Varian's hands were shaking and his breathing was harsh. Despite this, he actually felt better than he had in months. The cold chill down his spine had stopped. He still felt guilty about everything he'd done, but it didn't feel like it was weighing him down. The loudest of his guilt was gone, and though it was hard to believe, Varian now knew that it had been Andrew's voice whispering in his ear.
Varian sat on the front steps of his home and just let himself breathe. He held Ruddiger close, petting the raccoon. His closest friend chittered contentedly and stretched out on Varian's legs. His claws scratched uncomfortably at Varian's skin, but he couldn't bring himself to complain. He was just glad that Ruddiger wasn't avoiding him anymore.
"Hey, kid." Uncle Hector walked towards him.
"Hey." Varian said. He didn't know what to think of his uncle. He seemed really nice, but he'd been really upset up in Quirin's room. And apparently he could see ghosts, as well as banish them. There was a lot about him that Varian didn't understand, but he was glad to have the chance to learn.
Varian patted the stairs next to him. "There's room for one more, if you want."
Hector smiled and took a step towards him. Ruddiger stiffened and his fur bristled. Varian's chest tightened at the thought of his friend leaving him again. Hector paused in his steps. There was a sad look in his eyes, but he still smiled.
"Nah, I think you need your little friend more than you need me right now." Hector said. "Animals don't really like me very much right now."
There were growls and whines of disagreement. Varian turned to see the two bearcats a fair distance away. They gave Hector a sad look, but they still kept their distance. Hector closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Alright, they like me fine." Hector said. "They just don't feel very comfortable."
"Why not?" Varian asked. "My dad told me that you were great with animals. What changed?"
"It's a long story." Hector said. "I'm not sure if I'm up for talking about it."
"Not even with your siblings?" Varian asked.
"Especially not with them." Hector said. "Don't worry about me, though. I'm dealing with it."
"From what I saw upstairs, it doesn't look like you're dealing with it." Varian said.
Hector scowled and wrapped his arms around himself. "I had a moment of weakness upstairs, but I'm fine." Varian didn't know how much he believed him, but he knew how hard it was to talk about things when someone wasn't ready. He still had a hard time talking to his dad about what had happened. He knew he should, and he tried, but it was slow progress.
"Forget about me. I wanna know more about you. How'd you end up with a ghost on your back?" Hector asked.
Varian took a deep breath. "He was my cellmate." He could already see the question on Hector's tongue. "It's a long story, and I don't really feel like talking about what got me there. Dad knows the whole story. He can tell you later." Right now his dad was just inside, talking to Adira. They were catching up and talking about Hector. Varian didn't really like that they were talking about him without him, but Hector seemed indifferent about it, so he guessed that it was fine.
"Anyway, Andrew kinda gained my trust while we were stuck together." Varian said quietly. "I thought I could count on him, and when his friends broke him out of the dungeons, he invited me to go with them. I didn't think I would ever have another chance of getting out, and I was scared of being alone, so I accepted their offer."
Varian shook his head. "Andrew started asking me to help him out with some small things. I thought I owed him, so I went along with it and didn't think twice about it. But then those small requests got bigger, and if I hesitated he would kinda get passive aggressive about it, and make me feel bad, and I didn't even realize he was doing it. Before I knew it, we had kinda erased the memories of the king and queen, and taken over the kingdom. By the time I realized that I was in over my head, I didn't even know how to get out. If it weren't for Dad, I don't know where I would be."
"So Andrew's manipulated you from the start." Hector scowled. "What a creep."
"I'm just glad he's gone." Varian said. "I didn't realize how much he was still weighing on me."
"It wasn't necessarily all his fault." Hector said slowly. "Don't get me wrong, he's definitely a jerk, but being a spirit messes with your head. You're kinda stripped down to your bare instincts. It can be overcome, but it's hard."
Hector looked up at the sky. It was raining, but Varian wouldn't really call it a storm anymore. "Being a spirit can be draining. It takes an odd amount of energy. Spirits can draw that energy from their own souls, which can be painful and exhausting, or they can draw energy from the souls of others, which is what I think Andrew was doing with you. It's the easy way out, but also really dangerous. If he went on like that for too long, he would have eventually lost himself."
"What does that mean?" Varian asked.
Hector took a deep breath. It didn't seem like he wanted to talk about this. At the same time, the more he said, the more it seemed like there was a weight lifted off his shoulders. Varian could relate to the feeling.
