AN: Greetings, and welcome back to The Price of Life, where I have kept up my habit of only posting one chapter of this fanfic per year! All joking aside, I apologize for the slow pace at which I release new chapters, it's definitely something I need to work on. On the bright side, this chapter is the longest one yet(!), and explores daily life in the Training Corps through the eyes of Jean, Rasmus, and Annie. Hopefully you enjoy these (relatively) peaceful times, because the next chapter will cover Rasmus' experiences in the Distress training exercise!
How did I end up in this situation? Jean asked himself, resting his chin on his knuckle as he watched the other cadets' antics with a frown.
He had never been one to enjoy party games. It wasn't like he didn't know how to have fun, but the idea of putting others on the spot to embarrass or degrade them seemed childish to him. He had been ready to say as much when the others asked him to play Truth or Torture until he learned that Mikasa would be playing. If someone with refined taste like her would choose to play a game like this then maybe there was something he was missing.
But then when someone asked Eren about the key around his neck, that idiot had to storm off and take Mikasa with him! Now I'm stuck babysitting these numbskulls. Jean watched in exasperation as Connie chose torture when offered a choice.
"All right," Reiner said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he surveyed the boy's barracks for inspiration. Then his gaze settled on a short boy with a broad build. "Hey Helan, you still got that sandwich?" A reluctant nod from the boy sent Reiner towards a bunk bed where he lifted the pillow and retrieved a sandwich covered in a layer of grey fuzz. Plugging his nose with his free hand, Reiner brought the lump of rotten bread over to the group who all recoiled from the smell.
"That's supposed to be a sandwich?" Mina asked, before breaking into a fit of coughs.
"It's from the last Meat Day," Reiner explained. "Helan managed to nab some of the leftovers and was keeping it under his pillow."
Sasha perked up. "Meat?"
"Huh? But that was like two months ago," Ymir said with a grimace.
Reiner chuckled. "Exactly. So Connie, how about you take a nice big bite of this delicious sandwich?"
"Hey Connie, I don't think you should eat that," Marco warned.
Connie eyed the sandwich suspiciously. "Well it has meat, so it can't be that bad, right?" He took the sandwich from Reiner and sat down cross-legged.
"Idiot," Jean muttered under his breath as he turned away in disgust.
"Here we go," Connie said as he bit into the sandwich.
After a few moments, believing that it had to be over, Jean turned back to the scene. Connie was chewing slowly as a handful of spores drifted through the air.
Suddenly he froze, mumbling "Wait, I don't remember the sandwiches tasting like this." Groaning, Jean turned away again as Connie spat out the sandwich and began coughing. After Christa ushered the green-faced Connie outside, Marco left to dispose of the inedible sandwich with protest from Sasha and the game continued.
"Alright, your turn Annie," Reiner said as he turned to the hoodie-bearing blonde sat beside him.
I can't believe she of all people is still playing this stupid game, Jean thought to himself.
Rolling her eyes, Annie shifted her gaze across the room. "Rasmus. Truth or torture?"
Rasmus seemed to consider this for a moment before the stomach-churning noises of Connie's next bout reached them. "Truth," he said, glancing back at Annie.
"Which regiment would you join if you couldn't join the Garrison?"
"That's not fair! You can't ask him that!" Ada exclaimed.
"I don't see anything wrong with the question," Reiner shrugged, and the rest of the cadets mumbled their agreement.
Turning to her friend, Ada said "it's okay Rasmus, you don't have to answer her."
"Yes, he does," Jean interrupted as he felt his pulse rising, "those are the rules of the game." Who does she think she is, changing the rules whenever it suits her? And why is she throwing a fit over such an innocent question?
Rasmus tapped Ada's shoulder, trying to get her attention. "It's fine Ada, I really don't…—"
"—Nobody asked you, Horseface!" Ada snapped at Jean, seemingly unabashed over her outburst. "Rasmus is joining the Garrison, so there's no point in getting him to pick between the Scouts and MPs!"
