[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(cut to Piccolo in a rocky area)
PICCOLO: RAAAAAGH! (blows up giant rock formations with his scream) (Starrow: Didn't he kidnap Gohan?/ Avaritia: He did, where is he?/ Hatsu: It seems that this is a movie and so, not canon.) (thinking)Perfect. Now I have a place to put my castle once I rule the world. (Tauira: Still onto that?)And it'll have all the things a castle requires. Like walls...and subjects. (out loud) Maybe even a trebu- Huh? (notices a shadowy figure heading towards him)(thinking)Wait, are they running on air?(looks behind and sees another shadowy figure behind him)That's ridiculous, they're flying!(Shakara: Yeah, what the hell? No one did that in the tournament.) Why would they ever even need to- (a third shadowy figure uppercuts him from below) OH, GOD!
NIKKI: F**k him up! (the three shadowy figures attack Piccolo) From the front!
Hatsu sighed recognizing the trope, "Inuendo, why?" She lamented.
SANSHO: To the back!
PICCOLO: Oh, you better just KILL me! (Zettai: Careful what you ask pickle.) (sees four shadowy figure preparing to attack) ...Shit.
(The three shadowy figures simultaneously fires a blast at Piccolo, who screams as all three blasts connect. Cut to Kami inside his Lookout.)
KAMI: OH!
MR. POPO: (from outside) You okay in there, Kami?
KAMI: Mr. Popo, I believe...that Piccolo may have been slain!
Anomaly quickly caught on to that and said "I see what happened, one dies, so does the other.", this made sense to most people, but Nezumi was bothered by something "So why isn't he dying?" She asked and got a reply from Nightmare King "Incompetend people, while ruling a kingdom you see a lot."
MR. POPO: (from outside) I think you'd know if he were! (Paint: You'd think so, but apparently.) ...You still there?
KAMI: Yes.
MR. POPO: (from outside) Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?
KAMI: But you don't understand!
MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queen!
KAMI: I think Garlic Junior may have-
MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queeeeeeeeeen... (Shakara: He does look like a drama queen.) (is heard walking away)
KAMI: Mmm... Garlic Jr.'s back.
("DragonBall Z Abridged: Lord Slug" logo first appears on the screen and then disappears to show the text "Dead Zone")
(cut to Gohan in the forest)
GOHAN: (reading "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn") "Miss Watson, she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by, they fetched the nig-" (Avaritia: I think I heard something that sounded like that, back when we still had humans here.) Huh, that's not a word I've ever heard before. Oh, well. "They fetched the nig-"
CHI-CHI: (from inside the house) Gohan, lunch is ready! Come help me set the table!
GOHAN: Oh, yay! And Dad's gone fishing! Which means I'll get seconds!
The talk about lunch reminded Shakara of something, "I wonder what I should prepare for seconds..." She thought.
(Gohan closes his book and then cuts to Goku (Starrow: Fuck no!/ Avaritia: Come on./ Starrow: ...Fine.) underwater who seems to hear this and immediately jumps out of the water, naked and holding the tail fin of a fish. Cut back to Gohan walking toward his house.)
GOHAN: Huh?
OX-KING: Hey! Gohan!
GOHAN: Grandpa Ox!
Anomaly got triggered hearing that, "Oh no! He is not his grandpa! I dissected humans before and they don't grow to that size!" They lamented, refusing to believe it.
CHI-CHI: (walks out the front door) Oh, Daddy! (Anomaly: I call bullshit!/ Nezumi: Anomaly... Have you seen Zettai?/ Anomaly: Fair enough...) What are you doing here?
OX-KING: I wanted to drop by and see my grandson! Also, money for you guys to live!
CHI-CHI: Thank you, Daddy!
OX-KING: I also brought you a gift, Gohan!
GOHAN: *gasps* A puppy!
OX-KING: BOOKS!
Shakara narrowed her eyes a little and sarcastically said "Yay..."
GOHAN: (eyes narrowed, in an uninterested tone) Yay...
CHI-CHI: Oh, I'm sure he'll love them. (Zettai: He sure sounds enthusiast./ Nezumi: I wonder if this becomes a gag.) Won't you, Goha- (a book falls on Gohan's head) Daddy?
Oracle was confused at the face the Ox-King was making, "Why does he look so displeased?" She asked.
