Listen, I'm not famous and never will be so if parts of this are far fetched…..go along with it pleeeease LOL!
And also remember to trust me, it'll be okay!
Fucking finally it's Friday afternoon and I'm knocking on Sansa's door.
The phone calls and messages aren't enough at this point, I miss her so much I can feel it in my chest.
Last I heard, Arya is safely on the plane to their parents and after a long shower and grabbing a bottle of Dom, I am seconds away from getting to start a blissful weekend with my girlfriend.
I can't say the bloody word enough. I have have a girlfriend. A beautiful, young, talented girlfriend who looks at me like I hung the moon just for her every time her eyes land on me. I would by the way.
And yes, I pinch myself almost daily to make sure I'm not fucking dreaming.
Sansa opens her door and we don't move or speak for a beat, we just stare at each other like we've be apart for years not days.
"Sandor." She breathes and then Sansa's arms are around my neck, squeezing me, her entire body melting into my hug.
I carefully maneuver us inside her flat, close the door and as soon as the champagne is on her counter I lift her to wrap her legs around me too.
"Gods little bird, I've fucking missed you." I murmur into her neck, inhaling her scent. It takes the pain in my chest away but it also has me hard immediately.
Sansa sucks in a breath and pulls back to look at me. "I've missed you too." Then she is pressing her lips to mine in a deep kiss, her tongue looking instantly for mine.
I pull back to ask, "your sister is definitely en route to Scotland?" I pant.
Sansa quirks an eyebrow at me. "She landed already, why?"
I groan in relief. "Thank fuck. I can finally have you in your bed."
"Ohh." Sansa laughs at my response and quick retreat to her room. Her giggles stop when I place her on the ground next to her bed and waste no time undressing her.
She's only wearing an oversized shirt and g-string I happily discover. Once the shirt is lost to her bedroom floor, I take a step back and appreciate every inch of her body.
"Godsdamn Sansa, you're perfect." I growl, palming my erection through my sweats trying to calm myself down even slightly.
Sansa whimpers and rubs her thighs together as she reaches for me. One second and I'm back in front her and in another my shirt is off and Sansa is on her knees, taking my pants down with her.
"Little bird." I moan embarrassingly loud when I realize what she's doing. "Fuck oh fuuuck." I pant after her wet tongue licks me from root to tip.
I run my fingers through her hair and look down, my gaze meeting hers as she swallows my girth down her throat.
"I am not going to cum in that pretty, little devilish mouth of yours Sansa." I grunt, tugging gently on her hair, making her moan.
She pulls off of me slowly, my cock shining with her saliva, then she pumps me hard and slow with her hands. "Where are you going to finish then Sandor, hmm?" She asks, trying and failing, to look innocent while licking my pre-cum from her plump lips.
I remove her hands from my dick before I blow all over us both way too fucking soon and pick her up and place her on the edge of her bed. I get rid of my pants completely and then, mimicking Sansa's earlier actions, I kneel before her, as if I'm worshipping her as she deserves.
I speak against one milky white thigh, dragging my tongue along her skin between words. "Oh my little bird, I think you know I plan to fill up this tight pussy. Don't you?" I nip the skin of her inner thigh making Sansa tremble and I barely hear her breathy chant of, "yes yes yes."
After physically stopping myself from ripping her panties off, I remove them quickly and waste no time in planting a firm kiss to her clit. Sansa yelps and sits up on her elbows to watch me eat her out.
I meet her heated gaze just as she did to me and feel her get wetter as she bites her lip around a moan.
It only takes a couple minutes for Sansa to be completely lost in what I'm doing to her. I suck on her clit while pumping two fingers inside of her and know she's almost there. "Come on beautiful, cum all over my face so I can fuck you till you cum again." I say into her wet flesh while rubbing those ridges deep in her body.
"Oh my fucking gods Sandor." Sansa practically weeps, her legs shaking on either side of my head.
"That's it, that's my girl." I murmur against her clit before sucking it back into my mouth, sending Sansa over that edge with a long, moan of my name.
