[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(scene shifts to inside the spaceship with Dr. Briefs appearing in a small screen)
DR. BRIEFS: Goku!
"How convenient." Lemus commented, "I would put a comunication devce on anything." Oracle admitted, "No I'm talking about the screen." Lemus clarified.
GOKU: Hi, Dr. Briefs.
DR. BRIEFS: Goku! What have you done? You've blasted off into space! You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, (Virus: Wait that begs the question... Why did he put fuel in when the ship wasn't ready yet?/ Hatsu: Plot device?) but you... (notices Goku holding a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
"...Yeah where did he get it?" Anomaly noticed.
GOKU: Muffin button.
"But we enstablished last episode that there isn't one?" Anomaly pointed out confused, "He cooked it maybe?" Takama suggestded, "Goku cooking." Shakara said outloud, "Okay, it sounds so wrong." Takama conceded.
DR. BRIEFS: But... I... never installed a muffin button...
GOKU: Then where did I get this muffin...?
"He doesn't even know? ...Miriada." Shiva Samba started accusing, "Don't look at me! I can't make food appear out of nowhere!" Miriada defended herself, "That's too bad honestly." Shion commented.
DR. BRIEFS: Listen very close, Goku. Whatever you do, don't fool with the gravity controls. It goes up to one hundred times Earth's normal gravity.
"If he's not supposed to change the settings, why make that an option?" Starrow wondered.
GOKU: So what you're saying is... if I turn up the gravity, then I can get stronger!
"Well yes, but technically no." Anomaly commented.
DR. BRIEFS: No! What I'm saying is it will crush your bones! (Anomaly: Yes exactly./ Jo'on: He's a Saiyan./ Anomaly: You're right! Nezumi, after we're done here we're going hunting!/ Nezumi: AYE!/ Jo'on: Why do I speak...) The detrimental effects could be catastrophic! You may never walk again!
GOKU: Bored now. Gotta train. Bye-bye!
DR. BRIEFS: Goku, wai-!
(Goku pushes a button to turn off the TV)
"No! He's not smart enough to operate a remote!" Thinner shook his head, "Oh my Goodness Thinner! You just signed his death sentence!" Dreamiv exclaimed.
GOKU: ...I like his mustache.
"I don't, it reminds me of that giant q tip guy, what was his name?" Shakara asked, "Jacques?" Paint said, "Yeah him." Shakara confirmed.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(scene shifts to Dodoria rubbing his face from Krillin's surprise attack from last episode)
"Huh, still on the ground." Pandora mused, "To be fair, he shouldn't be able to get up at all with a body like that!" Zettai laughed.
DODORIA: (groans as he gets up)
ZARBON: Are you all right over there?
DODORIA: Yeah. Little bastards just hit me outta nowhere.
"Ooohhh... I hate when people say that..." Fardie facepalmed, "Because it's an excuse for their fighting incompetence?" Puria asked, "Precisely." Fardie confirmed
ZARBON: Oh, trust me, I know what it's like to take a hard one to the face.
"He didn't." Shanti refused to aknowledge.
FRIEZA: Good to see you're still conscious, Dodoria. (Liria: I guess so he can kill him./ Avaritia: No he needs someone to chase them.) Oh, and just so you know, it's not a big deal or anything, you might want to get right onto this one, but THEY'RE GETTING AWAY, YOU FAT BASTARD!
"So he knows his underling is fat!" Nightmare King smirked, "I was not expecting that!" Starrow smiled.
DODORIA: (flies after Gohan and Krillin) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, the latter holding Dende, flying through the sky)
KRILLIN: Not gonna lie, Gohan, not your brightest move.
"To be fair hecould havejust grabbed the child and ran." Shakara agreed, "Or at least changed their flight path." Takama added, "There's no way they're going in a straight line, no one can be that stupid." Jo'on commented.
GOHAN: Oh come on, Krillin, we have a two mile lead on him. (Jo'on: Maybe I'm wrong..) Factoring in our speed and velocity and his mass, (Zettai: For how smart he his, he should know that it only applies to wings.) there's no way he should be able to catch up...
(Dodoria shoots a blast at them)
KRILLIN: Well, look who's wrong!
GOHAN: There's always room for error!
"It wasn't even marginal!" Zettai scolded.
(Gohan and Krillin dodge all of Dodoria's blasts before he fires another blast that grazes Krillin, making him drop Dende)
"Fly green guy!" Tauira begged, "He can't hear you." Hatsu informed, "Damnit I can try!" Tauira responded.
