Memories throughout the last several years filled her mind but knew their time spent with him was all a lie. The only reality was that Jason had secrets that cost her time from those who cared for her.
They literally could not be in a worse spot. They were at a gas station, in the middle of the desert, off a major highway, with little idea where to find a man the Marshalls wanted. For whatever reason, Jess knew that her saying the connection would be frowned upon. It was concerning when Alan wouldn't even look at her. Looking around the group, she saw Phil's exasperated scowl, Stu's nestled brows, and Alan's head bent low. Stu stood tall, his hands on his hips as he tried to look up against the bright, glaring sun.
"What are we going to do?" asked Phil loudly to anyone listening, his head bent low on the hood of the vehicle. Extending his hand, Jess felt a slight shake at the touch. He groaned as he stood up while Stu spoke up.
"We're gonna go to the police," he protested loudly.
"Oh no, we're fucking not!" snapped Jess feeling Phil stand against the idea as well.
"Did you hear that guy?" questioned Phil throwing his hands to his sides. "He will kill Doug, period!"
Stu looked at them with disbelief as his eyes settled on Jess. "Please tell me he's wrong?"
Phil and Jess exchanged looks trying to find one of several choices to pick from. Blinking quickly, she closed her eyes and felt her hands clench against her chest. The memory surrounding that February night came back, fuller than intended, and internally, she knew this was the memory to explain. Something deep within screamed out, begging to keep inside, but this was one time she had to speak up.
"Tell me Phil is wrong," begged Stu, his pleas clear with resolve.
Jess shook her head, tears welling against lashes as her voice shook in a strained cough. Beginning to shiver, she pushed out her words before realizing the pain it still carried.
"He's not Stu," she started, the fist tightened against her clothing. "Jason nearly killed me when I went through his stuff! He – he— struck me with a bat! And if Jack hadn't stopped him—" A muffled noise came as she tried to keep her voice level. She could feel the bat hitting her mentally as the guys around her simply stared.
"If Jack hadn't called out my name, he could've killed me!" she cried, the tears hitting her hands held against her face.
"WHAT!" screamed Stu in disbelief, his hands falling to his side. Alan looked up in concern as well. Walking up to the man, Jess pushed a finger into his chest. Standing several feet away from them was Phil, with crossed arms and a frown on his face as to what to do.
"He killed his daughter's mother," she stated, firmly without pause, a finger jammed into the man's torso. "He murdered her – in anger – he shot her point blank! In the chest!"
Phil lowered his head as he recalled the painful expression she wore. There was a sorrow in the expression which wasn't realized, but he was certainly aware of the position they had been in that night. She had returned completely different, and in a sort of trance that it took everything in his power to pull her out of. He still believed that Jason would do anything to take her and Jack back.
In that moment, Jess revealed without words the terror Jason had impacted on her. She had witnessed things that none of them had. They were all Jason's fault. Things that could not be erased by simply ignoring them. The perfect boyfriend and father; he had played the role for so long that it didn't seem possible.
Phil looked up, seeing Stu, his mouth agape as they watched Jess sob into her hands. Tears were staining her hands as the confession came out.
"You don't get it Stu! You have no idea what power they have!"
At that, Phil stepped forward gathering her into his arms as the harsh words escaped. They had talked about this, and it was something they said would remain private. Shaking in his arms, she let out a screech as they collapsed to the ground. Patting her head and trying his damnest to calm her down, Stu held his hands to his temple taking several paces around the car. Jess was crying random words into Phil's shirt, knowing emotions were getting the best of her. Reliving that moment there on the highway took her back to that frightening moment in the pantry.
"I saw him kill—He murdered her... They will kill Doug if we don't get Chow!" she wept loudly, a death grip on the clothing. "They will – kill Doug – and they won't care!"
Alan walked forward and lightly pulled on her sleeve. He was patting softly on her back unsure exactly what he was doing. When she looked up from Phil, she saw his blank face and instantly felt guilty. Alan knelt to the pair before taking a napkin and drying her face.
"I'm so sorry Alan! I thought they would leave me alone! Leave all of us alone!" she cried tightening her grip around the bearded man. "I'm so sorry Alan. I never meant to hurt you!"
Alan looked up in her sadden blues eyes, seeing the grief-stricken, pained face. For once, he too hugged Jess closely whispering in her ear words of comfort. He accepted her apology and tried to wipe away her tears like Phil would.