I slowly remove my fingers, sucking them and then licking Sansa clean. I press kisses to her lower belly and hips before standing up, keeping my hands under her knees.
Sansa's breathing finally slows and her eyes meet mine. When she realizes my intentions, Sansa is nodding and grasping my cock in her hand guiding my leaking head to her entrance.
"Watch Sansa, watch how well you take my cock." I demand, waiting for her eyes to leave mine and look down to where I'm about to slowly slide into the hilt of her heat.
I don't know where the fuck these words are coming from. I've never been vocal in bed but as soon as I learned that my voice and words affect Sansa, they won't stop.
"Oh Sandor, Sandor Sandor." Sansa moans as our hips are finally flush. Her face is red, her chest rising and falling rapidly.
"I know baby, I know." I whisper against her lips, not moving just staying deeply nestled inside her pussy, feeling it flutter around me.
We kiss long and slow, all tongues and moans, it's so fucking erotic, even compared to how deeply we're connected with Sansa's legs around my waist now. I feel my cock leaking more pre-cum inside of her and pull almost all the way out of her body before pounding back in.
I know I'll have scratch marks on my back from Sansa dragging her nails down my skin. She feels so bloody good it's killing me to not cum yet, but I have to get her there again first.
My hips keep bouncing Sansa up and down on my shaft with slow but deep, hard thrusts that have stars forming behind my eyelids whenever I can't fight to keep them open to keep watching myself disappear inside her stretched pussy. And I swear I might leave handprints on her thighs from my tight grasp.
Neither of us are making sense any more, we're just grunts and moans, whimpers and at most a groan of the other's name.
I lean down and suckle on Sansa's nipples while still fucking her deeper than ever before and I finally feel that telltale clench of her inner muscles around my length. Thank the gods.
Sansa bites my shoulder to muffle her scream as her pussy contracts around me so tight I can't stop myself any longer and spill inside her, pumping until every drop is deep in her body. "Yes little bird fucking hells yes." I growl to the ceiling when I'm spent.
We're a sweaty mess of limbs, still connected as Sansa runs her hands along every part of me she can reach and I slowly kiss her face, neck and chest. We end up tumbling to her floor, luckily onto her rug, sending us into a fit of laughter while we come down off of our high.
"I suppose every time will be the best." Sansa says to me, her chin on my chest, one arm around my middle, holding me tight, the other dragging through my hair.
My hand on her ass squeezes as I laugh and nod in agreement. "Aye, I think you're right, it keeps getting better even though each time is mind blowing." I trace her lips with the fingertips of my other hand.
Sansa kisses each digit as she looks into my eyes as if she can see my soul. Hells, maybe she can, I'm hers, totally and completely.
We lay there for a while, catching our breath and catching up on our days apart. Once my back starts to protest, earning a chuckle from Sansa we decide to get up. I sit there watching her go to to her bathroom clean up, mesmerized by the sway of her hips, the roundness of her ass and evidence of our fucking trailing down her inner thigh. Seeing my cum fall from her body has me hard already. For fucks sake, what this woman does to me.
I ignore the throbbing between my thighs and instead get dressed and head back to the kitchen, setting the champagne to chill again.
Sansa joins me shortly after, looking as though she was thoroughly fucked but unfortunately she not only tied up her hair, she put on some shorts under her tee.
"More clothes? Little bird you should've went with less." I say as I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her flush against me and nuzzling her neck.
A deep, relaxed sigh leaves her body, her own face buried in my chest now. "You're insatiable." She giggles but takes a step back.
"How could I not be little bird?" I retort.
A shy smile takes over before Sansa leaves my embrace to open her laptop. "I feel the same Sandor but I need to talk to you." Her tone has changed dramatically.
My heart lurches, along with my stomach. "What's wrong?"
Her face falls as she rushes back to cradle mine. "Oh shit, no Sandor every thing is fine. It's nothing bad." She reassures me quickly.
My nerves calm slightly but I still am anxious to know what's going on. "Okay, what is it then?"
