May 1997

There he was standing so proud of everything he had done the last four years. In the stands sat his best friend, Phil Wenneck, and little sister Jessie. The young girl kept pulling on the teenager's locks but there was a bright smile to her. Even up on the stage, he could easily catch sight of his darling little sister.

Jessica was his pride and joy and before long, he would be leaving her to their shitty mother for college. He felt tremulously bad for that because he knew inside, he could and would do a better job for her. Jessie was only six years old but she was wiser than most of the peers. She still considered herself a princess on all records but at least there was someone that cared about him and Jessie to be here for his special day meant more than she knew.

"Douglas Billings, honors in the top 1%, Salutatorian. Wishes to join a growing firm to flourish in the technology field," spoke the Head principal. Somewhere over the claps, he heard the exclaims of Jessie.

"Philly! Look he got one too!" she screamed while pulling on the arm of the eighteen-year-old. Doug looked over at them and saw both of them had smiles brightly showing. Phil smiled at him directly, before turning to say something to Jessie. Doug saw that Jessie was seated in his lap she could see Doug better. She always was a small child.

Afterward, Phil was kind enough to take them out to dinner where they dined and laughed about high school. There were several people who thought that Phil and Doug were boyfriends and that Jessie was Doug's daughter but that would be impossibly strange. Doug was thirteen years older than her. That would make him a very young dad on those standards.

For the summer, Phil and Doug enjoyed the time as the Camp Dago counselors now three years, where Phil had met Stephanie the previous year. She had beautiful blond hair and pretty blue eyes. Phil was head over heels for her but his impressions of fatherhood were never good.

"Doug, why in hell would you want to be a dad?" he asked during one of their breaks.

Doug saw Jessie running up behind David the Senior Camp Counselor. Her brown hair was flying behind her and her feet got caught on the over-sized shoes their mother made her wear.

"Sorry, Dougie! It's too big for me!" she said with a smile. Her clothing was slightly dirty and there was a slight funk to her, but Phil was busy staring at Steph.

"Hey I'll be right back. Got a talking to do," he muttered before calling after her and wooing her as Doug knew he would. Phil always was one to chase girls in school.

"Dougie are you okay?" asked Jessie down at his elbow.

"Yeah. Hey let's get you a bath, okay? Don't want be funky for our hike today. And plus, we got lots more to do and we got to collect our stuff!"

Jessie smiled brightly and followed Doug to the private quarters of the Counselors and set her things on the spare bed next to his and Phil's. Being who he was, they let it pass for her to stay over-night. For two weeks, Jessie stayed close to Doug and was his personal helper.

All the happiness in the world for it to end suddenly and then just like that … the happiness ended when that summer ended….

Doug went away to college for the fall term of 1996 in New York State and that meant leaving behind his shitty mother…. and most importantly… Jessie. He knew the sadness she showed that August morning at the airport.

"Hey, I will be back at Thanksgiving kay? We'll go to Phil's and spend it with his family! I heard his mom is making something for you!" he offered praying their mother didn't hear him.

"She won't be spending time with the Wenneck boy!" she snapped harshly. "She will be at home with me. She'll be nowhere near that horrible boy!"

Doug felt his inside's burn but let the comment roll off him. He wrapped his arms around his precious baby sister's body, knowing that she would endure what he had the last several years. HE just knew Jess would be someone completely different when he returned… If he ever did, it would be for her and NO ONE else.

December 31 2000

"Hello?" he answered into the phone, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Under his arm, his girlfriend laid quite asleep. Her soft hair tickled his arm as he reached over her to get the phone by the lamp.

"Doug, you have to come home man! Something horrible happened!" came Phil's worried voice on the other end. There was such an urgency that bothered him most.

"What? What are you talking about?" he said more serious than he wanted. Instantly images of their mother hurting Jess came but after much silence Phil finally uttered the words he knew shouldn't feel like relief.

"Your mom is dead man," Phil stated, and Doug knew he was shaking badly after saying it too.

"What?" he asked again in disbelief. "My mom?"

"Your mom was found dead! I don't know the details but Jess; she saw your mom dead and she is scared and crying. Doug! She needs you!" he begged over the phone. "I'm having my parents wire you some money. But you need to get home now man!"

After more talking and Doug calming down, he woke up his girlfriend and asked her to leave.

"What's wrong Dougie?" she said, her lips pursed wanted his body for a moment. But his body told him that his arms were needed elsewhere not this half naked college girlfriend in his bed. And besides only Jess was allowed to call him Dougie!

"I need to get home for something. I'll let you know."

