Another chance!
When Taylor woke up the next morning and discovered Ridge next to her, she had a strange feeling in her guts. An emotional rollercoaster raged inside her. The memory of last night came back to her mind. She didn't quite understand how it could have come to this point, that they had made love and more, she didn't know how to deal with it. Her eyes fell on Ridge, who was still fast asleep. She couldn't help but notice a tingling in her stomach. The feeling had been great to be in his arms again, to be kissed and touched by him. She had felt the same as in the past, but now the morning after, all her euphoria had faded. She was almost relieved when she heard a soft squeak from the baby monitor, giving her a reason to sneak out of the room. She grabbed her robe and walked over to the nursery.
"Hey Jack, are you up yet? Did you sleep well?" While she changed Jack and got him ready, she played and goofed around with him, trying not to think about the events of the previous night. Jack was in extremely good spirits this morning, He laughed and shrieked with glee. Taylor secretly envied him, as a baby the world could be so easy and simple.
"Oh Jack, why does it always have to be so complicated as an adult?" She went with him to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She was feeding Jack when Ridge entered the kitchen. They exchanged uncertain glances. Ridge had been very irritated when he had woken up and to find that Taylor was gone. He was visibly confused and distraught. He sat down, nervously he addressed her.
"Good morning, did you sleep well?"
"Yes thank you!" She hardly dared to look at him.
"I didn't even notice when you left the room?!" Taylor's cheeks flushed.
"I didn't want to disturb you, Jack woke up and you know how he gets when he's hungry and wants his breakfast. Right Jack?!" Indeed, Jack had a big appetite and knocked on the table every time his mother wasn't quick enough with the next spoonful. Throughout the rest of breakfast, Ridge and Taylor stayed silent and all the conversation was carried by Jack, who babbled in his baby talk.
Later, Ridge got ready for work. Jack came crawling after him, lately he had discovered a new favorite game. He loved to sit on his father's foot so he could drag him around. As Jack again clung to his pant leg, Ridge lifted him up in his arms.
"Hey little guy, you want to go to the office today?" Jack wiggled his head enthusiastically and snuggled up to his father. Ridge informed Taylor he would take Jack with him, she didn't object.
"It's fine, I'll come in the afternoon to pick him up!"
"Okay!" Without another word, Ridge left with his son. After they were gone, Taylor sank down on the couch and sighed deeply. She had hardly been able to stand the tense atmosphere. She wondered how it was going to be in the future. So far, living together with Ridge had been extremely harmonious; they had been quite relaxed with each other. Taylor feared that this was over now. More so, she even feared the situation could become so intolerable that Ridge might even move out again. Taylor urgently needed to talk to someone about this whole mess, and the only person that came to her mind was Felicia. So she reached for her cell phone to call her. She begged Felicia to meet her for some coffee. Felicia suspected something was wrong with Taylor and immediately agreed. So Taylor got ready very fast and a short time later she arrived at the café, where Felicia was already waiting for her.
"Hi. I hope I didn't keep you from anything important?"
"No, on the contrary, I was really happy to get your call. Because I have a day off today and I didn't quite know what to do this morning. But now tell me what's going on? You sounded so stressed on the phone." Taylor suddenly became highly embarrassed, she didn't even know where to start at all.
"Oh, it's all so complicated! I don't know where to start!"
"Well for the best right from the beginning. No matter what it is, you know you can talk to me about anything. So, just spit it out!"
"Ridge and I made love!" Felicia, who had just drunk some of her orange juice, choked and had a coughing fit.
"What?" she gasped out.
"Well Ridge and I spent the night together." Felicia's eyes went wide, confused she tried to sort the news.
"But how? I thought you weren't together! You always told me you are just good friends!"
"Well, we are….actually... in principle. I don't know either!" She hid her face in her hands. Felicia had to collect herself first, this info had blown her mind, even if she wasn't too surprised.
"Okay, let's get this straight! What exactly happened?" Taylor told her everything about last night, their dinner and the movie.
"...and then just for fun he wanted to escort me all the way to my bedroom and there we were goofing around and then somehow it happened."
"Somehow? Just like this? Who of you took the initiative?" asked Felicia curiously.
"He..I think...or it could have been me, I don't remember, it all happened so fast."
"And now? I mean, where do you go from here?"
"That's exactly what I don't know! I have no idea what to do now, I don't even know what to feel or think anymore! It's all so confusing and overwhelming."
"What did Ridge say about that? You guys talked this morning, right?"
"Honestly, no! Ridge was still asleep when Jack woke up. I snuck out of the room and we didn't really talk at breakfast either. I have no idea what Ridge is thinking or what's going on inside him!" Felicia stared at her, stunned and shook her head. She couldn't understand why the two of them were giving each other such a hard time and made everything so complicated. In her eyes, the matter was pretty simple. She had noticed over the last few weeks that the two of them had grown closer and were very familiar with each other. It was perfectly clear to her that they still had feelings for each other.
