DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Mito speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

"YOU SON OF A FUCKNUGGET," Mito cried (or more accurately, angrily sobbed,) bouncing once more on top of her father's chest. The Hokage was frantically trying to wave his guard off and intermittently coughing, although Tenzo had his jutsu wrapped loosely around Mito's chest and neck. Mito's chains were wrapped around his limbs.

"Blah-ah-ahk!" Something had really upset his daughter, Minato thought, hoping he lived through having her violently bounce, seated sideways on his torso, shaking her fists up and down for leverage like when she was a little girl. Thankfully she wasn't on her feet and more importantly, she wasn't using chakra. He was also sorely reminded of her mother who used to do this regularly, although, of course, it was different for him then. Not so much for Kushina's teammates.

"You," Mito began to sob, "You didn't tell me Naruto got kidnapped!" She crawled off him as Tenzo's jutsu withdrew and covered her head with her hands, hating herself and feeling like such an overwhelming failure.

"When?" His blue eyes went wide when he realized that she meant years ago. "I - I didn't?"

Mito gasped and pulled the chains that were still around him tighter. "What do you mean 'When?!' And what do you mean you don't know whether or not you told me? I can assure you that you did NOT!" She put her face in her hands again, silently crying miserably, and crawled over to re-sit on him.

"When your father's being a jerk, it's best to crush him a little," Kushina grinned. "Or a lot. It always works. –It works with everybody, really."

"It really does," Mikoto agreed, nodding with a coy look on her face.

"Um," Mito said, tapping her chin as she thought about it. "Don't we already do that?"

"Yes!" Kushina grinned at her friend. "But Miko-chan likes to try to set Fu-teme on fire, too."

"Don't tell her that, Shina! –You're mother's just joking, honey."

Kushina dramatically rolled her eyes. "You're the one who blew the fireball."

Mikoto twitched. "I'll show you a fireball, Red!"

Mito excitedly jumped. "I want to see a fireball! Please, please, please?"

Mikoto put her nose in the air, supremely pleased. "Absolutely."

"Um," Raido began, very uncomfortable with all of this. He'd never seen Mito cry before - although he had seen his Hokage get sat on in a bounce attack, although that was a long time ago. He'd also heard that this was how the first Princess Mito handled Senju Hashirama. Additionally, Tsunade-hime was said to have done the same thing to her teammates before Jiraiya began begging for it; or that's how the story went, anyway. He told Mito the same thing he used to say to her mother, Kushina: "Please don't crush Hokage-sama."

Mito sniffed, totally wound up and shaky, in an emotional freefall (and PMSing like a bitch!) "A-a-are you calling me FAT?"

"No! –No, ma'am!" He scrunched his face up as he looked for aid from Iwashi - who was hiding behind Minato's desk. Not that he could blame him. When Mito was a teenager and badly injured, she'd still managed to hurl a massive cabinet-bed thing at him. She'd really nailed him that day, despite their attempts to dodge. Despite it having previously been bolted to the floor. Fortunately, Mito let the Hokage go, asking for them to "arrest him for being an ass. Oh, and go ahead and arrest me, too," and crawled onto the nearest couch, looking spent as she tried to dry what seemed like neverending tears.

"Dismissed," Minato ordered. Adorably, his daughter got up to leave, too. He gently pushed her shoulders down so that he could sit with her on the couch, incredibly glad when Mito allowed him to tuck her under his arm and hold her close. "Sweet girl. I'm so sorry." He took a deep breath, remembering what happened on one of the very worst days of his life: when his children were each kidnapped. "How did you hear about it?"

"That's not the question," Mito whined. Whined! She winced at the sound, hating herself even more.

"I know, I know," Minato soothed. "You and Naruto were taken at the same time. …You were so hurt, Mito." He clenched one of his fists, rubbing his eyes as his mind replayed finding the cell his daughter had been held in: her blood, teeth, and skin soaking/littering the floor; that surprised, vile old man holding his freaking erection; the other with a bloody knife in his hand. "And you'd disappeared."

Minato leaned over and kissed the top of her head, closing his eyes as he realized that was the first time in years that he'd been able to do that. Mito apparently still used her mother's shampoo and also had that faint scent of the beach or sea salt that he loved so much; that Kushina first pointed out and was so proud of. Basking in it, he took a deep breath and dove into the story of how Naruto was taken at the same time she was; was honest in how Danzo planned to use Naruto; how no one outside of their extended family, up until then, knew that she was also a jinchuuriki.

