Chapter 3:
"Morning, babe," Charlie murmured. Kissing her plush lips, the big man responded, "morning." That kiss turned into his hands on her ass, which had her hungry to go again, even if they had done it three times last night.
In teasing tones, she reminded him, "I'm supposed to send you off to work. I think Rosie would be upset with me if we hung around and played."
"Yeah," Finn sighed. Sometimes he got really tired of work, and he understood why Jake wanted to step away from the life they'd lived. Rolling over, the plush puppy stepped out of bed, announcing, "we can take a shower together. C'mon."
Gathering on robes, the pair slipped across to the guest bathroom. While the shower warmed up, the pair chatted about the previous evening, with Charlie opining, "you blind-sided me last night." Finn responded, "I did warn you that Simone and Roselinen would want to talk this out..."
As they stepped into the shower, Charlie chuckled, "yeah, well, I kinda' didn't expect that outcome." "You get used to it," Finn chuckled, as he soaped up those big knobs. Washing that hot body, the big man reflected on the deeper meaning of last night's confrontation.
"It's easy sometimes to avoid problems, Charlie," Finn rumbled, "especially when you're afraid of hurting somebody's feelings or maybe having them get angry and leave your life." "Yeah," she agreed. "I know."
Slipping his arms around her middle, resting those big hands on her flat belly, the big man said, "I've been tap-dancing around the bodyguard issue, Charlie." The curvy pup stiffened in his arms. "Beyond the baby thing, you're a part of my family, babe," he said, "just like you said it. We're family."
His hand stroked her belly. How did he do that? She wanted to be pissed as hell, but instead she was turned on. "Trust is part of love," Finn whispered. "I'm going to trust Charlie to make wise decisions with my girlfriend and child." Her face went hot.
Tugging her chin, Finn made her face him. Leaning down, the big man kissed her lush lips. "Be careful, babe," he said. The way he touched her set her heart aflutter. With a sigh, Charlie said, "I'll be careful, Finn. Promise. I'll screen my clients. I'll meet them in public spaces. I'll... I'll be good." Stroking her hips, he whispered, "I know you will." In the moment, he had to get to work.
It was a frustrated Charlene Rainicorn that exited her bedroom a half-hour later, dressed for work. Tingles? Oh, yeah, she had it bad. Having Finn basically say she was his girlfriend had her heart doing somersaults. This thing was in danger of growing feelings, making it much harder to disentangle her life from Finn's when she had Gibbon.
Intending to grab a muffin and apple and scoot, the curvy pup slipped into the kitchen to find a confrontation waiting on her instead. "Well," Viola rumbled. The actress was sitting at the kitchen table, looking pissed. "Morning to you, too, Vi," Charlie responded.
"You're still going to do this," Viola burbled. Charlie continued to pack her breakfast, responding, "I thought we kinda' talked this out, Vi. You know... Finn and Rosie did their best to smooth things over last night, instead of shitting on my family the way we shit on theirs." Viola's jaw came open. Then, as she realized just how true that was, the slim pup glanced away.
"I'm gonna' start looking for a new place," Charlie announced. "You won't have to deal with this anymore." With no further word, she picked up her breakfast and headed out the door.
For his part, Finn returned to the palace, changed his clothes, and headed downstairs to get to work. Beeps greeted him at the door of his little office with a surprisingly pleasant demeanor, when he'd been expecting rage after Orzsebet's behavior the previous day.
"Morning, honey," she said. "I had a quick breakfast prepared for you, assuming you'd have no time to eat anything." Finn flushed. Yeah, she'd gotten that right, though probably not for the reasons she thought. He'd basically run out of Viola's apartment to avoid dealing with Charlie's sister.
As Finn bolted down breakfast, the eldest of the breakfast cuties lay a piece of paper on the table. "What's this," Finn asked, around a mouthful of sausage? "Your schedule," Breakfast responded. "You've got a series of public appearances scheduled. It's Rosie and Minerva's idea."
Finn groaned. "The world needs to see the new you, honey," Breakfast retorted. "Slow down. If you spill anything, we'll have to dress you again." Clamping down on the complaints that wanted to flow from his mouth, Finn responded, "ok." Looking up at her, he asked, "are you ok?" "Fine, babe," she responded. "Your car leaves in an hour."
Far to the west, Eisthir Griffin walked past the sucker inhabiting her spare bedroom. The kid looked up at her with an expression of abject misery. He was incapable of complaining because she'd gagged him. Petting him on the head, the wax-hustler plucked her off-the-books phone from the charger in the corner.
