She had sat on the lounge chair all night thinking about Phil and what the future would have been like if she never went to Vegas. Often, she liked to think about what the future would have been without Jason, but the reality was she was there still in a fancy house owned by the man who she didn't love. Nor could she love him because it was always Phil first.

She sat there wondering until the rising sun woke her, some few hours later. Curled into a ball against the seat, she found herself covered with a thick blanket. The door to the house was unlocked when she went in, and she saw Jason in the kitchen making breakfast. It appeared that Darcy and Jack were still sleeping. He was dressed in a loose white shirt, the usual gray shorts, and brown socks as he danced around playing smooth jazz in the background. He had four plates out with some bacon, eggs, and toast. On 3 of the plates had cut up kiwi and berries over yogurt, while on his there was a cut up banana.

Smiling, he looked up seeing her standing there and the expression softened.

"Morning," he offered. "Bout to get the kids up."

Nodding, she could still hear Phil's voice in her ears as she sat down to eat, soon joined by the others. Try as she might, the slow back and forth was getting easier to call him now that they had pushed aside the feelings of lost between them. She spent one night a week, less than ten minutes total, talking to him about the weeks events and what her plans were. It was expressed that she would be attending Thanksgiving with Doug and Tracy, which he agreed was a good idea.

Ringgggg…..

Rinnnggg….

Rinnngg –

"Hello?" answered a sleepy Phil on the other end.

"Phil?" she asked softly not believing he was truly answering. Maybe he was too out of it and not realizing who was calling so near to midnight.

"What?" he asked still sounding asleep.

"I wanted to hear your voice," she muttered.

"Why? It's midnight. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Can't sleep," she said after a moment.

"Sorry," he said back.

Hearing him breathing made her begin to cry, but it was relieving to hear he wasn't hanging so suddenly for once. She wanted to have a conversation with him and now she was, but he was given short answers like normal. She also couldn't find the words either.

"Phil, I hope I'm not bothering you—"

"It's middle of the fucking night," he interrupted harshly.

"I need to tell you something important," she begged holding her chest as it beat against her ribcage harder not wanting to stop the call. She would realize soon enough though.

"What would that be?" he asked with force. "I broke your heart remember. I'm the bad guy."

"Phil, I love you!" she said into the phone trying to hold back her tears. "I chose you in Thailand, but you never let me speak! You never let me tell you what my decision was!"

A long quiet spell was casted as Jess felt the first tears drop. This was more painful than she realized. It was true and after nearly eighteen months, she told Phil the real decision. After a full thirty seconds, the dial tone came meaning that he had hung up. Hearing the tone, she felt the rush of regret. It was so hurtful. He had never been a spiteful man; he always was caring. IT JUST COULD NOT BE SO! She wept and threw the phone on the lounge chair. Gathering herself, she sobbed against her knees as the rawest emotion was released and despair hit her coldly, making her internal temperature drop several degrees. It was against the odds, but she knew she had to see him when she got back to California next week.

On the day of, she gathered Jack up into a cozy outfit for the two-hour journey, an extra bag for the overnight visit and ventured off by nine in the morning. Arriving shortly after eleven, she walked up to Doug's house feeling exhausted. Taking a short nap, she was shaken awake by her son and nephew who was giggling on the bed. Doug was holding them back from poking her eye out.

"Hey! Don't poke Aunt Jess! She was sleeping!" he called to the cousins as they giggled more.

Sitting up, she saw him laughing with them before handing them over to Tracy. She left calling for Jack to follow behind and help with making Jello. That left Doug and Jess alone in the spare bedroom, quietness gathering around them.

"Would you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what," she answered pulling her knees up. "Is it Stu?"

"No," he laughed. "Not Stu. He and Lauren will by later tonight. I was hoping you might convince Phil to come over. He's been locked up in his house for a long time, and only comes out for work."

Observing her brother, he was awfully brave to ask her to go and retrieve the one person she wanted most. After some encouraging on his own part, she gathered her hair into a quick braid, pulling her jacket over her arms. Hugging his sister, she saw Doug stood tall knowing she would be triumph. Wrapping her arms around his sides, she felt warmth in his embrace. It has been several months since they shared a hug.

