JOSH; MINES; 22:41
FIFTEEN HOURS SINCE INCIDENT
Hey, it's me again. Thought I neglected you, huh? Sorry about blaming you earlier; that wasn't nice of me. I just freaked out. You should expect a lot of that from me, to be honest. I don't really know what else to warn you. So many things had been happening around me that I lost track of my self-awareness. Isn't that what we're supposed to be taking real care of? Well, I'm fucked.
"Josh..."
At least, I have someone with me right now who isn't a rotting corpse keen on making me feel like shit. If I was alone, I'd already be—Well, I don't want my thoughts to travel down that path again. Or you could say, I don't want them getting any more ideas.
"So useless..."
"I'm hungry," Jess whispers, breaking my thoughts as well as the voices of my imagination.
"Guess we have to eat each other," I automatically blurt out in my deadpan voice.
"Disgusting, Josh," she replies, pushing my shoulder harshly with a hand. She isn't fooling me. I can see a small smile.
"I'm not talking about that kind of eating," I reply suggestively, making sure to wiggle my eyebrows at her.
"Are you flirting with me, Joshua Washington?" she replies bemusedly.
"So, what if I am?"
"Should I tell Sam?"
My smile drops immediately. I see hers drop, too, so I immediately slap a smile on my face and I chuckle, "Hey, I'm just trying to lighten up the mood here. This place isn't exactly a good venue for a stand-up comedian."
"Right... but seriously, Josh. I haven't eaten in twenty-four hours already. You?"
"Same thing. I'm trying not to think about it," I lie.
Because food isn't exactly on my mind right now. I'm too busy trying to act normal when fucked-up crap is happening all around me. You know what? My dad should be rewarding me with the best actor award. I've been acting my whole life as if I'm normal when really, everything about my life is everything but normal.
"I wish I could do the same," she whispers.
"Do what the same?" I ask because my stupid brain got me off track from the conversation.
"Not think about it... Food,I mean. I want to just do something, you know? Something to take my mind off of things—particularly food."
"Why don't you try exercising? There's plenty of space around here," I joke.
"My body isn't exactly fit for exercising right now, Josh. Don't be ridiculous," she replies, rolling her eyes with a smile.
"Hey, you asked for my opinion."
"Technically, I didn't."
We laugh. As mine dies down, hers finished off with a heavy cough that even I, a student who lacks medical education, know that that is not exactly good for her right now.
I can feel her shiver—not just from the cold, but from how weak and fragile her body is.
I'm glad I'm not the one who did this to her, but at the same time, I cannot believe Jess went through something as horrible as whatever-it-is that happened to her. I don't care that she was the mastermind of the prank on my sisters. No one deserves this kind of shit.
"Liar. You seriously think she deserves this."
"No, I don't!" I defend myself from Fake-Beth.
"Josh?"
I turn to look at Jess who is still clinging on to my arm and shoulders to warm herself from the cold. She gives me a concerned look in return—something I've been seeing her give me since we've been reacquainted.
"Huh?" I ask as my ever eloquent self.
"Are you talking to... them again?"
Fuck.
"I said that out loud, didn't I?" She nods. "Fuck, I've been trying hard not to do that for the past hour."
"It's—It's okay. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It scares the shit out of me. Not of you. For you. But it's okay; you don't have to fake it or pretend that everything's normal around here. After the night we went through, I think this is by far the most normal thing I've ever witnessed," she assures me.
I shake my head. "I grew up learning to hide what I know. I'm not gonna stop now."
"It'll save you from further torment, though."
"Being open about it is enough torment for me."
"Okay."
She sighs sadly—something she's been doing the past hour as well—curling up beside me before her body shivers once more.
I've done research for my father when he's doing some of his movies. Yes, my father is a Hollywood mogul and he's done a lot of horror movies but he's done some thrillers and dramas here and there, too. Seeing Jess's shallow breaths, slow movements, mumbled speech, and shivering—I know enough that this is the early signs of hypothermia.
Jess is dying.
"And it's all your fault..."
No, this is not my fault.
"You brought them here, remember? You're the reason everyone is suffering this way."
Fuck. Hannah's right. I mean, Fake-Hannah is right. I brought them up the mountain. This is all my fault.
So now, I have to undo it. I have to save Jess. And there's only one way I can do it.
"Jess, I think it's better if we leave the mines."
"What?! Are you serious?!"
"You were right before... Your body... It isn't fit for our current situation. Didn't you say you wanted to do something? This is it. This could be your good opportunity."
"I know I said what I said, but that doesn't mean I want to move around with those—those things around."
"Things?"
"The monsters, Josh! I don't want to walk around looking like a tasty treat for them to feast on."
"Come on. I haven't heard a single shriek coming from outside the mines."
Because the shrieks I've been hearing are different. They're like telepathic, in a sense. I don't hear them outside my ears but I could hear them in my head. Like someone is broadcasting a shrieking radio channel inside my head. And I wasn't lying. I haven't heard a single external shriek for hours.
