dad talking about your bullying problem at school Bart." said Moe wearing some boxing gloves.
"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that Moe..." Bart tried to explain. Well no it wasn't, only ten percent of the time do Jimbo and his gang barely tolerate you Bart.
Moe and Bart sparred for a while.
Eventually Marge and Homer came home. They were pleased to find Moe and the kids laughing.
...
However Moe over stepped the mark.
Maggie cried over the baby monitor.
It's impossible to sleep through a baby crying so of course Marge and Homer woke up.
However Marge and Homer were alarmed to find Moe had got in and was comforting Maggie when she cried. They heard his voice on the baby monitor.
"I'm sorry Moe but you can't just break in here like this unannounced! You'll have to go. And um I don't think we can trust you anymore right now." said Marge.
"I understand Midge." said Moe.
Maggie was sad to see him go.
However he obviously didn't understand as during dinner he popped over for an impromptu visit.
"Moe what are you doing?!" Marge gasped.
"Can't I see my friends at home! Oh Bart! Did you graze your knee?! Let me look-" He tried to look at Bart's leg which had a plaster on it.
"Okay Moe, you have to go now!" Marge walked him out.
"But they're gonna take my thumbs!" Moe cried. Um he owed money to someone...
Oscar screamed because Eric Roberts as the Master appeared.
Bart winced.
Maggie cried all night because she wanted to see Moe.
"Hmmmmm! Homer maybe we've been too harsh towards Moe..." said Marge.
They invited him over for Maggie's birthday party. Again...
"This party is boring..." Lisa groaned to her Aunts Patty and Selma.
"What do you expect... it's for babies!" said Oscar.
"How on earth is it her birthday again so soon anyway?" Lisa asked.
"I don't know!" said Oscar.
Bart turned up playing with a baby's toy. "I'm helping daddy!" He said in a babyish tone.
Lisa grimaced at him.
"What? It says aged one and up!" said Bart.
Hugo laughed at him.
Plot 2
However Moe kept redoing Maggie's bow and subtly insulting how Marge did her bow and then he argued with a baby's mother because they were playing with Maggie in the sandpit.
Then he read the Godfather to Maggie at naptime.
"Hmmmmmm! Moe I don't want you telling Maggie the story of The Godfather..." Marge was cross with him.
Homer wanted to hold Maggie but she jumped out of his hands into Moe's.
"D'oh!" said Homer.
Then Moe insulted everyone's presents to Maggie.
"Oh a new rattle!" Marge thanked Patty.
"Yeah way to set the bar Patty..." said Moe.
"Oh grow a neck Frankenstein!" said Patty to him.
And he argued with a mom because her baby was being a bit rough.
"Hey watch your kid Karen Allen!"
Moe made Maggie a diorama of his tavern with little figures.
"Hmmmmm! That's not a suitable toy for a baby... I bet they don't even talk!" said Marge.
"Sure they do!" said Moe. He pushed a switch on the Homer figure.
"I peed my pants!" said the figurine.
Bart laughed hysterically.
"I recorded that for private use!" Homer snarled at Moe.
"Well, at least we're outside instead of sitting inside watching TV." said Marge.
"Oh my god! I'm missing the game!" Homer screamed an ran inside.
"McGyver!" Patty and Selma fled to watch McGyver.
"Spongebob!" Oscar screamed and fled inside.
Marge sighed.
...
After Moe went home.
"That's it! He went too far this time! First he steals my daughter's love and then he embarrasses me in front of everyone with a private conversation I blurted in the tavern while drunk!" said Homer.
"Ha! Peepee pants!" Bart laughed in the hall outside their bedroom door.
"Bart! Go to bed!" Homer yelled.
Marge sighed.
"Homer, maybe it's time you reach out to Moe."
Suddenly...
"Darling, reach out, come on girl, reach out... reach on out for meeeeeeeee!" Oscar sang Four Top's Reach out while playing his red guitar.
"Go to bed!" Homer yelled.
Marge sighed.
"You know Marge, I think things are looking up for Moe." said Homer.
Marge made a soft sigh.
"But I'm still annoyed he embarrassed me at Maggie's birthday party today." said Homer.
Oscar's room.
He was in bed watching Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers. Well a strange episode with Minish Cap Link.
The setting was the cowboy years in an old rootin and tootin Texas-like town.
Also Fievel was there...
Fivel waves at the camera.
"Mornin' sheriff." An elderly mouse said to Chip who was the sheriff.
Dale was a kid being picked on by rowdy people living in the village.
Chip scared the rowdy bullies away.
"We were jus rough housin'..." said the mice.
Chip noticed everyone gawking. "Everyone back to work or I'll charge you with loitering."
Everyone went back to work.
Oscar chuckled while watching cartoons before bed.
...
Lisa picked the day out again. A museum.
"How come Lisa always gets to pick the family activities?" Homer groaned.
"Because I know every time you say pick a number from one to 10... it's always seven." said Lisa sighing.
"That's because there were seven apostles." said Homer.
"No, there were 12." said Lisa.