When the whole story was out a half-hour or so later, Mito took a shuddering breath, fresh tears coming to her eyes. Her voice came out as a whisper and she spoke more to her own heart than him. "I promised Mom I'd watch out for him. WHY did I have to fuck everything up!? WHY did I have to lose you all?"

Minato stroked her red and blonde hair, not caring that he was supposed to be on the phone with the daimyo right now. "You didn't mess up anything, sweetie." Mito scoffed and let out a miserable little sound that hurt his heart. "And when it comes to loss," he began but stopped himself. "What do you mean, about your mother?"

Mito sniffed and tightly shut her eyes. "I promised Mom I'd watch out for Naruto and take care of him," she whimpered again, not revealing much. "She's gotta be so disappointed in me! If I'd just listened to you…"

"No, Mito; I won't have you saying or thinking that! Your mother: I KNOW she's watching us from above and is so, so proud of you."

Mito shook her head, pulling a tissue out of one of the seals on her fingers and making her father snort. She blew her nose and tried to get herself together. She needed to go back to the Fire temple for Anko, who had to be furious with her. "I promised Mom to look after you two and instead got myself sent away. And all that time I was gone…"

Minato drowned in guilt, knowing that was his fault, although he didn't quite understand what she meant until she continued.

"You never wanted me to become a kunoichi. Had I not been such a stubborn, absolute BITCH, I could've had all those years with Mom! And you - and Naruto."

"Oh, Mito," Minato breathed, shocked. He may have told her or Kushina that once (or maybe twice? Maybe more?) but it was when she was a very little girl; only when he'd been frustrated - and he didn't think she remembered it - or that she'd blamed herself. Mito being exiled was his fault, plain and simple. He'd been weak. "I… I guess I said that but it was only because I missed you so much when you were off training those times I finally got home! Or - and- I was so worried for you." All the time. I still am.

"I didn't know that Ojii-san would die," she whispered after a few stifling minutes, breaking. She and her father had never talked about this before. It had been kinda "left out there" like so much other stuff between them.

"I know that, baby. Sandaime-sama - Hiruzen - made that very clear in his letters to each and every one of us."

Mito took a deep shuddering breath before letting out a breathy, grief-filled chuckle. "I don't know why Hideki and Asuma don't hate me." She got their father killed.

"Mito-chan…"

"And I feel like I barely know Naruto," Mito mourned. She was far closer to Asuma or possibly even Hideki than she might be to Naruto. Wasn't that pathetic and awful? "Or that I live life, pretending to know him. He's been so good to me even though I'm such a shit sister. –I love Naru so much it hurts and… God, Mom," she grimaced, curling in on herself, "she TRUSTED me!"

Minato rubbed her arm, afraid of making things worse the way he always seemed to with her. "Why… What did your mother say to you? Why do you think she'd be so hard on you, Mi? You know Kushina wasn't like that."

Mito slowly shook her head, still staring at the floor. "She was too forgiving." Her father's sarcastic chuckle made her look up and give him a slight glare.

Minato's lip curled up into a smirk as he thought about his fiery wife anyway. "C'mon now. Uzumaki anger: am I right?"

Mito couldn't deny what he'd said and at least a dozen instances of her mother's anger replayed out in her mind. Uzumaki Kushina didn't take shit from people, especially when it came to Mito and God, could she get angry at her father or Tsunade. Or Jiraiya. Or… well, anyone, really.

"Don't you fuck with my daughter, asshole!" Then her mother gasped, looking at a gleeful tiny Mito, a little horrified. "Look what you did! You made me curse in front of her! Prepare for vengeance!"

"So she'll be more angry than disappointed." That didn't sound right even as Mito said it.

"Oh, she'll be both - but that's with me, not you, Mito."

"Sorry," Mito mumbled, feeling bad about everything. She also knew that her father was right and that was heartbreaking. "I… I would've really liked to have been part of our family, 'ttebane."

Minato felt his heart break. Did Mito not feel like she was part of their family?

"I mean part of what you and Naru have, ya know?" Just for a minute, she told herself, Mito rested her head on her father's chest, hanging onto his cloak like a child.