"They could still be out there," Jess says, hooking me back to reality.
"I can't just let you freeze to death here, Jess!"
"I won't. I'm not freezing to death. It's just... It's just a little cold."
"Oh yeah? Well, your body says otherwise, Jess. That's some bullshit coming from you."
"Urgh! Fine! Fine! Fine! You're right, okay? I hate this. I hate it here. My body is burning from the cold if that makes any sense. I'm losing my mind here, Josh. If I stay here for another hour, I'll end up like..." she stops.
I give her a knowing look. "...Like me?" I ask, already knowing that's what she was aiming for.
"I didn't say that," she replies apologetically.
"But you meant to," I point out.
"Josh..."
I shake my head. "No, no, no, no, no, I get it. I wouldn't want anyone to end up like me either, but that's beside the point. We are leaving the mines, and that's final."
"You can't just tell me what to do. Do you even know who you're talking to?"
"Yes, I'm talking to you. You—the freezing ice queen who is bent on staying in a place that could be her earliest grave."
"If you go, I'll stay here. I don't want to die."
"You'll die either way," I point out. "Wouldn't you rather want to fight for your life? Where's the Jessica Riley that I know and love?"
"She died when those monsters tortured her."
"Jess..."
"I mean it, Josh. I don't want to leave. You'll have to go out on your own."
"I don't want to go alone. I don't want to be stuck alone with them," I blurt out.
"Them?" she asks confusedly.
I close my eyes in defeat, touching my forehead with my forefinger. "Them."
"Pathetic."
"You know we're the only ones who has always had your back, Josh... We are always here for you, always."
"Not like how you were with us. Where were you when we needed you the most?"
"Argh! Stop it!" I bellow because they started chanting about just how useless and pathetic I am to bring them to their deaths. I mean, how I brought my sisters to death.
The ones with me aren't real. They're not real. They're not real. They're not real. They are ill. Close the deal. Subway seal. FUCK. It's happening again. My brain is fucking messed up, man. I'm sorry.
"Josh?"
"What do you want from me?" I yell at the standing corpses.
"No, Josh. That was me," I hear to my left. It's Jess. Jessica. Jess Riley. Miley. Isn't she a singer? Miley Cyrus?
"Oh, I'm sorry," I whisper.
"N-no, it's—it's okay."
"You're stuttering. That means it's not okay."
"It's okay."
"Now, you're just repeating yourself." I smile. Jess laughs. Good.
"We know you hate it."
God, when will I ever be free from them?
"Josh, what are they telling you? Your... your sisters. What are they telling you right now?" Jess asks me tentatively.
I sigh. "You don't wanna know."
"No, I do. I do want to know. Get my mind off things, remember? This is for my benefit. Not yours."
I can see right through her. She's trying to act arrogant and care-free when really, she's concerned about me. I can see it in those big grey eyes of hers.
I let out a chuckle because of her antics but I give in.
"Pathetic."
"Well, they just said the word 'pathetic' to me."
"You're not pathetic, Josh."
"Once again, I tell you: the voices in my head say otherwise."
"You're crazy. You're out of my mind. Bat shit crazy."
Sometimes I get caught off-guard when Fake-Beth swears at me. It reminds me of the real Beth, the one unafraid to tell me to fuck off when I'm annoying her. God, I miss my sister.
"What else are they saying?"
"Why do you assume that they're saying something?" I ask her.
"I don't know—there's something in your eyes. It glazes over or something. Like you're staring at someone here even though there's no one right in front of us."
"Why do you think there's no one right in front of us?" I accidentally blurt out. "Fuck, ignore that."
"Josh..."
"I'm delusional. Just forget it."
"Pathetic."
"Stop telling me I'm pathetic!" I yell at Fake-Hannah.
"Josh?" Jess asks me. I look at her in question. "After the night we went through, at first, I actually thought you were seeing the ghosts of Hannah and Beth... Like, if there are those monsters roaming around... Then what if there are other spirits roaming around, too? Maybe this mountain is special—magical—haunted. I don't know."
"No, I know these—" I gesture at Fake-Hannah and Fake-Beth who are glaring at me from the corners of the Monster's Lair—"aren't real, nor are they the ghosts of my sisters."
"H-how are you sure?"
"Hannah and Beth would never say half the things they tell me."
"Like?"
"You know what we're saying is the truth, Josh. We are your real sisters. And you are the freak of nature. Not us. You left us all alone in the mountain. You left us a die. You couldn't—"
"'—lift a goddamn finger to help us. You were passed out drunk because you're worthless.' That's the kind of thing they say."
There's that look on her face again. I know I've struck a nerve.
"Fuck, Josh..."
I look away. "You wanted to know what they tell me."
"And they say this to you all the time?" Jess asks.
"All alone. We are your last allies."
"Yes. They never stop."
"Beth and Hannah..."
"They're not... They're not as pretty as I earlier mentioned," I finally disclose.