"Is he still on Mayberry? I'll go get his ungrateful ass!" Doug smirked and tried to keep Jack from running into his mother's legs.

"I'll be right back," offered Jess walking toward the door patting her son's head. "Be good for Uncle Doug and Aunt Tracy."

"Say bye mama!" said Doug as Jack waved goodbye.

Traveling the short distance, she arrived at his home and saw his car was parked in the drive. It was fall break so he was probably working on something school related considering finals would be coming up soon. Talking herself out of the car, then up the paved walkway all the way to the door, she found herself paused simply staring at dark blue door. Her hands formed a fist and just before knocking, she could feel the low embers gathering in her stomach. A few moments later, the door opened revealing a confused Phil. He looked exhausted by his tussled hair and unshaved face. But it was sight to behold for Jess seeing his bare chest.

"What are you – what are you doing here?" he asked slowly, beginning to open the door fully. He wore only a pair of sweats, and his blue eyes looked her over closely.

"Phil! Wait!" she said before he could slam the door shut. "I told you I was visiting for the holiday. I wanted to come see you— Doug— he told me to come get you— and Stu, everyone is having dinner today at Doug's," she spluttered along.

"Are you even real?" he asked as he leaned against the door frame. He looked half-dazed.

"Of course, I'm real. Here," said Jess walking up to him and placing her hand on his cheek, the short beard he was sporting poking her. Phil sighed pushing his hair back, and with a heavy sigh, he let her in, and softly closed the door behind them.

"Coffee?" he asked continuing to the kitchen. Nodding, Jess sat down in his tidy living room, and he had lesson plans scattered across the kitchen table for the next semester. As several minutes of silence crept throughout the house, Jess stood up and observed the photo of them in Greece that sat against the fireplace. Tracing them across the glass, she heard Phil approach.

"I've not figured out where to put that at. Been forever since we were there," he said placing the cups down on the coffee table.

"It was easier, wasn't it? Back then?" she asked turning in her place. Phil patted the spot beside him, motioning for her to join him on the sofa. Taking her light jacket off, she sat down and played with her fingers waiting for something to happen. Beside her hand was a steaming cup of coffee. Phil was leaned back with closed his eyes. Jess had been sitting up right when suddenly his fingers were caressing her back.

"Lean back," he asked kindly. "You're fucking stiff."

"Phil, do you remember I called you last week?" she dared looking back at him. His eyes opened and he looked at her so peacefully. She swore her heart was skipping so fast it was hard to tell who was more nervous.

"Yeah. I remember," he finally said brushing her hair off her shoulder. "You gotta pick a better time to call me. I do have work most mornings," he teased with a smile. Blushing, Jess turned a bit and smiled back weakly thinking of the words to say.

"It's the only time I really find time to call."

"You wake me at three in the morning to chat?"

They both let out a soft laugh. Jess never realized it was always around three but could see why it had bothered him. He did have to wake up at five every morning for work. It meant he wasn't getting a enough sleep and was probably sleep deprived.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I guess I just – wanted to hear your voice."

Phil pulled her into his arms, and they sat there, cuddling against the soft fabric of the sofa. Jess felt him move a bit to grab the loose blanket hanging on the arm to drape over them. The rhythmical motion of their heartbeats as his hand had closed on hers under the blanket pausing her in her place.

"Did you hear what I said?" she asked watching his jaw harden.

He nodded and she felt herself getting emotional again. At peace for the first time in a long time. He was warm like before, but something was different maybe he was resisting emotion like she was trying. He did say he heard what she said, but maybe…. This was the first time since Stu's wedding or the Fourth of July, where they were truly alone with only their thoughts to hear.

"Phil?" she asked taking hold of his hands.

His eyes followed her actions, but her arched gaze paused him. Shifting in her seat and looked intense in his blue eyes, just staring into them, it was like before Jason came alone. The heat began to rise in her stomach and without notice, she cupped his cheek and gave him a full kiss not allowing him to stop her. She turned to straddle his waist and a moment later, Phil scattered within her hands.

