The thing about Skye
It takes her a while to adjust
Living on a spaceship is a lot like living on a plane. Only, when in space, it always looks like night time no matter where you fly or how long your clocks tick by. The only way Daisy can tell the passing of 'days' is when the spacecraft slowly grows quieter and she's left the only one in the control bay.
It really screws with Daisy's perception of time, even more so than it did when on Earth and sometimes it was 2am at a physical location but 12pm internally. Daisy never was good at keeping an internal clock, so she relies very heavily on those around her most of the time.
The main difference of being in a spacecraft, though, is that Daisy didn't have her powers when she lived on a plane, and she's really regretting agreeing to this space adventure now.
Living on a spaceship in space is like screaming into a megaphone in a cave that is also surrounded by metal walls. The ship is alive with vibrations, only they don't disperse outward. They are reflected back and magnified and get reflected again, and it's one deafening, endless loop of noise. Except it's not actually sound - it's more of a feeling- an extra sense that's hard to express- but the closest word for Daisy to describe it is loud.
It's overwhelming actually, but at least Daisy hasn't gotten a nose bleed in a few days. She thought that her body was finally adjusting until not too long ago when her nearly constant headache spiked to feeling like she's dying. It's sensory overload in the literal sense as resonance floods her systems and senses. It's just too much information being shouted at her over and over again.
Daisy clutches her hands over her ears even though she knows that it won't help- it's not an actual sound- but it's so loud . The whole ship is alive and buzzing and reflecting back at Daisy because it has nowhere else to disperse. And Daisy can't release it because they are in space and it would destroy the ship and kill everyone on board.
And her damn powers keep reaching out, because Daisy's in pain , looking for the familiar vibrations of her team, but they're not here . They're not a team anymore and Daisy thought it was a good idea to go off into space with grandeur designs of growth and proving to herself she's not codependent, only she is codependent because her powers keep seeking out people that aren't there, sending more vibrations out into this echoing container of pain, causing her more pain, and making her powers search out even more frantically for the people she normally seeks out when she can't handle life which is all the time . It's an endless loop and Daisy doesn't have the mental capacity or strength to stop because she hurts, damn it, and she's an idiot for ever thinking this was a good idea.
Daisy just wants to go home. She wants her family. She wants FitzSimmons cuddles and Mack hugs and May headpets and Coulson forcing everyone into family dinner (only he's not actually forcing anyone because everyone only pretends they have better things to do), and she wants to find Bobbi and Hunter making out in the most bizarre places only for them to stop and snuggle her instead in apology for traumatizing her.
She wants her stupid head to stop hurting.
"Daisy?"
Daisy whimpers, digging her fingers harder into her temples as tears slide down her face and teeter on the edge of her clenched jaw.
Daisy cracks her eyes open, wondering if it's 'morning' already and people are going to be coming into the command center soon. She should probably drag herself out of the middle of the floor if that's the case.
"Hey," Daisy hisses, grimacing at her… sister. "Is it time for everyone to start getting up?"
"No, you still have a few hours. I couldn't sleep." Kora observes Daisy from across the room, a tilt of concern to her lips. "Your powers again?" She asks, tiptoeing closer to lesson the riverbating vibrations her steps cause. She hesitates a few feet away.
"It's fine," Daisy grits her teeth, only it's not fine. It feels like she's dying, and she doesn't want to talk- wants Kora to just leave her in her misery even as her powers seek out other people. Kora isn't who she wants here with her, no matter how awful of a person- a sister- that makes her.
Kora shifts back and forth on her feet a moment before crouching down. She folds her legs under her and then hesitantly reaches out.
"...Can I try something?"
Daisy squints at her, trying to see past the pain in her head and focus on the words past the loudness of magnified echoes slamming into her body. Daisy gives a jerky nod and Kora pulls Daisy's hands from where they clench in her hair.
With both of Daisy's hands in Kora's, something strange happens. The vibrations slip from Daisy's skin. She panics for a moment, because she's not directing it, but they are traveling through her body, through her bones, like something has hooked them and is pulling them through her fingertips.
Only, the spaceship doesn't shudder and shake when the buzzing tremors escape. They pass into the hands grasping Daisy's and just… disperse. Back out into the ship, only quieter. It's quieter. And the piercing ache in Daisy's head eases to a gnawing throb.
A relieved sigh gusts past her lips. "What are you doing? How are you doing this?"
Kora stares down at their linked hands, brow furrowed in concentration. She shrugs stiffly. "I'm an energy conduit. Vibrations are just a form of energy, right?"
Daisy's smile is only a little strained. "Thanks."
"Anything for my little sister," Kora shrugs.
A coiling guilt worms its way past the pain and under Daisy's skin, burrowing in her bones. All her life she's been looking for her family, and now she's here with her actual sister and all she wants are other people. Her sister came from another time, ripped away from everyone she's ever known, and Daisy is all she has now, but Kora isn't all Daisy has.
Things are better than when they were active enemies, and they've gotten closer over the two weeks of drifting through space, but sometimes it still feels awkward and stifling. Daisy looks at Kora and wonders what their relationship would be like if Kora hadn't killed herself, and Daisy grew up knowing her family.