"You need to talk to him and work it out!" Felicia urged her forcefully.
"I know that too, but first I need to be clear about my own feelings!"
"The thing is really simple, are you still in love with Ridge?" Taylor didn't know what to say..
"I don't know...I mean...he's a very important person in my life and I feel very connected to him. He is the father of my children and we share a long history. so many great moments, of course also times that weren't so great. I feel comfortable with him, I like his closeness and he still has that certain charm that makes me melt away. I know when it comes down to it, we are always there for each other and I can always rely on him and he is one of the people who knows me best. Last night...it was so magical to be with him, there was this familiarity and trust between us and in that moment it just felt right..."
"You love him! Why don't you just admit it!" retorted Felicia, grinning mischievously.
"Yes, fine I love him! I've always loved him and I always will, but even so! Who says Ridge even loves me anymore?! I mean back then he left me for Brooke! I'm sure he doesn't love me anymore, at least not in a romantic way. In the years where I was gone, his love for me had changed. Since then, Brooke has always been the woman in his heart and to some extent she was it also before."
"That's true, but Brooke isn't the issue now! He hasn't been with her for a long time and I'm hundred percent sure he'll never want anything to do with her again."
"Yes, that's possible but it still doesn't mean that he is in love with me now and wants to be with me and I definitely don't want to be just some kind of a rebound for him!"
"I think you should give Ridge more credit! I think he does care about you deeply otherwise he wouldn't have slept with you. I know my brother, he's a playboy and a womanizer, but I can't imagine him just going to bed with you without any feelings, not with you!"
"Actually I don't wanna believe it either but maybe it was an 'one time only' thing for him, a flash in the pan that came out of the heat of the moment, nothing more."
"As I said, I still think you should talk with Ridge and clarify the situation so you know where you stand. You can't just ignore this, neither of you will be happy with that. You need to tell him how you feel about him!"
"No, I can't!" said Taylor very adamantly. "Imagine if I confess my love to him and then if he doesn't feel the same way about me, then we're right back to where we were before. Then the whole situation becomes even more unbearable for all of us. It could ruin everything we have right now! And it's not just about us, it's about Jack there too. For example, what if Ridge doesn't feel comfortable living with me any longer and decides to move out. I'm sure Jack would be very devastated if his dad would leave again, he enjoys it so much to have both of us around all the time. I can't rip him out of that stability!" Taylor thought very hard, all at once she knew what she had to do. "I'm going to talk to Ridge and explain to him that this story doesn't mean anything to me, it was just the heat of the moment. I mean, we spent one night together, no big deal, it happens every day all over the world!" Taylor stood up, she was sure this was the best solution for everyone; for Jack, for Ridge and also herself. "I have to go now, thanks for listening!"
"You're welcome!" Felicia watched her go, shaking her head; in her opinion, Taylor was about to make a huge mistake.
Ridge, meanwhile, sat with Jack in his office. He couldn't get the previous night out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. All the time he mused about Taylor's dismissive behavior. He hadn't expected her to practically give him the cold shoulder after what happened between them. It irritated and rattled him even more and he didn't know how he should react now. His gaze fell on the family portrait that stood on his desk. As he looked at it, images of their shared past appeared in his mind's eye. Moments when Thomas and the girls were little. He remembered the weddings and the times of their first marriage and that one week in Saint Thomas. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even hear the knock on his door.
"Hi Ridge, do you have a moment?" Thorne had come into his office, but Ridge took no notice of his brother. He was still in his own world. "Hey Ridge, can you hear me?" The latter started up, startled.
"Thorne, what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. The question should be, where were you right now?"
"I was just thinking about something!" Thorne came over his desk and spotted the picture in his hand.
"It's a really nice picture of all of you."
"Yes, it is! That was such a beautiful evening. Taylor, me and the kids!"
"You guys really look like one big happy family."
"Well, we are one big happy family!"
"Sure you're all family, but you're not a real family, not in the traditional way. I mean, you and Taylor aren't together or has that changed?"
"No, of course not! That means..." Ridge fell silent, quite embarrassed, and Thorne noticed his absent expression again.
"What does that mean? Has anything changed about your relationship with Taylor or not?" Thorne was extremely curious now. Like Felicia he also had recognized that Taylor and Ridge had recently become much closer again and were very intimate with each other. Taylor was still very important to him and he certainly didn't want Ridge playing his games with her again.
"No, no...nothing has changed...that is...I mean Taylor and I have been kind of getting closer lately. You know, through the whole disaster with Brooke, the abduction, the difficult time we've had with Jack and all of that. All these events bonded us together. Taylor is a remarkable, unique woman, when I see her loving and patient caring for Jack, it makes my heart soar every time. I enjoy living with her and Jack. It feels good to have a home, to know there is someone waiting for you to get home and who is happy to see you. It's nice to have someone to spend my evenings with." Thorne looked skeptically at Ridge.