GOHAN: Grandpa? Grandpa? (the Ox-King collapses and almost falls on Gohan) Mom.. Mom! MOM! (runs to Chi-Chi) Mommy! Grandpa's having a stroke!
Not having an actual heart, Nightmare King just had to ask "What is a stroke?", Anomaly looked though a notebook they brought along and read "It seems to be a thing races that have hearts can have, it causes it to stop suddenly, it has a high possibility of killing them.", This got the one with hearts to whistle in nervousness, "Am I glad to be a slime" Paint commented.
CHI-CHI: Huh? (notices a cloaked hooded figure)
GINGER: Hi.
"That's the guy that knocked Piccolo out." Avaritia pointed out.
CHI-CHI: Gohan, go inside immediately!
NIKKI: (is waiting inside the house) Oh, yeah! Come on in! (eats a bunch of pears)
The sight of pears being eaten like that made Shakara gag, Tauira patted her back to make her feel better.
CHI-CHI: (thinking)Son of a bitch just ate my pears.(out loud) You know we don't have a car, right?! That's like a ten mile Nimbus ride to the nearest city! For pears! (Shakara: Don't buy them!/ Thinner: You can't just not do what you don't like!) You have ten seconds to tell me what you want before I strangle you with that cowl!
GINGER: I want the DragonBall! Give me the kid!
Starrow sighed at the stupidity and lamented "He just wants the Dragon Ball! Take it. And leave the kid!", Tamaka looked at her and responded "You do realize Avaritia took Shakara, and I said absolutely nothing when I found her again.", Avaritia looked away uncomfortably at being called out.
CHI-CHI: What? You can't have my son. You just want the DragonBall, right?
GINGER: Don't question my f**king methods! F**k it! I'm taking your dad! (Tamaka: The reason I didn't yell at Avaritia is that she had good intentions, he? He's just being a dick.) (lifts up the Ox-King a bit then drops him) He's a f**king fatass! Forget it! I'm gonna take your kid!
SANSHO: (off-screen) Yo, Ginger...
GINGER: Oh, right! Dragon Ball, too! (Nightmare King: Hatsu, is being idiotic a comedy trope?/ Hatsu: Oh most definitely.) Please! ...If you wouldn't mind.
CHI-CHI: I do.
GINGER: Too f**king bad!
CHI-CHI: Enough of this! (charges at GInger only to get knocked down easily)
There was stunned silence, until Zettai broke it "Well, that's anticlimactic"
GOHAN: Mommy!
GINGER: Ha-ha! F**king what?
(cut to Goku running while carrying the fish and arriving on the scene to find Chi-Chi on the ground)
GOKU: Chi-Chi! I heard lunch! (Starrow: An' there it be!) What happened?!
CHI-CHI: Goku, they took-
GOKU: Our lunch?
The return of the stupid jokes brought Starrow's rage "Ye fu***r! 'ere it be again! Not even an episode! It be a movie! so 'e won't die like the b*tch 'e be!", many were looking at Starrow, while the ones that knew her better only thought "Same old Starrow..."
CHI-CHI: No. They took...our so-
GOKU: Oh, hey. Your dad's here. Hi, Ox-King!
CHI-CHI: Focus! They took...Gohan!
GOKU: Aw, man! I can't have him miss lunch! (Avaritia: How about you show just a little bit more concern about your SON being kidnapped!) It's the fourth most important meal of the day! Right after brunch...but right before linner. ...Love me some linner, though. (Starrow: He's doing this on purpose! There's no other explanation!) So I'ma go get Gohan back. We'll be back in time for linner. Chicken and waffles? Chicken and waffles. (the Ox-King coughs) Oh, and some for your dad.
(cut to inside garlic Jr's castle)
GARLIC JR.: So let me get this straight. I sent you shitfits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler?
SANSHO: Well, we did bring back the DragonBall!
GARLIC JR.: And a toddler! (Oracle: I've calculated the difference of the stupidity between these guys and Gku, Goku wins, somehow.../ Starrow: I can live with that, these are the bad guys, surely they'll die.) Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?
NIKKI: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese Prince look together.
GINGER: And he's your size. You can ROCK that shit!
"I'm pretty sure you can only rock something when that something looks good in the first place." Shakara commented causing all of the others to look at her, "What?" She asked.
GARLIC JR.: ...Fair enough.
GOHAN: My daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!
GINGER: Big f**kin' whoop! We beat Piccolo, and that guy's strong as shit!
