"If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing, perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves and of threatening ourselves with death."
"Keeping Quiet"
Pablo Neruda
Their staredown shifts the energy of the grotto. Sesshomaru leans into Kikyo until they take the same breath. The scent of death that had smothered her, now something sweet.
"Tell me where he is," he whispers.
Kikyo turns her back on him. Would it really be so bad to send Naraku to hell rather than purify him? She has never questioned her decision to save a soul in need, but her heart begins to waver as the pain of her death wounds returns. Sesshomaru braces himself against the mouth of the pool, bringing his lips to her ear.
"Tell me where he is and I will slay him. You needn't concern yourself with him any longer."
Naraku's power grows each day in every manner of strangeness. Even with the assistance of the nearly-completed shikon jewel, she doesn't doubt that she or Sesshomaru could bring about his end, but a feeling in her soul tells her it is not yet the time. Everything has an appointed time. As much as she has grappled with her death, thinking it premature, it happened at the appointed time.
"Even if I refused to help you locate Naraku, eventually you would on your own, but I ask that you do not engage him unless you absolutely must."
Sesshomaru huffs, trying not to relive his mistake of trusting Naraku in the first place. He leaves her side to exit the grotto.
"Handle it as you see fit, but I will not hesitate to kill him if he makes another attempt against me or my endeavors. And I won't wait forever."
"Very well," she says, but when she turns around, he's already gone.
Sesshomaru comes up on his estate in the Western Lands; the renovations to his father's legacy well underway. Even from the sky, he hears Jaken barking orders.
"Tear down the fountain? Are you mad?" he gripes at the groundskeeper. "This is Lord Sesshomaru's manor, not some lowly hut! Cast a spell on it if you must, but make sure it works!"
"Jaken." Sesshomaru says, coming behind him.
The groundskeeper flees the scene and Jaken wonders if he'll ever tire of the taste of his foot in his mouth. Slowly, he faces Sesshomaru, prepared for his reckoning.
"Things seem to be coming along. You've returned to work rather quickly." Sesshomaru glances at the fountain. He couldn't care less if it operates again or if it's grinded to dust, but he decides to leave it to Jaken. "I trust you were able to evade Inuyasha."
Before Jaken can puff out his chest and soak up any recognition, he sees Inuyasha running towards them like a bat out of hell.
"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha draws Tessaiga.
Sesshomaru sighs, shaking his head at Jaken who promises to punish himself and save him the trouble.
"Welcome, Inuyasha. You probably don't know of this place as you weren't born here, but–"
"What in the hell did you do with Kikyo?" Inuyasha aims Tessaiga at Sesshomaru's throat, eyes ablaze with poorly drawn conclusions.
Stepping away, Sesshomaru heads towards the manor. Inuyasha continues hurling threats at his back, but he follows him. Once inside, Inuyasha sheathes Tessaiga, stunned by the familiar demonic aura that lingers.
"It's him. Our father."
"Indeed." Sesshomaru inspects the failing roof that looks as if something took a bite out of it. "Before the renovations began, I was able to excavate many items left behind by him and our ancestors."
Inuyasha tingles. Tessaiga is the only thing he has that makes him feel connected to Toga. It's difficult to understand Sesshomaru's fixation with it when he's sitting on a goldmine of artifacts and more power than he knows what to do with.
"Like what?" Inuyasha asks, hoping Sesshomaru hasn't strung him along just to deny him.
Sesshomaru opens a chest and retrieves a leather journal. He tosses it to Inuyasha, catching him off guard.
"Father's. Your mother is mentioned in some of the entries."
The journal feels like all of the world's riches in his hands. He fingers the leather, itching to open it but his wonder is curtailed by the present moment. Sesshomaru isn't fighting, isn't trying to make him feel unworthy of Tessaiga. And then he remembers Kikyo.
"I asked you a question, Sesshomaru. What have you done with Kikyo?"
Sesshomaru looks at him like he has a gaping hole in his head, wondering if there's anything even inside it.
