Chapter 1:
Mandatory warning. This story is a mix between shitposting, schizoposting, and esoteric meme references. Do not take this too seriously. This Issei is like if you fused Patrick Bateman, Batman, Gojo Satoru and a bunch of other (literally me) type characters into a blender and stuffed him into the man that is Hyoudou Issei. Also a lot of shitposting, fraudmaxxing, and making Issei a scummy, money-hungry, appearance obsessed schizo. I had FUN writing this.
Enjoy!
"If I'm typing like this, assume it's a thought."
[Ddraig's dialogue.]
"Issei is sync'd up to Ddraig"
The sound of a modern, vast shower head spraying copious amounts of water brought peace to his tired mind, as the young man began to stare intensely at the reflection of his face up against the glass pane. A well-defined, strong body, like that of a professional fighter, littered with scars - Some bullet holes, others knife wounds, and even a wound from magic or two.
"I live in Kuoh town, Japan, an area near Tokyo. My name is Hyoudou Issei, I'm sixteen years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet, and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy from the fight I had with a rival school member the night before, I'll cast some healing magic on it to soothe the bruising. Then I start my crunches, I can do a thousand now. After I finish with the magic, I use a deep-pore cleansing lotion, one I spent nearly thirty-thousand yen on after watching some steroid-abusing maniac on Tiktok recommend it to me. I don't really care if it works, but I know that if it's expensive, it usually has some meaning to it." The young man began to monologue to himself, as the sound of classical music began to reverb from a nearby speaker, throughout his vast, dark-tiled bathroom.
"In the shower, I use a salicylic acid facial cleanser, and then move onto a hyaluronic acid toner on my face for several minutes. This eliminates any blackheads, excess oil and potential breakouts that may happen on my face. From there, I move on to a deep cleansing moisturiser, as well as industrial grade sunscreen. While it's not recommended for Human use, I believe that fair skin is equivalent to beauty, you might call me racist, sure, but honestly? That's why I get girls, and you're listening to my monologue, we are not the same." Hyoudou Issei continued to murmur to himself in a confident voice, in spite of his poor falsetto of broken English, in an attempt to mimic a Hollywood star from the latest movie he'd binged.
"Once I've finished with my twenty-four carat gold facial mask, which I apply for ten minutes, as I finish off my skin routine, I ensure that my face is free from any facial hairs. While I think a beard can be conventionally attractive, I have a well-defined jawline, which I earned through a mix of genetics, hardcore mewwing, jaw training and ensuring my body fat percentage is at an all time low. I then proceed to scream my heart out into a pillow, and smoke a single cigarette, alongside a cup of black coffee. This irritates my throat slightly, but it ensures I have a rugged, gravelly voice, akin to those youtubers such as 'Corpse Husband', who's low, gravelly voices tend to be far more effective in attracting girls. When I've finally gotten to the last steps of my skin routine, I ensure to use a cream containing retinol, for the anti-ageing purposes. While I'm still young, I need to ensure that my body, and especially my face, retains its youthful, tight properties, as this further highlights my face. I'm a firm believer that your face is what determines people's opinions of you the most, and by ensuring both my face, and voice are at their best, I know that I can sway people's opinions, and have them under my grasp." Issei continued, tearing off the remnants of the face mask, before opening a nearby white cupboard, revealing a vast amount of labeled bottles, ranging in both color, size and logos - Each and every single logo that of a big, European designer brand.
"You may think this step is obvious, but your scent truly is a huge deciding factor in how people perceive you. Women themselves are what the internet calls 'smellfags'. While this may sound like a derogatory term, and it might be, it refers to the fact that women are far more sensitive to smells than men are, hence it is vital that I use only the best fragrances. I own at least thirty bottles right now, with the cheapest being around fifteen-thousand Yen. I never use Eau de Toilette, only Eau de Parfum, as this means minimum alcohol, and maximum scent, as well as lasting a while. Since today's a school day, without any physical training, I've decided to go for something 'office friendly'. I use Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille, one of the world's most expensive fragrances. It has a unique mix of Tonka bean, tobacco, as it states, roasted coffee and dried fruits, that when mixed together, give a very woody, masculine, yet intriguing scent. I often change perfumes and experiment with them, as my body composition, heat, sweat and my diet often have effects on how perfume is distributed and emitted throughout my body, so I'm constantly keeping notes." Hummed the young, handsome man, brushing a hand through his long, dyed-blonde hair, as he began to thoroughly comb it, alongside using a straightener, and styling it yet again, repeating the process for several minutes, before swaying his head back-and-forth to produce a messy, yet purposeful look, and nodding.
The naked teenager practically glided from the well-kept living room, before slowly walking over to his wardrobe, revealing a mix of well-tailored, pricey-looking clothes, ranging from leather, to suits, streetwear, and finally, his school uniform. Beneath each outfit, lay numerous sets of shoes, each and every one plastered with a large designer logo, screaming his wealth out.
"When I've finally finished my morning routine, I put on my school uniform. In Japan, especially private academies like my own, style and uniform are everything. There's a basic dress code, and people from low class backgrounds could just buy store made ones, but I am Hyoudou Issei, I need to be more than that. Each and every single one of my suits is tailored by an Italian man currently residing in Tokyo, while it does cost one-hundred grand per uniform, it's a steal for owning five pairs. After I've put on my uniform, and ensured my scent and appearance are correct, I put on a pair of black, leather shoes - My choices range from Balenciaga, and Versace, it really depends on my mood. There is an idea of a Hyoudou Issei, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me. Only an entity, something of a mystery, and though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my cold hand and feel it gripp-" The teenager began to monologue, before being interrupted by the sense of raw, primal energy emanating from his right arm, as the symbol of a green dragon began to glow brightly.
[SHUT THE FUCK UP, PARTNER! EVERY FUCKING MORNING, I HAVE TO HEAR YOUR CHUUNIBOYOU SELF REPLICATE A MONOLOGUE FROM THE LATEST MOVIE OR ANIME YOU'VE FORCED ME TO WATCH! I'M TIRED OF IT, WHY CAN'T YOU BE NORMAL?] Ddraig's thunderous roars of raw, unbridled wrath and irritation sent his host into a scare, as Issei jumped back in fright.
"Ddraig, how many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop interrupting me when I'm doing my monologue? Can't you see I was almost finished?" Issei cursed back, as he spinned around in the mirror, glancing at himself, admiring his well-defined body, further highlighted by his tailored uniform and designer clothes.
[LAST WEEK YOU WERE QUOTING BATMAN. YOU ARE NOT HIM, PARTNER, YOU NEVER WILL BE BATMAN, OR RYAN GOSLING, OR PATRICK BATEMAN! GET A JOB!] Ddraig returned, scolding the teenager like an irritated mother.
"FUCK YOU, DDRAIG! YOU WOULDN'T GET IT! YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A LONE WOLF, BLACKPILLED SIGMA MALE!" Issei cursed back, his left brow twitching in anger, as the teenager rushed to grab his schoolbag, donning a pair of designer sunglasses, and exited his home, making his way toward school. " I'M THE TOP G OF KUOH ACADEMY, THEY CALL ME THE BLOOD DRAGON OF VENGEANCE! I AM BATMAN, RYAN GOSLING, PATRICK BATEMAN AND TYLER DURDEN!"
[Sure, that's cool, Partner, but everyone's looking at you, LOL!] Ddraig muttered bag with a coy chuckle, as Issei glanced around, realizing that he'd attracted the attention of the morning commuters, all staring at him with horror.
"I'm going to include you in my suicide note."