"Guys, relax." Reiner urged. "There's no point in getting all worked up about this."
"What did you call me, Shit-for-brains!?" Jean roared, ignoring Reiner's attempts at reason; this girl needed to be put in her place. "And are you sure he wants to join the Garrison? Or do you not want to give him a choice?"
At that moment, Marco entered the room with a dejected-looking Sasha. "Hey guys, what's going on in here? We could hear you all the down the hallway."
Everyone froze for a second, before Ada stood up. She narrowed her eyes at Jean, before stomping off past a bewildered Marco.
"Ada!" Rasmus called, scrambling to his feet to chase after her.
"Not now, Rasmus." His friend's voice stopped him in his tracks.
After poking her head out the doorway after Ada, Sasha turned back to face everyone in the room. "What just happened?"
Rasmus strode through the boys' barracks with purpose, weaving himself through the familiar layout and towards the cadet he was looking for. The constant quarrelling between Ada and Jean had gone on long enough, and it was time for them to resolve their issue with each other whether they wanted to or not. Arguing had never helped anyone, and was more likely to get their entire year in trouble with Sadies. On top of that, for as arrogant and selfish as Jean was, Rasmus had to admit that he was skilled on the ODM gear. Since he had a good chance of making it into the MP, he wasn't someone Ada could afford to make enemies with. Coming to a stop in front of a bunk, Rasmus looked at its occupants expectantly.
"The hell are you doing here?" Jean demanded.
Rasmus frowned at Jean's abrasive tone. "I'm here to speak with Marco." He shifted his gaze to the freckled boy sat in his bunk. "Do you have a minute?"
"Sure," Marco said, clambering off his bunk and Jean grumbled. "Do you want to speak outside?"
Rasmus glanced at Jean. "Yeah, that would probably be best."
Marco sat on a wooden box opposite to the bench Rasmus was sat on. He leaned forward as he listened to Rasmus' idea, offering gentle smiles of encouragement and nodding at the right moments. When Rasmus was finished talking, the freckled boy grinned.
"I was thinking the same thing!"
"You were?" Rasmus asked out of interest, a smile forming on his face after Marco's enthusiastic reception to his plan.
Marco smiled bashfully. "Well I certainly didn't think it through as much as you did, but I wanted to encourage Jean and Ada to make amends. I think it's a great idea to use our connections with them to bring them together. They both mean well, and I'm sure that if they heard each other out then they would get along just fine."
"Really?" Rasmus asked. "I don't want to come across as judgemental, but listening doesn't really seem like Jean's thing."
"Maybe not," Marco conceded, "but he's nicer than he pretends to be."
Rasmus let out an exasperated chuckle. "You keep saying that, but I haven't seen that side of him."
"I think Jean feels like he has something to prove," Marco said.
"Because he wants to make it into the top 10?"
Marco shook his head. "No, that's not it. At least, that's not all of it. I'm not sure why he feels that he has something to prove, but it's the reason he never backs down from a challenge. He doesn't want to be seen as weak, so he pretends to be stronger than he actually is."
"Huh." Rasmus thought back on his encounters with Jean. Is that why he acted so rude? It would certainly explain the behaviour that he had previously thought was overconfidence.
"If you can look past that, then you'll see Jean for who he really is." Marco paused. "Just, don't tell him I told you any of this."
"Right," Rasmus agreed, still reflecting on Marco's words about Jean. What if Jean wasn't the only person who had a reason for acting out? But still, why did Ada get so upset over Annie asking him what his second choice regiment was? They had already both agreed that they would join the Garrison, so all this talk of the Scouts and Military Police shouldn't have bothered her. Rasmus' thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the dinner bell.
"So, we talk to them individually and then meet here after dinner?" Marco asked.
"Yes, let's do that," Rasmus concurred as the pair made their way to the mess hall.
