A/N: I hope you all are doing well. Enjoy the next chapter! Don't be afraid to leave a comment.

Dry Those Tears

She was actually trembling.

Sarah swallowed convulsively as she stepped off the bus and tightened her grip around her bag. She tried to remember a time that she had ever been this nervous, but she was having trouble holding onto her thoughts. She felt scattered and... afraid. She was afraid of Connor. She had never been afraid of Connor before – she hated it.

Their phone call the night before had been brief, punctuated by a heavy silence at her confirmation of his fatherhood. She didn't know if it had been the ringing of her phone or if Callum had somehow sensed her distress, but he had wandered groggily out to the living room calling for her. She'd never forget Connor's sharp inhalation as he heard his son's voice for the first time. She'd had asked him to hold while she put their son back to bed, but by the time she returned to the phone, Connor had hung up and sent her a text saying he'd be at Joe's as planned.

Taking a fortifying breath through her nose, Sarah marched deliberately down the block toward the café. She was twenty minutes early. Between worrying over missing her bus and obsessing over seeing Connor, she hadn't been able to sit still once she had dropped Callum off at school. She had gathered everything she needed into her bag and proceeded to drink an entire pot of coffee before deciding she couldn't keep pacing her small apartment.

Sarah didn't even make it inside the café before Connor was in front of her, shoving a coffee into her palm and pressing a hand into the small of her back to usher her down the street to his car, "Connor, what -"

"We are not having this conversation in public," Connor muttered as he pulled open the passenger side door for her.

Sarah didn't budge for a moment as she turned to regard him. He looked worse than she did. Circles lined his eyes, and he was paler than normal, her hand itched to press against his forehead as she did with Callum when he didn't feel well, "Did you sleep?"

"I'm fine." Connor said, "Get in."

He wasn't fine. It was obvious he was far from fine, but she didn't know how to make it better. She didn't think she could. Quietly, she slipped into the passenger seat and winced when he slammed the door. Flustered, she placed the coffee he had gotten her into the cupholder. She didn't think she needed any more caffeine. The tension in the car was more than ramping her up as it was.

Connor didn't live far from the hospital. A pricey high-rise apartment building that she wouldn't be able to afford in a million years loomed over them. It was a stark reminder of how easily Connor could retain a lawyer and have custody of Callum before she even had a chance to blink. She tried not to dwell on it. The last thing she needed was to feed her fears.

Silence reigned loudly between them as Connor parked the car and guided her inside. His jaw was tight – his whole body was wound tight. He reminded her of a caged panther. She tried to preempt his pounce when the door to his apartment clicked shut behind them.

"Connor-"

"I want to meet him." Connor cut her off immediately, his demand clear and unyielding.

Sarah sighed and crossed her arms. She supposed this was a good thing, that he was interested in Callum, but she had always known he would be. Connor was never the deadbeat dad type.

He took her silence as a refusal and it was to a certain degree, "I want to meet him, Sarah."

Sarah stared at him. Took in the hard determination in his sapphire eyes, the firm clench of his jaw. He'd fight for this, she knew he would, "We need to talk first. You're not going to meet him today and maybe not even tomorrow. Not until we get a few things straightened out."

"I don't care-"

"I. Do." Sarah said forcefully, effectively shutting him up. She could be unyielding too, "I know what you want, Connor. But hear me now, what you want comes second to what my kid needs."

"He needs his father." Connor declared as if it were news to her.

"Yes, he does." She agreed quietly, "He needs a father who isn't going to disappear on him if and when things get hard – painful. And I'm not going to let you near him if you can't be there for him. If all you'll end up doing is shut him out."

Connor's eyes flared, "You left me, Sarah. You disappeared on me first."