[Bro killing himself over a fictional character, LOL!]
"It wasn't that bad, come on, Kaichou." Issei's cooed out, his eyes wandering aimlessly across the student council's office, leaning back against a black, leather recliner, his feet aimlessly resting atop the desk, much to the woman in front of him's displeasure.
"Hyoudou, you assaulted fourty students with a Bokken. Most of them have bruises, cuts and one even has a broken nose, and you're telling me you feel zero regret, remorse or sympathy for them?" Sona responded passive aggressively, her hands placed around her hips, as the young student council president glared daggers into the uncaring eyes of the delinquent of a man lazing across her.
"What? No?" Issei responded with sudden heartstruck emotion in his throat, much to her surprise. "Of course I feel terrible!"
"Well, I'm glad you feel some responsibility for your acti-" Sighed the dark-haired girl in response.
"I feel terrible that I got blood on my Versace shoes. You know how much these cost? And Matsuda tore through my twenty-thousand Yen pants! That shit isn't cheap to replace!" Issei roared back, pointing toward the small droplet of dried blood on the tip of his dark leather shoes. "This is ITALIAN leather, Kaichou. Matsuda owes me a blood debt."
"Oh my fucking God. It's a pair of shoes, Hyoudou. Get over it." She returned, dismissing his anger, only for Issei to slam his fist on the table in response, yet, Sona remained unfazed, having grown far too used to the delinquent's antics over the past few months.
"Kaichou, with all due respect, these shoes are worth more than anything else in this office." He retorted back, before taking a long, calming breath and easing himself. "Look, I'll admit I went a little far, but it was in self defense. I was defending the chastity of young innocent women! Surely you'll overlook that!"
Taking a seat in her own chair, Sona refused to entertain the flamboyant delinquent's claims. A report sat atop her desk, recalling the events of the day, primarily that of the blonde-haired, tanned, freak of a teenager sat across her, and how he supposedly managed to assault a vast amount of Kuoh academy's student body. Having grown up in Devil society, the young heiress had grown accustomed to acts of violence, yet this was far out of the ordinary, as she quickly scanned through the report, as her eyes suddenly dropped at the mention of Hyoudou's claims.
"Wait, you weren't lying." Sona muttered back with disbelief "The girls of the Kendo club have attested to your claim in defending them."
"Well, duh." Issei shrugged back, eyes lazily focused on the diamond adjourned watch strapped around his wrist, as he begun to recall the events of the day. "Listen, I saw some of the boys staring through the peephole to the girl's changing rooms, I didn't like it, I tried to stop them, it ended up getting violent. I defended myself, more people got involved, and assumed I was the assaulter, and it just ended up being a bloodbath. Ain't that simple enough?"
"I'm more concerned over how you managed to beat them all and come out unscathed…" Sona muttered back, looking down in frustration. "Do you know what they're all calling you know? They're calling you the Blood Dragon of Kuoh!"
The title only earned a chuckle from Issei, who'd been scrolling through his phone without a care in the world, far too zoned out to pay attention to Sona, occasionally admiring the gothic interior decoration of the student council room, seemingly belonging to something out of a shoujo anime, with how over-the-top the victorian-era decor was from the room.
"I can't lie, that name goes hard as fuck, bro." Issei chuckled back, before his hand slowly inched toward the chess set laying on the table between the two, only for his hand to be slapped away by Sona like one would a fly. "Yo?"
"No chess until you take accountability for your actions." Sona clicked her tongue back, earning a scowl from Issei, whom she interrupted before he could respond. "And no, I will not be calling you by your chess nickname, ever."
"WHY NOT?"
"Who names themselves 'The Chesserine'?"
"You ever played Morrowind, Kaichou? It's a play on the protagonist, known as the Nerevarine, except I'm the prophesied Chess player, hence the Chesserine. The name goes hard as fuck." Issei grinned back with guffaw, rolling his eyes, as the teenager began to grow bored. "Okay, can I go yet?"
"... Not like I can do anything. The principal's let you off because your grades are so high. I don't even know why we let you in here in the first place, but I'm really hoping you change your ways, or leave the school, Hyoudou. I'm genuinely struggling to deal with you." Sona confessed in a serious, concerned-yet-harsh manner.
Nodding back, Issei finally stood out of the chair, turning away and waving the girl off. As much as he enjoyed shamelessly tormenting the student council president, and finding new ways to psychologically torture her, he too, had other things to do, eager to leave. Part of him was concerned that he'd pushed his luck a little too far, fearing consequences for his actions eventually, yet he pushed that thought aside, focusing instead on his next goal - Getting out of here. As the teenager reached toward the door, he heard Sona force out a cough, earning his attention.
"Yes, Shitori-senpai?" Issei murmured back, still facing the door.
"Hyoudou. May I be honest with you for a minute? Not as the student council president, or your senpai, or anything else, but as a concerned student. This question genuinely comes out of worry for you." Came Sona's voice, questioning him in a gentle, prodding manner, surprising Issei.
Her new tone was out-of-character for their usual fox and hound games, with Issei likening himself to a quick, cunning fox, maneuvering through Sona's constant badgering and barking, and each session between them leading to nowhere. Yet for the first time in months, the girl's voice genuinely showed empathy, and care toward him. Whether it was deceptive or not, Issei didn't care, but he was intrigued on her question, deciding to spare her his time.
"Go for it." Issei muttered back in a stoic tone.
"What happened?" She whimpered back in a hushed whisper.
"Fuck you mean 'what happened'. That's too vague." He returned, playing oblivious toward her open-ended questions. The teenager knew exactly what she was referencing, yet he refused to play her game, unless the heiress decided to engage him properly.
"Well, I tried to go about it carefully, but I guess you've always been someone who dwells on specifics." Sona sighed back, before continuing. "Hyoudou, I keep an eye on all students, it's part of my job. Before summer, you were a normal young man, sure, you were a lecherous, bestial pervert, and the bane of women, but you were an innocent, kind-hearted man with friends. Yet, ever since summer, you've returned with all this! The tan, the beach blonde hair, this over-eccentric attitude, the muscles, the obsession with appearance! All of it, where's it coming from? What happened! If you're going through some trouble, just say so!"
Issei remained quiet, as his long, blonde hair cast a shadow over his eyes, hiding any expression away from the inquisitive she-devil. He pondered to himself whether he'd tell her the truth, or let it slide, and weighed out his options. She did show genuine curiosity in him, so the teenager decided to humour her a little, maybe it'd give him points later on.
"You forgot to mention that before last summer, I was at the bottom of my class. Now I have the highest academic scores in my grade, is that a problem too, Shitori-Senpai?" He returned, emphasizing the syllables of her name while he gritted his teeth, as if warning her of the dangerous territory she began to tread on.
"I understand that, and I am very happy for you on that front. If we put aside your behavior… 'Issues', then you're a model student. You present a well-kempt, if not over-the-top appearance, you perform well in school, you no longer perv on girls. While you are known for truancy, and occasional violence, all cases are in self-defence, and your grades and intelligence carry you through it all." She returned, refusing to budge on any of his quips, continuing to dive deeper into his psyche. "I read your file, you know? I understand you may be suffering in silence, but Kuoh Academy always offers support to it's students, especially one as gifted as you. Please, Hyoudou, if you're struggling, let me kno-"
The mention of his file alone had sent waves of raw, unbridled rage coursing throughout the young men, suddenly slamming his fist against the door with enough force to deafen out her whining, before glancing back at her with a horrifyingly eager smile. In contrast to his aggressive body language, and the sheer hatred radiating off every core of his being, Issei presented a playful, eager smile. But it was the smile that made even the noble Devil heiress elicit a mild squeak of fear.
