Verity
I ran, my muscles screaming at me from the strain. I wheezed as I sucked in another breath, and the back of my throat burned, the heat of the midday summer air rushing into my lungs like a stream of fire.
I didn't have enough time left. I needed to be faster!
Grinding my teeth, I made my body move forward, each step resonating with exhaustion along my legs. Oluo screamed from behind me, also out of breath. I couldn't make out what he was saying exactly, but he sounded way too close for my liking. I jumped over some rocks and landed harshly on the ground, my legs shaking from keeping me upright, and lunged forward again.
I almost made it. Just a few more steps…
The whistle sounded, and I tripped, rolling on the ground, the rough rubble of the walkway scratching at my face and tearing at my training clothes. I skittered to a stop, sprawled on the ground face down, my body aching from head to toe. I couldn't move anymore. It felt as though I was dying.
My rattling breath made the dust fly up the pathway, clouding my vision for a second. Then, when the dusty cloud shifted from someone's movement, I could see a pair of soldiers' knee-high boots stop right in front of my face.
"Tsk, you didn't even make it to the finish line," Captain's arrogant voice would have made me cringe or stiffen if only I could find some strength to move my body. I didn't bother to reply. His attention shifted as Oluo burst through the brush and fell to his knees near me, his breathing as troubled as mine. "You are even worse," Captain stated and turned to face Petra and Gunther, standing at the starting line, ready to sprint through the course.
At Captain's command, they ran, muddy clouds settling in the air after them and hiding them from view.
"You… all right…." I gritted through my teeth, facing Oluo.
"Why? Wanna start another fight?" Oluo asked, his breath loud and whistling. Falling to the ground, he stretched on his back and closed his eyes. "I think I'm gonna puke," Oluo mumbled, and I felt a chuckle build in my throat. I didn't have enough strength to fight it, so it burst out. Oluo opened his eyes and stared at me incredulously. Still, in the next moment, the corners of his lips tugged up, and he looked away, trying to hide his smile. I got to my hands and knees, my body shaking from the laughter. Captain glanced at me as though I was trying to saddle a titan or something.
Nothing brings people together more than misery.
When the laughter died, I straightened and gratefully accepted the water bottle Eld offered me. Watering my mouth, I spit the liquid out, but the cold touch of it in instantly made me feel better. I wiped my forehead and stared at the road, where I could see Gunther and Petra racing each other in the distance.
"I'm sorry I hit you. Tell me what I can do to make it up to you," I said, avoiding looking at Oluo.
"That's it? You gotta try better than that."
"What do you want me to say?"
"How about a kiss to make it up to me, huh?" I couldn't hide the revulsion turning my stomach at the sheer thought of touching him. Touching anybody, really. Not with my hands, not with my lips. I looked away from Oluo, who grimaced, noticing my reaction. "Well, that settles it, I guess." He got up and offered me a hand, startling me. I took it, mercifully glad that I'd decided to keep my gloves on for the race. "Tea then. You gonna make me tea every time I ask."
"You sure you want that? I tried the tea she'd brewed before. Nearly threw up myself," Captain's voice sounded, and my head snapped in his direction, a deep scowl settling into my forehead. But all the poisonous words died on the tip of my tongue when I saw a slight curve in one corner of his lips. Shocked, I stared at him.
He looked… I couldn't find the right words to describe it. The slight twist of his mouth gradually transformed his face. I swear I could see his eyes twinkle with mischief for a brief moment. He looked younger and less troubled, as though it was normal for us to joke around and mock each other. My breath hitched in my throat, and my mouth went dry. I'd never seen him like this. But before I knew it, his face drew cold again, making me think I'd imagined the whole thing. But by the silence that followed, Oluo keeping his mouth shut as well, I could tell it had to have happened.
Captain smiled.
"Uhm, alright then. How about you buy me a couple of drinks once we get back to civilization?" Oluo said, attracting my attention again. I nodded, agreeing and glad that this feud of ours had officially come to an end.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. Next time I will just tell you to shut up." I offered, feeling lost and ungrounded.
"I doubt that would work," Eld teased.
"Oh, shut it, Eld. You don't wanna fight me. After all, I have more kills than you. You better remember that."