"Actually 13, but we don't count Judas because he is a traitor!" said Oscar.
"So it is twelve then, Oz..." said Lisa.
They looked at a dinosaur skeleton.
"What a bone head..." said Homer.
Bart sighed exasperated at his stupid pun.
Then they went back to the botanical gardens from the opening. They were looking at some pretty flowers.
"Flower power my ass." said Homer.
Some Hippies jeered and protested.
Bart winced.
"Make love, not war, man." said Hippy Oscar dressed as a hippy with a peace sign sweatband instead of goggles and long hair.
Bart groaned.
"Lets see the deadly plants exhibit next! Mwuhahahaha!" said Hugo laughing maniacally.
The Simpsons sighed.
The went find various amusing topiary bushes. There was Jebediah, Bongo from Life in Hell, a unicorn and Kang and Kodos.
Oscar laughed at the topiary bushes.
...
Then more funny lines.
Krusty was near the century flower. It farted again.
He gagged at the stinky fumes.
"Unh! That smells worse than James Coco's ski boots." Krusty groaned.
Was that before or after he went insane after being force fed donuts for ten minutes in Hell?
"I dunno! Who is that sad to recall that?!" asked the blue demon from Treehouse of Horror IV.
Hey!
Then the Simpsons watched TV.
"We now return to The Beverly Hillbillies Down Under." Oscar clearly was watching silly programmes again.
"Hey, Granny. I'm gonna be a professional didgeridoo player." a hill billy had a didgeridoo.
Granny snapped it in half. "Well, now it's a didgeri-don't."
People laughed.
"Oh, Granny." the boy groaned.
"Can you put on the baseball game?" Homer whined.
"No. I'm watching this..." said Oscar.
Marge knitted Moe a sweater, he was visiting.
"So I knitted you a nice warm sweater." said Marge putting it on him.
"Oh, look at that. That's so soft and thoughtful and... What's the gag? Is it full of chiggers?" Asked Moe. (A type of racist named arachnid...)
Oscar snapped in volcanic fury. "THAT'S RACIST!"
Everyone winced.
"Oz thinks that bug's name means Chinese Ne-" said Bart.
"Lalalala! No one can hear you! Lalalala!" Oscar drowned him out by singing loudly.
"No, no. All that's in there is love and gratitude." said Marge. "No racist named arachnids!"
"Aw, jeez, there's something in my eye." said Moe crying. "Oh it's some glass."
...
Then Grampa was being silly outside in the street in his dressing gown wearing a bedpan on his head hitting a pot with a wooden spoon.
"The Swedish are coming! The Swedish are coming!" He cried.
Oscar screamed in terror.
"Oh, Lord, why do they keep changing his medication?" Marge groaned.
Homer winced.
"Look at me, I'm Speedy Alka Seltzer." Grampa yelled running about the sidewalk.
"Whoa!" Bart cooed.
"Moe, I gotta handle this. Can you keep an eye on Maggie?" Marge gave Maggie to Moe.
"Me? Uh, yeah. Sure. If you don't think I'd spook her or nothing." Moe asked.
"No, you'll be fine. I'll be right back." said Marge running off after Abe.
"They got lingonberries!" Grampa cried. "And colourful crap artsy fartsy furniture!"
The kids and Homer winced.
"So... How you kids doin'?" Moe asked.
"Grampa, stop!" Marge called to Abe.
"Sayonara, Tojo. La, la, la, la, la!" sang Grampa. He threw off his gown and ran off naked!
Oscar laughed.
A mother covered her son's eyes.
"Oh, Lord." Marge sighed.
Some hours later. It was night.
"I finally caught up with Grampa. I found him crying in the cemetery." said Marge.
"Old people are funny..." Oscar giggled.
Bart sighed exasperated.
...
At a play date or something.
"A ball pit eh?" said Moe.
"Eeeeeeeew! Some kid left their stinky diaper in the ball pit..." The Treasure Planet kid from Marge Be Not Proud groaned holding a dirty diaper.
"That's my stinky diaper... Um I'm really slow getting potty trained." said Oscar.
"Oh what a beautiful baby! I can see the resemblance!" said a Mom to Marge.
"You calling her repellent?" Moe got the wrong idea.
"Well, no, I was just..." said the mom.
"You ain't Karen Allen yourself, you know?" said Moe.
"Actually I am." said Karen Allen.
"Shut your eyes Marion! Don't look at it!" Oscar screamed.
Marge grimaced exasperated.
Marge also made food. Yum!
Well the context was that the Simpsons were having Chinese dinner and the year was a rat year.
"Way to go, Mom. Homemade dim sum with eight kinds of dipping sauce. This is the best Year of the Rat ever." said Lisa. It was also a rat year in the Chinese zodiac.
"My favourite year!" Hugo cheered holding his pigeon rat and surrounded by rats.
The Simpsons grimaced in disgust.
"Come on let's eat." said Homer as the Simpsons and Oscar sat at the table. Oz laid a plate of shrimp tempuras on the table.
