Chapter 4: The Departure

The path to the yacht was made in complete silence. While Abby was looking for something interesting she could talk about, Ellie didn't think she needed to say anything, because it wasn't like the two women were going to become best friends anyway. They were just surviving together for a simple matter: they met in an unknown location that could have more violent factions like the Rattlers, and in order not to suffer greater damage, they chose to travel in the same boat.

However, as soon as she felt in a position to go ahead alone, the green-eyed girl would have to make a choice: remain there of her own free will, or else take her path permanently, even if she had no idea where to go. In her head, it would all depend on the blonde's next attitudes toward her; if they were peaceful, she would consider staying, however if they could not establish a conviviality at least acceptable, she would simply leave.

They got on the boat after walking for a good part of the beach and at once smelled the pleasant smell of food. Lev had fished and was preparing fish so the three of them could feed. However, the former WLF member needed to staunch the blood and put a bandage on the wound on her forehead in the first place. The young woman had said that she would help her in the task, but preferred to help the boy finish the preparation of the fish in question, considering it less embarrassing.

"We're going to eat and then I'm going to drive the boat to Santa Monica."

"But what about Abby?"

"She needs to rest, is weaker than me now. When she's better, I promise I'll leave."

"You know... No one is kicking you out of here." Lev argued. "You can stay with us as long as you want, as long as you don't hurt her." He asked.

"Can I ask a personal question?" Asked the green-eyed girl, as soon as he noticed that the blonde had closed the door to the boat's hut in order to put them at ease to talk alone on deck.

"Yep."

"You're a Scar, aren't you?"

"Seraphite." He corrected her.

"Okay... Seraphite." She spoke. "So... Why are you traveling with a soldier of the Wolves?"

"That's not her people anymore."

"How do you know that?"

"Because she told me that, and I remember every word like it was today. Abby said me '...You are my people.'..." The boy replied with visible emotion. "I realized that she was willing to help my sister and me, because even before she gave up following the Wolves, she tried her best to do so. And you're welcome to be a part of that too, if you don't hurt her." He repeated the request.

"You don't know anything bad she's done to me..." The green-eyed young woman's tone didn't sound aggressive, nor would she want it to, because the boy really didn't seem to know anything about the tragic fact that intertwined the lives of both.

"You'll have plenty of time to tell me everything." Lev said genuinely. "Listen, Abby wishes we were friends, and come to think of it, you seem to be trustworthy."

"Wait... Does she want to?"

"Yeah. And so do I. "

"Even after I tried to kill her on two occasions?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" Ellie was surprised.

"Because besides her... I don't have anyone else." He replied sadly. "Besides, I won't go against her decision, if the person you tried to kill is willing to try…" The Seraphite boy was silent a few moments, intent on the task of cleaning the food. "When I came back to the island and lost my mother who was trying to kill me… And I had to defend myself… I felt like crap for pushing her, because that's what caused her death. And it was exactly the right time where Yara and Abby met me."

"Who's Yara?"

"It was my sister." The boy said after a few minutes, of assessing whether he shared something so personal.

Hearing him refer to his own sister so sadly, the green-eyed young woman watched him for a few moments and concluded that she, too, had been killed. "I assume she..."

"She died, yeah." The boy replied, interrupting her. "When the three of us left my house after I did that shit with my own mother, a group of Wolves soldiers hit her. So... Abby and I were surrounded."

The girl was completely enveloped by the story he told, not believing that while this was all going on, it was most likely the exact moment when she headed to the Aquarium to end the lives of Owen and Mel, who was pregnant.

"Wait… Abby was surrounded by her own group and… Was it still on your side?" She was completely surprised by what she heard.

"Yep. Their leader, Isaac, wanted to shoot me at all costs, but she didn't allow him to do that and... Yara, who we both thought was dead, hit Isaac with a shot. Then in retaliation, the Wolves shot my sister."

"Fuck... I'm sorry. What the fuck. " Ellie sighed, concluding that it was a lot for a child to endure. " And then?"

