Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide
Luka
There's been a sense of unease hanging over us for the last few hours.
Fawkes came up with the idea of cutting off Gus and Hephaestion's food and water supply for a day or two. Not long enough to kill either of them, just long enough to put worries in their heads and drive a wedge between them. I wasn't a big fan of the idea but I was desperate to separate my grandson from that filthy rebel so I'd agreed to it.
Surprisingly, Tarquin agreed to it as well.
The idea had worked, at first. The lack of food and water had caused Hephaestion to be overwhelmed by anxiety and give away that he was Jack Frost. We'd sent Gus a glass of ice as a signal and he'd understood. He'd had his spear at Jack Frost's throat.
Then Hephaestion had started babbling and Gus had got cold feet about killing him. Hephaestion had explained why he'd killed his foster parents. It'd been quite a sob story. That'd been enough to make Gus put down his spear and comfort the boy. Soon they'd been kissing again like nothing had changed between them.
Now my grandson lies asleep in a rebel's arms and I want Hephaestion gone. I want him dead. I want him to keep his filthy murdering hands off Gus.
I feel like I'm partly responsible for letting this happen. I know I didn't raise Gus, my daughter and her husband did, but we still spent a lot of time together. He still looked up to me and took my advice. I should've asked him if he was lonely. I should've given him some advice, some reassurance. But instead I'd just assumed he'd find his own way.
Romance had always been so simple for me. I'd had no interest in girls until I was sixteen. Then I met the love of my life and there was never any doubt. I'd always assumed that it would be the same for my kids and grandkids, that they would always be certain, that they would never need any help.
But Gus needed help. He needed to know not to fall for one of his opponents. He needed to know not to fall for a rebel.
Fawkes clears his throat. He's told me that he thinks Hephaestion was telling the truth about his past. "He's a liar but he's not a good one," he'd said. "I can tell he just can't lie anymore."
"So," Fawkes says. "I have a new plan. Since exposing Hephaestion as Jack Frost wasn't enough to split up him and Guston, we're going to have to scare them into splitting up. I think Hephaestion is the easier target."
Manel and I both exchange glances. I can see the guilt in his eyes. He clearly doesn't feel good about tormenting this kid who went through so much abuse in the past. I don't feel good either. I want Hephaestion dead, as soon as possible, but psychologically torturing a boy who was hurt so much is crossing some sort of line.
I don't think Hephaestion deserved the ordeal he went through in District 2. If I'd been in charge, I would've had him and Iolaus executed for their mother's rebellion. They were children and they were seemingly innocent but killing them seems like a much kinder fate than forcing them to live the rest of their lives as pariahs, vulnerable to abuse and protected by nobody.
But I can't speak up. I can see that this is the best way to save my grandson from that boy.
Manel doesn't care as much about Gus. He speaks up.
"Fawkes, are you sure we're doing the right thing? Hephaestion was abused. He's traumatised! And you're just planning to mess with his head even more."
A dark look creeps into Fawkes' eyes. "The Careers I… broke in both my games… they were traumatised. And I broke them anyway. To survive. How is Hephaestion any different?"
"Your life doesn't depend on this," Manel says. He strokes a hand down Fawkes' back."You're not in the games anymore, Fawkes."
"You're just telling me that to reassure me, aren't you? We both know my games never ended." He sighs, looking exhausted. "Here's why I think I'm doing the right thing. Because Régine, as misguided as she was, was right about the Careers. They do abuse their children. Régine just made the mistake of making it political. She made a lot of noise and didn't really change anything. 'Careers are evil, the Capitol is evil,' she said. The outliers heard. They reacted. But they couldn't change anything because they weren't there, in the Career districts. The Careers didn't care. They don't care who calls them evil, especially not if it's a rebel girl who let a Three seduce and kill her, so they never stopped abusing their children. Do you know what the Careers care about?"
"Winning?" I ask.
"Exactly," Fawkes says. "So what do they do when their strongest tributes get into the arena and… certain outliers know exactly how to pick them apart, when their strongest trainees snap and turn on their own parents? What do they do when they stop winning? They take a look at themselves and they think 'Wait a minute, maybe abusing my children and forcing them to live with trauma for years isn't going to make them better at the Hunger Games. Maybe I should stop.'. And then they stop. So I'm going to exploit every one of Hephaestion's weaknesses and I'm going to make District 2 watch and know that they made him weak. I'm going to hurt one boy who's probably going to be dead in a week anyway and maybe it'll be enough to protect countless kids."
