(Quinn)
I opened and closed my eyes repeatedly. I barely woke up, and the hangover soon took over my senses. I rubbed my face. I looked down at my abdomen. For Christ's sake, even a slight movement of the eyes made me dizzy. A head was making a pillow out of my body. Rachel. She was just in her panties and bra. I was dressed. Fully dressed, in fact. Well, it wouldn't be the first time. And the light... where are the sunglasses when you need them? I ran a hand through my hair and threw my arm out to the side. My hand bumped into something... someone. My heart raced and I was afraid to look away. For Christ's sake. What did I do? I counted to 10 and mustered up the courage to turn my face away. Santana. My heart came out of my mouth almost literally. Santana was sleeping in a T-shirt and panties.
"Oh Jesus, please don't! Let nothing happen!" I confess that I even fantasized about having a threesome with Rachel and some other girl. But Santana never came close to those fantasies. No, never ever! That would be disturbing!
My stomach began to churn from the alcohol and this traumatic wake up. I gently pushed Rachel off me and hurried out of that queen-size bed. But in the rush to the bathroom I smashed into the floor. I bumped into someone. Mercedes. What was Mercedes doing there? She was also wearing very few clothes. There was no time to speculate. I had to run to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet and poured out the contents of my stomach. Once, twice, three times. When I'd finished, I looked around. The bathroom was big and beautiful. There was a bathtub and inside it was... Kurt... shirtless. He looked dead. I flushed and sat there trying to get my bearings. Point one: we were in a hotel. A small and very charming one near Cleveland on the shores of Lake Erie. Point two: we had arrived there the day before. Point three: it was Rachel and Santana's parents' wedding. Point four: we had Shelby's bachelor party the night before. For Christ's sake, don't let her crash on the floor of the hotel room too. That would have been too much to bear. I struggled to get up and wash my face.
"Hi Quinn!" The voice came from behind me and it was... loud as hell. I looked towards the owner. Brittany. She was holding a bag full of ice.
"Britt! You don't look like you've been drinking..." My brain wasn't working properly.
"Of course not. I'm breastfeeding, have you forgotten?"
"Oh! That's right." I didn't have much memory of what happened at the bachelor party. I couldn't tell. I turned my attention to the bag of ice. "What's that for?"
"It's to put on Santana's ankle. She'll need it. Oh, by the way, congratulations!"
"What do you mean?" When Brittany threatened to explain, I heard a scream... from Santana herself.
"POR DIOS, ME DUELE!"
Brittany ran into the bedroom and I followed her. Rachel was waking up. Mercedes too. Brittany put the ice on Santana's ankle, which was writhing in pain. Rachel was confused, looking at her own nudity and the whole situation. Mercedes got up with difficulty and then ran to the bathroom. She would probably throw up too. Kurt was probably waking up by now too. If not, maybe he really was dead.
"San, we have to get to the hospital! Your ankle is really swollen."
"What happened?" Rachel was worried, and she didn't seem to have any memories of last night either.
"She twisted her foot. But she was so drunk she didn't even feel it."
"ME SIENTO AHORAAAAA!"
"Satan, honey, be polite for once in your life and turn it down!" Kurt finally woke up, in that typical posture with two fingers on his temple and one arm crossed, supporting the other.
"Which room are we in?" Mercedes asked with a shot face.
"Kurt's room." Brittany replied. Well, she seemed to be the only one who knew everything.
"Oh... that's... weird!" Kurt was really groggy.
Miranda Lopez and the girls' aunts appeared at the bedroom door wanting to know about the screaming. When they saw Santana, they tried to help. Well, they were in good shape, apart from Brittany. They were in a better position to help than the rest of us. The girls' maternal grandmother also showed up. She was almost cowering at the entrance to the room, spying on the movement. She was a strange figure I barely remembered, but she had every right to be there as the bride's mother. They escorted Santana to the hospital speaking a lot of things in Spanish. I had some difficulty understanding this language, despite my best efforts to learn it. I found it extremely sexy when Rachel made love to me speaking in Spanish. I looked at my lady... she was a little embarrassed to be caught by her grandmother and aunts in such circumstances, in just her panties and bra. And it wasn't the everyday cotton kind: it was sexy lace lingerie, worn when you had ulterior motives.
"Okay... can someone explain to me what happened here?" Mercedes threw herself on the bed after Santana was carried out of the room.
"The last thing I remember was us arriving at the hotel, don't ask me how." Rachel replied. "And I think we played truth or dare... I'm not sure... for God's sake..." It was her turn to run to the bathroom in her panties and bra. Slowly, I made my way to the bathroom. I didn't feel sure of my steps and the light was bothering me. I found Rachel leaning over the toilet.
"I want to die." She said softly, crying. I flushed the toilet and helped her up. She quickly rinsed her mouth, and we left the bathroom with her leaning on me. Mercedes and Kurt were the only ones left in the room, but I wasn't interested in stopping for a chat.
