Verity
Everything happened so fast that I could barely comprehend it. Rushing after my teammates, I had mere moments to evaluate our situation before being thrust into battle.
Eld and Oluo shot forward, right in the titan's face, forcing her to stumble and go for them. She grabbed at Oluo, but he switched directions before her palm closed around him. Eld flew past, yelling something at her. Keeping her attention elsewhere.
"Forward!" Petra commanded, and I didn't have to ask what she meant by that. Grasping my swords, I pressed on the gas, probably wasting more of it than necessary. My cords flew out, shooting for the beast's face. Metal hooks crashed into titan's left cheek, and I saw two more land on the other side of her face. Petra shot past me, nearing titan at an alarmingly fast pace. Following her lead, I readied for a hard landing, straining muscles to turn myself in the air, feet first, when I landed into titan's face. At the last second, I threw my blades out, aiming for her eye. Sharp metal easily pierced the squishy mass, and I cringed at the sensation and the soft splashing sound as I pulled the blades out and jumped off. Pirouetting in the air, I flew around the stumbling titan, noticing Petra do the exact same.
Good. All that training might not have been for nothing.
Monster's arms flew up, and she covered the back of her neck before Oluo shot down with a warrior scream, aiming at her ankles. Eld took on the other leg. All perfectly in sync. Trained to a dance-like perfection. The female titan didn't know who she was trying to fight with. She didn't stand a chance.
Losing support, she went down, falling back to the tree behind her and sliding down. As on cue, Petra and I went for her, targeting her limbs, immobilizing her more and more with each cut. Steam erupted from every scratch we made to her body. My muscles screamed with effort, and titan's blood burned at my skin as we continued to cut, jump away, switch positions with Eld and Oluo, then cut some more.
One of her arms finally fell, muscle and tissue ripped apart by our blades. Soon the second one followed, and Eld yelled: "Now go for the neck!". Following his own order, he flew to her, blades at the ready. I circled in the air, facing the titan again and preparing for my next attack, as commanded when Eld reached her.
The whole world slowed. I could see in slow motion as the titan opened one of her eyes and lunged at Eld with the gaping mouth. He didn't have time to react. Neither had any of us, as she caught him in her mouth and bit down. The crunching sound that followed made all the hairs on my body stand on end. Droplets of blood splattered, and one of Eld's legs wiggled and disconnected, falling to the ground first before titan spit out the rest of his body.
Petra screamed, awkwardly changing her trajectory to move away from the titan, as she yelled: "How? She can see again?! That's impossible! It hasn't even been thirty seconds."
My body moved on its own accord. I was too shocked to properly understand what'd just happened. I switched directions, following Petra, my mind went blank, and all the hard-trained techniques disappeared from my head in a blink of an eye. Titan lunged after us; her heavy footfall following us seemed to make the world shake. My blood ran cold, and my fingers started to numb on the swords.
"Petra, pull yourself together!" Oluo yelled from behind us. I glanced back at him, just to see the titan fast approaching. She was only dozens of meters away. She would reach as any second.
"Petra!" I screamed when the beast jumped forward, lifting her leg as if for a kick.
Not again.
"No!" I yelled, pushing my body right into Petra's way and shoving her into the nearest tree and away from the attack. But I was not fast enough. Before we were securely out of the way, the pain sliced through my right side. My hands slipped from Petra's arm, and I was thrown in the other direction. The world twisted and turned, and the dark stains covered my vision, as the pain rippled through my frame. It only took moments before I hit something hard. The air left me in a whisp as I tried to grab onto the thing I crashed into. Hands slipping, I scratched at the rough tree bark as my body slowly slid down. Before I knew it, I was falling again. The next hit took away my consciousness, with the excruciating pain reverberating through my entire body.
Just before the world went black, I could hear the screams of my teammates behind the growing ringing in my ears.
Levi
Gunther was the first I'd found. His lifeless body dangled on the strings of his ODM like a fucking cat toy.
I was too late.
Again.
Following the trail of the crashed thicket, I couldn't help the all-too-familiar sting in my chest. No regrets – that's how I decided to live all those years ago when I'd lost Farlan and Isabel. Yet choosing to believe that did not relieve my soul of the hurt of loss that followed me like a damned shadow.
I knew what I would find when that green signal pierced the sky. I knew what awaited me right after the unmistakable piercing roar of Eren's titan.
They were dead, weren't they? All of them.
I knew that, but I had to check anyway. Because hope is the drug of the fools, and no matter how hard I'd tried, I couldn't shake it off.
