A/N: An encounter in the corridor of Netherfield on the last night of the Bennet sisters' stay does not go exactly to plan.
Wade
"Are you certain of this course, Miss Bingley?"
Caroline Bingley startled and nearly dropped her candle at the unexpected and unwelcome sound coming from down the corridor.
She turned away from the door she was about to enter, and watched anxiously as the bane of her existence, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, walked into the circle of candlelight. Why Miss Eliza was wandering around the corridors in the dark was anybody's guess, but not particularly relevant.
Unable to answer, Caroline just watched until her nemesis stopped a few paces away.
Elizabeth said, "Whether this is a tryst or a compromise attempt, are you quite certain you want to carry forward?"
Finally able to speak, Caroline replied in something between a hiss and a whisper. "What business is it of yours?"
"None at all," Elizabeth whispered in reply. "What happens between you and Mr Darcy is a matter of supreme indifference to me. If you have an understanding and are anticipating your vows, or you simply wish to bed each other; it is not my business. That said, if this were a compromise, I would very much appreciate you waiting until Jane and I leave. We would not want our reputations damaged by your actions. Your brother will return us to Longbourn tomorrow, and you may subsequently make any arrangements with any gentleman you see fit."
Caroline whispered stridently, "How dare you accuse me of untoward behaviour?"
Elizabeth replied, though still in a calm and collected whisper, apparently cognisant of their entirely disadvantageous location.
"I have done no such thing. I make no accusations or assertions whatsoever, as your actions will have no effect on me. As I previously stated, you and Mr Darcy's relationship is none of my business. You cannot, however, deny you are about to enter a gentleman's room in the middle of the night. I simply ask you to think through what you are about; and ensure the Bennets are gone before you do whatever it is you are planning."
Caroline looked murderous. "Have I your word you will not speak of this?"
"As I said, what happens between you and Mr Darcy is irrelevant to me. I will not lie, but I will also not voluntarily disclose it. I have no desire to expose myself any more than absolutely necessary."
With a snort of disgust, Caroline turned around and walked back toward her room while Elizabeth turned and walked to hers, wishing she had brought a candle when she came out to look in on Jane… or better yet, not come out at all.
Elizabeth stepped into her bedchamber, relieved beyond belief to be done with Miss Bingley and Mr Darcy, at least for the night. She may have felt some pangs of conscience about agreeing not to warn the gentleman, but with more than a decade of single status behind him, she doubted he was unprotected anyway. She found it extremely unlikely that Miss Bingley would have her way. Compromises were a dangerous game, where the men held all the best cards. Elizabeth certainly would not dare to attempt one… especially when the best possible outcome would be a lifetime chained to the most taciturn man of her acquaintance (except her father, of course).
She was grumbling at herself for looking in on Jane without a candle, but it had been a three-quarter moon, so it was easy enough to do the job without all the fuss and bother… or at least it had seemed that way a quarter hour earlier.
As she closed her door, she let out a startled scream when she felt something small bump into her legs. She had barely stifled the noise when she noticed the creature actually meant no harm and was in fact rubbing its head against her legs in quite a friendly manner.
Squatting down to meet her newest friend, she confirmed that it was in fact a dog, and cooed gently, "Well, good evening to you, my friend. What are you doing here? Do you have a name, or an owner perchance?"
She obviously did not expect an answer, so she let out a slightly more startled squeak when she heard a whisper from the dark corner of the room. "Her name is Maddie. The usual conventions would have it that I am her owner, but the converse could just as easily be true."
Elizabeth hoped nobody had heard either of her startled screams, but since Miss Bingley had conveniently placed her in the remotest bedchamber in Netherfield short of the servant's attics, she judged herself safe enough to reply.
"Mr Darcy, you should not be here!"
She stared into the darkness and saw her antagonist walk across the moonlit room to light a candle from the mostly banked fire before answering.
"My apologies, Miss Elizabeth. Maddie is very good at tracking, and she escaped to the servant's stairs to search you out. I hope you are not too cross with us."
Elizabeth looked down to see Maddie, who appeared to be an ancient beagle, looking up with her tongue hanging out.