"Let's go to our room..." I led Rachel out the door without even saying goodbye to her friends.
She readily accepted my gesture and took my hand to help support herself. That's when my heart raced. The ring. The engagement ring I had been planning to give Rachel on a romantic evening on my birthday… or spontaneously if the situation arose. That's why I brought the ring in my bag. That ring was on Rachel's finger. I quickened my pace because my girlfriend was almost naked, and because I didn't want anyone to see that I was almost panicking. Our room was 210... yes, 210. Where was the card that unlocked the door? I looked in my jacket pocket. It was a relief to find it intact. But before I had a chance to swipe the card, Rachel turned the handle. The door was open. Our room had almost everything in place, except for my suitcase, which had been rummaged through. I had the slight impression that I was responsible for that myself. Rachel looked at her hand and examined the ring. I stopped breathing for a second and fought not to freak out.
"You asked me to marry you?" Rachel seemed to control herself.
"I had other plans for proposing..." I said quietly. I wanted to die right there in shame. "It wasn't my intention to propose on the verge of an alcoholic coma. I wanted to remember every moment when I proposed."
"The engagement... I don't really remember... of the proposal... my mind is confused, but I think it's plausible to say that you were spontaneous." She giggled and I was relieved.
"But then? Rachel Barbra Berry-Lopez?" I knelt down in front of her and held her hand. "Will you marry me?"
"What? No pretty speeches?" The playful way she answered brought me relief. Her saying yes drunk was easy, but saying yes sober, even with a monumental hangover, was another story.
"It's mean of you to ask nice words of someone who's hungover!" She then kissed me on the lips. It was a rough kiss, but our breath was rotten.
"They say that the best way to celebrate an engagement is to cause a few earthquakes... on the bed... after you've brushed your teeth..." She whispered in my ear, making my skin crawl. "My answer is yes. I'd be crazy not to marry the love of my life." I smiled, but my head was spinning so much that the romanticism was flushed away. Getting it back would take time.
"Rachel, you know I don't usually waste any opportunity to make love to you, but I'm disgusting, I urgently need to do my personal hygiene... and so do you. Not to mention that I don't think an orgasm is going to help this infernal hangover." Then I kissed her hand. "How about this: we do our hygiene together, silly hands are totally allowed, we take some aspirin, order a meal in the bedroom and relax a bit until we can celebrate properly?"
"Hummm... sounds great!"
And so we did. We celebrated our engagement in a hotel room on the eve of Rachel's parents' wedding over vegetable soup and watching reruns of "House" (Rachel was a fan), lying in bed in comfortable pyjamas. It was very different from what I had planned and imagined. I was going to take Rachel to see "The Lion King" on Broadway, then have dinner with her at Tropical Sensation and then, on a romantic stroll through Central Park, I would ask for her hand. But I proposed to her drunk, apparently during a game of truth or dare and with three other drunk people and maybe Brittany as witnesses. I've never been happier. When the episode ended, Rachel was asleep. I closed my eyes and fell asleep too.
I woke up hours later. It was after five in the afternoon and I was startled to have slept for almost six hours. At least my head felt better.
"Good afternoon." Rachel kissed my forehead.
"Did I oversleep?" I tried to get up, but it was a bad idea to do it quickly. I rolled over slowly and took another aspirin. The binge was epic. "Have you been awake long?"
"A while. I just didn't have the courage to get up. I kept thinking about my ring."
"Oh." I raised an eyebrow. I was worried. What if she changed her mind?
"We need to plan a perfect wedding ceremony. But I'm worried about time. My semester is all taken up with the new play. We won't be able to schedule our ceremony now... and it will have to be in New York, because I don't want to get married in Ohio. It wouldn't make sense."
Josh was a complete asshole, but he did an excellent job as Rachel's agent. He arranged an audition for Rachel and she got the lead role in a new off-Broadway musical by David Bowie and Wes Travis. There weren't many details about the project, and Rachel hadn't signed the contract yet, but she was to take part in the whole rehearsal process and would play the role for three months. If the play goes well, the understudy, or even another actress, will take over for the rest of the season. Rachel didn't yet know if she would be able to do the play for longer because of the TV show, which may be renewed for a second season.
"Our ceremony will be perfect even if we leave the registry office straight for an ice cream parlor."
"Ice cream parlor?" She grumbled. "I prefer a coffee shop."
"That's fine." I snuggled up to her. "Do you think of any dates?"
"I think of seasons. I like winter, the white snow..."
Rachel remained silent. I also tried not to speak too soon. It was nice to imagine the scenery, even though winter wasn't my favorite season.
"I wanted to stay here forever..." I said, snuggling Rachel against my body. We were so at peace. I could spend my whole life cuddled up to my fiancée and never tire of it.
"We have rehearsal dinner with the bride and groom..." Rachel sighed.
"Will they notice if we don't go?"
"Quinn... I'm the bride's and the groom's daughter... Of course they will. Besides, my mom sent a text message complaining about Santana..."
