AN: This chapter was originally going to be titled "Baby Fever", but then I decided I already had Shaun and Lea talk about being ready for children, so I decided to make most of this chapter about Shaun worrying about a disease he might carry.

Summary: After convincing Shaun's patient's biological father, Lea expresses her desire to have a child to Shaun. Also, after talking to Park's patient and his brother, Shaun considers something more serious he could have inherited from his father that he could pass on to his possible children. Set at the end of "Growth Opportunities".

After much convincing, Mick finally decided to give a part of his liver to his biological daughter after Lea showed him a video of Skyler singing. Fortunately, the 11-year-old's recovery was going well, and the two families were now bonding.

In addition, after Lea mentioned to Shaun that she was happy she at least tried to save the family business despite the damage it did to her relationship with her brother, Shaun complied with Park's request to talk to the two brothers where one was dying of pancreatic cancer.

Although Shaun's story of him and Steve was reassuring for Chris and Olli to hear, hearing Chris' diagnosis made Shaun think about something else unrelated to any of his current patients or even the situation with Dr. Lim.

"How is the little girl?" Lea asked as she noticed Shaun walk through the door. She was storing the pasta away in the Tupperware to put in the refrigerator.

"Skyler is going to be okay," answered Shaun, looking solemn and not in the mood for any sexy time.

"That's good," sighed Lea, closing the refrigerator as she noticed that something was obviously bothering her husband...and something else related to Skyler was also on her mind.

"Are you...okay?" Shaun asked, taking a seat in a chair at the kitchen island.

"Shaun," Lea sighed, taking a seat next to him. "You know, when I talked to your patient's biological father and showed him the video of her singing, he guessed it was my daughter."

"And then you told him it was his biological daughter," assumed Shaun.

"Yes, I did," nodded Lea, folding her hands together and exhaling deeply as she tried not to cry. "But it actually got me thinking about our daughter. I mean, we could have an almost-one-year-old crawling around here right now."

Their unborn daughter, S. Elizabeth Dilallo-Murphy, would be seven-months-old today if the clot in the umbilical cord didn't take her would-be life. The only time they ever saw their little berry was through ultrasound pictures. After the D&E, Dr. Lim, Claire, Jordan, and the nurses offered them a chance to hold their daughter and say goodbye, even baptize and cremate or bury her with a lovely funeral...but the bereaved parents declined as they were buried too deep in their grief.

When the complications happened, Shaun and Lea had started choosing her name. They mutually settled for Elizabeth as a middle name but debated whether the baby would be a Sadie, Scarlett, Sophia, or Stella (the names they had narrowed down to).

"Yes, we could have," agreed Shaun. "What about her? Are you sad about her again?"

"Actually, it got me thinking that..." Lea hesitated before spitting it out. "I want a baby...now."

"We still need to wait a bit until Dr. Winkler says it's safe for you," reminded Shaun.

"I know. It's just that I want to start trying as soon as possible. Right when Dr. Winkler says it's safe...if that's okay with you," justified Lea. "I'll be ready when you're ready. So, I'll be making an appointment as soon as possible."

Shaun thought for a moment because what he needed to share with Lea tonight was also related to the concept of children, but he hadn't thought about it until he talked to Chris and Olli and thought about how Skyler's condition was genetic.

It wasn't about whether or not he was mentally ready to start trying for another baby, but it was actually about the possibility of his child inheriting something else from him other than ASD - something deadly, something with a five-year survival rate of 12%.

His abusive father (whom he hadn't thought about in a long time) died from it, Shaun might succumb to it in 10 years, and his child could eventually die from it when they are older - pancreatic cancer.

In some cases, pancreatic cancer was genetic, so there was a possibility that Shaun was a carrier, meaning that his children could lose their father before they become adults.

He has performed a few prophylactic surgeries - mastectomies, salpingectomies, oophorectomies, hysterectomies, prostatectomies, orchiectomies, and colectomies - on patients who had lost relatives and loved ones to breast, ovarian, uterine, cervical, gynecological, prostate, testicular, colon, rectal, and anal cancer.

Some of these patients actually chose their lives over their desire to have children.

Three years ago, Shaun and Claire actually assisted Dr. Andrews with performing a double mastectomy, radical hysterectomy, and even a vulvectomy (all prophylactic) on a 21-year-old due to all kinds of breast and gynecological cancers that happened to her relatives. Many female relatives survived and succumbed to bouts of breast cancer, but cancer of the reproductive organs was all the rage. Her mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother died from ovarian cancer before the age of 50. Her maternal aunt had a prophylactic oophorectomy but then underwent a hysterectomy at 32 to survive cervical cancer. Her cousin was diagnosed with uterine cancer at 27, and then decided to jump straight to a hysterectomy despite being in stage one. Her older sister also had long-term plans to remove her ovaries, but then got diagnosed with cancer of the vulva and vagina at age 24 (something she kept dismissing as a yeast infection).