Blood was splattered all over the small clearing. Crashed branches and tipped-over trees covered some of the mess. Eld was the second. Torn into pieces, barely recognizable. Then Oluo crashed into the ground like a fly. Petra was mere meters away from him, staring into the skies with those usually warm honey-colored eyes. They were glossed over now. Still. Lifeless.
Fuck.
I turned, searching the ground for the last one. For some reason, the sole idea of finding her body just as crooked and bloody made my stomach twist all the more. Walking away from my fallen comrades, I spotted another trail of blood. It ran down the tree, ending in the tall grass beneath. I took a few steps forward, reading myself for the picture.
It didn't matter anyway. She was just another team member. Another soldier died in this endless war for survival. So then, why the fuck did I struggle to take those last steps and check on her as I did on all the others? Why did my blood boil with the idea of finding her like that?
I had to force a long breath in and out of my lungs when I saw her limb body curled up and unmoving. The wind played with the ends of her cloak, and the stray hair broke free from the braid, covering her face and sticking to the drying blood. Her eyes were closed, and for once, I was thankful that I couldn't see that piercing dark gaze of hers, calling me like the void itself. Her face looked pained, as though she couldn't find peace even in death.
Anger spiked deep within, hot and sharp, cutting its way through my body like a shock wave. My hands trembled, clenching the swords with more strength than necessary. I had to remind myself that Eren was my priority now. I had to get him back. That's what our mission was about, besides catching the bitch titan. Only once I'd succeeded with it could I entertain the idea of slicing a female titan to bits and pieces, watching her heal and then slice again. Only then could I say goodbye to my team and let myself grieve, if only for a brief moment.
Taking a long last look at Verity, I forced myself to turn away, readying to engage my gear, when I heard her choke. I froze, disbelieving, half afraid that my mind conjured it up, when a soft groan sounded again. I twisted in place and sprinted, reaching her in no time. Softly pulling at her shoulder, I turned her on her back. Verity coughed, spitting blood and choking on it.
Alive.
Obviously hurt but fucking alive.
"Where are you hurt?" I asked, my voice as calm and calculated as ever, no matter my racing heart. She opened her eyes, and her gaze slowly focused on me.
"Captain," she choked out, her voice barely audible. She tried to take a long breath and cringed, her eyes rolling in pain.
"Where are you hurt?" I repeated, assessing all the blood stains on her uniform. There was a long, angled cut on her forehead, and the blood streamed down her face. Her arms and legs didn't look broken, but the bloody jagged wound on the side of her stomach didn't look all that good.
"My… ribs. I think I'd broken a few."
I reached into a small compartment attached to my gear and pulled out a set of bandages. "There is a wound on your side. You will bleed out if I don't deal with it. I need you to sit up." Waiting for her confirmation, I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into a sitting position. She wobbled in place, swearing under her breath and groaning.
"Wait. I think I'm gonna be sick," she croaked out, leaning to the side right before retching on the ground.
I cringed but stayed where I was, holding her in a sitting position. "You might have a concussion."
"Where's everyone?" She asked, wiping at her mouth with a sleeve.
"Hold still," I unwrapped the bandage roll and pressed at her wound on the stomach, laying bandages as tight as possible.
"Captain," she whispered, her voice suddenly trembling with emotion. It took me by surprise, and I frowned at her. "Is… is everyone else…"
"Gone," I grit out as the familiar pain sliced through my chest like an old wound that suddenly opened, threatening to bleed me dry. Verity stared at me for a moment, blinking rapidly as her eyes started to water. She nodded shakily and dropped her head, hiding her face from my studying gaze.
Her shoulders shook, and she whispered: "I tried to save them. I know you won't believe me, but I did everything I could. I… I didn't want them to…." A sob rippled out of her chest, and she groaned when her broken ribs moved.
I tied the bandage and hooked a finger under her chin, making her look at me. Tears streamed down her face, and her lower lip trembled when she sucked in a shaky breath. I studied the cut on her forehead, deeming it survivable for the time being, before looking her straight in the eyes. "I believe you." Releasing her chin, I stood. "Stay here. I will be back."
Lunging into the air, I sped toward the distant roaring, feeling painfully conflicted about how heavy my heart felt when I saw her cry.
Verity
I believe you.
Those words hurt the most. Because I didn't believe in what I'd said myself.
Did I, in fact do everything to save them?
If I did, wouldn't they be alive now?
Gone. Sweet and understanding Petra, always seeing the best in me, even when there was no "best" to me at all. Snarky and annoying as shit, Oluo too arrogant for his own good but never meaning any of his hurtful comments, secretly liking Petra and not knowing how to handle it. Gunther quiet yet reliable, loyal to no extent. Eld smart and with a bright career in front of him.