"Alan –" she said becoming rigidlystill in his arms.
"I know. You tried to protect us, but you don't have to do so alone. You got the three best friends anyone could have."
Blinking softly at him, she hugged him once more, wrapping her arms around his neck and said sorry again before letting him go. There was a light hint of pink above his beard, but Alan coughed before they turned to the others.
"Chow is a cancer," stated Phil standing up firmly and looked out into the desert. "He has been a cancer since the first day we met him. We're gonna hand him over this guy, Marshall, and then it's done."
Stu was looking at him conflicted about what to do when Alan began calling for their names.
"Hey, Phil," began Alan holding up his phone. Jess was reading it carefully as he tried to push the item into Phil's hands.
"Alan, not now," stated Phil waving his hands. "But I need you, Stu. I can't do this alone."
"Do what alone?" said Stu, his own hands resting on his hips. "We have no idea where he even is."
"PHIL!" called Jess holding up Alan's phone.
"What?!" he replied, turning in place, eyeing them both hesitantly. "We gotta—"
"I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail the other day," said Alan scrolling through the email on the screen. "I wasn't sure what it meant, but now I think it might be from Chow."
Phil snatched the phone and read the email out loud to everyone.
"Fatty, it feels good to be out. I'm close by. Tell no one. I'll be in touch. 'Chow'. This says "Chow."
Jess crossed her arms and eyed the group, as Stu looked onward with confusion.
"How did you not know this was from Chow?" questioned Phil looking at Alan firmly.
"At the time, I thought it was Chow like goodbye You know, like, Chio, arrivederci. You know, Sparrow, Papa John's," stammered out Alan holding his hands up to mimic his words.
"I'm writing him back," said Phil taking the phone again and sending a reply.
"Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on," said Stu, holding his own hands up to stop his friends, but Jess went to stop him allowing Phil to continue.
"Gonna tell him you're happy he's out and you'd love to see him," typed Phil, concentration on the phone and ignoring Stu seemed to be the only help.
"Ooh, I would love to see him," smiled Alan.
In disbelief, Jess shook her head and wiped away another tear falling as she realized Alan's innocence in most situations. It was hard to think he had just comforted her while also being eager to see Chow again.
"Do you even know what's going on?" questioned Stu looking at the pair before him. He eyed Jess quickly before Alan replied.
"Yes, I do," he said quickly. "Phil's doing all the work. Jess is his lover. I'm his assistant... you're standing there looking like an idiot."
"I'm gonna arrange a meeting and we're gonna take him out," said Phil quietly as he typed away madly ignoring most of the conversation around him.
"Take him out?" asked Stu loudly. "Who says that? How do we take someone out?!"
Jess began walking toward the front passenger door as Stu complained.
"We use drugs. Prescription drugs," he said matter of fact, handing the phone back to Alan. "You know, the kind a dentist has access to."
"Good luck finding a dentist who will write fake prescriptions," snapped Stu as Jess opened the door and Phil walked back as well. Turning sharp at Stu's words, his nearly pushed his finger into the bridge of the man's nose.
"Oh, I know one! His name is Stuart Price. Now let's go find a fucking pharmacy." A moment later, he spun on his heels and hurried to the car, slamming the door closed.
"Whoo! You just got schooled, son!" cheered Alan holding onto the item in his hands. Looking up, Jess noticed Stu still hadn't moved yet.
"Are you coming or not?" she called, opening the door to the vehicle.
"I don't like this plan," he replied loudly, his hands up in protest.
"Okay, then. Ciao," laughed Alan walking toward the vehicle too. "I got a pretty dope sense of humor, brah!"
Jess shook her head as Alan's laughter filled the vehicle. Phil, being impatient for Stu, finally started the car after she got in. It didn't take long for them to find a pharmacy. Nervously, Stu and Jess entered the building, pushing back their wind-blown hair. It took everything in her to walk toward the pharmacy's desk. The young man greeted them as Stu handed the prescription needed. Reading it over several times, Jess smiled to the young man as he looked between the pair uneasily.
"This amount with syringes is just weird," he said anxiously. Jess could tell it was really unnerving him greatly. She also noticed the young pharmacist was taking extra lingering glances at her. "Gotta check it out."
"Everything okay?" asked Stu eyeing the young man hoping to quickly get this over with.