KRILLIN: (thinking while diving after Dende) Oh dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, damm-
DODORIA: (grabs Krillin's ankle) Oh no you don't!
(scene shifts to Frieza and Zarbon in a deserted Namekian village)
"They're literally sitting around." Fardie mouthed, "Idiots, just... Idiots..." Lemus frowned.
ZARBON: How do you think Dodoria's doing up there?
FRIEZA: We're talking about one of my finest soldiers. (Nightmare King: Must be some prime beef.) There's no way that they'll escape Dodoria's grasp...
(scene shifts back to battle with Krillin headbutting Dodoria to break free of his grasp)
"Ahhh, the unknowing narrator, a classic." Hatsu complimented.
DODORIA: God dammit!
(scene shifts back to Frieza and Zarbon)
ZARBON: But what if they have any tricks up their sleeves?
FRIEZA: Come now, Zarbon. We both know Dodoria would never let them out of sight...
"Wow they're just jinxing it for him." Shion smiled.
(scene shifts back to the battle with Krillin preparing to a Solar Flare)
KRILLIN: Solar Flare! (blinds Dodoria with an image of Frieza taking a shower being briefly seen)
"MY EYES!" Everyone yelled, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? WHY THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Shiva Samba lamented.
DODORIA: (covering his eyes) Goddammit!
ZARBON: Still, sir, we have to remember that Vegeta is on the planet.
"Oh yeah, captain forehead is there!" Starrow said, getting a good giggle out of everyone "Captain Forehead." Nightmare King repeated between giggles.
FRIEZA: Oh, please. Like Vegeta could even lay a hand on Dodoria.
(scene shifts to Dodoria flying in the sky before getting attacked and knocked out of the sky, flying straight into the water)
"That looked like a kick." Tauira noted, "Technically he couldn't lay a hand on him!" Shakara noticed.
DODORIA: GOD DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
(Dodoria falls into the water and comes up gasping for breath, confronted by none other than...)
VEGETA: 'Sup, bubblegum?
"Yeah... Never say that again." Pandora ordered, "I'm never chewing gum again." Shiva Samba stated.
DODORIA: Vegeta! You got some serious balls to get the drop on me.
"I'm pretty sure he doesn't he looks like a doll with that thing on." Jo'on commented, "And somehow that's just as disgusting." Avaritia raised an eyebrow.
VEGETA: Funny you should mention that. I just happen to be looking for a set.
DODORIA: Well, look at you, Veggie. (Nightmare King: I think he'll be a vegetable after what Frieza does to him./ Shanti: Wow not even giving the one with the ambiguous sexuality a chance?) All grown up and out on your own. Trying to move up in the world.
VEGETA: And look at you. Packing away more bacon than Hormel.
"What's that?" Nezumi asked, "I think it's a company that focuses on meat dishes." Shion replied, "Mostly outside of Gensokyo though, getting those products is very hard." Jo'on added.
DODORIA: Very funny. But you won't be laughing when Frieza finds your scrawny ass. (Starrow: I have a feeling he will actually./ Dreamiv: Me too, he just seems too dumb to realize his weakness.) So how 'bout I make you a deal? You hand over that pretty red scouter, and maybe I won't point Frieza in the right direction.
"The maybe doesn't make it a good deal." Oracle commented, "Without counting he would say it either way." Shanti agreed.
VEGETA: (holds his scouter in his hand) Oh. You mean this scouter?
DODORIA: That's right.
"I just realized that everyone that isn't native to Aqua Laguna just ignored the red flags." Anomaly noted, "Why do you think I consider it my best work?" Shiva Samba asked.
VEGETA: Well, I'd be inclined to give it to you, but, you see, there's a problem with it.
DODORIA: And what would that be?
(Vegeta crushes the scouter with his foot)
"So that's what the red flags were about." Paint nodded, "Doesn't he need that?" Puria asked.
VEGETA: It's broken.
DODORIA: Blagh! You fool! Now you're as blind as the rest of us.
VEGETA: Not quite. See, while I was on Earth, I learned a new trick. I can sense energy.
DODORIA-Fardie: How the hell'd you do that?
VEGETA: Uuhna.
DODORIA: Wait a minute! I get it now! Those little bastards I was chasing were Earthlings! You sent them to lure me away from Frieza!
"He's thinking to highly of Vegeta." Lemus mused.
VEGETA: I'm sorry, but at this point, all I hear is, "Hit me Vegeta! Please kill me! God, this armor makes me look fat!"
