A/N: I know its been awhile and this chapter has a few of my favorite moments, but overall isn't my favorite. I hope to get more out soon. My job has been insane lately and writing has taken something of a back seat. Hope you all enjoy!

Bedtime Doesn't Mean Goodbye

Sarah wasn't quite sure how this had happened.

No. That wasn't true.

She knew exactly how this had happened. It was the hopeful twin sapphire gazes that had been leveled at her from across the table at Catz. She thought she had grown immune to that look, but when father and son had seen fit to attack her with it at the same time... she had been helpless.

Her thoughts were broken momentarily by the rattle of foil as she rewrapped leftovers from the Thanksgiving holiday to be placed back in the fridge. Callum's giggle echoed from the bathroom, followed by Connor's low rumble. Sarah smiled faintly at the sound and ignored the ache in her chest. A morning at the park and lunch had somehow turned into an all-day thing as she found herself reluctantly inviting Connor back to the apartment. She wasn't ready to have him in her space, but Callum...

Callum had been so happy and Connor so endearing. She hadn't been able to say no to either of them when Callum asked if he could show his father his Paw Patrol toy collection. It had only morphed from there into dinner and now Connor was giving Callum a bath. She had whiplash at how quickly Callum accepted his father. And yet... the unexpected peek into what their family might have looked like if things hadn't gotten so screwed up hurt her more than she was willing to say. Selfishly, she wished that Connor had been meaner, less inclined to know his son, or even less inclined to respect her wishes. It would hurt her less.

"I think you're turning into a prune, kiddo."

"Nooo. I'm a sud monster, Daddy!"

Sarah snorted at Callum's response as she placed the last of the silverware into the dishwasher. Her desires may have hurt her less, but it would have hurt Callum more if Connor was anybody but who he was. So, she ignored the ache in her chest and the way her stomach twisted with anxiety because Callum had spent barely an hour with his father before his gaze had turned from cautious to adoring... because her little boy was happy.

She could suck up her discomfort.

"Mommy!"

Callum's exasperated call had her pausing in her clean up as she moved sedately to the bathroom door. His towel was draped around his dripping body, and he looked scandalized while Connor looked torn between amusement and bewilderment. It was a look she sported often enough herself around her son. Children had a way of throwing parents for a loop, she had discovered.

"What's the matter, Bug?" She asked softly.

Callum huffed at her like it was obvious what the problem was, "Daddy, doesn't know how to make me into a burrito."

Sarah snorted as she watched Connor's cheeks redden and a sheepish smile twitched at his lips. She didn't think she had ever seen him blush before, she took pity on him, "Well, I guess we'll just have to teach him, Baby. Give him your towel."

Connor barely had time to move as his son's towel was chucked at his face.

"Callum!" Sarah scolded lightly though her boy's unrepentant grin told her that it hadn't taken. Connor's quiet snigger didn't help matters either. She rolled her eyes. Boys. "Turn around, Bug. You know how this goes."

Obediently, Callum turned his back to his father. He started to shiver a little as the dampness of his body met with the slight chill of the open air. Connor draped open the towel quickly as he arched a brow at Sarah, "Alright, Mom, how do we do this?"

"Okay, drape the towel over his shoulders like a cape, but keep ahold of the corners," Sarah said. Connor followed her instruction as his hands hovered awkwardly over Callum's shoulders, "Cross the corners in front of him and tie it at the back of his neck. Then we have a Callum burrito."

"Alright..." Connor drawled as he pulled the ends together. He teasingly tugged it a little tighter, making Callum gasp and wriggle before he erupted into new giggles.

"Daddy, no!"

Connor grinned, "What? Too tight?"

Callum only snorted harder with laughter as he tried to wiggle away. Sarah could only shake her head, even as a quiet laugh left her, "Go get dressed, Burrito Boy, before you get sick."

Callum quickly waddled for the door as soon as he felt the knot at his nape. Connor chuckled as he watched him go.

"PJs are on the bed," Sarah called after him as she wandered back to the kitchen.

Connor followed her, curious and hesitant. He wasn't an idiot and while nearly six years of separation had changed many of Sarah's quirks – he knew when she was uncomfortable, "Anything I can help with?"

She shook her head, "No, it's pretty much done."