"Obviously..."
"And recommending that we don't be late for dinner."
"That brings me to another question: should we make the announcement?"
"I don't know... today and tomorrow are days that my parents should have all their attention on. Tell you what: I'll wear my wonderful engagement ring and go around as normal. If anyone asks, I won't deny it. Then we'll see what happens. What do you think?"
"It's perfect for me."
We slowly got out of bed and started to get ready to face other people. Rachel and I walked hand in hand to the restaurant set up exclusively for family and friends. Many people were already there. Miranda was with Robert on her lap, and Brittany was standing nearby watching her son and besides Santana. The devil himself was sitting on a chair with her foot on another chair. Brittany didn't look happy. Neither did Santana, to tell the truth. Something had happened between them.
"The doctor said that she tore the ligaments in her ankle, but that she needs a better examination to see if it was total or partial." Brittany patted Santana on the head. "Poor San, she's going to have to be on crutches for a while."
"I'm going to have an arthroscopy... papi got in touch with a colleague of his in New York... so, you see... I'm not going to escape to have another surgery."
The rehearsal dinner was packed. Beth was running up and down with two other children her age. My daughter was getting prettier and smarter. Her energy was admirable. Part of our New Directions class was also invited at the girls' request, but some would only attend the ceremony the following day. Years passed and contacts were lost. Mercedes, for example, only kept contact because of Rock'n'Pano and because she was dating Julio, Rachel and Santana's cousin. Kurt and Finn were invited along with Carole and Burt, who were on good terms with Juan. Naturally, Finn and Kurt were also invited. You just had to do the math. But I enjoyed seeing Kurt again. I had very little contact with Puck, and our connection was only with Beth. Even so, he was invited but decided to decline. I didn't talk to Finn, not least because we had become rivals. Mike arrived in the afternoon and brought Johnny with him. After so long, Santana finally invited her boyfriend to take part in a family event, but he had to decline because he had to present a paper at an important conference for his academic resumé. Schuester was Shelby's friend and rival, and Mrs. Pillsbury was Schue's plus one.
"Quinn Fabray!" Mike approached with two glasses in his hands. He offered me one of them, and I decline. No alcohol that day. "Kurt mentioned something about you giving your girl a certain ring. Is that true?"
"Does he remember that?"
"Apparently."
"And what do you think about it?"
"Do you really want my opinion?" Mike looked at me seriously.
"I'd appreciate it!"
He walked towards the end of the hall, to a more discreet place. Putting distance between himself and the rest of the party.
"I don't doubt that you and Rachel will end up together. What worries me, Quinn, is whether this is the right time. I mean, you're only 20..."
"I'll be 21 next month, Mike!" His opinion, although I could understand the logic, didn't go down too well. He was my best friend and I expected an equivalent attitude.
"You understand, Quinn. What's the need to formalize a marriage when you've been living together for so long? What's the rush?"
"But if I'm going to spend my life with her, why not get married soon? Or do you have some other reason for not approving this step?"
"I only want your good, Quinn." Mike took a sip of champagne. "May you and Rachel be very happy."
Mike turned away and walked towards Johnny. What I knew, and what wasn't said in our conversation, was that he liked me and couldn't have me. What a pain for him, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. If he was jealous, that was his problem! I decided to ignore Mike for the rest of the evening.
...
(Santana)
I don't know what hurt more: my head or my foot. I couldn't move my whole leg, in fact. Everything was throbbing. I think only vodka could numb everything. If having another drink meant stopping the pain, where was my alcohol? Tia Rosa and Tia Maria put a horrible skirt on me before putting me in the car. I think it was my Tia Rosa's skirt, judging by the size of the dress: it was closer to mine, and she was never the best fashionista. It wasn't that Tia Maria was fat: she was the fullest in the family and had generous hips. A few people accompanied me: abuela and Linda Corcoran. Brittany asked the grandmothers to keep an eye on Robby. She said there is a bottle ready in his thermos and everything. Abuela knew things. The boy would be fine. So she got into the back seat of the car with me and continued to apply the ice. Gradually the ice took effect, at least I calmed down on the way to the hospital.
"Vea lo que da de beber?" Here came Tia Maria's sermon. "Usted debe aprender a no ser exageraciones. Esto no es cristiana, Santana!"
"Soy judia, tía." When Tia Maria wanted to be annoying, she was unbeatable, God. She didn't let up even when we were hungover and had broken feet.
"The girls were having fun. Y fue la despedida de soltero de la madre de las niñas. Qué ha hecho! Ni siquiera Ana?" Tia Rosa used to call me that. She was the only one in the family who called me "Ana". All I know is that I nodded. Tia Rosa always rescued me from Tia Maria's nagging and caroling.
Brittany looked at me with the expression that she didn't understand what was going on. Only she could make me laugh in the face of everything with such a banal gesture. It was always like that when she accompanied me to the Lopez parties or to her abuela's house when we were little. That world in Spanish, and Brittany would open her eyes wide, thinking she was in another world or country. I shook my head and told her to "let it go".