"Yeah, yeah," Eld rolled his eyes and focused on the gravel road, watching our teammates disappear into the adjacent forest. "But unlike you, I actually did make it through the course."
Oluo's growl could be heard for miles.
Shit was everywhere.
Literally.
I had to stifle a groan when I entered the stables that afternoon, looking around and trying not to choke. Brilliant. I'd never had to care for horses before. Any animal, for that matter. I guess there was a first one in everything. But, dear Walls, it smelled terrible.
Layers of hay lay scattered through the stalls, sticky and muddy, brownish. I didn't have to wonder why - I could tell it by the stench. Did anyone clean the stables in the two days we were here? I doubted it.
Sighing heavily, which I instantly regretted when my throat burned and my eyes watered, I picked up the rake and got to work. Shooing away curious horses, I moved to the first stall, shuffling the hay carpet into one corner. The wooden walls of the building looked rotten halfway through, black stains covering the upper parts near the roof from all the rains and snows in the past years. The dampness was palpable in the air, even though it was a sunny summer day outside.
Moving from stable to stable and shoving horse shit along with the dirtied hay into the garden cart, I finally reached the one stall I desperately wanted to ignore. Captain's stud snorted at my approach, moving its head from side to side as though telling me not to come closer. I would be glad to oblige, except I did feel that I deserved this punishment. Sometime after I'd punched Oluo, I realized how childish my behavior had truly been. Kenny would have been harsher with me if I'd pulled something like this in his presence. It was stupid of me to get so defensive of Hange when she was not a part of my family. She wasn't Kenny. I shouldn't have cared.
"It's okay, boy. Don't mind me. I will just clean up for you, okay?" I tried to sweet-talk the stallion. Another snort sounded, followed by a loud clank of its teeth. I jumped away from the stable, dropping the rake and holding my hands close to my chest.
"Let me try," a voice sounded, and I turned to watch Eren walk into the stables.
"Are you sure? By the looks of it, this guy must be feeding on human blood." I mumbled, eyeing the stud suspiciously. Eren smiled and stepped closer to the railing, making calming noises and talking in a sweet low tone. The stallion huffed, its nostrils flaring, but didn't jerk forward when Eren clicked the gate open and slowly stepped in. "Wow, you are really good at this," I said in awe as Eren got closer to the beast and started to pet its neck.
"They smell fear, you know," he said, running his hand through the horse's mane. The stud huffed again but didn't move away. "You want me to take him out for you to clean up in here?"
"Yes, please."
Eren nodded and picked up a bridle carelessly thrown over the railing. Then, mounting the horse, he pulled it forward, exiting the stall. I stepped back, avoiding the stallion altogether. Eren held the reins tight in his grip, talking smoothly and quietly to the horse while I did my best to clean its stable as fast as possible. When I was done, Eren moved the horseback, and the stable was finally shut closed, the animal being safely locked inside.
"Thank you," I breathed out, relieved that I got to keep all my fingers. Eren smiled at me again and nodded.
"Is this your punishment?"
"Yup. Apparently, this is not how we solve arguments on our squad," I said, doing my best to imitate Eld when he was chastising me.
"Figured," Eren's voice sounded sad suddenly.
"Are you okay?" I found myself asking, surprising myself. Did I care if he was troubled? It wasn't any of my business. But Kenny did ask to keep an eye on Eren. So, I guessed it couldn't hurt to try and be friendly with the guy.
"Yeah. It's just I still have trouble transforming," at his admission, I looked at his hands, heavily bandaged from all the bites and cuts he did to himself to turn titan.
My gaze followed my arms, where under the long-sleeved shirt I hid my own collection of scars. "You will get there eventually," I offered, self-consciously pulling at my sleeves, making sure none of the skin showed.
"That's what Hange said," he sighed.
"Well, she is yet to be proven wrong on anything," I said, only half annoyed at the truth in my statement. "Why are you doing this? Why did you join the scouts?"
"I want to kill them all. I want to destroy the titans." Eren's voice rang with heavy emotion, with dedication so foreign to me, yet my heartbeat sped up in response. Was this revenge, or did he want to save humanity? I would bet it was the former. Eren didn't strike me as someone honest to the bone. I felt an edge to him, something dark calling out to me, something that had also set root in me a long time ago.