It was a petty and stupid argument, one that could go on forever if she let it. Sarah knew her part in this mess – she had been dealing with the fallout of it for nearly six years now. It infuriated her to have it thrown back in her face, but this is why they needed to talk. They couldn't be like this in front of Callum. She just barely managed to hold back the scathing retort on her tongue. Instead, she acknowledged what she didn't want to, "I am aware of that, Connor. I'm aware that I pushed you away, that I broke us up. And I will always regret what that decision has taken from our son, and I have spent years trying to fix it. Do you honestly think that I would be standing here, right now, if I didn't want you in his life?"

Connor's chest heaved and she could see his pent-up emotion breaking through the hard mask he was presenting her. He cracked just a little, "I've missed so much already. I don't want to miss anymore."

"I don't want you to, either." Sarah said softly, "It's why we need to talk."

It took a few minutes for Connor to collect himself enough to nod in agreement and she was able to breathe a little easier.

For the first time since stepping inside, she saw his apartment. It was half put together. Boxes still lined a few walls, but his furniture was haphazardly arranged, and his... Sarah paused as she took in his coffee table. Her letters lay strewn across the top along with an empty tumbler and a selection of photos of Callum.

"Can I get some water?" Sarah asked, her mouth suddenly dry. The edges of her pieced together heart ground in a painful heartquake.

"How about something stronger?" Connor returned.

"It's not even noon." She vaguely protested, but caved under his knowing look, "Yeah."

Connor snatched his tumbler from the table and strode into his kitchen for another, "Ice?"

"Please," Sarah murmured as she drifted closer to the coffee table. Her fingers trailed over the words she had penned a lifetime ago... at least it seemed a lifetime ago and at the same time, it felt like only yesterday she had been agonizing over how to be a mother. If she were capable of caring for the little human growing inside her.

The gentle cool tap of a glass against her shoulder made her aware of Connor by her side. She accepted the tumbler with a quiet sigh, "I really do want you to meet him."

Connor swallowed, staring into his glass, "How'd we get here, Sarah? I saw you leave that clinic. None of your letters explain... We should be married right now. I should know my son. Not this."

Would they be married? Having Callum had been rough in more ways than one – she's not sure their relationship would have weathered all the storms it had brought about. She pursed her lips as she recalled those first days – days she had dwelled on more than she cared to admit.

"I found out that I was pregnant the day after you got your match." Sarah whispered, unable to tear her gaze away from one of the sonogram photos she had sent Connor, "You had this whole future ahead of you. In another country. I still had to finish school. Having a baby then seemed... impossible. I couldn't be a mother. Not me. I was sure of it. I could see it all so clearly. In my mind, we were going to break up anyway. Long-distance never works for relationships. So, I made the appointment. I broke up with you. I got on a plane, and I didn't let myself really think about any of it. And then I got there."

Sarah lifted her head then to see Connor watching her intently. Furious and silent and sad, "The doctor started going over my options and suddenly it all felt so real. This was happening. I was pregnant. No matter what I chose to do at that moment I was going to walk away irreparably changed forever and I couldn't handle it. I panicked. I walked out of the doctor's office before she could finish explaining the procedure. I got a taxi to the nearest hotel, and I broke down. I spent the next three days trying to decide what I wanted, and everything kept leading back to you. I wanted you. I needed you. I tried calling, but you wouldn't pick up. So, I got back on a plane, and I came to see you."

"But I wouldn't see you," Connor murmured, remembering the first time she had shown up at his door only to be turned away by his roommates because he was on the second day of an alcohol-induced bender. He had been told she had come by several more times and had been met with the same resistance. She had managed to see him once, but he was so drunk he didn't really remember more than her gently combing her fingers through his hair as he lost consciousness.

When he had sobered up, he had finished the last few things he had been required to do for graduation, packed his stuff into a duffle, and headed for his residency in Seattle. Anything to get away from Sarah. Anything to erase the memory of her walking out of that clinic without speaking to him first- to erase the memory of what could have been. He didn't even find her letter until he had settled into his new apartment. He had nearly burned it to prove to himself that he was over her, but it had ended up stuffed in his little box of pained memories instead.