We arrived at the hospital and they quickly provided a wheelchair. Even so, it took almost half an hour for me to be seen. That's when Tia Maria threatened to make a fuss at reception. Well, despite the pain, I was still the daughter of a general surgeon, and I knew how a hospital emergency room worked: you were triaged at reception and, unless you had a compound fracture, the orthopaedic team understood that you could wait. Of course, a scandalous Latin madwoman with a cell phone threatening to call the press changes things, especially in a private hospital.
"See if it's humane to let people get sick in line." Tia Maria went on to shout after an administrative official promised to speed things up. "Whoever is having a heart attack should run somewhere else!"
"Maria!" Tia Rosa restrained her. "Stay here with Santana and Brittany and I'll find out someone."
Tia Rosa returned with an orthopedic doctor. She always had a special way of dealing with people and turning a situation around. The doctor ordered an x-ray as well as saline and medicine to cut the hangover and ankle pain. I hadn't broken any bones, but my pain was still acute, so he sent me for a CT scan, which made us wait for another half hour for a place in the machine.
"That's absurd!" Tia Maria wasn't happy. "I don't understand this medicine that's only interested in taking our money."
"At least my health insurance covers it... until I'm at least 21!"
"What?" Tia Rosa wondered. "Will my brother have the courage to cut all the money? It's about time! It's about time he stopped whining about you and your sister and took action."
"Tia Rosa, I thought you were on my side!"
"I love you, Ana, but you have your own company and your sister is an actress who's going to star in an HBO series. Besides, my brother has a new daughter to look after."
"Daniela lives at her parent's house to this day, and you don't say a bad word about her!"
"What's wrong with your cousin living with us?" Tia Maria was offended. "Our house is where she should be!"
"Daniela's been engaged for about five years..." I muttered quietly.
My cousin took care of the brewery, and it made sense for her to continue "living" with my aunt and uncle, as she would be close to work. In fairness, Daniela didn't exactly live with them. She lived in a house of her own. It was a smaller house, one of those compact and functional ones, built behind Tia Maria's house on the farm, forming a sort of condominium. Technically, Daniela became her parents' neighbor, in the house where she lived with her fiancé (this was the only way for Tia Maria to accept the situation). But I liked to tease Daniela by saying that she still lived with her parents, as if she still occupied her old childhood bedroom.
"Your family is really fun, San!" Brittany smiled and patted me on the back.
My mood automatically improved: it was the effect this woman had on me. I was seen and had the test. We spent another half an hour waiting for the report, and the doctor finally gave his verdict: I had torn the ligaments in my ankle, but he couldn't be sure if the damage was partial or if I had torn them completely. The difference between one case and the other would be the recovery time. This meant that my foot would be immobilized, and that I would leave the hospital with a doctor's recommendation for an arthroscopy - something I would probably do in New York. And after the surgery, I would undergo painful months of physiotherapy. I knew more or less the routine, because I broke a few bones when I was little. I dislocated two fingers on my right hand and broke my big toe and my left arm.
Last time it was all Rachel's fault. I was making a boring old lady from the neighborhood pay for giving us toothpaste on Halloween. So I grabbed two rolls of toilet paper and went to mess up that horribly manicured garden. Rachel went with me, of course, because she was the one who watched my back when I was in action. But the witch's son caught us in the act. Rachel was paralyzed on the spot and I had to pull her up so we could ride off on our bikes while the guy chased after us.
But on the occasion of Halloween, we pedaled in desperation until long after we had managed to leave the old woman's son behind. The street before our house was a small slope. We were still pedaling fast when Rachel went a bit off the rails and slammed her bike into mine. She still managed to brake, but I fell badly on the grass, rolling and everything. My body was bruised and I still have a scar on my knee, which was skinned in the process, and I broke my left arm. The guy who owned the house where I fell knew us and called Dad and Papi. I was grounded and my parents made me go to the old lady's house to apologize. Rachel and I were 10 years old.
"Are you okay?" Brittany brought me out of my dream world.
"Yes..." I replied as a nurse appeared with an injection kit to stick my arm and apply the anti-inflammatory and pain medication and the serum with the medicine to cut the hangover. I had no problem with needles, but Britt was impressed by these things: she hated injections. "Why don't you go and keep Tia Maria company?"
"She doesn't like me very much!"
"You could do me a favor then. I feel like reading that magazine I like. Will you buy me one?"
"Of course! I can do that."
As soon as Brittany left, I allowed the nurse to do her job. In the meantime, Brittany returned with my magazine, pleased to have helped. Before going back to the hotel, Tia Maria stopped by a pharmacy and bought my medication, my crutches and an immobilizer for my ankle recommended by the doctor. The crutches were expensive, but she didn't worry, because she would charge my father every penny. Tia Maria also said that when I had finished using them, I should donate them to one of the institutions that her church supported. I wouldn't object to donating the crutches when I no longer needed them.
