Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Note: This is EMS Sasuke after hearing Hashirama's story, but before joining the war. Also, there will be some profanity in this fic, as well as dark humour.
Sasuke doubled over, groaning in pain. There was a deep, searing ache in the pit of his stomach. His vision was hazy. Sounds started to distort as the air particles began to warp. Suigetsu looked at him, concerned. Sasuke's words drowned out. The gound swayed beneath his feet in an irritating sensation of falling - falling deep, into some sort of abyss, as he experienced the maddening feeling of disconnection from the world.
And then, he was connected again. He was connected and aware of every skin cell, every neuron, every overstimulated pain receptor, on the atomic level. Indescribable, excruciating pain that could've driven him insane.
Suddenly, it stopped, leaving Sasuke in crippling silence, except for the aggravating sound of his blood flowing in his arteries.
His surroundings had changed. And now, everything felt normal again - at least internally. Sasuke forced his eyes open. They stung, meeting salty water. Beyond him was an endless expanse of blue, blue water. His feet managed to kick powerfully, propelling him upwards.
Despite the ongoing ache in his body, Sasuke's desperation to survive overpowered it. The water obeyed him, letting him phase through, towards the sweet, sweet oxygen.
Finally, he glided upwards, getting a taste of oxygen. He treaded the water, heaving deep, slow breaths. Sasuke spotted shore, and waded frenetically towards it.
At last, he nearly trodded on the seemingly soft sand, before recoiling, realising that the beach was dotted in several scathing shards of glass. Sasuke treaded carefully, letting himself rest when he reached safe sands. He was sprawled out, gazing emptily at the sapphire sky. It was completely cloudless. The sun beat down on him with blistering heat.
What the actual fuck, he thought to himself. Numerous questions plagued his mind, all of them unanswered. He would have to scour for answers to this befuddling mystery himself.
Reluctantly, Sasuke forced himself to stand. The aching feeling had nearly dissipated. It wouldn't be too much of a hindrance. Now, Sasuke was determined to figure out what exactly happened to him. And to do that, he needed to explore this strange new place.
Sasuke's dead gaze bore into the newspaper. He continued staring at it, almost in disbelief, upon seeing the year, as well as reading some news articles. He rationalised that, somehow, this was a case of unprecedented time travelling - and so, he found himself at the very beginning of the Third Shinobi War. This was the era of the Yondaime Hokage, as well as several other catastrophic ninja.
Sasuke facepalmed. Right now, he was in a quaint cafe/bar on the outskirts, in a cozy town - a cluster of civilians trying desperately to survive the war. His complete inability and lack of power was downright aggravating. In his head, he kept repeating the phrase 'You're weak' like it was a mantra.
Sucking in a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down. Despite his ineptitude, he still had one overwhelming advantage: knowledge of future events. Thanks to his fervour back in the Academy, he had memorised every history textbook word for word. He knew what was going to happen, and when it was going to happen.
Briefly, he pondered multiple scenarious: the idea that this was some sick genjutsu, or the Infinite Tsukuyomi, or something else entirely. He was forced to disregard them for now - plaguing himself with those ideas would only frustrate him.
As the waitress plopped a shot of vodka down on his table, she glanced at him, looking concerned.
"Excuse me, sir, are you alright?"
He snapped out of his reverie.
"Yes. Why do you ask?" He was on edge, and extremely panicked.
"Because you ordered vodka. It's 9am. And also..." she trailed off, looking sheepish.
"You don't have any money, do you?"
Sasuke internally cursed. He was penniless. He laid his head on the table, mumbling.
"Just take it back..." he replied in a defeated tone. She did, leaving him alone, while muttering something about alcoholics.
Sasuke steeled his nerves. It was obvious what anyone in his position would do; they'd change the future! Sasuke was a reserved, brooding individual, clearly due to his trauma, but now, he didn't have to be! This was a fresh, new start.