"He would have gone from being an echo of himself to being a vengeful spirit. A being of darkness, and anger, and violence. His sense of self would be gone completely. He wouldn't really be Andrew. He'd just be a monster, and it would be practically impossible to convince the spirit to move on and find peace."
"How do you know all this stuff?" Varian asked. He knew it wasn't just a Dark Kingdom thing, because his dad and Aunt Adira had been just as confused about this whole thing as Varian was.
Hector smirked. "I've been living on my own in the Great Tree. There's not a lot to do there, so I've spent a lot of time looking over the ancient scrolls there. There's all kinds of weird myths and legends there. One thing I found was some information about our old traditions, from generations ago."
Hector sat on the ground. "Our kingdom has always been connected to the moon and death. Before the kingdom was formed around the moonstone, people were drawn to the opal. Of course, they all died, and many of them remained as wandering souls. When the Dark Kingdom was first founded, one of the first jobs that the Brotherhood had was to find those lost souls and send them on their way. It's become a lost art."
"And you learned it just because you had nothing else to do?" Varian asked. It sounded like something he might have done himself, but from what he'd heard about Hector, he wasn't exactly studious. He was more likely to explore and train in his spare time than sit down and translate ancient scrolls.
Hector hummed slightly, looking a little conflicted. Finally he sighed. "Okay, the thing is, I really did look at the scrolls just because I was bored, but when I found the scroll about spirits, I studied it almost religiously because…because…" Hector's eyes flashed. He groaned and tugged on his hair. "I thought it could solve my problem."
Varian frowned. "What problem?"
Hector shook his head. "It doesn't matter. The scrolls couldn't help me. I had to try something new. That's why I came here. I need to talk to King Edmund. He said he was coming here to connect with his son or something."
"King Edmund's here?" Varian asked. Hector's eyes flashed.
"I sure hope so." Hector said. "I don't know what I'd do if he isn't. I don't have a lot of time."
Varian shivered. Something was wrong. He felt like something was staring him in the face, but he was standing too close to see the whole picture. He needed to take a step back and put the pieces together.
"Why not?" Varian asked. "What's wrong?"
Hector was quiet as he internally debated. Varian just waited. He knew something was going on with Hector, something that his dad, and possibly also Adira, didn't know. Hector didn't feel comfortable talking to them, which wasn't surprising. Varian had a hard time opening up to his dad, and he couldn't bring himself to trust his old friends when they had left him alone for a few months.
From what Varian had heard, Hector had been alone for far longer than that. His dad said that Hector had some abandonment issues when they were younger. His dad hadn't mentioned any concerns he had about Hector having those same issues now, but in Varian's experience, that kind of thing didn't just go away. It got worse.
If Hector felt like he had been abandoned by his family, he would cling to them after reuniting, but also be cautious about really opening up to them. He would be too afraid of doing something to scare them off again.
Hector was keeping everything in, and it was tearing him apart. He needed to open up, and he knew it. And Varian thought that he might open up to him. He hadn't left him behind before, but he was still part of his family.
Varian picked Ruddiger up and set him on the steps. He stood up and approached his uncle. "Please, Hector, I think you need to talk about this. It might help. And maybe there's something I can do." He reached out and touched his uncle's arm, only to gasp at the sensation that ran through his fingers.
Varian had taken off his gloves so he could pet Ruddiger and really appreciate the feeling of his fur, so now there was no barrier to dim the feeling, and what a weird feeling. The moment Varian made contact with Hector's arm he felt a spark of electricity. It wasn't strong enough to hurt, but it was certainly shocking.
As Varian got used to the spark, his hand started to feel a familiar chill that seemed to seep through his skin and into his very blood. Varian shuddered, recognizing the feeling. He wouldn't have thought twice about it before, or if he felt this later, but his mind was on Andrew and everything that had happened to him.
The pieces were starting to slip into place. Varian didn't like the picture they were making, but he was a scientist. He didn't dismiss unpleasant thoughts just because they hurt to think about.
Varian slowly let go of his Uncle's arm. The chill immediately left. Hector was stiff and refused to look at him. Varian slowly stepped away from him, going back to Ruddiger's side. He picked up the raccoon. He just needed to test one more thing.
"Kid, don't." Hector said stiffly. "I know what you're thinking, but you don't want to do this."
Varian gave his uncle an apologetic look. He stepped closer. Hector flinched, looking like he was thinking of retreating from him, but he stayed still. Hector was scared, but he knew as well as Varian did that keeping this secret wasn't good for him.