"Go," muttered Eisthir. Knowing who'd be calling her this time of the morning, she was already irritated. "We have confirmation that Melinda is imprisoned in the dungeon of the Candy Palace," announced Gordon Wells. That was the only surprise for Eisthir. This dumbass had sent her sister into a hot situation alone, almost as if he wanted to throw her life away. Eisthir hardly expected Finn the Human or his allies to leave Melinda among the living.
"What do you want me to do now," she asked? "Lay low," Gordon responded. "Keep working on the city council and the mayor. I'm working on obtaining weapons, but smuggling them is going to be difficult." The wax-hustler grimaced. She imagined that was meant to calm her, but she was anything but.
"They've stopped looking for the kid," Eisthir offered, "though they're still searching for the murderer of that candy-person. The village up the coast is quiet again. They're planting crops. I can bring soldiers ashore there." "I'll try to accelerate efforts to supply weapons," Gordon allowed, "but I don't want to make premature moves again. We moved too quickly with the rocket-base."
Another of your fuckups, thought Eisthir. The decision to sign on with Gordon's faction was looking rather like a really bad decision. While he'd seemed to hold all the cards, considering he had control over more than half of the Firm's wealth and over two thirds of its agents, Orzsebet's faction was quickly gaining ground.
More to the point, Gordon's utter failure to score a significant blow against Finn the Human suggested this thing was circling the drain. With her sister imprisoned and facing the death penalty, Eisthir feared it was time to start looking for an exit strategy, while there were still places she could disappear.
"I'll try to control the humans' enthusiasm for moving on King's Island," Eisthir declared. "It would go a long way towards cementing my control here, if you can supply me with something I can give them." "I'll get you some weapons to show," Gordon agreed. With nothing left to discuss, the master spy hung up.
Back across the sea, Finn found himself facing a crowd of reporters as his limo approached the Botanical Gardens. "After reviewing arrangements for your protection with Star and Thor, Minerva and I decided to have the event here," Rosie remarked. Frowning, Finn responded, "ok, but you still haven't told me what kind of event this is going to be."
As the car rolled up to the door, Rosie responded, "this is the public acknowledgment of Bronwyn's children as yours, husband. You're going to officially choose names for them. It's a nice bit of ceremony acknowledging Bronwyn as part of the family, since she's done so much for your people in the west."
Finn's face whipped around. Roselinen's expression suggested that he better not even think about quibbling here. Then again, hadn't he said it? Everything was of consequence, when you were King. I just didn't think we'd be making a ceremony out of me fooling around, he thought.
Stepping out of the limo, he was greeted with a whirlwind of shouted questions. Smiling politely, the big man offered Roselinen his arm. Waving the way Bonnie used to do it, when she did her annual 'Twenty Questions with the Princess' ceremony with the candy-peeps, Finn strode up the walk as the cameras clicked.
Inside, he found himself greeted with a crowd of very familiar faces. It had been a few weeks since he'd last seen the Privy Council, and he could definitely have done without the early conversation. Thankfully, the crowd was much smaller, though he couldn't help a glance at the video cameras perched up above him.
"Ok," he whispered, "what am I doing here?" "There's a script," Rosie responded. "You just have to read. Breakfast, Sarah, and I will do the rest." Up ahead, Sarah and Breakfast were waiting on the speaker's platform behind the podium.
Mounting the platform, Finn stepped up to the podium to find a speech already prepared. It was heavily annotated with suggestions such as 'smile at Bronwyn here' or 'more emphasis'. It was a more polite version of what Betty had tried to do to him back in the ugly days where she was manipulating Simon to run for the Grand Master's office.
Swallowing his objections, the big man took up the speech, faced the cameras, and offered, "good morning, ladies and gentleman of the Privy Council and distinguished members of the press." Behind him, Breakfast relaxed visibly when she heard those perfect words come from her husbands ears, though far from relaxing, Rosie grimaced. Simone had admitted to finding the difference jarring, even if she understood the reasons. Just as her rival/sister had said, it didn't feel right to do this to him, and Rosie found she missed the folksy way he spoke when they met.
"We're met today for a momentous occasion," Finn declared. "We've been, collectively, dealing with a steady diet of crisis over the last five or so years. We've seen the hardships of the Lich War and its aftermath. We've seen the destruction wrought by the Dipped at Death's behest. Many of you have lost friends and dear family, and we've had our troubles with providing meals for all..."