Sansa heads back to her laptop, opening something and in those seconds my mind races. She might've said it's nothing bad but maybe she is just tying to soften the blow. She can't be dumping me, not after the sex we just had.
My thoughts go through multiple scenarios until one sticks. Ah fuck. I immediately begin mental math, there's no way Sansa is pregnant, it hasn't been long enough since our first time.
"I can see your brain working through your head, Sandor. I swear its not bad." She reiterates.
A baby isn't bad but it would be a hell of a shock. "Are you preg-"
Sansa's eyes go wide for a second before she laughs. "No Sandor, oh my. I couldn't know if I was pregnant yet anyway." She confirms my earlier thought.
I simply nod, refusing to dwell at all on the fact I felt no relief at Sansa's confirmation of her not being pregnant.
"Right, sorry. Not good with surprises and the "we need to talk line", has been ruined by society." I try to joke.
Sansa smiles and nods for me to stand with her. Once I'm close enough to feel the heat from her body she starts. "I'll just get to it then." She takes a breath. "Ygritte called before you came over…..A friend of hers part owns a gossip site and they called her because they received a tip that we're in a relationship." Sansa looks at me almost nervously, for some reason.
I'm surprised that someone saw us, put it together and then contacted a website but Sansa did grow-up semi in the spotlight and is getting a lot more fame with her new career.
We haven't really been out much and when we have I didn't think we were overly heavy on the PDA but I can't keep my hands to myself whenever I'm near her so that's not too shocking.
No matter how bad my self-esteem is, I know in this moment she isn't nervous about telling the world about us, no, she's looking at me as if she thinks I'll have a problem with it.
"So they're running the story?" I ask, unsure of what else to say.
Sansa blinks a few times before seemingly catching herself. "No, well not yet. Ygritte bought some time with a donation to her friend's charity." She tells me before turning the laptop to face us both. "She also sent us options of what we can do now. I wanted us to figure out what we think is best." Sansa peers up at me, looking younger than she has in all the days I've known her.
She needs me to take the lead here. And fuck I like taking care of her. I know she can do that herself and bloody well at that, but on the odd occasion that I can be the one to do things for her, you bet I fucking will.
I wrap one arm around Sansa's shoulders, tucking her into my side and read Ygritte's email out loud.
"As I mentioned on the phone, here are some suggestions you two can mull over. Hannah said she can give us till Tuesday tops before her site will have to publish the story. Call me anytime doll, I'm here for you both. Xx
- Allow the headline to run, no comments, ignore it;
- Allow the headline to run, re-post/mention it with your own announcement or comments;
- Make a post on your socials denying any dating rumors before the story can run; or
- Make a post on your socials announcing you and Sandor's relationship yourself. They'll likely still run a story but you've taken control and they may reach out to you first."
Well fuck me, show business is something else.
I turn Sansa to face me now we both know our options. "Little bird," I prod holding her hands, waiting for her to meet my eyes. I continue once she does, "what do you want to do? Don't worry about my opinion just yet, we'll get there."
Sansa searches my face for I don't know what exactly before taking a deep breath and studying her feet while she speaks. "I know it's early into us being, well us, and I don't take that lightly but I want everyone to know. And I want the power over my own life and relationship." She's still hesitant when she looks back up at me.
"My choice would be to post about it on social media ourselves."
My shoulders visibly sag in relief. She's right, it's really damn early into our relationship and if she wanted to pick any other option given to us I would've understood. They would've stung in their own ways but I would've gotten over it. But I'm so fucking happy she wants the world to know she's taken, that she's mine and I'm hers.
It's the most exciting and proud moment of my life, dating Sansa Stark.
"I agree." I tell her, holding her face in my hands and kissing her softly, her mouth pulling up in a real smile as I do. "And yes it is early into our relationship but I'm in this Sansa, 110%. It's better for this to be on our terms, not some crappy gossip site's."
Sansa throws her arms around my neck and I can feel her smiling into my neck. "I'm so happy you agree Sandor." She tells me, pulling back to kiss my ruined cheek. And then she's gone.
"Hey, where are you off to?" I call after her.
