The Note
'Why am I such an idiot,' was all Nagisa was thinking as he ran through the pouring rain. No coat, no umbrella. Just his everyday regular clothes, and a piece of paper he was gripping for dear life. To people on the streets, the way Nagisa was running, they would think he was running like his life was dependent on it. In a way, they would be right. Not because he was in any immediate danger, but because he had just found out a secret that rocked his very foundation.
Flashback
"I'm moving to America," Kayano stated.
"WHA!" all of E-class yelled.
Kayano had asked all her former classmates if they could meet at the old class building for an announcement he wanted to make. Luckily, everyone was able to make it, including Nagisa.
"When did this happen?" "Why are you going to America?" "Are you in danger?" Multiple people were asking several questions about the announcement that Kayano had just brought on them. After Kayano was able to settle everyone down enough, she was able to answer the questions.
"I got an offer for a big Hollywood movie that I decided to take on," Kayano answered. "It's a year long project, plus with the opportunities of other projects, I decided to make a permanent move."
Okuda responded first, "That's wonderful Kayano, congratulations."
"I'm so happy for you," Kanzaki added.
Other classmates also started congratulating her. Everyone except for Nagisa. Not because he wasn't happy about her opportunity, but because he was sad that the only girl he had ever had feelings for was about to move halfway across the world, & he wasn't going to be there with her. He tried to keep a smile on his face, but he was struggling. "When do you leave?" asked Kurahashi.
"That's the thing, I leave tomorrow. My flight leaves at 1:00 PM."
Everyone was shocked at how soon this move was. Many asked what her reason was for it being so soon, but her response was that the production team wanted her there as soon as possible.
While everyone else was huddled around Kayano, Nagisa stood away, trying to contemplate what he should do. 'Should I tell her how I feel?' Nagisa thought. 'This may be my last chance.'
As he was thinking, Kayano walked up to him, startling him, "What do you think Nagisa?" she asked.
Contemplating his words and how he felt, he decided to lie. "I think it's an amazing opportunity. I'm so happy for you," he forced with a smile. As much as he wanted to tell her, he couldn't. He knew how badly Kayano wanted to be an actress, and he wasn't going to say something that may stop her from doing so.
Kayano gave a small smile at what she heard, "Thank you, Nagisa. It will definitely be interesting."
For the rest of the night, the entire former E-class hung out in the old campus building sharing stories about their current statuses and retelling stories from back in middle school.
As the night went on, Nagisa stayed in the back corner of the classroom, watching everyone else have a good time. But mostly, he was looking at Kayano, thinking about the probability of going through the rest of his life without her. Lost in thought, he was suddenly awakened by Karma. "Oh, hey Karma," Nagisa sighed.
"You need to tell her," Karma demanded.
Nagisa hesitated before answering. He knew Karma knew about his feelings about Kayano for a few years now when Karma got him drunk & accidentally revealed his true feelings for her. "I… I can't."
"Why not. This may be your last chance to tell her," Karma stated.
"I don't want to get in the way of her dreams," Nagisa mumbled. "She wants to be an actress; I can't be the person who prevents her from doing that."
Karma looked at Nagisa, shaking his head in disappointment. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Nagisa. Eventually, you are going to wake up one day, decide you are going to tell her, only to realize you can't. It's gonna eat you alive when you realize that."
Nagisa could only look down at the floor, trying to hold back his frustration, "I know," he grunted. "I know that, but I still can't justify making Kayano give up her dreams for someone like me."
Karma stood there, defeated. He knew there was nothing else he could say to Nagisa that could convince him otherwise. Before he walked away, he sighed, "Just remember what Bitch-sensei said. Feelings are difficult to destroy, but they are a lot harder to resurrect."
For the rest of the night, Nagisa leaned against the corner of the old classroom, contemplating what Karma said.
When Nagisa got home, he went straight to his bed. No shower, no change of clothes, not even a thought of doing anything else. Nothing else even mattered. He crawled into his bed, looking up at a photo'd frame on his nightstand. It was of Kayano. She had gifted it to him back after they graduated E-class. He grabbed the frame, looking at the photo of her in it, breaking down into tears. He held the photo close to his chest, hugging it as he cried himself to sleep, wishing she was there with him.