GOHAN: Yeah? So did my dad!
GINGER: By himself?!
GOHAN: Yeah!
GARLIC JR.: (realizes there's only one man strong enough to defeat Piccolo) Oh God, your father's Goku. (Starrow: Oh God, he's world known.) OH MY GOD, YOU MORONS STOLE GOKU'S KID?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU STEAL GOKU'S KID?!
NIKKI: Well, first we beat up his wife...
"Yeah, if I learned someone beat up Tauira, I would make sure to break each and every signle one of their bones, cut their belly open and let their organs fall out to an agonizing and slow death..." Shakara gave the scary hypothesis, causing many to move away from her.
GARLIC JR.: Oh, my shit... Okay, look. New plan: get the last two DragonBalls. NOW!
NIKKI: Oh, yeah! We'll just go off, scour the globe, and be back before linner! (Thinner: Please don't make that a thing.) *laughs* You know, it's not like they make a radar for this shit...
(cut to inside Kame House with Goku and the gang looking at the Dragon Radar)
Oracle perked up seeing the radar, "Something like that actually exists? I thought the balls were just some kind of rock." She commented, Nezumi shrugged and responded "They summon a giant wish granting dragon, surely more than rocks"
GOKU: Oh, yeah. Someone is collecting the DragonBalls.
BULMA: Why'd they take Gohan?
GOKU: I don't know. Maybe they just want a good ol'-fashioned Goku fanny-whoopin'!
BULMA: "Fanny"?
Tauira nodded and exclaimed "Good question!"
GOKU: Chi-Chi doesn't like us to swear.
BULMA: "Butt" isn't a swear!
GOKU: ...The HFIL you talkin' about?
The sound of facepalming echoed through the room as Starrow joked "Home for infinite losers! Sounds good to me!", Despite being a God awful joke, Hatsu actually replied "There's a spioff that has that name.", the disbelief was common place by this point.
(cut to Nikki chasing Gohan around the castle)
NIKKI: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHITPLIN!
GOHAN: No! You smell like hairspray and shea butter!
Avaritia's face contorted in disgust at the mention of shea butter, "That is disgusting! How can someone smell of that!?"
NIKKI: Swear to God, I don't know how I got put in charge of babysitting. I need something to take the edge off. (grabs and bites an apple, then gets smacked from behind by Gohan)
GOHAN: You're it! (takes off)
NIKKI: I will slap FIRE FROM YOU! I swear to God... (walks upstairs and finds Gohan) Oh, good. There you are. Now, be a good little crotch spawn and let's go back to your room!
GOHAN: I'm hungry!
NIKKI: Ah, well, maybe I can make you a peanut butter, jelly, and ether sandwich, and- (Gohan pulls out an apple from his robe) Where did you get that apple?
"What's wrong with the apple?" Nightmare King asked.
GOHAN: In the tree.
NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!
GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple.
NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!
GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple!
NIKKI: DO...NOT...EAT...THAT A- (Gohan eats the hole apple) Oh, balls... Well, I hope you packed your bags, kid. Because you're about to go on a TRIP...
(Gohan goes on a trip that would make Alice's trip in Wonderland jealous before cutting to him spacing out)
Wide eyed was the main expression there, Dreamiv hummed however and admitted "I think I went through something like that when I fell asleep in a catnip bush, less bleeding dragon heads thankfully."
(cut to Ginger and Sansho returning to the castle)
GINGER: Got the last motherf**kin' balls!
(cut to all seven DragonBalls together and glowing)
GARLIC JR.: Got to say, I'm sort of impressed. How did you find them so fast?
GINGER: Prize in a high stakes poker game!
Shakara frowned and turned to Paint, "Talking about poker, I know you cheated that time!" She accused her sister, "What!? No I didn't! Why would you think that!?" Paint defended herself, but Shakara had a reply ready "There's only one card for deck! I had a one of clovers, and you had another!", realizing she's been busted, Paint started whistling innocently.
GARLIC JR.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.
GINGER: Never said I played!
GARLIC JR.: Once again, fair enough.
(they summon Shenron, the eternal dragon)
SHENRON: I am the eternal dragon. (Zettai: Looks like a scarf!/ Thinner: Zettai! Don't insult the magical dragon!) Make your wish, and I shall-
GARLIC JR.: MAKE ME IMMORTAL!