It was dangerous, the amount of temperature and passion within her hands. Heat poured from the two of them. Eighteen months had been a very long time. The yearning tug in his groin wasn't calmed by Jess's skillfully fingers, it lit aflame trailing to his core. He tried to protest but she didn't allow it. Not one part of him was allowed to fall because she kept him in place without the relief of a moment's breath to regain composure. Finally, the man grabbed her around the ass and pulled her close, finally letting go. He attacked her mouth and fingers traveled down well know paths to places it remembered.

It was a passion that neither wanted to admit they wanted but here in the soft couch Phil picked her up and pulled at her clothing. Jess didn't have much to pull off his already nearly nude body. After months of feeling resentment at each other, they push away all doubt about one another. Phil pulled her shirt over head as he pulled her bra off and he loved her breasts that fit perfectly in his hand. Pushing herself against him on the sofa, Jess pulled his sweats down and ravishingly devoured him too. It was too much like a dream but neither of them wanted to wake from it, only this time, it signifying the craving that led them down this rabbit hole.

"Jess… Please… please…" he moaned against his own pleasure.

Phil held firm to her head, and she took her time, enjoying the sights and smells. After he could no longer wait, he pulled her top of him and pushed inside feeling the warmth within. She squealed at the top of her lungs as he moaned too while they shared an enthusiastic session of each other. Hair pulling and scratched against backs as they returned the fury they felt so long apart. He licked her sore and raw nipples with tender as she gently coaxed him to the highest euphoria imaginable. Strong fingers made circles around the lower buds, and she wiggled under him. Jess came all over his hand and he sinfully licked until he was full then continuing making her scream more.

It was a calming relief to finally have the woman he loved so much laying against his chest again. So many women he tried to replace her with but here was the real thing. The only one he ever loved most.

"I love you," he said peacefully nuzzling his nose into her wild hair. "You are perfect."

Kissing his chest, Jess felt her heart race less as it came down from the high. "You're pretty amazing too."

They shared one more kiss as they listened to the other take deeper breathes to even out their body rhythms. They sat there for several minutes before either got up go shower. Stealing a shirt, Phil quickly washed her clothing, and they sat on the sofa, just talking about anything and everything, while holding hands knowing exactly what they were each thankful for.

"How the hell did you get Phil out of his house?" asked Doug in complete disbelief as they walked in the dining room near six that evening. It was hard to imagine that he was out must less showered and dressed better than he had recently. But there he was smiling like the old days sitting next to Jess. It was next to impossible, but she had managed to convince him. He was certain Jess had her means to getting Phil here.

"It was nothing. Just had to remind him about family and friends," she said with a wide smile as she popped a grape in her mouth. Phil smiled with a nod too.

From across the table, Doug covered his smile watching his best friend and sister, as they ate. They sat so close, and he remembered that neither of them had ever really talked about their relationship to others. Least of all Phil, because… well it was his little sister. Doug loved them both and the idea of them together was scary. But from what he remembered of her letters, he knew how much she truly cared for each of them, but more so with Phil. If he had to thank the man, it was Phil who was able to get Jess to open about the past. No one had been able to not even him.

Her smiles were well missed, and she was certainly better with Phil than that idiot from the Midwest.

"Hey, Jess, how were things in San Diego?" he asked suddenly. The voices around the table hushed as all eyes fell onto Doug. His hands were shaking as he gripped Tracy's hands under the table.

"Well—" she started setting her fork down. "Umm—"

Phil went to grab her hand as she started to lose the words. A small tear escaped but she brushed it away.

"It is what it is Doug," she answered finally put on a fake smile.

Unconvincing, he thought. "You know Sis, I think you're lying."

"What?" she stammered out. Truthfully, she looked shocked at the words he spoke.

"You don't know what you're talking about—"

"I do actually," he smiled. "I know that Phil—" he pointed at his friend, "— makes you the happiest woman in the world and only he can do that."

