Verity
"Gate opens in thirty seconds!" The garrison commander yelled, seizing all talk among the ranks.
No matter the sunny day, I shivered, images of Harold's death playing in my mind on repeat. I could practically feel his warm blood coating my face as that titan chewed on him, splashing the buildings with crimson red.
"Almost there, kids. Try not to get killed," Oluo smirked at Eren, and Petra groaned, turning away from him. His arrogance was starting to play on everyone's nerves lately.
He was right, though. The time has come. We were getting ready to exit the safety of the Walls yet again. I couldn't tell what it was exactly, but I felt even more nervous about this mission than the first one. Something about it just didn't add up. All that recon bullshit they tried to shove down our throats sounded more and more hollow with each day of the practice runs. All the newbies thrown inside the ranks, the weirdly placed formation, and all those questions about who the enemy truly is… I could not tell what Commander Erwin was playing at, but I could smell a rat miles away from this mission. Which only made me jumpier.
The ominous creek of the chains laboring to lift the enormous wooden gate scratched painfully at my nerves. "Scouts, move out!" yelled Commander Erwin, sprinting through the entrance first, like a proper leader destined to lead humanity's quickly vanning armies.
A drop of cold sweat ran down the back of my neck, and I gripped the reins, kicking at the horse's sides and making it match the speed of my team. The wind picked up, whistling in my ears as we crossed the gates, entering the ruins of the surrounding villages and the open fields stretching far out of eye's reach.
We were positioned in the middle of the Commander's formation; however, it didn't bring any consolation to the worry roaring inside my chest harder with each passing minute. The formation dispersed, and the Captain led us forward as calmly and assured of his actions as ever. His back was straight, and his movements deliberate. He truly seemed unconcerned that we had just left the safety of the Walls. He looked as though he was taking another boresome stroll with some people whose company he didn't particularly enjoy yet found manageable.
That last thought infuriated me. And for a second there, I forgot about that spiky ball of unease in the bottom of my stomach.
"You think my friends have a shot at taking down a Titan?" Eren asked all of a sudden, bringing me out of my thoughts with his question.
I had barely opened my mouth to reply when Oluo beat me to it: "Really? I should certainly hope so; otherwise, what the hell have they been training for?" His indignant voice would have made me angry in the past had I not known him better. So instead of taking offense in Eren's stead, I chuckled, gaining a questioning look from Oluo. "Now listen and listen well. Prepared or not, you're all Scouts, which means the time is nigh to choke back those fears and…." He choked on his words and curled forward in his saddle, clenching a hand around his mouth.
"Not again!" Petra practically screamed, laughing so hard I was a little afraid she would fall out of her saddle. She was one of those people whose laughter was so infectious that once they found something funny, the whole room would follow suit. Her personality, no matter that I'd found it annoying at first, grew on me. In the past weeks, I couldn't stop but find myself more and more affectionate toward her, relaxing in her presence as though nothing could have hurt me when she was around. I also felt laughter build up in my chest, and when Petra glanced at me, I joined in, laughing my ass off. Hysterically so.
Captain glanced at us from behind his shoulder, scowling as though at misbehaving children. He turned away, clocking his tongue loudly. "Get your wits together. There are enemies around."
Our mid-rear position protected us from practically everything. I doubted any titan could have broken through so many ranks of scouts. At the same time, however, it gave us a nice look at all the formation signals: red and green dominating at first, stirring the majority of soldiers away from the groups of titans, but soon black followed suit. Here and there, it popped up among the clear blue skies like a mold in a fountain filled with crystal-like water. It poisoned the view, instilling fear into my heart and soul. At first, I tried to ignore it. I wasn't there with those flank squads. Fighting titans wasn't my problem right now. We all had our jobs to do. But soon, Harold popped up in my head yet again, and I couldn't shake the stomach-twisting shame that left a sour taste at the back of my mouth.
My fault. It was my fault.
"Smoke signals. Green. Oluo, pass it on," Captain ordered, regarding the colorful pillars in the skies when a new sound of approaching galloping horse made us all twist in our saddles.
"Reporting, sir!" A rider yelled, slowing his horse to match the speed of the Captain's. "An oral message! It appears the right-wing spotters have been wiped out! The early warning network is compromised! One of you will need to relay the message down the line."