A sigh of discontent came out of Avaritia's mouth, "Immortality!? That's so boring! Besides you stay alone most of the time! Good thing you guys are immortal" She accidentaly let that last part slip out, "...Wait we're immortal!?" Hatsu asked incredulous, "You won't die from old age." Avaritia corrected herself.
SHENRON: OH! R-really? Wow! I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that! Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.
GARLIC JR.: Wait, the hell's that mean?
"It means plot device." Hatsu explained.
SHENRON: It means YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED! (makes Garlic Junior immortal and disappears)
GARLIC JR.: Yes! YES! I can feel it! With this eternal body, I shall enslave the world and rule it with great prejudice and terror! Hail Garlic Jr.! (Shakara: Nezumi, Anomaly, if either of you choose to take your place on the throne, please never speak in third person/ Nezumi: Wouldn't do that even if the gave me a million festival tokens.) HAIL ME! (starts walking inside his castle)
MINIONS: HAIL GARLIC JR.! HAIL GARLIC JR.!
GOKU: HEY, GARLIC JR.!
MINIONS: HEY, GARLIC JR.! Huh? (they all turn around to look at Goku)
GOKU: I am Son Goku! And your name sounds yummy!
Avaritia made a weirded out face and did a so-so motion with her hand.
GARLIC JR.: I have been told.
GOKU: So, uh... Did you guys steal my kid?
The parents in the room mentally ageed on something, 'never let Goku babysit their kids'.
GINGER: Yup! F**kin' Amber Alert up in here!
NIKKI: Oh, don't worry about him, he's just high in the throne room.
GOKU: Joke's on you! (Starrow: Wait for it.) I can fly! (Starrow: I bloody knew it.)
GINGER: ...I think he's f**kin' dumb.
Oracle chuckled remembering the results of her calculations.
KAMI: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (drops in from the sky)
GARLIC JR.: And then there's THIS asshole!
"I guess they don't see eye to eye that much" Virus said, not expecting Anomaly to respond with "Well of course, one is short as fuck, the other is a flagpole", silcence filled the room before Tauira found the courage to speak up "Anomaly, I love you, but you're so dumb sometimes."
KAMI: Oh, hello, Goku. What are you doing here?
GOKU: They stole my kid.
KAMI: Mm.
"Thought God would know more about what happens in the world" Paint commented, causing those who knew Avaritia the most to look at her with a smirk, "What?" Avaritia asked and touched her face "Do I have something on me?"
GARLIC JR.: I'm quite surprised you're still alive, Kami! I believe the last time we talked was... Oh, when was that? Oh, right. When you BANISHED my father to another DIMENSION!
A chuckle came from Zettai as she said "That's quite the bad blood!"
KAMI: Oh, Garlic Jr.. How awful to see you again. You're looking grotesque as always.
GARLIC JR.: Oh, hi there, kettle, name's pot! Have we met?
"Bad blood indeed." Virus agreed.
KAMI: Listen, Goku. Just go after your son. I'll handle Garlic Jr..
GOKU: Thank God!
KAMI: You're welcome. (Avaritia: B1tch you what.) (Goku dashes past Garlic Jr. and heads inside the castle)
GINGER: Catch that bitch! (takes off after Goku)
NIKKI: Slow your roll, champ! (also takes off after Goku)
SANSHO: Hey, yo, wait for me! I'm bigger than y'all! (follows his comrades and takes off after Goku)
(Garlic Jr. and Kami stare at each other before cutting to Goku inside the castle)
GOKU: Man, left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch! (Nezumi: Those guys didn't look tasty so not an option./ Tauira: Nezumi, what./ Anomaly: To be fair, they are named after spices.) Maybe this place has a cafeteria. No, it's a castle. (stops in the middle of the hall) A meatery? (Nightmare King: Stop thinking about food and focus on saving your son!) (begins running up the stairs only for Garlic Junior's minions to block his path)
GINGER: You want some food? We can hook you up! How 'bout some motherf**kin' ginger?!
NIKKI: Or maybe some cinnamon?!
SANSHO: I got some pepper for you. You like pepper?
GOKU: Hey, those aren't foods! Those are things you put ON foods!
Tamaka shrugged and said "You can make food with those as a base."
GINGER: Like GINGERBREAD?!
NIKKI: Or CINNABUNS?!
SANSHO: I-I got nothin', um... (Shakara: I don't wnat to know what a pepper based food looks like.) (pause) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGS!