God, if he had just opened it...

Connor slammed back his drink.

If he had just talked to her outside the clinic...

"No... but I did see you." Sarah said, she paled thinking of that encounter. He had somehow managed to stumble to her apartment, reeking of cheap booze. It was a miracle he hadn't gotten himself killed. He had collapsed in her doorway, desperate and half out of his mind, "You were so upset. I had never seen you like that. You asked me what you did to make me hate you that much. You had to have done something, why else would I hurt you like this. Whatever it was you were sorry, you took it back. "

Her breath hitched as she tried to hold in her tears, "Alex had to help me get you to the couch. I fell asleep next to you, and at some point, you slipped away. So, I wrote the note telling you I was pregnant, hoping you'd see it and come find me. I found out later from Alex that she had told you why I had gone to Mexico City. And then you were just...gone." Sarah continued, a sad weariness painting her expression as she held up one of the torn envelopes, "I got this address from Michael. He said that you'd left it with him in case anything showed up for you that needed to be forwarded on. It was the only link I had that you hadn't blocked me from. So, I wrote, and I hoped."

It was like a burning dagger was being dragged through his chest. He didn't remember saying any of that to Sarah, but Connor sure as hell remembered thinking it. He had been convinced that her pulling away from him had been his fault somehow. If he had just...

"I fucked this up," Connor muttered, an angry grimace coating his expression as he rubbed at his face.

"No, Connor, you didn't." Sarah said mournfully, "I should have just come to you from the start."

A bitter chuckle left him as he regarded her, "Yeah, you should have. And I should have stopped you when I had the chance or at the very least confronted you before I left. Instead, I acted like a coward and ran away at the first opportunity."

"Protecting yourself isn't an act of cowardice, it's just good sense," Sarah replied evenly, she had stopped blaming Connor for his part in their debacle a long time ago. His actions still hurt her, but not as much as realizing she had been the one to retreat first. She fucked it up, not him, "We both messed up. Now we need to fix it."

"How do we do that, Sarah? What do I have to do to see my son?" Connor asked point blankly because he was going to meet him. Come hell or high water, he was going to know this little boy.

"Have a little patience." Sarah took a sip of her drink and turned to him with the same fierceness she had shown him earlier. It was as if she knew this one request grated on his last nerve. "We need to take this slow. You've had one day to adjust to the fact that you're a dad. He's been wondering about you for longer. Introducing you is going to be a big deal for him, and I'm not going to let the weight of it crush him."

There was something unwavering in her. Defiant, as she quietly made it clear how serious she was. Connor slowly realized he was looking at a mother protecting her cub. As much as it infuriated him that she felt the need to protect Callum from him, he couldn't help but marvel at the Mama Bear before him. She really was a mom now.

It was on the tip of his tongue to argue with her. This was a big deal for all of them, but he knew it wasn't the same.

"You tell him about me?" Her last letters had said as much, but Connor needed to hear it. He needed to know... He needed to know everything.

Sarah nodded, "I show him photos. He knows what you look like and that you have a super important job saving people as a doctor. He knows that you don't know about him and that's why you're not there."

Connor didn't know how to react to that. Some part of him was relieved that his son didn't think he had purposefully abandoned him, but... but he should have been there. Callum should know more than that about him.

Sarah shifted and grabbed her bag, "I brought you some things. Some videos of him, and a few more pictures. I brought a copy of his birth certificate and his medical records. A planner that's a bit more detailed than the letters. The only thing I want back once you're done with it is the planner. I'm still adding to it."

He accepted everything she handed over, lingering over some of the pictures. He itched to get his laptop, but the doctor in him was pulling open the medical file before he could really think. His eyes scanned Callum's date of birth and froze, "His birthday is in a week."

