Love Struck Eternal

by mT Shadow

Change is not always for the better. Eighteen years have passed since the events of the second most major war for the middle east had come to a close. Leaders have come and gone, society itself has changed, and those who seek a different outcome have gone dark. The focus is now on one person. Yet her story will change the world forever. Following down her father's dark past.

10. Chapter 10

Love Struck Eternal

Chapter 10 - Plans change.

Sam's POV, A few hours later.

I was done with all my drops and now carrying my funds to the bank. Mocha was keeping up and thankfully it looked like the M.E.A.F wasn't out much today in ways of patrols. After this drop I'll be heading back to the house.

As we were maybe a few minutes out I heard my phone going off in my pocket. When I got around to seeing who it was calling I grew scared seeing it was Rosco. So despite my fear, I answered because this had to be important.

"What's up?" I said to him as he seemed pretty calm on the other end answering back.

"Got some information you may be interested in. Was wondering if you could meet up?"

"I'm on the way to the bank at the moment, but I can meet with you after. How important is this information?"

"Important enough to have me call you." He replied as I kept up my pace. Deciding to take that for what it was, I went on to say to him.

"Fine. Meet me off of seventh street station. Should only be a few minutes."

"I know the place. Meet you there. I'll be driving."

"Okay." I replied as I hung up and picked up speed.

Now the next few minutes consisted of me making a deposit into my account and rushing on over to the location which wasn't that far from the bank. Rosco was there waiting in his truck and he held open the door for Mocha who hopped into the backseat as I got into the front. Once he got back in to start the engine did I ask him.

"So what's so important? Is this about the robbery?"

Nodding he replied.

"Yeah. I'm not dumb enough to push my luck with Zandro. He'll figure out it was me who robbed him sooner or later and with the way things are going I can only buy myself a few more days. I'm gonna have to leave the country."

"Where are you gonna go?" I questioned as I was upset he had to do this because of me.

With his eyes on the road he replied.

"My safest bet is the states. Zandro can issue a hit on me over there but the U.S is off limits as far as killing me goes. I'll be safe there. But you need to be aware Sam that once Zandro finds out it was me he's gonna issue another investigation."

"From who? I thought they were already doing one themselves?" I said back in confusion as he quickly nodded and replied.

"They are. But what you don't know is that behind the scenes there are people who watch everyone and everything that happens in this world. It's all online and every country and PMC uses it as a way to get around the legal system. If G.U.N needed your uncle killed for example; they would go here to make sure it gets done and without anyone knowing they were the ones who ordered the hit."

"How's that possible? Who would be performing the operation?" I asked him as we were clearly on the way back to his house. About there he replied to my question.

"Other private military contractors. Most of which work for a government but there are a few who are working solely for themselves. Organizations like terrorist cells and so on. It's called "the network". A site you could find yourself and pay to look at private contracts issued by governments and corporations like G.U.N or the M.E.A.F. If you're part of a PMC or a lone contractor willing to risk their neck for some money, you can apply for the contracts that are listed and go perform the operation. It's easier to do when you're solo because if you're a PMC working for let's say G.U.N, you would need permission from G.U.N before being allowed to actually go on the operation. Just in case it fails they can deny they're involvement."

"That sounds super fucking creepy. So I could just put someone up for death?"

Nodding he replied.

"If you have the money, sure. But the network won't waste their time on small things like that. Most of their business is military based or focused on hunting down terrorists and other valuable targets. Your father for instance is on the site. He's been listed since he was like eighteen or something."

"What?" I questioned in disbelief as we came to a stop outside his house. Looking over at me with a gentle smile, he urged me back.

"Let's go inside and I'll show you what I mean."

I was hesitant but regardless followed the tiger into his home where we proceeded to sit down in his kitchen. I laid out my bag as Mocha got a spot under the table. Rosco got a laptop from the living room and once back where I was; he sat down next to me and guided me to the site he was talking about. My eyes widened when I saw how simple it was. Government contracts were posted all on the home page, in a list of sorts; that varied from the type of job and the price for which it seemed like it would pay.

Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Numbers that blew me away until he switched the preferences to show just what to me looked like solo V.I.P targets. Single minded contracts focused on killing special people. Again labeled by price and towards the very top I saw my father's name. Alongside others who I barely recognized. Lots of middle eastern targets judging by the names and some guys in Africa I couldn't pronounce. Probably warlords or something. However some names I did know of were ones like Hecan Moore, my uncle Char, the Chinese president, Russian president, and basically almost any other world leader out there. However all of them had a lock symbol next to their name. Rosco quickly informed me.