She had stood up abruptly when she heard the gentleman's unwelcome voice, but decided propriety had been dead and buried the entire last hour, so she squatted back down.
Maddie leaned into her and gave her a vicious tongue-bath on the cheek, which made Elizabeth laugh and scratch the dog's ears.
"Who could disapprove of such a lovely girl? I must say, if I had tried to guess what type of dog you kept, I would not have come even vaguely close to the mark."
"I suppose you would expect a Rottweiler or hunting hound?"
"I suppose so, though to be honest I cannot imagine any scenario where I would have given it any thought whatsoever."
Darcy was still standing near the fireplace but moved a bit closer to place the candle on a table. "I suppose you would have found my choice of canine companionship a matter of supreme indifference?" he said in what might just be a teasing manner.
Not one to be intimidated, Elizabeth replied, "Of course! I suppose from your words that you overheard the whispered conversation outside your door. That said, you really should not be here, sir."
Darcy looked at her intently enough to make her fidget, which in turn made Maddie fidget with her, so she tried her best to calm down and scratch the dog between the ears again until she quieted.
"I agree I should not be here, but I am hoping you will indulge me with a few minutes of honest conversation."
"For what purpose?"
"To clear a few things up. While I have as much unease as you do with my presence, I know this room is particularly isolated. So long as you lock that door and I leave expeditiously, nobody will be the wiser. Your sister is the only one even in the same area, and I trust her discretion."
The assertion that he trusted Jane startled Elizabeth, but she did not want to dwell on it when there were more important issues at hand.
"Perhaps… but you have already put my reputation at risk, with no corresponding risk to yours, since men can get away with anything. At the moment, I am the only one taking any chances."
"To the contrary—if my presence is discovered, I will certainly do the honourable thing without qualms. I may not be the ideal candidate in your mind right now, but I believe I could grow on you. It would also immediately solve all of your family's security problems. You are taking some risk, but there is potential reward as well."
Elizabeth wondered if he could possibly get any more confusing but had to admit he had piqued her curiosity. "This is highly irregular, and it seems thoroughly out of character, but I have taken an instant liking to Maddie, so I will give you five minutes."
She stood up awkwardly and gestured Darcy toward the room's lone chair, idly thinking about the fact that Miss Bingley could not decide between showing off her wealth and status; and putting the Bennet sisters in their place. Jane was in a very nicely appointed room while Elizabeth was in something more akin to a closet a few doors away.
She walked over to the bed with Maddie at her heels. The bed was uncomfortably tall, so when Maddie tried to jump up and failed, Elizabeth reached down to lift the poor creature up.
She soon had herself on the bed with her feet dangling a foot above the floor and the creature's head on her lap, purring almost like a cat.
"It would appear Maddie has some years on her. Speaking of that, Maddie is quite an unusual name for a dog."
Darcy chuckled. "You have an unmarried man in your bedchamber in the middle of the night and want to discuss his dog?"
"Or course! To be honest, Maddie is the first element of our acquaintance I find the slightest bit interesting," she said with a smile that could have indicated teasing or could just as well have indicated a desire to reduce the sting of a hard truth.
Darcy chuckled while looking confused, but gamely continued. "Maddie just turned fifteen last month, so you are correct. She does not have a lot of years in front of her. She is presently the oldest dog I know."
Elizabeth just scratched her nose a few more times, and leaned down so Maddie could give her a few more licks for good measure.
"As to the name… there is a story behind it. Fifteen years ago, I was an ordinary thirteen-year-old lunkhead. My sister was one year old, and my mother had just died the month before, when I found an abandoned puppy. I imagine she was the runt of the litter and her mother had to abandon her. I decided to keep her, so the kennel master and his wife very kindly helped me feed and care for her."
"That was very kind of you."
"Not really. I was feeling sad and lonely and just wanted someone to play with. I was a rather unsocial young man who knew nothing about anything, but I did love that puppy. She was a good-looking dog, so in my ignorant naiveté, I named her after the most handsome woman of my acquaintance. She was the parson's daughter, beautiful and kind, and I think it was considered a rite of passage in our parts for all boys to fall madly in cow-love with Miss Madeline Lewis."