"Shitori-Senpai, or Kaichou, whatever," Issei returned, gritting his teeth with each, and every word, withholding rage. "While I appreciate your concern, never, ever go through my file again without prior knowledge, and with a reasonable excuse. My academics are great, and that should be enough for you not to look into it. Never bring this up with me again, thank you."
"Hyoudou! I just want to help yo-"
"Kaichou." The mention of her name flowing off his tongue sent her shivering, as Sona's voiced died down to a stifling quiet. "While I'm very, very pissed, I'll spare you some information as an appreciation for your concern. Last summer, I had a very, very traumatic event occur. You could say I lost everything. This, all of this? This is what I want to be, who I really am. I've eliminated my old habits, because I want to fit in. I want to be a better man, and I'm really trying my best here. Everything that happens to me, the attacks, the behaviour? This is all the result of toxic people around me who don't want to accept the fact I want to be better. You want to help me? Go after them."
Hyoudou's final words sent a shiver down the Devil's spine, as she nodded silently, to be greeted with a thumbs-up from the flamboyant delinquent, who's body-language instantly died down to his usual, easy-going self with her response, as he gently closed the door as he left the building, leaving Sona deafeningly quiet, and murmuring to herself.
"I can fix him." She hummed back in a whimsical voice, her mind replaying each, and every image of Issei's face from the past five minutes.
"Stupid fucking bitch." Issei grunted to himself, pacing down the streets of Kuoh, heading home. The passersby often turned to stare at him, and while he couldn't blame them, it was still irritating.
The man known as Hyoudou Issei, the designer loving, fashionable, obsession obsessed narcissist knew exactly what he was doing. Every inch of his body, every move, every article of clothing, his hair, his face, and even his scent, were catered toward maximum appeal. While it wasn't perfect, he'd come as close as he possibly could, so it was no wonder he often got glances from passerbys. Even his gym routine was based around ensuring his body had the ideal proportions for aesthetic purposes, instead of caring about strength. To Issei, Ddraig was all the strength he'd ever need. His Charisma, wealth, and mind were the arsenal he'd utilized.
But a man as obsessed and meticulous with a routine too, had his immense flaws. The closer one is to 'perfection', the more likely his mind is to be broken, Issei was no exception. The teenager was easy to 'snaps', where he'd often find himself lured into near-psychotic breakdowns, and engaging in self-destructive behavior till his mind returned to it's usual obsessive routines.
Fiddling through his dark, leather satchel, the young man located the pack of cigarettes lodged deep within his backpack, as if it were his emergency stash, alongside a lighter. As he eagerly flipped the top of the packaging open, he pursed his lips to prop the butt of a cigarette into his mouth, eagerly lighting it away. His mind wandered on it's own, and his legs were on autopilot, going down the usual route home.
"One of these days, I need to buy a car." The teenager thought to himself, as he took a long, refreshing puff of cigarette smoke, feeling the blessing of nicotine ease his mind up into a slow, relaxed pace. "Fucking Shitori, sometimes I want to end her life."
[I fail to see why you don't.] Ddraig added on, yet Issei was far too relaxed to scold him for surprising the teenager as usual, instead he nodded back, leaning atop the Kuoh bridge and smoking away.
"Killing Shitori, or the car part, partner?" He returned, as images of a car driving towards the girl in mention flashed through his head for a minute, earning his scowl of anger, much to Ddraig's delight. "You've got a fucked up sense of humour."
[Being forced to deal with you does that to a Dragon.] Ddraig chuckled back, before continuing. [We've come a long way since that incident, haven't we?]
"Yeah, we have. Still haven't carried out our vengeance, but it'll happen." Issei nodded back, reminiscing with the dragon over the past. "That fight was fucking fun, I have no regrets over it."
[We, the Sekiryuutei, or as you call us, the 'Blood Dragon of Vengeance', live to fight. Be it Man, Monster, or God. You feel good, because you fulfill your natural instincts.] Ddraig explained eagerly, continuing to chuckle away at his partner, much to Issei's chagrin, yet the boy laughed back too. [ I await the day you engage in delusional rants once you taste a woman, boy!]
"Ain't happening, partner. I'm too schizo for that." Issei hummed back in response, tipping out his cigarette ash on the floor, as his eyes spotted a small figure walking towards him from a distance. "Maybe when I'm in my twenties, and I actually have my shit together. "
[What about the girl coming over here?] Ddraig gestured to him, he too, taking note of the girl walking toward him in the distance. [How about it partner, as our friend Mustafa says, engage in Chat Chat?]
"Ddraig, I beg you, just because you learned a new word doesn't mean you need to use it." Issei grunted back, rolling his eyes in second-hand embarrassment for the Dragon. "Especially not Turkish slang, it makes zero sense."
[But partner! Chat Chat refers to the act of sexual intercourse, no? Surely, the girl over there would suit you?] The Dragon whined back in irritation. [Or… Does your taste in women reflect your browsing history… Indeed, I am concerned over the futanar-]
"AYO SHUT UP MAN, THAT WAS CURIOSITY, I DON'T SWING THAT WAY BRO! NO HOMO, THE FUTANARI CHICKS WAS JUST CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS!" Issei stammered back in response, as the mention of the his 'browsing history' sent him into a panicked frenzy.
[But Partner, I saw the art you'd downloaded on your laptop… That was, as the young Humans say, very 'sus'. I understand losing your parents is difficult, but to call another female 'Mommy'? That is quite concerning, it stains my honour!]
"Bro, it's not what you think. We will have a conversation about this later. I think this chick wants something." He said, shutting out the Dragon, and turned toward the girl facing him, staring him up and down with surprise.
Refusing to say anything, the teenager squinted his eyes, placing his tongue at the top of his mouth to accentuate his jawline, and present sharp eyes, like that of a hunter. Issei sucked in his cheeks tightly, emphasizing his high, well-defined cheekbones, as the boy glanced up and down at the girl, scrutinizing her features. Long, dark hair, shorter than average height, decent breasts, wearing a school uniform, and a nervous, panicky expression, all made him highly skeptical of this girl's intentions.
But Issei too, would bring out skepticism in women, so he couldn't be completely unfair toward this poor girl. The teenager's entire appearance was roused in more fraud than a pornstar. His light-blue contact lenses, his dyed blonde-hair, the spray-tan and the shoulder pads he wore all were done exclusively to emphasize every inch of his body. The padded underwear to highlight his crotch, and his body that was built off a mix of abusing the boosted gear, and substance abuse were a testament to how superficial the teenager was. His appearance probably set the girl off, perhaps she thought he was too good to be true, catching a man like him smoking a cigarette at a balcony, looking like a cross between a playboy and a Yakuza member.
Nevertheless, he needed an excuse to vent out some stress, and had decided to take out today's accumulated tensions out on this seemingly innocent girl. Perhaps she'd lost a bet, and was forced to ask him out, though her uniform didn't seem to belong to any school in Kuoh. Thousands of thoughts flow through Issei's mind, before he grunted, clicked his tongue and stifled them, opting to go with whatever God had presented before him.
"Yo, does that ass fart?" He grunted toward her with a swagger in his body language, his arms swaying casually, as he took another puff of his cigarette.
"I… Uh, what?" The girl stammered before him, an embarrassed blush appearing on her face.
"I said," Issei grunted, taking a step toward her, as his lips moved just an inch away from her ear, as his voice dropped to a husky whisper. "Do it fart?"