"The lock means the contract is a closed protection contract. It means even if someone wanted to go after them; they couldn't without the permission of the network itself and that costs a lot of money or some very solid evidence that earned one of these guys a swift death. And it's a fact Sam that if the lock was removed from your father for instance, there would be hundreds, if not thousands of contractors marching down here to get their chance at him."

"How much is he worth?" I asked him as he clicked on my dad's contract. I wasn't ready for the price, nor all the information that came with it about why. In disbelief I said to myself.

"Nearly a quarter of a billion dollars?"

Rosco quickly chuckled and replied as I read up on my dad.

"He went up in price ever since he became the first president of the middle east. Price goes up every year and not to mention his service record."

People on here referred to my father as the "gray death". It sounded like a joke to me but when I saw his service record Rosco mentioned; I lost all thought that my father was nothing of the sort.

"He's done a lot of crazy shit Sam. Your dad isn't a guy to piss of or take lightly. He's one of the best soldiers to ever grace the planet and he's changed the world more than any other person besides Hecan Moore. G.U.N's best acting president who pushed peace more than any man before his term."

I saw things in this profile that I knew and others that I didn't. I had no idea how many people my father killed. No idea. He apparently held the M.E.A.F's combat records for physical training. No one to this day has beaten him. Apart from that though his record got dark. Part of his contract started because he had committed war crimes against G.U.N before I was even born. One of which was him apparently killing a G.U.N dignitary named Rolland Hoss.

Now I knew a lot about my dad's past. He told me some things. I heard others from my mother and my uncles, but some of these things I never heard. I was so caught off guard I had nothing more to say, but after a moment or two I asked.

"Is my mother on here? Am I?"

Shaking his head Rosco replied.

"As far as I know your mother doesn't have a record. I don't think you do either, but let's see."

I let him take over and waited with a still heart as he typed in my name. Thankfully when he hit enter nothing came up. Nodding his head he went on to tell me.

"Guess your good."

I just sat back as he shut the laptop shortly after to state.

"The point of this all Sam is to help you understand what kind of world we live in and why I need to go sooner rather than later. I don't have the money to blacklist my name from the site, so I don't have any other choice but to go where they can't touch me. As soon as I don't show up they'll put the pieces together. I'm sure you'll be okay because why would they look at you of all people?"

He was right but regardless I had a bad feeling in my gut. Uncle Char almost found all that shit just by accident and I know how serious this would turn out to be if I got caught with all of the M.E.A.F's viper venom. My mind was racing and with it I felt my venom kick in for some reason. Rosco saw my eyes change color and leaned back with a sense of concern, but what was weird was that I wasn't mad or anything. This just happened and for some reason my mind was calming down and I could think clearly again.

"Sam? You good?" Rosco asked me with a sense of concern.

Looking back at him I replied.

"I'm good. Just thinking."

"About?" He then wondered as I thought about my options now that I was going over every step and outcome one at a time and at a pace that broke records. When I made up my mind, I asked him with all sense of urgency.

"When are you leaving?"

Rosco took a second to think about that but after replied.

"I'd aim to get out of here tonight, but I'd still need some time to pack and get some things together. Latest would be in the morning. Whenever the first flight is open."

Without even questioning myself, I then wondered.

"Could I come with you?"

Now the tiger's face went pale. Two really wide orbs stared at me, so pushing the subject further I said to him as my reason for asking.

"I can't stay where I am. Not with all the gear sitting where it is right now. If you just leave and they pin the robbery on you; they'll track down where you've been and there are hundreds of cameras in the city. They'll know I'm part of this at some point and see the trade off we made. My uncle Char was with me last night and he almost found the shit under my bed. When he suspects that gear could be what he almost stumbled on; he'll come back to see what I was hiding for real. I can't afford jail time. Even with my dad's history and the pull he might have with the courts. I have things I want to do with my life and if the only place I'll be safe is in the states then I'll have to make a move sooner or later."

Rosco was now very serious and said back to me bluntly.

"Sam? You're eighteen. You barely know what it's like to be on your own, let alone be crazy enough to leave the middle east."

"I wouldn't be alone. I'd have you. Right?" I asked him to be sure of his intentions. Now the tiger just began to giggle to himself. After which he said to me.

"You know it was a fantasy of mine to sleep with you. It was never a fantasy of mine to run away with you."