He began contemplating what he'd want the future to look like - ascertaining his goals was always the first step. What did he want, exactly? Itachi's safety, the continuance of his clan...yes, it became clear what he needed to do. There was one thing he could do that would help him keep his family safe.
"This war needs to end," he whispered to himself. With that, Sasuke felt reinvigorated and reenergised as he confidently stood up.
His mind whirred, calculating his next actions speedily. His mind began formulating a methodical list of tasks to accomplish. His previous mopiness had vanished, leaving behind pure determination and adrenaline.
But first, before he began anything, he needed some f*cking money.
Scouring the Bingo book had proved useful. There was an extensive list of names - all with a sizable bounty. Taking out some of these ninja would net him a good amount of cash, but Sasuke wasn't sure he wanted the infamy that came with it.
"Eh, who gives a fuck?" Sasuke muttered to himself, dog-earing several pages of ninja he wanted to take out. He figured he might as well start now. Still engrossed in the book, he subconsciously patted his hip, sighing in annoyance when he remembered that he didn't have Kusanagi.
I'll go after one of those clowns from Kiri, he thought. Fuguki Suikazan...one of the Seven Swordsmen, not too strong, would go on to be succeeded by Kisame. He was last seen on the outskirts of Kiri...yeah, he'll do.
Sasuke paused. He didn't actually know where he was. Rolling his eyes, he checked a nearby map (weirdly enough, maps were everywhere in this time period). Accordingly, he should be in the Land of Water. Well, that was convenient.
He began walking in Kirigakure's general direction, taking the time to think.
Apathetically, Sasuke walked over, calmly approaching the swordsman.
"Hello. Are you Fuguki Suikazan?" His demeanour was calm and relaxed, as if this was a polite chitchat.
Fuguki glared daggers at him, probably not realising that Sasuke was also a ninja.
"Depends who's asking." His voice was gruff and angry.
"I'll take that as a yes." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'll keep it quick: I want to kill you. I need the bounty."
The man laughed in his face, guffawing. Sasuke remained stoic and passive.
"You? Are you shitting me, kid? There's no way I'll be taken down by a scrawny brat like-" Sasuke interrupted him, forcefully punching his jaw. He decided to take him down the old-fashioned way - without his Sharingan, because there were a lot of onlookers steadily observing the fight.
Fuguki reacted almost instantaneously, and with absolute fury. He whipped out his sword - Samehada. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke was pretty knowledgeable on how this thing worked. As long as him and his chakra stayed clear, it may as well have been an ordinary sword.
It did make using jutsu a little difficult, however. Sasuke briefly wondered what would happen to Samehada if he used Amaterasu on it. But he wasn't stupid, and his sense of self-preservation beat his curiosity, so he refrained.
"Hah, he loves you! You're a walking buffet for him!" Fuguki yelled, moving with purposeful alacrity. Sasuke was unfazed, dodging skillfully until he managed to evade Samehada, appearing behind Fuguki with frightening dexterity.
Sasuke kicked the back of his neck, not thinking much of it. He winced, as he accidentally launched Fuguki headfirst into Samehada's scales. And then Samehada began eating Fuguki's chakra, depleting him slowly and parasitically. Sasuke wasn't the buffet, but Samehada's owner was.
Transfixed, he watched the gory scene, feeling slightly disgusted.
Oops.
He didn't mean to do that. But it happened anyway, and it's not like he could've gone back and given Fuguki a less bizarre death. Sasuke picked up a stick, using it to pry Fuguki's corpse from the still hungry Samehada. He needed his dead head.
People stared at the scene, their gazes flickering back and forth from Sasuke to Samehada. They looked on with immense disgust.
"What? It was an accident," Sasuke stated. "Sort of."
Sasuke glanced at Samehada - now without an owner. It moaned sadly, seeming to regard Sasuke. Well, theoretically, Sasuke could take Samehada.
He decided against it - did he really want such a treacherous, slimy, hideous sword? The best thing to do would be to just leave it there. It's not like he needed it.