"You were there when the Wall fell, right?" I asked, studying his reaction closely, wondering why Kenny was so interested in this boy beyond the obvious. Did he need a titan shifter for something? What was he trying to accomplish? Should I even have these questions when I'd promised to be loyal to no end?
"Yes. I will never forget it," Eren's voice turned low and deep. His brow creased, eyes glazed over for a moment as though memories pulled him under.
"And your friend? The girl who spoke on your behalf in court."
"Mikasa? Yes, she was with me that day," Eren answered, looking up at me and studying my face. "You two look alike. Where did you grow up?"
I flinched and looked away, my own memories daring to get closer, open the doors I'd shut, and wished never to open again. "Nowhere near Shiganshina."
"And your family?" Eren didn't seem to pick up on my distress, and I walked to the exit, opening the door wide and gesturing for him to follow.
"Gone."
He nodded, exiting after me into the courtyard. "Is this why you joined the scouts?"
"Something of that sort," I mumbled, focusing on Gunter and Eld, lunging on the stone porch steps, drinking something out of mugs. Pieces of their conversation reached us.
"Who could've done it?" Gunther asked, watching me and Eren stride toward them.
"Beats me. And right now, I'm more concerned with how many cadets are crazy enough to join the regiment with the highest casualties," Eld replied after taking a long swig from his cup.
"Hey, Eren, do you know if anyone in your class is considering joining us?" Gunther asked when we reached them.
"Year there a few. At least there were. I'm really not so sure now," Eren's voice trailed off toward the end, but we didn't get to pry more on it, as the opening front door made us straighten.
"Captain," Eld saluted as Captain exited the building and stepped down the porch.
"Make ready, people; we are going on patrol," he stated coolly, walking past us and not giving anyone a second glance.
"Yes, sir!" We recited, and Eren stepped closer to Captain, his hand never leaving the middle of his chest in salute.
"Good day, Captain! Reporting for duty!"
"Eren, you will stay within ten meters of me at all times. The only reason that you are out of your cell is because I'm keeping an eye on you. Understood?" As Eren yelled "Yes, sir!" back, Captain's gaze moved toward me, and my blood ran cold from his glare. "You too. I don't feel like dealing with any more people you punch."
I flashed bright red and swiftly nodded, annoyed yet embarrassed, as Captain walked away toward the stables, putting on his riding gloves.
"Let's ride."
"Are you sure this is edible?" Oluo asked as he swirled the contents of his bowl with a spoon. Soup-like substance hit the edges with an audible splash, and pieces of boiled carrots and chopped undercooked cabbage showed through the yellow-green mushy mass. The dish looked more like an ugly painting rather than food. I swirled the soup in my bowl as if trying to ensure there were no dead rats inside or whatnot. To be frank, it did smell tasty. Like an ordinary veggie-bean stew, the appearance didn't help any.
"You don't like, you don't eat!" Petra exclaimed, blushing. It was her kitchen duty day, and I could safely say that there were things she was better at rather than cooking.
"I think it's good," Gunther offered, taking a spoon with barely any contents into his mouth and chewing dramatically. Petra smiled graciously at him.
"See, Oluo. Not everyone is a spoiled brat around here," she chastised, taking a seat at the table and picking up her spoon. Scooping some of the stew, she sipped at it, and her eyes widened in surprise. Frowning at her bowl, she made an audible gulp, gripping her spoon tightly in her palm. "Damn it," she whispered, and Oluo chuckled, reaching out and clapping her on the shoulder.
"It's okay. I myself find death by a titan preferable to the one from the uncontrollable shitting, but…."
"Dear Walls, Oluo, shut up!" Petra moaned, slapping his hand away.
"What's this about," Captain's voice sounded, and my back strained when his footsteps approached the table from behind me. The chair's legs screeched at the stone floor as he pulled it out and took a sit beside me. I stiffened. No matter that his weighted presence gave me some sort of sick pleasure before, now It felt more like an adrenaline rush, like the first time Kenny made me use ODM, and I jumped off a cliff. It was painfully scary, and I could still vividly recall that blinding rush of terror. Same as every time Captain got close to me. It shifted from fear into confusing territory that I didn't know what to make of, preferring to avoid him altogether.
Captain glanced at the bowl set on a table for him, and silence followed. He sighed heavily and looked up at Petra, who was turning scarlet at that point.