"Why seek me out instead of her? If you'd thought to do that, you'd find her well and alive enough."
Inuyasha's entire body relaxes. It was a miracle enough to see Kikyo revived and another to know she survived the fall from the cliff. The feel of her slipping away from him knowing she died believing he'd killed her has haunted his dreams every night since.
"Well, what business do you two have with each other?" Inuyasha remembers Urasue saying that Kikyo's hatred of him is the only thing keeping her alive. "Kikyo isn't herself and the last thing she needs is to get wrapped up in whatever plot you've got going."
"How lucky she is to have you deciding what is best for her."
Perhaps Kikyo isn't the version of herself Inuyasha finds most palatable, but Sesshomaru has always believed in letting people be who they are. He also doesn't consider Kikyo some lost soul incapable of making her own decisions.
"If that was all you needed, do be on your way, Inuyasha. As you can see, I'm busy."
Inuyasha leaves, begrudgingly but eventually Sesshomaru no longer senses him nearby. Jaken returns with a lump on his head.
"Lord Sesshomaru, might I ask what your business with the priestess is? I thought we had parted ways with her at last."
"No," Sesshomaru says, ascending the stairwell. "And eavesdropping doesn't become you, Jaken."
Kikyo rushes back to the village to apologize to Kaede. Each time she consumes the souls of dead women, she absorbs their regret, their fear of dying without having said how they really felt.
In the distance, she sees smoke emanating from the chimney of their home and imagines the happiness on Kaede's face when she agrees to eat whatever she's cooked.
But when she opens the door, Kaede isn't there. Kagome, a fox demon, and a monk are there. They stop talking, stumbling all over each other at the sight of Kikyo. The fox and the monk create a reason to leave and rush past her. She hardly has time to watch them retreat before Kagome bombards her, speaking in one long breath.
"Inuyasha went after Sesshomaru! We thought he'd done something horrible to you. He's really dangerous, you know!"
Kikyo smiles, heading over to the boiling pot and pouring herself a cup of stew.
"Where is Kaede?" she asks.
Kagome fidgets, pain pricking her legs from the way she sits. She watches Kikyo eat a spoonful of stew, surprised by the satisfied look on her face.
"She went out and just told us to wait," Kagome finally says.
Kikyo nods, continuing to eat the stew, remembering the day she taught a six-year-old Kaede how to make it. Kagome watches her blatantly, struggling with what to say but clearly having much on her mind.
"Do you love Inuyasha, Kagome?"
Kagome strangles the hem of her skirt, biting her lip. She doesn't know the words to use to describe how she feels about Inuyasha. She only knows her heart deflated when he took off after Sesshomaru.
"I care about him a lot." Kagome admits it with her eyes closed. "I don't want you or Sesshomaru to hurt him anymore."
Kikyo swirls the spoon around her empty bowl. Examining Kagome, she tries to find the parts of herself inside of her. The innocence radiates. The innocence that wasn't allowed to flourish because of her responsibilities.
Bowing her head, Kagome continues to stretch out her skirt. Kikyo places her bowl on the table and goes for the door. The apology to Kaede will have to wait.
"Kagome," she says, opening the door. "Take care of yourself and Inuyasha and forgive me for what I've done."
Kagome looks up. When Kikyo looks back at her, the same brown eyes meet each other and Kagome tells herself that this is what letting go looks like, so she lets go too. She lets Kikyo go. She lets this strange rivalry between them go and embraces the parts that are one in the same.
Kikyo wanders the countryside searching for a new village to call home. She already longs for Kaede but her heart cannot heal in the place where it was broken. After nearly succumbing to the seduction of demise yet again, she resolved to discard her bitterness. The jewel is no better in her hands than Naraku's if she remains frozen in time.
She walks until she hears the sound of a carriage rattling. The sound leads her outside of the forest and onto a road. Looking down the road, she spots a jet black horse and an ornate carriage rolling forward.
"Hitomi?" She examines the crest emblazoned on the drapes covering the carriage.
To her surprise, the carriage rolls to a stop. Peeling back the drapes, an old man with a wriggly mustache sticks out his head.
