She was happy.
It was kind of wrong to be but she was. She was happy that this contract ending. She was waiting for the end of the year impatiently and It's suffocating her. She was not supposed to feel this way like the idol life she worked so hard to achieve was stale.
She gripped the glass tightly, smelling the filthy liquid in it. The faintly lighted room echoed security, like she was supposed to be present there, at that right moment.
It felt so nice.
The loud noises of the cramped room echoed in her ears, piercing her guts. With those already a couple of visits to this dirty place it felt like home already. Feeling safe in the most exposed place possible. An irony.
She was tired.
She was tired of being on stage. It was her passion for such a long time but in the end, she was exhausted. She wanted to forget, to leave all the troubles behind, to close her eyes, to ignore the figure approaching her, towering her with its presence.
"Hello, may I ask why someone so beautiful seems so lonely?" the figure's voice echoed in her mind, and she turns in its direction. It was, in fact, a man, one cute enough by her standards. Brown hair and eyes, nice smile, tall. He was attractive. But she wasn't in the mood for this. She was drunk just enough to seem sober to the outside world, just enough to think of how exhausting her life is. She gripped the glass harder, wishing to break it with sheer persistence.
"Fuck off," she said, short and clear, that would scare most of them with brains by now.
"My name is Kiba, would It be okay to ask for yours?" he sat on the bar stool beside hers, looks like he's a no-brainer, how fun, she thinks while eyeing him intently. His eyes oozed innocence like he didn't notice her resentmentment of him.
"Why should I give It to you?"
"Because I gave you mine "
"Weird logic Doggy," she smiled and turned around on the old stool trying to look around. It was not like you could see something though, It was too dark. And darkness was a good thing, It was tricking her brain into some state of confusion. Into thinking that life is currently perfect.
"Doggy?" he said, confused.
"You look like one, with that dopey smile and happy-go-lucky attitude, you're unlucky today dear, you are not my type." she squinted, trying hard to see through heavy darkness, seeing a table with one empty chair and a couple of occupied ones. She pointed at it, seeing something she would gladly be interested in. A figure precisely, one of the men, the bored looking one, his expression devoid of any concern, he looked like everything was okay, like life was good like he didn't mind. And that was somehow insanely alluring.
"Hey, Doggy," she said and he jumped a little. "That there, It's your table, right?" She assumed simply, it was only a table empty seat after all. And by the expression on her bystander's face, she was right.
"Yeah," he replied simply, taking a hint. Looks like he has some brains after all, she thought, appreciating his mild sense of reading the room.
She took a notebook she carried in her black, leather bag, ripped a small piece of paper, and started writing slowly, glancing at her target from time to time. Doggy followed her eyes intently, realizing her intentions.
"I don't think that's the smartest move of you," he said calmly looking weirdly stern.
"Sorry, but I think that your little friend right there is way cuter," she ignored him and got up slowly, she was scared that otherwise, she would fall into some type of dark oblivion. Fall and never see the light of the world again.
Maybe that idea wasn't the worst one.
The Doggie's expression was stunned, blank. She noticed that he froze, like something earth-shattering just happened. It was funny, really. So she smiled, just a little.
She knew she shouldn't be caught doing this but she was drunk, maybe not nearly enough for such a stupid act, but drunk non the less. The smell of alcohol in the air was intoxicating. She felt secure in the dark.
Sometimes blindness is far more reassuring.
She sat down on the Doggie's seat, feeling weirdly confident about the situation she put herself into. But being confident is like part of her. And this rush of confidence is one other thing that made her reassured today. She looked at the face of the man, apparently Doggie's little friend. His face was remarkably bored. Not a single mark of confusion or surprise.
"Hey," she said, not bothering to look at the other people that were sitting beside him. She wouldn't be able to see their faces anyways.
"Hey?" his eyebrow quirked up, probably questioning why was a woman that was the target of his friend's affections just a couple of seconds ago was even there, sitting beside him.
Even she herself questioned this, to be honest.
"You're cute. I wanna give you my number."
"You're bold," he said, now with both brows up. A sign of confusion. And It excited her to push his buttons.
"So I've heard."
"Didn't my friend come up to you?"
"Yes, but I like you, It's not that complicated."
"What if don't want your number?"
"Then I'm going to give it to you anyways."
"You're weird," he said it like It was an insult of sorts but smiled fondly. And she rather liked It. "Okay, I'm taking it." Now she was satisfied, seeing such a small variety of emotions on his face. Quite a reward.
"Good." with that she got up, ending the conversation right there. Leaving everything the night brought behind.