"Doug, you don't have to say that man," said Phil trying to speak up between the two siblings. "I'm not family—"

"But you are Phil," interjected Stu calmly. "You both are family. We have seen how over the years, how you would care for her in more just a friend's way. Always taking the extra care to make sure Jess was safe and hell you blew up at her when we went to Vegas because you were worried she'd get hurt."

Doug pushed his plate away a moment before taking a deep breath. "Phil, I know you love my sister."

Phil and Jess shared a stunned expression as Doug's smile broadened. Stu, Tracy, and Lauren nodded in agreement but the two in question stared nearly crying.

"I can't imagine a better person for her than you. I love you both and Jess deserves the same happiness Tracy and Lauren have. You do that and always have."

Jess looked at everyone surrounding her, and felt her insides melt at the overwhelming love and kindness they all shared to her and Phil. It even made him speechless for once, and he was known for always having a quick remark in any situation. She could feel his hands close her cheek and realized that his hand was wet from her tears that had escaped. Brushing them away, Phil leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead and smiled against her cheek.

"You're ruining your make up," he grinned as she turned quickly and took the man into her arms in a bear hug nearly knocking him of the dining chair. As they hugged and could finally be open about their relationship for all that it was, Doug and Stu shared a smile as they understood the love they shared.

*dot*

Tomorrow, they were to leave for Missouri for the Marshall's business Christmas party, and despite her protest, Jason had enforced the matter with threats to make her go. Jack was simply enthralled to be traveling again to see Grandpa, a man who never took any notice of him nor of his mother. Traveling first class as always, the three went and arrived finding Seth waiting for them. The two men hugged a moment, happy to see the other, and Jess gave a halfhearted hug. Seth frowned a moment before his face lit up as Jack pulled on his coat pushing back his beanie that covered his eyes.

"Hey little man! Guess what?!" he asked the young boy of nearly three.

"What? Santa?"

"Yes, I saw Santa and he said he forgot a present for you. It's at your Dad's place. Wanna go see it?"

Jason shook his head as the young boy took Seth's hands and they went to his apartment. Once there, he saw other bags already there and here Jess let out a mumbled growl. He didn't think Betty was fucking serious to stay in his place and not her fathers. Seeing it was indeed her bag, he saw Jess take Jack toward the main bedrooms before a scream emitted from her.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS BED YOU GODDAMN BITCH!"

Running over, Jason saw Betty was laying on top of his bedding, wearing a skimpy elf costume and black stilettos. Jack had been dropped by accident and was staring up at his father, watching the two women before him. In her rage, Jess grabbed Jack and their two bags, slamming the door behind them. Later he found she took the keys to one of Jason's cars and had indeed left the property. Where she went, he had no idea, but it must have been somewhere nearby. Trying to call several times, the calls rang before being sent straight to voice mail. Frustrated in the fact she still had to key to this place, Jason stood up to confront Betty and Seth.

"I swear, this wasn't the gift. Jack's is right there under the tree! Look," he said pointing at a medium box under the Christmas tree labeled with Jack's name.

"I thought you weren't bringing the bitch or the boy. You don't deserve her—" started Betty after standing tall against the man's body drawing a finger down his chest. He stepped back holding himself back, but she pulled her arm and instinctively he sharply stepped aside, drawing his hand up striking her across the face.

Stunned by his own strength, he saw Betty fall to the ground holding her face. A dark red mark appeared within moments, he stood there with his hand opened in shock. Betty looked up at him, and he felt a strong urge to kick her, but he couldn't do that. He had to get his shit together and get this woman out of his apartment. Turning he threw her bags near the door and told her and Seth to leave, all while trying to figure out where the hell Jess had taken Jack to.

They didn't return that evening. Jason laid down worried since Jess didn't know the city like he, but he went to sleep concerned, nonetheless. Before he went to bed though, he did ask Seth to check and find her. He called back about an hour later saying she had checked into a hotel under Phil's name. At least she was safe but having used Phil's name meant she had called him for help, which was something he loathed. He was to take of her!