Shelby was startled when she saw me arriving at the hotel with crutches and a boot on my feet. Then she had a funny reaction that I didn't know exactly whether she wanted to hug me or shout at me.
"Kid..." She chose to kiss my head. We weren't doing very well. The wedding celebration was the first opportunity we'd had to talk civilly after the huge fight over the phone about the extra money she'd demanded when she found out she was having two girls, one of which was out of contract. "What happened?"
"When we got back here, Santana twisted her foot." Britt answered for me.
"The doctor said she had torn her ligaments..." Tia Maria added. "That's what happens when you drink until you fall."
"What do you mean 'you drink until you fall'?" I knew Shelby would stop at that detail. "The only one who should have been in an alcoholic coma was me! You haven't turned 21 yet and you drank yourself into a stupor? Santana?"
"Don't be a hypocrite, Shelby! On our first date you ordered root beers for me in a bar!"
"They were non-alcoholic root beers!"
"And you were drinking at my age..."
Shelby threw me another murderous look. It's not my fault that she told me a lot of the shit she did with the intention of getting closer to me and Rachel. She said that the first year after she got pregnant was particularly bad because she almost turned into a junkie in New York: she drank and smoked a lot of weed! But to assuage her guilt, she justified the phase as a period in which she was confused by the regret of having given us up when she could have demanded some rights.
"I'm still your mother, I'm here now and you're not going to discuss this with me. You need to go to your room and put your foot up."
"I'd rather have lunch. I'm starving."
"I'll have it served in your room... noodles bolognese, okay?"
Brittany kissed me on the cheek and ran off to meet Robby. I guess it was time to breastfeed him. She was a good mother. She looked after her boy with great method and care. Shelby wanted to be a concerned mother and accompanied me. She asked about all the doctor's recommendations and was scared that I might have to have surgery.
"I can't believe you were so irresponsible, Santana! And on my wedding! You were supposed to walk in looking beautiful and wonderful next to your sister... not with a limp and crutches."
"Mom, just because today is the rehearsal dinner, could you ease up on the lecturing? I'm a bit dizzy, my foot is inoperable and I'm going to have to deal with Papi's lecture soon. Add all this to the fact that Brittany is right at my fingertips and there's nothing I can do about it."
"Brittany is already a mother and is living with her boyfriend, kid, and you have a boyfriend." She ran her fingers through my hair. "Andrew is a guy who does you good, who helps you. You should think of him with more respect and affection."
"I think... Ah, why is life so complicated?"
"We make it that way."
"I thought Brittany and I would be forever. But we seem to be drifting further and further apart."
"I disagree." Shelby looked me in the eye. I found her dark green eyes beautiful. Too bad I didn't inherit her eye color. My eyes are dark brown, like all the Lopezes. "We can be forever for many people, San. That's not to say that this necessarily refers to a romantic relationship. Friendships can be forever. Haven't you ever thought about that?"
"That's not what I had in mind."
"I know. But sometimes friendship is all you can have."
We heard knocks on the door. Beth came in and jumped on the bed. She was curious about the crutches and the boot that immobilized my foot. We three had lunch there and we chatted. Papi arrived after his bachelor party hotel in Vegas. He came into my room aware of everything that had happened and didn't seem happy with me. At least he held it together and didn't nag. Half the world had already done that for him. The funny thing was that Rachel drank as much as I did and wasn't reprimanded. When they left my hotel room, I wasn't alone for long.
Britt soon appeared. This time with Robby on her lap and a few toys in her hand. Plus the inevitable cloth diaper slung over her shoulder. She laid the boy down in the middle of the bed and then lay back, letting the two of us form a protective barrier.
"I'm curious, Britt. What happened yesterday?"
"How much do you remember?"
"That we made Shelby drunk as fuck. Then I had too many tequila shots. The go-go boys... dancing with you... Mercedes wanted a lap dance from a go-go boy, but we ended up paying Kurt. I don't remember exactly when we got back to the hotel..."
"Shelby left first. She wasn't that drunk and left with her friends her own age. Me, you, Rachel, Kurt, Quinn and Mercedes left a hour after Shelby and we squeezed into a single cab. Then Kurt suggested that we continue the party in his room, and you grabbed all the alcoholic drinks available in the minibars. You twisted your foot trying to climb the hotel stairs. I helped you up and put you on Kurt's bed, from where you never left. Instead of drinks, Quinn showed Rachel an engagement ring, beautiful by the way, and we all celebrated."
"Quinn what?"