I smile. "That's what the games are for, right? Punishing two people from each district so the rest will be safe."
Fawkes nods.
"That's smart, kid," I say. I've been experienced with the Hunger Games for sixty-two years. I've been around longer than the Careers. I never realised how vulnerable most Career kids were until today. I wonder when Fawkes figured it out. Training? On the train? The first time he stepped onto the reaping stage?
He must've done it before his first games. He's one of the 'certain outliers' he was talking about, the ones so skilled at messing with Career heads.
"Okay," Fawkes says. "What do you think is Hephaestion's worst fear?"
"Being crushed," I say, thinking of the dungeons of my own arena. "Or trapped underground."
"Explosions," Manel says.
"Hurting Gus," Fawkes says.
A silence falls over us. We can all tell we've found something.
"Isn't… what he's doing with Gus right now hurting Gus?" I ask.
"Exactly," Fawkes says. "Now the question is, what is the scariest thing we can do to remind him of that?"
He grabs his notebook, tilts it up on his legs and starts to draw.
"Hold on," I say. "What if we scare him too much? What if he snaps and kills Gus, like the Careers in your first games?"
"I don't think he'll do that," Fawkes says. "Hephaestion didn't even raise his sword when Gus had a spear at his throat. If he's killing anyone, he's killing himself. I think Hephaestion loves Gus. Or, at least, the idea of him. When you hate yourself that much and you see someone else as so perfect… you'd do anything for them, even if that means hurting yourself."
A hint of sadness creeps into his voice. Manel reaches across to squeeze his shoulder.
"You okay?" I ask. I realise that I haven't had to ask if Fawkes was okay all day. Today, he has been cold, ruthless and completely unflappable. There's no sign of the sweet, polite boy I'd met on his victory tour. I realise that this is Fawkes in survival mode. This is how he was when he won the Quell.
"Yeah," Fawkes says. He doesn't look up from his notepad. "I've been there in the past. Not today, though. Today, I've decided I'm going to be kind to myself, because I've been good. Or maybe I've been bad but… the right kind of bad, you know?"
Manel laughs. "I know."
Fawkes laughs and rests his head on Manel's shoulder.
"Do you like my drawing, honey?" he asks.
"It's beautiful," Manel says.
"What if we sent it to Hephaestion?" Fawkes turns the pad around to show me. I recognise the drawing instantly.
It's Katniss Everdeen's mockingjay pin. A symbol of the rebellion, a reminder of the most troublesome arena romance. Its wings are perfectly drawn but it's head is a scribbled skull.
"It's perfect," I say. "When Hephaestion sees this…"
"He'll see what he's turning into," Fawkes finishes. "The next Katniss Everdeen. It'll terrify him out of his mind."
"How do we send it to him?" I ask. "Katniss Everdeen's pin isn't on the sponsor list."
"Neither was Gus' love note to Hephaestion," Fawkes says. "I'm going to get in touch with the gamemakers, see if I can talk them into sending Hephaestion a free gift. I'm sure they'll agree to it if it furthers their agenda. I don't know if they can get hold of the original pin, since it's Primrose Everdeen's district token, but it was a fashion craze. I'm sure they'll be able to get hold of a replica and it'll work just as well."
He reaches for my communicuff, dials a number and asks if he can speak to Plutarch Heavensbee. Then he explains the plan. At various points throughout the call, he smiles and gives me and Manel a thumbs up. Then he thanks Plutarch and hangs up.
"The moment Hephaestion's awake, they'll send him the pin," Fawkes says.
"Wow," Manel says.
"What?" Fawkes asks.
"I never thought you'd need to use that number."
"How did you even get a gamemaker's number?" I ask.
"He made a deal with the devil," Manel says.
"Be polite, Manel," Fawkes says. "You're insulting a member of Luka's family."
Suddenly, it makes sense. I do have family in District 10, family that doesn't live far from Victor's Village. Family who still has connections with the gamemakers.
Family who I know Manel hates.
"Io?" I ask.
Fawkes nods.
"It's okay," I say. "I was never very fond of my sister-in-law."
Manel and I exchange knowing glances.
The conversation falls silent as we wait for Hephaestion to wake up. There's nothing more we can do until he's awake. Fawkes has returned to his notebook but instead of writing about the games, he's drawing pictures of birds. Manel watches him draw.