"Stay with me for a bit," Minato finally requested, waving off one of his men who looked in through the window. "How about I order some ramen for us? Teuchi has probably opened up his stand by now and he never minds sending one of his guys over to deliver to his best customers." Mito nodded against his shoulder and he closed his eyes, dropping his chin down to rest on her head. As sad as all of this was, he felt a smile begin to grow on his face when he reopened them. He slightly shook his head, giving her head another quick peck. Mito's hair, which was almost all he could see of her right now, was so wild. It - and she - represented everything he and Kushina had ever had. "I love you so much. Do you know that?"

"Hm. I love you, too, Tou-san."

An hour or so later -

Mito took the ass-kicking Anko gave her like a champ, only fighting back when one of Anko's cuter restraining-oriented snakes looked at her curiously and then hissed and bit her nose. Minutes later, she wrinkled it again, rubbing and healing any possible remaining tiny marks, grateful that he wasn't a poisonous boy.

"I thought I was going to have to walk back," Anko groaned, lying in the grass beside her.

"Lazy."

"Hung over," Anko clarified. "Oh, yeah; Jiraiya told me to tell you 'later.' Said he was in a hurry."

Mito closed her eyes. "Naturally," I wasn't here to even say goodbye to my brother. Again. "He left with Naruto and Sora, I assume."

"Yep," Anko said, turning on her side and not reading the mood. She propped herself up, resting her head on her palm, and let out a long sigh. "You can't tell anyone," she whispered. "Jiraiya said you already promised to keep it quiet but FYI: they're off to Suna."

"Ah," Mito agreed amiably. She had promised to keep their trip a secret and was a little surprised Jiraiya even told Anko. Jiraiya really liked Anko, though, and felt somewhat responsible for her as his goddaughter's best friend - especially after what his teammate did so unfairly to Anko, his apprentice. "I did."

"Yep. …I think Jiraiya suspects that Hokage-sama is trying to get Naruto and Temari-hime together."

Mito went cold and began counting as she tried to reign in her temper once the shock over what she'd said faded. The grass underneath them had frosted over. She could see her breath even in the heat of the day, so Mito closed her eyes and focused on withdrawing her chakra more as Anko scolded her.

She'd just had what could almost be seen as a breakthrough with her father or their relationship and now this. "No," Mito told herself - and Anko. "Naruto's a You Know What," a jinchuuriki, "he can't leave Konoha to live elsewhere." Thank Kami Naruto loves Konoha; otherwise, I'd have to bust some heads.

Fuck.

Anko shrugged. "Who knows the real details of the peace treaty, though. Maybe the Suna princess will have to move to Konoha to be with him."

Mito wouldn't allow herself to consider it - and didn't believe her father would use Naruto like that. Why the fuck couldn't things ever simply be clear and as they seemed (or should be) in the ninja world?! A sudden realization hit her like a brick to the head. "Shit! –I bet it's not NARUTO they're trying to hook her up with. It's Sora!"

"No way," Anko replied easily with a wave of her hand, not knowing certain information. "With the pedigree she has, Temari-hime would have to hook up with someone from a clan. Don't you think?"

Oh, but Sora has a clan, Mito thought to herself: a powerful one. Sora was a secret Senju, a descendant of Lord Second. Holy moly. "I just… I can't believe my father would do that." Jiraiya would probably flip. "No way. …Just, no." The seal on the back of her palm lit up in a purple diamond and Mito let out a sigh, showing it to Anko. "Tsunade's got a case for me."

Anko allowed Mito to pull her up, getting ready for the horror of riding along with the Flying Thunder Goddess. "No rest for the wicked, am I right?"

"Right."

The kunoichis disappeared from the Fire Temple in a flash of red, yellow, and purple.

Later that evening -

Mito ran into her precious brats right after handing over the stuff Chiriku had given her to Shikaku, which was right after a long surgery. Shikaku had looked so damn sad and worried - but he did say that he wouldn't let anyone else know about the Fire temple elders if he could help it. Not that Mito admitted to killing them. That would be stupid.

"You look like shit," Kiba happily summed up. Hinata and Shino berated him but it wasn't like Kiba was wrong.

Mito placed her palm over his hooded head, flexing her fingers to scratch him like a dog, and then bent over, doing the same as she greeted Akamaru. "I've had a long day." But that didn't mean she wasn't glad to see them. Mito loved her cubs. "So! What are you four up to?"

Shino pulled out a detailed drawing of what looked like a twisted Mobius strip. A figure 8 for Team 8. "This is our first opportunity to approach the tattoo artist you recommended."