"Quinn asked Rachel to marry her and Rachel said yes. You said something rude and got a slap on the arm from your sister." Brittany said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Kurt went to the bathroom and never came back. We started playing truth or dare, and in the first round you challenged Mercedes to a streap tease. She said she'd do it if you took your pants off. Only you couldn't even move properly, so Mercedes herself took your pants off, just like that. In the process, she tripped, fell to the floor and stayed there. Rachel got excited and said she would replace Mercedes and do the show dedicated to Quinn. She started dancing on the bed. You said you refused to watch it, turned on your side and went to sleep. Rachel took off her blouse, and fell on top of Quinn when she took off her skirt. They laughed for a while until they fell asleep. After I made sure no one had died, I went to my room to check on my son. Shelby's mother stayed to look after Robby. They were both asleep when I arrived."
"Well... that was... pathetic! I can't believe I drank to the point of not even feeling an injury like that... And Rachel? Really?"
"I was watching your back. I wasn't going to let anything bad happen to you and the others."
"It used to be the other way around." I looked at Brittany. "I was the one looking after you."
"I've grown up, San." Britt stroked her son's little belly. "I need to take care of him now." I nodded and forced a smile when what I really wanted to do was cry.
"How are things with you and Jim?"
"Jim's a nice guy. He's attentive to me and he's a good father, the kind who changes diapers and makes Robby sleep on his chest on the sofa. He's lovely."
"But do you love him more than you love me?"
"My love for you has never diminished... I think... I think it's just become a little different."
"Don't you want me anymore?" I felt like a frightened little girl.
"Santana, the day I stop wanting you, it will be the end of the world. You'll always be the girl who makes me salivate with your beauty and sexiness. A part of me will always be yours, no matter what."
"Well?"
"You have your responsibilities and priorities, and I have mine. I have Robert to look after and I'm with his father. For now, this is the best I can give my son: a normal family. I'm getting back in shape to work, and soon I'll start teaching dance classes to children at Jim's studio. I can't be as impulsive as I used to be, San. I love you so much... but I have to think not only about what's good for me, but also what's good for my son. Besides, Jim has been nothing but supportive all this time."
"Don't you get tired of rejecting me?" I said with a little disappointment and anger.
I crossed my arms and turned my face away. Then I felt Brittany move on the bed and then a weight on my body. She gave me a kiss that made me melt. My heart raced like it hadn't in a long time. Brittany had such a disturbing effect on me.
"That means..." I said, opening my eyes, still flooded with the sensation of the kiss.
"That I love you, San, and I always will. You're my best friend, and that's exactly what I'd like for our relationship right now."
"I'd move to Los Angeles for you." I wiped a stubborn tear from my eye.
"I'd send you back to New York, because that's where you belong: with Rachel, with your friends, studying at a college full of smart people just like you."
"I don't feel very smart right now."
"Then let me be the smart one here, San: our lives don't fit together now. Not the way you want them to. But know that I'll always be there for you whenever you need to talk."
She gave me one last kiss before grabbing Robby and leaving my room. When I found myself alone, I cried like a helpless child and put a pillow over my face so no one would hear me.
I lay there with my face to the pillow until my cell phone started sending me countless text messages: they were all from my parents asking me not to be late for dinner. With nothing else to do, I got out of bed, splashed cold water on my face and asked help for get ready. Shelby answered my call and helped me shower and put on my clothes. The rest, like drying my hair and doing my makeup, was up to me. When I left my room, dinner was already underway. Brittany was chatting to my aunts as if nothing had happened. As soon as she saw me, she rushed over to make me sit in a chair. I didn't want her care, but I also didn't want to send her away from me, as contradictory as that was.
Rachel arrived for dinner accompanied by Quinn. I remembered what Brittany had said and looked at my sister's hands. I saw the discreet but sparkling ring on her right hand. I would have liked to have confronted my sister, couldn't she see that getting engaged at that point in her life was crazy? We were in the middle of a battle with Weiz, she had projects lined up, Quinn was still struggling to get a foothold in life. Would she still do all this under the responsibility of a marriage? What planet did my sister live on? What planet did Quinn live on? What was the point of getting married if they're already living and sleeping together?
But it was my parents' wedding, and I wouldn't ruin their moment by fighting with Rachel and Quinn. Besides, it was hard to confront someone who walked around like she was the queen of the party, while I was stuck to the chair, too unwilling to walk around on crutches. Lucky for Rachel.
...
June 27, 2015
(Rachel)
A person who says they don't like wedding parties can only be very grumpy, and that they haven't had a romance in their life. I used to love wedding parties. The grander, the better. I loved everything about it: the ceremony (I always cried), the first dance, the cutting of the cake, the speeches, the toasts, the farewell to the bride and groom - when they didn't leave in French. Everything was so bright and beautiful. And my parents' wedding party was even more special after Quinn proposed. I vaguely remember her doing it drunk, but even the reinforcement of the proposal in the midst of a terrible hangover was perfect. Am I that incorrigibly romantic? I couldn't stop looking at my hand, and seeing that beauty glistening on my finger. Quinn handcuffed me to her and I couldn't have been happier.