All the blood drained from my face as I stared at the soldier's back. I must have misheard because the entire wing of the formation could not have been wiped out entirely. It was impossible. There must have been some mistake…
"You heard the man, Petra. Go on," Captain commanded, as undeterred as before.
I stared at him in disbelief. Was he genuinely incapable of any emotions?! These were not really my people, yet even I was shocked to silence by the news. But he took it in as though the messenger told him his teashop was out of his favorite tea.
Now that I think of it, perhaps that situation would actually make him show some emotion.
Turning my head, I looked at the horizon in the direction of the right wing. The black color was smeared all over the sky. I stared at it, chilled to the bones. The pillars of smoke protruded from the very far and ended just hundreds of meters away, the source of it hiding behind the rare trees, slurring in my vision because of the speed. It colored the approaching death. I could smell it in the air. The fear was mixed with a potent burning stench of gunpowder and signal chemicals. I breathed it in, choking on the way it burned my throat, coating my insides with the coal-like residue.
"An abnormal," Screamed Eren, pointing in the same direction I was looking at. The smoke plume stood tall and foreboding, its tail twisting in the air and disappearing into heaven, swirling in the wind. I was momentarily taken aback by it, fortified by the horrendous beauty, and mesmerized by the painfully chilly fear numbing my limbs like a fine drug.
"Verity," I could hear Captain calling for me, my name tastefully sharp on his tongue. But it took me a few moments to force my body to react. I tore my gaze from the smoke, meeting Captain's frown. He took a long look at me, his eyes skimming all over my face, and his frown deepened. "Fire the signal."
I swallowed hard and nodded, relieved when he faced forward and his scrutinizing gaze moved away from me. I reached for my holster, and the metal rims of the signal gun stung underneath my already chilled fingers. I switched the color to black, and the usually satisfying click of the gear only made me flinch this time. Pointing it to the skies, I pulled the trigger, closing my eyes against a bang that the device made.
Putting the gun back, I focused on the Captain's back. I could hear him murmuring something among the lines of "Lotta good the formation does if the bastards can bore into it that deeply."
Looking past his back, I saw the woods we were slowly approaching. Scouts riding ahead of our squad separated into three groups: only one going straight for the jagged-looking trope hiding deep within the mash of trees and bramble, and two riding off to the opposite sides, following the edge of the forest.
Captain stirred his horse straight for the path, following the lead of the first group that disappeared within mere minutes before. The shade of the trees brought some comfort. It coated us like a finely woven blanket, hiding from the titans' view. I doubted it would help us escape the approaching abnormal. Yet, the momentary relief of a cover made me release a breath I didn't know I held.
It only took minutes of sprinting through the woods before Eren yelled again: "Black smoke!"
"It's right behind us! Damn thing's been on our ass since we came in here," Oluo added, grimacing and tightening his hold on the reins.
"Blades drawn. Now." Captain's command was as calm as ever, yet my hands shook when I reached for my weapons.
This thing running after us seemed somehow smart. It beelined in our direction right from the beginning. As though it knew where we were and it wanted to reach us. It could have been a coincidence, of course. Yet, if it was, then I might as well buy a lottery ticket today. It must have been after Eren. But even so, none of the scouts managed to stop it from getting this far into the ranks. What the hell of a creature was after us?!
The answering undeniable footfall of the giant seized all my thoughts. I glanced back above my shoulder. A few zaps sounded, and at least three scouts flew by, twisting in the air with their backs to us, just moments before I saw it.
A female titan.
It waved its hands in the air as though trying to get rid of mosquitoes while it sped up, and the unnerving gaze of its blue eyes undeniably focused on our squad. I choked on my next breath, watching as she flung one of the scouts to the closest tree and crashed another one in its fist. Blood splashed sideways, like a small rain, as the motionless limbs of the soldier fell to the ground, stumbling on the branches.
"Holy shit!" Yelled Gunther, twisting to look forward from the ugly picture. "It's catchin' up! Captain! Engage the ODM gear?"
A moment of silence followed, in which we all stared with a single focus at the Captain's back.
"Captain?" Petra yelled, losing patience. "Your orders! It's dangerous! Let's take it out!"
"Tell us to engage, sir! I'll cut the bitch!" Oluo offered.