"That sounds like you have feelings for her again!" Ridge suddenly blushed.
"What makes you think that? Even if I did, it's none of your business my little brother!" Thorne smirked. That was typical for Ridge, whenever someone got too close to him, he shut himself down. "What did you want to talk to me about anyway?" Ridge tried to distract his brother.
"Oh that's not important, your mind seems to be somewhere else right now!" Thorne was about to leave the office again. He turned around once more.
"I know it's none of my business Ridge, but whatever you're going to do, don't hurt Taylor again! She's been through enough in the last few years and she doesn't deserve to come under your wheels again!"
"What are you trying to say? Of course I'm not going to hurt her, I never meant to hurt her!" Thorne raised his eyebrows and gave Ridge a definite look. He left, Ridge called after him.
"I know Taylor is a wonderful woman and she deserves only the best!" His gaze drifted to his son, who was happily playing on his blanket.
"Oh Jack, do you realize how lucky you can be? You should enjoy the years when everything is still so simple and easy. Life as an adult is going to be hard enough!" Ridge grabbed the family portrait again and dove back into his memories.
Taylor was on her way to pick up Jack. She hoped now that she had made a decision, she would manage to get back to a normal interaction with him. However, her heart was pounding pretty hard as she approached his office. Just before she entered, she took another deep breath.
"Calm down! You'll be fine!" She knocked and scurried into the office
"Yoo-hoo, here I am!"
"Hey Doc, glad you're here!" Ridge stepped up to her and gave her a peck on the cheek. When Ridge addressed her by her pet name, a shiver went through her, however she tried to remain calm on the outside. Gently she freed herself from the embrace, she knelt by her son. "Have you been waiting for me, Jack?"
"Well I think he had a great time!"
"Yes?! Have you been busy helping daddy with his work?"
"Well, you can't exactly say that!" replied Ridge, giving a sigh.
"Oh, did you turn the whole place upside down again, you little rascal?!"
"That's more like it, in any case he distracted me from my work quite a bit!"
"Really?! You should be proud of yourself, Jack. Not many people can do that, keep your father away from his work!" She cast a grinning sideways glance over at Ridge.
"Haha, very funny!" Taylor lifted Jack up on her arm
"Well then, I will relieve you of this little disturbance here. I don't want to be responsible for Forrester Creation going out of business because of our son!"
"Hopefully it won't come to that!" Taylor was about to leave when she remembered something else.
"What time are you coming home tonight?"
"I don't know yet. I've got mountains of work here. Why do you ask?"
"No specific reason, I want to make lasagna for dinner..."
"Well, in that case, I'll be home in time for dinner. Don't you dare start without me!"
"We'll be careful, right Jack?! See you later!"
"See you later!" After Taylor left with Jack, Ridge watched her thoughtfully. True, she had been more relaxed with him than she had been this morning. But still, there was something strange in her demeanor, and there had been such an odd look in her eyes.
"Women will always stay a mystery to me!" moaned Ridge to himself.
As he said, Ridge showed up on time for dinner. Even after Jack had been gone, he had barely managed to get his work done. The situation with him and Taylor had been on his mind the whole time and he hadn't been able to concentrate on anything. At dinner, both Taylor and Ridge struggled to maintain an unbiased tone. Ridge told her what Jack had done back at the office.
"I was outside with Pam for just a moment and when I came back, he had ripped all the clothes off the rack and was buried under a mountain of party dresses!" Taylor laughed at this story.
"There's really nothing safe from him right now!"
"And what have you been doing with your free time?"
"I met with Felicia, she had her day off."
"I see, how's she doing? I hardly see her at the moment." "Pretty good I guess..." Taylor didn't really know the answer to that question. She had talked to Felicia exclusively about Ridge and herself, but of course she couldn't tell him that. She quickly made an effort to change the subject.
Later, Ridge sat in the living room flipping through a fashion magazine. That's when Taylor came into the room and flopped down on the couch, exhausted.
"Well, is our little adventurer finally asleep?"
"Yes, thank God! Three lullabies and the story of the three little bunnies twice. Then he finally fell over. I just want to have his energy for one day!" Ridge chuckled, walking over to the bar.
"Would you like a drink too?"
"Yeah sure!" he returned with a glass of wine for himself and a glass of homemade lemonade for her. Their eyes met. They both knew now was the time to talk about the subject that had been bothering them both all day.
Neither of them quite knew how to begin. Finally, Taylor collected herself and gave herself a jolt. She firmly resolved to stick to her decision and tell Ridge what needed to be said. She hoped that would settle the issue.