On my happy day, I was pleased to see that almost everyone else was there too. My family was together: the Lopez family always threw the liveliest parties. Tio Pedro was exhausting his vast repertoire of jokes while Tia Maria looked at him crossly to make him shut up. Santana was hurt, but she and Brittany seemed to have talked things through. Andrew managed to show up for the ceremony and be introduced to the family. I think he was at a conference to present a paper, and managed to catch a train to Cleveland in time. The scene where Santana and he met was adorable. As always, she called him a nerd, and he called her a fox. I loved these nicknames between them.
Jim, Brittany's boyfriend, also arrived for the ceremony. It was the first time I saw him. He was a huge man, taller, stronger and more harmoniously built than Finn. I had to admit that he was a very handsome black man and that he had presence. Brittany and Jim formed a lovely portrait of a happy family. Mercedes was happy with my cousin Julio. Mike was behaving himself next to Johnny - I had a bet with Quinn on how long it would take Mike to pick up a woman. Tia Rosa and her husband Tony seemed more distant. And then there were my parents. Who would have thought that Shelby Corcoran and Juan Lopez would end up together happily ever after?
Many people only arrived on the day of the wedding ceremony. Bubbee and Zaide were some of them. They came to the ceremony out of respect for us, but I know that, deep down, Bubbee hated Shelby. I also saw many of my father's and Shelby's work colleagues and friends. My mother's brother also only arrived on the day of the ceremony, which was good because it avoided some stress and embarrassment. Thomas Corcoran was a pain in the ass. I loved seeing that prejudiced red neck in the midst of so many Latinos. His white American sister was marrying a brown-skinned Latino after having daughters with him and her late gay husband. I felt like laughing at Thomas' face.
Before the ceremony, I stopped by my mother's room. She looked stunning and chic. She had wisely chosen not to wear a conventional wedding dress. She chose a beautiful caramel-colored one designed by a designer from Columbus. The ladies' dresses were also the best I've seen since Finn and Kurt's parents' wedding. My mother asked me, Santana and two of her friends to be the bridesmaids. Tio Pedro was my father's best man, who was wonderful and also very nervous. Formally, it was the first time he had been married in his life, since his marriage to Dad had never had any legal value. My father was aging very well. He looked young for his 50s. He was in good physical shape and I swear the gray in his hair only made him more charming. He walked in arm in arm with a proud abuela, who also looked beautiful. That was a special little lady for me.
The entrance before the bride was a bit strange because Beth ran out throwing rose petals at people instead of on the floor, I entered next, looking for Quinn among those present, and Santana came next to me on a crutch, and last came my mother's friends. Shelby entered accompanied by Zaide, which I thought was a fitting tribute and consideration. The ceremony was Christian, celebrated by a priest who was a friend of abuela's. I kept thinking about when it would be time for my wedding to Quinn. We would have to plan well how we could reconcile Christian and Jewish traditions in the ceremony.
At the time of the vows, my father came up with a surprise. He signaled to the trio of piano, acoustic bass and drums that was playing a jazzy track at the ceremony. Then he took the microphone.
"I wrote some vows with Pedro's help. They were all rubbish, by the way. I'm not a good speechwriter and my daughters complain that I'm too pragmatic. Well, I'm a doctor, not a poet. So I thought I'd steal a few words. I'm not a very good singer. I'm no match for my wonderful fiancée or my daughters. Know in advance that I'll ruin a classic, and that maybe that's too cheesy, but, Shelby, that's how I feel."
The band started playing and my father made a warning before the lyrics began.
"To those present here, be generous. We've only rehearsed once."
And he began to sing, still under the echo of laughter.
"Love me or leave me and let me be lonely/ you won't believe me but i love you only i'd rather be lonley than happy with somebody else."
I swear I screamed and put my hands to my face. "Love Me or Leave Me" was a classic. My father loved Nina Simone, and this song was the best. Even better that papi didn't ruin it. He was at the right pitch and rhythm. He even danced in his shy, charming way. My father was beautiful.
"You might find the night time the right time for kissing/ Night time is my time for Just reminiscing/ regretting of forgetting with somebody else. There'll be no one unless that someone is you/ i intended to be independently blue. I want your love, don't wanna borrow/ have it today to give back tomorrow/ your love is my love/ there's no love for nobody else."
The band started the piano solo and I couldn't resist. I joined papi in an unexpected jam. Those present might even have thought we'd arranged it, but no. I was the one who intruded. I sang the next few verses hugging papi.
"Say, love me or leave me and let me be lonely/ you won't believe me but I love you only/ i'd rather be lonley than happy with somebody else"
Quinn and I exchanged glances.
"You might find the night time the right time for kissing/ Night time is my time for Just reminiscing/ regretting instead of forgetting with somebody else"
Then my father and I started singing together. I did the second voice.
"There'll be no one unless that someone is you/ I intended to be independently blue"
My father finished alone.
"Say i want your love, don't wanna borrow/ have it today to give back tomorrow Your love is my love/ my love is your love/ There's no love for nobody else."