(all three minions bulk up)
Silence filled the room before the fighters all exclaimed "Huh!?", the others looked at them, not understanding what was wrong, "That's the most useless thing I've ever seen!" Shakara lamented, getting nods from the other members of the Elite Team, but Tauira asked "What? I don't get it.", Paint pinched the bridge of her nose and looked at Oracle, "Weight and speed are inversely proportional, the bigger something is, the heavier it is, so it hurt more if it hits, but it also makes it slower." She explained clarifing the issue.
GOKU: Okay, now you're just making me hungry! And you wouldn't like me when I'm- (gets attacked by the minions) Wait! Ahh! (hits a pillar and then gets back up on his feet) ...Hungry!
(cut back to Garlic Junior and Kami)
GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, you mad that I tried to have you killed?
KAMI: More confused why you target Piccolo instead of me. Not that it matters; I'm going to put you down for good, not unlike I did your FATHER, you miserable little-
GARLIC JR.: And I will enjoy watching you fail! Because you see, before you arrived, I used the DragonBalls to grant myself immortality! (starts laughing)
KAMI: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then used the DragonBalls?
Everyone got confused cause these two facts seemed pretty unrelated.
GARLIC JR.: (stops laughing) What? Yeah, why? Oh, shit... (Starrow: What? Why does that matter?/ Hatsu: Hold on... So Kami dies the Dragon Balls stop working./ Starrow: Ouch.) Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my minions are so incompetent!
(cut back to inside the hall with Goku knocking all three minions to the ground)
GOKU: Now tell me where the meatery is! ...And then the throne room! ...Please tell me the meatery is IN the throne room! (Nikki an Sansho fire a blast at Goku, but their blasts gets redirected by two blasts) Huh?
KRILLIN: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! (Dreamiv: Worked out well last time.) Hey, Goku! Looks like you could use some help!
GOKU: Not really, no. Hey, Krillin! Is that a second power beam?
PICCOLO: 'Sup?
(Krillin screams and jumps back)
GOKU: Oh, hey, Piccolo!
GINGER: You alive?!
GOKU: Well, of course he's alive! Kami's alive! (Anomaly: Just as I thought.) I mean, you guys have used the DragonBalls, right?
GINGER: ...Oh, wow! Yeah! Thank God we incompetent!
Nightmare King smirked before exclaiming "Hah! So they admit it!", Avaritia looked at him before asking "Why does that matter so much to you?", "Because being right feels nice." Nightmare King explained.
PICCOLO: Not even gonna lie, this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a castle. Walls, ceiling, meatery...
GOKU: WHERE?!
"STOP PLEASE!" Tauira begged, wanting Goku to focus on his son.
PICCOLO: (eyes the minions) ..Could do without the spice rack, though.
(Krillin is freaking out, when he feels liquid on top of his head, and he looks up to find that Gohan has wandered out and is now peeing on his head)
Nezumi, Anomaly, Zettai and Thinner all said this "What the fvck", "It's pee, it comes from there, how did you think it worked?" Starrow joked.
KRILLIN: WHY- (begins to gurgle as his mouth fills up with urine)
(Cut back to Kami and Garlic Jr. who have begun their battle. Kami tries firing eye beams at Garlic Jr, but he evades them and headbutts Kami to a pillar.)
GARLIC JR.: (punctuates each word with a blow) WHERE...IS...YOUR...GOD...NOW?! (Avaritia: I wonder how badly he does his job.) (the last punch sends Kami through the pillar, who manages to hold onto an edge to avoid falling) So, Kami, why don't you pray for your life? And then, like every person who's ever prayed to you, I'll ignore it! (Kami begins to glow) What the- (Kami uses an Explosive Wave to send Garlic Junior crashing into a wall and landing on his face)(muffled) Of course you know... This means war!
(cut back to inside the castle)
GOKU: Gohan! (runs for the stairs, but his path is once again blocked by the minions) Krillin, I take back what I said! (Tauira: Finally!) Get my son!
KRILLIN: Woo-hoo, I'm helping! (starts running up the stairs, but runs into Sansho)
SANSHO: I'ma break your butt! (charges at Krillin, but Piccolo sends a blast through the floor, which causes him to fall)
KRILLIN: Oh, thank God he's on our side! (runs after Gohan)
PICCOLO: I was aiming for the short, bald one, but...you'll do.
