[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Goku and Piccolo flying through the air trying to track down Raditz)

"We start here, good, at least there's continuity" Hatsu commented, Shakara rolled her eyes and said "Never change Hatsu, never change."

GOKU: Hey Piccolo. Mind if I ask you somethin'?

PICCOLO: What is it?

GOKU: You're not human either, right?

Zettai sighed and said "No sh1t detective.", Virus wanted to slap her so bad for the language, but he knew that she had a point.

PICCOLO: Yeah...

GOKU: And your dad spit you out as an egg, right?

Paint shivered and remembered when she gave birth to Zettai, "God it still hurts when I think about it." She grimaced as she said that.

PICCOLO: What about it?

GOKU: Are... Are you a Yoshi?

"The green dinosaur that lives with Mario?" Shakara wondered outloud, "Probably, there aren't any other Yoshis we know of." Tauira replied.

(Piccolo gives an annoyed look at Goku)

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) ...Yes, Goku. I'm a green f**king dinosaur!

GOKU: Can... Can I ride you?

Dreamiv facepalmed and said "He can't be this clueless can he?" , Thinner shrugged and responded "I mean, it's better than how Shakara was when she was little.", Shakara gave Thinner a confused look, but brushed it off.

(Piccolo lets out an annoyed groan)

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a crying Gohan and Raditz)

RADITZ: Shut up. I said, shut up! SHUT UP! Damn it, why isn't screaming angrily making you cry less?! I'm going to put you in the time-out pod. (puts Gohan in his Space Pod and closes the door) (Zettai-Nezumi: What an a**hole!) (thinking) Thank sweet merciful God that's over. (out loud) Now I can just sit back and—(scouter beeps) ...beat the crap out of whoever's coming. (sighs) ...Great.

(Raditz looks into the sky and sees Goku and Piccolo come flying down)

GOKU: Raditz! Give me back my son! (jumps off Nimbus) Wheeeeee!

RADITZ: So, you're here already. And I see you brought the Namekian (Starrow: That's what they're called?/ Shakara: Yeah, no idea where it came from.) as well.

GOKU: A-actually, that hasn't been explained yet.

RADITZ: Oh. Well, it's not like anyone cares about him anyway.

Anomaly chuckled when they heard Raditz say that, "Surely he has some character develoment, come on!" they exclaimed.

(Piccolo removes his cape and grabs his turban)

PICCOLO: Well screw you too!

GOKU: Piccolo, you use weighted training clothes as well?

Shakara raised her eyebrow hearing this "They use weighted clothing too?" she asked no one in particular, but it certainly got Paint to turn to her in surprise, "You wear weighted clothing?" She asked her sister, "Yes, why?" Shakara replied, Paint blinked a few times before inquiring "Is that why all the clothes I used to make you ripped one after another!?", learning about the fact that Paint was the reason she couldn't keep a leotard from ripping one after another was enough to have Shakara slap Paint, "Moving on." She said like nothing happened.

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) No, Goku. I just love to get naked when I'm around you. (drops his turban)

RADITZ: (thinking) Their power level is rising! (out loud) So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet! (unzips his pants)

"NO! WHY!?" Thinner yelled, but Tauira said "Not as big as Shakara, can guarantee", Shakara turned to her, red in the face, "Tauira..." she said, "Yes?" The Silhouette asked, getting "Nevermind" as a reply.

GOKU: Uh... no. We're wearing weighted clothing.

RADITZ: (quickly zips up his pants and crosses his arms) Oh... Of course! Because that would be ridiculous! (laughs nervously)

PICCOLO: ...So that hair does compensate for something.

Nezumi smirked before she turned to Shakara "Well dad, I guess it's true then." she said, beggining to giggle right after, but stopped when she noticed the angered look on Shakara's face.

(Phil Sebben's head pops up)

PHIL SHEBBEN: Ha ha! Dangly parts.

RADITZ: SHUT UP! (quickly dashes behind Goku and Piccolo and elbows both of them, knocking them off their feet.)

PICCOLO: Okay, what the hell was that?