Receiving a call from Phil's parents, he went to retrieve the money and got on the soonest plane to Los Angeles leaving JFK airport. Since it was past midnight, he enough time to return home and pack a quick luggage bag before setting off to the airport. He departed JFK airport at 6:50, arriving at LAX around near 10:00 local time, but it was really a six-hour flight. Phil was waiting at the airport for him, sorrow and pain written all over his face. He held up a little sign that said Doug, my Bro on it, but nowhere was Jess seen.

The moment that Phil caught sight of Doug, he stepped forward and hugged the man.

"She's safe. She has to stay with the police but Jessie is safe. They are talking to her."

Phil grabbed Doug's luggage bag and the two rushed off toward where Jessie was. As they got to the police station, there she was curled up in a ball, tears rolling down her face. Fear had completely over-taken her. Instantly, her arms drew around Doug's neck and her sobs echoed in his ear. There was fear, scared, anger, but most of all happiness. The door closed behind him and the police officer sat down at the table as Doug did.

"Good morning Mr. Billings. I'm terribly sorry for rushing you here from New York," he offered waving his arm toward the coffee. Doug gave the man a look of anger and the officer continued quickly. "I know this must come as a surprise—"

"I'm the last person she has. Our mother is dead and I'm the only one left for her!" snapped Doug suddenly not giving two shits about his mother.

"I understand your pain Sir, but there is a matter of your mother's passing, I don't know if your friend revealed or not," he said nervously. "Did your friend say why?"

"Phil told me Jess needed me. Nothing else."

The police officer took a miserable look at Doug and sighed. "Your mother was found earlier yesterday evening with a gunshot wound to the head around 8:45P local time. Neighbors report that soon after they heard the gunshot, they heard Jessica screaming and crying from the front door.

Standing up, the floor gave way and a second officer who he didn't realized was in the room went to grab him up before he hit the floor. Doug's balance fell from under him and for a moment, nothing was heard from anyone. Not the officer speaking to him; not the distant screams of Jess in the other room; not the hushing sounds that Phil was making, he trying to calm Jess down and failing; no Doug heard nothing.

"Mr. Billings? Mr. Billings!" kindly asked the officer flashing a small flashlight into his eyes a second then pulling it back for a moment. Slowly his senses came back but he knew then everything had changed.

After some time talking and getting the complete record complied for the investigation, Doug learned that his mother had been seeing a therapist who was under qualified and would be arrested for falsifying information under a different investigation. He learned of all the medications that were found in his mother's home and the ones that scared him most were ones that Jess had been taken to the hospital during the last three years because everyone feared she accidently took them when they were laying on low tables. He had no idea what was went on since he left for New York. It was decided that Jess would move up to Washington State to live with their Uncle Edward since no one could get ahold of their father, despite Doug's wishes. It was determined that he lived too far away and thus unable. Phil even volunteered but since she wasn't related to him, they told him no as well.

Uncle Edward was also the only relative of their mother who was alive and in the United States. Uncle Derek and his family lived in London, where he has been stationed the last four years. But as Doug helped pack up the house and got rid of their mother's stuff and separated out Jessie's stuff, he discovered how much he was loved by his mother. There were four boxes of his stuff growing up that he thought she had always thrown away. Projects he had done in art or English that were proof of his childhood. Inside as he reflected about it, he felt Phil's hand on his shoulder.

"Come on. We got a long drive to Seattle."

The drive to Uncle Edward was uneventful and he knew it was a bad idea to send her there. The house was obviously cleaned very quickly to appear clean. There was another woman there cooking in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette and a hair net covering her hair. Their uncle hated their mother and for him to care for his sister's child was pushing the luck. After all Uncle Edward was the divorcee of the family and his children, Doug and Jessie' male cousins, were both older than Doug by three or more years.

"Is that her Eddie? Scrawny little thing she is. I'll fatten her up!" sneered their aunt turning over whatever she was cooking. Leaving her there, inside Doug knew he must check on her every week because their Uncle didn't care about her and now Phil wasn't there to check for him.

August 2001

Living with Uncle Edward was barely habitable but from Doug's view it just to be fate he was supposed to raise Jess. Right before Labor Day weekend, he was called by Seattle police saying he was needed again for Jess but for different reasons.

"I won't take care of a whiny brat who can't get over my dumbass sister's selfish act. My niece is fucking annoying and I hate her. Besides my son just got murdered. I have MY OWN TO WORRY ABOUT! Send her to the bratty brother in New York. Make him do the work. Dumb lazy ass moved across the country and didn't take her with 'em in December when his mother fucking killed herself. Tired of this brat," Doug read from the report of the Seattle police.

