The first time any person told Harry they loved him was when he was 14. It was in a letter from his godfather and Harry cried after reading those words. He never said it back, which was something he will always regret. Telling people he loved them wasn't Harry's strong suit, he hasn't ever actually done it before. When he finally realized he was in love with Ginny Weasley he pretty much shut the idea down, bottled up all the emotions and basically chucked them out the window, but big surprise you can't do that. Seeing her was like a knife to the gut because all he wanted to do was kiss her and tell her about all the feelings he didn't really understand. He wasn't ready to tell her though. Telling her he loved her wouldn't be a good idea but he could write it, like Sirius had.

Ginny,

I have spent years falling for you. I love you with my whole heart and soul. I forever will.

-Harry

Harry wrote the words on a small scrap of paper while at his desk at work. It was simple yet exactly how he felt, but as he read it back to himself he realized it wasn't enough. He didn't feel the need for a grand declaration but 18 words. He put the page in the top drawer of his desk and pushed the thought away from his head until he got home. With a nice, warm mug of tea he sat down at the table in his kitchen and dedicated his mind to writing a perfect love letter. He took a sip of his tea.

Ginny,

I love you, it doesn't sound like enough, just 3 words. The most intense, beautiful real thing I've ever felt and it's summed up in just 3 words.

He stabbed his quill into the table hard, snapping the tip of it. Pointing out how stupid those 3 words sounded weren't part of the not so grand but still heartfelt. He sighed pushing away from the table taking his now broken quill and his stupidly lame second draft with him up to his room. Where he had spare quills and extra parchment.

Ginny,

I've never been good at feelings, I don't know much about love. I have spent a very long time wrestling with this idea but as I sit down and write this I realize that I don't need to know much about love to know that I love you. I think about you all the time. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms. I want to be the reason for your best days and the person you vent to about your worst ones. I have never told anyone I loved them before because I've never felt love before but if this isn't love I don't know what is.

Harry's head hit the table. Reading through the words he'd written describing his feelings he didn't believe himself. Words weren't enough. Harry lifted his head slightly off the desk and brought it back down onto the desk a little bit harder than he should have. Repeating the motion until it began to hurt.

Ginevra my love,

Words cannot describe how much I love you.

Harry could bring himself to continue this one. Nobody ever called her Ginevra and even if they did he wouldn't call her that, it didn't suit her. He did however like the idea of not actually using her name. If he didn't write it specifically to her then he could pretend it wasn't for her and therefore it wouldn't be such a weighty task. Starting it with a vague greeting made everything less real. Of course if he ever plucked up the courage to actually give it to her, vague greeting or not, it would be very real.

My love,

I never expected to fall in love with you. I never expected to fall in love. But here we are, over the last few years you have become the love of my life. I would do anything for you. I would be anything for you if you want me to. You are my everything. I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy.

"Harry," the sound of his roommate's voice followed by the sharp knock on his door startled Harry. His quill skidded across the page crossing over the small blurb he'd written. "Damn it." Harry snapped This was the first draft he actually saw going somewhere and now it was ruined. "You okay?" Ron asked, opening the door. "Yeah," Harry crumpled the draft in his hand. "Yeah, I just wasn't expecting you." Harry mumbled looking over at his desk trying to square his shoulders in a way that hid the multiple different love letters from his best friend's view. "Are you busy?" Ron asked, perching on the edge of his bed. "What, no of course not." Harry replied, lying easily. Ron smiled. "Perfect, we are going out." Ron said. "Can I ask why?" Harry sighed, Ron just slowly shook his head.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione rarely did anything just the three of them anymore. Harry was pretty consistently busy as were Ron and Hermione but the two of them usually made time for each. Feeling like a third wheel, however, wasn't Harry's idea of a good night out. Harry wasn't a messy drunk, he had a fairly high tolerance so it took a while for him to even get to the point of being drunk. Half the time you couldn't even tell he was drunk he wasn't a spill all of his deepest darkest secrets drunk. He didn't really like being drunk; he usually stopped before that point. But tonight he drank and drank and then just for the fun of it he drank some more. He was falling over himself drunk by the end of the night. "Are you sure he's alright?" Hermione whispered to Ron while they helped him get out of his clothes and into bed. "I don't know, he seemed fine earlier." Ron whispered back, lifting Harry's legs now free from his shoes onto the bed. Harry cracked his eyes open to watch them leave listening closely for the telltale click of the door closing. Harry was very drunk, possibly the most drunk he's ever been in his life but he had a letter to write.

Hey sexy,

I love thinking about you making yourself come. I want you to think of me when you touch yourself. I love staring at your perfect body. I get so turned on whenever I'm near you. I want to undress you with my teeth. I think about seeing you naked all the time. I want to know if you're as good in bed as I've been imagining. I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to make you come only using my tongue. I'm going insane thinking about being inside you. I want to learn how to make you come and then spend the rest of my life making you regret the decision to teach me.

-Harry

His drink clouded brain told him this was the perfect letter to send to the love of his life. In the morning though rereading it had him feeling a bit perverse and he was very glad his drunk self hadn't already sent it. Harry went down to the kitchen to eat some breakfast bringing a new piece of parchment and his quill with him. Sitting down with some coffee and a bit of toast Harry thought about his emotions, how strong they were. How much he needed to tell someone, anyone about this. How Ginny had pretty much turned into the one person he couldn't live without. How if he told her he loved her and she didn't feel the same he would ruin everything they already had. How Harry would much rather be friends with Ginny than risk that chance. With all that he had Harry wrote down every single thought that was in his head, every worry, every fear, all of it. Smiling and singing his name Harry relaxed feeling like a weight had been lifted. That relief was only for a moment because as he leaned back in his chair he Looked at at the old, barely working clock in the kitchen and realized he was late for work. Scrambling to leave Harry left his perfectly worded letter on the kitchen table. Which would turn out to be a blessing in disguise.