"Fuck your fantasies Rocso. This is about my life and me not wanting to get into trouble with the military. I have ideas for what I want to do, but none of it will be possible if I get caught now sitting on thousands of dollars of stolen military hardware."

Now the man looked away from me and back at his laptop. He was clearly thinking this over now as I pushed him mentally. Knowing I could break him, I went on to say to him.

"I have some money put away just in case something like this happened. Originally I planned to use it to fund myself if I decided to leave the country to pursue my scholarship. But it can go to handling this. It's more or less the same thing and I know I can always make more money. I just need someone to have my back and you're smart. Capable."

Looking back up at me now the Bengal listened as I went on to state.

"We can figure this out together. I'm not asking for you to be my boyfriend or anything. You can do whatever you want. I'm just begging you to let me tag along."

"You run from this Sam and there is a good chance you will be targeted. Coming back probably won't be an option in your future."

"I don't need options. I know what I'm capable of and given the chance I'll make this work. For both of us. My parents are done running my life. I need to make my own moves and decide my own fate. I'm done hiding in a shadow." I informed him as he quickly went on to ask me.

"Do you know anything about self defense Sam? Because like I just said to you there is a good chance you'll be targeted once you leave the country. At least if Zandro can pin part of this on you. The second your name gets put up on that website you'll be hunted down. There isn't any reason for them to lock your contract. Not even with your dad being who he is. It'll be a fair game."

"Then show me how to defend myself. I can handle it. I just need a teacher. My venom will supplement the rest."

Rosco was starting to see reason the more I spoke and thankfully towards the end he broke and replied.

"I guess it'll have to. Fine. When can you be ready to go?"

No smile came to me for his acceptance. I knew how serious this was so I gave him back my instant assumption for when I could be packed and ready to leave the middle east.

"In the morning. I'll need some time to collect my things. Money included. And my father has my scholarship locked up at the house. I'd need to try and grab that before going if I'd want a chance at schooling while we're overseas. Or at the very least I might be able to sell it. Either way I'd like to get my hands on it."

"Do you even know the combo for the safe?" Rosco proceeded to ask. Nodding my head I replied.

"Yeah I know. Don't worry about that."

"And if you get caught?" He then wondered as I gave the question some time to marinate before responding.

"I won't. I'd be doing this early. Both him and my mother sleep till about ten on the weekends."

"Are you sure?" Rosco asked me again as I nodded for the final time before replying.

"Absolutely."

The Bengal and I now just sat here together. He was clearly still concerned about the plan, but what other options did we have? I'd have to take my chances. Worst case scenario is my dad or mom catches me doing this. I could always bullshit a story if that happened, but if I waited any longer it wouldn't be possible. With Mocha sensing that change was coming, I reached over to put my hand on Rosco's back. Our eyes locked and after a few seconds he just nodded his head and gave me a small smile.

Raptor's POV, Later that next morning.

Waking up did nothing for my mood. I was just reminded of how shitty of a father I was. My daughter was again not in my life for another day and I'd head downstairs to find her and Mocha both not waiting on breakfast like they typically would be on a day like this.

"What the hell came over me back then?" I had to ask myself as I got out of bed.

Zeta was already downstairs it seemed; making bacon or something that filled the house. By the time I got down there I wanted to go down to the basement just to relax and wake myself up at a pace that resembled my attitude. Slow and careless. Zeta and I still weren't really talking or I guess I wasn't really talking to her. I know what I did to our daughter. I don't deserve forgiveness for it. It should have never happened.

The woman herself saw me open the door heading down into the basement and before I could slip away without saying a word; she said to me from the table.

"Good morning."

"Morning." I replied as I went down the first step.

By the time I reached the bottom my attention went to the memories I had painting the room. My legs carried me to the bar but as my eyes came to cross by my safe, I had stopped in my tracks to widen my eyes at what I saw. Almost breathless I questioned myself as I saw the safe was wide open.

"What the fuck?"

Now I ran over to see for myself. As I got down I saw that almost everything I had in that safe was still there. Even Shadow's gun and my knife were still present which was easily worth a million dollars on their own.

I started to skim through the rest to make sure I wasn't missing anything, but towards the middle of my search I noticed Sam's scholarship and paperwork was missing. That's when I widened my eyes and said to myself in disbelief.

"Sam? What…?"