"Well, it's just a strange request. This drug, in this amount, and a pack of syringes. It's just a little weird."
Jess smiled brightly at him, resting her hand on Stu's hand. "Yeah. It's kind of an emergency, so..."
In shock, the young man pointed his finger firmly at them. "See, that right there, and you're both acting all fidgety, plus you look like shit... in our business, these are all red flags!"
Stu looked at her silently, his eyes telling her to be quiet as the young man read the prescription again. "I need to call the doctor, make sure everything's okay."
This seemed to lighten Stu's fear a bit. "Aha! Well! You're in luck, because I actually… am the prescribing doctor!" he said confidently pulling his wallet out. "My assistant and I need this for an operation."
"Oh, boy. Another red flag," commented the young man holding up Stu's dental license card. Holding it up he checked it over several times. "It says here you're a dentist."
"Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science," said Stu between gritted teeth. "My assistant and I… need it… for an emergency operation…"
Smiling, Jess tried again to relieve the tension. Mustering up her best smile, she eyed their surroundings as the young man walked off muttered this is fucked up.
"Hey, Dad? I think we got a live one!" called the young man as he went to the back.
Staring at each other, Stu let out a low grumble as an older pharmacist walked up demanded the reasons for the prescription. Thankfully, they had known each other long enough to play off one another to successfully explain the need, which was for an emergency dental operation for a religious organization, and they were giving charity for the time and medicine.
"How'd we do?" asked Phil as they reentered the vehicle after nearly an hours' time. Stu threw the bag of items on the floorboard a moment as he buckled himself in.
"We did good. I got Demerol, a pack of syringes... and almost lost my dental license!"
"Yeah, that kid was nervous as shit though. He was ready to take it too!" laughed Jess as she smiled from the passenger front seat. Letting out a soft sigh, she settled into her seat as Alan and Stu argued a moment before Phil took Alan's phone away from him. Checking the email, he exhaled loudly saying Chow wanted to meet Alan tonight in Tijuana.
"It says came alone," read Phil looking around the vehicle at everyone.
"Tijuana's the bomb," said Alan with a smug expression. As the group eyed one another and Stu let out a fuck.
*dot*
Jess was staring at herself in the mirror, he could tell. The baggy eyes and pale expression lingered as she finished brushing her teeth after throwing up for the second time now. This pregnancy was stressful enough and the baby wasn't helping matters when it came to calming down. The constant worry of what actions Jason may take, and the lost years meant also acknowledging the truth of their predicament. From his point of view, Phil lost more than anyone would realize. It was happiness that was robbed of enjoying Jack's infanthood as his true father. Watching her from the bathroom door, she didn't appear to hear him as she choked back tears as she brushed a third time now. Lightly tapping on the door, she jumped at the sound making him grimace. He was certain his face showed the same concern as hers.
"You okay?" he asked pushing his hair back after handing a small towel to her. "Are you sure you want to come?"
Accepting it, she wiped her face realizing she had been crying. Gathering herself into his warm embrace, he kissed the top of her hair, giving a solid squeeze, and muttered everything will be alright. Pushing the hair from her face, she looked up at him and smiled softly.
"Thank you," she whispered as they locked the house door behind them. "You always know how to cheer me up."
"Always have, always will Jess," he said stopping a moment to hold her hands. They were clammy and shaking. "I will always be here for you. I promise."
Nodding, they locked up their house and returned to the vehicle, ignoring the silence between the group as he took charge of driving. Pulling onto the highway, he looked over his shoulder to address everyone.
"All right, we need a plan," asked Phil to the group. Looking around, he hoped someone would say something to ease the conversation as they continued toward the border.
"They're meeting on a bus bench in a public place... so Alan needs to convince Chow to go someplace more private," stated Jess softly pulling her hair into a messy bun on top her head.
"Some place where we can sneak up on him and drug him," added Phil nodding at Jess.
"Like where?" questioned Stu feeling unease at the ideas,
"I don't know, like an alley," said Phil deafeningly. That seemed unusual even to Jess as she held up a hand before Alan spoke up suddenly.
"What about a movie theater?"
Phil's hand gripped the steering wheel excitingly, before proclaiming that was a great idea. "The lights go down, we take the seats behind him, we jab him, and it's fucking done."