I have a weird feeling about Fawkes. He's a smart kid. I've known that since his first games. But ever since the Victory Tour Attack, I wasn't sure if he was in the right mental state to mentor. He just seemed so fragile, so vulnerable, unable to handle the games in more than small doses. But now I get the feeling that Fawkes has always been ten steps ahead. Maybe this is how he feels he has to be, in his rare moments of stability. Ten steps ahead to outrun the trauma.
"Fawkes," I ask. "Were you scared of coming out to your grandparents?"
"Yes," Fawkes says.
"Really?" Manel asks.
"They were all dead. Imagine coming out to undead grandparents. I probably wouldn't have been if they were alive. I don't know. I never knew them and my parents didn't really talk about them."
"Do you think Gus was scared?" I ask. "He never told me he liked boys."
I wish he'd told me. I wish I'd known. Then I would've noticed he was getting too close to Hephaestion. Then I would've warned him.
"I don't think you did anything to scare him, Luka," Fawkes says. "I think he didn't tell you because he didn't know. I think he only figured out he liked boys recently. He clearly never had any crushes in Five otherwise he wouldn't be desperate enough to fall for Hephaestion. If he had someone at school he wanted to get back to, he wouldn't be doing this."
He returns to his drawing.
"The girls have found someone," Manel says.
For a moment, I'm confused. Then I realise he's looking at Beta's screen. It's been left unattended again is Beta is taking a nap and Tesoro is still missing in action. I doubt Beta will wake up to see us spying on her tribute. The only person who'd have a reason to wake her up is Cashmere, the mentor of Tornada's ally, and she's clearly defected to our side.
On the screen, Tornada has tackled a victim to the ground and is threatening them with a knife.
"We should leave," Manel says.
"No," Fawkes says. His eyes are wide. There's a slight tremor in his voice. "It's Mitch. I want to see how this goes."
"Really?" Manel asks.
"The two girls who are out to get Gus and Hephaestion have just found the one guy who knows about Gus' feelings for Hephaestion. Don't you think this could be interesting?"
He reaches for Beta's headphones but Manel grabs them first.
"I'm going to listen to them. I'll write down what I hear."
Tsarina turns her head and yells. Manel starts writing in Fawkes' notebook. He's a pretty fast writer. His handwriting is messy but legible.
TY: Ada, get over here! We've got another one!
Ada - Tornada - appears on the screen and crouches beside her ally. I expect to see a sad look in her eye, fear or guilt that she's about to torture another boy to death.
Instead I see something else. Excitement.
MF: Good evening, ladies. I've been looking for you.
The girls both start laughing.
TY: Oh… I get it. You're suicidal. That's why you volunteered.
Mitch frowns.
MF: If I were suicidal, I would've jumped on the mines like my district partner.
TC: Oh… so you're into pain. Lucky you. Tsarina loves inflicting pain.
Tsarina's knife inches closer to Mitch's face. I feel my stomach turn at the sight of a smile on Tornada's face. There's no sign of the girl from the interview who'd wanted to protect her sister, the girl that part of me was rooting for.
MF: Actually no. You two are my ideal allies.
There's more laughter.
"Here we go," Fawkes whispers.
TY: You're as stupid as you are weak, Eight.
MF: I have a plan that will destroy Guston and Hef
Manel tries to write Hephaestion's name, realises he can't spell it, crosses it out and just writes H. He mutters something about stupid Twos and their long names.
Meanwhile, Tsarina seems to relax a little.
MF: You're after those two, right? Well, so am I.
The two girls exchange glances.
TC: I say we let him join the alliance.
TY: What?
TC: We could use the numbers. The boys know there are two of us. But if Eight joins the alliance, they won't know about him. They'll never expect us to take on a cannon fodder.
Tsarina grins wickedly.
TY: Okay, you can stay, Eight. But only if you help us kill Guston and H.
MF: Okay.
Tsarina climbs off Mitch's body and he reaches for a pouch hanging from his belt.
MF: Yesterday, Lumas sent me this. It's a love note from Guston to H.
He hands the note to Tsarina.
TC: It's real.
TY: How do you know?
TC: Because he asked me to deliver it to H the last night before the games. I didn't. I left it beside Minaret's bed. I'm not sure how Lumas got his hands on it.
"Either Minaret, one of the mentors or an avox must've handed the note in to the gamemakers," Fawkes says, quietly.
TY: You helped Minnie?
TC: I set Minnie up to fight Guston and H. That's probably why she died in the bloodbath. I knew at least one of the three would end up dead. Anyway, Guston was making puppy eyes at H all training. When he left the Ca-Elites, they both disappeared off to the boys' bathroom for a while and he came out looking like he'd been crying. It was honestly so pathetic!