"Temari!" Hinata shouted, running into her arms with excitement. "Where have you been, we've missed you."
"Talk for yourself, dearie." A bleach blonde came into the room with a scowl. "Where have you gone without a word? Hinata was worried."
"Hey, Ino I missed you too," Temari said, expecting this, ignoring the comment from earlier. Their relationship was complicated from the beginning, ever since their trainee days, with no signs of affection whatsoever, but they cared for each other, It was painstakingly obvious enough to people watching.
"You reek of alcohol?"
"I know, what is it to you?"
"Bitch."
"Thanks," The replied simply and stepped towards her room, she needed sleep. She would pass out otherwise.
"Temari. Good night." the voice of Hinata echoed sweetly.
"Thanks, Honey."
Her room was dark like that dirty, old bar. Again, It was reassuring, better than seeing everything clearly. Sometimes Temari wished that she was unfortunate enough to possess a need for glasses, to be partially blind. It would be a delight to look at the blurred version of the faces you know. It would be easier that way, to be able to control your vision of things. But no, life loved her so much to make her vision flawless, like glasses would ruin her pretty little face. So in the end she could only get drunk, to blur her mind if her eyes cant bother with it. And it worked.
She was sprawled on her bed, staring at the morally gray ceiling that would change with peeking sunlight.
The door opened almost silently and she looked at the intruder.
"What do you want." she tried to stay cold, even though it was kind of hard to.
"I just wanted to ask if you are okay, sorry for being like that, Hinata was really worried, so I got angry." and there she goes again, everyone is worried but her, like she cant commit to care. She does it every single time, repeatedly. That was what of a weird human being Ino was.
It's not like Temari was that much better though, so she couldn't really complain.
"You know Ino, you are very predictable, you should try fixing that."
"Don't smart ass me, just reply as we normals do."
"You're normal?"
"Temari," Ino said, seemingly serious this time. What a rarity, Temari thinks, her attention back on the plain ceiling.
"I gave the guy my number." she blurted out. Surprisingly not guilty at all.
"What! Are you sure about that? You know It's complicated If you start the dating road." A surprise was obvious on Ino's face. She didn't expect this from headstrong and careful Temari. But sometimes it was good to be unpredictable.
"I know. I knew it at that moment too, I just felt like it, I was kind of drawn to him, can't explain it really." That was one of many truths she uttered today. And she is rarely this truthful.
"Oh, maybe you met your destined soulmate or something like that." Ino teased. A confused look turned into a smug one.
"Don't start Yamanaka," Temari said sternly, not ready for Ino's fleeting romanticism at that moment.
"Okay, okay just don't get into some type of trouble, please," Ino whispered the last word so gently, like even she didn't want to hear herself plead.
"I won't"
"And please talk to me If there is something more, you still look troubled."
"Later, please," Temari begged, her features scrunching, eyes watery, her face possessed a pained expression.
That was one of the only things Temari and Ino had in common, they hated the words such as, please. They made you feel weak, embarrassed, and bare.
"Okay," Ino said, and then she got up, strolling in the direction of her room. "Good night."
"Good night."
For them, this was routine, quite an overrated one at that but Temari didn't hate it, she never hated it.
When Temari woke up her ceiling was white, meeting her expectations of the night prior. Quite an obvious observation, but it never failed to fascinate her. The pureness of the color drew what draws her to it. It was not that she liked it very much. It was that somehow it never got dirty, even with existing there who knows how long.
Should she wear white today?
It was not really her thing per se. But sometimes it was good to trick with first impressions, right?
She turned into a useless overthinker and she knew it, she hated it, It was like Temari she knew is changing.
Disgusting.
The sunny weather accompanied her long white dress well. If her younger self saw this elegant person in a costume of herself she would gawk and deny that she, Temari turned into this.
But people change, right?
It was okay to turn into this tired mess, right?
She stepped into the enormous building, night colored, masking its ever-changing interior.
Today was the first day in her new world. A first day of a long-needed change.
She needed this change, to run away from idol life. Would acting help her to run for long? She didn't know. But she was Temari and she was damn stubborn when she wanted to be. If she wanted this she would power through it.
Because some things don't change after all.
The big room was filled with her maybe future coworkers, with new faces, new people. She avoided the satisfaction of blindness today, she was full of confidence.
But suddenly her new world felt numb when her phone rang. She looked up to see something she never expected to see again. The arrogant face and somewhat gentle smile. Its owner clinging his phone to his ear, looking at her knowingly like he solved some long-coming mystery.
Her confidence partially shattered.
And there was only one thing she could do. She whispered.
"I think fate hates me."