Jessie was thinner then he remembered and he wondered honestly if Uncle Edward had even feed her that day. The police officers here were trying to get her to talk but nothing worked. Her mouth was closed shut and even Doug could get her to talk. This time, Doug even tried calling Uncle Derek but he was being transferred to Moscow for six months before returning to London. He couldn't put that much stress on his Aunt who was busy helping their cousins through college there in England.

Doug held Jessie very close as he tried to get her to rest. He whispered words of encouragement that she was going to live with him in New York City. This seemed to cheer her up. The only problem was that the only way that Doug had to getting his little sister across the country without it costing a fortune and the police department paying for most of it, he had to take a train there. That meant practically two full days on a train with only his thoughts and sister to hear.

They got on their departing train at 4:40 in the evening, having had a medium dinner before boarding. By 10:00P Jess had fallen asleep, resting under Doug's arm, as he halfway tried to read a book. At midnight, he closed his book and locked the door to their door before putting their things in the bags for in the morning. They would be on this train in this room mostly for the next two days. Three hours shorts of two full days but they would only get to Chicago after then.

Doug and Jessie spent the time on the train as a bonding time. He had bought several activities for her to do while he tried to write out his beginning papers for class, but it failed every time. Instead, Doug found himself naming off several of the rocks they passed through the way. While Jessie seemed to operate on a very simple schedule, he did notice that she would ask about Phil and Stu a lot.

He had met Stu his first year at NYU and there Stu was studying to be dentist and for their first long break, the two young men went and spent it with Phil's family. Currently Stu was still in New York probably over a stack of homework like he was known to be like. Stu and Doug were roommates on the college dorms their first year but since then they chose to rent a small apartment near the main campus so they could have some sort of order to their life.

"He wants to see my teeth, right?" Jess asked eagerly the morning when they would stop in Chicago.

"Yep. He wants to help people with their teeth!"

"I wanna help with people's teeth!" she clapped happily.

Finally, after eating something other than train food and visiting in Chicago for about five hours, they got on train to New York. The nineteen hours later, they finally arrived to Penn Station in New York City. There Stu was there to greet them.

"So this is the famous Jess all grown up!" he said with a big smile. Hiding behind Doug, she stared nervously at Stu who was smiling. This was the first time that she had seen him in a long time. "Hey I got you something. Here!"

Behind Stu's back, he withdrew a small bear with the name Jess embroidered on it. Her eyes got real big and she let out a loud shrill as she hugged the bear.

"Thanks Stu!" she said happily accepting the bear and warming them with a soft hug. Hugging her tenderly, Stu knelt down and wrapped his arms around her carefully. The things he had been told that happened to her by Uncle Edward was vile and disgusting so he took extra care in holding her.

"It was the only one that resembled her name that was available Doug," offered Stu taking Jess' stuff from Doug.

"It's fine," he said happily. Now he had Jess and he was determined to care for her.

September 11, 2001

8:22AM

Doug was so late for work but he knew that he had to get there before 8:30 which he knew he wouldn't. Thankfully Stu didn't have to be at work until that afternoon so he could watch Jess that morning. She was terribly sick but Doug couldn't take the time off because he was needed to repair the damage that was caused yesterday by a foolish employee. The main security network was down because of it.

As he got off the train from Hoboken, New Jersey at 8:26 but still needed to walk the distance to get to the correct elevator. His phone rang loudly in his pocket but he just ignored it, practically running toward the elevator. He reached the elevator he needed at 8:45 but he realized his name being called behind. Not being rude, he turned around missing the door's close by mere seconds.

"Doug! Hey Doug!" one of his coworkers said. "Hey do you have those reports yet from the Manhattan lines? I was told you had 'em!"

"No I don't but I got to get busy on the security repair. Shit! I missed the elevator!"

Doug stabbed the button and checked his watch. It read 8:46.

Then everything shook and things forever changed.

*dot*

"Holy shit!" screamed Stu standing straight up and dropping his cereal bowl on the floor. He didn't care about his Lucky Charms being all over the new carpet.

"DOUG!" He scrambled for the phone and feverishly he began to dial Doug's number but nothing came. Nothing came but Doug's voicemail. Franticly he called and called over and over again but still the same thing.

"This is Douglas Billings of the New York and New Jersey Port Authority. Please leave a message after the tone and I will return your call within the next business day," Stu heard several times again and again.

"Stu what's the matter?" asked Jess by Doug's bedroom door. "Is everything okay?"

Stu clicked the television off and put a smile on his face. "Things are okay Jessica! Hey let's get that movie out you wanted to watch yeah?"

"Can we watch Cinderella first?" she asked rubbing her eyes.