"Someone being stronger than you, sucks doesn't it?" Paint commented, sneaking a glance at Shakara, "Still not over that?" Thinner asked, "Are you?" Paint asked back, getting Thinner to shut up.

GOKU: I don't know! But let's try it again... from behind!

(Goku and Piccolo tries to attack Raditz from behind, who counterattacks by kicking at both of them, knocking them away)

PICCOLO: We really shouldn't be announcing our attack strategy!

Nezumi looked at the sky hearing this and said "No... You that's a good idea? I never would have guessed... How about you try mind reading?", the others laughed at this.

GOKU: Rush him! (leaps towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: Damn it, Goku! (also rushes towards Raditz) Will you at least try to dodge this one?!

GOKU: Dodge what? (Virus: Dodge what?) (Raditz fires his Double Sunday attack) (Virus: Oh that.) OH GEEZ!

(Goku manages to dodges the blast, but Piccolo isn't as lucky as he loses his left arm)

GOKU: Ha! You missed me!

Starrow facepalmed having noticed Piccolo losing his arm "Ye was the lucky one, wouldn't say the same fer the green scurvy dog" She said, getting a weird look from Avaritia who asked "What's up with you today? You haven't talked like that in about a hundred years!", Starrow turned to her and replied "It be a copin' mechanism, 'ow do ye think I screamed only one durin' this here dang thing?"

(Raditz appears behind Goku)

RADITZ: My bad. (Zettai: That's what you get show off!/ Virus: Again, fair enough.) (kicks Goku, knocking him away)

GOKU: (thinks) Note to self: Less talky, more fighty. (slowly gets up and look towards Piccolo) Hey Piccolo. We may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one. (Piccolo gets up with blood dripping from his severed arm) High fi-IIIIIEEEEE! (Shakara: Good thing it grows back/ Tauira:...It does?/ Shakara: Yes, I think...) Uh... handsha—... thumbs u—... G-good job!

RADITZ: Ha ha! Aaaahaha! Aaaahaha! Aw, excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it, it's green! (Thinner: That feels personal, if it was me there I probably would melt his mouth right away.) Ha ha ha!

PICCOLO: Yeah... Anyway, listen. I've got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm.

GOKU: And what's the downside?

PICCOLO: You'll have to distract him while I charge it...

Anomaly waited for him to finish talking, but Goku started instead, "How long!? How long is the charge!?" They lamented, Nezumi was surprise at this incaratteristic demeanor, "What's up? Struck a nerve?" she joked, but reeled back when Anomaly got close to her and said "You of all people shouldn't be asking that!"

GOKU: That's not too bad—

PICCOLO: For five minutes. (Anomaly: And there it is!/ Nezumi: I still don't get what this has to do with me.) And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one and—ah, never mind, I'm sure you can handle it.

GOKU: Wow. You really have that much faith in me?

Tamaka smiled and commented "Yeah, you look like a good meatshield, could bulk up a little though.", Shakara chuckled and responded "You should have seen this mountain of muscles in the tournament, but like mountain of muscles."

PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Why not?

GOKU: Well then, I won't disappoint you. (Avaritia: He does realize it's sarcasm right?/ Nightmare King: After only seeing a episode and a half with him in it? I'd say you're giving him too much credit.) (dashes towards Raditz) Here goes nothing! Haaaaagggghhh! Ready or not, here I—(gets attacked by Raditz while the screen shifts to Piccolo) aaaaahhh!

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts; singing the tune of "Mahna Mahna" while Goku is getting beaten senselessly by Ratitz) Mahna Mahna do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna do do-do do. (Dreamiv: Yeah sing why not, could do without the ambiance.) Mahna Mahna do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do Ima chargin' my attack.

(Scene changes Goku getting the upper hand by grabbing Raditz's tail.)

GOKU: Ha! Got your tail!

"Impossible! somethin' smart!? 'ow 'as reality not collapsed on itself yet!?" Starrow exclaimed, Avaritia put her hand on Starrow shoulder and patted it, "Wait for it..." She said.

RADITZ: Please let me go?

GOKU: Well, since you asked nicely...