"Are you lost, priestess? My master and I are headed into town and would be more than happy to accommodate you."
Kikyo smiles, glancing at the crest again. Handling demons is easier than royalty, she thinks.
"I wouldn't want to trouble you," she says. "I was just in the forest and heard your carriage."
"It is no trouble at all. I consider it a good omen to have happened upon a priestess."
Another man, younger with long dark hair and chestnut eyes, parts the curtain to fully reveal himself. Kikyo dips into a low curtsy without even thinking.
"My lord," she says.
"Come now, there's no need for that. Your station is far more revered than my own."
Kikyo rises, noting his sincere and gentle aura. She can sense no malevolence in this man.
"I am Kagewaki and I would be honored if you would let us escort you wherever you need to go."
Most of her life Kikyo has played by the rules only to give birth to a wide canyon of longing. She could live many lifetimes and not be able to fill it, but in this new life, she chooses to try. Taking Kagewaki's hand, she steps up into the carriage and they set off.
Holding Tenseiga to the light, Sesshomaru examines the blade; unmarred by battle or death. The older he gets, the harder it becomes to retain any respect for his father. It's a daily ritual attempting to make peace with Toga's will for Tenseiga and Tessaiga. But it's difficult to ascend with things weighing you down, so he sheathes Tenseiga and stops upsetting himself.
If he is to ascend, however, a blade that can defeat his enemies is required and Totosai's nowhere to be found. Sesshomaru considers going to him, but he believes impatience dulls the senses. The bandages securing what remains of his left arm need to be replaced. He's starting to itch.
Before he can curse Totosai in his mind, he hears the familiar braying of an ox on the wind and sure enough, Totosai is heading his way. He hits the ground with a flourish. Ignoring Sesshomaru, he gapes at the castle restoration.
"Save the shock and awe," Sesshomaru says. "I'm sure Myoga's told you everything."
Totosai squints at him, but it's true. Myoga couldn't wait to tell him Sesshomaru was stepping into his role as a demon lord in more than just name only. But seeing it for himself is another matter.
"I was going to compliment you, but you have to suck the fun out of everything."
There's never been anything fun about interacting with Totosai, but Sesshomaru focuses on the business at hand.
"I need a sword."
"You have one." Totosai smiles at Tenseiga.
There has to be a reason dealing with people is so taxing, but Sesshomaru hasn't figured it out. He unsheathes Tenseiga, points it at Totosai, and swings. Not so much as a hair on his mustache is disturbed.
"This sword can't cut anything as you well know." Sesshomaru puts Tenseiga back.
Totosai shrugs, leaning on his mallet.
"Is that so terrible? I'd like to think the people you would cut down are relieved."
Sesshomaru's anger bubbles to the point of a near transformation. Totosai goes ramrod straight at the sight of his crimson eyes.
"I was only having a little joke at your expense, Sesshomaru. You really ought to lighten up! I can't forge you another sword. Tenseiga is your destiny."
It takes many deep breaths to go back to his usual form. Sesshomaru considers a few ways to kill Totosai that don't include damaging the progress to the estate.
"Totosai," he finally says, "leave now if you value your life. "You aren't the only one who can create a sword."
The seats inside of Kagewaki's carriage are softer than any surface Kikyo's ever slept on. A soft, plum blossom scent permeates the air and Kagewaki himself smells of Japanese mint. Kikyo knows many people who complete lengthy shows of gratitude just to get a hot bath every once in a while. Class and wealth are truly a disease, she thinks to herself.
"So where are you headed, priestess?" Despite Kagewaki's status, Kikyo chooses to judge him by the kindness in his eyes.
"My name is Kikyo," she says.
Kagewaki's attendant bursts into a coughing fit. He hacks as if he's swallowed his tongue. Kagewaki fusses over him, but he puts out a hand until he's able to breathe again.
"I am fine, young master. Think nothing of it."
But the brief flash of terror on his face is not lost on Kikyo.