Hyoudou Issei had a reputation across all schoolgirls of Kuoh, for being an 'untouchable' man, his appearance contrasted with his behavior, and his shameless, unabashed confidence to say the most vile things without a care in the world made women steer clear of him, mainly due to intentional action on Issei's part.
Yet, Amaano Yuuma was so starstruck by Issei's casual, uncaring behaviour, that the girl had burst into a giggling fit, much to Issei's surprise, as he took off his sunglasses, to reveal his bright, blue eyes. She, too, was surprised by this. It seemed that the boy who'd once been an average Japanese teenager had a dramatic appearance change, no longer being the young man she'd been assigned to, but something else entirely.
"What the hell?" Yuuma burst out into laughter, a tear streaming down her cheek, as she shook her head and let her faux-shy demeanour shatter into nothingness, instead looking at Issei with a coy smirk. "Do you talk to all girls this way?"
"Nah." Issei shrugged back, flashing a coy smile at her, causing the girl to blush. He knew he was handsome, he had to be, he'd forced himself to be, after all. "Just the cute ones."
"You definitely use that line on every girl." The girl brushed his pick-up line off with a wave of her hand, before continuing, taking a step toward him and getting on her tiptoes. "So, you're Hyoudou Issei, huh?"
"Do I owe you money?" Issei questioned her, as the girl shook her head, before nodding. "Then I am Hyoudou Issei."
Issei was aware of her techniques, and respected them. The girl's initial plan was to charm him with the shy, innocent girl personality, but he knew better. He knew what girls were like, and that personality was far too obvious for a seasoned, self-proclaimed 'rizz-god'. But, the ability to shift personalities and still maintain a conversation with him was impressive, as he nodded back.
"Okay, that's weird. Last time I saw you, you looked very different." The girl noted back, as her once high-pitched falsetto voice went down to a more mature, feminine voice, one that did not belong to a girl like this, yet Issei couldn't be too surprised, he'd come across far worse. "You… Changed, didn't you?"
"If you're a stalker, just say it. I don't fuck with creepy hoes, that always goes bad." Issei rolled his eyes at her attempt to rise him up, much to her dismay.
"No, no! I mean, you look great! You've really glowed up!" Yuuma chirped back, doubling down on her compliments.
"So you saying I only look good now? You only care about appearance? Man, fuck outta here with that weak ass shit." He responded with an uninterested glance, flicking his finger at her. "Bitches really got no rizz."
"Oh my god, just take the fucking compliment. I'm clearly trying to hit on you, and you're just refusing me at all costs. Why can't you be like other men and just take the ego-boost and let me talk to you?" Yuuma began to sigh in irritation at him, resting her forehead against her palm and gritting her teeth, earning a chuckle from Issei.
"Cause I ain't like other guys, duh." He reminded her, as he laid arms back, leaning against the railing of the bridge.
"That's what all guys say." Yuuma responded in a quiet sigh.
"But you said it, not me." He reminded her in return, taking pleasure in watching the girl grow more, and more irritated with every passing word.
"You know what? True, you're right, let me start over." Yuuma nodded, forcing a smile back up, and taking a step toward him. Taking a deep breath, the girl began to shout at the top of her lungs "Hyoudou Issei, I like you!"
Looking up at Issei, her jaw dropped, seeing the teenager far too engrossed in his phone, two airpods in either ear, as she began to wave at him angrily in an attempt to grab his attention, before Issei lazily pocketed his phone and unpieced his airpods, looking at her with an aloof grin.
"Oh sorry! Was reading the news, wanna say that again?" He grinned sheepishly, flashing his sharp eyes at her.
"Fine. Can we please go out?" Yuuma pleaded with him, fluttering her eyelids at him, as Issei glanced back with a surprised expression.
"But we're like, already outside?" He quipped, holding back a smirk as the girl began to grip her left fist tightly in withheld rage.
"Issei, I really like you, can we have a date?" She pleaded again, only for Issei to shrug.
"Nah, I bought tons of dates from my trip to the middle east. They're good fruits, but they're way too high in calories, y'know?" He grinned again, dismissing the girl's feeble attempts at courting.
"... Why is this so hard? Fine, let me try a different approach" Yuuma whimpered to herself, sighing, as the girl looked at him with a newfound determination, raw passion in her eyes. "Look, Issei. I have a huge crush on you, I've always liked you, and I've now only just managed to gain the confidence to act on my feelings. I see you here everyday on your own, smoking a cigarette. It makes my heart ache. Call it my selfishness, but whatever, I'm a girl in love, I can be selfish. I don't want to see you lonely anymore, I want to be the one by your side, and make you mine. Let me be yours, Issei, I want to be your lover. Please?"
He couldn't lie to himself, if he was any other man, that would've broken his mind in an instant. Yuuma was definitely attractive, and she knew it. She flaunted her body, her personality, and every bit about her on purpose. Her words struck a chord within him - He was lonely, but half by choice, and the other through no fault of his own. Fate itself had given him a bad hand, and he'd done his best with it. Yet, he was still a young man, a young, impressionable, lonely man who craved a certain level of affection. Issei knew better, deep down, his rational mind was screaming at him to reject the girl, run, and never speak to her again, but his primal, lust-addled, teenage mind overcame it, and opted to give this a try. Perhaps fate had something good in store for him, just this once.
"Sure." He shrugged back, passing his phone to her. "Put your number in."
"...That really worked?" Yuuma cooed back, eyes wide in surprise, as she dialled her number in, before passing the phone back to it's owner.
"You were really set on trying to get me to go out with you." He noted back, as he read over her name in his contacts. "Yuuma Amano, huh? Cute name. Anyway, to me, you're a total fraud. I know this is complete bullshit, but I'll roll with it, cause why not?"
Yuuma's expression changed for a split second, and were it not for his agile mind, and sharp reflexes, Issei would've never caught it, but his words had caught the girl off-guard, her brow twitching, giving away her true intentions. He honestly didn't care - After all, he was Hyoudou Issei, the top bachelor of Kuoh.
"I'll make you fall for me! Just wait, soon enough, you'll be all mine!" She flashed an innocent, toothy grin at him, and pointed a finger directly at his heart, much to his surprise.
"You say that to every boy you been with?" Issei chuckled back, folding his arms and smirking. "Real question, how many dudes you been with?"
"You're my firs-" She replied cheerfully, only to be interrupted by Issei's hand ending her response.
"Cut the bullshit. All women are hoes. Every girl has their little secret, especially the ones that act innocent and dainty like you." He hissed back. "I want the real answer."
"I've lost count." Yuuma muttered back, glancing up at the sky as she began to count on her fingers.
"Fucking hell." Muttered Issei, as he picked up his bag and began to glance off in the direction of his home. "You're insane."
"Coming from you? You look like something of a hentai doujin!" Yuuma roared back angrily at his slut-shaming comments, only for Issei to chuckle back. "What? Okay then, how many girls have you been with?"
"I'm an incel, baby! I'm stone cold!" Issei shrugged back in a cheerful voice, as he began to walk off into the distance, waving Yuuma away. "I ain't never felt the touch of a bitch in my life, for real ON GANG."
"Wait, where are you going!" Yuuma called out into the distance, attempting to grab his attention, yet the teenager simply shrugged her off, disappearing into the distance. "Call me!"
"I'll think about it."
"Issei, what the fuck?" Came Yuuma's snarl at him, as the youthful teenager chuckled back, shrugging shamelessly. "What kind of man keeps a girl waiting ten minutes past their scheduled date time, especially when you could've at least messaged me."