Annie sat at the table with a tray of half-eaten food in front of her. Across from her sat a familiar pair of black pigtails, bouncing up and down as their owner excitedly detailed the blossoming romance of two cadets that Annie didn't know. When the bright and bubbly trainee had first started sitting with her, Annie had figured that it was only a matter of time before the girl moved on. After all, she wasn't a very interesting person. There were plenty of ways to spend mealtime that were better than socializing with an unapproachable girl who barely contributed to the conversation. Despite this, Mina had managed to sit across from her every meal since without fail. Annie had even tried moving seats, but the dark-haired cadet materialized across from her without missing a beat. She eventually gave up on trying to evade her cheerful companion, and instead resigned herself to meals full of gossip and chatter for the rest of her time at the Cadet Corps.
As much as Annie hated to admit it, a part of her had started to look forward to their mealtime discussions. The lighthearted conversations offered her an escape from a life she had no say in. When she was in the mess hall, she wasn't expected to train past the point of exhaustion or fulfill some part in Reiner's latest plan to find The Coordinate. During those precious moments she wasn't a warrior or soldier, she was just Annie. Thanks to Mina's extroverted nature she was able to experience, albeit briefly, what it felt like to be normal.
"…and Ruth said she saw Hannah and Franz sneak behind the equipment storeroom. When Ruth asked her about it, Hannah said that Franz was helping her search for her lost hair tie, but Ruth says she was wearing it the whole time!" Mina rested her cheeks in her hands and stared off into the distance. "I wonder what it's like to fall in love. Everyone makes it seem so incredible. Who knows, maybe I'll meet my future husband in the Garrison. With any luck, after a few years we could apply for reassignment to Karanes. Then we could live near my mom." Deep in thought about her future, Mina began to chew her lip. "If I get married, I'd want to have a traditional wedding with lots of cake and beer. Ooh! You could be my bridesmaid, and I could invite all our friends from the Training Corps! And once my fiancé and I finish saying our vows, they'd release a pair of doves into the air! What do you think Annie? Have you thought about getting married and having a family someday?"
Annie shook her head. "I don't have time for anything like that."
"Jeez Annie, sometimes you're so hopeless," Mina scoffed. "Relationships aren't something that just happen to fit into your schedule, they take effort. If someone is important to you, you make time for them. And it doesn't have to be a lover, this applies for friends and family too. Sure, having a family in addition to my duties in the Garrison would mean I have to work harder, but it's something that would make me happy. Are you telling me that you don't even have the least bit of interest in settling down someday and living a quiet life with a special someone, and maybe even some kids of your own? It could be a generational home, and your father could move in too."
Annie imagined the scenario for a split-second before quickly pushing the image out of her mind. She knew a life like that was impossible, yet it still left a dull ache in her heart. It wasn't as if Mina could understand though, she didn't know that Annie had less than ten years to live.
"Some of us just aren't meant to live that kind of life," Annie said simply.
Picking up on her somber tone, the usually-exuberant Mina grew quiet. "I'm sorry you feel that way," she said in a gentle voice. Seeking to change the topic, she cleared her throat and shifted the conversation. "So, how's hand-to-hand combat training going?"
Annie eyed her. "If you want performance evaluations, you'd have to ask Sadies."
Mina rolled her eyes. "I mean, how is your hand-to-hand combat training with Rasmus going?"
"Oh. He's made some improvement, but he still wouldn't stand a chance in a real fight."
"Interesting," Mina perked up. "So, what do you think of him? You know, as a person?"
Annie thought for a second. "He's an idiot who thinks he can join the Garrison and protect people from Titans."
"Isn't that what the Garrison's supposed to do?" Mina asked.
"No, all the Garrison really does is make people think they're safe and that the Central Government cares about their wellbeing. They don't actually stand a chance against the Titans if Wall Rose is breached."
Mina lowered gaze to the ground. "You may be right," she began, before glancing up and meeting Annie's gaze with confidence, "but I know there's something you aren't telling me! If Rasmus is as much of an idiot as you claim he is, then you wouldn't be wasting your time helping him train."
Annie shook her head. "No, he's definitely an idiot."
"But…" Mina coaxed.
"But he has commitment," Annie admitted. "I figured he would have given up after our first session, but the next session he asked to meet early so he could get some extra training in."
