Author's Notes: If you guys were missing good old Quartermaster antics, this is for you! So, this is… going to be a ride, alright. This chapter will contain sexual innuendos related to animals because of Quartermaster. Nothing explicit but if that's not your thing skip to the last section. Although, it's Camp Camp so I doubt that'll be a problem for most people. My search results are going to be ruined for weeks T_T … EnJoY!
Disclaimer: I do not own Camp Camp, that belongs to Rooster Teeth.
—
Chapter 8
Nature Lovers
Breakfast was the same as always: unappetizing mashed potatoes, a side of wrinkled peas, sent off with a cracked glass of water. Preston Goodplay was fairly certain - and when he was certain, HE WAS CERTAIN - that Quartermaster had not deigned to ad-lib the daily menu. Although, he wouldn't have particularly cared if the faded stock character had added a twist or two. Tuesday's dinner had been exquisite, minus the food poisoning of course!
Enough monologuing! Suffice it to say, the day's morning nourishments were anything but jaw-dropping. So, Preston was astounded beyond stars when his good friend, Harrison wolfed it down without a second thought.
"HARRISON!" The theatre kid exclaimed in rapid alarm - surely enough to rouse a thousand lions from rest in the deadest night - when Harrison began to choke. Faster than Zeus, Preston channelled his inner heroic instincts, raised his arm… and clapped him on the back.
The magician coughed and wheezed, face tinged a frothy blue. Finally, after what must've been an arduous lifetime - seven point five seconds - a pale pea popped from his lips. "Ha! I have saved you! I, Preston the Hero!" Preston the Hero humbly boasted, striking a bombastic pose once his friend could breathe.
"Thanks… Preston…" Harrison mumbled, face turning a scarlet red. While he was distracted, Preston swiftly snacked on some of his potatoes.
"HMM, they don't taste any less foul than mine…" The theatre kid said in a suspicious aside. However, his mouth was left open when Harrison finished his serving with an inhuman speed. Preston only recalled to swallow when stray mash fell onto his calf. "Cease thy hastening!" He implored when the magician rushed to leave.
Harrison stumbled antecedent to swivelling toward him with a befuddled look. "Um, yes, Preston?" The other boy cautiously replied. And Preston could guess from the minor shaking of his hands that he wanted to shove them behind his back.
"Macbeth: In Space is having its first rehearsal this afternoon. Will you be in attendance?" The theatre boy fervidly invited. His friend avoided his glance. Yet Preston understood from the many months they'd known each other that Harrison was leaning toward no. That would not do! He would not stand for such injustice! "Nerris said she would be there."
A flicker of uncertainty! Success! Preston, master of the human heart, connoisseur of conflict, supreme teller of stories, and the ultimate matchmaker, held no doubt that-
"Sorry, Preston! I have this new trick I am working on and so I can't come this time! I-I'll see you later!" Harrison hurriedly excused, taking a single step before running off.
The theatre kid was left in the metaphorically dusty dust, stunned silent by his script going off the metaphorically rusty rails. "Huh…?" He quietly gaped, staring at the doors Harrison had dashed through.
—
Harrison felt something tap his forehead. At first, enervation ignored the sudden disturbance and he simply rolled onto his side. However, a sharp kick to his back finally stirred his consciousness from rest. Tiny blossoms of pain sprouted across his body as momentum threw him into a field of abandoned eggs.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Harrison hissed, fully awake. He quickly righted himself and patted the white shells away. His Magic Camp's billowing curtains had down torn aside, and exposed, he could see the stars above. Wait. Stars? "Is it not just the afternoon?" The baffled magician questioned. It certainly had been afternoon when Harrison entered backstage. He'd even remarked on how unusually bright it was.
But that was only a couple of hours ago… right? "Heh... Maybe I am overdoing it…" The boy reluctantly assented, tilting his head.
"Boy." Quartermaster appeared, causing him to yelp.
Sleep had clearly been something of a choice rather than a basic need for living as of lately. Hence, his nerves were particularly on edge. While there were moments when his body seemed unwilling to cooperate, sheer determination strung it along. Anyways, Harrison instinctively raised his arms. "Quartermaster?! What are you doing here?" He demanded.