He slowly sliced through Fuguki's body, detaching the head. He packaged the severed head nicely, starting to walk towards the nearest bounty office, while simultaneously humming a tune.
While reclined on a sofa in yet another cafe, he merrily ordered lunch (this time while he had money, to his joy). Sasuke crossed through Fuguki's face with a red marker. Killing him got him enough cash to last a month, if he lived sparingly.
Soon, he'd find his next target, kill them, get the money, repeat, until he had enough. The obvious choice was to assassinate the strongest people who made the biggest impact on prolonging the war. Perhaps then, the war would end.
...Or he could just kill a few Kage. That would certainly end at least something. Or it would make the war even worse.
He sighed, feeling frustrated. Too many variables, too many possibilities, with too high stakes.
Sasuke decided to go for a peaceful stroll along the battlefields. Maybe he could clear his head by barging into random battles and getting attacked by ninja. That sounded pleasant.
He gazed at a particular page in the Bingo Book: a double page on the Third Raikage. He'd be dead in a few months anyway, and if Sasuke managed to kill him, then Kumo would essentially be out of commission.
Dog-earing this page, Sasuke smirked. He had some training to do.
Omake
Note: Omakes are completely unrelated to the story. This omake is actually from my earlier, crappier version of this fic, but I loved it so much, I just had to recycle it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and please feel free to give me any constructive criticism.
"Whatever shall we do today, Kabuto?" Orochimaru put his hands on his hips, glancing around his laboratory for things to do.
"Well," Kabuto started, pulling out the book of forbidden jutsu, "We could experiment with the Edo Tensei a little."
He pushed up his glasses so they glinted, "By my calculations, we've gathered enough knowledge for a practical testing." Orochimaru patted Kabuto on the head.
"Good job, Kabuto. The equipment is all set up, I'm sure."
Orochimaru opened his closet, revealing seven perfect pieces of sacrificial material. He dragged a skeleton towards the centre of his laboratory. The next step was to give the dead a gift - aka an incentive for their souls to visit - so Orochimaru tossed a glittery purple backpack on the skeleton.
The Edo Tensei jutsu required an extensive sequence of hand signs, so Kabuto and Orochimaru chanted together until a brilliant white light blinded them. It was working! They were doing something! Orochimaru wondered what sort of shinobi he had summoned - an S-rank nukenin, a Tsuchikage, an ANBU captain or perhaps a kekkei genkai user?
It was a little girl, wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts and the purple backpack. The outfit choice itself was hideous.
"Hola, soy Dora! What's your name?" She waved at them.
"I am Orochimaru," he proudly announced, "and I-"
It's nice to meet you!" She grinned at having interrupted him. "It looks like we've been kidnapped!" Dora proclaimed with a giant smile on her face, "Do you know how to get out of here?"
Kabuto leant in towards him, whispering. "Orochimaru-sama, who is she talking to?" Orochimaru crossed his arms angrily.
"Did this dumb bitch just interrupt me?"
Dora continued to stare unblinkingly at the wall, "That's correct! The door!" She went up to the door and tugged on the handle. Well, Orochimaru did lock it very tightly.
"Oh no! This door is locked." Her smile widened. "Say it with me. Open, door! Open!" She paused. "Again!" She chanted again.
It opened. Orochimaru was regretting his life decisions. Dora paused, waving at nobody, and walked through, somehow avoiding the traps. He followed her outside. Clearly, this girl was very skilled, albeit disturbed, and highly trained.
"We need to find a lake. Do you know where the lake is?" She went still and unblinking.
"It's right behind you, idiot," Orochimaru said. This girl was dumb.
"Thank you! We need to build a boat to get out of here. Can you help me build a boat?" Orochimaru wondered what the fuck this girl was doing. Although, he wouldn't really be losing anything if he let her wander away.
"Go that way," he pointed towards Iwa's general direction, "Everyone is so friendly there." He might as well be an asshole. A boat appeared out of nothing, and Dora got in and began rowing towards Iwa.
Hehe. That's what little kids get for interrupting Orochimaru.