Smiling at Jess and the group, she let out a giggle at the idea. "Where are we coming up with this money for said movie?"
"I'll jab him if you want," said Alan confidently to everyone. "I've drugged people before."
"Yeah, us," muttered Stu under his breath.
"No offense, but we're not letting you handle any drugs," smirked Jess shaking her head at Alan. "You'll kill someone."
"Oh, please, I'm an expert!" he said angrily as he stared her down. "Remember the marshmallows in Thailand? I made it so you could eat at least three before hitting a fatal dose."
Silence filled the vehicle after he stated that. Turning in her seat and eyeing Stu, he spoke up before words of protest could form.
"Wait! So, you're saying I would've died if I had had four?" he interrogated Alan pulling the bag of items farther from the bearded child.
"Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu!" protested Alan folding his arms.
"That insane theory is the only reason I'm still alive?"
"Yes! And you're welcome, by the way!" beamed Alan happily at the trio before him.
"Don't say you're welcome for almost killing me!" snapped Stu in frustration.
"Fine," sighed Alan.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"God damn it!" shrieked Stu as Jess and Phil snickered at his expense.
Seated in the passenger front seat, Jess checked her phone briefly before it fell from her hands onto the floorboard with a soft thud. It had been an hour and nightfall had come. It seemed a longer drive than thought, but the calming ride was enough to make her extremely sleepy.
"She really doesn't do well on car rides," smiled Stu reaching for the fallen phone and handed it back to Phil. "I remember Doug saying if it's over two hours, she out."
"Yeah," agreed Phil setting it next to his which was quietly giving instructions as they inched toward the crossing into Mexico. "This whole mess with Marshall is bad for her and –"
"Wait, which Marshall?" questioned Alan. Looking over, Phil turned in his seat a moment before sneering at the thought, as he asked for their passport cards.
"What?" asked Alan stalling a moment before letting it go.
"Which do you think Alan?" he demanded, setting them with his and Jess's.
"I mean," he stammered out looking at Phil and Stu. "It could be either. Clearly Jess is into older men. A sophisticated man like yourself –"
Stu hung his head and watched Phil grip the steering wheel roughly. It took everything in his power not to yell as Alan continued to make rude observations about him and Jason.
"— and Jess knows well educated—"
"Alan! The fucking boy! The boy is who I'm talking about!" shouted Phil aimed at Alan.
"Well Jason isn't a boy though. He is an adult," replied Alan looking around confused. "He's over eighteen, right?"
Annoyed by the statement, Phil tried to ignore it but the lingering comment from Alan only rubbed salt in the wounds.
"Jason Marshall is a fucking boy AND always will be a fucking boy!" he said gripping the steering wheel too tight. Slowing down, he changed into a shorter lane and finally arrived at the border crossing complex. Heat radiated off his collar as he spoke loudly once more.
"She lived with the bastard for two years! He stole Jack from me! And that fucker knew Jack was never his!"
"What? Jack is your son?" asked Stu loudly pushing himself out of the seat. "How the hell did he keep that a secret?"
"He had the results forged and that was what Jess and I got," mumbled Phil stretching in his seat looking ahead at the long line. It would take probably an hour to get through at this time of night.
"How many secrets did he have! Geez!"
Throwing his hands up a moment, Phil smirked, remembering back to the papers from the hospital with Mr. Thomas. Jason sure had an interesting read-through but the high level of details about him and Jess was concerning. How much was known and would he willing to use it against them?
"I don't know, but the boy knew a lot about me and Jess and our past. Like when she was arrested junior year at prom—"
"Was that the year she dressed up as an owl?" interrupted Stu rubbing his chin thinking back.
"I bet she looked cute," commented Alan folding his hands together, being ignored by Stu and Phil.
"That was homecoming senior year," confirmed Phil. "No, she went to an after-prom party with several classmates, some of whom were seniors. Around midnight I got several texts saying she'd been drinking and needed a ride home. Before I got there, everyone was arrested 'cause someone snitched. Cops bitched me out thinking I was in charge of them, but I took Jess and left. She stayed with me till sobering up and couldn't get in trouble with Doug."
"I remember him calling me asking if I knew where she was," recalled Stu rubbing his chin. "You two weren't— you know… together?"
"No, not then," admitted Phil, feeling nervous about saying all this. It was one thing to admit it now, but thinking back it did unnerve him the actions he took. "I had feelings like that, but I didn't act on it till the next spring. When we went to Lake Tahoe, remember?" confessed Phil.