Starrow wanted to actually scream, so she buried her face in Dreamiv's hair and let it out, "Let it all out dad, let it all out." Paint said as she patted Starrow's back

(Goku lets go of Raditz's tail; who thanks him by kicking him away)

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts while Goku recieves another senseless beating from Raditz offscreen) Perhaps on second thought, a whole five-minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle.

GOKU: (offscreen) Piccolo help! (scene changes to Goku grabbing Radiz's tail again) Ha! Got your tail...! Again!

RADITZ: Please let go?

GOKU: I'm not falling for that again!

Hatsu was surprised "He actually learned from his mistakes?" She wondered.

RADITZ: Pretty please let me go?

GOKU: (once again lets go of Raditz's tail) (Hatsu: Maybe I'm too optimistic.) Well... (Raditz elbows Goku, knocking him away) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (Raditz stomps on Goku's ribs) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs!

RADITZ: Aha! Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy! No, no, no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Retarded?

RADITZ: That's it, (Nezumi: Yeah, that is definitely it./ Nightmare King: I was wondering what the word was.) thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—

GOKU: Uh-uh! A Yoshi!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) I'm not a god damn Yoshi!

GOKU: But you said you were!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) It's called sarcasm!

GOKU: What's that taste like?

"For some reason I'm not surprised" Avaritia commented as she petted Starrow, who once again was about to scream.

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Damn it Goku!

(Raditz crushes Goku's ribs)

RADITZ: STOP IGNORING ME!

GOKU: Aaah my ribs! I think you broke my (Anomaly: Don't think about food, please...) ...mmmmmm ribs.

RADITZ: Uggggh. (stomps on Goku's ribs three more times and prepares to kill him) Stop! Ignoring! Me! AND DIE! (Starrow: Yes! Do everyone a favor!) (scouter beeps) Huh?

GOHAN: Stop beating up my daddy! (breaks out of Raditz's Space Pod)

(Gohan rushes towards Raditz)

RADITZ: Nooo, my Space Pod—(Gohan headbutts Raditz) (Tamaka: I see now./ Shakara-Nezumi: Told you!) Augh! My space armor!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) We get it, you're from space!

(Gohan lands next to Goku)

GOKU: G-Gohan. (GOHAN: Huh?) What... was that?

Virus tilted his head hearing Goku didn't know about Gohan's power, "Isn't the kid his son? Wouldn't he inherit at least the potential?" He said outloud.

GOHAN: (gets up) Daddy!

GOKU: No-no, seriously. What the hell was that? We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do that—(Gohan looks behind and notices Raditz) Oh, crap.

RADITZ: (approaches a frightened Gohan) Uncle Raditz is PISSED! (smacks Gohan, which the screen pauses upon impact)

KAISERNEKO: We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence. (Nezumi-Anomaly-Nezumi-Virus: Boring...) We do, however, find it hilarious. (Zettai-Anomaly-Nezumi-Virus: That's slightly better.)

(Screen unpauses as Gohan is sent flying by Raditz's attack)

GOKU: Wait, hold on!

RADITZ: Oh, what? Mister Shattered Ribs is going to stop me? (begins walking towards Gohan)

GOKU: Listen, you don't understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would do to me if she found out he died!

Tauira facepalmed and commented "I think I get why Goku didn't know about his potential."

(Raditz begins charging up a Ki blast at Gohan)

RADITZ: Well, sucks to be you!

GOKU: (thinking) I don't have any choice. I have to use my last technique!

RADITZ: NOW DIE! (Oracle: Not if Goku uses his ultimate-) (prepares to kill Gohan)

(Goku grabs Raditz from behind)

GOKU: Full Nelson! (Oracle: -Full Nelson... Which works for some reason.)

RADITZ: A Full Nelson? That won't work on me! I'm Raditz! (tries to break free but can't) Hurghhurgh! ...Okay, let go! (continues trying to break free, but no avail) Hurrrggrrrg! Seriously, this is starting to piss me off!

GOKU: Piccolo!

PICCOLO: Ready!

GOKU: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! (Starrow: No! just kill 'im! I can't take it anymore!) I'm right behind him!