He leaned against the wall, searching for something to say to break the awkwardness between them, but also taking the opportunity to study her. Aside from their one meetup at his apartment to discuss Callum, he only ever saw her at the hospital. If he were honest, the fact that she was a med-student still threw him for a fucking loop because it made him feel like the last few years hadn't happened... that she had stayed the same while the world moved on. It was deceptive and made him think that he was dealing with the aspiring college girl he had dated, but that wasn't true. And it was never truer than now as he stood in her home.

Sarah was a mother. No. She was a mom – loving and stern in equal measure. Protective – she was so, so protective. Connor hadn't missed the way she had watched him. Watched Callum. He was sure if there had been any hint of distress from their son that she would have pulled him home before he could blink. He wanted to be angry at her for it. She could trust him, but he found that it satisfied some primal part of him. He was more shocked that she had let him come home with them, but he was glad for it.

Glad for the glimpse he was receiving. There was a softness to Sarah now that she was in familiar territory. Oh, he had no doubt that her guard was still well up around him, but her edges had blunted ever so slightly. Her wild curls were down, framing her features which had turned rosy from the heat of the kitchenette. Her feet were bare as she trod about unthinkingly, already knowing where she needed to place the last of the pots and pans without having to look. She was content... she was gorgeous.

His hands twitched with the desire to smooth across her belly and tug her against him. When was the last time he had buried his face in that luscious mane of hers?

"You're staring."

Connor blinked slowly because Sarah hadn't looked up from the pot she was drying as she spoke, "Yeah..."

Whether she meant to or not, Sarah stilled as her gaze lifted to meet his in a manner that was more unintentionally seductive than innocent. She was biting her lip and he knew she was uncertain, but he didn't move. A light flush crawled to her cheeks, "Stop."

His brow arched, but he couldn't help his smirk, "What?"

"Connor..." Sarah growled warningly.

"Finished! Ice cream!" Callum cried, practically sliding across the hardwood floor to the kitchenette. The blue and green dinosaurs on his pajamas were a blur as he bounced in place. It took but a second for him to note the arched brow from his mother that meant she wasn't impressed with his demand, he turned hopeful eyes to his father as he sought an ally.

Connor's gaze twinkled with subdued mirth, "I think we've all had enough sugary goodness for one day."

The pout that curled around their son's mouth was instantaneous, "But I want ice cream."

Sarah snorted, not so much at the pathetic whine her son emitted, but from the way, she could see Connor on the verge of caving. She had the feeling that he was going to have a hard time saying no to their son for a while, "Well, you can keep wanting, Bug. No ice cream. And... it's about time for you to go to bed."

"Noooo," Callum whined, his face scrunching with displeasure.

"Yesss." Sarah parroted back as she nudged him toward the bedroom, "Do you want Daddy to read you a story before he goes?"

Her words made the little boy's eyes widen in distraught and Connor's stomach drop with disappointment. It was a stark reminder that the little fantasy he had allowed himself to fall into wasn't real. He and Sarah weren't together, and he didn't live with his son. He swallowed against the tide of discontent as he barely hid a flinch as Callum asked quietly, "You're leaving?"

He didn't want to.

Connor sighed softly as he tried to find the words that would get him and Callum through the minefield that lay before them. Already he could see his little boy's eyes swelling with disappointment... and distance.

"He has to go to his home, Bug," Sarah said gently as she knelt before Callum. Her hands framed his face as she kept his attention, "He doesn't live with us, but that doesn't mean you won't see him again."

"Tomorrow?" Callum asked so cautiously that Connor swore the crack that knocked through his heart was audible.

"Yup," Connor answered instantly, ignoring the leery glance Sarah cast him. They needed to talk. Really talk about all of the tedious, uncomfortable details they had been avoiding. Arrangements, custody, child support... all of it, "Mommy has my phone number, and you can call me as soon as you get up if you want."

Callum's gaze rolled up to his mother and she merely nodded in agreement. Still, a frown marred his lips as he grumbled, "Why can't you stay? Max's daddy lives with him."

Connor watched as Sarah moved to answer, but no words came forth. He bit back a sigh and knelt beside her, "This is yours and Mommy's space, Bud. I've been away for so long that I don't have a place to fit in yet, but that may change with time. Mommy and I need to figure things out and we'll see about making you a room at my home."