Elizabeth burst into laughter and could not stop for a moment, which in turn caused Maddie to jump up on the bed in either agitation or excitement and lick her a few more times while wagging her tail furiously. Each time Elizabeth came close to controlling her laughter, Maddie would lick her or bump her side a couple times and start the whole train all over again. In the end, even Darcy joined with a chuckle, though he had no idea what was so funny.
She finally got herself under moderate regulation. "I apologise, Mr Darcy. I was not making fun of your cow-love as you call it, and I would never disparage your love for such a fine creature as Maddie. It is just…"
She giggled a few times more.
"Just what?" Darcy said in some amusement.
Elizabeth settled down a bit, and Maddie, seemingly exhausted by the frivolity, laid down with her head on Elizabeth's lap.
"This will seem an incongruous question, but I shall ask anyway. Have you ever noticed any differences in deportment, between the Bennet sisters?"
Darcy frowned slightly. "You and Miss Bennet are exemplary ladies. I am especially impressed with how you handle Miss Bingley's overt hostility."
"Only hers?"
He scrunched his forehead in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"We shall return to it. Pray, continue."
Darcy shrugged, wondering what they would return to and when, but then gamely tried his best to politely answer her question. "Your three younger sisters and your mother are …"
"You can say it… they are less well mannered… considerably less."
Darcy nodded, happy to have escaped saying that they were practically feral as far as he could tell.
"My mother, for whatever her faults, had five live children in eight years in a desperate attempt to birth a son to inherit Longbourn. That is one every two years like clockwork. Can you imagine it?"
"I cannot. Darcys usually have small families. I was an only child until I was twelve, and my sister's birth essentially killed my mother. We have not had more than three children in four generations."
"Now imagine the early years… a young mother with children of four, two and new-born… or the more challenging ten, eight, six, four, and three. My uncle in Cheapside, who must very materially lessen our chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world …"
Darcy gasped and stared, thinking that might be the genesis of her antipathy, though it did not really seem sufficient.
Elizabeth appeared to misinterpret his countenance and frowned in response. "Do not go hunting for servants to chastise. I overheard that little gem myself when I had to come back for my reticule on my way to Jane's bedchamber."
"I must apologise for those words," Darcy said in genuine contrition, and more than a little chagrin.
"Why? They are entirely true, and it is hardly the worst thing you said about me or my family—but perhaps we may return to my laughter, so you can say what you want to say, and we can return to our ordinary lives."
Darcy nodded, even more contritely.
"My mother's younger brother married when I was six. They live in town, so when Jane and I were young, we went to stay with them for months at a time, for several years until she started having her own children. My aunt taught us deportment and accomplishments, among other things. We are ladylike because we were educated by our Aunt Madeline Gardiner née Lewis," she said with a smug smile of satisfaction.
Darcy gasped and his eyebrows rose in shock.
Elizabeth appeared to enjoy his surprise for a few moments. "Now you understand what I found so blisteringly funny. You could make a case that at least some of my manners came from your father's own vicar."
Darcy smiled. "That is astonishing. I would hope you will reintroduce us when next we are in town."
Elizabeth seemed startled at the idea, but finally stammered, "It would be my pleasure."
Darcy nodded but did not quite know how to broach the next subject.
While he was mulling it over, Elizabeth asked, "Does Maddie travel with you?"
"Always! We walk a couple times a day. My valet is getting on in years as well, but he would rather work than be pensioned, so he spends a good part of his day reading in my sitting room with Maddie for company."
"That is unusually kind of you."
"Does it surprise you?"
"It does," she said unapologetically.
Darcy frowned, finally starting to put together the puzzle pieces of his acquaintance with Miss Elizabeth, and not especially liking the picture that was forming. He thought he had some work to do.
He gently asked, "I suppose I probably deserve that. It is in accord with your stated supreme indifference to my fate."