"Next Monday." Sarah said quietly, "I don't know what your schedule is next week, but Callum is out of school Thursday and Friday because of Thanksgiving. I don't - I don't want you two to meet on a holiday. That's just too much pressure, but Friday... we can meet and see how that goes. That gives you the week to go through all of that and you can ask me questions. If everything goes well, Sunday, I was going to celebrate his birthday since he'll be back in school Monday, and I'll be back at the hospital. Nothing big, just dinner with cake and ice cream. I would like you to be there for that."

"I'll make that work," Connor said immediately. He didn't want to wait a week, but he would. He wasn't missing another birthday.

"Okay." Sarah breathed a faint sigh of relief. One battle over, now she was broaching the next, "Connor, if you want a paternity test, I'd understand. We should make arrangements -"

Connor snorted, effectively cutting her off as he leaned forward and grabbed a photo from the coffee table, and held it up next to his face, "Really, Sarah. He looks just like me. I don't need a paternity test."

"Let me know if that changes." She murmured uncertainly because she hadn't expected him to accept his parentage that easily... not after all this time.

Connor seemed to sense her doubt as he gave her a wire look, "Sarah... A year into us dating, Mira Lopez came onto me, and you made it very clear that if I so much as breathed in her direction that we were through. You don't tolerate infidelity. I know you never cheated on me. You're many things, stubborn, infuriating, a pain in the ass. You're not a liar."

"Mira Lopez was a skank." Sarah grumbled under her breath, still annoyed at the thought of his old lab partner.

Connor heard her all the same and snickered. It was the first smile he had cracked in what felt like an eternity. He needed the laugh. He leaned back and gaze at Sarah softly as he asked what he should have asked when they arrived, "Tell me about our son. What's he like?"

And that was a topic Sarah had no problem speaking about, "He reminds me of you more and more. And I don't mean physically. He's curious about everything and he has this smile. Sweet enough to make your tooth ache – it's how I know he's done something that'll get him into trouble."

She turned a pointed glance on him and Connor grinned, "What?"

Sarah huffed, a reluctant smirk tinting her lips, "It's a good thing someone gave me practice in spotting that smile."

Wisely, Connor refrained from comment as he kept his smile, "He's a troublemaker then?"

"He can be. He's a handful, but incredibly sweet. He'll be a little shy when he meets you." Sarah continued softly, subtly trying to prepare him if Callum became a little recalcitrant around him, "He gets overwhelmed around new people. He'll be quiet, watchful. He takes after me there, but I see signs that he's slowly growing out of it."

From Mama Bear to Proud Mama, Connor silently mused as he listened intently to her every word. A passive serenity fell over Sarah as she told him about Callum. Pride and love shining so easily from her big eyes for their little boy. The photos on his table received lengthier explanations than what she had written to him. It was a strange agony to have his own son described to him. He hungered for the information, but at the same time... It hurt so much to not have been there.

"Let me take you."

"No."

Connor scowled at Sarah as she crossed her arms and met his glare unflinchingly, "This is ridiculous."

"Connor, I already told you that you're not going to meet him today." Sarah reminded him calmly, "You can't come with me to pick him up."

"Pick him up. You don't even have a car." He muttered waspishly, "What does it really matter if I meet him today or in a week?"

Sarah sighed, it amazed her how quickly they had moved from contention to comradery back to contention again, "It matters because your son deserves to meet you in a place where he can feel safe. Where he can be as excited or as distraught as he wants. Not ambushed outside his school where all his friends, his teachers, and other parents can watch us like we're some trashy reality show. Our life is dramatic enough without us actively adding to it."

Connor grunted, not looking entirely convinced.

Sarah nearly rolled her eyes, but a larger part of her melted at how much he wanted this or maybe it was just how much his pout looked like Callum's, "You're gonna meet him, you goon. Be patient."

Connor's lips twitched up briefly, "It's been a long time since I've heard someone call me that."

They both knew she was the only one to ever call him that. Sarah bit back at a wave of warm affection and shrugged, "Some things never change. I gotta go."