Issei stood there shrugging, clad in a pair of ripped, skinny jeans, dark, leather boots and a t-shirt that had a rather peculiar set of words in English plastered across his chest. The same Versace shades rested on his ears, as his eyes were still focused on the mystical, strange occult business card he'd picked up from the floor on his way to meet Yuuma.
"Make your wishes come true, huh?" He thought to himself, as his eyes glanced over the strange symbol atop the card for a final time, before pocketing it. "What a load of shit."
"Ah, yeah, my bad." He replied, slightly uninterested, trying to hide the fact that he'd completely forgotten about the date. "I kinda just got distracted."
"And what is with your shirt? What kind of 'slogan' is that? It's gross!" Yuuma said, pointing to the t-shirt he wore, as Issei chuckled back.
"Oh, you noticed? I got this from some Albanian guy. The words say 'Enjoy Sex!'" He replied enthusiastically. "It's a sign of what's to come, Yum-yum."
"Yum-yum?" His date blushed at his sudden affectionate pet-name, stuttering nervously, before grasping ahold of his arm aggressively and leading him through the busy Kuoh streets. "Whatever, come on. I want to actually do something."
"Relax, cutie." Issei's husky, low voice whispered back into her ear, setting her cheeks ablaze with an even deeper blush of crimson. "We got all the time in the world.
"Can you stop trying to rizz me up this early into the date? I'm still mad at you for coming late." Yuuma muttered back half-heartedly, as the couple walked through a busy alleyway filled with an assortment of stores.
Kuoh was a quaint, humble town. Fairly normal people, living fairly normal lives. It was no surprise that an attractive couple like him and Yuuma caught stares, but Issei paid them no mind. It felt nice to be wanted, even if her reasons were vain, and probably fake, but he enjoyed the feeling of a warm body coupled with his own, deciding to enjoy every second of it.
As the two walked through the stores, his eyes watched over Yuuma's facial expressions, observing how her eyes lit up more, and more, as each fashion store they walked past's price tags grew more, and more expensive. Deciding to stop her, the couple glanced outside an illustrious boutique of European origin. Issei recognized the brand, he'd often glanced over it, yet the name of it was far too low-class for a man of his tastes, who only spend bundles of Yen on top fashion-designer names.
"I see you looking, wanna check it out?" He suggested to her, only for his date to shake her head frantically. "Why not?"
"Issei, I do not have that kind of money." She replied back, rolling her eyes at his behavior.
"Nothing wrong with a little window shopping, come on." He winked back, forcing the girl into the boutique.
"Does this swimsuit make my butt look big?" Yuuma cooed toward him, flashing her body to him, clad in nothing but a tight, undersized swimsuit that the girl had purposefully picked out to entice him.
Yet, the man known as Hyoudou Issei was a man with an iron will, and a Rod harder than steel. He'd abandoned the years of pornography, but the effects stayed the same. His heart, and soul, while pure, were far too accustomed to seeing women in outfits that should stay in the bedroom. His stoic eyes glanced up and down at her, before shaking his head.
"No. Not at all." He muttered back silently, as Yuuma sighed at his lack of expression, returning to scrolling through his phone.
"God, you're boring! I just wanted you to tell me my ass is small." Yuuma spat back, clenching her fist tightly.
"That swimsuit doesn't make your butt look big, because your butt itself is big." He replied back, far too engrossed in his phone to even bat an eyelid at the offended teenager.
"Why would you say that? That's so mean!"
"Who said it was an insult? I like big girls." He shrugged back.
"I hate you. Anyway, I really wish I could buy this, but I'm so broke right now." Yuuma whined back, sighing in sadness, as her voice echoed from the changing room, the sound of zips, bras, and clothes being wished and thrown around dampening out her voice.
"How much is it?" Issei muttered back, the mention of price having caught his attention with a smirk, as he began to hatch a plot in his mind.
"One hundred thousand yen." She sighed back, exiting the changing room, yet still holding onto the swimsuit with disappointment.
"Cool, I'll pay for it." The young man grunted back, suddenly grasping the girl by her rear and leading her forward.
The sudden change in dynamics between them sent Yuuma into a flustered, confused state, her voice changing to a weak, whimpering state, as the couple found themselves walking toward the counter, and met with a cashier far older than them, as her eyes scrutinized each of them, particularly on Issei, before smiling provocatively at him.
"So, that'll be one hundred thousand, is that cash or ca-" She replied, before his voice was silenced by the deafening sound of a wad of bills suddenly being slapped onto the counter.
"Cash." Issei interrupted, as the cashier nodded silently and began to count the bills, before bagging the swimsuit and handing it back to them.
"I am very jealous of you! Tell me your secrets, girl!" The cashier whispered toward Yuuma, before glancing back at Issei. "Would you like a recei-"
"No. Come on Yuuma." Issei interrupted, as the two suddenly left the building in a quiet manner. "Man, that girl was totally checking me out, LOL!"
"ISSEI WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Came Yuuma's sudden, bottled up scream at him, as the teenager winced back, before roaring into laughter at her. "Stop laughing! Why'd you do that, and HOW'd you do that?"
"You looked cute in it, would've felt bad if I didn't get to see you in it more often." He hummed back, flashing her a playful smile, as Yuuma felt her heart melt a little everytime she looked up into his face. "Besides, money ain't a problem for me."
"Your parents must love you, huh?" She stammered back in confusion, attempting to toy with him, only to be met with a deadpan expression from Issei.
"My parents are dead." He spoke in a grim, hushed voice for a split-second, Yuuma's face dropping to a silent nod, before his voice returned to it's usual, care-free tone. "Anyway, ignore the Batman voice. I just don't like talking about it. I'm hungry, let's go eat."
Laying back against the seats of the booth, Issei rested his elbows upon the table, a mug of dark, black coffee resting by his side, leaning his chin atop his hands, as those sharp, blue eyes stared down at Yuuma head-to-toe, studying, examining, and observing her, watching the violet-eyed girl slowly scoop up spoonfuls of her parfait, till she finally grasped Issei's ice-cold stare, glancing back faintly.
"Are you… Not going to eat anything, Issei?" Yuuma glanced back with a faint smile, tilting her head to the side playfully.
"Not hungry." He muttered back, gesturing toward the pack of cigarettes resting on the table, positioned next to his coffee.
"Smoking's bad for you, but I can't lecture you on that, we all have our own vices." She nodded back softly, returning to her parfait, before pausing yet again. "Can I ask why you're staring at me?"
"You're interesting to watch." Issei hummed back, rolling his head to the side, as Yuuma inched back into her seat, half creeped from his statement. "I guess, you're easy on the eyes is all."
"Finally fallen for my charm, hmph?" She proudly declared, as Issei hummed back in disagreement. "Then what about me is so alluring to you?"
"I'm trying to figure out what about me is so appealing to you, and what makes you tick." He returned her response, continuing to stare away, as Yuuma entrenched a hand across the table, gesturing for him to grasp it, as he hesitatingly pushed forward, as the two locked hands, fingers interlocking with one another.
The feeling of holding a girl's hand had always been far too intimate for Issei to bear with. Behind the ice-cold, false exterior he put up, his heart beat frantically. The loving touch of a woman was one of his only weaknesses, having hardly ever experienced it in his life, yet he pursued forward, opting to build experience with the opposite sex, and delve into the abyss that was Yuuma Amano, no matter what it cost him.
He could only pray it didn't cost his purity.