The patient wanted to be the first woman in her family to survive.

In the future, Shaun might need to keep a watchful eye on himself when he develops symptoms such as abdominal pain, loss of appetite, unintended weight loss, jaundice, light-colored stool, dark urine, and blood clots.

"I could have pancreatic cancer," admitted Shaun.

"What?" Lea's mouth opened in disbelief. She and Shaun had been married for only almost four months and he already got a cancer diagnosis at 30? "I mean, did a doctor..."

"No, not now. In the future," corrected Shaun. "Maybe in 15-20 years. Maybe 10. My biological father died from it, and it is sometimes genetic."

"So..."

"You could lose me to pancreatic cancer someday. I might not live past the age of 50," furthered Shaun, tears welling up in his eyes. "And our children might lose me before they become adults."

"Is this your way of telling me you don't want kids?" Lea's voice broke. "Because if..."

"No, I do want a child," clarified Shaun, breathing heavily and distressingly ruffling his hair. "We just need to be prepared for the possibility of you and them losing me too early. I'll have to be extra cautious and take things seriously when I start exhibiting symptoms that could be related to pancreatic cancer."

"Shaun, it's okay," reassured Lea, placing her hands over her husband's shoulders. "If that happens, the kids and I will be there with you every moment you can. Chemo, radiation, surgeries, and even palliative care if it is terminal."

"I won't be there to watch them become adults if I die," sniffled Shaun, shuddering lightly.

"Also, because you know it's possible that you're going to get it and because of your brilliant mind, you might be able to take your early symptoms seriously and catch it early," comforted Lea.

"Pancreatic cancer spreads really fast, and it is hard to catch early," rambled Shaun. "Our children will probably get it, too. And it will be my fault because I passed it on to them. I need to get tested now. We need to..."

"Shaun, slow down," soothed Lea, taking Shaun's hands into her own. "Did you do any family research? Do you know how old your paternal grandparents were when they died? Do you even know how they died? I think you would feel so much better if you did some research on your father's side. Maybe do some digging on Ancestry and FindaGrave."

"No, we need to be sure..."

"Shaun, maybe you should do your own research before jumping to conclusions. Okay?" Lea suggested. "After all, that jackass's cancer could have been a fluke, and that was probably something like karma coming back to bite him in the ass."

"Okay," Shaun said. "That would be a good idea."

Lea nodded with a light smile before kissing Shaun on the lips.

All night, Shaun did some research.

He went straight to FindaGrave, and then typed in "Ethan Robert Murphy", "1971", "2019", and "Crimson Dawn Cemetery". He quickly found the grave of his father and then briefly observed everything he saw. He was buried near Steve, his parents, Great-Uncle Stanley, and Great-Aunt Ruth (all of whom had flat granite gravestones). Just like the graves of Shaun's paternal grandparents, Ethan's was a joint headstone. "Murphy" was engraved at the top, and below was "Ethan Robert Murphy, 1971-2019" on the left and "Marcie Marie Lambert, 1972 -" on the right.

He instantly clicked on "Charles Robert Murphy", Ethan's father. He died at 83 two months ago, presumably from natural causes. He then clicked on "Marilyn Ruth Turner Murphy", Ethan's mother. She died two years ago at age 79 from COVID complications.

Shaun also clicked on Charles' and Marilyn's parents, seeing that they died in their 80s and 90s as did their siblings, and on average, their grandparents and beyond died in their 60s, which was actually the average life span a century or two ago.

According to records, Shaun's Uncle James, Uncle Nathan, Uncle Luke, and Aunt Vivian (Ethan's siblings) were still alive - currently at the ages of 58, 56, 53, and 48. The siblings of Charles and Marilyn (Ethan's aunts and uncles) were either dead or still alive at ages 88, 86, 77, and 13. Stanley died of a heart attack in his 70s and Ruth died in a car crash in her teens.

Despite finding no evidence that pancreatic cancer could be genetic on his father's side (going back as far as six generations and only going by the age of death in a relative), Shaun still decided to undergo some testing.

"I've decided to get tested...even though there is barely evidence according to FindaGrave," decided Shaun the next morning at breakfast.

"Even if it's positive, it doesn't mean our kids won't have a life worth living if you pass it on to them," reassured Lea.

After two days, the results revealed that Shaun was not a carrier (testing negative for BRCA, CDKN2A, STK11, TP53, and PRSS1) and it was evident that Ethan's cancer was a fluke since all the death records of his ancestors he looked up did not list pancreatic cancer as a cause of death.

AN: I hope you all enjoyed. Please review :)

Next Chapter Prompt:
Shaun and Lea cool down in the shower together after work.