"Will Mommy have a room?" Callum whispered, no longer looking at either of his parents, but at the floor.

Connor felt Sarah stiffen before their gazes met. He wouldn't be opposed to them sharing a home. In fact, it was something he had been planning on proposing to her after Callum fell asleep, but the wariness he could see lurking in her chocolate eyes let him know that would not be a welcome suggestion...yet. He could be patient, "If she wants. You and Mommy are always welcome at mine. Now, how about that story, Bud? Want me to read to you?"

"Yeah," Callum murmured, still not looking up.

"Why don't you pick out a book, Baby?" Sarah urged with a gentle nudge, "I'll come tuck you in, in a minute and Daddy will read to you, okay?"

"Okay." Callum shuffled away with far less enthusiasm than when he had slid up to his parents. Both Sarah and Connor watched him go with their hearts a little heavier.

Their situation was a mess. There was no getting around it, but it would have been so much easier to bear if their mess only affected them... but it affected their son and that – that just made things so much harder.

"Sarah -"

"Please don't make promises to him – not big ones," Sarah murmured as she stood and tossed the dish towel she had dropped to the floor on the counter.

Connor's nostrils flared with annoyance, and he stepped in front of her as she made for the bedroom, "And please don't insinuate that I won't be here for my son."

It was surreal how quickly the mood between them could change. Their comfortable silence, now fraught with tension that needed to be released. The stare Sarah leveled at him was one that he didn't understand. It was blank and distant. Impenetrable. It made him want to growl and shake her. He wasn't a stranger to her; she did not get to hide from him. Not anymore. If they were going to deal with everything, then they needed to deal.

Sarah heaved a sigh, "I know you mean well, Connor... but I need you to be careful with him. I don't need him to get his hopes over something that will likely not happen."

"And what exactly isn't going to happen, Sarah?" He gritted out.

Her hand tightened over his and Connor was startled to realize that he was gripping her hip. He didn't have any recollection of reaching for her. The touch brought him back to himself and something like understanding, even if it looked pained, crossed Sarah's features, "Let's have this talk after he's asleep, okay?"

It took him a minute to remember how to let her go, but he did eventually. Connor nodded mutely as he stood back to allow her to pass.

He hovered in the doorway as Sarah made for the bed. Callum had already climbed in and shuffled over to the far side of what Connor was now realizing was a full-size bed. He hadn't put much thought into it earlier. The apartment was small but cozy. For some odd reason, it was only now dawning on him that it was a one-bedroom. He had to wonder if that was why Callum had asked about Sarah getting her own room.

Sarah reached over and shifted his pillow as she bade their son to lie. A stuffed monkey suddenly made an appearance as she sorted the covers over him. A smile too soft to describe crossed her lips and Connor for a second forgot his irritation as she asked lowly, "Snug?"

"As a bug," Callum replied with a small grin as she pressed a kiss to his crown.

"Love you, Cuddle-Bug." Sarah murmured fondly as she passed the book he had chosen to Connor, "Night."

"Good night, Mommy." Callum echoed watching her closely as she stepped away, "Love you."

Sarah took up Connor's spot in the doorway as she watched him settle next to Callum. A shy curiosity crossed her boy's features as his father flipped open his book, "Daddy?"

"Yeah, Bud?" Connor answered quietly. A question was perched on the tip of the boy's tongue, anyone could see it, but as Callum met his father's kind gaze, he seemed to lose his nerve. Connor prodded, "Callum?"

He shook his head, gaze briefly flickering to his mother, "Nothin'."

Sarah stilled, feeling slightly stricken as she realized that Callum didn't want to voice his question in front of her. She bit her lip as she curbed the urge to tell her son that he could say anything he wanted in front of her. He was safe with her, but she understood better than anyone that sometimes it was easier to talk to a stranger. Internally, she cringed at the reminder that Connor was still very much a stranger to his son.

She swallowed tightly and nodded to Connor as she stepped back to allow the boys some privacy. The door to the bedroom remained open as she pulled out a leftover bottle of wine from Thanksgiving and poured a glass. She was going to need it if she and Connor ended up acknowledging the troop of elephants that marched between them.

Callum kept silent as Connor tried to goad him into speaking again. A few minutes passed and she heard Connor reciting the all too familiar opening to Peter Pan.