When he woke up, he was still clutching the framed photo. He slowly sat up, turning his head to look out the window, only to see heavy rain falling. The weather reflected exactly how he was feeling; dark, sad, gloomy, depressed. Any of these words and many more. He looked around his room to see the clock, 9:30 AM.
Once again, he looked down at the photo, "Why do you have to go? Why can't you stay here?" Nagisa hissed. He started shaking, his hands trembling, gripping the frame so hard it started to break. "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TELL YOU HOW I TRULY FEEL ABOUT YOU!" Nagisa screamed, throwing the framed photo across the room, impacting the wall so hard, the frame shattered into several pieces.
Nagisa was now laying on his bed, his head and arms hanging over the foot of his bed. He was crying again. As he looked up at where the shattered frame had landed, he noticed something. Along with the photo & broken pieces, there was a third thing he had never noticed before. An envelope. Curious, he rolled off the bed and walked over to pick it up. Upon inspection, he saw his name was written on the envelope, in Kayano's handwriting. Puzzled, he opened the envelope to find a handwritten note inside.
Nagisa,
If you are reading this letter, then there is something I need to confess to you. It is hard for me to say it to you in person, as I couldn't work up enough courage to tell you, but here it is. The truth is, I love you Nagisa Shiota. Even when I was faking everything about myself in class in order to kill Korosensei, I could never shake the feelings I had about you. At first, I thought it was just a feeling of being overly friendly, but as the year went on, those feelings started to get stronger. From when you helped save me and Kanzaki from those thugs in Kyoto, to both times you defeated Takaoka, and every time I got to see that look of determination in your eyes, my feelings kept getting stronger. Then, you kissed me. You put your own life in danger to save mine, and you did it with a kiss. That was the moment when I realized my true feelings for you Nagisa. And ever since that night, my feelings only grew stronger for you. I wish so badly to be with you, but I also know you have your heart set on being a teacher, and I don't want to get in the way of your dreams. Maybe one day we can be together. I can only hope. Until then, I wish you the best in achieving your dreams. I will love you forever.
Kayano
Nagisa couldn't believe it. The girl who he had had a crush on since he first saw her, felt the same way. Now she is about to move halfway across the world. His hands started shaking, his breath started to become short and irregular. He didn't even think, his body just jumped up and bolted for the front door. He didn't even think to grab a coat or anything. Instead, he just started running. Running straight to Kayano's house, the only thought on his mind, 'I have to tell her before she leaves.'
End of Flashback
Nagisa didn't know how long he had been running, but he didn't care. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to her place. It was then he finally saw her house, using the last of his energy, he made a mad dash for her front door. The only thought in his mind now, 'Please don't let me be too late.'
Akari had just finished packing all her luggage. She was looking around her home one last time, knowing her ride would be there in just a few minutes. "This is it, this is goodbye," she said out loud. She was sad to be leaving. While she was happy about the opportunity, it wasn't what she truly wanted. She didn't care about going to America to make a movie, there were plenty of opportunities for her in Japan. The reason she was really leaving was because of her feelings for a certain blue-haired boy. Feelings that she didn't feel would ever be reciprocated, and that hurt her more than anything. Her hope was if she moved away, maybe she wouldn't hurt as much knowing the boy she loved was halfway across the world. It was a long shot, but it was her only idea at this point. She didn't want to leave, but she felt like she had no other choice.
She picked up a framed photo from a side table of her and Nagisa from back in class 3-E, a photo that she had cherished, but now only brought her hurt. "I'll miss you Nagisa. I guess it wasn't meant to be," Kayano whispered as she gave a final kiss to the photo.
It was then she heard her doorbell ring, followed by intense knocking. She jumped, turning towards the door, yelling, "Hold on, I'm coming." She laid the photo face down back on the table and walked to the door, a sad face showing her reluctance to leave. When she opened the door, she expected her driver to be standing there. Instead, she locked eyes with a soaking wet man with blue hair & blue eyes. "Nagisa!?"
Nagisa looked at her, his hair half covering his eyes, dripping water down his face & hair. 'She's still here,' he thought, relieved she hadn't left for her flight yet.
She was happy to see him, she was always happy to see him, but she was also nervous because this isn't something Nagisa was accustomed to doing. Her thoughts were only made more confused when Nagisa held up a crumpled piece of wet paper. Finally, Kayano had mustered enough to finally speak. "Nagisa what are you doing here?"