"I did all I could with the ingredients we had. It's okay to eat, if not a little salty…." She rambled off, her voice drawing quieter and quieter.
"A little?" Oluo chuckled. "Now, don't be shy. It's plenty salty."
"Oluo," warned Eld, glowering at him from the other side of the table. But his glare was rendered ineffective by the smile he desperately tried to hide.
Captain reached over to the teapot and poured himself a drink. He rested one of his arms on the back of the chair and took a sip of his tea, holding the cup in that odd way of his. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he rested the cup back on the table and frowned at the bowl in front of him once more.
"Remind me to move some shifts around," he said, sounding restrained and somewhat bored. The gaze Petra threw at him was full of hurt, and I studied her expression for a moment, trying to recall how she usually acted around Captain. Could that be about more than just failing at the assigned duty?
Looking back at the bowl in front of me, I picked up my cutlery and forced a mouthful of the stew into my mouth, swallowing right away and stifling a cringe. It wasn't that bad; however, Oluo was right – it was plenty salty. Feeling someone's gaze on me, I looked up, noticing that everyone at the table was staring at me now. Rush instantly crept up my neck, and I immediately felt uncomfortable, as if on display.
"It's not that bad," I offered, focusing on the food.
Some clanks sounded as others started at their food when Oluo threw his hand up. "Wait! Let's hold off eating for a moment just in case Verity passes out from the shits."
"It would pose a problem if we all get the shits at the same time, huh? Just imaging the line to the bathroom," I remarked darkly, and the following silence made me glance up. Horrified expressions of everyone, safe Captain, met me. I frowned at them, confused if I said something wrong, when Oluo burst into laughter, followed by Gunther and Eld. Petra smiled kindly at me, and Eren was grinning wide, watching us all having the most un-dinner-like discussion.
"Holy Walls, this is the most miserable dinner ever," Petra mumbled, covering her face with her hands.
"Nah, come on. We've had worse," Eld objected, chewing at his food and swallowing a few gulps of tea right after.
"Yeah, right. Remember how drunk Oluo got after his first outing and threw up everywhere in the common room?" Gunther smirked, and I choked on the stew, coughing and turning to look and Oluo, who sat two seats to my right behind the Captain.
Captain's gaze locked on me instantly, and a shockwave traveled down my spine, settling at the bottom of my stomach in an unpleasant tug. He didn't look angry this time, no matter his usual scowl. But I knew him well enough at this point to tell that there was something else behind his gaze. Curiosity, perhaps? Distrust? Maybe, a mix of both?
My cheeks warmed instantly, and I turned back to my plate, busying myself with shoving the swimming carrots around. I could barely hear the continued discussion and Oluo's loud protests behind the roar in my ears.
"Come on! You can do it!" Gunther yelled as Petra ducked under Eren's swing and hit him in the center of his chest. Eren doubled over, his breaths coming out in loud uneven whisps.
"Sorry, Eren! Are you okay? I didn't hit you too hard, did I?" Petra rushed to his side, clasping his arm and helping him right himself. Eren shook his head, attempting to smile.
"No… I'm fine. Nice hit," Petra smiled brilliantly at him and stepped back, gesturing for the bucket of cold water to the side.
"Come on, let's get you a drink." They moved away, and Captain took place in the middle of the clearing, his eyes landing on me. He gestured to the floor, and I gulped, realizing that he had planned my hand-to-hand combat match to go against him.
Cursing under my breath, I moved forward, assembling my fighting stance and trying to calm my racing heart. It wasn't that big of a deal. Everyone on the team, safe for maybe Eren, knew that this was my biggest weakness. I could hold my own in running and ODM exercises, yet hand-to-hand…
Checking that my gloves were in place, I moved my feet on the ground, settling into a more comfortable position as the rubble screeched at the bottom of my boots. Captain looked at me impassively and fell into a fighting stance as well. Then, the match began at his command, and I moved to the side, circling him. He watched my movements for a moment before lunging forward, his fist swinging. I ducked at the last moment, and my braid flew up, scraping at his arm. Swinging my leg forward, I attempted to take his legs from under him, but he simply sidestepped me as though my attack was nothing but a small inconvenience.