"Let me pay for an Uber at least." He murmured reluctantly.

"I can get there just fine on my own, Connor," Sarah said, adjusting her now rather light bag.

"Can you -" Connor cut himself off frustration marring his expression as he bit his tongue, "Sarah, please."

The urge to sigh again was strong, but she felt herself begin to cave – she had already gotten him to concede quite a bit to her, "He goes to Hamilton Elementary."

Connor snatched up his phone before she could change her mind, "Thank you."

Sarah shook her head and silently asked to use his bathroom while he made the reservation. It didn't surprise her when he insisted on walking her down and waiting with her when she came back. He had always been overprotective, but she had always liked his care even if she did find it overbearing on occasion.

A luxury town car rolled up to the curb and Sarah arched a brow, "This is not an Uber."

"Close enough," Connor murmured, nodding to the driver as he came around to open the passenger door.

"Connor." Sarah breathed exasperation apparent as she glared at him.

He merely smiled unrepentantly, "Andre will take you wherever ever you need. School, store, home, hospital. I've texted the number of his service to you. You need to get anywhere call it. Use my name."

She wouldn't. Sarah bit her tongue and slid inside.

"Sarah." Connor waited until Sarah met his gaze, hard steel lined his tone, "Use it."

Irrational defiance sparked in her at the demand. He knew her too well... Overbearing that was Connor. This was going to turn into a fight, they both knew it.

Sarah breathed out through her nose as she murmured darkly, "I forgot how annoying you could be."

Connor smirked, "Right back at ya, sweetheart."

He started to turn away when Sarah called his name, and he arched a curious brow at her. She grudgingly said, "Thank you."

Connor simply nodded and stepped back to let Andre shut the door. She wasn't going to call the service. He could feel it in his bones. He made a note to check her schedule at work in the morning. She wouldn't be taking the bus home anymore.

He watched the car disappear around the corner before pulling out his phone.

"Doyle and Doyle Investigations."

Connor smiled faintly at the smooth voice that filtered over the line, "Hey, Rose. It's Connor."

"Connor, sweetie, hey. How are you? We haven't heard from you in a minute."

He kicked awkwardly at the ground as he turned back for his apartment. He wanted to start going through the things that Sarah had left him, "Yeah, I know. I'm good. Back in Chicago."

"-Oh wow..."

"Yeah." Connor huffed with a chagrinned smirk, "I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Sure, what do you need, hon?"

He hesitated for a moment before he bit the bullet and asked, "How deep are your background checks?"

There was a long silence on the other end before Rose answered, "They can be pretty extensive. You need us to look into someone for you?"

Connor swallowed because if and when Sarah found out about the line, he was about to cross with her then she may never speak to him again, "I need you to look into Sarah Lillian Reese. My ex-girlfriend. I need to know what she's happened to her over the last six years."

"Your ex –? Connor, honey, what's going on?"

He sighed. The moment he told her there would be a few more phone calls from his uncle and cousin demanding to hear an explanation from him, "Is Uncle Mal and Jake there? I would rather this interrogation happen once."

"Mommy, who's that?"

Callum looked up at Sarah curiously as they headed for the town car. Andre had stepped out and waited by the door like a silent bodyguard. Sarah frowned. She wouldn't put it past Connor to find out the man doubled as security. With practice, she pushed back the irritation she felt at having the car service foisted upon her, even if it was a giant help. It still pricked at her. She and Connor needed to speak about what type of support she would and wouldn't accept from him.

"That is Mr. Andre. He's very kind enough to drive us around today." Sarah finally answered as they neared the tall man.

He smiled widely at Callum as he leaned against her leg. Her son gazed at the driver curiously if somewhat uncertainly. She was thankful that Andre seemed to sense her boy's shyness. He spoke far more gently than she expected, "Hello."

"Hi," Callum whispered quietly, his fingers curled into her hand.