"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up. And the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked..."

Connor got maybe five pages in before Callum drowsily murmured, "Daddy?"

He looked up from the page to see his son fighting sleep. His eyelids could be held up with toothpicks by how hard he was blinking, "Yeah?"

"Do you love me?" Callum whispered, already half asleep.

God, this kid was going to kill him. His throat tightened, but the answer was easy, "Yes... Yes, I do."

He had fallen in love with Callum the moment he saw the ultrasound in Sarah's letter and that feeling had only gotten stronger with every word he had read and every video he had watched.

"Really?"

"More and more with every breath I breathe, kiddo." Connor murmured as he placed the book aside to focus fully on his little boy, "Is that what you wanted to ask me earlier?"

"...Yeah." Callum yawned and half buried his face in his pillow, "Do you love Mommy?"

Now that was an infinitely complicated question. His feelings for Sarah were a fishing net trapped in a coral reef and smothered by seaweed. Encapsulating something fragile and beautiful but removing that net would mean incurring some painful tears, and already he was drowning.

He chose his words carefully, "I love Mommy for giving me you."

Amusedly, a sullen glare befell his son that was all Sarah and made Connor smile, even as Callum said, "That's what Mommy says."

"Mmm, I'm sure she does." Connor murmured as he tucked the comforter a little higher over Callum, "Close your eyes, Bud. Time to sleep."

"Do you have to go?" Callum whined quietly.

No.

Connor swallowed the word back as he hesitantly ran his fingers through his son's damp hair, giving him the chance to pull away if he was uncomfortable. Yet, like a cat, Callum nuzzled closer into the touch. The rush of affection that swept through Connor was dizzying, "Yeah... I do, Bud... but you'll see me tomorrow.

Callum stared solemnly at his father as he whispered, "Promise?"

"Promise." Connor swore, "Now close your eyes."

Callum almost unwillingly followed his father's instructions, the pull of sleep too hard to fight, "Night, Daddy."

"Good night, Bud," Connor whispered, smiling as the faint wisp of Callum's even breaths quickly filled the air.

He crept as quietly as he could from the room, reluctant to leave. Connor imprinted the peacefully sleeping face of his little boy into his mind as he turned to the warm glow coming from the living room. Sarah had curled onto the couch with her phone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. The side table held a second glass for him. He would have preferred a whiskey, but wine would do. He swiped it up as he took the other end of the couch.

"He's asleep. Was out pretty fast once he closed his eyes." Connor said.

Sarah clicked off her phone and hummed, "Not surprised. Today was a big day for him... for all of us."

"Mmm." Connor grunted in quiet agreement, "He's amazing, Sarah. Beautiful and bright and just..."

"Everything." She finished softly, her gaze knowing as he regarded her.

"Yeah" Connor breathed, "He's you, ya know? He's just like you."

That made Sarah snort as she shook her head, "No, he's very much his own person. He reminds me of you – he has your curiosity. Both of our stubbornness."

Connor cracked a smile because he could see that. A mulish glint had entered Callum's gaze a few times that Connor recognized well from seeing it in himself. Luckily, he seemed to have some of Sarah's tact as the glint hadn't lasted long. She always knew when to pick and choose her fights.

But Connor had also heard the pointedness of her last statement. He placed his wine back down and turned to her in the same manner that he had to Callum, "Before we dig into this. Thank you."

Sarah's brow furrowed at the unexpected gratitude. Barely patient, always irritated, Connor was the person she had become used to dealing with the past few weeks and who she expected to be present now.

He smirked ruefully at her confusion, "You could have ended our meeting at any point today. Especially with how upset he was this morning at the park, but you didn't. You let me into your home, our son's home. You let me help take care of him. You let me be his dad."

"You are his dad." Sarah breathed, "I know that I haven't made this easy for you, Connor. That I've asked you to be patient and you have been. I always wanted you to be a part of his life, it's why I never stopped writing. If I had been less of a basket-case, you would have been there from the start."

A pained smile crossed Connor's lips as he whispered, "You know he asked me if I loved him. And I do. Already and so much that it actually hurts. And I gotta tell you, Sarah, part of me hates you. I can't get rid of this – this sense of betrayal. Before it was because you never told me you were pregnant before you went to that clinic and now... now, I feel like you kept him from me."