Elizabeth looked chagrined at the reminder. "I suppose that was unkind on my part, but I wanted to ensure Miss Bingley stopped her plan, at least while we were in the house. May I ask how you overheard us?"
"Maddie sleeps at the foot of my bed. She went to Eaton and Cambridge with me, and Netherfield is no different. She still has excellent senses of hearing and smell, so she alerted me to the noise at the door. I have a listening device my cousin got from the war office. I assume you have used a glass against the wall to hear a conversation inside. This device operates on the same principle, but better. I heard the entire conversation."
Elizabeth laughed gaily. "I suppose I cannot chastise you for eavesdropping when all you did was listen to a conversation about you, right outside your door. I hope you were not too distressed."
"I was not but Maddie was… half-distressed and half-excited, but I suppose that will require some explanation."
"I am all ears, and I suppose I can relieve myself of any guilt I may have felt about not warning you about Miss Bingley's plans."
Darcy chuckled and leaned forward to look intently at Elizabeth. "You need never concern yourself on that score. Years ago, my valet Smithson, got a master blacksmith in Lambton, the town your aunt hails from, to make a clever set of wedges, blocks, rods, and cables. We carry them everywhere we go, and we have everything we need to make any bedchamber door impervious to entry. Nobody can enter my room without an axe, a battering ram, or a couple of strong footmen making a great deal of noise."
Elizabeth laughed along with the man. "That seems sensible. Perhaps you might explain your confusing statements about Maddie?"
"My pleasure," he said with a smile that Elizabeth may have even found handsome if she so chose.
He leaned back in the chair to get comfortable. "Maddie has the keen ability to detect character. When your mother visited, you mentioned that you like to sketch characters. Maddie has it down to a fine art. I have no idea if she uses smell, hearing, sight, or some combination we cannot perceive; but she can detect which people are genuine and which are not."
"I am all astonishment. How long has she had the ability and how reliable is it?"
He sighed slightly. "Her first discovery was a boy I played with as a child. George Wickham was the son of our steward and my father's godson. He seemed amiable as a child, but Maddie never liked him. As we grew, I eventually learned he had vicious propensities that he hid from my father until his dying day, but never from Maddie. The man has plagued my existence for many years, with Maddie liking him less and less. Once I started noticing that Maddie despised Wickham and loved her namesake, I started to trust her. I have been using her for business negotiations since I came of age, and she has never been wrong… even once."
"I am all amazement. I congratulate you on your good fortune. Does it work with ladies as well?"
"Most certainly," he said with a big smile. "If I took her into the drawing room tonight, she would have growled at the superior sisters, ignored Hurst, licked Bingley and Miss Bennet's faces then curled up on your lap."
Elizabeth stared at him in open-mouthed astonishment, having no idea whether he was bragging about his dog or paying her a compliment.
Darcy became far more pensive. "The biggest mistakes of my life were when I disregarded Maddie or made an important decision without her. For example, last summer I hired a companion for my sister who wanted to leave school. Maddie was feeling ill, so I left her at Pemberley in the care of my kennel master and did the interview with nobody but my cousin who shares guardianship, and my aunt, the countess of Matlock. The woman we hired was in league with the same George Wickham I mentioned earlier, and nearly brought my sister to great harm."
Elizabeth gasped, thoroughly distressed by the news, feeling like her emotions were swinging back and forth like a child's swing.
She asked pensively, "Is she recovered?"
"She will be… eventually. That all happened just six weeks before I met you, and we are both still deeply affected by it."
They sat in stillness for a few minutes, then Darcy shook off the bad mood and decided to proceed. He leaned forward to speak.
"Based on several things we have deferred in our discussion tonight; might I assume that if you had a Maddie, she would not be licking my face?"
Elizabeth squirmed in place, while the actual real-life Maddie looked at Darcy and growled, for the first time in her life. The lady looked down at the very protective dog and felt something slip into place… some hint of mystery… something unknown… something perhaps frightening, but worth knowing. Based on his recent history, she felt the start of a resolution to be kinder to the world in general, and Mr Darcy in particular.