"I've only seen his drawings, ya know," Mito clarified. She had seen the guy working on a tattoo or two a few times: the bald guy was talented as an artist and kept a clean shop but it's not like he'd worked on her or her friends before - that Mito knew of. "Nice drawing, Shino. Do you want me to go with you?" All three nodded, grinning, Kiba most excitedly. "And you lost Ko?" she asked Hinata pointedly. Hinata nervously nodded, her dojutsu activating to recheck - and Mito reached out her senses to find him, feeling that Hinata was right. The Jonin let out a snort. Ko was following Hinata's shadow clone.

"Hina's worried about where to put the design. My tat's going around my nipple!" Mito closed her eyes and groaned, dropping her head back as they continued walking. The Inuzuka broke out laughing at her reaction but he was totally serious. It was going to look badass! Later, when I get that nipple pierced, it's going to look thoroughly awesome, he thought. "That's where you're putting yours, too, right Hinata?" he teased and went flying when his teammate nailed him with a gentle fist strike. "Ow!"

"N- no!" Hinata felt her face heat up terribly and appreciated Akamaru barking at Kiba, scolding him more. She turned to her sensei who looked much too amused with what Kiba said for her taste. "Wh- where do you think that seal you mentioned sh- should go, sensei?" She needed to hide her tattoo from all-seeing eyes, after all, and that was a reminder that their sensei had promised to help. And I want the seal to look good with our Figure 8.

Mito crossed her arms, tapping her chin as they continued their stroll. "I have been thinking about it," she admitted. "How about your palm? –That way when the seal activates you can withdraw a kunai from it, like I do." Hinata's eyes were big and the way she blinked up at her in awe made Mito momentarily want to squee and cuddle her like one of the dolls she'd never played with. "Plus, while the tattoo heals, you can cover it with bandages like your cousin, Neji, does, ne? No one would think twice about it. Would they?" Mito didn't freaking know! Hyuugas were weird.

"Y- you've really thought about it," Hinata breathed, delighted.

"Of course I have. You three are my cubs!"

Kiba returned, interrupting her and rubbing his sore shoulder with the arm that still worked. "Don't call us that!"

"My wee wittle kitties!"

"NO!"

Shino put his sunglasses back on, having cleaned them as they walked together. "Can you not heal them faster for us, sensei?"

"I COULD but I'm already allowing this nonsense so I think you three need to feel the burn, shall we say? –I also don't know how iryo-ninjutsu works with seals plus the tattoos and healing so… best to let it be, I think." She needed to talk to the tattoo guy about it. Mito was more concerned about how the tattoos would last if ninjutsu was used to speed healing along. All three kids pouted. They were really adorable. "No pain, no gain, ne?" Reluctant murmurs of agreement followed and Shino took the lead in getting them to the tattoo parlor that was next to what Mito had learned was her friends' favorite sex shop in the Red Light district. She winked at the stuffy clerk manning the place, shielding the kids' precious eyes away from the toys and lingerie in the window.

Mito absolutely noticed that Hinata's dojutsu had activated as they passed. "You little pervert."

"Eep!"

Evidence, enough, Mito thought, thoroughly entertained. That girl was looking right through her! "Only one vice today, children. Eyes on the prize, ne?"

The bald guy looked up from the civilian he was working on and grinned at her. "Mito-san!"

"How's it going? –I'm afraid we weren't properly introduced before." She bowed her head a bit and reintroduced herself, and then introduced her team.

"I'm Hari," the tattoo artist told them, running his hand along his bald head. "Ironic, huh?"

Mito grabbed Kiba's shoulder, patting it, before he could say something embarrassing. "A little," she grinned. "My kiddos want to get our team number tattooed on their small selves. Show him what you were thinking, Shino."

Shino softly grumbled about being called small - he was very tall for his age - but followed his sensei's orders, pulling out his drawing. "If you have other ideas, we are amenable to considering them. As long as the number 8 is clear."

"Huh," Hari remarked, liking the general design. "Simple and stylish. I like it. Black and gray tones only?" He glanced up at Mito when the kids began debating using colors and such. The idea was a little boring but for a group of (mainly) newbies, it was acceptable. "Where are you putting it? And are um… their parents okay with this?" These were obviously shinobi clan kids. Important ones, too, if he wasn't mistaken.

