1.
It has been two months since my previous entry, and Selina and I have made a fair bit of progress. We have been at nine different Miseryst services, in which we have learned much about the Miseryst religion. Three services in particular I found to be rather interesting, insightful, and helpful for my plan, and so I will document what occurred in those, as well as what knowledge the priest bestowed upon Selina and I.
In between the trips to the alcove in Galalea that Selina and I made, I continued working at Alfred's dojo, helping him and Selina teach people neo-karate. It's a decent job to do in between my crime-fighting, although I will probably do it less and less as I get more and more involved in my mission. Working at the dojo gives me another sense of purpose and companionship that is vital to my health, as, if I did not constantly provide my mind with those two things, instead spending my free time wondering alone and purposeless throughout my mansion, eating $200 ice-cream, playing Gotham Legends, or studying perfume, I would constantly be reminded of my parents and the fact that they are both corpses, and my sorry state of mind would continue to deteriorate.
My meditation abilities are also becoming stronger. I find myself more and more able to concentrate on my surroundings and free my mind, which I have found to be rather comforting and useful for me. And my dreams have become more and more frequently about Mayor Garcia.
All in all, I have found a sense of comfort and purpose when around Selina and Alfred, I have enjoyed my time doing humble work at the dojo, and my time spent pursuing my goal to eliminate the wart of Gotham City that caused not only my parents, but many other people, to be eliminated, feels different to the time I spent at the gun stores. I suppose those two missions of mine are similarly motivated and connected, but my current one... feels better? Perhaps it is because the end-goal is not murder but imprisonment. Or perhaps it is something more than that.
"Today, I would like to welcome the newest members of our congregation," said the priest on our next attendance at the alcove, "May the newest members please stand up?"
We stood up. People clapped.
"I'm sure we would all like to send a few slaps along their direction in order to congratulate them."
People slapped their faces. We sat down. The choir sang.
"Now, I would like to say a few words today about the early life of our God Ferdinand," began the priest, "Our God Ferdinand was born many years ago in a humble village to parents who were both farmers. From his very first moment on Earth, it was clear that he was destined for great things. Firstly, the newborn babe had an unusual birthmark on his lower thigh, which was in the shape of two dots for eyes, a moustache, and a smile. Now, as you all know, while the dove above a tree may be our unofficial symbol for our activities that do not please the heretics, that birthmark is our official religious symbol in our public documents.
The second unusual thing about our God Ferdinand was that he did not wail as he emerged from his mother's womb. In fact, his mother shed no tears over him as she gave birth to him. His parents wasted no nights over nurturing him to bed, for he was a peaceful, happy child that slept in silence at night. When he had excreted, he merely tugged on his parent's clothing. When he wished to be fed, he merely pointed to his mouth. He shed not a single drop of a tear from the very moment he was born.
Now, of course, this was very much remarked upon, but no one really suspected a thing at first beyond the thought that he was simply a happy child, and that his parents were blessed. And in fact, they truly were.
For it became soon apparent that the child was something supernatural when he continued not crying at anything, not even at such a traumatic incident such as his meeting with the Serpent of Sodom. You see, the village was located at the edge of the largest forest in the world at the time, the Forest of Sodom. Not even the lumberjacks dared to venture any further than a few miles in, for, due to its large size, it created large monstrosities of animals that would be no match for any human. Of course, these animals went completely extinct as the forest shrunk in size and was eventually completely cut down.
The largest monstrosity of them all was the Serpent of Sodom, a fat, yellow creature that covered up a seventeenth of the forest with its body. For most of its life it was completely stationary, simply eating the creatures that came too close from its multiple mouths that were present on its front, end, and sides. Its body weaved around the trees, extending for miles into the distance, and essentially becoming a path of its own in the forest. Animals would sometimes create shelters within its skin, plants sometimes even grew on it. While the serpent was mostly motionless, it occasionally decided to migrate to a different area, an event which would shake up the entire forest when it happened. The Serpent of Sodom was the last creature to die out from that forest, and, as far as we know, it had been there from the beginning.