The wind was pleasant, if pleasant meant bitter cold and harsh cold snaps only chilled him to the bone. He didn't like this shit weather, but he knew what had to be done. Jason pulled down his hat and threw it onto the desk along with his backpack. It was roughly nine in the morning and the temperature was only 36 degrees, barely above freezing! Screaming inside, he withdrew his arms from the wool coat and hung it over the seat before going to collect a cup of coffee. Here he found Betty sitting, sipping on hers.

"Morning Jay!" she said cheerfully. Her attire was extremely Christmas and deep down she angered Jason with how childish he still viewed her as. Maybe this year, they could get through the holidays without a gun fight…. Or at least without her returning to his apartment in such a scandalous outfit.

"Hi," he offered grabbing a few of sugars.

"It's so cold here. Wanna warm up? Together?" she darked as she waltzed over confidently.

"What are you talking about?" he asked confused by the question. "We were called back for work. Not to fuck Betty. Jess is miserably cold here all the time. We both enjoy California more."

Jason sat down the tumbler and winced at the pain in his side. Last month he was sent to oversee a transfer between the gangs in Mexico and offer partnership to the winning gang, and as a prize took a literal bullet to prove his strength. Fucking Mexicans and their drugs. Betty had been there, and they had treated her with the highest respect. The woman stood up from her spot and shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe she needs to go then?" She had walked up to him and was standing frankly too close for his liking. Jason left her there standing as he left trying to avoid her.

Today was December 27. He was ready for the holidays more than anything. Jack was able to really interact with others more and this excited Jason and Jess. The young boy was about to be running and grabbing things he shouldn't. On his desk, he put a photo of the three of them next to the one of him and Darcy. Betty disliked this but it was respectful that way because everyone knew his past with her. Everyone feared them in the office too. But concerning them, people were more afraid of their fathers. For Christmas, Jess was told by Betty to decorate the house for the annual Christmas party which Jason hadn't agreed to host, but being considerate, Jess agreed trying to fit in so desperately. It hurt him that she was forced against her will and would suffer at the hands of this cruel mob business. Jess was too innocent to get wrapped up in this.

Jess hadn't been eating well and often was left with Jack in San Diego. It hurt that he couldn't be there more but now being here, he had obligations for his father and sometimes that meant travels around the world on "business". One visit took him to Romania for work and having defied his father, he couldn't do what he was told for once. He was told to kill innocent children, which he could not, would not do that….

Trying to hold in the bile in his stomach, he watched as his phone rang several times of text messages from Betty who was across the room. As continual punishment he was sure for bringing Jess and Jack.

"Jason!" called a loud voice.

Turning in his chair, he saw the brooding man of Mr. Martinez. His hair was slicked back as it always was, his lip curled up in menace, while staring down any and everything below him. His hands were folding behind his back as he watched Jason stand and walk over.

"I wish to speak with you in my office," he stated and turned sharply.

Following the man, he found himself in a leather chair. Clearing his voice, he asked what he needed.

"I suspect you know why," he offered without hint or help.

"I'm sorry but I don't Sir. I really don't know."

"You and my daughter!"

Jason sighed and should have guessed. "Sir, I have nothing but respect for her but my feelings are not the same for her anymore."

Mr. Martinez's lip curled once more. "Boy, do you know that your father and I disagree about you and my beautiful Elizabeth. However, I cannot excuse my daughter's behavior as of late. What do you say?"

Jason listened and carefully formed his words because this man knew his father and the truth of his words would be revealed no matter how rude or kind they were.

"I believe that Betty and I are not suited for one another. She is my daughter's mother, but I am not interested in her that way anymore. I only wish well for her and that she can be understanding toward Jess—"

"Who is Jess really? The young lady you met online and in Vegas?" revealed Mr. Martinez.

"How… do… how do you… know that?!" he asked standing up firmly and clenching his fists together. His eyes widen as he had tried very hard to keep that part of his life a secret. "Jess is my son's mother!"

"Sit down Mr. Marshall! You had a job in Vegas, and you still messed it up! You need to remember you were sent to California to regain our territory there and instead you fathered another love-less child with a woman you barely knew! I would advise you to refrain from shouting at me again!"

"I got the territory back! All of it and more! Including connections to Baja California gangs. I secured a villa in Tijuana for operations there. We can hold more than either you or my father realize if you would get off my ass about it all. Let me work!"