The old man raised a singular eyebrow. "Work. Thought you wanted in. Unless I have been forsworn once again…" He wistfully sighed, closing his eye.
"Work…? But, the next apocalypse is not scheduled until Thursday. And… it is not Thursday. It is Wednesday." Harrison slowly cited, getting the tiniest of inklings that he was missing a key detail.
"It's Thursday," Quartermaster informed. The magician felt like he'd been hit over the head with a sledgehammer.
Simultaneously, events of the previous two days came darting back. They relentlessly slammed into his mental fortitudes and caused him to stumble. After a major breakthrough with the eggs, Harrison had become drunk on the notion he could bring Erich home. It'd got into his mind that he was only a few attempts away from success. And when those failed, the next three. And then the next three. And so forth. He'd acted like a gambler in a high-stakes casino.
Meanwhile, time had escaped him.
Man, Harrison really needed that break.
It certainly explained the collateral that was backstage. He also vaguely recalled shooing Preston and David away with excuses ranging from lame to sadistic. "I'll apologize to them later." Harrison winced with a light pink dusting his cheeks. "Oh… I lost track of time! I still want in!"
Quartermaster gave a nearly imperceptible twitch in response. "Very well. We must tread carefully. For the path ahead is fraught with peril."
"Mhm…" He nodded as they trekked toward the Thinking Cave. His luck would take another swan dive for the worse though. And another problem soon presented itself to him. "Darn, I spent too long backstage and didn't see any clues about tonight's task… " A spike of irritation. Yet the magician speedily composed himself. It was a minor setback in the grand scheme of things! Besides, Harrison could use Quartermaster's supplies to surmise their upcoming foe.
Said supplies turned out to be a collection of ground-up flower petals. The grains were gathered together in a single glass jar. Briefly, the stellar image of confetti flickered into his head. He'd always wanted to use confetti in a show finale. But, it was a pain to clean up.
Next to him, Quartermaster hoisted a sizeable satchel behind his back. "Your turn, boy." The elder gruffly continued, tossing the grimoire.
"Got it." Harrison had gathered enough information to determine their task.
They were going to a fauna-dense realm. It had both the simplest setup and the thickest grimoire section, covering nearly a hundred separate native plants. Colour had retreated over time. But, the magician received the private impression of vivid hues and smells.Additionally, those flowers were the very same ones gathered and ground for their task tonight. "Apparently, it is also Quartermaster's favoured realm." It was that or he'd badly misinterpreted the gigantic hearts doodled everywhere.
While Harrison skimmed the grimoire, Quartermaster popped the lid off the jar. He placed it on the ground between them. Shaking his arm, a small ice cube slid into the old man's palm.
He read the Latin.
"To eternal bliss…" Quartermaster muttered. The jar started to titter profusely. Tittering turned to rattling. And rattling turned to full-on quaking. By the end of Harrison's reading, it was like a ticking time bomb. The ice was dropped inside and a crack split the frenetic jar in two. Its effect was instantaneous.
The grains erupted from the jar in volcanic-like ashes, disguising the night's darkness with colour and flare. But, there was only a minute opportunity to admire the fantastical scene before those very same lurid ashes rained down upon them. They clung to every inch of his body and seized every mile of vision.
Suddenly, Harrison felt the familiar sensation of hopping dimensions.
—
Once the gaudy shower dispersed, he immediately had to shut his eyes again. For their new scintillating surroundings burned into his retinas. As if a light switch had been flicked in the sky, turning it from midnight to afternoon. After some time, the magician's pupils adjusted to the intensity and beheld their environment.
"Woah…" Harrison could not help but release.
He stood in the middle of a spacious, grassy meadow. Long blades the colour of green apple lollipops tickled his shoes. Near the meadow's fringe was an eclectic garden of oversized plants. Bright blue mushrooms towered over minuscule redwoods. Golden sunflowers rested above pink carnations. Fragrant tulips oscillated back and forth, bumping into each other and releasing glittering pollen that danced in the wind.
Harrison sniffed before doing a large inhale. "Even the air tastes sweet." He smacked his lips.
Oddly, the boy was briefly tempted to chew on the grass. Alas, Camp Campbell barely had enough funds as it did to provide toothbrushes. If Harrison got a cavity then he'd suffer until camp ended.