So it came to occur that, during the years in which our God Ferdinand was born, the Serpent of Sodom moved close to the edge of the forest, where the village was located. Our God Ferdinand, being the child that he was, was not wary of the dangers that people told him were in the forest. In fact, the monstrosities that the lumberjacks and the old women described to him only made him more curious. He was even further excited by the prospect that the largest creature of all, the Serpent of Sodom, had recently migrated to a place near the village.
So it came to pass that our God Ferdinand decided to sneak out during the shivering hours of the night and wander off into the forest. He never spoke of the other creatures that he encountered during his time there, for clearly his mind was wholly focused on his encounter with the serpent, although there is a mention in the sacred texts of an octopus-like witch that some scholars say was Misery in disguise, trying to lure our God Ferdinand even then.
What we do know is that our God Ferdinand eventually wandered off far enough to come across the serpent, which he initially saw as a thick yellow mass lying in front of him, blocking his path and leading far off into the distance. Just as he had realised that this was the Giant Serpent of Sodom, a mouth appeared on the skin, showing two elongated front teeth and around them a dozen smaller but similarly sharpened teeth on the top and bottom of the mouth.
The serpent said, "So you are the being who is said to replace Happiness."
Scholars of Miserysm have theorised that this line implies the existence of beings other than Happiness and Misery. Perhaps the Giant Serpent of Sodom is one of them. Our God Ferdinand did not reveal it to us, so we must be satisfied, my children, with the knowledge that he gave us about Misery and Happiness.
In response to the statement of the giant Serpent of Sodom, our God Ferdinand was reported to have simply stared in shock, being the child that he was. The Giant Serpent of Sodom then chuckled.
"Because it is said you have such a fate," said the serpent, "I will not eat all of you, only your right hand."
And so it is written that the Serpent of Sodom ate our God Ferdinand's right hand. Covering up the blood, he went back to his home. By that time, it was already beginning to be the dawn of day, and his disappearance had been noticed. The village was beginning to become anxious, and so when our God Ferdinand returned to the village, there was much joy at first.
However, then they saw his wound, and when he told them what the Giant Serpent of Sodom had said, they all marvelled, although they were confused as to the words' meaning. Even stranger was the fact that, despite having his arm completely torn off, and despite being a child unaccustomed to pain, he was still smiling. The villagers saw this and they all marvelled.
"Truly, you are not of this world," they said.
And truly, they were right. This shows, my children, how our God Ferdinand was powerful even in his human form. To be able to bear the pain of the Giant Serpent of Sodom is no small matter. Perhaps it is a lesson to us all to bear our pain while committing our acts of misery so that we may join our smiling God Ferdinand at the end of his struggle."
2.
"Today's sermon will be about the wickedness of Misery," said the priest at the next service of interest, "For he truly is wicked in every conceivable way.
Our God Ferdinand, true and pure of heart, ascended to the heavens and found that there were two beings already there, denying his rightful rule over humankind. Happiness' physical appearance is not heavily described beyond the fact that he is like a ray of sunshine, obviously nothing in comparison to our God Ferdinand, but Misery's appearance is heavily described, and let me tell you, my children, if you ever see a being that looks like the description I will now read out to you, you must slap yourself immediately and pray that our God Ferdinand will deliver you from temptation.
Misery is a tall, dark figure with a brooding face and slanted eyes. His arms have spikes sharper than the sharpest rose thorn, his feet have no toes, instead being one square block of a foot. His arms and chest are strong, in order to be able to defeat you physically if you try to fight him. He has two large, ugly wings on his back, spreading out to make him be able to fly, as if he was some sort of perverted bird. However, his most horrifying detail is his two, large horns on top of his head that loom down upon you as you stare at him. What a truly disturbing image our God Ferdinand describes to us, and may we never see him.