"Do you really want to know, Issei? It might be disappointing to you." Came Yuuma's soft, sensual whisper. Here, she had the upper hand, thinking she'd easily melt the boy's heart and finally claim it for herself. To think, she finally had the elusive Hyoudou Issei all to herself, a feeling that made her ego flush up even further. "You really, really want to know?"
"Of course I do, whatever I'm doing, it's working. I need to understand myself to improve my rizz." He hummed back in a sing-song voice, his sunglasses hiding any expression from his now widely opened eyes.
"The truth is, I fell for you not because of your looks, as nice as they were, nor was it your style, or anything else you work on. I fell for you way before that." Yuuma explained, her smooth, honeyed words began to worm their way into his mind, as Issei felt her grip tighten around his hand, his tense arms slowly relaxing, and giving into her own. "It was that you looked so lonely, your eyes, your body language. You have this kindness around you, that no one else seems to recognize. Like, that innocent boy-next-door kind of vibe."
"Bullshit." He hissed back in a harsh, cold voice, yet Yuuma displayed no response, instead, she continued forward, gripping his hand tighter, and smiled onward. "I'm an evil fucking psychopath."
"You might pretend you're this tough, cold-hearted gangster. You can walk, talk, and dress like one, but it doesn't change the fact that you're still a young, kind man. You have a good, pure soul, Issei. That's what I was drawn to. I know you, Issei, that's why I want to be by your side." She continued to hum away.
It had always intrigued, and horrified the Sekiryuutei at how powerful words were. He'd always solved problems through violence, through his fists, and occasionally his own words. Issei understood how powerful the tongue could be, over the blade, pen, or any other tool. One could defeat thousands of enemies with words alone, where even the Red Heavenly Dragon's righteous flames could not. Yet, to be on the receiving end of such mind-breaking torture that were the sweet words of Yuuma Amano was something Issei had never believed he could encounter. It took every ounce of raw willpower, and conjuring up the thousands of past, traumatic memories, the hours of sigma hypnosis videos, and the violent, bloody fantasies in his head just to keep him from falling for her like that.
"You know nothing about me, Yuuma." Issei cursed back, attempting to shift his hand away, yet her grip was stronger than anything he'd encountered before, as if this girl had supernatural like strength. Well, he knew she did, but he didn't expect it to be this strong.
"I know I don't. I have no right to pretend I do, and I'm sorry for that, Issei, my love." Yuuma nodded back. "I don't know what made you turn into what you are now, what made you so cold, so dark, and spiteful, but… Maybe I've been there too? Maybe I can help you?"
"You can't fix something that's not broken, Yuuma. I'm perfectly fine." Issei spat back, tensing his arm and snatching his hand back with a level of strength that even the girl's gorilla-like strength was surprised by. "But, I appreciate the thought and care. You're sweet."
"Issei, I just want you to be mine. Is that wrong?" She cried back in a silent, whimpering voice, pleading with him, yet the young man had grown far too distasteful.
Her words, as sweet as they were, were his anathema. The cold, icy exterior he'd cultivated was there for a reason, the walls he placed around his mind, his behaviour, his routine, and his lifestyle were all key toward his fragile psyche. Hyoudou Issei was not a sane man, nor was he totally insane. The young man tethered between the lines of psychosis on a tight rope, with every passing acquaintance's influence on him a dangerous threat to the balance. While he'd play around and humour Yuuma, her words reminded him of who he was, and what he was. But deep down, the boy that was once Issei, the optimist, the idealist, and the romanticist wanted to continue this false-love, and play a part in this charade that was their date. He'd hoped that maybe one day, this would bloom into true love, perhaps she'd be the one to help him heal, to stand by him as he returned to the man he once was, or someone better.
So he'd give her a chance.
"It's very, very selfish. Especially on the first date, to demand that I just become your boyfriend so quickly, Yuuma." Issei chastised her, as the girl glanced down with a defeated nod, before his tone lurched up into a radiant, positive, humming voice. "But I like honesty, and you may be selfish, but your selfish reasons benefit me. Besides, you're fun to annoy, I want to get to know you better too."
"Wait, so you'll reall-" She suddenly chimed up, looking at him with wide, heartfelt eyes.
"Ay, I said we're going to keep going on dates, I didn't say we're official yet. Besides, I need to do this properly, and slowly." He interrupted her with a hand, before inching forward onto the table. "Yuuma, I'm a mess. I'm fucked up, I'm deranged, insane, whatever else. There's a lot about me you don't know, or that you'll ever know. If you're that serious about me, we'll do this together, and I promise that if you're ready to deal with that, I'll give you all of me."
"You mean that, don't you?" Her eyes practically sparkled with hope, beaming at him, as Issei smiled back and nodded. "Then I'll do it. I'm… Really happy right now, Issei."
"For the first time in a while, me too. You're cute." He nodded back.
"Okay, I have a question, what part about me do you like?" She steadily changed the topic, glancing at him flirtatiously, to which Issei shrugged back.
"Your smile." He grinned coyly.
"Are you fucking serious?" Yuuma remarked with guffaw.
"The most beautiful curve on a woman's body is her smile, my Serbian uncle taught me that." Issei smirked back playfully, flashing her a wink.
"That is the corniest line I've ever heard, and since when did you have a Serbian Uncle?"
"Listen, do not question uncle Dragan, last time someone did that, he got buried in the Danube river." Issei whispered quietly, as a waiter walked past them, unfazed by their conversation.
"UNCLE DRAGAN?" Yuuma roared back in surprise.
"HE'S A WAR CRIMINAL, OKAY? NOT ALL OF US CAN BE INNOCENT TEENAGERS, YUUMA. HAVE SOME SYMPATHY!" Cried Issei, slamming his fist atop the table.
"HOW IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FEEL SYMPATHY FOR A WAR CRIMINAL?" She shouted back, barely able to reach for his neck.
"OH ALLAH, THE WOMEN YOU PUT ON THIS EARTH ARE JUDGING OTHERS WHEN THEY THEMSELVES HAVE COMMITTED SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!" Cried Issei to the ceiling, his hands held together in a prayer symbol
"WHY ARE YOU PRAYING TO ALLAH? I THOUGHT YOU WERE JAPANESE!"
"BITCH I REVERTED!" He screamed out, pulling a set of golden prayer beads from his pocket.
"GOLD PRAYER BEADS? LET ME GUESS, ARE THEY FROM GUCCI TOO?" Yuuma remarked sarcastically.
"Versace, actually. LOL!"
"STOP SAYING LOL OUT LOUD THIS IS A FUCKING STORY, IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!"
"IT WORKS EXACTLY HOW I FUCKING WANT TO BECAUSE I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER AND I GET TO DO WHAT I WANT! LOL!"
"You really are a fucking schizo."
"Love you, Yumyum!~"
Kuoh had an impressive aesthetic for a fairly new Japanese town. He found himself walking hand-in-hand with Yuuma, as the sun slowly began to set. The only sound echoing between them was that of their footsteps walking against the park's brick paving, and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance.
The feeling of her hand gently holding his own was relieving, and for the first time in a long time, Issei felt at peace, as if he truly belonged here, and nothing else mattered. Whenever he took a glance at Raynare's face, her bright, violet eyes, her pursed lips and her impressive body, he felt like he found love in them, as if one day, he could cultivate it, and cherish this girl for the rest of his life.
"Despite how you, you're actually fun to be around, and sweet, Issei." Yuuma whispered into his ear, as he nodded back in approval. "I really enjoyed today, so thank you. You know how to make a day interesting."