Pausing—going off-script—Finn admitted, "I have had my troubles finding meals for all of you." The gathered princesses and princes squirmed, Breakfast among them. Rosie couldn't help the smile that blossomed at that. There was a difference there. She shared her hubby with these women, but she wasn't like them. Finn was reminding them of their failures in feeding their people—Royal failures.
"There's hope in birth," Finn declared. "Each child born is a chance for the future to be better than the now that we have." Turning the page, he announced, "today, I'd like to introduce three bright sparks for Ooo's future..."
At those words, Bronwyn stepped out of the curtained alcove behind the dais and up onto the stage, carrying her three babies. "My sons and daughters are pledged to the furtherance of Ooo's prosperity," Finn declared. His brow furrowed at that, as he realized what those words meant. His ideas of retiring Billy and Fionna had just taken a dagger to the chest. And what about his younger kids?
Van was growing fast. How long before he got thrown into the job of general or something? What if Blargetha's daughter, Heaviana, was as smart as she was? Would she find herself shackled to a desk in some laboratory, laboring away? He didn't really like the answer.
As those thoughts crossed his mind, the big man was forced to extol the virtues Bronwyn brought to the table—her intellect, work-ethic, and business acumen. He talked of how the materials she was working to import from the new human homeland would make both the humans and the folk of the Civilized Kingdoms prosperous.
Taking up their first born child, the big man took a good look at her. Her deep blue eyes stared back at him steadily from a cute, heart-shaped face. "Rhonwen Mertens," Finn dubbed her. "My pretty Ronnie will in time grow into her role as one of Ooo's leading lights. She'll help in building a future of common prosperity for all of Ooo's citizens from least to greatest."
Handing off the little girl, he picked up his son, Roger, introducing the little guy to the gathered crowd, extolling all the wondrous things he'd do in the future, as Roger's pretty mommy looked on. Finally, Finn took up Rina. Giggling, the little girl reached out to him as if she wanted a hug. Finn put her off. This didn't seem the time. Unfortunately, the moment was marred as Rina burst into tears, and Bronwyn was forced to rush her off the stage.
Forcing down the urge to rush after her, Finn declared, "my blood—the fruit of my loins—is pledged to you, my people, until the world of Ooo is no more." He paused to let that sink in, while Rosie's eyes scanned the gathered Royals. There were some pretty unhappy faces there and some unhappy pretty faces among them. The old woman, Odessa, seemed perturbed for some reason, though the most unhappy face seemed to belong to Laurel Princess.
Why, thought Rosie? What's she got to be unhappy over? She struggled with understanding these people. Early on, she'd thought it was this strange new world. That world-view got changed, though, as she interacted more and more with the ordinary folk of Ooo. No, the people who were the strangers all wore crowns.
Her child's place in things has changed, Rosie, the plush pillow thought. The more she looked at Alexia, the more she realized that was true. Alexia had a Royal Child—eligible to sit on Finn's throne, when he went to dead world. At the same time, there were a lot of Royal Children. Her child could be replaced, Rosie surmised. Finn could easily replace little Zenobia if she failed to cut the mustard.
So get your act together, Rosie thought at the wench. Be a mother instead of a layabout and slacker! More to the point, the sooner the child was old enough to be brought to court, the better off Zenobia would be. Then it would be Rosie and Simone dictating the direction her life took rather than her mopheaded mom.
Flipping pages, Finn also changed gears. Smiling for the cameras, the big man remarked, "this day is about changes in direction and hope for the future. In honor of that, it's my intent to reward prisoners who've made a change in their life direction with a change in their sentences." As the gathered dignitaries and the folk watching through the cameras listened, His Majesty issued an even two-dozen pardons to long-serving members of Ooo's criminal population.
Rosie, Minerva, Breakfast, and Sarah had worked for hours on that list, weeding it down to those who could be trusted to return to society. It was a delightful reward for Rosie to hear her husband return those people's lives to them. Hadn't Simone said it? Much of the pleasure of this ugliest of roles was the joy of moments like this. I almost wish I could see them receive their freedom, she thought.
On the far side of town, John Hersey rushed into his boss's office to find Kim Kil Wan staring at the smoldering remains of his video screen. Apparently, the big presser his uncle had setup royally pissed Kim off.