"Abby and I fought to flee the island amid the war and destruction caused by the two groups; I was persecuted by my people for going against their rules, and she for choosing to help me. We went towards the Aquarius and... The rest you already know."

Immediately, she felt terrible, because while the blonde woman tried her best to help two innocent children in the middle of a war, the green-eyed girl wouldn't give up hunting her. "But… Why did you need her help? Why did your mother want to kill you?"

"You may have noticed that all men who belong to the Seraphites have something in common: the shaved head. "

"Yes, I figured that out."

"My given Christian name's Lily." The boy sighed with regret as he tried to arrange the sentences as best, he could. "I wanted to be a soldier like my sister, but instead, it was decided by the elders that I would be the wife of one of them. Except I couldn't be anyone's wife, because I don't feel like a girl. Biologically I know there's no way to fix it, but I'm not a woman." He confessed. "My name's Lev."

"And she... She knows this whole story?"

"Who, Abby?"

"Yeah."

"She knows, of course. She told me, in one night we were having dinner, that Yara told her."

"And yet... Knowing the real reasons... Did she decide to help you?" The green-eyed young woman continued to question him, so astonished that she felt, because it definitely seemed like the boy was referring to someone else, not Joel's brutal killer.

"Wait a minute... What kind of person do you think Abby is?" The boy asked frankly as he stared at her, as soon as he finished the task of preparing the fish.

Ellie thought of retorting that all she knew about her was that the woman had viciously murdered the man she considered her father by brutally, beating him, but decided not to say anything, at least not for the time being, because it was too soon to jump to reckless conclusions, however, a bad person like her was sure that Abby was, would never stand up for two children, especially being those belonging to the rival group, especially with the addendum that Lev was a transgender boy. It was as if, suddenly, someone started to change the image she had about the former WLF member.

Definitely, the green-eyed young woman's head was increasingly confused as to who, after all, Abby was. Then she remembered that the blonde did not want to accept the duel on the beach, and that she had only done so due to the knife that Ellie pressed against the boy's throat, a fact that embarrassed her, especially after learning details about his life and the strong friendship that was between them.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that the Seraphite had gone to call for the strongest woman inside the room to feed themselves. The meal was made practically in silence; the few conversations took place between Lev and Abby, regarding the next city in which they would stop. But the young woman wasn't willing to talk about it. All she could think of was how unknown this woman who had ever been strong made a bull was. No one knew her. Nor her old friends, nor Ellie herself, nor much less Tommy… Perhaps the one who knew the blonde the most was Lev.

On a certain occasion, the green-eyed girl remembered Marlene saying just that: 'we only know the best and the worst of someone when we need to be close to that person in an extreme survival situation.' So that's what Ellie would do.

As soon as she finished feeding, the girl moved away from the boy and the blonde so she could start steering the boat; since it was still light despite it being late afternoon, if they were lucky, they might make it to Santa Monica by early dusk. And so that they could rest in a quiet place, getting the yacht to safety was a priority.

At the same time as she guided the vessel, she watched with distress the somewhat rough sea; perhaps it would rain, because the sun had suddenly disappeared and some dark clouds were approaching. For that reason, Ellie knew she needed to be as fast as she could. She was so engrossed in the task that she didn't even notice the approach of the other woman, who sat next to her in the other seat.

"Don't worry... It's not going to rain now."

The young woman with the green orbs widened her eyes in fright. "Fuck Abby… I didn't see you coming!" She laughed awkwardly.

"Sorry. I just preferred to come and reassure you, because I imagine you don't have much experience in nautical environments, didn't I?"

"And you have, by any chance?"

"Yeah. I was born in Oregon, in Haystack Rock." She commented as she chewed on an expired protein bar. "My dad raised me on a boat, where we lived until I was eight years old. I learned to row and sail very early, for example. "

Ellie was interested in the story. After all, it was the first time she knew anything about the blonde's past. "But you got out of there."

"Yeah. My mother was bitten and my father had to kill her." She replied succinctly, which indicated that she did not intend to give further details about her personal life, at least not for the time being.