Thinking about it, she realized that was something he had in common with Eren. Though they had different goals, both were driven by an unbelievable willpower. It was as if they believed that, through sheer determination, they could shape the world around them. Their confidence almost made her want to believe, but she knew better. Whether you swim with or against it, the current always pulls you downstream.
Mina flashed a cheeky grin. "So he's a dedicated idiot then."
"He's a dedicated idiot," Annie agreed.
"Well, I agree with you, at least about the dedication part. Did you hear how he helped Thomas and I train with ODM gear so that we could make the cut?"
Annie shot an inquisitive glance at the pigtailed cadet. "I didn't hear that. I thought we weren't allowed to train in ODM gear without supervision."
"You're right, we aren't. He convinced one of the officers to let us borrow a set. Which Thomas scratched on a tree branch." Mina giggled. "I shouldn't laugh because he and Ada got in trouble with Sadies, but it's funny now looking back on it."
"They got in trouble because Thomas messed up the equipment?" Annie asked.
"Yep," Mina said. "They both tried to take responsibility for it and ended up having to run laps. Sound like something the so-called idiot you're training would do?"
"Definitely." Annie paused. "So, what did they get out of it?"
Mina cocked her head. "What do you mean?"
"They went to a lot of effort to keep you and Thomas in the Cadet Corps. What did they want in return?"
Mina chuckled. "I asked Rasmus that, and do you know what he said? He said he was just doing it to make sure that we stick around."
Annie groaned. "Idiot."
"You know Annie, he's not the only one who helps others without getting anything in return." Mina sent Annie a pointed look.
"What are you trying to say?"
"Remember when you helped me with that classroom assignment?" Mina asked.
"That was different," Annie argued, "it was an easy assignment and they kept us in the classroom for the full hour anyways. I didn't have anything else to do."
"Or," Mina continued, "the fact that you've been helping Rasmus in combat training? I know you'd rather be slacking off instead."
Annie sighed. Why had she started looking forward to mealtime again? So that she could be pestered with questions instead of being allowed to eat in peace?
Mina smirked, apparently taking her silence as a concession of defeat. Annie knew she could prove her dinnermate wrong; after all, Rasmus had promised to help her search for her father. It wasn't as if her father needed finding, but Mina didn't know that. Even so, she eventually decided that it didn't matter what Mina thought, and turned her attention to her tray of now-cold food.
"Well, well, look who it is," Mina murmured, glancing over Annie's shoulder.
Taking care not to be obvious about it, Annie glanced back towards the mess hall entrance. Unsurprisingly, Rasmus was making his way out of the building. However, he seemed unusually alert, glancing left and right before stepping out into the night.
Annie voiced her thoughts aloud. "Why's he acting so suspicious?"
"I bet he's smuggling some food out for Ada. She didn't show up for dinner tonight," Mina replied. "In fact, I haven't seen her since she stormed out of Truth or Torture."
Annie sighed. She still had no idea why the girl had taken such offense at her question. She hadn't even wanted to play the childish game in the first place, but Reiner had dragged her and Bertholdt along since it allegedly furthered their mission by building trust with their fellow cadets.
"How do you know that?" she asked.
"I don't." Mina shrugged. "But that's just the sort of thing that friends do for each other."
Mina was probably right, but a part of Annie still felt uneasy. What if he had found something out? What if he was off to tell the instructor that he had heard them discussing something they shouldn't have? Knowing Rasmus, he would probably give them a chance to explain themselves first if he ever found something out, but she would feel better knowing his destination for certain.
Hastily getting to her feet, she told Mina that she was going to turn in early for the night. With that excuse, she turned away and began to move quickly yet inconspicuously to towards the exit.
"Wait," Mina began, "aren't you going to–…"
Not paying attention to the dark-haired cadet, Annie drew out of earshot before Mina could finish her sentence. As she exited the mess hall, she began making her way towards the girls' barracks as if she were indeed retiring for the night. Shifting her gaze across the training camp, she spotted a lone figure walking up the path that led to the forest that was used for their ODM training. Rasmus wasn't headed to the instructor's cabin then.
