Disclaimer: I don't own.

Warning, this deals with irrational anger, but in the least physically damaging way possible.

:}

"And remember, this is mine, and I don't want you going and marking it up with those scissors of yours." Tori told Jade, even as her arms held the goth in place, pulling not so gently towards the couch. Tori was mad, wazzed off to the point where Jade had to make the difficult choice of to be mad herself, or retreat. Either would hurt, regardless of her choice.

Lately, the goth had been choosing the relationship, retreating, over fighting. 'It's not personal.' She told herself, over and over. 'She's just stressed out, and so the little things bother her more then usual.' Despite those assurances, Jade was hurt by the piercing glare that had both burned and frozen her flesh, just a few moments ago. In fact, the only thing that had stopped the accusing stare was when Tori chose to seize her and pull her towards the couch, where the less then comforting Latina would hold her until the current crises was past. Jade felt maybe she shouldn't have entered the room, only there's often no way of telling if she was walking on landmines, or just greeting the girl who's supposed to be the sunshine of her life.

'She's not mad at you.' Jade told herself again, hoping this time she'd believe it. Only, for her to belive it wasn't her required her to somehow get past her own history, the history that said she was unlovable. She had to find her way past and remember the present where Tori was usually a very good girlfriend, despite being so happy go lucky. In fact, it was that very support that Jade was becoming reliant upon, so much so that coming home to those accusatory eyes was enough to almost start a fight.

'She didn't even know what to be mad about.' Jade tried, as she reviewed her personal list of things she'd done, all in the past, which was more then long enough to maybe cast doubt in her mind. Only, Tori wasn't one of those "You know what you did" types, not after the way she lost her last boyfriend. 'Guy honestly had no idea what he'd done, cause he didn't do it. Someone else, some girl who wanted him, had. It was funny, from the outside, seeing what Beck used to do to me, only now some other guy was doing it to Tori. The girls, they wanted him, and were more then willing to play dirty. But where those Northride scanks were willing to flirt, and in that one case, the three way, which I was surprise to find didn't involve Beck doing anything more then watch as they attempted to show their assets. Yea, they wanted to demonstrate to him their skills, volunteering to show off on his his then girlfriend, and god did I learn how into girls I was that day. And I tried not to, said no like a thousand times. I just wanted to be true to my man. And what does he do? Just just shrugged and told them to knock themselves out. Like it was no big deal what they were gonna do to me. And while I know what they wanted, it only kinda worked, cause our fight, it did break us up, cause I didn't like how I felt pressured into the three way. Only, once Beck and I were done, I was lost, looking, hurting, up until Tori floated my way, fresh off of her own accusation problems. Big difference was, her man, he'd been good, honest, trying to do what was right, even as he fell into the trap of letting the girls flirt. Later, when Tori got so mad at him for cheating, when he was actually with his friends at the skate park, that was the end of them. She needed to know better then to believe the girls who wanted her man.'

Tori wasn't gentile as she all but fell onto the couch, pulling the goth with her. Jade knew she could resist, only she couldn't. Her own issues were now in play, weighing her down, and would only get proper attention later, when she could think about more then her hurts, her past, and why Tori was so mad at her, even when she knew, this time, it wasn't her fault.

'Tori isn't the type to play the "You know what you did" game. So why is it I got home to a wazzed off girlfriend who couldn't decide what I'd done wrong?" Defences she was trying to build, to help support her girl, kicked in. "My therapist claims sometimes we get triggered, and it could be by anything, and we're just mad. Other times, out chiz adds up, and anything will set us off. He told me that so I'd know not to get upset at someone if I was just mad, and not mad at them. Took a minute, cause how the holy hell can you tell the difference.' Jade was aware of Tori getting some of her frustration out by pulling and yanking until they were positioned right on the couch, the Latina's arms around Jade in what might be mistaken for a comforting hug. Only, Tori wasn't near comforting yet, too absorbed in her own rage. The whole process of getting Jade to the couch was more mechanical, instinct, then planned. A non-violent act of aggression meant to show dominance when feeling to wazzed off to do more then react.

'We are capable of being mad, just feeling angry without knowing why, and then our minds go looking for a reason.' Jade's thoughts weren't doing more then delaying the inevitable, she knew it, but she was fighting with all she had not to take this anger personally. 'She isn't mad at me, I was the one who walked through the door, and she started looking, trying to match the person with some kind of wrong. I watched, as she went through several reasons, mentioned them, and even she knew some of them were wrong. But she was, is angry, and she wants to know why. So here I am, being blamed, and god, it feels so…'

The pale girl had reached her limits, old issues eating through her resolve, and tears started to soak the tanned girls shoulder. Less then comforting arms crushed the pale girl close, not intent on consolation so much as possession. Tori was mad, and for now, would be mad at the girl she was holding close, least Jade do something to make her even madder. No words of love would pass those lips, at least not until Tori worked her own issues out, and even then, she might only remember the rage, and her decided upon reasons, and not the girl who had worked hard on not lashing out. The same girl who's anger now burned inwardly, because she wasn't going to lose another good relationship to her jealousy. Just let her sense of worth be chipped away at until it felt like nothing was left behind.

"If I find one mark on that skin of yours…." Tori added the threat to her stewing words. "You do not want to see what I do if I find you've damaged my property even more. Now…" Rage blinds, and she was ignorant of the moisture that now clung to her top, as the singer tried, in vain, to remember just what her lover had done to make her so flipping angry. Sometimes, it could be so hard, and Tori didn't realize that even the most happy go lucky of girls can let little things add up, or be triggered by something, and just fall into the trap of being mad, and looking for some reason to let it all go. Only her choice, to hold her girl instead of lashing out, showed any awareness that her anger might be causing wounds to her lover. But the rage needed focus, and Jade made such a perfect target sometimes.

So they lay there, Jade crying as Tori held on, neither sure when this torture would end. For Tori, it was about her anger, and finally letting off some steam from her built up emotion. Jade, unfortunately, was the one to take the brunt, of both her overflow of emotion, and the hatred she often sent trudging inwardly, and cried her painful tears out until she passed out, feeling unloved. Maybe, if she was lucky, in the morning Tori would have rediscovered herself, and then it would be time for Jade to start to heal these new emotional wounds.

:}

Not what I wanted, but I doubt I'll ever have perfect. This was good enough. Thoughts?