"What do you mean?" she questions.
"Before... A month after their disappearance, they looked exactly as—"
"Stop!"
"—they did when I last saw them. Beautiful. Perfect. But now?"
"You're just asking for sympathy at this point. You're not really a sad man. You just want her to think you are."
"They're... corpses, brought to life by my own vivid imagination. I can see Hannah's skull, Beth's insides, their blood oozing out of them. What do you see when we're in this lair?"
She blinks a few times at the question. "I—I don't know. Stones? Rocks? What do you want me to say? Snow?"
"You know what I see?" I ask and she tilts her head in question. "I see blood and gore. You know what I hate the most? Blood and gore. Of course, that's what my stupid brain will show me. To make me live in my nightmare."
"Great. Now, you're just lying at this point. You don't think you're in a nightmare. You're just saying that to win some sympathy. This isn't real. You're just making things up. We're not even here. You made us. You want us here. You want us to suffer."
I put my hands on my head and try to dig deep into my skull because I'm fucking tired, and I'm fucking frustrated. What do I want? What am I really feeling? I don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know what's real anymore.
"Josh? What's happening? What's wrong?" Jess asks in concern.
"See? You like this. Like the attention. You're just acting like one of those characters in dad's dramas. Sad, pathetic, moronic, hands on their head, crying, begging for attention. You're not acting like you. You're just acting like them. To gain attention. Pathetic."
"Jess, I'm tired. Tired of them. But I don't know what to feel about them."
"Why?"
"For one thing, I get to see my sisters. I get to hear their voices again..."
"But?"
"But they're rotten—really rotten, especially the words—the things they tell me. I've heard you and Emily say some pretty nasty stuff to each other, but you have no idea what it is like to hear what my sisters are saying. They're planting thoughts in my head. They're... They're making it hard for me to distinguish what's real or not—even what I feel. I don't know what to feel."
"I'm sorry."
I tilt my head at her in question. "What? Jess? W-what are you sorry about?"
"I'm sorry that this has been happening to you, and none of us were even aware of it. Some friends we are."
"No, this is my fault. I let it get past me. I practically encouraged them to grow in my head. I even stopped taking my meds."
"What?! Why would you do that?"
"Have you ever tried taking anti-depressants? They may stop me from being sad but it doesn't stop me from being numb, from being bored, from feeling like I'm not me anymore. Plus, it wasn't even helping me get rid of these corpses in my head. So, what was the point of taking something that wasn't working—something that was making me feel worse."
"Maybe you were misdiagnosed."
I sigh. "Maybe."
"...Were they ever violent?"
"So far... Physically? No. Psychologically, fucking hell yes. I watched them peel their face off to reveal their skulls. That was just before Mike found me last night. If... If I did see Mike. Fuck, I don't know anymore. Hell, there's still the possibility that you aren't real and I'm just sitting in this stupid lair alone all this time. Maybe, I did kill you and you're coming back to haunt me."
"You're a killer. You killed me, Beth, and Jess."
"A goddamn murderer is what you are."
"Josh, I'm real!"
"How can you reassure me, huh?"
"Well, are they any different now that I'm here?"
I take a step back at that. "Actually, yes. Now that you've mentioned it. They're still there. Everything is still there. But they lessened. They only lessen when I'm with someone. Their attacks become less frequent, although they are more frequent now than ever before. It wasn't like what happened last night. Last night was much much worse. So yeah, having someone lessens their abuse. So maybe you are real since they're acting in a way that they do when I'm with someone real."
"That's good."
"And that's why you can't leave me alone."
"...Josh?"
"We're leaving the mines."
"Josh! I already said no."
"You can't leave me and I can't leave you. I know we both know I'm right: that we have to leave."
"Josh, see reason—"
"No, you see reason! You're dying. Every minute, your body turns to ice. We still have some chances of survival when we leave the mines. Jess, we can't be found in this place. If... If I'm right... and that this is the place where Beth and Hannah died... Then we have as much chances at being found as they did. Do you want that? Do you want to die like fucking Jack Dawson from Titanic? I know you love that movie."
"Fine. Fine! You're right! Fuck, I know you're right. It's just... I'm scared."
"You're scared? I'm a bigger coward than you, remember?"
"Josh, you're no coward. You've been dealing with your problem on your own for who knows how long... You're living in your own personal hell but you don't bat an eye. That takes guts to keep a secret as big as that. No coward can ever withstand that long with that kind of problem."
"You are a coward, Josh..." I hear Chris say.
"I tried killing myself once. Doesn't that count as taking the easy way out? Doesn't that count as cowardice?" I blurt out in anger.
"Attention-seeker."
"Oh my God, Josh. When was this?"
I close my eyes. "You don't wanna know."
"Was that why you've been M.I.A. before the anniversary of their... you know?"
I don't answer.
"Jesus Christ, Josh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Stop... apologizing... Let's just get out of here, okay?"
"Okay."