My temper spiked, and I jumped forward, faking a kick and swirling to punch him in the side at the last moment. Captain turned, blocking my attack with his outstretched arm, and pushing me back.
I lost my balance and fell on my ass to the ground. Blood rushed to my face, and I brushed away the stray hairs that escaped my braid as I got up, shoving my irritation down. I knew I couldn't possibly win against him.
Did it stop me from trying, though?
Nope.
Lunging at him, I threw my left leg forward, trying to catch the back of his knee, when he surprised me, bending it and kicking me in the stomach instead. All the air left my lungs, and I fell to my knees, hugging my midsection with my arms. Pain exploded in my belly, and I fell forward onto my outstretched arm, desperately trying to force some air into my lungs.
"Get up," Captain commanded, but his voice barely registered. It sounded distant, as if underwater. "Or are you giving up, brat?"
Giving up?
As if there ever was an option for me to do so.
I sucked in a wheezing breath, cringing as my chest constricted and my abdominal muscles spasmed. But the pain gradually subsided, and I slowly forced myself up to my feet. Glaring at the Captain, I shifted forward, surprising him and myself at the speed my body produced. I turned right before him, and my shoulder connected with his chest. We stumbled to the ground, and I grabbed his arm, getting ready to twist it back in a hold that I knew was painful as fuck. Captain jerked to the side, and my grip slipped. He grabbed my wrist, restraining it in a painful grip, and when I struggled to get free, something tore, and I managed to stumble backward, rolling on the ground. Jumping back up to my hands and knees, I faced Captain again, who had already picked himself off the ground and looked at me strangely. His breathing was heavy, and I felt a sudden flash of enjoyment. Even if I wouldn't win this fight, at least I made him run for his money.
Getting up in one smooth movement, I watched as Captain fell into a fighting stance once more and moved to me cautiously. He was graceful in his deadliness. His muscles were sculpted with years of sinuous training, and his technique was perfected by dozens of missions. Getting ready to block his attack, I observed as he swung his fist at my head. Dodging, I sidestepped to my right, blocking him when he shot out with his leg. The ground suddenly shifted under my fit. He gripped my wrist, jerking me up and forcing me to turn, so I landed with my back to his front.
His hot breath grazed at my neck as he pressed his forearm to the upper part of my chest, just below the neck, securing me in place. Goosebumps covered my skin. His other hand didn't stray from my wrist, and a sudden wave of heat ran up my arm, making me shudder. His touch, so unexpectedly warm, browsed my skin. But the stinging pain of his powerful hold only added to the sickening pleasure cursing through my blood. My pulse quickened, and Captain's finger shifted, getting closer to the scars at the inner side of my wrist, its movement tickling in the worst rapture possible.
That's when it hit me.
He was touching my skin.
Terror broke through the moment-long daze, and my stomach dropped as I waited for overwhelming nausea to bite at my stomach and the usual pain of someone's touch to shoot through my body like a hit of a lightning bolt. I closed my eyes, and my breathing quickened. Panic settled in, and the red stains sparked behind my eyelids as I waited and waited for the pain to come. Each moment became more and more terrifying as nothing but heat continued to travel my body. I couldn't move, immobilized by the horror of the lingering ache that was there yet didn't step over the threshold to the forefront of my mind. A tremor rocked my body, and I felt Captain shift, his arm disappearing from my chest. Heartbeat drummed in my ears, and my chest constricted at the sudden overwhelming feeling of the ice-cold loss that pierced through my veins like poison.
Someone called out to me, but I couldn't distinguish their voice behind the intensifying roaring in my ears. Someone grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. My eyes flew open instantly, focusing on the Captain's eyes, the color of stormy skies. The image of a storm sparked in my mind, dark grey clouds closing in on the virgin-blue sky. The sun pierced through their light foggy edges, mixing the muddy grey color with the clear sapphire of the heavens.
I recoiled from his touch, cringing.
Seeing the troubled faces of my comrades made me instantly sick. I forced myself off the ground, where I'd apparently ended in my moment of misery, and I strolled past everyone, heading for the castle. Picking up my speed, soon I was running faster and faster with each passing second until my lungs burned from exhaustion and not the sobs that I wouldn't allow out. Not outside. Not without a fresh cut on my skin, which was still tingling from his trailing finger.
His touch didn't burn me as all the others did.
It branded me.