Now angry, I ran my way back upstairs to find Zeta focused on drinking a cup of coffee. Her eyes widened as she saw my intimidating look shift on her. With my voice clearly angry as well I asked her.

"When did you get up?"

Slowly lowering the mug she was using, she replied in confusion.

"About an hour ago. Why? Is something wrong?"

Nodding my head I replied.

"Sam's scholarship is missing."

Now stumped she questioned.

"Wait what? I thought that was locked up in the safe downstairs."

Getting aggressive I replied.

"It was, but now it's gone. Someone snatched it."

"But why would they just take the scholarship when you have so many other….?" Zeta's eyes went so wide when she realized what might have happened. Shaking her head slowly she tried to tell me.

"There isn't any way she got into the house. The doors were all locked when we went to bed."

"She knows where I hide the spare key."

"But she's never known the combination to the safe. How could she have figured it out? Did you tell her?"

Shaking my head back I replied.

"The shit I have in that safe is important. Important enough that I didn't want her seeing any of it. I've never told her the code. She must have figured it out on her own."

"What's the code?" Zeta then asked me as I growled back in disgust.

"What does it matter?"

Zeta just seemed utterly confused by this. With my temper rising, I ordered her.

"Get the car warmed up. We're going to Teddy's house right now and figuring out what the hell is going on. The balls on her."

"Don't jump to conclusions Raptor. We don't even know if it was her that did this."

"Fuck you!" I replied aggressively which got her to back down slightly as I got in her face to yell.

"Anyone in their right mind would have robbed me for everything I had tucked away! I have thousands of dollars in cash in there! Shadow's gun is still there! All my paperwork involving my affiliation with the network is in there! No one would have just taken the scholarship! Not a single fucking person!"

Zeta knew I was right so she backed down as I growled again and ordered her.

"Get the keys. We're going over there right now."

"Okay." She replied as I ran my way back downstairs to slam the safe shut, but not before grabbing Shadow's gun and tucking it in the front of my pants.

Once back upstairs, I found Zeta by the car just starting the engine. I kicked her out of the way because I planned to drive this time around. Once she was in the passenger seat, I got us onto the road and on our way to Teddy's house where I knew she was staying.

Zeta's POV.

Raptor was losing his mind again. He had every right to be upset, but he was going to start trouble that didn't need to happen. Not in front of Teddy and his family. If Sam just wanted the scholarship all she had to do was ask and I would have given it to her, but I still find it hard to believe that she would do this. She wouldn't just go from being a scared child to robbing her own family without a reason.

Once we got to Teddy's house, Raptor pulled up the car and got out to charge the door. As he went to bang on it, I shouted at him as I got myself out from the passenger side.

"Raptor! Raptor, calm down!"

"Teddy! Teddy! Open this door!"

By the time I reached his side to grab his arm; the door opened and behind it stood Teddy's dad who was more than confused with what was happening. Raptor thankfully had enough sense to lower his voice, but regardless still asked the much larger man in anger.

"Where is my daughter?"

"Calm yourself Raptor." I urged him as he again asked Philip.

"Where is she?!"

I knew this could get really bad and gave Phil a look that begged him not to push my clearly enraged companion. He thankfully read my face and despite his opinion of Raptor replied.

"She went out an hour ago. I don't know where. I think the bank, but she's not here and if you're done yelling at me on my own doorstep I'd appreciate it if you left before things escalate."

I pulled Raptor back but he wouldn't budge. Looking the bear right in the eyes he questioned.

"Escalate? That girl just got done robbing me of her scholarship. If you're worried about things escalating I think you're a little behind on the times pal."

Again I yanked him back but this time growled at him as I did.

"Raptor! Shut your mouth!"

Phil came a step out of the house now to add on to my order.

"I'd listen to her. You aren't welcomed here. My family doesn't believe in helping out a man who decides the best way to get his point across is by hitting they're only child. And ahhh….pal, was it? She can't rob something that rightfully belongs to her in the first place."

I knew Raptor was bound to snap and thankfully my eyes were fast enough to catch that he had Shadow's M1911 tucked away under his shirt. When his hands all the sudden went for it; I threw myself in front of him to grab his hand with all I had and barked into his face as he was dead set on shooting Phil who had no idea the gun was even there.

"No! Raptor! Stop! Right now!"

Raptor's hand was locked thanks to me and his eyes came to stare back into mine. He was so mad his skin was visibly getting hot. Once he had looked back at Phil who stood behind me, I listened as Raptor told him bluntly.