"I feel like that would be more effective on a woman." Tauira pointed out, "Yeah, it's pretty weird..." Miriada agreed.
DODORIA: THAT'S IT!
(Dodoria begins firing a couple of blasts in Vegeta's direction)
DODORIA: MOUTHY! LITTLE! PRICK!
"If Vegeta ever stops running his mouth they'll have to make me a God." Paint commented, "Me too." Thinner agreed, "Deal!" Shiva Samba exclaimed, "What...?" Paint and Thinner asked, "Actually maybe I should do itthe same..." Shiva Samba considered, "WHAT!?" Paint and Thinner exclaimed.
VEGETA: (appears behind Dodoria unharmed) Where ya aimin', dugong?
DODORIA: Uggghhh! (swings a punch at Vegeta, who effortlessly catches his arm)
VEGETA: (jumps as Dodoria tries to spin kick him) Uppsy-daisy! (grabs Dodoria's other and pulls both of them behind his back)
DODORIA: Aaaaaah!
"Okay, maybe he is a good fighter." Takama thought outloud, "Break his arms!" Shakara cheered.
VEGETA: Any last words, before I take you apart like a pink potato head?
DODORIA: W-Wait! I can tell you what really happened to your planet!
"Oh right, he doesn't know that." Virus remembered.
VEGETA: You mean that Frieza blew it up?
"Or maybe he does." Virus smiled.
DODORIA: No, thatFriezablewitup...! What?
VEGETA: Really should have told Frieza to keep off the Twitter.
(shows a shot of Frieza's SpaceTwitter page)
"He seems a little too proud about it." Liria frowned.
(Vegeta begins tightening his grip on Dodoria)
DODORIA: Please. Don't kill me. I beg ya. Don't kill me-e-e.
VEGETA: Look at you, Dodoria. You were always so damn proud. (Avaritia: And now he's p1ssing himself!) And now here you are, crying like a woman!
DODORIA: I AM a woman!
VEGETA-Everyone: (Wait...) Wh- What?
DODORIA: I said I AM a woman.
VEGETA-Everyone: WHAT?!
(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin, who is once again holding Dende, in the sky after escaping from Dodoria)
KRILLIN: Well, good thing I was there to get us out of that one.
GOHAN: Well, yeah, but... Why didn't you use your Kienzan?
"Cause he's stupid as f*ck!" Nezumi explained simply, "And acts like a b1tch, got it." Zettai nodded in understanding.
KRILLIN: Hey, look, I even saved this thing! Can you fly, little guy?
DENDE: My name is Dende. (starts flying in the air) And yes, we all learned when we are children.
"Heh! True." Zettai agreed.
GOHAN: You know, you should probably stick with us.
DENDE: Considering it is either that, or going back to meet the same fate as my brother and father... I am weighing my options...
"Yeah I'd rather die honestly." Shion admitted, "I'll never blame you." Jo'on reassured, "Me neither." Nightmare King said.
KRILLIN: I like you! I'm gonna call you Little Green!
DENDE: My name is Dende.
"Who cares?" Tauira's eyelids dropped, "Not Krillin clearly." Oracle sarcastically answered.
KRILLIN: Come on, Little Green, let's go introduce you to Bulma. (everyone starts to fly away)
(scene shifts back to Vegeta, with darkened eyes, listening to Dodoria's speech)
"Good thing we didn't listen to that!" Anomaly exclaimed happily.
DODORIA: ...And that's why I was considered the most beautiful—and fertile—woman on my home planet. Before Frieza blew it up.
"So this can bring happiness... Good to know..." Miriada said unsure, "You get used to it." The horsemen commented.
VEGETA: He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.
DODORIA: So now you know the truth, Vegeta.
"He does! And I don't think he wanted to know it!" Nezumi grimaced.
VEGETA: Yes, I do. And now I'm going to start repressing the truth! And the first step is killing you.
"I'd do that anyways." Pandora admitted, "Coming from you that means literally everything." Shakara commented.
DODORIA: W-w-wait! You and I, w-we could team up against Frieza! Rule the universe as husband and wife.
Cue groans of disgust.
VEGETA: Repressing in 5... (Dodoria is seen being panicked) 4... 3... (Dodoria begins to flee) 2... 1... (fires an energy wave at Dodoria, obliterating "her") Aaaand repressed.
And now cue the collective sighs of relief, "I feel better..." Tauira smiled.