She gave him a comforting squeeze, "Mr. Andre this is my son, Callum. Callum this is Mr. Andre."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Callum," Andre replied in the same gentle manner.

It made Callum giggle as he looked up at his mom, "He called me mister, Mommy."

Andre grinned wide at her as she tried to suppress a smirk, "Yes, he did, Bug. He's being respectful and showing his good manners. Just like I hope you do too."

Callum glanced again at Andre and then pressed his face into his mother's side, hiding an embarrassed grin. She shook her head ruefully at the driver.

Andre chuckled before he murmured, "It's okay. New people make me nervous too."

He stepped to the side and gestured for them to get into the car. At his mother's gentle prodding Callum bounded forward, backpack clanging as he went, "Why is Mr. Andre driving us?"

He asked it so loudly that Sarah was sure people in the next town overheard him. She sighed, "Inside voice, Callum. I'm right next to you."

"Sorry, Mommy." Callum whispered still loud somehow, and she noticed his sly grin, "Why is Mr. Andre driving us?"

Sarah hummed slightly as her gaze turned to the driver in question. He purposefully had turned to keep his gaze on the road, trying to give them the illusion of privacy. She supposed now would be the time to test the waters with Callum, "Your daddy asked him to drive us today."

Callum froze, his big blue eyes wide as he stared at her, "Daddy?"

"Mmhmm." Sarah nodded as she watched him carefully, "He's in Chicago now."

Her little boy fidgeted, looking uncertain, "Why?"

"Because he's going to work here now." Sarah answered calmly, "But he and I talked, and he knows about you now, Baby. He would very much like to meet you. Would you like to meet him?"

To her great surprise, Callum merely shrugged and looked away. She had expected a little more excitement, a little more curiosity, given how often he liked to go through the scrapbook and look at Connor's picture.

Callum chewed on his lip and asked, "Why's he not here now?"

Sarah paused, wondering if she had erred in keeping Connor from coming after all. Maybe this meeting should have happened immediately, "I asked him not to come."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you and ask you if meeting Daddy was something you wanted. If you do, we will see him next Friday." Sarah said softly, automatically combing her fingers through his hair whether to soothe him or herself, she didn't know, "You don't have to answer right now, Baby. You can think about it for a while, okay?"

"Kay," Callum whispered, slumping against his mother again.

Sarah felt her heart clench with worry that she'd end up breaking someone's heart this week. Her arm wrapped tightly around his side, keeping him close. She didn't know what she would tell Connor if Callum didn't want to meet him. She knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"You're a friggin' idiot!"

Connor sighed and tilted his head back as his cousin censored him. It wasn't the first time Jake had said those words to him in that angry tone, he doubted it would be the last.

"Leave off of 'im. It's not easy watching someone walkway from you like that." The distinct sound of a hand hitting something hard filtered to Connor and he had to bite back a smirk, knowing Jake had just gotten slapped upside the head by his Uncle Mal.

"Ow, old man, I swear I am this close to puttin' ya in a home. He can't keep running away every time somethin' gets hard. He shoulda confronted her about the baby before he headed to greener pastures."

"Oh, like you have room to talk. You wouldn't take Nikki's calls for weeks after she served you the divorce papers."

"Guys," Connor murmured pinching the bridge of his nose. They could go on forever if he let it. Sometimes it was hard to remember they were both older than him.

And of course, giving a generalized summary of what had happened between him and Sarah had been a no-go with his extended family. Especially not from Jake who had actually met Sarah and couldn't picture the quiet, sweet brunette keeping a secret like this from him.

"Connor, are you sure you want to do this?" His uncle asked carefully, he seemed to grasp the tenuous thread that his nephew was about to pull.

"I've lost six years with her, Uncle Mal. And I know Sarah, she won't tell me what happened to her." Connor said definitively, "All her letters to me – she never once talks about herself. Just Callum. And I can ask her until I'm blue in the face, but she won't tell me. I know she won't."