Her first order of business was to sooth Maddie, so she scratched her ears and ruffled the fur on her belly. "Now, now, Maddie. Do not be distressed. Your master and I have some disagreements… that is all."
She could swear Maddie looked at her with compassion and intelligence but had to acknowledge it could all be in her head. What was unmistakable was there was a tension between her and the gentleman, and her new favourite dog would not be happy until it was resolved.
She finally sighed and looked directly and intently at the gentleman. "I suppose I should preface this by telling you that Maddie has already bought you some forgiveness that you have not really earned, but be that as it may, you are correct. Before tonight, my Maddie would have taken a tolerable chunk out of your hide and buried it beneath our old oak tree."
Darcy gasped. "You heard!"
"Every word," she said, remembering the pain and humiliation of being slighted at the assembly. She had naturally made a joke out of it in self-defence, but it had hurt.
Much to her surprise, the gentleman apparently decided he had not pushed propriety anywhere near enough, as he left his chair and came right up to her on his knee, reached up tentatively to wrap his hand in her own that was presently soothing Maddie.
He whispered, "I am so sorry. I cannot imagine any apology sufficient, but I do offer one unreservedly. That was very badly done."
"It was, and it hurt. You are fortunate you picked me as your victim. I know women who would be devastated. It did sting, but I cannot imagine you to be so very bad if Maddie loves you and you apologised when you had the chance."
Darcy sighed. "You and Maddie give me more credit than I deserve. It is not as if I had no idea you might have heard, and I have been in the neighbourhood for a month, with plenty of opportunity to act in a gentlemanlike manner. I do apologise, and I hope to become the sort of man who either would not say such a terrible thing or would make amends more expeditiously."
She laughed, but it was slightly brittle. "Do not carry on too long or you will start to sound like Mr Bingley, making a virtue of your vices."
He laughed along with her, but his was brittle as well.
She looked down and saw his hand was still on top of hers, and she boldly turned her palm over so they were touching palm to palm. It was the most intimate touch she had ever shared with a man, and she had no idea if the butterflies in her stomach were good or bad.
She gave another brittle laugh. "Speaking of manners, my own mother says worse to Mary and me daily and we forgive her, so I suppose I can forgive a stranger… under one condition."
"Name it!"
She sighed. "Promise me, on your word as a gentleman, that you will never-ever commit such a heinous offence again. Had you said that about Maria Lucas, she would have travelled to France and joined a nunnery. Had you done it to my sister Lydia, she would have either laughed in your face or scratched your eyes out, depending on her mood."
Darcy clasped his fingers around her hand and squeezed. "Perhaps, it would be best to just act like a gentleman in the first place."
"Probably for the best."
"Between you and Maddie, I think I have been properly humbled. Now that I look back on the last month, I can see that my behaviour was not noticeably better than Miss Bingley's."
Elizabeth thought about that for some time, wondering why she was allowing a single man to sit beside the bed holding her hand with naught but an ancient dog between them. If there ever was a compromising situation, that was certainly it. Detecting the danger, she did the only sensible thing: absolutely nothing.
"Based on my supreme indifference comment earlier in the evening, you could presume I thought as such… and to tell the truth, I did."
Darcy gulped but offered no rebuttal.
"Having said that, I can see a considerable difference. Outside of Maddie's company, you are taciturn, and you look disapproving, but I do not believe you are disapproving. Miss Bingley has a caustic tongue and truly thinks meanly of the world. You appear to have the same propensity, but only when you are close to her. I think, in retrospect, you mostly seem uncomfortable… or perhaps socially inept. On the other hand, when I let go of my prejudice against you that was formed at the assembly, I must admit you have mostly treated me with respect at Netherfield, which was never a given… especially when I made every effort to draw blood with every word."
Darcy laughed heartily. "You are the only woman I have ever met who is willing to say that to my face. Brava, my lady… brava!"
Elizabeth stared down in embarrassment, thinking it was high time to boot the man out… but did nothing.
Darcy stared at Elizabeth, noticing her embarrassment, but also her resolve to hold her ground, and he had to admire it. He realised he had put her in a tremendously uncomfortable position… several times… and yet she gave him the benefit of the doubt, which he had in no way earned.