"Sure whatever you want!" offered Stu hurrying to find the movie and praying it wouldn't mess up.

He hadn't heard from Doug or anyone yet, other than the constant calls from Phil. But Phil lived in California and the moment he had seen the news of what happened, the house phone started blowing up with his calls. The entire day Phil and Stu kept calling each other if they had heard from Doug. All they cared about was hearing from Doug and making sure he was alive. They were even talking about who would watch Jess if Doug had died. They knew Jess would be devastated if Doug never came home.

"Phil, what do I do? Jess has no one left! One of us will have to care for her if Doug is dead!"

"Stu shut up! Don't think like that!" snapped Phil rubbing his temple at the annoyance of his friend, but the concern was very valid. This was a child, a lost child who Doug had absolute legal rights over, they were talking about.

A child that had no one to care for her, and anyone who could was overseas. Yeah Phil could pull strings since he and Stephanie got married last year but they were expecting their first child any day now. Their first child! Stu didn't know if he could honestly take care of Jess forever because he was an only child. He was unsure if Phil could handle Jessica Billings. Not that it would matter anyway because Jess would pick him over Phil any day. At least he hoped….

"Stu, listen, listen man we will figure it out. Right now you are in New York with her and right now Jess will need you by her side. Alright we'll figure out details later. I need to get Steph to her appointment." After the conversation, Stu hung up not feeling any better than he had before. Jess was passed out on the couch, her teddy bear under her arm and blanket covering her body well. Stu looked down and tried hard to think what if he took the responsibility of Jess. Would he do a good job? No, he mind begged. Don't think like that, it begged. Around two in the afternoon, Stu had managed to get Jess up and to the store but their access was limited. They had to walk about five miles to reach a store that had anything he could have because everyone went into a panic. Jess clung to Stu's body and his hand never left her shoulder.

"Stu, I'm scared. What's going?" her worried eyes showed every fear every adult they came across held. Stu's eyes kept looking around as he spoke but his words were in mere whispers.

"Just something bad," he answered reaching for a gallon of milk. It was skim but at least they would have some. Also managing to grab a package of cheese, Stu had to have Jess hold onto his shirt as they walked the five miles for home. At dinner time, Stu had prepared soup for Jess and tried his hardest to keep calm for her. His insides were shaking and he was scared.

Just as he was reading Jess her nighttime story and the sick little girl drifted off to sleep for the night, the phone rang loudly. Cursing inside because Jess' eyes opened briefly, he picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked, his hands shaking around the phone. His eyes peered over Jess praying it was not about Doug.

"Is this a Stuart Price of Hoboken, New Jersey?" asked the voice on the phone.

"Yes," he replied, praying that this news didn't mean…. Breathless, Stu stood up and walked to the other room.

"Hello this is Doctor Hamms at New York Downtown Hospital; we wanted to inform you that your name was in the wallet of a patient we received earlier this afternoon. We need you to come down and identify a body here. Would you come down and help with some paperwork?"

"Bod…dy?" he stuttered. "Does the per….per…son had dark bro… brow… brown hair, hazel or green eyes?"

"Yes Sir the person does," answered Doctor Hamms.

"Is Doug alive?" he asked harshly his eyes crossing over the standing figure of Jess at her door. "Is my friend alive!?"

"Stu?" she asked quietly. "What's going on? Where is Dougie?"

"Who?" asked Doctor Hamms. "Please Sir if you can please come down and see the person."

Stu agreed to be there as soon as he could. Rushing he packed a backpack of PJs, underwear, and book about teeth for Jess while he sorted this out. His insides burned but he couldn't care for Doug's little sister! HE didn't know anything about raising a child! He was a young adult without any siblings! How would he…. NO! his mind said. Stop and breathe Stuart! Looking at Jess, her fears once again came.

"Stu what's going on?" asked Jess, her eyes wide and concern riddling her face. She reached for her teddy bear as he hurriedly pulled a light jacket over her shoulders. "Where are we going?"

"Jess I need you to get up and come with me okay? Doug's not home yet but I need to take care of something," he half lied and prayed where they were going; wasn't to Doug's body.

They arrived to the hospital, Jess still wearing her PJs. They walked up to the desk and were told to wait for Doctor Hamms to get them. Waiting for well over an hour, finally the man appeared. The Doctor was of worse wear. There was blood on his coat, and his hands were shaking. Nothing could make Stu speak because he was afraid to.

"Stuart Price?" the doctor asked eyeing the two. "I didn't know you'd be bringing your daughter." They followed the doctor to an emergency room where they found not Doug, but a female laying there.