"Yeah, but honey, isn't that her choice? Whether or not she wants to include you in her life? You two aren't together anymore and she may not be looking to get back together." Rose asked ever the voice of reason, "Unless you're asking us to find dirt so you can get custody."

"No," Connor replied immediately, he wasn't about to take his son from his mother. Not unless he had a really good reason to, "No, I just - I need to know she was okay, that they were both okay. I need to know if there's anything I should be worried about."

"Then you should talk to her, son," Mal said gently.

"She's not gonna tell me, Uncle Mal," Connor said again. Sarah wouldn't. He knew she wouldn't. Questions about Callum she had already proven she'd be more than happy to answer, but he had asked a simple question about her pregnancy and had never gotten an answer. She was hiding something from him. He could feel it.

"Just talk to her, you moron. Did you get a paternity?"

"Jake, I found out about Callum less than twenty-four hours ago. No, I didn't get a paternity test. I don't need to." He sighed and texted his cousin a picture of Callum.

"Whoa."

"He's your spitting image."

"He's adorable, honey."

"Yeah, he is," Connor murmured, aching for the week to pass. Photos weren't enough by far.

He didn't stay on the phone with his extended family for much longer. The whole conversation with them only made him restless. His gaze drifted over his coffee table, tracing the lines of Sarah's words and subtle shadows of all the photos – memories really. Then the hard bit of plastic of the thumb drive caught his eye and he was out of his seat and searching for his laptop.

Connor twirled the little device nervously in his hand for a second before finally finding the courage to insert it into the usb port. There were maybe fifteen or so video files and not categorized in any particular fashion. He clicked on the first.

"Who got onto his tummy all by himself?"

Sarah's voice sounded from somewhere behind the camera. Before the lens focused and a squirming baby heaved a loud grunt and yell at her. Round chubby cheeks and big blue eyes stared determinedly up at the camera. Arms and legs kicked up and down as he continued to squirm. Another loud babbling yell and his face began to turn red.

"You're gettin' mad now," Sarah murmured and the camera – her phone was placed down, but the film didn't stop. Shuffling and more grunting and cooing were heard before the lens refocused.

Callum was on his back now. Gazing up at Sarah while reaching for his foot. He rocked and a high-pitch squeal emitted happily from the little boy.

"Oh, Bug, I'm sure dogs are standing to attention from that one."

Connor chuckled.

Callum only squealed again. This time as he rocked, he rolled to his tummy and an angry yell was voiced.

Sarah laughed, "You did it, not me. Gotta roll back, Bug."

More grunts and yells before Sarah finally turned off the video.

Connor swallowed tightly and tried to ignore the burgeoning pressure building in his chest. He stared blankly at the dark screen before clicking on the next video. It started the same as the last. With Sarah talking.

"Come on, Baby. You can do it."

Callum had gotten bigger. His legs were chunky and bare as he pushed up on the blanket beneath him. His butt was in the air as he heaved himself back and forth.

It was a funny rocking motion to see an infant do, but Connor realized he was building up the strength in his arms and legs to start crawling.

Callum gave little grunts and squeals as he continued to rock in his mother's directions. His nose scrunched into a face between a scowl and a smile. He wanted Sarah, but she wasn't coming near.

"Come on, Bug. Come on."

"Ahhh! Owww!" Callum howled at her.

Then his knee kicked forward forcing his hand to do the same. His eyes widen in surprise then a rapturous yell echoed through the room as he managed a few more crawling steps before giving up and falling back to his stomach.

Sarah cheered, "You did it, Bug! You did it!"

Callum didn't care. All he knew was that mommy was too far away. His eyes crinkled and he yowled. Big fat angry tears in his eyes.

Almost immediately the video stopped, Connor could only assume she had gone to pick him up. He had his own angry tears staining his cheeks. A swirl of pride for his boy mixed bitterly with remorse at the loss of time. Watching these videos was a torment that merely drove the knife deeper into his already bleeding heart, but right then it was the only link he had to his child.