"So much for being on your side" Thinner commented.
SANSHO: You mean! (gets blasted him through a wall)
PICCOLO: Not so tough without your two back up dancers, are you, ugly?
Dreamiv facepalmed as Paint thought "Now it's personal between you and him."
SANSHO: Now, why you gotta be throwin' out mean words like that?!
PICCOLO: You know, that's fair. How about I grab a couple of friends and try to murder you instead?
SANSHO: Well personally, I think that would be uncalled for! (Shakara: Not really, that's what you did.) (Piccolo hits him again, sending him stuck onto a wall)
PICCOLO: You're right. Because unlike you.. (finishes off Sansho with a blast) ..I don't need help. (Starrow: He most defenetly does.) (starts walking outside)
(deeper inside the castle, Goku is still fighting against Ginger and Nikki, who arm themselves with swords)
GOKU: Oh, come on, you guys! That's not fair! I can't pull swords out of my body!
NIKKI: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL! (Anomaly: I need to get a sword, it'd mak studying my oppones structure easier.) (he and Ginger gang up and attacks Goku)
GOKU: (while dodging each of their attacks) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (they cut some of his hair) NO! MY 'DO! (hits block both Nikki and Ginger's attacks with his power pole) STRANGER DANGER! (extends the power pole to send Nikki crashing to the ground)
GINGER: That shit gets LONGER?!
Hatsu sighed, knowing that it might become a joke.
NIKKI: (muffled, in pain) OH, YEAH, IT DOES!
GOKU: GOKU KICK! (kicks Ginger in Nikki's direction) Kamehame...
GINGER: You ain't got shit! (fires a blast of his own)
GOKU: HA! (fires the Kamehameha wave, which swallows Ginger's blasts and sends him flying in Nikki's direction)
NIKKI: (thinking)Friggin' hell... Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big...
Hatsu growled as she muttered "Fuk1ng..."
GINGER: INCOMING!
NIKKI: OH, MY GOD! (they both get caught in the blast)
GINGER: (muffled from underneath the rubble) What a...a douchebag... (groans with his hand becoming limp)
(cut Kami and Garlic Jr. now inside the castle, and Kami's not doing any better than he was before)
GARLIC JR.: What's wrong, Kami? Fallen and can't get up? Do I need to push that big, red button for you? (Kami stumbles forward and lands on Garlic Jr.'s shoulder) ...Okay, you're making this weird, Kami.
Not seeing anything weird about it Avaritia just said "Don't know, I'd give Shade a hug if he asked" Of coursae, this made everyone look at her weirdly.
KAMI: We'll see how that immortality works out for you when I've blown us both into bits! (locks his arms around Garlic Jr. and begins charging his attack)
GARLIC JR.: Oh, really? You want to stress-test this? Sure, go ahead! And while my men are scraping little green chunks off the wall, I'll be partying in my throne room with a harem of sexy demon skanks! Seriously, what part of IMMORTALITY don't you understand?
"Is he senile or solmething? Sure looks the part" Zettai commented getting a slap from Virus in return.
PICCOLO: Actually, I'm with him. I'm gonna have to ask you not to blow yourself up right now.
GARLIC JR.: Well, well... It seems you've eluded my men!
Starrow stiffled a laugh as she punned "Nah, he spilled the spices." And the inevitable groan from the others came.
PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.
GARLIC JR.: Oh God, they're all dead, aren't they?
GOKU: Yup! Thank goodness they were so incontinent!
Anomaly smiled and sarcastically responded "Nag, that's your son."
GARLIC JR.: Looks like if you want someone killed right...you kill them yourself!
PICCOLO: Ooh, I might use that!
(Garlic Junior bulks up, being ten times his original size)
"At least immortality compensates for the loss in speed..." Tamaka commented.
GOKU: Huh... For a second, there, I swore he was gonna yell out "spaghetti" or something... (Starrow: Did they tone the stupidity down or something?) (Garlic Jr. attacks him and Piccolo and fires a blast, with both of them getting out of the way. Goku grabs Kami to and drops him at a safe distance.) Kami! Stay here and don't move! (takes off)
KAMI: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.
(Piccolo throws a punch at Garlic Jr., which does absolutely nothing)
GARLIC JR.: (speaking in a more deeper voice) Been bulking since I installed the meatery!