"You'll have to forgive Hitoshi, Lady Kikyo. Springtime doesn't agree with him." Kagewaki speaks with a cadence trained to diffuse situations.
"Indeed, milady," Hitoshi says, giving her a pointed look. "But you were about to tell us where you're headed."
Kikyo thinks, trying to come up with an answer. When she left the village, there wasn't a destination in mind, just a feeling.
"I only want to help others so I am prepared to go where I'm needed."
This answer seems to satisfy them both and Hitoshi relaxes again. Kagewaki explains that he has business in the merchant district. When Kikyo doesn't ask for him to go into detail, he does anyway. And then his eyes light up with an idea.
"Perhaps, you can find people in need of you there. After all, everyone who's there is looking to procure something."
He sounds more excited about Kikyo's next move than she is, but she admits his enthusiasm is contagious. If his job is to get people to rally around things, he's good at it.
The driver informs them that the merchant town is close and Kikyo feels a world away from home. So used to rural areas, the thought of entering a bustling town flowing with money and objects seems like a fantasy.
At last, the carriage stops, the bumpy vibrations of a paved road surprising Kikyo. Hitoshi pushes the drapes back and steps out of the carriage, holding out a hand for Kikyo. When he feels no warmth in her touch, he withdraws eye contact. Kikyo ignores his weirdness again because it takes too much energy to care, focusing her attention on the throng of people that have gathered around them instead.
When Kagewaki joins them outside of the carriage, the crowd moves in closer. Men press in asking to shake Kagewaki's hand. Women go up on their tiptoes confirming, "It is him."
Glancing at Kikyo's attire, a man apologizes for bumping into her but still pushes his way towards Kagewaki.
"If you all would make way please!" Hitoshi spreads out his arms and the people part a few inches, but only a few inches.
The ordeal lasts less than five minutes but Kikyo is thankful her fame is the kind that makes people question their life choices and fear her.
After hours of tracking down swordsmiths, Jaken holds the single fruit of his labor in his hands, beaming at it like a spoil of war. Sesshomaru had given him just one more hour to produce results before ending his life.
"I have outsmarted time itself," Jaken sighs.
Sesshomaru enters the room dressed in blue robes and black steel armor, a silver sash secured at his waist. Jaken loses his train of thought at the sight of him.
"You look amazing, Master! Whatever is the occasion?"
Taking a handheld bronze mirror, Sesshomaru frets over his bangs and smoothes out his eyebrows.
"There is none," he says. "I believe I gave you a job."
It isn't easy for Jaken to come out of his stupor. After first witnessing Sesshomaru's terrible power, the last thing he had expected was one of the most beautiful beings he's ever seen. It was enough to abandon his own people and despite what anyone on the outside looking in would say, he has never regretted following Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru zeroes in on the paper in his hands, bringing Jaken fully back to reality.
"Well, milord. There is but one swordsmith who is able to forge a blade that rivals Tessaiga, but–"
'But' either negates everything that came before it, or denotes some unfavorable other aspect, and it's one of the words Sesshomaru despises the most. Jaken trembles, knowing this.
"Kaijinbo is a former disciple of Totosai's, milord."
To Jaken's surprise, Sesshomaru smiles, reaches down and takes the paper from him.
"You make that sound like a bad thing, Jaken. Far from it. Come. Let us go and pay this Kaijinbo a visit."
Jaken believes it will take many lifetimes to understand Sesshomaru, but as always, he follows him.
Kikyo deters the stragglers hoping to get close to Kagewaki with a scathing look. Even though her own name carries weight, the concept of fame is lost on her. Crowds of strangers fixated on and scrutinizing those they paradoxically deem worthy feels unholy, but "Who am I to judge," she tells herself.
"Why don't you disguise yourself?" she asks him. "Or come when the area is less populated?"
Kagewaki holds a robe against his body, getting a feel for the color on his complexion. The look in his eyes takes him galaxies away from her.
"The majority of my life has been laid out for me, Lady Kikyo. Allow me this brief autonomy."