His knee was starting to hurt, but he did not want to lose contact, so he stood up, keeping her hand tightly in his, and sat down beside her on the bed. He looked at her carefully for her reaction, but she just stared at him, as if daring him to make the next move.
He cleared his throat, which was suddenly almost too dry to speak.
"Miss Elizabeth… can you imagine what I have been searching for my whole life?"
"I suppose most would say you could not possibly be in want of anything. You certainly cannot complain about what you have received with respect to fortune, connexions, consequence, and possessions. That said, if your childhood was spent mostly with only a companion Maddie disapproved of, and you spent the previous decade working with master blacksmiths to protect your honour… well, I can imagine your life is nowhere near as perfect as most would imagine."
He stared at her in wonder, and took a deep breath. "You are more right than you can know… and you are the first to work it out."
She sighed. "That is even worse than I thought. I always assumed you had some who truly understood you."
"Bingley and my cousin Richard come close, but they both would simply call me a whinger if I expressed any dissatisfaction with my present status. They would both happily assure me that I dug my own grave."
She frowned. "Tell me… what have you been searching for all this time?"
Darcy looked down at their joined hand and wondered if he could take the other, but eventually worked out both that he was procrastinating, and he could not do so without going back to the floor or dislocating his shoulder.
He smiled. "I have been looking for the love of my life. Have you any idea how I define that?"
She smiled nervously. "My curiosity is piqued."
"I have always wanted a woman who both Maddie and I can fall madly in love with, and who can reciprocate both ways."
Elizabeth glanced down at their joined hands sitting on top of Maddie then back at him. "Are you implying what the context of this discussion and our present position implies?"
He smiled. "I am stating it outright. Maddie loves both of us and we both obviously reciprocate. I am convinced I love you, though I only came to the realisation in the last hour. There is but one link left to forge."
He looked into her eyes beseechingly. "Have I any hope of eventual success?"
She squeezed his hand harder. "You may hope… and eventually may not be as far away as it sounds… particularly when I thought I despised you two hours ago."
"Have I your permission to call on you at Longbourn?"
Elizabeth grimaced. "You have seen how poor Mr Bingley is treated. Can you imagine my mother's reaction if Mr Ten Thousand courts her least favourite daughter?"
Darcy joined her grimace. "Now that you mention disagreeable relatives, my aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh has entertained the fantasy for years that I have a cradle engagement with her daughter. If she learns of it, she will become very disagreeable… and when she is unhappy, she can make life miserable and even expensive for everyone around her."
"Worse than Mrs Bennet?"
"Far worse than Mrs Bennet's worst day! I also suspect Miss Bingley will try to slander you as well, and she has a big network of like-minded-gossipers in town to work with. She can make our courtship and entry into society even more uncomfortable but do it subtly enough that I cannot trace it back."
Elizabeth sighed. "We are both cursed by our families and acquaintances. I am not afraid to admit that I find the entire process… tedious."
Darcy sighed. "Any other potential problems I should be aware of?"
Elizabeth grimaced again. "Longbourn is entailed. The heir presumptive is coming to visit tomorrow, and I suspect he is looking for a wife. His letter mentions… OH MY!"
Darcy became alarmed by the last little bit. "What?"
She stuttered, "My father showed me his letter before I came to Netherfield. He sounds like a sycophantic idiot, but reading between the lines, it appears that his noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, has instructed him to wed one of us. Mary would be the best choice for a parson's wife, but I can just imagine my mother throwing me to the wolves, and my father might agree because I am by far the most qualified to take over the management of Longbourn on his death."
"I will not be intimidated," he said commandingly. "Let us think… there must be a way for us to court without interference."
Elizabeth thought for a couple of minutes, and finally laughed gleefully, "I have it! I double have it!"
"Does that mean you have two potential solutions or one that is twice as good as expected?"
Elizabeth laughed and shook her finger at him like a naughty boy. "The former… well… now that you mention it, both."
He laughed along with her. "Make sense, my love."