MF: So it's true! Guston Starkwain really is in love with H. What a moron! My plan will work perfectly.
TY: What's the plan, Eight?
MF: First I'll build a trap for the boys, one that'll stop them putting up a fight. Then Tornada will find the boys. She'll act scared, like Tsarina was holding her hostage. Guston will trust her. She'll lead the boys into our trap. Then we'll tie them up. Torture H first.
Manel inhales sharply. His left hand clenches into a fist. Finally, he manages to write out the last few words.
Make Guston watch.
There's a plan as the girls listen to the plans and both give nods of approval. Mitch says something else but Manel puts the pen down and takes off his headphones.
"I can't take any more of that," he says. His voice is surprisingly tight.
"What's wrong?" Fawkes asks.
"He said he wanted it to be like the Victory Tour Attack," Manel says. "If…"
"If what?"
"If the rebels had done a better job tying me up."
He starts crying. Suddenly, I realise why he's so shaken. He sees a piece of the rebels who'd kidnapped and tortured his boyfriend in those three tributes. I can tell he thought he'd destroyed the Coyotes forever. He'd killed all seven of them. But their ideas and their hatred live on in those three tributes, all from different districts. One of them's from Five, my district. She's a disgrace to Five.
And now they've set their sights on my grandson.
I suddenly realise I'm on my feet. I'm pacing. My fists are clenched. I want to hurt them. I want to hurt every tribute who stands between my grandson and victory. Especially those three rebels.
Especially Tornada Crossway, the traitor.
"This could be a good thing," Fawkes says.
I whirl around to look at him, wondering if I'd imagined what he'd just said. He ought to hate torture more than any other mentor here. Fawkes has his arms around Manel but he's looking at me. At first glance, he seems surprisingly calm for a man who's just discovered that three people are trying to emulate the group who'd kidnapped and tortured him. Then I notice the manic light in his eyes. He is very much in survival mode. He's trying to think of a way out.
"I've been wondering why the gamemakers kept Mitch around, why they sent him the note to help him," Fawkes says. "He's their villain. They're creating a narrative for Gus and they're going to use Mitch to further it. Which means he's useful to us as well."
"How?" I ask.
Fawkes returns to his chair, turns to a free page in his notebook and hunches over it, writing like he's possessed by something.
"I've been wondering ever since Gus stared kissing Hephaestion how Hephaestion was going to die. That's the important thing, how he dies."
Fawkes shows me the notebook. The words WHAT KILLS HEPHAESTION? are scrawled across the centre of the page.
"So that's how you spell it," Manel whispers.
"We had four options," Fawkes says. "Let's call them Options One, Three, Four and Five. We'll skip Two for now. It'll come back later."
He draws four lines out from the centre of the page and numbers them all.
"Option One is Gus kills Hephaestion. This is probably our best case scenario. Gus gets to be a hero for killing Jack Frost. Also, he does the opposite of what Katniss and Peeta did. He'll be choosing his duty to the Capitol over his first love."
Fawkes writes Gus next to the number 1 and draws a smiling face next to it. Then he hesitates and adds a tear to the smiley face's eye.
"Now let's look at Option Five, which is Nothing."
He writes down Nothing and a sad face next to the number five.
"Nothing kills Hephaestion?" I ask.
"Nothing kills Hephaestion. He wins the games, therefore Gus must've died at some point." Fawkes says. "It's possible but unlikely. Now let's look at Option Three, Hephaestion."
He adds Hephaestion's name to the diagram but hesitates before he adds a face. Eventually he settles for a squiggly line as a mouth. Confused.
"If Hephaestion kills himself, it could go either way," Fawkes says. "On one hand, the gamemakers might be able to portray him as some sort of unstable rebel. That could work. But if he explicitly does it to help Gus, if they're in the final two, for example, that could be an issue. It could give the rebels something to latch onto."
"What about Option Four?" I ask.
"Other," Fawkes says, adding Other and a sad face to the graph. "That includes other tributes and arena hazards. If this happens then Hephaestion likely dies before Gus is ready to let him go. They become another pair of star-crossed lovers torn apart by cruel fate. Except it's not cruel fate, it's the cruel Capitol. If the gamemakers kill Hephaestion with a hazard, it's obviously the Capitol's fault. That's why they haven't done it and probably never will. But the other tributes won't know the implications of killing Hephaestion. They could do it. After all, it's the point of the games, the duty that the Capitol gave them. Therefore it's the Capitol's fault. Either way, the rebels have ammunition."