Daisy wouldn't even exist if Kora hadn't killed herself, though. That's the whole series of events leading to Jiaying leaving Afterlife. Daisy stares down at their linked hands. She purses her lips. Dwelling on the past is never a good idea.
"I think I'm technically the older sister," Daisy says, absently comparing her skin tone with her sister's. Do they look related? Whatever happened to Kora's father?
"Not chronologically. I was born first."
"Yeah, but I don't think that really counts considering you came from the past and a different timeline. We have to go based on how many years we've been alive, which makes me older, I think."
A charged silence falls over them, and it's one of the awkward ones that comes from two people who are blood, who want to be close, but don't really know each other. Daisy's mind turns again to the past (it never truly leaves it).
Kora's hands flex around Daisy's. "We haven't talked about it." It. About Kora. About what she almost did if it weren't for Malick.
Daisy shrugs. "You haven't brought it up."
"You haven't asked."
Daisy's head hurts, but it's not as bad as before. Not as overwhelming. "Figured you wouldn't want to talk about it. It felt… hypocritical to ask."
Daisy feels Kora's eyes finally lift to look at her directly. "Hypocritical?"
Daisy licks her lips uncomfortably, wondering why Kora brought it up at all- why she started this conversation. Wouldn't she want to avoid it completely? Daisy would have. Daisy and Kora aren't the same, though, and maybe avoiding talking about it isn't the favor Daisy thought it was. She lifts her head to stare at the curved ceiling instead of their linked, slightly off color, fingers.
"Sorry. For assuming. It's just, I never wanted to talk about it after my attempts. Everyone asking about it always just kind of made me want to die more."
The following silence is long and awkward. Daisy goes back to staring at the hands in hers, focussing on the buzzing throughout her body. Her headache is fading slowly as Kora redirects the flow of energy and softens it.
"What about talking about it now?" Kora asks after a moment.
Daisy bites her lip. She doesn't ever want to talk about it. But Kora is her sister. Her sister who she never met because she was actually successful in killing herself in Daisy's timeline, and it sounds like she wants to talk about it. Daisy suddenly has a little sister, who seems to have similar mental health issues, and Daisy is somehow supposed to take care of her. She's all Kora has.
"I've had three active attempts in total. Only the one since SHIELD picked me up and that was because… Actually, the reason was very similar to yours. I was scared of my powers and was trying to protect the people I cared about. At least, that was the excuse. I'm not sure if it was the full reason or not. If you count not active attempts, I ran a bunch of suicide missions when I was in a particularly low spot. Luckily, the people I was going up against were very incompetent in killing me, and my team was very persistent in trying to save me from myself. Is… is that enough?"
Daisy feels raw. Her insides are scraped out and in full view and she wants to stuff it all back in.
"Do you ever still want to…"
"Not really? I mean, sometimes, sure, but not as often. It's more of just a passing thought, now. I'm getting better." Daisy thinks she can handle letting go of Kora's hands now. The buzzing feels under control. Calm again. But Daisy doesn't feel like letting go just yet. Pulling away now feels… wrong. "...What about you? Are you… getting better?"
Kora squeezes Daisy's hands. "Yeah. I think so. The main reason I tried in the first place was because it seemed so hopeless. I couldn't control my powers and I couldn't run away, so… It was the only thing I could think of to escape." Kora lifts their linked hands, dragging Daisy's gaze up with them, and they catch on her sister's eyes and her wry smile. "Obviously I have better control now."
Daisy nods. Wonders if that's truly it. Knows more than anyone that saying 'I'm fine' is usually used to convince yourself more so than other people. Kora isn't Daisy, though. Maybe she really is okay. Is Daisy supposed to press her on it, or let Kora convince her?
"You do have excellent control now. It's amazing," Daisy admits. It took her a long time to find a semblance of comfort and control with her own powers, and look at her now. Stuck in a tin container and still getting migraines like she just got her powers.
"Just… remind me of that if I ever find myself in an environment like this that makes it hard for me to keep control."
"Okay," Daisy agrees readily, and doesn't know what else to say. "So, what else do you think you can do with your powers?"
They talk for hours, holding hands and sitting in the middle of the floor in the control center. It's hard to tell the passing of time with no daylight ever rising or falling, so Daisy startles when the first person stumbles into the room, cradling a coffee like a lifeline.
And Daisy finally, reluctantly, pulls away from her sister. "You should get some sleep. We should be reaching our first destination later today. Finally."
Kora climbs to her feet and offers a hand. Daisy takes it easily. "You should, too, Daisy."
"I don't really-"
"Yeah, yeah," Kora rolls her eyes, "You're a machine that never rests; I got it. Still, try for at least an hour or two. It might be okay with just being stuck on a ship for a few weeks, but who knows what will happen once we get planet-side."
"Alright, I'll try," Daisy says. It might even be the truth. She hasn't felt this relaxed since the first day they got to space- before Daisy's optimism fled and she noticed the problem of her powers.
A/N: Please let me know what you think!
The first non-cannon ship chapter is out, Skimmons (Jemma/Skye), but I can't put the link in here. You'll have to just go to my list of stories to find it.
For cannon ship chapters, I'm just going to keep them in the main one-shot collective. Only non-cannon ships will get a separate location.
Thanks for reading!
~Silver~