Jason was shaking and on the verge of tears. How, fucking, dare he talk about Jess this way, his mind screamed but, in this instance, he would not, simply could not speak his feelings. Walking as calmly as he could, Jason returned to his desk and finished his task before pulling his hat over his ears and leaving promptly. Betty tried to stop him but stopped when he glared at her.

"Do not come over to my place. Just fucking stay home away from me!"

*dot*

He had been gone for a nearly two years and the constant conversation of his absence was a hot topic among those attending this evening. It should have bothered him but inside he didn't care. He wished ill things to happen to Betty after the stunt she pulled. It didn't really matter this evening though, because he had to be on his best behavior.

Clenching his fist, he knew mobsters didn't care for women or their opinions. Determined to break that cycle when everything was simple, he grew up understanding the "family" business. Now, everything was gathering around him, and he knew tonight would change his life. It was only a few hours of the most powerful families meeting… for social… not planning their… next targets…. Fuck…. Jason looked up to see Jess sitting at the vanity, her chin against the top of her knee.

Her eyebrows were scrunched together as she clasped the small hooks of her heels against her ankles. She wore a beautiful A-Line off-the-shoulder navy blue chiffon dress. The sweeping floor length evening gown lay at prefect length as her toned legs exposed themselves from under the fabric. Fitted just above her neck was a low messy bun adorned with a silver headpiece and matching earrings. Standing, Jess revealed herself fully and here, he stared in delight at the wonderful woman before him. He missed that blue dress of hers, but this showed the mature woman she had become since.

Jess had shown back up on the morning after with Jack apologizing for leaving. Taking her short answer, refrained from mentioning he knew where she was, he halfway smiled knowing the limitation in being who he was. The son of mob boss. However, being that son meant he was well off and all the luxuries were afforded to him without thought. Understanding the business was only part of the work. Selling drugs to junkies and making hit lists came with the territory. Inside the wealth of the two most powerful mob men John Marshall and Caesar Martinez, no one dared to fuck with them or their families.

"You look handsome," said Jess with a smirk. "I must say, you clean up well!"

Jason fully smiled and clasped the cuff around his wrist. "It's difficult to look good in front of people who one hates."

"You don't hate everyone in this party," she said taking his hands a moment. Squeezing them, she looked down at Jack seeing the boy dancing around.

"Did you do this often when you were little?"

Jason nodded as he tucked the white collared shirt into his pants. Buttoning the pants, he pulled the black dinner jacket on and smoothed the edges out.

"Yes, I did a lot. Hated it then but must keep up appearances. It's difficult to remember all this formal shit," he laughed pulling the tie around his neck. "Menswear is restrictive, whereas womenswear is more… flowy."

"This damn tie never works for me," she muttered attempting once more tying a tie on a man's body. She was frowning as the tie slipped between her fingers. Watching her brow wrinkle, he saw just how determined she was about it all. However, looking beyond just her face, he could see a thinner woman than when they left California. Drawing his finger down her cheek, Jess paused to observed him with a smile.

"What are you doing Jason?" she asked, a blush crossing her already redden cheeks.

"Thinking how amazing you are," he answered as Jess finished with his tie.

As though to prove a bigger distraction, Jack came running wearing his own version of his father's attire. Ruffling the young one's hair, Jason was reminded when he attended these kinds of parties with his own parents. At just before six, the small family gathered at the doors and rode to the event venue. Jason saw Jess was pulling her hands together as she stared down the street. An overwhelming calmness took over him as they exited the car. He extended an arm out for her as they stood there at the entrance. Betty was sure to be in attendance but in the moments leading, he squeezed her hands knowing it unnerved her around these unknown people.

"I promise I'll be right by you the whole time. I am being presented something and may have to step away moment," he assured her as they got to the door. "And Jack will be with the other children."

"Are there really this many people?" she questioned as they watched a glittery Betty welcoming each person.

"Whether we like it or not, yes," commented Jason pulling her back and holding her hand firmly. "We got this though. Come. We gotta present ourselves soon."