(scene shifts to Gohan, Krillin, and Dende arriving at the cave where Bulma is hiding)
GOHAN: Krillin, that's the cave!
KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma. You clean up in there? (Anomaly: Oh yeah! He turned it white!/ Pandora: And that's not possible, I can assure you of that./ Shakara-Nezumi-Dramiv: *Chalenging look.*/ Pandora: By human standards./ Dreamiv: Better.) We have guests.
(a roaring sound is heard from inside the cave)
DENDE: I do not think I want to go in there.
KRILLIN: Ah, don't worry... That's just Bulma.
"She IS a monster!" Jo'on laughed, "I wasn't expecting anything else!" Nightmare King exclaimed.
DENDE: I do not know what this "Bulma" is, but it sounds needy.
(the trio are seen in front of a capsule house)
"Wait, how?" Oracle asked, "I think it's called capsule technology?" Nezumi explained, but clearly unsure herself, "That would require next level mass compression tech! What the hell!?" Oracle exclaimed.
KRILLIN: Hey, Bulma, open up!
(Bulma opens the door)
BULMA: Hm? Well, if it isn't Mr. Super Soaker himself. (Starrow: Okay, that actually might be impossible./ Thinner: I wouldn't beso sure honestly...) What happened? Got tired of abandoning me and found something else to abandon?
KRILLIN: (as Dende is seen hiding behind a rock) Bulma! You're scaring Little Green.
DENDE: I am still weighing my options.
"Dying is on the table, I forgot!" Shion smirked, "I'd take that everyday honestly." Hatsu commented.
BULMA: Oh, by the way, my dad called earlier. He says Goku's on his way here.
KRILLIN: WOOHOO!
BULMA: Aaand he'll be here in six days.
"Still riding the high horse?" Lemus asked.
KRILLIN: WOOHOO- awww... (Lemus: Thought so./ Shiva Samba: This reminds me, I never actually appointed a 'Hopelessness', I should look for candidates.) Well, good thing I took out that life insurance policy.
DENDE: Mr. Gohan? Those things on that person's chest. (referring to Bulma's boobs) What are they?
"Honestly I'm still wondering that whenever I see Shakara naked." Tauira admitted, "I explained it to you more times than I can count!" Shakara exclaimed.
GOHAN: Oh, on Bulma? Those are breasts.
DENDE: They look lovely. I wish to nestle between them.
"How can an all male species get aroused?" Anomaly asked, "Don't question it." Virus instructed.
KRILLIN: ...You are just adorable.
(Scene shifts to an outside view of Frieza's ship. Frieza is seen inside on the Space Skype talking to Captain Ginyu.)
FRIEZA: Oh, no, no, Ginyu. (Dreamiv: Again with this Ginyu name, wasn't that squad?/ Takama: Seems like an ace in the hole./ Avaritia: In that case why didn't they call them?) We won't need any assistance. We have this all under control.
"i think he hasn't gotten word of Dodoria yet." Nightmare King suggested.
ZARBON: (from the other side of a door) Lord Frieza, I wish to enter.
FRIEZA: Oh, pardon me. I have to take this. Ta-ta! (shuts down Space Skype and descents to the ground) What is it, Zarbon?
ZARBON: Well, sir, the scout has reported back.
"Ooohhh... They don't have telepathy..." Avaritia said in understanding, "The moment you guys taught us this, I was like, 'Where has this been my entire life?'" Jo'on stated.
FRIEZA: Good. So Dodoria has eliminated those pests, then?
ZARBON: Well... that's just it... It turns out... "she's" dead.
FRIEZA: ...The f**k?!
"I'm sorry, which part 'the f**k?" Paint asked, "Why not both?" Fardie asked back.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(scene shifts to outer space with Goku's ship flying through an asteroid field)
GOKU: Now, before I start training... I need the right music to train to. (Shakara: Okay, not my thing, but sure.../ Liria: Hope it's good music at least.) Let's see here. (pushes a button)
(Paul Stanley's "Live to Win" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
(Bill Conti's "Gonna Fly Now" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
(Stan Bush "Never Surrender" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
(Team America's "Montage" plays) (Goku pushes the button again)
"Nice selection so far." Liria complimented, "I'm surprised Goku has nice musical tastes." Hatsu commented.
(Lazy Town's "Cooking By the Book" plays)
GOKU: Yaaay!
"Nevermind." Hatsu frowned.
(spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)
"Let's go to the next episode alright?" Nezumi requested and Hatsu obliged.