"What about those three?" I gesture to Beta's screen. "They're not doing the Capitol's duty."
"Exactly," Fawkes says. "When those three, miscreants declared their rebellious intentions, they gave us Option Two, Rebels."
He draws the fifth line in the page and labels it.
"If the rebels kill Hephaestion then… It's their fault. They are the villains. Nobody will blame the Capitol for ruining Hephaestion's relationship with Gus. Everyone will blame the rebels. Maybe Gus will even get his righteous revenge on them. Catastrophe will be averted. Well… averted for everyone apart from Hephaestion."
He draws another smily face with a tear in its eye next to Option Two. Then he adds Sorry, Hephaestion.
"So now we have two options?" I ask. "Potentially three if Hephaestion kills himself before the final two."
"They're all terrible," Manel blurts out. "Gus is going to be so upset."
"He is," Fawkes says. "But being upset beats being dead. This is just how it works. I hate myself for seeing how it works but… I do. I see it."
He wipes a tear from his eye and hugs his arms close to his chest, trying to hold himself together. Today seems to be taking its toll on him. I suppose all this scheming must be very draining for Fawkes. Ever since he returned from his room, he's just been coming up with ideas, trying to forget that the tributes he's pushing around like pawns on a chessboard are human.
But I need to get one more idea out of him.
"How do we make sure the rebels get Hephaestion but not Gus?" I ask.
"First we need to split them up," Fawkes says. "We're already working on that. Then we need to send Gus a signal that Tornada can't be trusted. What's the first object you associate with district traitors?"
"An Emerald," I say. "For Emerald Kiesler, the first ever district traitor." I hesitate. "I'm showing my age, aren't I? Nobody sees him as a traitor nowadays."
"What's the first object you think Gus would associate with district traitors?"
I hesitate. The answer is obvious but I'm not sure how to phrase it.
"No offence…" I say. "But it would be something to remind him of you."
"None taken," Fawkes says with a sad smile. "I knew it'd be me. I betrayed District 3 twice."
"You killed a hacker and a rebel," I say. "You did Three a favour. One day, they'll realise that."
"I hope so," Fawkes says "Next time you send Gus food, send cutlery as well. But instead of a knife and a fork, send three forks."
"Three forks," I say. "Is that because of District 3?"
"Yeah," Fawkes says. "District 3."
He sighs and slumps back in his chair, eyes glazing over. I can tell he's exhausted. Whatever source of manic energy he's been drawing from today is gone.
"Let's not talk about District 3," Manel says.
Fawkes doesn't even answer. I realise there's another reason why he chose the number three besides it being the district he betrayed. He's always going to associate District 3 with the rebels who tortured him. Maybe he thinks Gus will see the number three as a warning that there are similar rebels in the arena.
Manel seems to notice that Fawkes has zoned out and stands up.
"I think we're going to take a break," he says.
"Okay," I say. "You two take all the time you need. You've been really helpful."
Manel guides Fawkes over to the sofa. Soon, they're curled up together, whispering to each other. I can tell they're not talking about the games or anything important.
For a moment, I envy them. I can't switch off like they do. I don't have the luxury of taking breaks from the games. I miss my family as well. I haven't been able to call them. I've been so focused on Gus. I wish I could talk to Sotope but she's asleep.
Then I take a breath and return to watching the screen and waiting for Hephaestion to wake up.
I feel so evil for giving this chapter this title. What kills Hephaestion? Nothing… yet. As if I'd kill Hephaestion off in a non-Gus POV chapter.
Luka and the other mentors are now faced with a bit of a dilemma. Hephaestion isn't going to directly kill Gus but the fact that they're in an arena romance is still putting Gus - and Panem itself - in danger (also, Luka just doesn't approve of his grandson dating a murderer, but that's a him problem). How much are they willing to hurt Hephaestion to protect Gus? And also, possibly, to make the Careers realise that abusing their kids doesn't get them good results?
Then there's the new development of a rebel alliance forming - and targeting Gus and Hephaestion. Luka and Co. are disgusted by this alliance but they're also a rather… convenient way to get Hephaestion out of the picture without causing a political crisis. The only issue is that Gus is also a target and he still trusts Tornada. Will sending him a warning work?
Also, Fawkes is in full evil genius mode this chapter. Unlike Luka, he has nothing personal against Hephaestion. He's just willing to sacrifice Hephaestion for the greater good.