Then they spoke about Moe again etc.
"If Moe is Maggie's father figure now, then what am I?!" Homer cried.
"A monkey's uncle..." said Oscar eating dim sum with chopsticks.
"You can be my father figure." said Bart.
"No that ship has sailed." said Homer.
Moe was babysitting Maggie. He found an Alice and Wonderland book.
"Alice in Wonderland," huh? Ah, this must be a takeoff on that Alice in Underpants movie I saw." said Moe.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Marge grumbled disapproving.
"White rabbit, chicks popping mushrooms? This is like the Playboy Mansion." said Moe.
Oscar laughed.
"Cooooool!" said Bart.
Plot 3
Meanwhile amusingly Fat Tony put a hit out to have the Castellaneta family whacked (killed). Yes the Castellaneta family...
"Curly I want you to kill or in the mafioso lingo, whack the Castellanetas." said Fat Tony.
"But Fat Tony! If we kill the Castellanetas, who will voice Homer Simpson?" said Curly.
"Um... okay don't kill Dan then..." said Fat Tony.
Homer in a Gilligan cut winced exasperated.
Yes they're trying to kill your voice actor Homer...
Meanwhile at the mansion of Don Castellaneta.
Don Castellaneta looks exactly like Homer when he daydreamed he was a Mafia boss being offered donuts.
"That was ah nice ah donut..." He sighed in a siciliano accent.
Homer's voice actor was a member of the family too.
"Your Godfatherness, Fat Tony wishes to have a Frank meeting. I fear we may all get whacked." said one of his gangsters.
Don Castellaneta screamed.
Elsewhere at home.
Bart and Milhouse and Nelson are Splinter Cell assassins or something.
"They've entered the sheep's head. Repeat, they've entered the sheep's head." said Bart over his Krusty portable radio talker and receiver.
"Baaaaaa!" Oscar bleated like a sheep in response over the Krusty portable radio network.
Bart winced exasperated.
"I'm on my way." said Nelson.
Bart was freaked out by a toy Maggie had. A creepy staring teddy.
"They're scary just like the English Muffins!" He cried.
"Hey lay off the English muffins!" Oscar yelled.
Bart winced. He looked at the bookcase hiding the portal to the CGI realm. Out of curiosity he pulled out a book. It was titled Plato.
"Look Milhouse! A book entirely about Play doh!"
"That's Plato you moron!" Hugo yelled taking the book.
"I stand corrected, It's about pluto." Nelson said
Hugo grunted.
"Is Hugo even playing?" Milhouse asked.
"No because he's a geek..." said Bart.
...
At Moe's.
Moe was at work serving the bar and cleaning the glasses.
"So you're not babysitting for the Simpsons tonight?" asked Lenny.
"No Midge is home and I've got customers tonight, ie you guys. Another round Carl?"
"No I have to get home..." said Carl. He left and went home.
Moe sighed. He had more to live fire now that Maggie liked being babysat by him but he he started arguments with people and encouraged Oscar's stupidity.
"Before I was this close to ending it all. Now I feel like Barbar, king of the elephants." said Moe.
"BARBAR KING OF THE ELEPHANTS!" Oscar bursted into the tavern and screamed.
"See? Fruity as a nut..." Moe sighed.
"Oz go home..." Homer groaned.
At Luigi's Italian restaurant.
Fat Tony's mob had it closed for a private mafia style frank and angry discussion with another family Fat Tony was at war with.
Also Don Castellaneta was there. And as I said above he is essentially Godfather Homer from that time he daydreamed about organised crime.
Fat Tony and the head of the other family kissed.
"The kiss of death! But why? What have I done to deserve this Tony?" The head of the Castellanetas or someone sighed.
"Make him an offer he can't refuse. Uh... oh and put a horse's head in his bed." said Fat Tony to Curly.
"Okay Bose but I've been rather down in the dumps lately.
Fat Tony sighed and cut up an orange and wore the the segments in his mouth as shark teeth.
Curly laughed.
"Moe what has that got to do with the mafia..." Legs sighed as we have a split screen gag between Luigi's and Moe's.
"I dunno..."
Back at Luigi's.
"Dan Castellaneta I'm having you whacked! Sleeping with the fishes! Cement shoes!" Fat Tony was outraged over Homer's voice actor for some reason...
"But who will voice Homer and Genie?!" Dan cried.
Then they had a Mexican stand off pointing guns at each other.
"Now hold on there. I'm the President of the Italian-American Anti-Defamation League." said some guy who walked in on them. He drew guns on both families. "And this really burns my cannoli!"
"I'm sorry I burnt your cannoli! Mama Mia!" Luigi's cried.
...
And then the story sort of ran out of steam because it's about Moe and Maggie... yeah it's a dumb episode...
"Moe can you change Maggie?" Marge asked Moe.
"Oh yeah. I forgot, I found kids nauseating back when I turned my bar into a family restaurant..." said Moe sighing.
"That's you!" A boy showed Moe an unflattering drawing of him with stink lines.
Moe sighed.