They both gasped at the endearment, which had not been in the least bit planned. Darcy looked like he wondered if he should retract it or seek permission to use it again.
Elizabeth spent the same time watching his confusion and looking inside her own heart to see how she reacted. She found that she was nowhere near as offended as both propriety and their complicated history indicated she should be. In fact, she was surprisingly sanguine. "Well, I suppose I now have to tell you the details of my plans."
He just nodded.
"The first idea: we could both go to town, and you could finally reacquaint yourself with Maddie's namesake. My aunt and uncle are sensible and fashionable, and since you obviously do not baulk at people in trade, you could call on me at Gracechurch Street."
It was not entirely fair for her to watch his reaction to her assertion that he would not baulk at people in trade, but it was not unfair either. She did not so much want to ensure that he would associate with his social inferiors. She more wanted to insure he acted as she believed he would. She could trust him if she could understand him, and she now thought she did.
Darcy nodded with a handsome smile. "I like that idea. It is perfect."
"Not quite," she said with a frown. "It is a major improvement over calling at Longbourn, but it would be impossible to keep the whole thing a secret for long. I suspect we would have both Mrs Bennet and Lady Catherine at the door within the week."
Darcy frowned. "Still an improvement, and I will take it. What is your other plan?"
Elizabeth smiled. "We could lay Maddie down over by the fire on that chair cushion, pull down the counterpane, blow out the candle, and go to bed. You could buy a common licence from the local vicar, and we would be married in a week."
Darcy stared at her in amazement, while she first stared at the floor at her own recklessness, but then looked back at him.
He leaned over, and very gently placed a kiss on her lips. The kiss started out very slow, subtle, and gentle; but then lit on fire and practically consumed them in its flames. A half-hour later they were laying under the covers, panting like racehorses, and calculating that with an ordinary licence, Mr Bennet's permission, a clean copy of Lady Anne Darcy's marriage settlement, and a £100 deposit they could marry without the seven-day wait period right there in the Longbourn chapel in a day or two.
An hour later, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy looked over at his very-soon-to-be-bride with a smile, and asked, "Have you a particular schedule for when you plan to fall in love with me?"
She laughed and lovingly smacked him on the side of the head, then gave him a kiss to make it all better. "You and Maddie would be back to dodging Miss Bingley, Mrs Bennet, and Lady Catherine if I did not love you already. I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. Even though the whole change took place over a couple of hours, I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. Make no mistake though… I do love you almost as much as I love Maddie."
Darcy laughed, and they decided they were likely to need some sleep as the next day was bound to be taxing.
Just before they drifted off, Elizabeth sat up abruptly in bed.
Darcy asked, "What is it, my love?"
She laughed. "Do you suppose we could take Maddie and deliver Mr Bingley to Jane's room?"
The scream of the maid who came in to make up the fire was sufficient to wake the dead… and coincidentally advance the marital plans for the happy couple… as planned.
It turned out that two anxious men with sufficient income and extensive marital anxiety could manage things very quickly indeed. Unfortunately, both had to go through the most indolent man in Hertfordshire, and one of the two was far less diligent than the other. In the end, the double wedding had to wait forever, and it was nearly ten days before the two brides signed the registers with the name Bennet for the last time, and they were declared man and wife twice over.
The wedding breakfast was surprisingly good for such a short time to arrange it, mostly because Miss Bingley and Mrs Bennet entered into an arrogance contest that would be fought for several decades.
At long last, Mr and Mrs Darcy entered the carriage and could at long last indulge for the first time in those activities allowed to married couples (wink, wink).
They did manage to keep a significant fraction of their clothing on their bodies all the way to London, but all bets were off once Mrs Darcy crossed the threshold.
Just before arriving in London, Darcy woke from a contented doze with his lovely bride on his lap. "By Jove, I have finally managed my life's ambition."
"What would that be, my love?" Mrs Darcy asked, suspecting impertinence was imminent.
"At long last, after fifteen years, I am related to Madeline Lewis!" he said, and followed it up with a demonstration of some of the ladylike behaviour that Mrs Gardiner nee Lewis did not teach her nieces.
~~ Finis ~~