"I got that Ohio Gyatt W Rizz, baby. Of course I do." He replied in his usual sing-song voice, before Raynare stopped in the path, the sight of the park's centrepiece, it's marble fountain, just a few feet away from them.
"As cheesy as your pick-up lines are, they've grown on me… Like a tumour." She giggled back, as Issei began to pick up that this girl's humour was beginning to become like his own, or more complimentary, if anything. He worried he'd begun to corrupt her, until she took a few steps away from him, right by the fountain and stared at him blankly.
Yet, that was when things suddenly felt amiss. The sound of the birds had come to a dead silence, even the faint breeze paused. As if everything in the world had paused, but him and Yuuma, but not in the romantic sense, rather, it was as if every primal instinct in him was screaming for him to run, to escape. Even the boosted gear itself was warning him of impending danger, but Issei's bolstered confidence, and with his ego at an all time high, he couldn't fathom what could possibly be a threat to him.
Other than the girl staring at him with lustful, evil eyes.
"Issei, to commemorate our first date, would you do something for me?" Yuuma stared at him innocent, in a chirpish voice, her hands held behind her back.
"Nah, no way. This bitch is a fucking succubus and she wants to give me that kiss of death, or worse, the succsucc. AW HELL NAH!" He thought to himself with a chuckle.
[Partner, I was having fun watching this, but I think you need to take this seriously. I'm beginning to fear for you.] Ddraig warned him softly, yet Issei shook the Dragon's caution to the side.
"Ddraig, I'm probably the strongest creature in Kuoh right now. There isn't anything that could possibly hur-" He reassured the Dragon, only to be interrupted by Yuuma's voice.
"Would you die for me, Issei?" She sheepishly said to him with a faint smile, as Issei's face remained cool, and as stoic as ever.
"Forgive me, Ddraig, I am sorry. I'm never doubting you again." He replied apologetically, as he glanced toward Yuuma, taking off his sunglasses and pocketing them.
"I'm sorry Yuuma, I think I misheard that, you mind running that by me again?" He responded, though fully aware of every word she said, yet the teenager needed to stall for time.
On the other hand, the girl happily skipped toward him, burying her face up against his neck, as her lips were only inches away from his ear. Her hot, heavy breath brushed up against him, and his nose was filled with the scent of rose, whether it was her natural scent of perfume, Issei didn't know, though he was suddenly filled with the urge to buy a new perfume. Pushing the thought aside, he began to plan in his head over his next move, he needed to stall for time before being able to defend himself, yet it looked like he was cornered.
Before he could even respond, his eyes widened at the scene before him. In a flash of purple energy, Yuuma's body began to disintegrate and transform. Her clothes stripped, and in place, a taller, more mature version of the girl began to appear, a pair of massive, dark, crow-like wings protruded from her back, alongside something akin to an outfit out of a pornographic movie, like a dark g-string, hardly covering anything whatsoever.
"Her ass got bigger, nice." He muttered to himself, before looking up at the newly transformed Yuuma, and shrugging.
"Eh, knew it." Issei shrugged back, as 'Yuuma' began to glance at him with panic, a drop of sweat trickling down her cheek.
"Wait, you knew the entire time?" She looked back in a hesitant manner, fearing whether the teenager had been setting her up the entire time.
"Of course I did, I knew you were a fallen Angel the entire time." Issei explained, as he lowered his voice, jutting his chaw and squinting his eyes, before taking a step toward her. "Because I've fallen for an Angel like you."
"I'm about to murder you, and you're still trying to hit on me?" Yuuma chuckled back, shaking her head, before she snapped her fingers, causing pure, raw, red light to materialize in her left hand, taking the shape of a spear. "I'll cut it short, since you've been fun. While we had a cute date, my name's Raynare, I'm a Fallen Angel, and I was assigned to kill you. Sorry, Issei!"
"Raynare, eh? Cute name, suits you." He continued, shrugging back at her, refusing to show any expression whatsoever.
"Oh my God, will you ever stop trying to flirt with me?" Raynare muttered back with an irritated sigh, as Issei chuckled back, placing his hands up apologetically.
"Ah, sorry, sorry. You know, you look so much better like this, couldn't help it." He explained defensively. "So like, you're going to kill me, right?"
"That's right. Don't take it personally, it's just work. I will treasure the swimsuit you bought me though, consider it my way of always remembering you." She explained empathetically, albeit the crazed, wild expression in her eyes said otherwise.
"Yeah, sure, I don't mind." Issei hummed back, earning a glance of confusion from the fallen Angel.
"Wait, you don't mind being killed? You're for real, right?" She looked back at him with a bewildered expression, only for Issei to stare back, before she sighed and gave up. "Well, you are crazy, I should've expected you to be suicidal too, my apologies for that."
"It's all good. I just wish I got a little more, you know? I was at least expecting a kiss, or something." He explained to her with a disappointing, long pang in his voice, as Raynare rubbed her chin with her finger and hummed, before floating down onto the ground, and taking a step toward him.
"You know what? That's actually fair. I should've given you a kiss, a kiss of death would be fitting for a man like you. That sound fair to you, Issei? A kiss for your life?" The fallen angel hummed suggestively, as the sound of her black stilettos clicking against the ground echoed with every passing second.
"I'm a dead man anyway, it'd be stupid not take a kiss from a total Mommy." He returned with an eager grin, earning a giggle from her, as she began to walk toward him.
Issei's heart began to beat frantically. For all his strength, his charm, and intelligence, he'd never planned for something this absurd to be happening to him. He panicked, more than anything, unable to show it on his face, perhaps due to forcing himself to spend so much time hiding his facial expressions from others, that he'd actually lost the ability to genuinely convey them. Here, it was a benefit, as Raynare was fooled by his relaxed demeanour. Yet, he needed power, the young man was aware that the only thing that'd possibly save his life would be a power up from Ddraig.
But Sacred Gears were driven by raw emotion, longing, and most importantly, desire. The teenager had abandoned most concepts of desire in his pursuit of other things, yet the boy that once was Hyoudou Issei still lingered on. In his most dire moment, the teenager could sense him, feel him resonating within the deepest crevices of his cold, dark soul, filling it with warmth. He knew that the only way to truly live on, was to embrace the past, and to accept himself for what he truly was, even if for a moment. By giving into this once carnal, bestial desire, he'd have the power needed to win.
As Raynare finally approached him, she pursed her lips, her eyes closed, only for Issei to suddenly act out his plans. It was as if something inside him had snapped, and raw instinct had taken over instead, rather than aim for her lips, or face, his hands instinctively glid to something round, squishy, and soft. He watched as those violet eyes he'd once found himself victim to widened in shock, yet the sensation of raw, intense euphoria began to overwhelm his shaking body, as his hands gripped tighter, and tighter around Raynare's bosom, shamelessly groping them.
"OPPAI, OPPAI, OPPAI!" Came the roaring, childish voice of his past self screaming his heart out, buzzing down the back of his head.
"Oi, shut the FUCK UP! I can't lie though, this does feel good… In fact… HOLY SHIT!" He screamed back at the voice, only to be silenced by the sudden feeling of raw, intense power coursing through his body.
Gone was Raynare, gone was the park, gone was anything in his surroundings. Issei found himself floating amidst the void, every sensation in his body gone, yet completely present. It felt like time itself, nor space existed here. Only him, and the boosted gear having finally materialised by his side for a split second, yet it felt like eons.
Suddenly, he found himself flung back to the real world, onto the ground, glancing at the massive light spear lodged into his stomach, yet he felt no pain. In fact, Issei felt nothing but sheer bliss, as if he'd attained Nirvana itself.