Before John could say a word, Kim growled, "I need a meeting with Starchy." "Uh...," John rumbled. Glaring at him, the dog-icorn snarled, "I want a meeting with Starchy this week!" It was clear that, if John failed to understand why his boss wanted to meet with the Conspiracy Maven of Channel Six, asking questions would just get him shouted at. "Ok," said he.
When he turned to go, Kim called out, "wait!" When John turned to face him, the dog-icorn declared, "you're my best, John. You know how much I need you?" "Yeah, Kim," the chocolate bar responded. Taking a breath, Kim said, "things are going to get crazy, John. My uncle is threatening to wreck the world with his games, and he has to be stopped."
John stared back steadily. This wasn't about Finn the Human's power games. It was about Finn the Human dipping his dick in Kim's daughter. "I'll do what needs doing, boss," John responded. "Get me that meeting," Kim said. With a nod, John went out the door.
The Naming Ceremony got wrapped up with Bronwyn returning with little Rina in her arms. Before the sundry dignitaries, the big man took up the little bundle of joy and cradled her, tickling her little belly for the joy of it.
Of course, with the ceremony thus concluded, there was a lot of pressing of the flesh and chatting with members of the council to get done. One by one, they streamed past, offering Bronwyn warm wishes for her health and that of her Royal Children.
Princess Grace was among the first to the dais. Smiling at Bronwn, the half-breed remarked, "you've grown quite a bit since the first days your father came to my homeland..." Graciously, Bronwyn responded, "yes. You've grown too. I remember watching you on stage..." The curvy woman flushed to her hair at the reminder of her plebeian origins, but more was coming.
Breakfast queried, "who's your companion?" Grace's face flicked to the handsome hunk at her side. "Uh, he's the Seneschal of my palace," she burbled, her eyes locking with Finn's. As her oblivious husband teased his daughter's tummy, Rosie remarked, "funny, but I've never seen the keeper of a Royal Palace traveling while his master's away from home. Perhaps you should find a new one. A Royal Mistress must be careful of her reputation..."
The plush pillow's gaze turned to Sarah. "Lady Sarah," she intoned, "who is the designated Heir of the Suncoast?" The answer came back immediately, "there is no heir at the moment." "That'll need fixing," Breakfast declared. Sarah bit her tongue to stifle laughter as Grace tore out of there. Watching her elegantly shaped backside wig-wag away, Rosie thought, slut! If you're fucking my husband, there'll be nobody else in the picture, slut!
On the far side of town, Charlie stepped back from helping the young hard-body from Muscle Kingdom. She was seeing far more visitors from other kingdoms these days than in her misspent youth. "Oh," moaned the pretty brunette, as she stretched. "That's sooo much better."
Charlie chuckled, "as somebody packing quads, I understand your troubles." Flushing and grinning, the busty brunette agreed, "yeah, we do have a problem, don't we?" Smiling back, Charlie said, "three sessions a week. Once we've got you loosened up, we'll get you set up with a mat at home. We'll have your back in good shape in no time."
Thanking Charlie, the client gathered on her coat, gathered up her belongings, and slipped out the door, leaving Charlie a generous tip. The great thing about being back in the Candy Kingdom was the clients were a lot wealthier than Sonbong.
After a brief trip to the lady's room, the thicc pup returned to the counter. As she approached, she found a tall, dark-haired stranger there with the peculiar waxy-green skin of the Emerald folk. His dark eyes immediately locked with hers.
"New client," announced Mrs. Strypes. Charlie turned to glance down at the hot little peppermint girl. Nodding, the cheating housewife licked her lips. "I've been trying to lock him down, but he's been asking about you," said she. Charlie frowned. She hadn't been in town long enough to have a customer base, and she'd been gone from this place long enough that nobody should remember her name.
"I'm not really seeing random clients," Charlie declared. Rian Stripes said, "don't be silly. He's got that look about him... You could probably take him from the mat to your bed, no problem." "I have a boyfriend, Rian," Charlie retorted. "Pish-posh," the little candy-slut replied. "What he doesn't know... That fella's probably got fat emeralds in his pockets. You could be rich."
A voice in Charlie's head reminded her, you could already be rich, if you weren't being a dumbass. Wasn't that how it went? The Royal Baby-Momma could write her own ticket? "I'll see him," Charlie sighed. "One time deal until we get him set up with a regular schedule." "You'll be in his bed in a trice," Rian giggled, "and in his bank-account right after."
Rolling her eyes, Charlie walked past her idiot boss to go meet her would-be client. "Hi," Charlie greeted him. "I'm Charlene Rainicorn. You can call me Charlie. I'll be your Yoga Instructor today." "Aziz," the stranger responded, as he shook her hand. "Aziz Binici."