"Still, I understand why Quartermaster likes this place so much…" The magician mused, fixing his priorities. They had work to do! Maybe when all was said and done he'd ask his mentor to bring some flora back with them for breakfast. Ha! Imagine that, a sweet breakfast? His grandparents would be rolling in their graves. Erich would be so jealous! "Wait…" Harrison stilled before spinning in a slow circle. "Where's Quartermaster?!"
The old man should have spoken by then.
His first look yielded zero Quartermasters. Nor the second. He spun with more fever on the third. Yet still, there was no trace of the enigmatic elder. "Quartermaster?!" The magician whispered before breaking out into a run. "QUARTERMASTER!"
Panic strangled his heart. Blood flow sped up with every step. And if he could see his face, it'd be bone white. Harrison searched in random directions, hoping beyond hope that anything would turn up! A footprint, an overturned rock, a broken stalk, anything! Unfortunately, Quartermaster had always been a master at stealth when he wanted to be. Nothing.
"QUARTERMASTER?!" Harrison yelled again for the fiftieth time. One of his hands was tangled in his hair as he staggered backwards. Nothing but the ever-present wind and nature's gentle lullaby accompanied him. His other hand hugged the grimoire to his chest.
Finally, Fortuna took pity on him.
"YES! OPEN DEM FUCKING GATES!" Quartermaster's voice carried across the meadow.
—
He loves it here.
What more could He need? One swallow of sweet, sweet, nectar and every fibre of his cursed body lights on fire. All the colours start acting funny. Every touch sends shivers of joy across bare skin in ways the pretenders could only dream of. Screw his job. The boy was ready. He only needs to turn his infinite thinking juice off and enjoy himself for fucking once.
He has more far more pleasurable matters to attend to. Mainly screwing this beautiful son of a-
—
Harrison hates this place. Forget what he said earlier. The older brother was jealous of Erich, not the other way around.
Minutes ago, he'd been overjoyed upon hearing his mentor's shouts. That was then. That was when the magician thought he'd find a sane, normal, Quartermaster. Okay, the old man didn't exactly meet the average standards for sane or normal most days. And Harrison didn't really have room to talk about normalcy, did he? But, that was beside the fact! The point was that he was expecting to find the Quartermaster from before they teleported.
Harrison did not find that Quartermaster. Instead, the boy discovered a fully clothed old man interlocked with a chocolate-brown leopard atop a bouncing red dahlia.
To his credit, he did not faint as he would have one month prior. Some kind of immunity must've developed after so much time with the perverted old man. Although, his mind was still sufficiently freaked.
The magician exasperatedly closed his eyes shut, and silently begged that when he opened them it would be gone, that it was all one big illusion. Better yet, he'd launch awake backstage in his Magic Camp. And discover it'd been a twisted nightmare, inspired by everything he didn't think about and thrown in a locked box in the farthest corner of his mind.
"One… two… three…" Harrison painstakingly counted. Five seconds skedaddled and he tentatively pried his eyelids open-nope. "Nope, nope, nope, nope…" The magician muttered to himself like a praying mantra, head down, pivoting on his heel and speed walking in the opposite direction.
Of course, he didn't go far. Far enough to escape the worst of the encounter. Yet not too distant as to lose track of Quartermaster's location. No matter what, no matter how annoyed he became, a part of Harrison was relieved to locate his mentor.
Too bad annoyance was the dominant emotion. "Quartermaster…" Harrison huffed, hiding his face in his palms. He'd dropped the grimoire on a tattered wooden stump. Just in case the magician's emotions flared up and accidentally damaged it.
The old man continued to… engage. "-DON'T STOP YOU-" The ten-year-old slammed his hands over his ears before Quartermaster could finish that breathy sentence. Eventually, Harrison's mind was able to selectively tune out… all of that… so he could actually think.
"Okay… okay…" The magician hesitantly started, shoving his arms behind his back while pacing. "So, Quartermaster probably can't work right now. Which leaves me to do the job!" Harrison pumped his arms to try and motivate himself. It kind of succeeded. "I just have to believe in myself! Tada!" He proclaimed, forcing himself to stand just a bit straighter.