She's back in record time, her phone in hand. "I hate to be the opposite of romantic but I have to call Ygritte. We need to plan ahead for this." She is about to press call but shoots me an apologetic look first.
"I really am dating a celeb." I respond, raising an eyebrow at her.
Sansa laughs as she puts her phone to her ear. "Hardly!"
She talks to her manager for a few minutes, telling her she explained everything to me and what our decision was. Sansa then puts Ygritte on speaker so she can debrief me as well.
Ygritte and her team suggest we post Monday late morning, it's better for views apparently. Sansa and I roll our eyes at that. We all also agree the pictures and post should be drafted ASAP in case they try to post the story early. Not that I'm famous but they think I should post something too, and for once I agree. It's the first time I want to post on my own social media.
We end the call with Ygritte advising she will be doing a deep dive on me and my socials which she will report back with to avoid surprises. Good thing I'm boring, what some people must have to delete and do damage control over.
Meanwhile, Sansa and I need to choose one or multiple pictures for the announcement, have a few captions for Ygritte to approve and also ensure we tell anyone we haven't already told about our relationship before they find out with the masses.
Once we hang up Sansa asks, "have you told Ray and Mary?"
My face splits into a grin at the memory of last night when I did just that. The old man isn't the best on the phone when traveling, especially long distance. The happy couple just arrived back to the sea side Thursday afternoon from a month long cruise through Norway and Iceland. I want to be them when I grow up.
"My boy, I've missed you. How have you been?" Ray asked me, his voice warm and full of happiness as soon as he answered my call.
"I've missed your voice old man. I've been good though, it's been a busy month." I slowly edged into telling him about Sansa. He's going to be shocked.
"Oh really? I know that business of yours isn't going to slow down any time soon. I hope you're leaving time to rest and have fun too?" Ray worried.
Blessed his sweet, pure heart. The fun he is referring to would be my usual, hikes and weekends out of the office.
I clear my throat, nervous and excited to tell one of the only people I care for about the most important change in my life, so far.
"Well, uh, actually I have been having fun." I began.
Ray is silent for a moment, probably hearing the change in my voice. "That's great son, tell me all about it."
"I met someone." I let the admission hang in the air. When he stayed silent I kept going. "And we decided to start a relationship."
Ray was quiet long enough I checked my phone to make sure the call hadn't dropped.
"Sandor." He finally spoke, his voice wavered with emotion. "My wonderful boy, I'm so happy for you." We both took a couple of minutes to catch ourselves.
"Thank you Ray. I know it seems fast but she is spectacular. You'll adore her." I reassured, seeing as this is my first relationship he will worry about me too.
"I'm sure I will if she made her way into your life. What's her name, I want to hear all about her." He was excited for information but the old man was apprehensive too, digging for details for multiple reasons.
I told him all about my Sansa, from how we met, to our dates and about my little bird herself. I was about to mention her family when Ray piped up.
"Yes Mary, that must be the lass, look at the red hair." I heard him tell his wife.
"Lords, what are you two doing?" I asked, head in my hands.
"Research son, research. I need to ensure you're in good hand with this Sansa. And I can see that you are. Her father is a good man." I could see Ray in his leather chair, nodding along with whatever him and Mary had found.
He used to work with the police heavily for part of his career and his searches are far beyond Google.
"Ray, leave my woman alone." I huffed but laughed too, I know he means well.
"I needed to make sure she was up to par for my boy. Now, when can we meet this beautiful Sansa?" He asks. I'm overdue for a visit anyway.
"I was going to see what weekends work for you and Mary and then see when Sansa is free so we can come down."
"We're staying put for the couple of months. You tell me and we will be here, your room ready and waiting." He told me, his warm voice calmed me more than I realized I needed.
"Good, I can't wait to see you." I quietly said to him.
Mary and Ray tell me about their latest trip what where they're off to next before we hang up after planning to talk again next week.
Sansa is watching me with a huge, excited smile as she waits for my answer. "Aye little bird, I have. He's over the moon and wants to meet you." I hope she wants to visit soon.