"I'm sorry." Varian said. "It's going to be okay." He took another step forward, and when Hector didn't step back, he took another step. Soon he was standing just in front of his uncle. Ruddiger was still in his arms, but he was tense and breathing harshly. Ruddiger was just as anxious as he had been when he had avoided Varian.
Or, more accurately, when he had avoided Andrew.
Varian slowly held Ruddiger out. The raccoon squealed and panicked, squirming out of Varian's hands before he could make contact with Hector. Ruddiger fell to the ground and scampered away. Hector sighed, sounding pained. Varian looked at him.
"Why was Ruddiger so scared to come near me when Andrew was here?" Varian asked.
"I think you know, kid." Hector said. He sounded tired.
"Tell me anyway." Varian said. Hector finally looked him in the eyes. His eyes were pale yellow and almost seemed to be glowing. Varian had only recently accepted that the supernatural could be real. Looking in his uncle's eyes, it was a lot easier to accept, because he knew that it was staring him right in the face.
"Most animals can sense the presence of spirits." Hector said quietly. "They know that it's something that doesn't belong on this plane. Something unnatural."
Varian bit his lip. He reached out and touched his uncle's arm again. The chill was still there, but now that he expected it, and he knew why it was there, it didn't bother him as much anymore.
"You're not a thing." Varian said. "You're still you." He hadn't known Hector before, but his dad had, and Varian knew that his dad would have said something if Hector was acting so unlike himself. Hector wasn't quite like Andrew.
"But that won't last." Hector said. He lowered his voice, like he was afraid of being overheard, even though nobody else was around. "Kid, I can feel it. The darkness. It's just getting stronger, and the rate that it's getting worse is just getting faster. Being with Adira makes everything so much better, and so much worse."
Varian shuddered, and it had nothing to do with the chill. "You feel like you're losing yourself? How can we stop it?"
"Spirits weren't made to remain here." Hector said. "They're supposed to move on. I can't release myself the way I released Andrew. I know. I've tried. But I think I'm bound to this realm because of my oath to the Moon. The Brotherhood swore to serve her with all our souls. Even now, that oath is in place. That's why I need to talk to Edmund. I need to be released from my duty to the Brotherhood, and then maybe my soul will be released too."
"And then what?" Varian asked. Hector gave him a small, sad smile.
"I move on." Hector said. Varian wanted to ask what he would be moving on to, but he was scared to know the answer. For all he knew, even Hector didn't know what he was moving on to. It could be bliss. It could be torture. It could be absolutely nothing, and he'd just completely cease to exist. Varian felt panic build up in him at just the passing thought.
He pushed it away, and he kept his question to himself. Maybe for Hector it wasn't so much what he was moving towards, it was what he was leaving behind. An uncertain future was better than the certainty of what was waiting for him if he did nothing.
"Whatever you need, I'll do what I can." Varian said. He didn't know his uncle well, but he knew how terrifying it was, to have the possibility to lose oneself. "Maybe Dad knows where your king is." He pulled away from Hector and immediately started to turn towards the house. Hector grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop. Varian winced at the unexpected chill and shock.
"Sorry." Hector muttered. "But kid, Varian, you can't tell your dad. He can't know. Adira definitely can't know. Please, please, don't say anything."
Varian frowned. "But…don't you think they deserve to know?" Varian didn't have siblings, but if he did, he would like to know if they were spirits.
"Of course they deserve it." Hector said. "But I can't tell them yet. I just can't. Adira's been with me for so long. She's been helping me, and keeping me sane, and she keeps implying that when I'm free from my duty then we will still be together. She wants to see the world with me. To show me what I'm missing out on. How can I tell her that I can't? That this whole time she's been with me, she's been helping me find a way to go somewhere she can't follow."
Varian's chest tightened and his eyes grew wet. He didn't like this. He didn't like it at all. "You want me to lie to them?"
"Just don't tell them the whole truth yet." Hector said. "Just for a few days. I just…I just need a little more time. Please."
Varian fidgeted slightly. He didn't like making promises, or the thought of lying to family, but how could he say no? Hector's situation was far from normal, and Varian was barely more than an outsider. What right did he have to force his uncle to open up before he was ready?
"...I won't tell him." Varian said quietly. The relief in Hector's eyes was clear. He let go of Varian's arm. The boy took a deep breath and went back inside, with Ruddiger at his heels. He didn't like the thought of keeping secrets from his dad, but he couldn't betray Hector's trust. Not when he knew how much that hurt, and right now Hector needed all the help he could get.
That was why he was going to talk to his dad. They needed to find Edmund, finally talk as a whole family, and then hopefully put this thing to rest before it became too much for any of them to handle.