"Do you ever have any trouble in the morning sticking in all those pins nice and neat?" asked the little girl with actual curiosity in her voice while looking up at the demon whose head was indeed studded with many nails done in an intricate pattern.

She continued chattering under Pinhead's bemused gaze, "Daddy sometimes cuts himself shaving then but it's different—"

The Hell Priest ignored that at what'd just caught his eye, the little ornate wooden box lying on the cavern floor of their otherworldly locale. The box's sides were spread apart, which meant…

"Did you open that box?" Pinhead inquired in his coldest tone.

The little girl perhaps six or seven years old followed Mr. Nails' gaze, bending down to snatch up the box and proudly display this to her questioner. "Yes! Isn't it pretty? Easy, too."

Pinhead hesitated. Even for such as him, there were rules. Those who opened the Lament Configuration for evil and depraved purposes deserved causing Pinhead and his Cenobite companions do whatever they liked with those unfortunates, but innocents were off-limits.

Studying further the little girl happily regarding him in turn, Pinhead inwardly sighed. This was an utter waste of his time, so simply send her back to this child's previous location—

Abruptly staring past Pinhead, the little girl screamed, dropped the Lament Configuration, and dashed around the former Captain Elliot Spencer, who wearily wondered what'd just happened now.

About to turn around, Pinhead paused, remembering that the girl's scream hadn't been one of terror or any other affright. Rather, it'd been a short, gleeful screech of: "DOGGY!"

Beginning to actually dread what he was about to see, Pinhead turned in a half circle. Sure enough, the little girl was enthusiastically hugging the Chatterer Beast by its thick neck, despite her thin arms unable to completely meet around that broad part of the demonic canine.

The Chatterer Beast itself was frozen in place on all fours, giving off an evident air of total bewilderment. Something like this had never happened before, so the beast had no idea what to do but to stand there and take it.

From out of the cavern shadows, a dreadful being glided forward, stopping just behind the Chatterer Beast and the little girl who then noticed the bald woman standing there in her black, clinging outfit and mutilated throat cut so deep the front of her spine was exposed.

The younger female responded to the horrendous newcomer by releasing one arm from her death grip of the Chatterer Beast and cheerfully waving this hand towards who'd just joined them.

"Hello, pretty lady! Is this your doggy?"

Without bothering about any reply, the little girl then let go of the Chatterer Beast to exclaim while delightedly looking it in the eye, "He's beeeyoootiful!"

Next came the little girl leaning forward to give the Chatterer Beast a big, smacking kiss on the tip of its nose.

Open/Deep Throat glanced at Pinhead, the bare patch on her face where her eyebrows had been shaved shifting up a fraction.

Pinhead himself mightily refrained from pinching the bridge of his nose. Instead, he called out, "Child, come here."

Promptly obeying, the little girl skipped over to stop in front of Pinhead and give him a picture-perfect curtsey.

This time, Pinhead's own missing eyebrows went up. It was so rare the young showed proper manners nowadays.

Clearing his throat, the Hell Priest said with for him was actual kindness, "Miss, you must leave now. I will send you back unharmed—"

"Can I come again to play with the doggy?" begged the little girl with all the eager charm she possessed.

Absolutely taken aback, Pinhead gaped down at the child. His thunderstruck reaction wasn't helped any by Open/Deep Throat's atypical low gurgle of amusement.

Blinking several times, Pinhead rallied, "We'll see. In the meantime…"

Trailing off, Pinhead had a sudden thought he should've asked before. "What is your name, child?"

Performing another faultless curtsey, the little girl answered, "Luna Lovegood, sir."

Years later:

Surrounded by Voldemort and his Death Eaters in the Hogwarts Great Hall, Harry Potter and his friends braced for their last stand. Before a great deal of magical violence broke out, however, one young female with slightly protuberant eyes standing next to Harry, Hermione, and Ron turned to the Boy-Who-Wasn't-Going-To-Live-Much-Longer, asking him, "Harry, do you mind awfully if I ask some friends for help?"

"Now?!" came in response from a good many throats, including one or two Death Eaters who simply couldn't stop themselves.

"Well," Luna amiably shrugged, "There's a good reason I waited for this, so if you don't mind?"

This last was addressed to none other than Lord Voldemort, who suspiciously eyed the young witch for a moment.

*Bah,* You-Know-Who mentally reassured himself, *This is just a desperate delaying measure. It'd be quite amusing to see their hopes dashed, so let this be over and done forthwith.*

An indifferent flick of permission done by Voldemort's wand held ready for instant use if needed caused Luna to reach up to her ears and unclip her radish earrings.

Holding up these small objects so everyone in the Great Hall could see, Luna's fingers busily worked away. The next second later, the radish earrings shimmered into a new shape of a little wooden box. Once again, the witch's fingers pushed, touched, and moved in the proper order for the sides of the box to shift apart.

Gloom instantly descended in the Great Hall, and a bell tolled, sounding as if this slow chime of doom was produced from something the size of Westminster Cathedral.

Everyone there, all the wizards and witches of whatever age and identifying as of the Light or Dark side froze in surprise.

The bell tolled again.

From out of nowhere, a group of very scary people appeared between the Hogwarts occupants and the Death Eaters, making them all unconsciously back away.

There was a massive, misshaped hellhound; a woman with her throat sliced and held open; an obese man in sunglasses; two males next to each other conjoined by wires attached to their heads; and many others all mutilated in unsettling ways.

Worse of all was a Prince of Hell proudly standing there in front with great and terrible authority, who was then greeted joyously by Luna, "Happy birthday, sir!"

Mouths fell open throughout the Great Hall, especially when the person with all those pins driven in his skull also looked mildly startled. He then courteously addressed Luna in turn, "I didn't know you found out my previous existence as Elliot Spencer had his birthday today, but thank you very much."

"You're welcome!" Luna chirped. She then pointed at Voldemort and his Death Eaters. "I hope you enjoy your presents!"

Voldemort definitely had more than enough of this entire foolishness. Aiming his wand at the idiot with those pins, the Dark Lord roared, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The death spell's green light flashed from Voldemort's wand, hitting its target full on…with absolutely no effect.

Instead, Pinhead studied an astonished Voldemort for a few measured seconds before musing, "Oh, you'll truly be delicious, all your previous futile attempts to avoid your fate that sent you here for me."

Pinhead next turned to Luna and appreciatively said, "You have my fullest gratitude, child. I'll still make time for our usual Friday tea. Shall we be seeing you then?"

"Certainly, sir," Luna beamed, her fingers closing the Lament Configuration. Just before it fully shut, she called out, "Have fun!"

The bell tolled one last time, causing every one of the Death Eaters and the Cenobites to vanish together and the Great Hall's gloom to also be dispelled back into its previous illumination. The remaining Hogwarts occupants still couldn't forget, no matter how much they wanted, Pinhead's exultant smile before this demon's departure with his newest presents for which he'd have so much indulgence.

Shivering in unison, Harry and his friends looked at each other. Then, they looked at where Luna…had been?

A quick glance around found Luna with her usual radish earrings seated at the Ravenclaw table and spooning up a particularly big bowl of pudding, all while idly humming to herself.

Harry looked at Hermione and Ron again. None of them, now or ever after, wanted to talk about it, even if this clearly fit all the requirements of 'the power he knows not.'

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter characters and Hellraiser characters are the property of their rightful owners. The fanfiction author known as Ruskbyte also owns his creations.

Author's Note: I recently re-read Ruskbyte's 'Evil Be Thou My Good' to just now be inspired if someone else in the Potterverse came across the Lament Configuration. Hope you enjoyed this latest crackfic!