"What I did was wrong. I know that now, but that girl is my life. She's all I got."

"Then maybe you should act like it." Phil responded with as I again begged Raptor who struggled to not lose it further.

"Let's go to the bank. We can ask around and find her. She can't have gone far. Come on…..please." I begged him now.

Letting his hands rest, I let him go and began to gently move him back to the car. Once he was there; I shouted back at Phil who watched our every move from the safety of his home.

"I'm so sorry Phil! I'll call you later and apologize for our actions! Please, if you see Sam before us tell her to call me!"

"I will!" He replied as I pushed my idiot boyfriend into the passenger seat.

Now I made myself drive and once back onto the road I asked him with another growl.

"What the fuck were you thinking bringing that thing with you? Do you have any idea what could happen to us if you shot him just then? Do you!?"

Raptor knew better than anyone what would happen if he was to shoot someone that didn't deserve it. After all the man himself changed the laws to discourage senseless slaughter. He'd be a hypocrite if he let his feelings go beyond that point. Keeping his mouth shut, I again told him.

"We'll ask the tellers if they know where she went. Just do me a favor while I get us there and please calm down. I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason for this. And I know you don't want to hear it, but Phil is right. That scholarship belongs to her. Don't lose your shit. She's your daughter and you know if you were in her spot you'd do the same fucking thing."

"When I was her age I killed my father Zeta." He reminded me of yet again. Knowing how to work with him, I then proceeded to ask.

"What's to say she doesn't want to kill you for holding her back like you have?"

Raptor lost his angry face and just grew depressed as I went on to say.

"I don't agree with you. You know that. If she wants to go somewhere with her life; we'll need to let her go at some point. Yes the venom is a problem, but she's our daughter and I have more faith than you do in her ability to control herself. She's smart and very adaptable. She'll overcome it or find her own way to control her emotions that doesn't involve those fucking pills you forced down her throat."

Now Raptor had his head down completely as I finished up by asking him with a sense of humor at last raising up from my worried heart.

"You can't deny her ability one bit. You're a demigod and she somehow managed to sneak into the house and crack your safe without either of us knowing? Come on now Raptor. That's our girl right there."

He wasn't having my humor. I knew why but I still wanted him to not go crazy when we reached the bank. Thankfully by the time we got there he said to me.

"I just don't want her feeling like she has to avoid us to do what she wants with her life. You know how much I love her."

"I do hun, but your a fucking asshole."

Now he broke a smile. Shutting off the car, I opened my door and urged him with one hand to his.

"Now come on. Let's go find our baby girl."

The hedgehog gave me a gentle nod of his head and with that we got out of the car and entered the bank to find a few of the tellers hanging out around the front desk. One of which was a friend of the family by the name of Mark. An older purple mouse with red eyes who instantly saw both Raptor and I the second we walked in. Waving at him on our approach, I listened as he asked in confusion.

"Mr. Voltz? Mrs. Diskov? I wasn't expecting to see you two here together today. You just missed Samantha."

Both Raptor and I grew intense a little and both of us asked at the same time.

"Where is she?"

Mark was caught off guard and questioned.

"You mean you don't know? I figured you were both aware when she came to close her account."

Raptor took over the conversation by stepping up to the mouse and asking.

"What do you mean she closed her account?"

Keeping calm Mark replied.

"Yeah she was just here withdrawing her funds. Said she was going overseas to pursue schooling thanks to the scholarship G.U.N gave her and needed everything to go. She had a ticket and everything."

My heart dropped in shock. Raptor was also clearly shattering into pieces as Mark again asked us.

"You really had no idea she was leaving?"

"No!" I shouted as he quickly informed us both.

"Well she said her flight was leaving on the hour. If you're quick you should be able to catch her before it takes off. Why wouldn't she tell you she was leaving?"

Raptor ignored Mark's question and turned around to run for the exit.

"Raptor!" I screamed as I ran with him back to the car. This time he drove and he didn't wait for me to buckle up. He just took off towards the airport. I couldn't help but start to cry as I saw the hour Mark mentioned was just about to reach us. We had less than ten minutes and knowing how the airport worked there wouldn't be any delays.

I wanted to say something to Raptor, but we were both so panicked neither of us could form the words we wanted to scream out to the world. In the end, all I could do was beg him as he was going well over double the speed limit.

"Hurry Raptor, please!"