"Um Ridge, I wanted to talk to you…about last night..."
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you too. I have something to tell you!"
"Please let me start!"
"Okay, go ahead Doc!" Taylor took another deep breath.
"I don't think we should make a big deal out of what happened between us last night. We just had a moment of weakness and let it carry us away. But I think we both know it doesn't have an important significance to you or me in any way. We should just draw a line under it and act like nothing happened. I mean, we're both adults and should be able to deal with it rationally! We should just move on with our living agreement the way we have been." Ridge stared at her, stunned. This was not at all what he had expected. He couldn't believe hearing those words out of her mouth. He was completely shocked and confused, then he noticed that Taylor was visibly anxious. She was shaking, nervously playing with her fingers and while she had spoken, she hadn't even been able to look him in the eye. Taylor, on the other hand, had said what she had to say. Now she just wanted to get away as quickly as possible, because she didn't know how much longer she could stand firm. "You will excuse me, but I still have some accounts to take care of." She jumped up from the couch, but Ridge held her back.
"Taylor, wait! Please stay!" He urged her back onto the couch, Taylor growing restless. "Look at me!"
"Ridge, what are you doing?" Taylor sighed, barely managing to meet his gaze.
"I don't believe a word you just said! I know you well enough and I know what just came out of your mouth wasn't you!" Taylor was almost in tears now.
"Ridge, please just let it go!"
"No, I want to know what's really going on inside you. You've been so dismissive this morning and now you want to tell me that our night together meant nothing to you! You can tell that to whoever you want, but not to me!" Taylor was getting more and more tense, she was close to despair. With each passing minute, she was afraid to cave in and reveal her true feelings to Ridge.
"I don't know what you want to hear from me, Ridge, I can't tell you anything else!"
"I know exactly what you're doing! You're convinced that last night had no greater meaning to me, that it was just the heat of the moment. So you're pretending to see it the same way to give me a chance to get out of the situation gracefully!" Taylor turned pale. She started to stutter.
"I just want what's best for Jack, for you, and for all of us! I mean, it's fine the way it is, and we shouldn't jeopardize that!" Ridge stroked her cheek and held her face.
"And what about you? How do you feel?"
"That's not the point! My feelings are irrelevant because if we're honest, we both know you don't love me anymore! In the time I've been gone, your love for me has changed. You see in me only the mother of your children, maybe you also see me as a friend, but nothing more! In the last few years your heart has belonged to Brooke. You made it pretty clear that she was the woman of your life, and even if you don't love any longer and I sincerely hope you don't, I don't want to be a rebound for you. I don't want to be your second choice, I've been in that position enough times, I'm past that!" Her last comment struck Ridge deeply, guiltily he lowered his head.
"I know I have hurt you badly and I realize I haven't treated you nearly as you deserve it and there is no excuse or justification for it. And yes you are right, I believed for a long time that Brooke is the love of my life and I only had this one big desire; to be happy with her. But after everything that has happened, over the last few years and especially recently I have realized that it was all just a fantasy. I have given myself to an illusion that would never have become reality, I realize that now! Most of all, I realize that I've been clinging to this fantasy so much that I've completely lost sight of what I have in you and our family." Taylor's breath caught, her heart began to pound violently.
"What are you saying, Ridge?"
"You and the kids, you are the most important thing in the world to me! I enjoy every moment I spend with you and Jack. It always makes me feel like I'm home, I can just let myself go and it feels right and that's mostly because of you! I have realized in the last few months what a unique and magnificent woman you are and it reminded me why I fell in love with you all those years ago! My feelings for you are much more than just friendly and you are much more to me than the mother of my children! I love you, Doc!" Taylor swallowed, she was completely speechless. Ridge took her in his arms. "You can believe it, it's true! I could give you a million reasons why I love you, but I think the main reason is your big heart. When I'm with you, I can feel and sense your love! You always make me feel comfortable" Taylor sank into his arms. She caressed his face and his hair.
"Oh Ridge, I love you too! Forget everything I said earlier. I always loved you and I always will. I cherish every moment I get to spend with you and the kids and I want nothing more than for us to be a family again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you! But..." He put a finger to her lips.
"I know you're scared and I know I can't expect you to trust me just like this! All I ask is that you give us another chance and give me a chance to prove to you how much I love you, that you are the woman I want to be with!"
"The only thing I want Ridge, is for you to guarantee me I'm the only woman for you. I don't want to share your heart again and I want you to be honest with me!"
"I swear! I swear there is no other woman in the world I would rather be with!"
"Ridge, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say this. I love you! I love you so much!"
"I love you too!" He wrapped her tightly in his arms, they started touching and caressing each other. They kept kissing softly, intimately and full of love. They both knew it would take time to form a secure and strong relationship and that they still had some issues to work on, but at that very moment they were just happy they found each other again.