Those present cheered the spontaneous show. My mother jumped into my father's arms and the two of them exchanged an incredible kiss in front of the altar with a twirl and everything. I also wanted to run up to Quinn and kiss her like my father was doing with my mother. But I stopped myself. The attention should be on my parents.
Shelby wiped her tears and took the microphone for the vows.
"Please, Father. Promptly pronounce me married to this man because I need to have a moment with him."
Laughter. They exchanged rings. The priest uttered the most awaited phrase. The groom kissed the bride once again to much applause.
As we made our way to the hall where the party was organized, the dance floor was set up (the band was waiting for my parents to arrive to open the space). We sat in our assigned seats and, at a table for up to eight people, ours was reserved for me, Quinn, Santana, Julio, Mercedes, Daniela and her eternal fiancé. The assigned seats were just an initial formality because, as the party went on, sitting at the table and in the chair with your name on it was no longer a necessity.
They began to serve the meal and the drinks circulated. Shortly after an hour in which people were eating and drinking, the band's lead singer took the microphone and announced.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to introduce newlyweds Juan Lopez and Shelby Corcoran-Lopez."
My parents went straight to the dance floor for the first dance, which in their case was "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Shelby had hired the best band with a great repertoire of Broadway classics. Perfection. Santana and I paid tribute to our parents. We sang, accompanied by the band, Whitney Houston's classic "I wanna dance with somebody (who loves me)", because it was one of Shelby's favorite songs. I hadn't sung a duet with my sister for so long that I'd forgotten how well Santana and I paired up. Our voices harmonized well.
"That's a very nice ring." Finn came to talk to me at one of the tables while Schuester sang and couples danced. It was still strange to be next to him after so long without contact, despite our history. Finn was an important chapter in my life: he'll never stop being my first love.
"Thank you."
"Quinn is a lucky woman to have you."
"We both are." I smiled and looked at my ring once more.
"I was surprised to hear that you and Quinn were standing firm despite Satan next door."
"You've already spoken to her, apparently."
"And as usual, Santana insulted me and called me a party crasher."
"My sister has always been... peculiar in her judgments. But tell me about yourself. How are things going? Still running your stepfather's workshop?"
"Burt and I are partners. He's busy with his position on the city council, so I deal with the office paperwork and the customers. We make a good profit at the end of the month."
"Well, business is good... And how's the other part? The heart? No one special?"
"I've had a few girls. No one who made as strong an impact as Rachel Berry-Lopez."
"Finn..."
"I know my place, Rach. You're becoming a big star, as I always knew you would be. Quinn is the person who's been by your side the whole time. She adores you and it's obvious just by the way she looks at you. What you two have is the stuff of envy."
"Quinn is the love of my life. What you and I had was very important, and part of me will love you forever. But she's my number one, end game. I hope that one day you'll find someone who can be your life too. You deserve it, Finn!"
Schuester finished his performance and opened the microphone for good. Then it was a real party for the old choir. Mercedes sang Aretha Franklin and Tina Turner. Kurt sang Lisa Minelli and the three of us sang lots of Broadway hits. Santana and Johnny sang "One Way or Another" by Blondie. He was more of an enthusiastic guy at the microphone than a singer. But it was nice. Johnny and Santana had chemistry when they were together, no matter how bizarre the idea seemed. Santana also sang "Caramel", by Suzanne Vega, in one of the sexiest moments of the party, even though she had crutches and a horrible immobilizing boot on her foot. Finn sang "Miss You" by the Stones, and I cringed at the possibility that maybe he was singing it to me.
"Hello." Quinn took to the stage for the first time after all the trouble we'd gotten up to with the band. "I didn't have time to do anything elaborate. In fact, Johnny and I stood in the corner and had a quick rehearsal while some members of our old choir jostled on stage. I have a friend called Puck. He once told me that he was inspired by Jewish artists to catch the girls." I heard giggles from the people in the old choir. I think they remembered some episodes. "I think that's an extraordinary idea, especially when I'm madly in love with a Jewish girl who's sitting next to another Jewish girl with a broken ankle." Quinn pointed in my direction. "Rachel Berry-Lopez, this one's for you"
Johnny started playing the guitar, something I didn't even know he did, and soon their voices began to harmonize.
"I thought Love was only true in fairy tales/ meant for someone else but not for me/ oh, Love was to get me/ that's the way it seems/ disappointment haunted all my dreams/ then i saw her face/ now i'm a believer/ not a trace/ of doubt in my mind/ i'm in Love/ i'm a believer/ i couldn't leave her if i tried".
Neil Diamond was definitely one of my favorites now. When they finished, I couldn't resist. I went up on stage and kissed Quinn in front of everyone.
"Family and friends..." I took the microphone. "I'm going to be the wife of this wonderful woman next door!" And I showed my ring. It was an impact. On the other hand, announcements without impact weren't my style.
/
To Spawn: When I think of Juan Lopez, I could cast two actors: Mark Consuelos or Esai Morales. But I prefer Esai Morales.