His glow returns when he picks up another garment. For a moment, Kikyo envies him. Despite his position as daimyo of the Eastern Lands, he withholds a bit of freedom for himself, an uncompromisable thing that's all his own. Her life with Inuyasha was to be her rebellion. In letting go of what was not meant to be, room is created for what is.
"Let's explore the other shops," Kagewaki says. He takes her hand, catching her off guard, but she doesn't resist.
They venture to another merchant specializing in men's clothing much more formal than the last. Judging by the look on Kaegewaki's face, they've struck gold. He flits about the columns of attire and loose fabric, pointing out a sign that indicates custom designs.
"Help me design something. I have an important announcement coming up and I need a look that conveys authority and assured victory."
His cheerful expression slips into a grave one. Unlike before, he doesn't reveal anything else. The shopkeeper emerges, eager to assist them and Kagewaki turns to him to discuss the vision for his outfit. The price of a yard of fabric is enough to feed her entire village for years. It's not as if she isn't used to fine things. She has worked for many affluent men and women, but she's never allowed herself to partake. Her father was adamant that vanity was poisonous to her spiritual powers, but looking back, she believes he was only referring to a sense of freedom.
A woman with rabbit-red eyes and feathers in her hair glances away the moment Kikyo catches her staring.
If a sword is to overcome Tessaiga and fell his enemies, what it's made of makes all the difference. Holding the head of a dragon demon, Sesshomaru is careful to keep it away from his new clothes.
As he looks down at the merchant town, all he sees are humans. He glances at Jaken, hanging from his fur.
"Explain," he says.
Jaken peruses the map to Kaijinbo's shop and points. Sesshomaru follows his finger down to an area of the district that glows with a nearly imperceptible demonic aura.
"The district is two sides of the same coin, Master. The demon merchants do business in plain sight alongside the humans."
Sesshomaru scoffs, descending towards the sector of merchant demons. Upon breaching the barrier, it's as if they are transported to another dimension. The architecture is different, much more ornate, each structure fortified with magic. Jaken takes mental notes for the estate.
The atmosphere shifts at the sight of Sesshomaru. A sea of demons parts to make way for him. Jaken continues to proudly lead him, the map disappearing into thin air the closer they get to Kaijinbo.
"My lord, you mustn't!" Myoga materializes, perching himself on Sesshomaru's shoulder.
Sesshomaru nearly drops the dragon's head. He has absolutely no reason not to kill him or Totosai except a nagging feeling that his father would disapprove.
"Myoga," he says with as much venom as he can muster.
Myoga sweats. Droplets of water bigger than his body pool on Sesshomaru's shoulder, onto his new robes.
"My lord, you absolutely must not commission Kaijinbo for a sword. He's mad with evil."
Myoga knows more than God. Sesshomaru is absolutely convinced. Hiding the shock of his plans being exposed, he turns his attention back to the map. Mygoa continues to buzz in his ear, but he swats him away.
At last, they arrive at a shack, set apart from the orderly matrix of shops and so lacking in structural integrity, a feather could tip it over. The bedsheet serving as a door flies open with a gust of wind and Sesshomaru and Jaken step inside. In the center of the room sits Kajinbo.
"Who goes?" he asks.
"This should be adequate material for a new sword," Sesshomaru says, tossing the dragon's head at Kaijinbo.
Kaijinbo's eyes glitter at the sight of the dragon's fangs and then he laughs, uproarious laughter that makes Jaken's insides twist. He nudges the dragon's head with a foot.
"Do you take me for a fool? What am I supposed to do with a dead dragon?"
Sesshomaru smirks, rolling his shoulders to finally flick Myoga off of him. Unsheathing Tenseiga, the emissaries of the underworld fade into view, grubby and death-obsessed. So focused on devouring the last of the dragon's soul, they fail to notice Sesshomaru preparing to slash them.
In a second, it's over. They are obliterated into a nothingness more hollow than death and the dragon's head rattles with new life. Kaijinbo grins with more teeth than Jaken has ever seen, and for the very first time, he fears for Sesshomaru's life.