Connor clicked on the next one.

Callum bobbed back and forth on his heels as his mother dragged a fine-tooth comb through his damp locks. A faint curl had started to twist his silky strands. She really did need to get him a haircut. He bobbed forward away from her stroke, and she sighed. He was too restless and ironically overly tired. Her boy needed to go to bed.

"Alright Bug, what story are we reading tonight?" Sarah asked, frowning as he shrugged, "You want the book?"

Callum's gaze flitted to the scrapbook on the shelf before shaking his head.

Concern twisted in her gut. Callum had yet to say no to the scrapbook. She placed the comb back into the little toiletry case she kept for him before drawing his chin up to look at her, "What's the matter, Bug?"

"Nothin'." Callum shrugged again, his big blue eyes blinked at her tiredly.

Sarah tilted her head at him as she studied him, "Is this about Daddy?"

Callum didn't say anything, and she sighed before kneeling to his level, "It's okay if you're scared, you know?... about meeting Daddy. It's okay if you're curious too. Meeting him is a big thing and big things get really big feelings."

Callum scowled, his eyes filling with tears making him rub at his face in frustration. Still, he wouldn't speak, and Sarah couldn't force him to. She bit back another sigh and reached out to him. His little body all but slammed into her as his hands wrapped tightly around her neck. It took a second before she felt his tears dripping onto her skin.

She felt utterly helpless. He wasn't sobbing, but he was definitely crying. She pressed a kiss to his head, "It's okay, Bug. It's alright."

"Are you gonna leave?" Callum cried.

Sarah blinked, "What? Leave? Why would I leave?"

"Daddy's here." Callum choked out, "And you're gonna leave now. I don't want you to go. I love you, promise."

Sarah was flummoxed, unable to understand how that notion had popped into her son's head. She hefted him into her lap, and he was more than happy to let his mother cuddle him.

"I love you, too. I'm not going anywhere, Baby." Sarah soothed, "Nothing in this world could make me leave you. Not even Daddy can make me leave you."

Callum's grip didn't loosen on his mother even as she tried to reassure him.

She really didn't understand. Sarah whispered as her boy curled further into her, "Callum, come on, Bug. Why do you think Daddy being here would make me leave?"

It took a minute before she could pry Callum away from her enough to get an answer, "Y - you said you didn't - didn't trust Daddy to love you and he went away. But I love you, Mama."

She was shaken. Callum hadn't called her mama in quite some time. Sarah frowned, feeling her heart crack as she slowly pieced together her son's logic, "Do you think that I don't trust your love, Bug?"

Callum hiccupped and nodded, too upset to give a verbal answer.

"Oh, Callum." Sarah felt the sting of her own tears pierce her eyes, "I'm not sending you to Daddy. I know you love me. Daddy being here is because he wants to be here. I didn't send for him to take you away."

"P-promise?" Called asked, sniffling as he wiped at his face. One hand he kept latched to Sarah's shirt, fearful of letting go.

"Promise. Cross my heart and everything." Sarah said solemnly as she took a decision that she had wanted Callum to share in out of his hands, "We're going to meet Daddy next week. I will be with you the entire time. If you decide you want to leave early and come home then we can do that, but you come home with me. You stay with me. I'm not leaving you, Bug... Okay?"

There were several fraught long moments before her boy nodded, "Kay."

Slowly, through gentle prodding and gentle reassurances, Sarah ushered Callum into bed and tucked the covers around him. He watched her warily, not wanting her out of sight.

"Mama, don't go." He murmured.

Sarah sighed at his worry; wishing she knew how to fix this new anxiety. Callum really was too much like her at times. She brushed her lips over his forehead and eased onto the bed next to him. He nestled against her immediately. It was odd how her heart simultaneously broke and melted at the action. Her boy. Her cuddle bug.

She sucked in a breath. She needed to speak with Connor.