Her mouth pops open. "Really?" She seems shocked, her insecurities coming out. "Can we plan to go in the next couple of weeks?"
I wrap her back up in my arms. "Aye, I'd like that very much." I say to her before kissing her forehead. "And what about the many Starks, do they know you're dating a giant?"
Sansa laughs and snacks my chest. "I'm pretty tall too you know. And yes, they all know. My parents told the linger boys and Robb for me, they're difficult to tie down." She looks nervous before continuing. "The reason I said we should go to Brighton soon is because my parents are coming in a month."
My stomach flops with nerves, I've never met someone's family. Especially not a loving and involved one like the Starks. I school my anxiety off my face. "Well, sounds like we will be busy for a while."
My calm response eases the tension from Sansa's shoulders. "Yes we will. And Jon will be next. He is apprehensive after Joffrey."
"That's more than understandable little bird. I'm happy to talk to and meet him whenever." I reassure her, I know her and Jon have a special bond.
Sansa wraps herself around me in a tight hug, taking a deep breath of me. "Thank you Sandor. I'm so excited." The way she gazes into my eyes makes my heart skip in my chest.
We finally let go of one another as we decide to put a frozen pizza on and pop the the champagne so we can begin choosing pictures for our announcement. We stand at her counter, flutes in hand and the oven already warming her kitchen as we look at her laptop.
"So," Sansa starts, looking at me shyly, "I have a folder of pictures of us or from our dates."
I know my surprise shows only my face. "Well, let's see then." Excitement bubbling in my belly.
She opens her organized folders and there it is "SanSan"
I laugh out loud at the title. "SanSan, huh?"
"Hey both of our nicknames are San. Plus, I think it's cute." Sansa says, nose in the air.
"As do I little bird." I say against her ear, erasing her mock irritation.
We spend several long minutes looking at every picture, commenting on some, laughing at others. Sansa even has candid shots of me from the farmer's market and our hike.
A blissfully normal, happy moment. But my demons can ruin the best of times in a heartbeat.
"So I think I want to post just one picture, we're sharing enough." Sansa says while opening three of the pictures from her album. "These are my top picks."
I turn and look at the screen and immediately it's as if I'm underwater. I hear Sansa still speaking, I know she's right next to me but everything is muffled and blurry, besides her godsdamn laptop.
The three pictures she has up are all from our hike, all frame worthy shots, all with one thing in common.
My scars are hidden.
In the photos, we're looking at one another smiling my left side to the camera, the next my head is thrown back laughing as Sansa gazes at me and the last I'm kissing her left cheek, my own remaining hidden, again.
I can't believe Sansa wants to hide my scars. It may only be social media but it's a huge announcement, it'll change our lives. And that mean old dog that burrows himself in the back of my mind all the bloody time tells me Sansa is like everyone else, how stupid could I be.
My rational thoughts, any calm I had within me today has disappeared, been crushed to nothing. I fall back into the swirling panic and pain that uses to consume me and I can't find my way out.
My hands are balled into fists so tight they hurt, my palms are sweating, stomach turning that familiar feeling of dread sinking in my chest. I know I've been standing still too long, I can tell through my unhinged thoughts that the room has fallen silent.
Sansa gently touches my arm and jerk back to the moment, slightly. Enough that I see her worried, glassy eyes studying me and watch as her hand falls back to her side.
"What happened Sandor, please talk to me." She pleads quietly.
I take several steps away from her, each one feels like punch to my gut but I can't stop myself it's as if I'm being controlled by someone else .
"I-", my voice cracks, " I should've known better." I whisper, but my voice is full of venom, I hardly recognize.
Sansa flinches and watches me I have enough sanity left to shove my phone and keys in my pockets, hands shaking.
"Everyone is the same, I don't know why I hoped you were different." I regret the harsh, bullshit words the instant they leave my mouth but I've lost all control.
Sansa has tears streaming down her face but otherwise is frozen in place. I rip her door open before slamming it shut behind me, leaving her and losing the best fucking thing I've ever had.