He really could! The boy had been paying apt attention, memorizing details such as the precise tasks-
"-SWEET MOTHERFUCKER-" Quartermaster loudly moaned, piercing his initiative.
Harrison visibly deflated. "Can I really just leave Quartermaster behind…?" He nervously pondered. Honestly, half of the magician - the petty half - wanted to leave the old man to himself. The other half - his conscience - objected. One, Quartermaster would most likely desire that anyway. Two, Quartermaster would continue doing… the thing… if he left him alone. Three, Harrison didn't know if two people could return to camp on two separate trips.
... Boo, he hated logic. That's why magic was better.
Reluctantly, the magician wandered back toward Quartermaster. Not only to fetch the lecherous elder. His mentor had all of the supplies they needed for the job. Fortunately, it appeared that the old man had relinquished their materials before… engaging.
"Not thinking about it. Not thinking about it." Harrison chanted like his life depended on it. The boy could hear Quartermaster in the background. So many items were going into the locked box in the farthest corner of his mind. Finally, he levitated the satchel above his shoulder before taking a deep breath. "Here we go…"
The magician levied the most unimpressed possible stare at his mentor's current form.
Harrison noted how the old man frequently snorted the yellow pollen from the dahlia. Every inhale seemed to cause his eye to dilute and increase his energy. Thus, it was likely addling his brain somewhat. In turn, the boy summoned a purple scarf from his hat to use as a makeshift mask.
"So… how am I going to get Quartermaster away from… this…?" Harrison questioned. After going through a myriad of safe and ethical options. Methods that respected concepts like integrity and humility. He proceeded to vanish every single one of said options into cold oblivion. And allowed a saccharine smile to spread across his face.
In his defence, there wasn't a single soul back at camp who would've guessed Quartermaster could go that far.
"Abracadabra…"
—
"I am not sorry." Harrison deadpanned, tugging his floating mentor along with a string of scarves. It'd been pathetically easy to tap the elder's shoulder and separate him from the leopard. Speaking of the furry mammal, it was surprisingly docile and slinked off into the mushrooms. He wasn't questioning it.
If only Quartermaster could do the same. "Come here, you gorgeous bitch!" The old man hollered at a passing fox before vomiting another baseball bat. A rubber chicken followed the bat. Scarves followed the chicken. You got the idea.
"Mhm…" The magician nonchalantly hummed. Quartermaster had even attempted to get with a tree at some point.
Moving on, Harrison kept his eyes on the sky, searching for a certain bell-shaped purple flower. Fortunately, he wasn't left wandering for long. "There they are! Balloon flowers!" He paused, glancing behind him at his buoyant mentor before stifling a chuckle. Had circumstances varied, the boy might have actually laughed at the irony.
Harrison proceeded to securely tie the scarves and by extension Quartermaster to a stem. "Heh, let's get hitched." The old man giggled. And then he sloppily licked a water drop from the green structure.
Shaking his head, the resigned magician returned to work.
Overpopulation was the main issue in this dimension. Reproduction of the various thriving flora was influenced by the native rabbits, who emitted airborne hormones that helped the buds reproduce. Hence, greater rabbit populations correlated to booming plant growth. In turn, the plants outgrew their environment and started to appear in other dimensions.
To his dismay, the solution to said foreign invasion was clear: exterminate the rabbits.
"Why does it have to be bunnies?" Harrison bemoaned, face falling. He'd wanted a cute, fluffy white bunny for a long time. Not only would it have been excellent for tricks. They looked plain adorable. However, the magician was on thin ice at home already. He was not willing to risk worsening relations by asking for a pet of all things.
Harrison pushed the thought aside, focusing. "That should do it." He nodded, satisfied after carving an intricate symbol into the balloon flower's stem. The carving glowed a ghastly green antecedent to draining the plant's vitality. Like a bouncing castle depleted of air, it quickly sank.
Afterwards, the boy grabbed a knife and hacked at the flower's forlorn base. Clearing away the stem's remains, Harrison was left with a sizeable hole into the underground. "That is dark…" He nervously stated, arms shoved behind his back.
The local rabbits were prone to consume balloon flowers. As a result, they made their tunnel systems underneath the purple flora. So, by traversing the hole into the now-hollowed roots, Harrison should be able to enter their burrow.
