X'ed Off Heaven's List
Author's Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of MAZICA PARTY.
Pairing: Kezuru x Cratch.
Summary:
Heaven is missing an angel.
Chapter 2
Perhaps God didn't want Kezuru back, but the Devil (uppercase D) was definitely intrigued by the new addition to Hell. Every day, torrents of fresh souls to torment dropped in from above. Rotten fruit off God's precious forbidden tree, destined to rot down here for eternity.
But they were human souls. It'd been thousands of years since the last angelic defection, according to flawed guestimates of the Bible. Not since the First Rebellion, when the Devil was still the Light-Bringer and led the fallen angels against God, had one of the soldiers of Heaven turned his, her, or their back on the Creator (assuming the Devil was reading the incorrect dates on his tablet correctly).
No fooling: The Devil kept his schedule on a regular mainstream tablet from Earth. Ancient doomsday calendars and abacuses of bone in his infernal stockpile – millions of certified, fully licensed tax demons clacking away on typewriters he could outsource the assignments to – yet the Devil chose to arrange his agenda and run the occasional math equation by an overpriced piece of human tech!
The CEO of the company that manufactured such tablets is a full-time resident of Hell, in case you were wondering. And of all the stupid reasons to be denied entry into Heaven, Jeff Johns was pettily sealed out – personally, one might add – for plagiarism.
Don't go taking credit for God's works.
Satan desired to know who this new apparent fallen angel was. He was grinning through his teeth and throwing a dark party in his head at the prospect of corrupting this angel and rubbing it in God's face.
Thus, after an early start sentencing wailing victims to unspeakable horrors with a casual flick of his capacitive stylus, the Devil set off to meet the angel God abandoned.
To his amazement, the angel was not fallen in the traditional sense of retaining an undying hatred towards God. He was not even fallen in the fallen sense. The angel had descended from Heaven due to boredom and curiosity, and as evinced by the blue-haired devil whose arm his was tucked under, he was now staying for the parties and love.
"I haven't exactly been inco…incog…incog-whatsit," Kezuru complained to Cratch.
"Incognito?"
"Yes! That!"
"How did you get by up there? When God made you, He must have left the oven on too long!"
"She."
"Excuse me?"
"Common mistake. God's a She."
"Seriously?" Cratch squeaked. "Is She hot?"
"Erm…" Kezuru had been cut off, but was wary how much blasphemy he could get away with nonetheless.
"Hm-hm-hm~! Trick question! No one – not even God – looks as good as me!"
Kezuru was about to reinforce the validity of Cratch's outlandish claim with a flurry of flying kisses around the lake of fire, when Cratch whipped out a stick of breath spray and gave his own mouth a spritz.
"Think I have a shot?"
"With God? No way! Anya's way too uptight!"
"Anya? Is that God's real name?"
"Shh! If She hears you, She'll make your head explode! Using God's real name is as bad as you joking you'll make a pass at Her!"
"Who's joking?" Cratch joked. "You said Her name a second ago!"
"I'm an angel! The rule doesn't apply to us!"
"Well, I'm a devil, Kezuru! Breaking rules is kind of my jam!"
"Don't you mean 'bread and butter'?"
"Bread? Who am I? Jesus? Jam's more delish! Wanna taste? I had a sinberry tart!"
"Seriously? I'm there!"
"Hate to interrupt." A purple pile of fuzz came between the angel and devil.
"Who's this?"
"Kezuru, that's Satan!" Cratch whisper-hissed.
"SATAN?"
"Satan. The Dragon. But feel free to call me Ryuma. Everybody down here has free will because of me, after all. You're welcome."
Kezuru laughed so hard he snorted.
"WHAT?" Ryuma demanded.
"Why is the Devil so SHORT? D-do you need us to find your mom, little boy?"
"LOL!" Cratch couldn't hold in the vicious giggles.
"I'm the Lord of Darkness!"
"I feel you should be callin' me Senpai, O Lord of Darkness!"
"That tears it!" Ryuma summoned his magic to set Kezuru ablaze.
"SE-SE-SE-SERIOUSLY?"
Cratch piped down as Kezuru fell to the ground. As Ryuma rage-walked through, hurling his anger at other gawkers who were asking for it.
Kezuru exhaled a puff of smoke. "Seriously…"
"I'll give you mouth-to-mouth, Kezuru."
Kezuru was –! No, he wasn't in Heaven. He was in Hell, but…
That intersection between dark and light! The hay fever of rainbow light bathing them and their mismatched wings!
Threadbare ribbons and stalwart sash.
Green apple lip balm.
Brugmansia. Angel's trumpets.