"Your orders, sir! Please!" Screamed Eren, his face contorted with pain and shock.
"Cover your ears," was all the Captain said before reaching his belt, taking out a signal gun, and firing the acoustic round into the tree crowns.
The air vibrated with a shrieking whistle, and my head instantly rang. Vision doubled for a moment, and I leaned forward, catching myself on the horse's neck, while the wave of nausea came and slowly passed.
"Remind me, what is our mission? Is it to simply act on impulse in the heat of the moment?" Captain asked once the ringing subsided. "Let me answer that question for you. It's not. This squad's mission is to keep this brat alive, whatever the cost. Don't forget it. We keep pushing forward on horseback. Is that clear?"
"As a bell, sir!" Oluo replied.
"But they keep coming! They're all gonna die unless we turn around and do something!" Eren protested.
"Eyes front! Stop looking behind us!" Gunther ordered.
"Keep pace with the group! Maintain top speed, or we're all dead!" Eld added.
"How can all of you just ignore what's happening back there?" Eren asked as another loud crunch sounded from behind. "Are you telling me to abandon my comrades? Is that it?"
"Damn it, yes! Stop whining and do as your Captain tells you!" Petra snapped, and I stared wide-eyed at her. Never have I ever seen her lose patience like this before.
"Why are we letting people die? If this is part of some bigger picture, why can't someone explain it to me?"
"Ask not the reason why. Ask but to do and die! You'd understand what that meant if you weren't such a useless greenhorn! Now stifle it. Behave like a soldier!" Oluo yelled, and I couldn't help but agree with his words, even though the painful twist of Eren's features made an uninvited stab at my insides.
I didn't want to battle this thing. So many soldiers died trying. What good could we – just a team of six and a half fighters – do? I didn't like those odds, and the ominous stumping behind us continued, getting closer and closer with each passing second.
Each deafening stomping of the titan made the goosebumps break anew all over my skin. The following sting of fear made me clench my legs, hurrying the already wheezing horse even more. The sole feel of death standing right behind my back, following as though my own shadow, yet crunching and banging, making me all too aware of its presence. The horror of the chase we were not destined to win if it continued for long lay heavy on my chest. Sticky sweat broke out on my skin, and my arms stung with cold on the whistling air. The muscles of my legs hurt from the long ride, the effort of staying upright in the saddle shaking my body. My nails dug deep into my palms, drawing blood from the illogical strength I used to strangle the rains.
"I wouldn't blame you," Captain finally said, and Eren hesitated, his hand halfway to his mouth, teeth bared. "Do as your conscience dictates. The difference between your decision and ours is experience. But you don't have to fall back on that." There was no judgment in his tone. "It's your choice. You can trust yourself, or you can trust the Survey Corps and me. I don't know the right answer, and I never have – there's no guarantee, either way. You can only hope you choose what you'll regret the least afterward."
"Eren," I called, catching his gaze and holding it. "This is the type of situation when experience is what determines survival. You have to trust those who give orders because it's in everyone's interest that most of us live to see another day."
"Trust us, Eren," Petra added.
Closing his eyes for a moment, Eren shifted, finally bringing his hand down. "I trust you!" He screamed, at last, looking forward with a newfound determination in his expression. I exhaled in relief – we were not going to fight this thing.
At least for now.
We rode forward, the female titan close behind, almost stepping on our heels. The road turned, and we followed, crossing a wide opening when a command shouted out of nowhere: "Fire!"
I flinched, and hunched over, leaning closer to the horse, when the deafening round of shots sounded. And then another one. And another.
Horses continued to sprint until Captain jerked on his reins, stirring his horse to the side of the trope. I looked back, breathing heavily, as though it was me who sprinted all that time and not my horse, and caught a glance of the female titan hard-wired to the ground with hundreds of bolts and ropes. Immobile. Vulnerable.
Did we win?
"Everyone, hitch your horses a bit further on. Switch to ODM gear. I have to break away for a little while." Captain commanded, dismounting. He was still clenching the swords in his hands, never letting go of them since his own order to arm ourselves. His gaze jumped from team member to team member, landing on me for only a second. "Eld's in charge until I get back. Tuck Eren somewhere out of sight, away from the Female Titan. And see to my horse."