"I hope I can kill them without making them suffer…" The magician crossed his fingers. There were no further supplies left in the satchel. Consequently, he lacked direction on how to terminate the mammals. So, Harrison would wing it. "I can do this!" He motivated himself before hopping down the hole.
Surprisingly, it was a supremely short endeavour. Only a couple of seconds passed until his feet hit the floor.
Well, hit wasn't precisely accurate. The roots were rather mushy with rot. So, it was more of a sinking rather than a concrete landing. Anyway, once Harrison gathered his bearings, he lit a small flame in his hands and began hiking. "I guess this could have been worse." The boy reflected while navigating the path down. "I could have had to fight the shifter by myself."
Finally, the boy arrived at the root's narrow end, having been forced to his knees. Swiftly cutting the roots away, he was happy to see the rabbits' tunnels before him. "I wonder how many bunnies there will be…" There must be hundreds if they were causing an overpopulation problem.
Harrison talked to himself to fill the all-encompassing silence of the tunnels. Although, in retrospect, that hadn't been the wisest decision considering rabbits' keen hearing. It mattered naught in the end. He instantly fell quiet when earthquake-like rumbles filled the tunnels. Loose dust and soil fell onto his head, yet it was paid no attention.
Two thoughts flew through the boy's mind. "I must be getting close." And. "Oh, they're giant bunnies. That makes more sense than hundreds of normal ones."
The tunnels gradually became wider and wider whilst Harrison's sparks grew fainter and fainter. Eventually, he entered what he assumed was the main burrow due to its grand scale. Tip-toeing closer, the magician observed a humongous mud-coloured rabbit sleeping amongst a pile of rocks.
"Aww, it looks so fluffy." The boy softly grinned, tempted to pet the rabbit. However, his joy morphed into depression upon recalling his task. "At least it will be easier this way…" He sadly denoted, raising his arms while stalking forward.
And then he shocked the rabbit to death. There were no screams. No sudden movements or twitches. Just the bright crackle of electricity. The boy ensured that the voltage was high enough as to cause no suffering. In lieu, the rabbit only faced a fragment of pain before death reclaimed it.
"I'm sorry, little-big guy," Harrison whispered to the smoking corpse, turning away. Guilt wrestled in his stomach. "That was… pretty easy…" He stated, slightly dumbfounded.
The boy was about to write it off as an exception to the usual shenanigans… when the rumbling returned in full force. Harrison yelped, falling to the floor in shock. While he scrambled to stand, the burrow filled with rabbit after rabbit after rabbit. His mouth felt dry as he shakily examined the alert creatures. His pulse pounded in his ears.
A dozen pairs of glowing, bloodthirsty eyes glared back.
Oh. They were giant killer rabbits. That was decidedly not adorable. And made a lot more sense.
—
The magician ran from the rabbits.
They furiously screeched while chasing him up and down the various tunnels and dens. Yet there was never a good opportunity to flee the raging horde and make his escape. Harrison felt his limbs numb with fatigue. Although, Adrenaline kept him alive.
"I can't make enough lightning to get all of them before something gets me!" The boy realized, naked fear scratching at his back.
Another killer rabbit violently stomped, causing the tunnel to tremor. He nearly lost his balance while some of the crusty walls collapsed. Rocks the size of Harrison's head rained down and nearly struck him. "There's nowhere to hide!" He coughed as heavy dust showered over his body. Unfortunately, the attack's force blew his flame out, coating them all in darkness.
The magician stumbled in order to produce a new spark. But, the wasted time allowed his rabid pursuers to make headway. Once Harrison could see again, he immediately had to jump back before a brown-furred foot dented his former position.
"What can I do?!" He internally screamed, rushing into another large burrow. "I can't outrun them much longer!"
The boy slammed into a cold wall, cushioning the impact with his palms. Pushing forward, Harrison desperately searched for another tunnel. However, there were none. He'd been cornered. The magician hiccuped as the killer rabbits grew closer and closer. If Harrison could do something, he had to do it now. Lest he wasted any more valuable energy on fleeing.
Harrison saw the red glow of their eyes. It ripped through the little calm he felt. They charged him like a raging bull in the stadium.