Feeling the tension leave her shoulders, Annie was about to continue towards the girls' barracks when she recalled Mina's words. That's just the sort of thing that friends do for each other. Apparently, friends hiked into the forest at night to deliver you cold, stale bread. She supposed it made sense in a way; do a favour for a friend in the present and they'll repay it in the future. By that definition, Bertholdt and his penchant for bringing her gifts was the closest thing she had to a friend, but the two of them barely spoke unless the mission was concerned. On the other hand, she spoke frequently with Mina, but the well-meaning trainee didn't truly understand her. No one understood her, not even her own father.
Shivering in the evening breeze, she pulled her trainee jacket tighter around herself and continued her march to the girls' barracks. In that moment, despite being just a few dozen meters away from hundreds of her peers in the mess hall, Annie Leonhart felt well and truly alone.
Rasmus followed the dirt path as it snaked through the underbrush. At night, the forest gave off a very different impression than during the daytime. Gone were the gentle rays of sunlight that filtered through the canopy, and in their stead were shadows that enveloped large swaths of the forest with their darkness. The shadows seemed to be teasing him; twice he thought he had seen the shape of a Titan, only to draw closer and realize it was only a tree and some nearby bushes.
Arriving in a clearing that was empty apart from a fallen tree at its centre, his attention was drawn to the lone figure seated on the log.
"Hey Ada," he said in a gentle voice, careful not to scare her. She didn't move, so he figured she must not have heard him. "Ada?"
"What was your answer?" Her voice was so flat, so un-Ada-like, that for a second he thought someone else had spoken.
"Ada, what's wrong?" He was starting to get worried. "What answer?"
"Annie asked what regiment you would join if you couldn't join the Garrison."
"Oh, that." Rasmus sighed as he sat beside her on the log. "You already know that I'm joining the Garrison with you, so what does it matter?"
"It matters to me." She turned to look at him and he nearly jumped. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she'd been crying.
"Ada…" Rasmus began, but she quickly turned away from him.
"Just tell me."
Feeling awkward talking to her while she was turned away from him, he instead chose to study the trees on the edge of the clearing. "If I couldn't join the Garrison, then I would join the Scouts."
"… Are you sure you want to join the Garrison?" Ada's voice came out as barely a whisper.
He glanced back at her. "Do you not want me to?"
"No! Well I do, but…" she paused. "I want you to do what you want, not what I want. If I promised to join the Scouts with you, would that change your mind?"
So that's what this was about. "Ada, just so you know, I'm not joining the Garrison because of you."
She turned to him with wide eyes. "You're not?"
Rasmus smiled. "No. I want to protect people. The Scouts are my second choice because they cut down the number of Titans that pose a threat to everyone. But if I have the choice, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than in the Garrison with you."
"Really?" A smile broke out on Ada's face. Realizing this, she flushed red and glanced down with a chuckle. "I guess I've been making a big deal out of nothing then."
Glad to see his friend returning to normal, Rasmus let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. "A bit, yeah. But thanks for asking me what I want, it means a lot."
"Of course, Buster!" Ada gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "What are friends for?"
Rasmus grinned. "I'm glad you're in a good mood, because I have a favour to ask of you."
"Ask away," she invited, her smile growing wider.
"I really think you and Jean should bury the hatchet."
Ada's grin morphed into a frown. "You really had to ruin the moment by bringing Horseface into this?"
Rasmus decided it was best to ignore her use of Jean's unflattering nickname. "I'm serious. Our time as cadets would be more enjoyable if you two weren't always at each other's throats."
Ada shrugged. "It's not my fault he's always acting like a jerk."
"Ada," Rasmus groaned. "You do know that he has a good shot of getting into the MPs, right?"
"He'd fit right in," she quipped.
"What I'm trying to say is that we might have to work with him in the future."
"Fat chance." Ada folded her arms over her chest.