Even at the speed we were going we made it to the airport late and by the time we had entered the terminal; we saw on the board above the main ticket desk that all the flights leaving the middle east had been launched. There were only two heading to the states and both of which were gone. Raptor and I were out of breath and at this moment I was heart broken. I fell down to the ground in tears as Raptor got out his phone to call who I could only assume to be Sam. She didn't answer and after trying again he yelled out in anger.

"Fuck!"

His attention then came to me and with his personality coming back, he picked me up off the ground and whispered into my ears as we started to walk back outside.

"I'll figure out what happened to her. I promise you I'll get her back."

"This is your fucking fault!" I screamed at him as I pushed him as hard as I could. My venom came through like a truck and I actually managed to push him so hard that he fell off his feet and landed right down on his ass. Getting right in front of him, I yelled out with snarls of tears leaving my eyes.

"You should have never laid a hand on her! You don't fucking beat your kids! Now look at what's happened! She's gone! She ran away because of you! You fucking….! Aghhhh!" Kicking Raptor right in the front of his legs, I stumbled back and cried out.

"This is your fault! My daughter ran away because you gave her no other option! You're…..I fucking can't even right now Raptor! You fucking asshole!"

"Zeta I…?" I came back to kick him again but this time security from the airport got involved and restrained me. A couple of guys got Raptor back onto his feet and when he tried to get close to me; I sent my claws at him with so much force, I sliced the right side of his face open.

"Stop! Hold her!" One of the men ordered as I was now being carried off.

"This is your fault!" I screamed again as all my anger turned into more tears.

Raptor's POV.

Zeta stormed off with the security all the way back to the car. I remained where I was with blood dripping off the bottom of my chin and watched as she took the car and left, leaving me with the rest of the airport security who were caught completely off guard by what just happened. One of which came right on over with a white towel, urging me with open arms.

"Mr. Voltz, please! Take this now!"

I covered up my face. There were plenty of people taking photos of the situation and without any say I was urged by the guards.

"Come inside the airport sir! We shouldn't stay outside with all these people! We have medical staff that can treat those cuts!"

Shaking my head I replied.

"No! I'm fine! I'm just gonna head home!"

"We can find you a driver sir!" The same guard told me as I was already trying to get away. Breaking away from security, I kept the towel on my face and just didn't say another word as I stormed through the crowds of onlookers and proceeded to head to the capital. I knew my way there from anywhere; it was just going to be a long walk.

On my way there, I took back out my phone and called Pepper. She answered on the second ring.

"Hey Raptor. How are…?"

"Pep I need your help." I said cutting her off. Almost instantly she took me seriously and wondered.

"Why? What happened?"

Not wasting time I replied.

"Sam just left the country on a flight to the states. She emptied her personal savings and managed to sneak into the house last night to get her scholarship paperwork out from my personal safe."

"What?!" Pepper questioned in disbelief as I felt more blood slipping past the fabric of this stupid towel. Tossing the thing away into a public trash can, I put my left hand over the wound and sealed myself up. As I did, I told Pep.

"She didn't tell anyone. Not me. Not her mother. Not even the people she was staying with. She just left. Zeta and I couldn't catch up with her before her plane departed."

"Oh my god. Where's my sister?"

"I don't know. She's fucking had it with me. She took the car and left. I'm on my way to the capital to talk to Char. I need you to talk to her. I just lost my daughter because of my actions. I can't lose her."

"What about Sam? Raptor, she's just a kid." Pepper informed me as I put my hand down to reply.

"I know Pep. I don't know what to do right now about it. She won't answer her phone. I just need you to help me with Zeta. Please? I'm begging you. I'm gonna find out where Sam went and try to get a hold of her. She doesn't think I care about her at all. She thinks I hate her and I know she hates me, but I can't fucking lose her! Not again! I can't lose another kid!"

Now I started to break into tears. Enough so that I actually stopped walking to focus on my breathing. Pepper understood and heard my emotion and begged me as sweetly as she could.

"Okay. Just try to relax. I'm gonna get in touch with Cody and we're gonna come down to see you. I'll get in touch with Zeta as well, but I need you to stay together for me."

"I know!" I cried as I couldn't comprehend the reality that I pushed Sam this far away.

"I'll call you when we're on the way."

"Okay." I mumbled as I hung up and tried to collect myself.

For a moment I looked down at my gun and for the first time in years I had that urge again. I quickly put it to rest and got back on track to the capital though. I had to be strong. This was all my fault, but I had to believe this was still fixable. I can't lose Sam. I just can't.

mT Shadow.