Sharp tears pricked at the corners of Sarah's eyes like small daggers, unassailable and insistent, but valiantly she held them back. She knew she needed to let him have this.

Connor swallowed hard, "Look, I know you're protecting him -"

"And me," Sarah admitted cutting him off and she felt her stomach flip at his sharp look. There was too much and too little to unpack from his gaze, "We've spent more time apart than we ever have together. I know that I'm not the same girl that you dated. I know you're not the same guy. We're effectively strangers -"

"Like hell we are." Connor growled, "You know me -"

"I knew you." Sarah corrected instantly, "I knew the guy who sent me a flirty text and then watched me freak out over responding to it without letting me know he was there. I knew the guy who would turn on my coffee maker after doing a night rotation at the hospital to wake me up before stealing my covers. I knew him. I don't know the person you've become – what brought you back to a city I know you hated? The confident surgeon who I see every day? I don't know you anymore, Connor."

"I'm still that guy, just a little more broken and with a hell of a lot more medical experience." He asserted with a firmness that felt nearly tangible, "If I had known about Callum then, I wouldn't have left your side for anything. And now that I do, I am just as committed to being here. You're not getting rid of me, Sarah."

"Good, because he needs you. But Connor, I swear to God, you hurt my son? You make me regret for one second letting this happen? It'll be years before they dredge your body from Lake Michigan." There was no denying the seriousness of her vow. The fierce flash of her threat burned bright, and Connor was sure he needed to get his head examined for how much it aroused him.

A primal bleat of pride coursed through his veins, but he couldn't stop the touch of censor in his tone as he said, "Our son. And I'll gladly let you drown me if I ever do."

Sarah shook her head at him, but settled her wine glass next to his as she finally asked, "So how do you want to do this? A formal custody agreement?"

Connor shook his head, "I don't think that's necessary... But if it makes you more comfortable -"

"Honestly, none of this makes me comfortable." Sarah murmured, chewing the bottom of her lip, "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad Callum gets to have you in his life. I know what it's like not having a father, but it's been me and him for so long. Connor, you're going to need to have patience with me."

"You did fine today." He offered, and her droll stare let him know how she felt about that, and he cracked a smile, "You never were good at sharing."

Sarah snorted, "You're one to talk."

"Sharing would be easier if we lived together," Connor murmured lightly, as he watched her intently.

"That's not a good idea. -"

"Why not?"

"You know why not." Sarah said softly, her stomach twisting with unease even as her heart thumped with a strange brew of hope and terror, "You just admitted that you hate me, Connor. Not exactly conducive for cohabitation. And I can't blame you – God knows, I felt the same way about you for a long time."

Connor twitched in surprise, though he wasn't sure why. He had disappeared knowing she had wanted to see him – to talk to him, explain. He swallowed tightly, "I said part of me hates you and I'll get over it. I don't want to miss any more with him."

"I get that," Sarah said. A sadness permeated her gaze that made his stomach drop again, "But we need boundaries, and space while we figure out how to co-parent might not be a bad thing."

"I think it's a shit thing."

"Connor."

"Sarah, you're living in a one-bedroom apartment with our son. He isn't going to stay this small forever." He pointed out because, despite the fact that he actually liked the cozy home she had made, it wouldn't take long before their needs outgrew their space, "Do you sleep next to him or on the floor?"

Sarah glared, "The couch pulls out, but sometimes I do share the bed if I'm too tired to set this one up. And I don't plan on living here forever. I never did. I just need to graduate first and figure out where my residency will happen before I can start looking for a new home."

Connor had forgotten she still needed to be matched. She could be sent anywhere. Callum going with her, "Then maybe we should visit the possibility of looking for a house together when you graduate."

Sarah moved to protest again, but he held up his hand, "Just think about it, please. It does make coordinating his care easier."

"And a personal life harder." Sarah pointed out sagely, "How are you going to bring a woman around when you have your ex and son living with you."

Connor scoffed, "Of all the reasons not to live together that is beyond low on the list. Or is that why you don't want to. Seeing someone?"

"Not that it's your business, but no." Sarah said, sipping her wine, "Not many men go for the neurotic single mom fighting for a career."