At that, he launched, his gear moving him away from us. I watched his form disappear in the tall of the trees around us. My heart kept racing from the chase, and I felt bare when Captain flew away. Naked. Exposed. Defenseless. Funnily so because I'd never felt anything like that around him. I was now used to the heavily loaded silence that his company usually provided and the exciting nervousness that made my stomach turn. That itchy calm of his presence, no matter the biting discomfort of his studying metal gaze or the pleasant, painfully so, electrified air around his person, made me sickly addicted. I found myself missing it more than I would like to admit. More than I could reason to.
"So, what do you think of us now, Eren?" Asked Oluo, looking as arrogant as ever. "We managed to outsmart the damn thing! Let this be a lesson to you, greenhorn! Don't ever underestimate the Scouts!"
"So that was the plan from the start? I understand keeping it from me. But, keeping you guys in the dark? You'd think you'd earned a little more trust than that, right?" Eren asked after a few moments.
"Damn, you're annoying," Oluo breathed out, rolling his eyes.
"I hope you're not suggesting the Captain kept the plan from us because he thinks we're a liability!" Petra exclaimed, her voice high-pitched and more emotional than usual. I leaned on the nearest tree, openly watching her, surprised at her tone.
"I'm sorry, but I am! There's just no other way it makes sense!"
"Enough of this! Verity, do you mind knocking the teeth out of his skull? Since you are so good at hand-to-hand combat." Oluo suggested, a playful irritating smirk curling his lips.
"Shove it, Oluo. The boy has a point." I replied, my mind going over and over everything that didn't quite match with this mission.
"Well, for being as supposedly instrumental to the plan as we were, the Captain didn't give us much to go on," Eld added, sitting down on a fallen tree bark.
"So, what?" Asked Gunther, looking puzzled and barely short of hurt.
"That means he doesn't trust us. Kind of a big deal. C'mon, you guys. Think about it. Maybe Eren isn't the only one who can change. Maybe someone in the regiment's a Titan spy." Eld explained.
"A spy? Are you sure about that?"
"Well, no. But I'm sure the Commander believes it. He'd have to. And I'll wager you anything the only people in the know on this were the survivors from five years ago."
"Of course. That's got to be it." Gunther drew out, leaning his back on the nearest tree.
"I concur wholeheartedly. Hear that, Snivel-drop? There was a good reason." Oluo chimed in, sending a haughty glance in Eren's direction.
Petra nodded, perking up finally. "Right. Yes. A perfectly good reason. It adds up. After all, in their position, it's the best way of narrowing down the list of suspects to a manageable number. Shiganshina's probably when the spy got in."
"So, you think this person's responsible for killing Sawney and Beane?" Eld asked.
"Possibly. In fact, after it happened, the Commander asked me this odd question…." Petra trailed off, sending a long look in my direction. I scowled, remembering how the events played out in that backyard.
"People," I whispered the answer under my breath.
"So that's what he meant. Of course." Eren mumbled, looking shocked.
"If we'd known the answer to that question, he probably would've let us in on what was happening today. Though, there again, I really don't think any of us could've." Eld said.
"Speak for yourself, my friend. I knew." Oluo lifted his chin and squinted slightly, doing his best to portray our Captain. It looked laughable. "I just decided to keep my own counsel. Doubtless, you appreciate the reason for my silence."
"Which would be?" Asked Petra, looking sourer with each word coming out of his mouth.
"Oh, come now. Surely you all know? Dear, oh, dear. Perhaps I've said too much already. Well, one day, when you've reached my level of expertise..."
"If you are trying to look like the Captain, then you are doing a poor job at it," I said, looking him over. His lips thinned, and he opened his mouth, ready to start our common bickering round when a column of black smoke shot through the skies in the direction of Trost.
"That's our cue," Gunther said, pushing off the tree. "All right, let's saddle up! We're going home!"
Sheathing my swords, I readied for the leap and followed once most of my team jumped into the air, swinging from tree to tree and finally flying to safety.
"Oluo! Petra!" Eld yelled, twisting in the air to face the rest of the team moving behind him. "I gotta hand it to ya both. For someone who wet themselves the first time out, you've come a long way."
Petra's scream made me lose grip on the gear, and one of my hooks missed the tree I was aiming for. I flew sideways, ungracefully righting myself at the very last second before hitting a rough tree bark face first. The laughter toppled out of me, seizing only upon seeing the hurt face of Petra.