"Once a pervert, always a pervert. Die alone, Hyoudou Issei, useless h- Wait, what?" Raynare's chided, as she began to walk away, only to be interrupted by the feeling of raw, intense power clamouring behind her.
[WELSH DRAGON OVERBOOST!]
[PARTNER, WHILE YOU MAY BE THE STRONGEST HOST I'VE EVER SEEN, I AM DISGUSTED AND I REALLY, REALLY WISH I HAD A BODY TO BURN YOU DOWN RIGHT RIGHT NOW.]
"SHUT UP, DDRAIG."
"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?" Raynare screamed in complete horror at the sight in front of her.
It was as if Issei himself had ascended, raw energy surrounding his body powerful enough to send his hair flowing back, his body shaking, quivering, as he found himself floating in mid air. The teenager cackled maniacally at the top of his lungs, as the sight of the boosted gear materialised on his right hand, glowing green over, and over again.
"Raynare, thank you!" Issei howled out, his eyes wide with bliss, his jaw open, and his tongue lulled out, akin to a opiate addict on a high that surpassed any mortal drug in this world. "For so long, I repressed my urges, trying to understand what the true nature of this world is! I abandoned what was right, and attempted to keep myself grounded in the material world, BUT NO! I remembered the right path, I understand the true ways of life!"
"He's high." The fallen Angel muttered to herself in disbelief, arms shivering in a mix of fear, and awe.
This aura was unmistakable. The woman had once sat beneath the throne of Yahweh himself, the king of Gods, the heavenly lord, a being who's existence surpassed all of existence. Yet, this boy before him, albeit far weaker, was manifesting an aura she hadn't seen in years - The aura of a God, a being who'd surpassed his limitations - One who'd stolen the principles of heavenly ascension - A Boddhisatva.
"It can't be, you haven't truly… You ascended from touching my tits?" Raynare hissed at him in complete horror, attempting to throw a light spear at him, yet it was nullified in an instant, as Issei raised his arm, manifesting a wall of green, draconic energy, destroying it in under a second. "What is this power?"
"I finally grasped it on the verge of death, the true meaning of the universe - Oppai! Tits! Boobs! Milkers! Bazongas! All of it… Raynare…" He hummed her name again, his eyes fixated on her breasts, as the girl attempted to hide them out of shame, yet he continued to gawk away. "The world is so beautiful right now… If I had the power, I would make the Earth itself, the shape of Oppai… The twin peaks, the mountains, all are Oppai!"
As if he were one with the earth, visions of assortments of tits - Big and small, saggy and plump, toned and tight, all of it flashed through Issei's mind. His eyes flashed over, and over again, with constant visions, as he felt his body's energy slowly return, his trance beginning to end, yet he needed to do something to kill Raynare. He felt no desire whatsoever, for his heart was filled exclusively on breasts, but this woman flinging a barrage of light spears was a threat to his sheer existence.
He no longer felt guilt, attachment, nor any sort of romantic feeling toward the girl. Here, he was a God, a being who'd surpassed the need for such mortal, lowly attachments. He was beyond Human understanding, even her screeches were deafened out by the sound of nature resonating through his mind.
"To drink the underboob sweat of a woman everyday, and be nuzzled in her bosom! That is power, that is strength, that is the meaning of the world!" He howled out in psychotic laughter, before turning toward Raynare, as the fallen angel unleashed a bloodcurdling scream.
"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU! DIE A THOUSAND TIMES, YOU FOUL BEAST! ROT IN HELL!" Raynare howled out, only to go silent, as the sight of a massive, glowing ball of green energy began to emerge from Issei's finger, pointed right at her.
"Throughout all the Heavens, and the Earth, I alone, am the honoured one." Came Issei's soft, humming voice, synchronized with Ddraig's own. "Dream Finger."
"You are not Gojo Sattoru! You will never be him, you are not the Buddha! This can't be happening. I… I.. I hate you, Hyoudou Issei!" She screeched to the heavens, as the girl fell to the ground, Issei's raw, draconic energy forcing her to the ground.
In an instant, the ball of energy continued to condense, more, and more, until it formed a football-sized load. With a snap of his finger, it was as if the entire world had gone silent, nothing but white noise bellowed throughout the world. The young teenager felt the peace, and bliss leave his body, those once mortal, lower feelings returning to him, as his body had fully healed from his wound.
As the whiteness from the world disappeared, he looked down, to see where Raynare was once, was left with nothing but a cloud of dust, flowing away with the wind. He took a long, tired sigh, his mind boggled. He'd tasted ascension, divinity, yet the voice in his heart, the boy that was once Hyoudou Issei was no longer there. It was as if he'd sacrificed it for his heart.
Upon realisation, tears began to accumulate in his tear ducts, as the sudden feeling of wet, pouring rain brushed up against his back. He didn't care about his clothes getting wet, or the injures, or how ruined they were. The flashbacks of his date with Yuuma overwhelmed his heart, alongside the sacrifices he had to make for something so meagre, all due to his own careless ego, his stupidity.
"Ddraig…" He hummed out, in call for his partner.
[Do not worry, partner. I shall always be here with you, from now, until the end.] Ddraig's grumbling, yet soothing voice comforted him, as tears began to flow down Issei's eyes.
"He's gone, isn't he?" Issei choked out, eyes looking down in defeat. "And so is she."
[The boy that was once Hyoudou Issei is not gone, he is you, and you are him. You have simply used that memory. But no, one day, he shall return, as you, since you and him are the same.]
"I don't know what that means anymore. That girl… Yuuma, she…" He sobbed to himself, his face buried between his hands.
[She never loved you, partner. It was a ruse, to kill you. For what reason, I do not know, but know that it is a lesson learned. You achieved a partial Balance Breaker today, know that.]
"I'm going to die alone, aren't I?" He sobbed to himself, as he glanced up into the sky, rain pouring down his face. "I just wish, I could honour his memory properly. I wish I had a harem of women who loved, and cared about me."
Whether by coincidence, or by Fate, the declaration of his wishes had been heard, but not by the heavens, but by Hell itself. Issei suddenly jittered, as he felt something resonate, and glow in his pocket, and in an instant, pulled out the strange card he'd found on the floor earlier, as it began to glow brightly, and hot like the sun.
He watched, silent, as same sigil on the card began to erupt from the ground, a bright red one, and a figure began to emerge out of it. He readied his boosted gear, unaware of the next move, hesitantly pointing his fist toward it, before stopping.
"Did you summon me, young ma- Hyoudou Issei?" Came the voice of a very, very familiar girl, as the red, magical energy began to manifest, taking the form of someone the teenager recognized far too well.
"Gremory-Senpai?" Issei noted back, before slamming his foot on the ground in anger and beginning to walk away. "Man, what the fuck?"
"Wait, Hyoudou, where are you going? We have a contract to fulfil?" Came Rias's voice calling out to him in the distance.
"I'm going to kill myself. I'm including you in my suicide note." Issei replied cheerily, flashing a thumbs-up back at the now-confused redhead, who began to rush toward him. "Wait, get off me, what the hell are you doing?"
"Don't kill yourself, please! If you do, it'll look bad for me, please!" The redhead whined into his ear, as their scuffle ended with him falling onto the ground, the girl atop his body, blushing bright as her hair. "Okay, this looks bad, but I can explain."
"You stupid fucking bitch."
Hope you enjoy. I genuinely don't care (jks i do i hope you laughed at my crazy ass ramblings this shit is fun to write). Gonna do more schizo ass memes and borderline homoerotic posting.
Lemme know what you think 3