Rasmus sighed. How was he supposed to get through to her? "Please Ada?" he begged, looking her in the eyes. "Can you just trust me on this? All I'm asking is that you try to get along."
She broke eye contact with him and stared off into the forest, her face growing red. He tensed up, expecting an angry retort.
"Fine, I'll try," she said in a small voice.
"Y-you will?" he asked, the surprise in his voice apparent.
"Yeah," she nodded.
Shaking off his surprise, he rose to his feet. "Okay. Let's go then, him and Marco are probably waiting for us."
Ada's eyes widened. "Wait, we're doing this now?"
"Yeah," Rasmus said, confused by how quickly her miraculous willingness to reconcile evaporated. "When did you think we would do it?"
"I don't know, some other day?"
Rasmus shook his head in exasperation. Even though this planned intervention into Ada and Jean's quarrel was his idea, he wasn't feeling very optimistic about its success. "We're doing this today," he said firmly, trying to appear more confident than he felt. With that he began retracing his steps out of the forest, and the shuffle of Ada dragging her feet let him know that she was following him.
The view from the wooden bench Rasmus sat on was serene. The setting sun gave the sky a pink tinge, outlining the snow-covered slopes of the mountains that rose majestically on the horizon. If only the girl and boy beside him could stop snarling at one another long enough to appreciate the beauty of nature.
"The hell are you glaring at me for?" Jean demanded.
"I wouldn't be glaring at you if you weren't making that face," Ada said, narrowing her eyes.
Jean looked baffled. "What face?"
Ada smirked. "That stupid smug horse-face."
"Guys, stop it!" Marco protested, managing to hold Jean back as Rasmus did the same with Ada. "We're not going to get anywhere if you two keep taking shots at each other." He sent Rasmus a pleading look for help.
Just what exactly was he expecting? Managing to sit Ada back down on the bench, Rasmus straightened up and turned to face her. "Ada, please apologize for calling Jean Horseface."
"I didn't, I just said that he has a…" Ada trailed off when Rasmus sent her a pleading look. "Fine," she huffed. "Jean, I'm sorry for saying you have a stupid smug horse-face."
"And?" Rasmus prompted.
Ada crossed her arms. "And for calling you Horseface."
"Good," Marco said, turning to Jean. "Now Jean, apologize for what you said to Ada during Truth or Torture."
"What? But she didn't even apologize for throwing a tantrum!" Jean protested.
"Remember what I said about staying in Sadies' good graces so you can get into the MPs?" Marco's whisper was loud enough that Rasmus caught what he was saying.
"Whatever." Jean rolled his eyes. "Sorry for calling you Shit-for-brains and implying that you were forcing Rasmus to join the Garrison." He turned back to Marco. "Happy?"
Marco shrugged and glanced at Rasmus.
"Well, if Marco and I weren't here, would the two of you start attacking each other?" he asked, glancing between Jean and Ada.
"No."
"Probably not."
Rasmus sighed. "Well, at least that's progress."
"Alright then," Marco said as they all began to get up. "We should head to the barracks, I think it's almost curfew."
As the three boys parted ways with Ada, Rasmus began to reflect on his time in the Training Corps so far. He was glad that he and Ada had joined up, not just because they were getting closer to their goal of joining the Garrison, but also because they'd met so many interesting people.
Rasmus followed Jean into the boy's barracks, thanking Marco for holding the door for him. The barracks, along with the mess hall, had become his new home over the past couple of years. He knew the layout like the back of his hand, a fact demonstrated by the short time it took him to reach his bunk. Despite the blankets and pillowcases being made from the kind of cheap material that made your skin itch, he was fond of this bunk. After all, it was his. Or at least it was his until graduation.
Part of him felt like these days would last forever, but he knew that their graduation would come sooner than they thought, and then everyone would go their separate ways. Of course, most would join the Garrison like him and Ada, but who knew when he would see the likes of Jean and Marco again.
With a yawn, Rasmus put such thoughts aside and climbed up to his bunk, resolving to take each day as it came.