Charlie nodded. Yeah, he was from Emerald Kingdom, alright. Far from comforting her, that realization sent her hackles up. There was something off about this guy. "Come on back," Charlie said, as she turned to go back into her 'office'.
Once they were in the classroom, Charlie motioned for him to sit down on one of the mats. "So," said she, "what's got you wanting to take up yoga?" "Troubles with my lower back," Aziz responded. It was a common enough complaint. Trouble was, unlike the girl who'd been in before him, Aziz had shown no trouble sitting down on the floor. Two strikes, said the voice in Charlie's head.
Paranoid, she shouted back. You're being paranoid! She wanted to blame Finn for inciting her paranoia. Really, if her boyfriend had been in front of her right that minute, she'd have belted him in the boin-loins.
"The way this works," Charlie declared, "is that I work with you, your physical trainer, and your chiropractor. It's a synergistic effort. Your doctor's going to get whatever vertebra is out of joint and pinching a nerve back where it's supposed to be. The trainer's going to work with you on getting the strength back in the muscles. I'm going to make sure you stay flexible and don't go stiff like a board. Ok?" "Of course," Aziz responded with a smile, showing even white teeth. "Alright," she said. "Let's get started."
On the far side of the ocean, Chessie Shaw stepped into the wheel house, announcing, "got the main-mast braced, boss." "Status," asked Black Cass? "Good enough t'put on a little sail," Chessie responded, "but we'll need 'er replaced."
The storm they'd hit had done them no favors. They'd spent hours the previous night jogging along, making no progress at all, while the captain did her best to keep the bow pointed into the waves. There was a reason ships were reluctant to sail through the winter months.
Having tested fate, they were in decent shape for the final run to Stilt Town. There, they could dump their dangerous passenger on the Lady of the Lake, hit Captain Wilson's for some quality time in his drydock, and cut loose with some of that cash they'd been promised.
"D'you give the big feller his dose," Cass asked? Chessie's face snapped up. Oh, shit, thought the First-Mate. In all the business with the repairs from the storm, she'd forgotten. Guessing what she was thinking, Cass swore at her.
"I-I'll get right on it," Chessie declared, as she backed out of the wheelhouse. While they were cousins and thick as thieves besides, Chessie knew her mistake was the kind of catastrophic that could cost all of them their skins. Rushing down the ladder, she hustled down to the cabin where they were keeping their unpleasant guest.
Thankfully, the big man was still asleep, when Chessie stepped into his cabin. Adjusting to the light, the curvy pirate reached over the bed to get the bottle of sleep-sleep juice. Stretching over the bed's occupant, she ended up resting those big knockers quite literally on his face.
That was what Billy woke up to. His mind was abuzz with thoughts of madness and murder, with a voice pounding in his head instructing him to destroy. Instead of an island full of would-be mass-murderers trafficking in weapons of mass destruction, his eyes found a pair of giant knockers in an almost-see-through top literally resting on his eyeballs.
"What-the-what," Billy babbled? Chessie jumped back. "Chessie," Billy groaned, as he sat up in bed. "Where the hell am I?" The look of ernest terror on the pirate-girl's face counterpointed the painful boner he'd gotten at the sight of those giant knobs bobbing in his face.
Scrubbing his fingers through his head, he burbled, "I have the mother of all headaches." A bit of motion drew his attention back to Chessie—or her hands. "Ok," said he, "what are you hiding? Other than a pair of giant titties."
"Your girl call on that gadget," Chessie murmured. "You went out... You was s'posed t'call her..." It took a moment. He vaguely remembered promising to call Rags. Obviously, he'd missed that appointment, but he couldn't rightly remember why or what the fuck had been going on. Swinging his legs out from under the sheets, he inadvertently gave the curvy pirate an eyeful. "Uh," he burbled, "where're my pants?"
Well, Billy has awakened in familiar surroundings with missing moments of his life, thanks to his unintentional Ice-Tiara induced bender. Wonder what happened in those missing moments? Meanwhile, the family patriarch is starting to get used to all the ceremonial baloney that comes with the job-or at least he's learning to shut up about it. Rosie's finding her feet as Simone's deputy, keeping the various problem-children in their places. And the henchmen (and women) are getting a little nervous about the way their factions' revolts are going. Wonder if Eisthir or John might seek new employment soon.