"No other tunnels. No other escape. No way to kill them." The boy pressed himself further against the wall. "Nothing. Nothing." Harrison shook, mind racing across the entire burrow. "Nowhere…" He mumbled, dragging his fingers across the curved surface behind him. "Wait… curved…" The magician realized, light returning to his eyes. "Up," Harrison whispered.
By that point, the herd had entered the burrow. But, the boy was ready at last.
Harrison took a deep breath in, moving his palms to his sides. If the magician wanted to survive this encounter, he'd have to perform a trick he'd never practiced prior. The boy waited for the rabbits to charge nearer and narrowed his eyes. "One… two… three…"
"Wind!" Harrison yelled just as a rabbit lunged at his throat. Summoning a gale storm from his palms, he launched into the air. Upon reaching the height of his flight, the magician repeated the spell to zoom past the ravenous group and back into the tunnels. Landing with a roll, a victorious grin possessed his face. "Tada!" He laughed, leaving the rabbits in the dust.
The boy sprinted back into the original burrow, hearing the echoes of the killer rabbits. The climbing energy shook the tunnels. However, the dust on his shoulders gave Harrison a final idea on killing the herd.
"Please work." He begged while slapping his hand against the wall. Using most of his leftover energy, Harrison created a mini-tornado. The powerful winds exploded across the tunnels, forming deep cracks as they went. Hopefully, the entire system would collapse, taking the killer rabbits with it.
He lacked the hours to ensure their demise though. So, with crumbling walls nipping at his heels, Harrison fled the tunnels.
—
The magician barely leapt out of the flower's hole. Harrison collapsed back-first onto the grass, limbs sprawled around him. "I made it…" He panted, blankly watching the blue-raspberry sky. "I did it…" He coughed up stray dust particles as his chest steadily rose and fell.
"Boy." Quartermaster suddenly spoke up.
Initially, Harrison wanted to ignore his mentor. The day had been crazy enough as it was. Yet against his better judgements, he turned. "Yeah…?" He tiredly replied, forcing himself into a sitting position. His arms and legs felt like they were going to fall off. When the boy returned to camp, he was going to sleep for at least twelve hours.
To his surprise, Quartermaster had freed himself from his scarf bindings. And he no longer seemed to be puking up random objects. But, what stunned Harrison most was that the glaze in the old man's one eye had faded. His mentor was lucid! Perhaps the proximity away from that dahlia waived the pollen's effects.
The old man kicked at the wilted balloon flower before giving Harrison an appraising look. "Good job." Quartermaster slowly nodded.
Inexplicably, he had the strangest of thoughts that his mentor had set the entire debacle up on purpose…
Whatever, Harrison was still annoyed. He rolled his eyes. "Let's go." The magician grumbled. "Before you go and disappear again…"
—
David merrily hummed to himself as he jaunted toward the Mess Hall! Spotting Quartermaster, he amiably smiled. "Why good morning, Quartermaster! You're looking awfully cheerful today!"
—
Author's Notes: This chapter was somehow pretty straightforward to write… because I was basically Harrison while writing it. Originally, that short scene in Quartermaster's perspective was going to be a bit longer. But, I discovered that writing a drugged Quartermaster, let alone Quartermaster on a normal day, was just… not fun. Although, describing Harrison's annoyance was pretty funny.
Additionally, Harrison was going to be fighting an ant population at first. I wanted him to fight some kind of large group to differentiate it from the past plots. But, killer rabbits just felt a lot more comical considering the irony.
So, the main purpose of this chapter was to demonstrate how Harrison's abilities and skills have evolved to the point where he can do jobs solo. Not all of them (the shifter). But, some. It's just another rung on his growth in this story. Quartermaster also did set everything up as a pseudo-test for Harrison. But he definitely was influenced by a desire to get drugged as well. The chapter's secondary purpose was to showcase what I'm thinking is the main dynamic between Harrison and Quartermaster. Usually amiable, Harrison ignores Quartermaster's unique comments, and gets annoyed when he can't.
Next chapter… Well, any guesses?
I hope you guys liked this chapter! Please tell me your thoughts below and have a TERRIFIC day! Until next time!