"I'm very sorry." The tone in the green-eyed young woman's voice was charged with guilt, as it was with every death she came to know, the result of Cordyceps infection.

"It's not your responsibility." The blonde spoke again, before turning her eyes to the sea. "We were supposed to go to Oregon as soon as we was in a position to make long trips."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't want to stay with us... It's closer to Wyoming."

The girl turned to the stronger woman with some abruptness. "If you want, I can leave when we get to Santa Mónica." She said, visibly defensive.

"That's not what I meant, Ellie." Her tone was calm. "I just wouldn't want you to feel trapped traveling with us." Emphasized.

As soon as she heard her name pronounced by the former WLF member, which hadn't happened until then, the green-eyed young woman felt something strange; her body shuddered slightly and a sensation in her stomach mouth made her sigh and immediately look at the woman next to her.

'Why did I let her live? Why don't I throw her overboard now? Why don't I kill her with a pistol shot'? She wondered mentally. It would be a fairly easy thing after all, especially since the blonde was weakened; all it would take was one shot and it would all be over, Joel could rest in peace.

"I don't feel trapped for you, don't worry." She replied in a softer tone.

In fact, Ellie was no longer sure that avenging the Texan's death would bring something good in the end, and besides, there was something between them that she would like to understand better. She remained for a long time staring at the blue orbs of her interlocutor, as if only one conclusion was plausible, precisely the only conclusion she did not intend to admit. She had left Dina and JJ for the hatred she felt for Joel's tragic death, a hatred that was now nothing but resentment, since having had the visualization of a good moment next to the man she considered her father, the green-eyed young woman felt her lighter conscience.

'So why the hell don't I go away and leave these two alone?' She wondered again mentally as she drove the yacht.

Deep inside, knew the answer. She was only afraid to admit that after such hatred began to subside — which was what was slowly happening —, she would begin to feel something good for the other woman. The important point was that, as Maria used to say to the other girls in Jackson in the midst of mild dialogue, 'when you're thinking about the possibility of something there being, it's because it already exists in fact.'

And that was the truth Ellie needed to face with herself. However, she admitted that it was much easier to decimate enemies – whether they were human or infected – than to deal with emotional issues. She was never able to fully expose her feelings to anyone, especially after the time she feared being abandoned by Joel when she was 14 and he wanted to leave her with Tommy to look for the Fireflies. She felt awkward trying to explain her feelings, and from that day on, she vowed that she would never talk about any personal sensation that bothered her.

However, along with the blonde woman, the green-eyed woman knew she would need to do it sooner or later. Maybe there was no need to return to Joel's brutal death at first, but they would have to face their demons in frank dialogue someday.

"Want a sip?"

Abby snapped her out of her trance when offered a bottle of a strange and terrible tasting drink was all Ellie could say as she took a sip of the contents.

"Fuck... Where did you get this?"

"It was already here on the yacht. It was from... Owen." She said without looking at the caller.

"Abby..."

"It's okay, Ellie." She assured, placing a hand on the other young woman's shoulder. "We need to make it work, because that kid sleeping in the cabin deserves it. The world we live in is completely fucked up, but if together we can leave something good for him at the end, I'll finish my mission and have something positive for me to remember." She said, and only after speaking did, she remove her hand from shoulder her, she rose from her chair and left, after taking the bottle back.

Then Ellie let out a breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding; Abby had a firm and somewhat gentle touch, she could see that, though she dismissed that thought immediately, because other than the fights they'd had in the theater in Seattle and on the beach in Santa Barbara, the two women had had little physical. And this time there was no violence between them.

After about an hour of travel, they arrived in Santa Monica, with Ellie anchoring the yacht on a small beach, considering that if they landed in a smaller place, the chances of facing large hordes of infected would be reduced. The girl stared at the sky slowly, contemplating the night that gave way to the day, despite the clouds blocking a better view of the stars.

Then she remembered the blonde's touch on her shoulder about an hour earlier, even as she tried to fend off such thoughts by shaking her head. To occupy his mind, she decided to leave the deck and go search for Lev and the strongest woman, while the pleasant sound of the waves filled the space around the vessel.