I never thought I would grow to care about them. Still, somewhere along the way, our usual banter became enjoyable, the team support palpable, connections stronger, and the jokes freer. I never had a proper family to remember, yet around them, I started to feel as though I had it. Oluo, the annoying uncle with his stupid jokes that no one really understood. Petra - the worrying older sister who cares too much for her own good. Gunther and Eld – two older brothers, watching over the rest of us and scolding us when we were in the wrong.
And now they were gone. Just like my real family.
Another ugly sob tore through my chest, and I hiccupped, moaning through the pain. My body hurt all over, and every breath felt like inhaling fire, yet nothing could compare to the agony within. Leaning with my back to the tree, I stared at the leaves shuffling at the wind. Vision consistently blurred, and I hiccupped again, feeling on the verge of screaming.
The churning sounds of the approaching ODM gear made me rub my eyes to hide the tears. Two figures approached, and one of them carried an unconscious body. They landed in the clearing, and only then did I recognize Captain. He visibly winced when his feet touched the ground and put the body he carried down. The girl to his right, Mikasa, instantly went for it, falling to her knees and calling Eren's name. Captain left them, heading for me.
"We are going back to the horses," he said when he reached me, kneeling. "You all right?"
I nodded, fearing my voice would give out if I tried to speak. Biting on my lower lip to stop it from trembling, I attempted to stand up when the world turned, making my head swirl in place. Bile burned at the back of my throat, and I closed my eyes, stilling myself. Captain shifted, and I flinched when I felt his hands on me. My eyes flew open, and I was about to protest when he stood up, effortlessly picking me up and throwing me across his shoulders. Blissfully, he didn't touch my skin, and the burning wave of pain that shot through me had everything to do with my injuries and not the touch itself. "You must hold on to me yourself. I can't operate ODM and have both my hands occupied." He said, taking a testing step to the side. "Also, do me a favor and don't throw up. I just might drop you if that happens."
A hysterical chuckle built in my throat, and I giggled into his back, instantly groaning in pain as I did. The laughter died as quickly as it came, and my eyes wetted with the fresh tears. I clung to Captain's sides as Mikasa picked up unconscious Eren, and we lunged into the air.
It was uncomfortable in more ways than one. I could feel each muscle in Captain's body at work as he moved us through the forest on ODM. Each movement caused pain, and I could barely restrain myself from screams, but occasional yelps and whimpers escaped. He didn't say another word to me as we traveled. And if at first my physical struggles were mixed with the thoughts of my team members and the awkwardness of my position, soon everything that was left was the blinding agony rippling through my body with each of Captain's movements. I clenched his sides even harder, and he flinched under my touch. His shirt was slightly wet from sweat and blood, and I tried to focus on that instead of my misery.
When we reached the horses, Captain carefully put me into the saddle, and I had to bite my lip to stop from screaming. Tears kept rolling down my face, and I didn't even bother to hide them anymore. Everything hurt. Moving, breathing, thinking. Remembering. Saddle shifted, and a warm body settled right behind me. I flinched forward from the touch, only to groan in pain and sack back.
"Sit back. It will hurt more if you shift too far," Captain instructed in his commanding and distant voice. I knew that voice well now, and somehow it managed to calm me down. I shifted back, closing my eyes against the pain and trying to relax against his hold. His arms went to each side of my body as he grabbed the reins. My back was pressed hard against his chest and was it any other man, I would panic. But somehow, I'd grown to trust Captain. His touch never burned me the same way any others did.
The warmth coming from his body didn't seem disturbing or uncomfortable. On the contrary, it lulled me as though numbing some of the hurt. And even though riding was as painful as one could imagine, I soon found myself relaxing even deeper into his body, feeling sickly protected in his unexpected yet welcome embrace.
The bodies were piling up. Looking at them made my heart painfully twist. If only I had more strength, I would continue to cry. But I was emotionally and physically exhausted, watching soldiers stack our dead comrades onto the wagons like sacks of potatoes.
Shifting my gaze to the side of the line of transport, I focused on Captain's lone figure. He stood above four particular bodies, silently staring at them. I held my breath when he kneeled in front of the first one. Shoving the blanket away, he froze for a moment before pulling out a knife and cutting off an emblem from the front of the scout's jacket. He did it four times in total, collecting each of the stripes and pocketing them before covering the bodies anew and walking away without another glance back.
I didn't know at what moment tears started to roll down my face again, but by the time the wagons finally moved to bring us back home, I could no longer restrain the sobs. Neither did I bother to.