"Idiots." Connor offered, stodgily ignoring the small gem of pleasure at her words. Now wasn't the time to touch upon them potentially dating again. He sighed, flopping his head back against the couch like a sulky teenager, "Okay. We should make a schedule. I want to be his dad. I want to be part of everything. Picking him up from school or taking him. Watching him when you can't. Providing for him, for both of you."

"For him." Sarah cut in quickly, "I don't need you taking care of me. The car service grates enough as it is."

Connor turned his head to her, already planning on ignoring that decree, "Could buy you a car."

Sarah huffed, glowering tiredly, "Connor."

Connor grinned insincerely and Sarah sighed. It was going to be a long night.

"Mommy."

Sarah grunted, burrowing her face further into the fuzzy cotton of her pillow.

"Mommy."

Something hard and dull prodded the plush of her cheek and she grunted again, squirming away as her eyes fluttered open. Expectant sapphire eyes that were too alert and impatient watched her. It was all Sarah needed to see to know she wasn't being woken for an emergency as she scolded, "Callum, it's very rude to wake someone like that. What do you need, Baby?"

Callum scrambled onto the pull-out bed as she rolled to her back, snuggling against her side, "Can we call Daddy?"

Sarah blinked, holding in a sigh as her arm instinctively wrapped around her son. By the dim, barely-there sparkle of light coming in through the window, she knew it was early... probably too early for phone calls, "Daddy may still be asleep, Baby."

"...So." Callum drawled, chewing on his lip.

She soothed a hand through his soft locks as she studied her son's anxious face. She hadn't had the chance yesterday to ask him about Connor, but his desire to see his father first thing was telling. She breathed out softly, "You had a good time with Daddy yesterday, huh?"

Callum fidgeted before nodding his head, "Yeah."

"I'm glad," Sarah said.

Her little boy merely stared at her, "Can we call him?" Belatedly, he tacked on, "Please..."

The sigh she had held in finally found life. She reached around him for her phone and winced as she noted that it was barely even seven, "I'll text him. If he's awake, then he'll call. Okay?"

Callum scowled but didn't argue as he anxiously peered at the screen while his mother typed.

Hey, you awake? Someone wants to say good morning.

Sarah hit send and laid her phone on Callum's lap as she settled back into her pillows, "Watch it for a message, okay?"

"Kay," Callum mumbled; his eyes glued to the phone as his mother dozed.

She jerked in surprise a moment later as her phone started ringing. She had never known Connor to be an early riser, but as she peered over Callum's shoulder there was no denying the name flashing on her screen or the request for a video chat.

"Mommy!"

Right.

Her thumb swiped across the screen and mother and son were greeted by a blurry-eyed scruffy surgeon as he curled more comfortably over his pillow. Sarah hid a smirk, even as a thread of guilty exasperation twisted in her chest. They had woken him.

Yet as Callum eagerly leaned forward, a sleepy fond smile spread across Connor's lips, "Morning, Bud."

A pleased little hiccup escaped their boy as he beamed at his father. His voice was a shy whisper, "Morning, Daddy."

Almost immediately he pressed his face into Sarah, but she could feel his large smile. Connor and Sarah exchanged grins of their own as she took over the conversation, "Morning. Didn't mean to wake you."

Connor arched a brow, "Told you to call. Looks like I'm not the only one to get a wake-up call though."

She could only imagine how bad her bedhead was – an errant curl fell in her face. Sarah yawned as she felt Callum shift to peer back at the phone again. She patted his head as she murmured, "Yeah, well, someone was too excited to wait for me to wake up properly."

"Can you come over?" Callum blurted, unknowingly supporting his mother's assessment of his exuberance and impatience.

Connor looked like he was biting back a laugh as he turned a questioning gaze on Sarah, "That alright?"

Sarah nodded, "Yeah, don't be surprised if we're still in our PJs though."

"Don't be surprised if I'm in mine. I'll bring coffee." Connor returned before his smile turned gentle and she realized he was watching their son who was practically vibrating against her, "I'll see you in a little bit, Bud."

"Bless you." Sarah murmured as Callum grinned and cried, "Bye, Daddy!"

She ended the call even as her son continued to stare at the screen anxiously. Sarah swallowed another yawn and mentally began to prepare herself for co-parenting attempt round two. She and Connor could figure this out. They had to.