She entered the cabin and watched the boy who slept peacefully and was most likely still recovering from the period he had been trapped by the Rattlers, a fact that made her smile as she remembered once again the blonde who, from what little she understood, showed herself completely willing to build as secure a future as possible for the boy.

'Nope. That wouldn't be the thought of someone without character or someone who could be a bad person… To begin with, if it was someone as bad as she appeared to be, she wouldn't even help a child from the rival group', she concluded again, before getting off the yacht, since she hadn't found the woman anywhere.

As the vessel had not been anchored to the bottom of the sea, there was no need for it to swim to the shore, as the water hit its knees as it walked. In the distance she could see that Abby was sitting on the sand and that she was pouring some salt water on a huge wound on her left thigh in order to clean the injured area, which made Ellie feel pain just from witnessing the scene.

The green-eyed young woman was intrigued as to why the woman had chosen to treat the wound at some distance from the yacht. But either way, approached to see if she would need help.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Are you worried?" The blonde asked, with an indecipherable smile.

"This wound on your leg... Man, just by looking I felt pain." She confessed. "That's why I questioned if you would need anything."

"Tomorrow I'm going to have to find a way to look for medicines. But I'm not going with Lev, because I don't want to worry him."

"That's why you walked away to treat the wound?"

"Yeah. He's been through a lot, especially in the months when we've been enslaved. He don't have to see me in these terrible conditions. "

Ellie nodded and kept silent. She knew it wasn't the right time to ask about the months the two of them had been captive, mainly because didn't have any intimacy enough with the blonde to touch on such a delicate subject.

Either way, she found the woman's stance on preserving the boy commendable, because she believed that they, like Joel and herself, had been through a lot. "If you need help with that... You can count on me."

The blonde nodded. "I wouldn't want to talk about sensitive matters with you, because I set out to do it so as not to cause more problems not only for myself or... Even for you, but mostly for him." She said, at the very moment she turned to the other young woman. "But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you willing to do this along with me, even though I did everything bad for you, and even though you went to Seattle to kill me?"

Ellie didn't expect such a direct question, precisely because she had no ability to deal with emotional issues. But from what little she realized, the woman in front of her was much more resolute in this kind of situation. She remained silent for a long time, because she thought she wasn't sure what to say, but in reality, she knew she needed to give an answer, not least because she had it on the tip of her tongue.

"Yeah, I'm willing to try... For the boy." She said, though it wasn't just for him that the green-eyed girl intended to make living together enjoyable.

"Okay. But if you need to talk or vent or hit me or... Any shit like that because of our recent track record, please don't involve Lev in this, that's all I ask."

"Yeah… Don't worry. But anyway… I don't think it's going to do any good for us to continue in this damn cycle of violence, because it's not going to change what happened. I'm not going to say that this thing about us living together is going to be easy or even that I forgive you for what I lost, that's not it. But I... I need to find a reason..."

"What, how so?" Abby asked in interest, as she put gauze and tape on her injured leg to protect her.

"I always thought I needed to find a sense for my immunity, but since there probably aren't more Fireflies... Maybe I have to find another reason to keep living." She explained.

"Maybe the reason is closer than you think." The blonde said, finishing making the bandage. "Want me to see how your wound is on the abdomen?" She offered.

Ellie nodded in a light nod, lifted the t-shirt she was wearing, and immediately remembered that her reaction to the closeness to the other woman become less and less abrupt, because she felt quite comfortable in her presence, a fact that was good for the due coexistence that they both set out to build, but that was frightening, due to the history of tragedy that linked them.

The blonde was gentle and nimble in treating the wound, which had seemed to heal gradually. She changed the bandage in a procedure that wasn't painful or even bothersome, which made the green-eyed girl conclude that Abby must have some kind of medical knowledge. However, she chose to leave this question for later; they would have several days ahead of them and, after a good night's sleep that they needed and that they would enjoy a lot to relax, the next morning the two young women and the boy would go in search of a residence where they could live for a while, in addition they would explore the territory to collect resources.