But why did Misery sin? Why was he cast down into the Pit of Despair by our God Ferdinand? Well, you see, it is because he defied our God Ferdinand by refusing to submit to his power. When our God Ferdinand ascended to the heavens, he was not immediately recognised as an entity, but as a human. How can you say that he is human? I have spoken previously, my children, about the Giant Serpent of Sodom and his encounter with it. How can you doubt our God Ferdinand's divinity when you know about that? And be assured, my children, that Happiness and Misery knew about it, for they know everything to do with the human realm.
To doubt our God Ferdinand is a sin, would you not agree? In fact, it is blasphemy, on the level of the heretics and the unbelievers. Therefore, Misery and Happiness both sinned, and must be punished.
Our God Ferdinand very quickly proved his divinity and punished Misery for his insolence. With his divine levels of mirth, he spat upon the ugly form of Misery and shrivelled him down to no less than a mere rock. This is the true power of our God Ferdinand. Misery was not able to retaliate in the slightest, and was sent immediately to the then newly-made Pit of Despair, where he until this day resides, imprisoned from the heavens forever.
But while he may be imprisoned from the heavens, he is not imprisoned from the Earth, and he still exacts his terrible influence upon the humankind of this planet. And although his power is greatly diminished, he still is a divine being, and he is still able to corrupt the minds of mortals. This, my children, is why so few people are exposed to the truth of our God Ferdinand. Not because our God Ferdinand is weak, but because humans are. Because they allow themselves to be tempted by the sweet promises of Misery. This is why atheists exist. This is why Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, all of them exist. This is why all of these people follow false religions and false beliefs.
Misery is not pleased with his merciful punishment, and so wishes to retaliate against our God Ferdinand by taking away his subjects. And, be assured my children, if you do not follow in the ways of our God Ferdinand, you will be cast down into the Pits of Despair. And you do not wish to be in the Pits of Despair, my children. The small amount of misery that our God Ferdinand asks from each of you is nothing compared to the misery you will feel when you enter the Pits of Despair. And remember, you will be in those Pits for an eternity. Your slumber with Misery will never end. You will never wake up from it.
But why are the promises of Misery so tempting to the unbelievers? Well, you see, just like our God Ferdinand needs our acts of misery to make himself stronger, so does Misery need acts of hedonism to make himself stronger. For Misery's goal is not only to enslave the humans that belong to our God Ferdinand. He also wishes to escape the Pits of Despair. He wishes to go against the judgement of our true Lord, for he is TRULY a sinner! The only way he can do this is by tempting humans with hedonism.
This is why, my children, you are not allowed to feel intense feelings of happiness. Muted feelings are acceptable, in fact, are a part of human nature, but you must not allow yourself to drink, to be indulgent in worldly affairs that make you happy, to have sex unless it is for the explicit reason of creating children, and even then you must not enjoy it, or to enjoy your acts of misery, lest you fall onto the side of Misery.
The sinners, the unbelievers, try to avoid misery, they shun it, because Misery compels them to do so. Misery does not wish for them to serve our God Ferdinand, and so they are encouraged to escape the feeling of misery as soon as possible. This is why it is written that we must do the acts of misery for them, so that they too can serve our Lord, albeit unwillingly.
And Misery does not only target the heretics or the sinners. Oh no, my children. He will also target you. Whenever you feel compelled to leave Miserysm, whenever you feel compelled to indulge in happiness, whenever you start to question whether or not what we do is morally right, KNOW that it is Misery who is tempting you! Do not let him! Whenever you see that dark figure with the spiked arms, the slanted eyes, and the large horns, run, my children! Run lest you be enslaved into the Pits of Despair, like all the other unfortunate humans are.
I hope that none of the congregation currently present will heed the word of Misery. Gotham is slowly but steadily becoming a city of our God Ferdinand, and I implore you to not change that. I implore that you consider the Pits of Despair that are potentially awaiting you, hoping to ensnare you in their treacherous arms, and that you have a choice. A choice to continue following the light or to accept yourself into those treacherous arms, to be submerged into despair forever."