GOKU: ( jumps in front of Piccolo and attacks Garlic Junior) Where is it? Where is it? (Hatsu: Just tell him so he shuts up!) Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?
GARLIC JR.: I'm sure you can find one in hell! (fires a blast at Goku and Piccolo simultaneously, which causes the castle to start falling apart)
(cut to Krillin running to avoid the falling rocks while carrying Gohan)
KRILLIN: (repeatedly says, "Crap!" to the Tetris theme) Crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap, crap. (gets hit by a massive beam on the head, causing him to fall unconscious and drop Gohan, who gets buried under debris)
The collective sigh that came from that scene was immediatly followed by a "Goddamnit Krillin..."
(cut to Goku hiding from Garlic Junior)
GARLIC JR.: TOOT TOOT! (grabs Goku by the head)
GOKU: Aahh!
PICCOLO: (thinking)Ugh, my WRIST.. It doesn't hurt a LOT, but it's DEFINITELY uncomfortable.. Maybe I should get a wrist brace or some-
GARLIC JR.: PAIN TRAIN'S COMING! (grabs Piccolo's head as well)
GOKU: Hey, Piccolo!
Oracle shurgged and responded "You who are about to die, salute."
(Garlic Jr. takes both of them outside of the castle by bursting through a wall)
GARLIC JR.: Next stop: ROCK BOTTOM! (Avaritia: That was alomst as bad as one of Starrow's jokes/ Starrow: Oh come on!) (crushes them both into the ground)
GOKU: (muffled) I get it! (he and Piccolo get away) That's it! Takin' off my clothes! (takes off his shirt)
PICCOLO: Wait a minute, why would you even bring your weighted gi?
"You did too." Tauira noted.
GOKU: Why would you? (Piccolo takes off his cape and turban)
PICCOLO: Because I don't have a house to leave them in!
"There's your reason" Hatsu respomded.
GOKU: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox-King's money?
Everyone was flabbergasted at that, "You need money to buy houses in their world!?" Nightmare King questioned in surprise, "If we charged festival tokens for eveyday things it would be unsustainable!" Shakara agreed.
PICCOLO: What world do you live in?
GOKU: One with a house...and a wife...and a son!
Paint deadpanned as she said "He lives, in his own world, but he lives.)
PICCOLO: ...I really don't care for you right now. (both he and Goku charge at Garlic Jr.)
GARLIC JR.: Give me your best sho-
(Goku and Piccolo blast him simultaneously, sending him flying away)
GOKU: And that's the way the garlic crumbles!
KAMI: You DO realize he's immortal.
"Wait, they think they won?" Dreamiv asked.
PICCOLO: Pretty sure you chop garlic.
KAMI: Seriously, he wished for immortality before you showed up!
"Kami sure seems to think they do" Avaritia agreed.
GOKU: Either way, I call this another win for Goku!
PICCOLO: 'Scuse me? That was my kill!
KAMI: He's going to get up at any moment! (Nezumi: It makes me want to freeze their brain!) He's got this technique, too, and it's-
GOKU: Piccolo, it's not a competition! I already won!
KAMI: You can still sense him! He's not-
"JUST LISTEN TO THE OLD GUY!" Tamaka yelled.
PICCOLO: I am going to wear your entrails as sweatbands!
KAMI: I can literally see the debris SHAKING!
"Oh my Goodness..." Hatsu lamented.
(Goku and Piccolo ignore Kami and attack each other, and Garlic Junior gets back up)
GARLIC JR.: I AM ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT DONE!
Starrow growled before exclaimin "I be one 'undred an' ten percent done! The stupidity be common place there!"
(summons the a dark abyss known as the Dead Zone, which begins sucking up everything, although Goku and Piccolo don't notice until it causes the floor below them crumbles, which causes them to fall)
GARLIC JR.: This is the Dead Zone! The SAME dimension you banished my dear father to, Kami!
"Here's the plot device" Hatsu commented.
KAMI: So is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!
GARLIC JR.: EAT A DICK, YOU WRINKLED GREEN DUSTBIN!
(the dead zone is starting to suck everything into it, including the castle)
PICCOLO: NO! My castle! (Zettai: I thought he was joking, he was actually going to take it?) (starts flying towards the Dead Zone, but Goku manages to grab him by the foot)
GOKU: Hey, Piccolo! He's not dead!
PICCOLO: YEAH, how 'bout that?!
