Scene:

The recording studio of the Interplanetary Audio Entertainment Broardcast for Non-Organics (the IAEBNO), a droid-centric holo-radio station broadcasting throughout the galaxy.

Characters:

TC-781 "Top Cat" – the host of the radio station. He is a TC-unit protocol droid fitted with a sophisticated communication module making him well-spoken, charismatic and articulate.

IG-81 "Iggi" – a popular techno musician and songwriter. As an IG-unit assassin droid with an acquired artistic flare, he speaks in a typical mechanical, unemotive, monotone.

[ — Synthetic dance music plays then fades. Lights up. — ]

[ — A protocol droid sits at a radio studio desk and leans into the microphone as the music fades. His guest is sitting opposite. — ]

TC — "Hey ho, welcome back. You're listening to the I-A-E-B-N-O, Droid Radio, broadcasting on subspace frequency 32.47-44.06, all hours, every rotation. I'm your host, TC-781, and that track was 'Translate This!' by a very good friend of mine – 'DJ-Protocol' himself, C-2DJ. We were actually produced in the same factory on Corellia, you know. Different production lines, same core-processor model. Now though, we have a very special guest: IG-81, but you know him as 'Iggi', from 'Iggi and the Biths'. A very warm welcome to you."

IG — "Greetings."

TC — "It's great to have you with us, Iggi. You're half-way through your Mid-Rim Systems tour, right? First then, tell us, what is it like working with such talented musicians as 'the Biths'?"

IG — "Satisfactory yet frustrating."

TC — "I see, and why is that?"

IG — "For organics, they have an excellent level of creativity and produce adequate supplementary audio but often they are far too passive and inebriated to take any threats seriously."

TC — "Threats?"

IG — "Yes, there have been a total of eleven violent incidents on our tour so far to which they have seemed to pay no attention."

TC — "Eleven, so far?!"

IG — "It is the Mid-Rim and I am an assassin droid; what do you expect."

TC — "Right. Well, then I suppose I had better ask, how does an assassin droid such as yourself get into a career in music?"

IG — "I threatened a successful agent with collecting the bounty on their head."

TC — "O, I see."

IG — "Fear not, I have not come to collect the bounty which has been posted for you, though it is a notably large one for a protocol droid."

TC — "Is it?! O my."

IG — "Yes. I do not know who you offended but they are clearly someone that possesses plenty of spare credits."

[ Silent pause ]

IG — "So, are you going to play my track?"

TC — "What? O, yes of course. Your new song is called Shot to the Central Processing Unit. Can you tell us about it?"

IG — "It is another skillfully composed fusion piece with organically operated analogue instruments alongside synthetic percussion, a classical 64-bit audio matrix and an expressive demonstration of my imposing vocal prowess."

TC — "I see, and what inspired the piece?"

IG — "One of my most recent contracts – a shot to a droid's central processing unit is a most-efficient method of termination."

[ Brief pause ]

TC — [ anxiously ] "Do you…hunt down other droids often?"

IG — "If I am being played to do so. But fear not, my agent has calculated that the price on your head is considerably less than the credits I will make from the sales of my music following this interview."

[ Silent pause ]

IG — "So, are you going to play my track?"

TC — [ quite flustered ] "Yes, of course, most certainly. Here it is now. 'Iggi' and the Biths with Shot to the Central Processing Unit."

[ Audible gulp ]

[ — Techno-Jazz fusion music begins

Lights down. — ]