Still holding the paper, Nagisa looked deep into her hazel eyes. "Something I should have done 6 years ago." As Nagisa let go of the paper, he brought both his hands to Kayano's face, softly grabbing her cheeks & her chin, and kissed her. Deeply.
Kayano was taken aback, stunned by what Nagisa had just done. 'He… He's kissing me. On my lips.' Kayano couldn't believe it. Nagisa was kissing her, but this time, it felt different. It wasn't like back in E-class when he had kissed her to try to subdue her, 'It feels like he is doing so… out of love!' Kayano realized as Nagisa licked her lips asking for entry. At his request, she wrapped her arms around Nagisa's neck, bringing him closer to her, opened her lips, and returned a passionate kiss tenfold.
After a long kiss, the two separated with only a thin strand of saliva connecting their mouths as they both gasped for air. Kayano looked deep into Nagisa's eyes, seeing a look of sadness on his face. "Nagisa?"
"I found your note," Nagisa responded, receiving a gasp from Kayano. "I didn't know anyone could ever feel that way about me, especially you. The truth is, I fell in love with you the day I first met you. I was just so afraid to tell you because I didn't want to lose you as a friend, I almost ended up losing you forever. I'm so sorry, I hope I'm not too late. Do you still love me?"
Kayano couldn't believe what she was hearing. The boy she has been in love with all these years felt the same way about her. While she was disappointed Nagisa never read her note until now, she was also happy that he wasn't rejecting her after all these years like she had thought. Kayano cupped Nagisa's cheek with her right hand, tears of joy in her eyes, "I never stopped." Nagisa's mouth opened, but before he could speak, Kayano continued, "I will always love you Nagisa."
Hearing those words, Nagisa also started to cry tears of joy, bringing her into a warm, comforting hug, which Kayano reciprocated. They stood like that for a few moments before they were unfortunately interrupted.
"Miss Mase." They both turned to see a man in a tuxedo holding an umbrella. It was one of her managers assistants, "I'm here to pick you up to bring you to the airport," he stated.
It was this moment where Nagisa could feel his world shattering once again. A look of disappointment came across his face, knowing that even though he finally admitted his feelings to Kayano, he was too late. She was leaving for America, possibly forever. He looked back at her, caressing her face once again. "I'm gonna miss you, so much," Nagisa choked out, tears in his eyes before giving Kayano a final goodbye hug.
As Nagisa released Kayano from her hug, he was puzzled by the smile on her face, "What are you talking about Nagisa?" Kayano asked. "I'm not going anywhere."
Nagisa's eyes grew wide, shocked by what he just heard.
Kayano turned towards the assistant, "You can tell Mr. Matsuoka I'm turning down the offer for America. I'm staying here in Japan."
Before the assistant could answer, Nagisa interjected, "What are you talking about Kayano? I thought you were excited for this?"
"I never cared or even wanted to go," Kayano expressed softly with tears rolling down her cheeks. "The only reason I was going to go was because I would hope being far away from you would help me get over the fact that you didn't love me." Kayano grabbed both of Nagisa's hands and brought them up to her chin, "But now that I know you do love me, I want to stay here with you for the rest of my life."
Still shocked, Nagisa began to hold back tears as he smiled and pressed his forehead against Kayano's. "Thank you, but still, I feel like I'm taking away a huge opportunity from you," Nagisa worried.
Before Kayano could answer, the third person standing there spoke up, "I know it's not my place to say, but if I may?" Before continuing, he waited for both Nagisa & Kayano to acknowledge him, "I believe fame and popularity are overrated. I think it is wise and honorable to choose happiness and love. Afterall, without love and happiness, what's the point of everything else?"
Kayano and Nagisa looked at each other, smiles forming on both of their faces. It was then that both were confident in the decisions they had made. "Thank you," Nagisa uttered as he turned his head towards the assistant. The assistant gave a quick bow before turning and walking back towards the car to call his boss about the situation.
Nagisa and Kayano, still holding each other close, turned and walked back into the house. Closing the door, Nagisa leaned into Kayano and wondered, "What now?"
Kayano turned to look him straight in his eyes. Those same azure eyes that she had fallen in love with all those years ago, she purred, "Now, we make up for the 6 long years we missed." With one more kiss, they began the first chapter of the rest of their lives together.