LINGER

I had a sleepless night. I dreamed of Kaede and me kissing again. It's so hurt. Why did I dream of him; when Kaede didn't see me as anything more than his coffee machine.

I knew I should leave. But inside my heart was protested.

My phone vibrated. I swiped it on. It was a text from Koshino.

Koshino: Where are you? Class about to start.

Akira: Sorry, Kosh. I'm sick. Won't be at school today.

Koshino: What's your address? I'll visit you. Want me to take you to the hospital? Is it really bad?

Akira: I'm all right. Just small headache. Gonna sleep a bit. You know I hated hospital, right?

Koshino: Don't be stubborn, Akira. You have too. Just text me later if you need anything.

Akira: Sure.

I dropped onto my pillow. My mind was blank. I felt lonely. So very lonely. I felt I was a little lost child with no home to return to. Dad had run away with Ayumi, leaving me behind. Only Koshino was there for me.

He was a good friend. He worried about me. But I couldn't rely on him all the time. It was already good enough that he chose me as his best friend. I had to learn to rely on myself.

I forced a smile and pulled open the curtains. The sun shone bright and the sky was cloudless blue. It was a beautiful day outside. I shouldn't feel so downhearted. It's totally not me. So I got up, determined today was going to be a good day. I'd say hello to Kitsune when I saw him. Pretend everything from last night hadn't happened. Act like our relationship was fine. Yes, everything would be fine.

After preparing myself for today, I went downstairs to make some coffee for Kitsune. But he was nowhere to be found. I searched everywhere for him, but he wasn't there.

"Guys, have you seen the boss?" I asked, when I saw the guys in the lounge.

"Akira, you're wake already. Come, sit here with us." Sakuragi offered.

"What are you doing, guys?" I asking them.

"Just rilex, Aki. Come on, let's chill a bit." Maki answered.

I looked at Fukuda. I feel guilty when I see his bruises. "Sorry, Fukuda. Because of my stupid plan."

Fukuda stared at me with his smug face. Then, he laughed like a madman. The hell is wrong with him?

"Don't be ridiculous, Akira. This is nothing. I used to it. Thanks to you. If it's not because of you, maybe I will dead right now." Then he smiled at me and patted my back.

"Akira, you know how to singing?" Fujima asking.

"I love singing." I smiled to him.

"Then, sing. Let's created our memories here. Let's chill a bit." Sakuragi offered mic to me.

I stared at microphone. Then, my mind drifted to someone.

"Our boss is hot, right? Look at his eyes. So sharp, as if they could suck your soul out of heaven." Sakuragi had to mention Kaede perfect eyes. I startled when Sakuragi talking about Kaede.

"Check out that body. Boss has such sexy body. You can't find a body hot like that." Maki commented quickly.

"He works out at 3.00 a.m. every morning, guys. Trust me. I'm the one who makes his coffee."

"Seriously. Is that why you're always yawning every morning? Fujima asking.

"Yes. No man is capable of looking good without having to work out. Look at him. He's tall," I said without any emotion.

"Jesus, Akira. What's gotten into you? Where's your spirit? You look like you woke up on the wrong side of bed," Sakuragi commented.

"I'm fine, Sakuragi. I'm fine." I waved him off.

"But to get back to subject of tall men, though. My niece friends say girls and women are into them," Fujima added.

"Fuck with that. Who cares about girl? The hell you thinking, Fujima? Don't brings girl issue right now," Maki protested while his eyes throw anger at Fujima.

"Rilex dude. Don't be mad." Fujima chuckled while patted Maki hand. "Hey, Akira. You're so tall. Even taller than boss. Sakuragi too. Fukuda also. I wonder about your dick, guys." Fujima continued his blabbering.

"You want to see mine?" Fukuda offered.

"The heck, Fukuda? Since when you become perverted?" Maki glared at him.

"He just curious. So, I offered it. Why you getting hot, Maki?" Fukuda smirked. Maki face flushed. Everyone laughed.

"Akira, don't you find our boss hot at all?" Sakuragi turned to me, questioning my capability to rate hot guys. Sakuragi continued his blabbering. "I'm a guy here, and I still get the shivers every time boss walks into the room. It's like he's a movie star. He has this charisma about him that captivates people."

"I agree. Boss has the looks of a movie star. I'm just like Sakuragi. We shiver when we're near boss. How about you, Akira? What's your reaction when he walks into the room?" Fujima put me on the spot.

I felt my face flush. I cleared my throat, blinked and said with a casual voice, trying my best not to show them my true feelings. "Yeah right, like I would be totally captivated by him, guys. He's just a normal guy to me. Nothing special."

Sakuragi gasped. "I thought you have lusty for men, Akira. Beside, is boss what are we talking about. He kissed you last night, and you still didn't feel any sort of attraction for him."

Why did Sakuragi have to remind me of last night or the kiss in the early hours this morning? I was trying to forget it already.

"Well, if I said I have a lusty for him, but, he didn't feel anything about me? I mean, yeah kissed, sex or anything else. Kiss is not just about lusty for me. But the feelings. Like who am I to him? Why he kissed me if he's not having a feeling for me?" I questioned them.

Silence. No ones uttered any word. It's Fukuda who broke the silence first.

"Let's stop talking about this nonsense. Come on, Aki. Sing a song for us." Fukuda patted me at my back like he's seems understand what the meaning of my question before.

Few minutes after, the song started. The four mafia went silent when I started singing.

I lie awake at night

See things in black and white

I've only got you inside my mind

You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray

That you will look my way

I have all this longing in my heart

I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty boy I love you

Like I never ever loved no one before you

Pretty boy of mine

Just tell me you love me too

My pretty boy

I need you

I do

Let me inside

Make me stay right beside you

And as I ended the song, they all witnessed how I smiled like I deliver the lyrics for someone. No words were uttered, but they seems to be an understanding. Then, the stare was cut off when the four mafia suddenly cheered.

Akira chuckled as he shook his head. He sat down after that and put the mic on the table.

"So, how's that?" I turned my head towards to them.

"Damn, Aki. I never knew you know how to sing and your voice very nice." Maki still stunned after the small concert from me.

"Not bad, Akira." Fukuda commented.

"Does the song remind you of someone?" Sakuragi asking.

"Yeah."

"Who?"

"My little friend, pretty boy. Someone I will never see again."

The meetings was taking longer than Kaede had expected. He felt so tired. If not because he is a boss, he is not interested in meetings at all. Kaede drove back home. His mind was still disturbed with Akira. Kaede wasn't sure if he could face Akira.

When Kaede reached the door, he heard his underlings talking. He can't help but peeked and eavesdropping what was going on inside the lounge. He sees his underlings and his maid, Aki.

Not long after that, Kaede sees his maid holding a microphone. Then started to singing. His voice deep and reverberated in whole room. His eyes was calm as he singing. His voice is different when he singing. Making it pleasent to Kaede ears. Kaede was looking at his maid. Kaede smiled.

The singing was ending. Kaede just about to leave when he heard his maid Aki said something that surprised him.

"My little friend, pretty boy. Someone I will never see again."