KAMI: YEAH, HOW 'BOUT THAT?!
"HOW ABOUT THAT!?" Everyone yelled.
PICCOLO: Well, then...this victory is MINE! (fires a blast at Garlic Jr., but it just bounces off)
GOKU: ...You want, I should take a turn?
PICCOLO: Shove it, Goku!
"Yeah! Shove it! Until you can't see it anymore!" Nezumi agreed.
(meanwhile, Krillin regains consciousness as he is being sucked toward the Dead Zone)
KRILLIN: OH GOD, NO!
GARLIC JR.: EVERYONE IS GETTING SUCKED TODAY! Demons, humans, and Gods alike! It's even sucking up your children!
GOHAN: LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE! (Tauira: Speaking od children.)(crashes through the debris he was buried under)
GARLIC JR.: Huh?
GOKU: Gohan?! Krillin, you had one job!
Hatsu facepalmed as she said "I think this will be a trend."
GARLIC JR.: Oh, how cute! And what is the four-year-old going to do to stop me? (Gohan sends a blast at him which hits him head on) Ah. (flies inside the Dead Zone, which shatters)
(cut to Gohan sleeping in Goku's arms)
GOHAN: (wakes up and see Goku) Daddy!
"He did it?" Shakara asked confused, "Don't question it." Tamaka replied.
GOKU: Hey, son!
GOHAN: What happened?
GOKU: I don't know! I think I won.
The fact that Goku basically took the credit for Gohan's victory kind of pissed everyone off.
GOHAN: You're the best, daddy!
GOKU: Uh-huh! Now, let's go han, Go-home! It's almost time for dikfast! (Virus: First linner and now difast! Why!?) (picks up his power pole and walks away with Krillin and Kami)
PICCOLO: (watching from above) ...I'm gonna steal that kid.
Hatsu looked through the episodes list confused, "Wait so this is before? But- How- It doesn't make any sense! Storywise Goku's friends only first met Gohan right before Piccolo kidnapped him! they didn't even try to make this movie fit!" She lamented at the poor story telling.
(shows Goku and Gohan heading home on the Flying Nimbus)
NARRATOR: And so, the brave Son Goku and his son defeated the evil Garlic Jr.! With the help of Piccolo, Kami, and the greatest ally known to man-kind...
KRILLIN: ...The sex master and kung-fu legend- (Dramiv: What./ Shakara: Wait./ Paint: Huh?) (cut to Kame House) KRILLIN!
NAPPA: (on the phone) Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna have to stop you right there. First question: WHY would he summon the Dead Zone-the only thing that could defeat him?
KRILLIN: Okay, you know, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.
A lot of people did a double take to make sure they weren't seeing thing, "Wait so, this was only a script Krillin was reading?" Oracle asked, "it appears so." Hatsu confirmed, "And he's really bad at writing."
NAPPA: Second question, I mean no offense: Why exactly were you there?
KRILLIN: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting...
NAPPA: And WHY did you write yourself getting peed on?
"Since we're speaking money in that world, how much will you pay him to get peed on?" Hatsu rebutted.
KRILLIN: The better question is: how much will you PAY ME to get peed on?
NAPPA: ...You're gonna go far in this business.
Being the only one with theater knowledge in the room, Hatsu was actually impressed by that, "He might."
KRILLIN: Woo-hoo!
[The film, Skygina, (Hatsu: Nevermind...) was eventually produced.
It grossed 7 billion Zeni in its first week.
"How much is that in festival tokens?" Shakara asked, Oracle did a few calculations before cocming up with an answer, "A Zeni is 10 festival coins, so 70 billion." The exchange value was mind blowing to the others.
Due to Krillin's lack of foresight, however, as well as a convoluted contract, he received no money from the film and was stricken from the credits.
Hatsu sighed and admitted "I regret thinking he could be smart."
He now lives, broke as the day he was born, at Kame House.]
("Twilight Zone" by Golden Earring starts playing as the credits roll. Garlic Jr. is shown pounding his fist as he is trapped in the Dead Zone.)
Starrow put her hands together before saying "So. That was dumber than the other two" "Only gonna get worse from here!" Hatsu exclaimed before putting in ep- *Knock Knock*, she was interrupted by a knock on the door so they stopped for a moment to see who it was, and at the door was... Lemus, "Heyia!" He exclaimed, "Uncle!?" Avaritia's kids exclaimed in return.