My friend Petra.
"I thought we agreed never to speak of it again! And you," she pointed a finger in my direction, "traitor!"
"I'm sorry!" I yelled back, feeling my cheeks heat with shame. "If it makes you feel better, I almost threw up on my first outing."
"Yeah, not the same thing. Incidentally, I've never once pissed myself in battle." Eld said, smiling wide and apparently enjoying himself.
"How dare you! I have the highest kill-count of anyone on the damn squad! Argh! Imbecile!" Oluo screamed at him, looking as white as a correspondence paper.
Eld chuckled, facing forward once more. "You wanna hide that stain behind your kill-counts, be my guest."
"Shut your hole!"
"So," started Eren, looking between Petra and Oluo, "did it, like, rain down on everyone midair, or what?"
"Enough! No one cares who pissed who's pants! Focus on the job at hand!" Gunther snapped but, after a moment, added: "For the record, my shorts've always been dry."
Before Oluo could reply with another of his snarky comments or simply point to the kill-count yet again, the green flare shot from the left side of us, cutting through the trees from the direction of the female titan's trap.
"Must be a signal from the Captain himself. Stow the chatter 'til we're home. We'll rendezvous with Levi shortly." He paused on the closest tree branch and readied the answering flare before motioning us to switch directions to meet up with the Captain.
My stomach twisted again for no reason. This flare situation and the changing of course – was not something that the Captain had informed us of beforehand. Was it something that I simply didn't know he could do?
I caught up to Petra, catching her attention. "Is this normal that we are asked to change our determined route like this?"
"What do you mean? There was a flare," Petra replied, looking puzzled.
"Yeah, but… I don't know. I just have a hunch."
She looked me all over, her brow creasing, and after a moment, her eyes went wide. "Shit, you don't mean…."
"Wait, that's not the Captain!" Gunther yelled, and a cloaked figure flew by, swords out and at the ready. They crashed in midair, and I heard a loud groan right before the figure jumped off, swinging to the side, and the explosion of light followed, blinding everyone.
"Gunther!" Screamed Eren. "You okay? What happened?"
Twisting to the side and covering my eyes from the light, I glanced in Gunther's direction. He hung on his gear. Limp. Motionless.
Dead.
I heard someone scream, and Petra flew by, clenching my arm and shoving me forward. I turned away, but all I could see was Gunther's unmoving form.
Gone. Just like that.
One second here and laughing with us, and another…
"Move!" Petra screamed at me, and I engaged my ODM, flying off on pure instinct, my mind stuck on the picture it couldn't process.
"I can fight her too!" Eren's scream got me out of the stupor, and my vision finally sharpened.
"Just go! This is our best course of action! We cannot afford to put you at risk!" Eld yelled back.
"After all this, you still doubt our skills?" Oluo asked. Even the usual bravado of his choice of words fell short. His voice sounded as pained as I felt.
"Is that true, Eren? I thought you had faith in us. That you trusted us!" Petra screamed from behind me.
Eren grimaced but nodded. "I have faith in the Levi squad! Good luck!"
Petra and I shared the last look before she shifted in the air, changing directions and flying back and toward the titan. Eld and Oluo were the first to engage, falling into the formation just as we practiced time and time again. Except we were short of one member.
Heart clenching and my chest contorting, I followed suit, switching directions before my mind could scream at me to run. I owed that to Harold. I owed that to my team.
And for the first time ever, I was not going to run.
AN
I'm so sorry that this chapter came out this late. I swear, I will get better at posting! Watch me write one or even two more chapters until the end of the week because my brain just despises scheduling. xD
Thank you so much for your patience! I hope you are still enjoying this story!
To cut to the chase, the main reason why this chapter was one month too late was my lovely writer's block. I sat down at least four times to write this, but every time either the text wouldn't flow or just turn out to be literal trash. At this point, I have more drafts for this chapter than generally for the whole fic. Usually, having a detailed chapter plan saves me from this, but I guess my writer's block is getting smarter and is finding ways around my countermeasures.
I will be posting general info there on when the chapters will be coming out.
Also, I kept kind of true to my promise of posting the chapter on the 30th of January. In my time zone, I still have 5 minutes left before deadline when this chapter airs :D