"You guys stayed behind when Doug and I went on that all day hike…." Stu's quiet voice asked in the silent vehicle as Alan stared at Phil too. Freezing for a moment, Phil reminisced what the way Jess had ripped off his pajama top and kissed tenderly a trail down his navel, teasing what lay under his pajama pants. Should Stu know that he and Jess spent much of that day together in bed while they were off adventuring in the mountains?
"Phil, what did you two do?" carefully asked Stu a few moments of silence. He could feel his cheeks warm at the thought. God, how experimental they had been that March morning, and how she allowed his hands to follow paths toward places he shouldn't have been at.
"Umm," said Phil with a shrug pushing the memory away to calm himself down. "Jess and I… we… learned about one another."
"I said it before male teachers and female students are among the highest precent of high school romances," said Alan quietly crossing his arms.
"So you two—" Stu dared to begin to speak before Phil turned around and brought his finger to his lips as Jess rustled in place to face them. Her eyes were still closed, and she appeared sound asleep. He looked right into his friend's eyes and sighed.
"We began crossing the line well before Lake Tahoe. Stu, you know what happened in New York but neither you or Doug really understand what that did to her. She never talked about it except with me. She deserves the best after all she's been through, and I made Doug a promise that she would have that. Wasn't my plan to fall in love like I did – I only meant to be a friend."
Observing the quiet woman before him, her scrunched up nose and eyes jerking around, it took him a moment seeing her peaceful stand before he turned back to Stu. Seeing her like this made him smile and he knew the beauty completely. Jess was someone that he adored in every respect, even ways that irritated him, but he knew the issues were never fully her fault.
"I only meant to be a friend to her at first," he repeated brushing away stray hairs from her face. Knowing the lies he told himself and realizing how deep everything became meant understanding emotions neither had wanted to acknowledge. Since becoming conscious of their actions, on both their parts, Phil smiled once more and placed his hands over her warm cheek. Stu patted his arm causing him to remember words from Thailand. Sitting back in his seat and hushing Alan as they approached the agent waiting for them, Phil beamed brightly.
Phil, I think Jess will realize how much you've worked for the both of you. She's been clouded by Jason, and she will come back to you.
"Stu, you were right," he said picking up their passports. "She came back."
Arriving, Phil stated their business to the border agent. He handed over their four passports before the agent waved his flashlight into the vehicle, stopping briefly on the sleeping Jess. It was instructed to wake her being the owner of the vehicle. Lightly shaking her, she confirmed ownership before sitting upright and stretched against the seatbelt.
"That was a long drive," she commented after yawning loudly and pulling her hair down and quickly running her fingers through it.
Agreeing, Phil turned onto the main streets of Tijuana. They traveled down several streets trying to find the right area before Jess pointed it out quickly about twenty minutes in. Getting out, Alan walked over to the bus stop bench and waited. It seemed to take forever and constantly the man would look up waving at them making the trio sigh heavily.
"You know, you were right," said Stu after some time had passed. "That place in Arizona. It's not gonna help him. There is no facility that can fix this guy. We're gonna spend the rest of our lives dealing with him... because we're all he has now."
Jess turned to face the men nodding in agreement.
"Oh, shit, check it out!" said Phil suddenly sitting up pointing out the windshield.
"Is that Chow?" asked Stu, adjusting his glasses for a moment as they leaned forward trying to get a clear image of the scene before them. They watched the interaction between Alan and Chow, only their rugged breath heard. Jess let out a quick giggle as Alan leaned forward giving Chow a sudden kiss on his cheek.
"What the fuck?!" exclaimed Phil.
"Did he just kiss him?" asked Stu.
A moment later the trio gasped as Chow stood up suddenly and began walking toward them, Alan closely following behind. Chow grabbed a nearby object and threw it at the windshield after the trio dipped down hiding from view.
"Get out of the car, you mutts!" screamed Chow.
Covering her ears, Jess heard them shouting at each other. Somehow, he managed to calm down Chow before he fully stopped beating on the window. Stu and Phil were telling how they missed him as Jess was shaking at the noise surrounding her. None of them were aware that because of the screaming it was triggering her to the night when Jason had attacked her. Shaking in her seat, she started crying causing everyone to get quiet.