"Do you know this woman?" asked Doctor Hamms waving his hand over the young woman before Stu. The woman had long brown hair that was usually tied in tight bun at the back of her head, and shocking green eyes that would make the greenest pasture jealous. Her fair, yet very pale skin was perfectly colored with the makeup she wore for her stage performance.

"Yes, I do," stared Stu, tears beginning to show.

This woman was named Abby and she dreamed of being a ballerina just like when she was child. Her face showed sorrow and fright but across her leg was a clean cut that meant her dream had ended. He had watched her first solo performance last spring and knew he saw something special in her. But now the Abby the Dancer was gone. Her heart wasn't beating against her chest. Her hand was limp. The woman that Stu had spent since April getting to know and was his girlfriend is … now gone…

Stu fell beside the bed and grabbed for her hand wanting to hold her once more before trying to stand.

"Stu, where is my brother?" asked Jess quietly holding his arm. He looked at her and just cried more.

"I don't know," he cried. "Something very, very bad happened today and I just don't know Jess. I don't know if Doug is alive or what!"

Jess' eyes began to water, and her sobs began. She began to scream and fight with him, but the fear was setting back in because she was losing everything and everyone around her. Now she was with Stu who she knew but not very well. Hitting his chest, Stu blocked each one as the girl packed a good punch despite being ten.

"NO! HE'S NOT GONE! HE'S NOT GONE STU!" screamed Jess. Stu took a hold of her and cradled her as they left the room with Doctor Hamms. Stu still needed to give Abby's information for the coroner but for now he needed to calm Jess down.

"Is there someone else you were expecting to be here?" asked Doctor Hamms as they sat at his desk, the papers before him some many hours later. The man had at least taken a shower and shaved now, but he still wore a sorrow on his face.

"Look I know this is long shot but has anyone seen or heard from a Douglas Billing, Doug for short? He works for the Port Authority and was heading in the towers for work this morning. This is his little sister and if he doesn't come home, this little girl's world will shatter," he begged holding Jess on his lap as she slept. "She needs her brother!"

"Are you and this Doug … together?" dared the Doctor. His eyes wiggled but Stu just stared onward.

"We are not together as you rudely put it. We attend college together. I'm not gay!" snapped Stu.

"A Doug Billings you say?" smiled the Doctor pulling a long list of names. "We receive every name that every hospital in lower Manhattan sees since this all began. But no. Not yet."

Stu sighed and looked down at Jess. Her peaceful face, same as Doug's. This was gonna be hard for her.

"Off the record, there is nothing wrong with being gay. Women are hysterical. I can tell from this little one," smiled the Doctor.

*dot*

8 Days Later

Stu was busy getting a backpack for Jess because they would be going to school soon, when the phone rang.

"Hello? This is Stu."

"Good morning Mr. Price, this is Doctor Hamms from NY Downtown Hospital. I have some excellent news for you!"

Delight filled his ears, as the man informed him that Doug had been found and was in the intensive care unit department. Currently Doug's breathing was uneven but considering all, he was at least alive. Stu and Jess hurried to see Doug and their hearts began to heal at moment. Doug was a little worse for wear. His hair was gone showing a slight groove to the side of the head, his clothing which sat in pile of wearable rags on the chair, and his body had several cuts and burns but the man was alive. Slowly a nurse was helping him sit up.

The moment that Doug saw Jess and Stu enter the room, his face broke into a wide smile which Stu knew hurt him. There was a deep cut on his cheek.

"Dougie!" cried out Jess as she jumped on the bed. Her brother flinched as he retraced his head and neck back. The nurse had to put her back on the floor as the young girl tried to return to Doug.

"Sweetheart, I know he is a very special man to have someone like you, but he has a lot of areas that are painful right now. Here I'll get this chair so you can still reach him, kay?" offered the nurse kindly. Jess stood on the chair and carefully put her arms around his neck.

"I missed you so much Dougie!" she said and then lightly kissed his cheek. Doug smiled at Jess and instantly Stu witnessed the greatest thing happen. "Stuey helped me on my schoolwork even though I've been really sad about you. He even told my teacher that I was being a great helper at home!"

"I love you so much Jess. All I could think about was you," he whispered. Stu wiped his eyes, tears beginning to form, and Jess despite the nurse's protests, she climbed beside her brother laying with him. Medical help would heal his body, but Jessica, Doug's little sister, would heal his soul….

Behind him, Doctor Hamms smiled at Stu, not the Billings.

"You are so different than others," he whispered. "You're not like you think."

"I'm not gay," protested Stu but inside he knew there was something odd and wonderful about the way the Doctor's bearings that made him weak in the knees.