PICCOLO: Oh sure; I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!

"Yes!" Starrow exclaimed, "Why do you hate him so much?" Avaritia asked, "Because you're the only one I want acting that innocent." Starrow replied, making Avaritia blush.

(scene shifts to Goku as Piccolo laughs evilly offscreen)

GOKU: Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that.

PICCOLO: MAKANSA—... MAKAKASAPOP—... MEKKASAPPA—... (Anomaly: It's already five minutes of charge, come on man get a grip./ Zettai: Reminds me of.. *Turns to Nezumi*/ Virus: Yeah, that's her alright.) (groans) Oh, to hell with it. SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! (fires the Special Beam Cannon at Goku and Raditz)

GOKU: Is that what you're going to yell out when you— (Special Beam Cannon pierces through both Goku and Raditz) OH GOD!

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Riiiiiicolaaaa— (blast hits mountain) AAAAAUUUUGH!

Hatsu groaned at hearing that overused joke, "I used it only two times in my shows, and it was already too much!" She exlaimed.

(both Goku and Raditz hit the ground, fatally wounded)

RADITZ: Damn it! And there was no way I could have gotten out of there!

PICCOLO: You know, you could've flown.

Avaritia frowned at the mention of flight ,"Yeah sure, flight, that's gonna be real useful if you plan to go for an attack right after a dodge.", Oracle heard and recorded this.

RADITZ: Damn you, hindsiiiiight! Bleh. (dies)

(Piccolo looks up in the sky and notices a ship heading towards the battlefield.)

KRILLIN: (from ship) Goku! After several hours of debating, we decided you might need us— (Shakara: Seriously!?/ Paint: You said it! At least mom doesn't wait until one of us dies!) (notices both Goku's and Raditz's damaged bodies) ah, crap!

(scene shifts to Krillin holding Goku's hand while Piccolo and Master Roshi watch)

KRILLIN: Goku! You can't die! Here, I brought a Senzu Bean!

"Senzu Bean?" Tauira wondered and Nezumi replied "Heals all wounds and restores energies."

GOKU: (dying) I don't think that's gonna work.

KRILLIN: Why not?

Nightmare King agreed with that "Exactly, why wouldn't it-"

GOKU: (dying) I sort of have a hole in my esophagus.

"...I see." He finished.

KRILLIN: Wait, then how are you breathing? (Anomaly: Through the power of bullsh*it?) (Goku slowly closes his eyes and dies) (Starrow: Finally! Inner peace!) ...Goku? ...Goku? Holy crap... I'm not the first person to die in this series!

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

MASTER ROSHI: Too soon!

BULMA: I can't believe he's gone.

PICCOLO: Yeah, pity that. (Starrow: Not an ounce/ Avarita: Starrow, come on, play nice.) RRRRRRAAAAHHH! (regenerates his left arm)

KRILLIN: (runs up to Piccolo) Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?

PICCOLO: Yeah. And you know what else?

KRILLIN: What?

PICCOLO: (quickly) I'm taking Gohan. Bye! (Zettai: Stop him!) (flies off with Gohan)

KRILLIN: Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Damn it Roshi!

Oracle glitched out here, "Oracle?" Thinner said as put a hand on her shoulder, "I think she glitched out due to the 'Sheer amount of stupidity' that came out of Krillins mouth, what excuse does he have now?" Paint explained.

MASTER ROSHI: Shut up, Krillin!

Paint smirked and said "Thought so."

(Krillin Owned Count: 2)

"Oh, that's still a thing" Hatsu commented.

KRILLIN: Aww...

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

GOKU: Gohan, do a Headbutt!

(in the style of Pokémon)

GOHAN: Gooooo-HAN!

Not many of the viewers got the reference, but Tauira happened to see a boy give a command to an animal just like Goku did here.

"Gohan used Headbutt!"

(Gohan headbutts Raditz)

"It was super-effective!"

The super-effective amused Tamaka "Not that effective, he got kidnapped." She mused, "Speaking of which, lets see how that goes." Hatsu said as she put up the next episode.