Mikey looked down at his hands, then to Leo. His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes, that all too familiar combination of guilt and frustration burning like fire in his gut. What was the point of having an untapped well of mystic power if he couldn't even use it to help his brother? But his words were all he had right now, and that would have to be enough.
"Leo… it's so weird seein' you like this again. I mean, ya say we're heroes, and heroes fight bad guys, so…" He bit his lip and swallowed hard. "Guess I just… don't wanna see the bad side of that."
He gazed at his brother for a moment, then a slight smile came to his face.
"Y' know, I remember when we were little, you were th' one who started talking about bein' heroes. We'd already seen a bunch a' of Lou Jitsu movies, but it was when we saw th' first Jupiter Jim movie."
Mikey squirmed in Raph's lap, giggling as he clutched his big brother's sleeve in his small hands. His other brothers were equally engrossed; even Donnie had dropped his usual air of detached boredom and was watching the screen with wide, bright eyes and an awed expression. Normally when they had to wait for their father to get back from a supply run, they would be climbing the walls by now… even Raph, who already prided himself on being the responsible one and made it his job to keep an eye on his younger brothers.
But not long after Splinter left, with his usual several emphasized warnings for them to stay put, Leo and Donnie had been engaged in one of their battles for the remote control when something came on that the little turtles hadn't seen before: a movie about some hero named Jupiter Jim. Their interest was immediately piqued, and nearly the whole film passed without a word from any of them save the occasional awed 'ooh'.
"Tha' was so cool!" Mikey exclaimed, then looked up at Raph as he tugged his sleeve. "Raphie, did ya see? Did ya see how cool that was?"
Donnie finally pried his eyes away from the TV and cocked his head, a look of confusion and slight irritation on his face.
"He was watching too, why wouldn't he see it?"
Raph just grinned, giving Mikey's head a few pats.
"Yep, I saw, lil' man! It was cool!"
"It was awesome!"
At those words, the others looked toward Leo, who had leaped to his feet with gleaming eyes and a wide, toothy smile.
"Jupiter Jim's th' coolest guy 'sides Lou Jitsu!" he exclaimed. "I wanna be that cool too!"
Donnie rolled his eyes.
"You already say you're cool."
Leo looked at him, his eager expression never fading.
"Yeah, but I wanna be cool as Jupiter Jim!"
Mikey bounced a little, his smile widening.
"You'd be cool s' anyone!" he gushed, and heard Donnie let out a sigh as Raph gave a dry chuckle.
"Don't encourage 'im, Mikey," he said, then rubbed Mikey's head, prompting the smaller turtle to push into it as he chirped with contentment.
"Well, you c'n be cool too, Mikey!"
That made Mikey perk up, meeting Leo's beaming smile with wide, eager eyes.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" the slider exclaimed, then puffed out his chest and placed his fists on his hips. "We c'n all be cool! I bet we c'n be heroes too!"
Donnie spoke up then with a strange look and tone of hopefulness.
"Even me?"
Even more surprising, Leo didn't give him a teasing reply.
"Sure! Ev'ry hero group's got a super smart genius makin' them cool stuff!"
Donnie gazed at him, then a wide, gap-toothed smile came to his face. Leo then looked at Raph.
"N' you'll be the super strong guy who leads!"
Mikey looked up and saw a similar bright smile on his oldest brother's face. Giggling, the youngest tot hugged Raph's arm and beamed at all his brothers in turn, ending with Leo.
"So we'll all be heroes?" he asked eagerly. "Really?"
Leo grinned, reaching out to rub Mikey's head just as Raph had.
"You bet, little bud. N' you'll be th' biggest one of all!"
Still beaming, Mikey closed his eyes and leaned into his brother's touch with more happy, contented chirps. He knew Leo was right… when he was serious about something, he was always right.
Mikey swallowed hard, wiping his stinging eyes. His voice quivered as he went on.
"I always wondered why you said I'd be the biggest hero. But after we pulled you outta the prison dimension, when we told ya how we did it, I noticed you were looking at me with this… look. Like you were really proud, but… also like you weren't surprised. Like you knew I could."
He hesitated, his eyes widening as his own words rang in his mind. They began filling with tears, a tremulous smile coming to his face. He reached out and took Leo's hand in the lightest, gentlest grip he could; he couldn't suppress a fear that holding it too tightly might shatter his already broken brother completely.
"'Cause you did know, didn't you, Leo?" he murmured. "Long as I can remember, whatever I did, you believed in me. You never lost faith in me, even when I wanted t' give up. An' that's all I could think after the portal closed. That's why I…"
His voice broke, and he closed his eyes. He couldn't cry, he wouldn't cry… not while his brother was still alive. If he was alive, there was hope.
A ninja's greatest weapon.
Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and smiled again.
"I just want ya to know, I'm gonna be here for you now too. I won't give up on you, ever. Like you never gave up on me."
He felt the familiar warmth of a large hand on his shoulder, but even though he appreciated the comfort, he didn't want it yet. Because he wouldn't give in to despair until Leo was gone for good. And he knew well that each one of his family would fight to the bitter end, just like he would. Like Raph said, as long as there were Hamato, there was a chance.