"I… take responsibility," Mito muttered reluctantly, causing her kids to cheer again. Even Shino: he really wants this. "They want 'em in different places."

"I want to tattoo my nipple," Kiba said immediately, taking charge and grabbing a hold of his. Hinata hid her face in her hands and swayed. Shino grabbed her shoulders, sighing, as he held her up. "Or around it, ya know. Like the top loop of the '8' around it."

"Gotcha," Hari said, not hiding a grin. He'd worked on Inuzukas before. They were KNOWN for wanting tattoos in or around… let's say, much more challenging areas than that, he thought to himself. Considering Inuzuka kids/"pups" got their cheeks tattooed as toddlers - and then had to have them adjusted or recolored every handful of years, it wasn't surprising. There were a lot of real ink addicts in that clan. He led Mito over to his scheduling book. "I appreciate your father sending you my way," he whispered as he looked for openings. "Please give Minato my regards."

Mito's red eyebrows climbed into her hair. "My father has a tattoo?"

Hari's eyes went wide. "Oh, shit." Mito began chuckling, looking so much like her mother as she tried to hide her snickers that he felt a surge of warmth rush through him. "Yeah. I thought he was the one who'd sent you my way. Um… he does. But let's keep that between us, okay?"

"Sure," Mito agreed, desperate to know - yet a TINY bit fearful of knowing - what kind of tattoo her father had. "You know him well then?"

Hari shrugged his shoulders, ducking his head as he pretended to more closely look over his calendar. "For a long time."

"Ah, but you simply called him Minato. You're a friend," she teased. "Let'ssssss… also keep me being in here away from 'Dear Old Dad's,' knowledge base, ne?"

"No Can Do, Mito-san."

"Wha–" Mito began but wound up fisting her hands in frustration. "Shit."

Why did her father have to be the damn Hokage?!

"You're back," Minato grinned, putting his pen down. It was rare that he saw Mito twice in one day. "Feeling better?" She looked better.

"I do," Mito smiled. Her team always made her feel better. "Can um, we get some privacy? Just for a sec?"

Minato didn't really have time but flicked his fingers, sending the hidden ANBU flying. "What's going on?"

Mito took a deep breath. It was better that she address this than having her father learn about it from the tattoo guy and get all kinds of weird ideas. She didn't need him poking around and ruining her team's fun, either. "Hari said you have a tattoo."

Minato gasped. "You know Hari?" he asked, with a huge smile, clearly surprising her. "You wanna see it?"

"Um," Mito breathed, gobsmacked. This isn't how she thought this would go. Mito had figured that her father would be all embarrassed and go into a story about how he'd gotten a tattoo; that it was a mistake; yada yada. "Sure," she drawled. Her blue eyes went wide as her father took off his kage cloak with a flourish, then dropped his vest and turned around, grabbing the back of his shirt, ready to take it off, too. Mito closed her eyes, grimacing. Oh, God!

"What do you think?"

Mito opened her eyes and tried to breathe. "Good Lord! You look like a Yakuza!" He had a big fire-breathing dragon on his back! It took up the whole thing!

"Well, yeah," he said, his feelings hurt a little. "I mean… I'm Hokage."

Mito's mouth was hanging open and she tried to put her worldview back together as her father put on his shirt again. "Impressive uh… dragon-thing you've got there, Tou-san."

"Thanks," he said with a slight blush. That's more like it! "I call it the Fire Shadow. –Did you see the shadow?" A knock disturbed them before she answered him and he sat back down after getting his cloak on, slightly amused when Mito tripped on her way toward the window. "Lord Third had a great monkey but I preferred something less… toad-oriented for myself. –Don't tell them that." He gave her a wink.

"Oh- okay," Mito agreed, wondering if she knew her father at all. "See you Thursday?"

"Thursday it is!"

Three hours after that -

Mito answered her door in a very simple yukata, her long hair wet from just having showered. "Kakashi!"

"Maa," Kakashi began shyly. "Saw your light on. …Heard you had a rough day." He turned his head, looking away from how her dripping hair had dampened her cotton robe, giving him more than a hint of something he'd like to wrap his lips around. Looking into her beautiful eyes, he knew that he'd even lick and suck those if she'd only give him a chance. He was pretty fucked. "I shouldn't have come by so late."

Mito looked at him thoughtfully, softy humming. "I'm glad you did. …Would you like to come in?"